About Experts Sitemap - Group 14 - Page 41 2016-09-20

Communication Skills: positive behaviour, developmental abilities, behaviour in children
Communication Skills: positive behaviour, developmental abilities, behaviour in children, taking into consideration

Communication Skills: non-verbal communication, non-verbal communication, staring
non-verbal communication, staring, direct eye contact: Dear Rita: Thank you for your inquiry regarding non-verbal communication. There are cultural differences when addressing someone with your gaze. For Instance, Asian s do not look directly in each other s eyes. There is a respectful downward gaze, while...

Communication Skills: People/Relationships (Work), officfe, noise
officfe, noise, disrespect: Hi PJ - you re question eloquently describes your frustration with noise and disrespect at work. Before I comment, please note that I changed your question to public, because (a) I see no personal or privileged info here, and (b) others may benefit from this...

Communication Skills: Problem Work Colleague, grating voice, work colleague
grating voice, work colleague, telephone conversations: Dear David: Thank you for your follow-up. I concur with your thoughts to not say anything to the group where she is located now. If she is as bad as you say, guess what? They will all find out soon enough. I do think it is curious that she was removed...

Communication Skills: Problem work colleague, grating voice, work colleague
grating voice, work colleague, telephone conversations: Hello David, So far, you have taken the correct action in this situation, avoiding the co-worker, speaking to her pleasantly, and speaking to her aggressively (believe it or not, sometimes this is necessary when nothing else works, but only in extremely...

Communication Skills: why do people ask you, greeting, convention
greeting, convention, meaning: Hi J - interesting question! I believe the question is rarely meant (except in troubled times), and is a learned ritual that signifies I acknowledge and respect you now, and hope you are well because I m a nice person. Omitting this habitual inquiry risks...

Communication Skills: positive behaviour, dear emma, developmental abilities
dear emma, developmental abilities, immediate gratification: Dear Emma, Thank you for your inquiry regarding communication with children. I must admit, Emma, I not only hear and feel your frustration, but I also hear that this problem is now out of hand. To be honest with you Enna, without being privy to the history...

Communication Skills: question regarding generalization, pilipina, western woman
pilipina, western woman, canadian man: Hi again - you seem extremely frustrated and intense on trying to express your belief and be understood. I m sorry, I can t answer your question. have no knowledge of what people in the countries you mention think of Philipinas. I suspect they have a range...

Communication Skills: respectful communication strategies, communicate, kids
communicate, kids, examples: Hi Emma - thanks for the interesting question. Here are about 40 examples to use with older kids and adults: http://sfhelp.org/cx/tools/options.htm and here are specific suggestions for communicating effectively with most kids: http://sfhelp.org/cx/kids.htm...

Communication Skills: My 23 yr old dghter hates me, hostility, disrespect
hostility, disrespect, mother: Hi again - sounds like two main problems, Luanne: 1) apparently you are an ACoA - Adult Child of an Addicted family. If you don t know what that is or what it means, search on that term in Google and see where it leads you. One thing it means is you have...

Communication Skills: how to break negative patterns, relationships, patterns
relationships, patterns, toxic parents: Hi Tina - I have great compassion for you, partly because my parents passed on major wounds ( patterns ) to me just like yours did. Please do NOT give up! I have seen Inner Family Therapy work to rebalance scores of people like us ( Grown Wounded Children...

Communication Skills: establish and maintain professional relationships, professional relationship
professional relationship: Hi Emma - I m puzzled by your question, because I suspect you already know the answer. To create a positive impression, whomever greets Mr. Singh should be: respectful and courteous attentive informed on the centre s services, staff, and layout responsive...

Communication Skills: Just a kiss...Right?, relationship expectations, kissing others
relationship expectations, kissing others: Dear Nicki, Your bf s withoholding about the kissing incident is not an easy thing to deal with. On the one hand, he wanted to come clean with you, but on the otherhand, he did not want to hurt you. It sounds like you have not had a serious discussion with...

Communication Skills: mom aand i, mother, daughter
mother, daughter, relate: Hi Tomeka - a complex question. From your description, I suspect your Mom may be a Grown Wounded Child (GWC). If so, it s not surprising she has trouble communicating (and thinking?) clearly, and accepting you as a young adult. See these for perspective:...

Communication Skills: Professional tutor student relationship, professional tutor, tutor student
professional tutor, tutor student, student relationship: Hello, Why do you want to interpret the conversation and make your own stories about it. What you should do is talk it out straight and put your view and opinion straight in front of him and without offending him. Tell him what works for you and what...

Communication Skills: Rudeness, wounds, numbness
wounds, numbness, unawareness: Hi Jamie - thanks for the important, articulate question. I don t believe you are a rude, obnoxious man. You probably are one of millions of normal survivors of a traumatic childhood who is burdened with unawareness + six significant psychological wounds....

Communication Skills: How do I (age 54) get closure from moms (age 83) remark? Is there a way to confront her without a fight?, values conflict, disfespect
values conflict, disfespect, mother: Hi Debbie - you two seem to have two problems - (1) a values conflict, and (2) you feeling criticized and disrespected by her for your value about not donating clothes(?) I suspect you two have had many values conflicts thruout your years - yes? If so, how...

Communication Skills: My boyfriend and I are breaking up. I don't know what else to do...., break up, relationship
break up, relationship, distrust: Hi Amanda - tough situation. As a therapist, I have worked with troubled divorced and remarried people since 1981. In that time, I have seen a pattern: with few exceptions, one or both adults have survived traumatic childhoods, and bear significant psychological...

Communication Skills: How to communicate with my 7 year old?, child, rebellion
child, rebellion, stubborn: Hi Trisha - I applaud the energy you re expending on trying to help your daughter and your family. Sounds like she s forcing you into lose-lose power struggles. One way to look at this is she is testing to see if you are stronger than she is, to prove she...

Communication Skills: Family communications and relationship, family, parents
family, parents, fighting: Hi Scott - your question IS in the right place. You have a tough family situation. I doubt very much that their fighting is your fault. From your description, it sounds like no one ever showed your parents how to *problem-solve.* http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/ps.htm...

Communication Skills: How to communicate with my 7 year old?, bedtimes, boundaries
Communication Skills: How to communicate with my 7 year old?, bedtimes, boundaries, counseling

Communication Skills: nonstop talkers, customers, rudeness
customers, rudeness, overtalking: Hi Laura - I understand you don t want to be rude - and that doesn t justify choosing to be a victim of a customer s insensitivity. Reality: some people are so insecure that they will misinterpret the most polite response as rudeness. You can do nothing...

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Communication-Skills-3928/2009/12/Sick-walked.htm


Communication Skills: Getting him to talk more, thik, wedding location
thik, wedding location, quiet time: Hi Stacy, This is not easy to answer. It has a lot to do with how both of you have been brought up to listen to others, especially how to listen to the other sex. There are many ideas about listening and communicating, but I will try to suggest just a few....

Communication Skills: When things get mad..., anger, frustration
anger, frustration, assertion: Hi Jascha - interesting question. Options: 1) Stay clear that you are not responsible to make them feel better. 2) learn to recognize the difference between anger and frustration. They feel and sound the same, but have different roots. Frustration...

Communication Skills: what do you think of my cousin, exwife, daughter age
exwife, daughter age, lowlife: Hi - I m impressed by how intensely and rigidly you need to judge Earl. You re really not open to other viewpoints on this, are you? I assume you didn t bother to read the articles I suggested. Keep them in mind when the next round of blame, hurt, anger, and...

Communication Skills: How do I, lord taylors, half hour
lord taylors, half hour, charity: Dear Debbie: You have given me a loud statement that you love what you have and will not part. My question to you is why are you doubting yourself? Your Mother? What power is it that she has over your possessions? They are your possessions, right?...

Communication Skills: Blushing, shy, shyness
shy, shyness, blushing: Hi Joe - I m sure you can reduce or end your blushing for free, if you re willing to raise your self awareness. 1) Try checking your reality. Do other people notice you blushing? (Ask them). If so, what does it mean to them, if anything. My experience...

Communication Skills: Body Language, body language, curiousity
body language, curiousity, mind reading: Hi David - I have no idea. Is she divorced? Have you dated a long time? Is she sizing you up for marriage? Did she have an ache or rash on that finger? Was she nervous? The *real* question is - why do you suppose this is important to you? In my experience,...

Communication Skills: How to communicate to masseuse that she needs to massage HARDER?, frustration, massage
frustration, massage, assertion: Hi Tamara - I understand your frustration. you re the paying customer, and (I believe) have the right to say how you want the service performed. So how about saying I need you to massage me harder, please. ? If you ve had male masseuses before, you may be...

Communication Skills: friendship, friendship, anger
friendship, anger, moodiness: Hi Kara - thanks for the question. Several thoughts: (1) excessive moodiness is often caused by psychological wounds from significant childhood trauma (like neglect or abuse). Read these and see if they could describe you: http://sfhelp.org/01/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: Internet., allexpert, internet question
allexpert, internet question, trouble with the law: Hi - I suggest you give him full responsibility for his behavior, be honest, and allow him to deal with his own feelings like a grownup. Perhaps if his feelings are hurt, he will stop pretending to be an expert and taking advantage of needy/curious girls....

Communication Skills: shocked, self doubt, confusion
self doubt, confusion, attraction: Hi Tara - your real problem (I think) is not trusting your own wisdom about the next right thing to do. My opinion is you should trust your senses and others validations, see him as a very wounded and potentially dangerous guy, and question why have any further...

Communication Skills: Topics 2 discuss at lunch w/boss?, talk, boss
talk, boss, family: Hi Suzie - very articulate question. It implies that you don t trust the four of you adults to co-create a natural(unplanned) conversation. Why not trust that a pleasant shared dining experience will tighten your relationship all by itself? My experience...

Communication Skills: therapy, boundaries, therapy
boundaries, therapy, therapist: Hi Susan - as a therapist (and client) myself, I empathize with both of you. As you probably know, licensed therapists are professionally barred by codes of ethics from encouraging a social relationship with clients as long as the work continues. It s natural...

Communication Skills: working with supervisor/kids, self-doubt, converse
self-doubt, converse, conversation: Hi Amy - It sounds like your real problem is not trusting your own wisdom about what to say. Can you name what your nervousness is about? One option is to develop genuine curiosity about new people (including kids), and ask them respectful questions...

Communication Skills: advice, relationship, self-doubt
relationship, self-doubt, disclosure: Hi Angelo - if I read you right, you don t want to lose this relationship, and you re unsure how to tell the girl you want one with her. I suggest that this is a different woman than the first one you mention, and she may not find another guy if she likes...

Communication Skills: Communicating in sports, coach, sports
coach, sports, boys: Hi Andrew - thanks for the interesting question. Several suggestions: 1) Sounds like your real question is How can I get the boys to *want* to be vocal during and after the game? That sounds more like *your* need than theirs - yes? 2) The WAY you re...

Communication Skills: communication breakdowm, communicate, communication
communicate, communication, basics: Hi Nida - Thanks for the clear questions. I propose that any perceived action or lack of action in one person that causes a significant reaction in another person is communication. Significant is a subjective opinion. Because silence or no response...

Communication Skills: crazed blog, self distrust, attraction
self distrust, attraction, sex: Hi Mary - I think you should respect and trust your own judgment. From what you describe, this guy may be studly, but sounds *really* wounded and immature to me. I don t know what or who you re looking for, but surely you can find a healthier guy who respects...

Communication Skills: Expressing myself, feeling left out, nothing to say
feeling left out, nothing to say, self doubt: Hi Danny - your question is important, not a bother ! Several ideas to consider: 1) Get clear on whose rule it is that I must always have something to say. Where did you get that rule? How about a new rule that might sound like I m OK if I have nothing...

Communication Skills: Handling a Annoying Kid, frustration, kid
frustration, kid, dislike: Hi Shawn - sounds pretty aggravating. I suspect this annoying kid is hurt and angry and confused because nobody likes him, and may be acting out because of that. I also suspect your being pissed off is really *frustration* because he won t cooperate...

Communication Skills: need help in improving relation wit frnds, making friends, college
making friends, college, self-doubt: Hi Koel - sounds like a difficult problem. I feel that real friends would understand your having home responsibilities and would support you. The best advice I have is here: http://sfhelp.org/basics/analyze.htm http://sfhelp.org/basics/premises.htm ...

Communication Skills: Problem saying no, fear, self confidence
fear, self confidence, rights: Hi Jenny - your question applies to MANY people! Suggestions: 1) build a credible Bill of Personal rights, like this one: http://sfhelp.org/basics/rights.htm - it is the foundation for effective assertions. 2) Practice the basics of effective assertion...

Communication Skills: Communicating with Friends, option risk, inner conflict
option risk, inner conflict, self disclosure: You re welcome. How about the idea you are a unique person, and you are OK just the way you should be? Introversion is not needing other people in order to be content. It is neither good nor bad (in my opinion). My respectful sense is that you re comparing...

Communication Skills: communication skills problem, self doubt, shame
self doubt, shame, shy: Hello Marquis - I appreciate your frustration. From your sketch, I suspect your problem is not communicating, but excessive shame, self-doubt, and fears. If so, these are classic symptoms of surviving a low-nurturance childhood. You may well be a Grown...

Communication Skills: How to deal with this friend, social intimacy, intimate conversation
social intimacy, intimate conversation, friend thanks: Amanda - You description does not paint her as a true friend. If so, she s probably more a source of heartache than pleasure. Selfish and Insensitive may be unable to care and empathize see this: http://sfhelp.org/Rx/wounds/bonding.htm If you want...

Communication Skills: divorce, break up, love
break up, love, indecision: Hi Alex - I d say that jealousy is a form of fear - fear of abandonment and loneliness, + a fear of I m not good enough. True love (rather than possessive love) means wanting the best for your beloved, even if that means separating. You can not make ...

Communication Skills: english, learn, study
learn, study, English: Hello Noemi - I m not sure what your question is. If you re asking Is my speech correct? I would say Yes and No. Your meaning is well organized and clear, and you have a few mistakes in your grammar and punctuation (like starting new sentences with a capital...

Communication Skills: expression, buying on time, installment plan
buying on time, installment plan, knowlegde: Hi - Id appreciate it if you d only ask one question at a time. I d say... 1) this means you can trust unreliable people to be unreliable 2) buying on time refers to purchasing things on the installment plan 3) this is a foolish suggestion that...

Communication Skills: Future Son In Law, courting, danger
courting, danger, wounds: Hi Joan - you sketch a difficult situation. From your description, I suspect both your daughter and her partner are psychologically-wounded - and you and your husband may be too. See these: http://sfhelp.org/01/gwc.htm and http://sfhelp.org/01/gwc_means.htm...

Communication Skills: Handicap for calling, friends, never call
friends, never call, friendship: Hi Richard - I think this IS normal for people who (a) don t need other people, (b) are wounded and unable to bond, (c) feel inferior in some way, and/or (d) are over-focused on themselves and don t know how to ask questions about other people. For perspective...

Communication Skills: Money, money, loan
money, loan, family: Hi William - without knowing more of your situation, my instinct favors respectful honesty and compromise. Ideally, you, your wife, and your sister could talk together. The honesty part might sound like We (you and your wife) don t see how you d be able to...

Communication Skills: money issues with family!, money, bequest
money, bequest, expenses: Hi Lynn - thanks for the articulate question. Sounds like you have a values conflict. Read these for some overall perspective: http://sfhelp.org/premises.htm http://sfhelp.org/basics/money.htm Since it s your dad s estate, what would he have you...

Communication Skills: Narcisstic Client, Narcissism, Narcissist
Narcissism, Narcissist, money: Hi Pat - thanks for the interesting question. Your frustration (vs. hatred ) comes thru loud and clear. Several suggestions: 1) Let go of your DSM labeling. It will make things WORSE! 2) Convert your criticism of this poor soul to compassion. Like all...

Communication Skills: plz help me soon by answerng, communicate, special educator
communicate, special educator, benefits: Hello NIDZ - Communication skill is important for ALL people in order to get their current needs met and have satisfying relationships. I m not sure what you mean by special educator. If you mean someone who works with disadvantaged kids or adults, effective...

Communication Skills: question about something, nervous, confusion
nervous, confusion, motivation: Hi Jenna - there could be several reasons... Nervous can indicate several things: (1) worry or fear of some discomfort, (2) attraction, and (3) uncertainty or unpredictability. The other person might... 1) not think of themselves as powerful,...

Communication Skills: question / help, trust, distrust
trust, distrust, work: Hi Jenna - I can t say what makes you nervous - only you can. Nervous to me is a feeling that something uncomfortable may happen that you can t predict or control. I wonder if you have been sexually harassed before, and are sensitive to it possibly happening...

Communication Skills: i got a question, body language, arm
body language, arm, meaning: Hi Brianna - it can mean many things, depending on the people and situation - e.g. I want to make contact with you. / I like you. / I m too shy to hug you. / I feel like touching you. If you re unsure, why not ask the other person what they need from...

Communication Skills: Relatives, relatives, stress
relatives, stress, distrust: Hi Sherry - you describe a cluster of related relationship problems: distrust, disrespect, aggression, boundaries, and frustration. Keeping these people out of your life depends on your (a) getting clear on what you need from each of them; (b) asserting...

Communication Skills: suicide, suicide, motivations
suicide, motivations, attitudes: Hi Noemi - these are very complex questions. My opinion is that when people are in increasing physical and/or emotional pain and see no reasonable possibility of relief, they consider suicide. This is specially true if they have no supporters. Experts suggest...

Communication Skills: Testing People, friends, relationships
friends, relationships, test: Hi Ava - I think each case is unique. Relationship testing is often a sign of (a) insecurity (e.g. shame and fear of rejection) and (b) the need to control the relationship and avoid possible pain. Such fearful people are often wounded and governed by a...

Communication Skills: well... this is sort of a comunication issue... not quite what ur used to in afraid, flirting, confusion
flirting, confusion, self doubt: Hi Charlotte - thanks for an interesting question. You sound crystal clear you re not interested in flirting. So trust yourself to respond naturally - and let go of trying to guess or take responsibility for how he reads you. As you work together, your relationship...

Communication Skills: annoying kid, conflict, boy
conflict, boy, teen girl: Hi Cher - without knowing more details, I d guess you have a *family* problem, not a kid problem. Two things your nephew may be protesting are (a) that he s been abandoned by his own parents, and (b) that he lost you when your boyfriend moved in. He may...

Communication Skills: Does my BF have some problems?, single mom, serious relationship
single mom, serious relationship, good heart: Hi. 1) If he is a GWC, you may be too because we GWCs often choose each other without meaning to. 2) You both can learn about GWC wounds and wound-recovery, and decide if either of you want to commit to wound-reduction. See http://sfhelp.org/01/project01.htm...

Communication Skills: Friendship/Romance and Dyslexia, confusion, frustration
confusion, frustration, relationship: Hi Erika - sounds like a frustrating situation. It sounds like you are getting double messages from him - (actions dont match words). I also think dyslexia wouldn t get in the way of a relationship that he wants. I wonder if part of the problem is he wants...

Communication Skills: Intimate relationship, marital problems, wounds
marital problems, wounds, ignorance: Hi Dave- I am VERY familiar with your difficult situation. From your sketch, you have married a classic Grown Wounded Child (GWC): http://sfhelp.org/01/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/01/gwc_means.htm It s likely YOU are a GWC also (as I am), since we tend...

Communication Skills: kissing a married man, kiss, married friend
kiss, married friend, boundaries: Hi Sarah - If you have no sexual desire for him and your relationship boundaries are stable, I see nothing wrong with your kissing goodbye - unless he interprets that as you leading him on. Apparently he feels guilty about kissing you in front of his wife,...

Communication Skills: IN LOVE WITH SHY GUY, uncertainty, double message
uncertainty, double message, love: Hi Liz - Thru no fault of yours, Shy Guy (SG) may fear contact with you because he feels uncertain about how to act. Best friend my have an opinion about that. SG s behavior sounds like a double (approach/avoid) message, which is confusing and frustrating....

Communication Skills: Phone call., etiquette, avoidance
etiquette, avoidance, siblings: Hi Randy - I propose that etiquette is an arbitrary code of behavior invented for people who don t trust their own judgment and fear social disapproval. I feel the more relevant question is how does the lady feel about avoiding her blood brother (e.g. guilty?...

Communication Skills: Question..., anxiety, social
anxiety, social, gatherings: Hi Nathan - does shaky mean anxious ? If so, your question becomes What am I anxious about in social gatherings, and how can I replace it with true self-confidence and serenity? I don t know enough about you to offer a specific answer. In general, this...

Communication Skills: Social Interaction, conversation, self doubt
conversation, self doubt, socializing: Hi Owen - your sketch suggests you are able to communicate fine at work, but not socially. What s the difference for you? I suspect you may condition yourself (forecast) to feel awkward approaching social gatherings - do you? If so, one option is to confront...

Communication Skills: I can't figure out my TA's behavior towards me, confusion, behavior
confusion, behavior, college: Hi Jason - I don t know what the deal is. What I read is that you re puzzled and confused by his behavior and you re trying to understand whether he likes you or not. What I know is that people who give double messages (words and actions don t match) are...

Communication Skills: communication skills ,master words, shyness, fear
shyness, fear, self doubt: Hi Ben - sounds like you want to improve your relationship with this girl and feel that your shyness may be getting in the way. If you try to behave in a cool way instead of being genuine (who you really are),she s apt to feel you re a phony, which is a turn...

Communication Skills: Hi I got some more questions, self doubt, trust
self doubt, trust, inner wisdom: Hi Jenna - I suggest you ignore shoulds and can ts, get quiet, and trust your own inner wisdom. You might tell your boss you re uneasy about the gift and see what s/he does - and/or give another pin/pen to the other person regardless of what your boss says...

Communication Skills: Hi, smile, smiling
smile, smiling, feedback: Hi Jenna - without knowing more about the persons, relationship, face and voice dynamics,and context, it s hard to say what that means. It could be a compliment, an observation, a criticism, sarcasm, or other things. Possibility - shame-based (psychologically-wounded)...

Communication Skills: I'm not sure..., shyness, body language
shyness, body language, insecurity: Hi Peter - I don t know enough about you to guess if the hand positions mean anything. It may be an unconscious form of protection against something that you experienced as a child (?) One way to learn more is to intentionally do something else with your...

Communication Skills: Notifying siblings., disabled parent, power of attorney
disabled parent, power of attorney, discuss: Hi Randy - without knowing more about your family situation, I can see no reason not to talk with them. I assume your priority is who among you would be the best (ie most knowledgeable, sensible, and motivated) at managing your Mother s assets. Another...

Communication Skills: Question on interpersonal communication skills, self doubt, sensitivity
self doubt, sensitivity, confusion: Hi Nick - the theme I get from these stories is that (a) you re very thoughtful and analytical, and (b) you re very sensitive to perceived criticism or disagreement. Sounds like you needed affirmation for your own creativity and intelligence - yes? If so,...

Communication Skills: advice, native english speaker, classroom situation
native english speaker, classroom situation, taking education: Hello Paul, Your question is very broad, can you be a little more specific and give me some more information? Is this your first time teaching? What specifically do you want to improve or be more effective in (public speaking, listening, etc.)? Can you...

Communication Skills: dealing with a hostile co-worker, hostile work environment, ticking time bomb
hostile work environment, ticking time bomb, legal jargon: Steve, Conflict resolution has almost as many potential different faces as there are conflicts. I will do my very best given the well written scenario that you provided. My response presumes that RESOLUTION of the overall issue is what you as a group are...

Communication Skills: Forgiveness, dumb mistake, time arguments
dumb mistake, time arguments, good relationship: Hello Jill, That can be confusing can t it? To forgive others you must forgive yourself. In this situation, you definitely have a right to feel the way you do. He lied and broke your trust. That isn t something that will just go away. If you decide...

Communication Skills: Still just a square, that pretty much sums, president kennedy
Communication Skills: Still just a square, that pretty much sums, president kennedy, pretty much sums

Communication Skills: hi I got some questions, reading body language, non verbal communication
reading body language, non verbal communication, adam young: Hello Jenna, This could mean a number of things. It may mean he likes you, or he may just like smiling at people and talking out loud. Reading body language can be useful in social situations, but trying to analyze this behavior and figure out whether...

Communication Skills: Problem friend, long time friend, freedom of expression
long time friend, freedom of expression, cumulative effect: Hello David, Your problem is a common one, but does not make it any easier on you. When you get interrupted it can make you feel like what you say has no value, or that others don t care, which can be extremely frustrating. Kudos for considering ways to...

Communication Skills: Seeking online social networking advice‏, networking advice, facial expressions
networking advice, facial expressions, safety on the internet: Dan, Before I begin answering your questions, I would like to congratulate you on your superior communication skills as indicated by your extremely well written request. This is one of the finest examples of clear and concise written communication I have...

Communication Skills: Seeking online social networking advice‏, networking advice, facial expressions
networking advice, facial expressions, safety on the internet: Hello Dan, Using social networking sites to meet people is very useful for finding people with similar interests, but yes, there are many restrictions to online communication. Often messages are misunderstood or interpreted incorrectly because of those...

Communication Skills: Still just a square, positive attitude, insincerity
positive attitude, insincerity, social situations: Hello Lisa, Well first let me say, if you are able to talk to adults and elders, you do not have bad social skills. You have the skills, and have used them, but for some reason cannot use them with your peers. Do you know what the root of your anxiety...

Communication Skills: worrying, communication skill, wrong idea
communication skill, wrong idea, time today: Dear Josh, Although you think it is stupid, it is not stupid to ask your partner about what he thinks about your not getting erect. However, I would suggest that the way in which you express it be done a little differently. My suggestion is that you start...

Communication Skills: C. P, mail message, 33 years
mail message, 33 years, point of contact: Hello C.P., I think you have the right idea by contacting your manager. You are absolutely correct about not complaining, however this situation seems difficult to resolve. The priority in this situation is to resolve the issue without blaming or insulting...

Communication Skills: C P, mail message, 33 years
mail message, 33 years, point of contact: Sam, I hope that my input will help you to arrive at the best way to handle this situation. You have given me limited information regarding potential causes, and protocol within your particular profession, but in general terms, I would advise the following....

Communication Skills: C P, rudeness, meanness
rudeness, meanness, name calling: Hi Sam - I can understand your frustration with the new poc. Your email is appropriate and to the point, tho a little long. How about Please tell me who my unit (not unite ) poc is. The person I thought was my poc (you might use his name here) says he is...

Communication Skills: Commuinication Skills Therapist, communication skills, improve
communication skills, improve, articulate: Hi Becky - I applaud your wish to communicate more effectively, and believe you can. Do you need a speech therapist to improve your actual articulation, or a communication-skill therapist. For the former, check with a local hospital or your doctor for recommendations....

Communication Skills: effective communication, confusion, double message
confusion, double message, misunderstanding: Hi Debra - sounds very frustrating! My sense is that you re getting a double message from the chairman, or you have a misunderstanding. You feel you two agreed on your responsibilities and then he said you were outside the scope. Several options - 1)...

Communication Skills: ex boyfriend is depressed and has gone mad, boyfriend, concern
boyfriend, concern, grief: Hi - your concern and frustration is very clear. My experience a veteran therapist is: 1) you and his Mom cannot persuade him to get help. Logic is of no use. 2) He sounds like a psychologically-wounded person - possibly with Dissociative Identity Disorder...

Communication Skills: hi, smart move, boyfriends
smart move, boyfriends, monique: Hello Monique, That s a tough situation. Most likely, your boyfriend s family will not take no for an answer. I do not know what kind of relationship you have with them, but since they are related, they feel they have a right to see the baby. Saying...

Communication Skills: in love with a married man!, attraction, love
attraction, love, married man: Hi B - seems like there are two levels here - loving him and wanting him. If you two are just mutually attracted, human nature will probably propel you to confront whether you want a sexual relationship. If/when that confrontation occurs, a lot is riding...

Communication Skills: Q, interpreter and translator, master sergeant
interpreter and translator, master sergeant, first cav: Sam, I recall a previous question from you. From reading this, It seems that your problem has not resolved. I am sorry to hear that. I will make what grammar corrections I can with your letter, and I hope that it helps. It is fairly clear to me that...

Communication Skills: Siblings, tiny gap, night arguments
tiny gap, night arguments, generic answer: Sammy, You did a good job at summarizing the problem at the end of your request. In every exchange of communication, there is a sender and a receiver. You can send all day and if the receiver refuses to receive, then you will not succeed in the communication....

Communication Skills: Siblings, tiny gap, night arguments
tiny gap, night arguments, pound on: Hello Sammy, Trying to reason with someone who has a I m always right attitude is extremely difficult if not impossible because they have no reason to listen to anyone else. They truly think they are right, so there is no need to hear another opinion....

Communication Skills: Son In Law, parents, daughtger
parents, daughtger, marriage: Hi Joan - I m very familiar with your situation. To clarify your options, I suggest: 1) read and discuss these articles on Grown Wounded Children (GWCs) - they probably apply to both young people - http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm and http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: body language question, language question, ear shot
language question, ear shot, attractiveness: Jenna, Well I suppose the general, non sexist possibility is, that they are interested in you and what you are doing. If they like you, then they are just paying attention if they don t like you, then they may be staging to have a discussion about you...

Communication Skills: A friend's affair, school girlfriend, love triangle
school girlfriend, love triangle, uncomfortable place: Hello Mike, You were honest with him, you shared your concerns, and you even saw a positive side to the situation. There is not much else a friend can ask for. He put you in the middle when he began to share the details with you, and you had every right...

Communication Skills: Being ignored, feeling ignored, invisible
feeling ignored, invisible, coworkers: Hi Van - I can understand your frustration. Sounds like your question nets out to - do I have any options for having co-workers want to notice and acknowledge me? If so, here are some thoughts - 1) If this has happened to you in other settings (with different...

Communication Skills: what does it mean if some say smile?, non verbal communication, accurate input
non verbal communication, accurate input, flirtation: Jenna, There can certainly be many reasons why someone would say that to you. The most benign reason would most likely be to indicate that he or she is aware that you are upset or unhappy about something, and they may be using that phrase to elicit a...

Communication Skills: money., values conflict, teenager
values conflict, teenager, parent: Hi Nathan - Im puzzled - If your Mom is a hair dresser, why would she not be confident about cutting your hair? I understand that you want to save your money. As a fellow guy, I m also surprised at your wanting a cut every two weeks. (Does it grow that...

Communication Skills: money., hair dressing, hair dresser
hair dressing, hair dresser, new hair: Dear Nathan. I have several suggestions. Why not let her cut your hair so she can get better at doing it again. I am sure she will be careful. Also, how about cutting your hair every three weeks.I do not think it is necessary every two weeks for a 14 year...

Communication Skills: is it normal to be afraid to talk to women, anxiety, talking
anxiety, talking, girls: Hi Matt - you have a common problem. I propose that fear of talking to women is not the real issue. Your real problem is the voices in your head that are discouraging and depressing you. I compassionately guess you are one of millions of normal people who...

Communication Skills: is it okay for, work relationship, work relationships
work relationship, work relationships, leaveing: Hello Jenna, Yes, it is acceptable for a supervisor to have a conversation with you. In fact, work relationships that involve casual conversation that don t interfere with work improve the relationship. I assume you are curious whether your boss is...

Communication Skills: Parents, family conflict, steady eye
family conflict, steady eye, place where people: Hi again - sounds to me like your parents (a) aren t willing to respect your needs and opinions as equally important as ther own, and (b) aren t able to listen to or problem-solve with you. I tentatively suspect that they have larger relationhip problems than...

Communication Skills: Presentation Communication, fear of public speaking, giving a presentation
fear of public speaking, giving a presentation, self confidence: Salah, Your question is one which many people ask. The fear of public speaking is one of the most common, and highly feared. There are many reasons behind this, and more than one may apply to any given individual. But for you, it is important that you determine...

Communication Skills: why do people, co worker, police officers
co worker, police officers, patience: Jenna, I started to answer this question yesterday, and was unfortunately unable to complete before I lost my wireless connection. I had written an extensive answer, and am trying to recover that work. If you could please be patient for a day or two, I...

Communication Skills: will people still like you if you did something wrong?, unfortunate result, substantial sum
unfortunate result, substantial sum, criminal act: Jenna, First, Please don t be scared . Understand that taking a business card, is in no way a criminal act. People want you to take their business card, it is a tool they use for marketing their wares, or services. So, you did not steal anything, so...

Communication Skills: question about, work relationship, hi adam
work relationship, hi adam, leadership role: Hello Jenna, Absolutely. Managers lead, develop, and watch over their staff. Some managers in this leadership role may feel a bond beyond a work relationship. A manager can feel proud of the people that they help develop or their accomplishments, as...

Communication Skills: question about why some one says., motivation
motivation: Hi Jenna - I m cautious about generalizing, because people and situations are so different. One possible purpose to the question is to establish common ground and avoid having to explain something the other person already knows. I suggest that the best answer...

Communication Skills: I cant seem to get motivated for any thing, motivation, apathy
motivation, apathy, parents: Hi D - your situation sounds REALLY frustrating! The first thing I suggest is to shift your definition of the problem from me (you) to my parents. I strongly suspect that they are psychologically wounded, and don t know how to co-create a high-nurturance...

Communication Skills: judgmental language, arbitrary standards, inferior position
Communication Skills: judgmental language, arbitrary standards, inferior position, resource control

Communication Skills: Are feelings outside of my family beyond my comprehension?, empathy, disinterest
empathy, disinterest, antisocial: Hi Amina - very articulate, honest question - thank you. The main questions I read are (1) why am I the way I am? and (2) How can I find peace with my inner battle (be alone vs. enjoy others)? Without knowing more than what you wrote, I suspect you are...

Communication Skills: help I said the same thing as him., different hat, tiny lil
different hat, tiny lil, janurary: Dear J, It could be one of two things: he was being polite or yes, possibly the next step in forming a relationship. At this point, it is hard to decipher and could go either way. However, that is the natural progression - starting small talk to see...

Communication Skills: judgmental language, judgemental language, elements
judgemental language, elements, variables: Hi Jamie - interesting question! I can t define the 5 elements, but have an opinion about judgmental communication (vs. language ) Judgement comes from (a) inside ourselves, and (b) other people. By definition, it focuses on describing the relative...

Communication Skills: moving changed my son, old neighborhood, quiet nature
old neighborhood, quiet nature, word answers: Dear Tiffany, Thank you for your inquiry regarding communication. Tiffany, I think you already know this is his way of handling the move by repressing his feelings with the removal of words. However, here are some questions to ask yourself: Is he communicating...

Communication Skills: an outline, writing an outline, legal representative
writing an outline, legal representative, court hearing: Dear Charyne, Thank you for your inquiry. I am not sure I know what it is you need. In order to have an outline, I need facts. Are you asking me to write a Motion for change of jurisdiction (legal document?) I am not authorized to give you legal advice,...

Communication Skills: Parents, arguing, critical parents
arguing, critical parents, yelling: Hi Sam - very frustrating situation. I suspect your parents are often ruled by a false self, which is reactive, judgemental, and impatient. If so, they don t know it or what to do about it. Read these to understand what I m suggesting: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: why do people, behvior, greetings
behvior, greetings, names: Hi again. My opiniuon is - most people want to feel they are cordial and friendly, and want to acknowledge others in a pleasant way rather than be silent and disrespectful. Avoiding names and greetings can imply I don t care about you - you don t exist -...

Communication Skills: Why do people talk explicitly about sex?, sex, talk
sex, talk, discomfort: Hi Ellen - I can only speculate, like you. If the three know each other well, they may trust each other with that level of female intimacy - and get some titillation from being explicit. They may each be very comfortable with their sexualiy, and see no need...

Communication Skills: Ref: question, verbal communication skills, verbal and non verbal communication
verbal communication skills, verbal and non verbal communication, cultural protocol: Dear Sam, Thank you for your inquiry regarding breaking barriers with communication. There are several ways to gain rapport with other people. However, it is not so much what you so or the word, but your non-verbal communication skills. I must warn...

Communication Skills: Ref: question, friendship, liking
friendship, liking, trust: Hi again, Sam - I m afraid your question is too broad to answer meaningfully. One suggestion: using lines : or phrases implies being phony, (political) rather than genuine n- which is a turn-off. Regardless of culture, we all want the same things: mutual...

Communication Skills: whats his body language saying, garbage guy, head nod
garbage guy, head nod, hand fingers: Dear Jenna: For what I can tell by your story there are several signals that definitely sounds like interest. However, it is hard for me to discern at this point. What I can do is give you some more intense signals to look for and some actions to do to...

Communication Skills: whats his body language saying?, garbage guy, head nod
garbage guy, head nod, hand fingers: Again - without knowing the context, I can t say. It depends on the relationship, the environment, the recent interactions, the personality,, etc. One option you always have is to ASK - as in Why did you just put your hand up like that? Otherwise you re...

Communication Skills: whats does it mean when some body says, colloquial sayings
colloquial sayings: Dear J, Thank you for your inquiry in communication. It sounds like a colloquial saying. Meaning it is a shorten abbreviation of the formal How are you doing? Southerners in the United States use the colloquial How are yall form for the formal How...

Communication Skills: 7 y/o kid fear of honesty, father, son
father, son, anxiety: Hello Han - Your boys are fortunate to have such loving parents. In general, people withhold the truth when they feel revealing it would be unsafe. Kids withhold some things if they fear ridicule, criticism, being ignored, or causing a big problem with their...

Communication Skills: Communication skills, non-verbal communication, basics
non-verbal communication, basics: Hello, Shakti: Q1 - I don t understand what you are asking. Personal appearance (clothing and grooming# can imply things about a person, like whether they re wealthy or not, self-respecting or not, and socially-conscious # proper ) or not. The implication...

Communication Skills: Ex issues.., vigrin, cause fights
vigrin, cause fights, thoughs: Okay, this seems like a clear-cut answer. You have to do what he asks. You gotta cut ALL communications with this guy. I understand that you re still emotionally attached to this guy, but I can tell you one thing - emotions mess up your judgment and your reasoning....

Communication Skills: why do people put, salutation, to
salutation, to, signing: Dear Jessi, Thank you for your inquiry. Good question! When I am signing my books, I also use the word to as a form of salutation. It gives a sense of formality rather than abruptly writing their name. However, although it may go back to tradition,...

Communication Skills: Trouble with verbal communication?, confidence, listening
confidence, listening, expressing yourself: Hi Kasey The first thing I d say is that it is clear that you are not stupid, nor that you have difficulty expressing yourself in an eloquent way - even though you begin by apologising in case the message seems scattered - which it didn t. So first of all...

Communication Skills: Trouble with verbal communication, difficulty speaking, fear
difficulty speaking, fear, anxiety: Hi Kasey - your story is familiar to me. I suspect from what you write you are a Grown Wounded Child (GWC) burdened with excessive fears and shame. I so, you inherited these wounds from your wounded, unaware ancestors: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm...

Communication Skills: is it wrong to, doubt, confusion
doubt, confusion, rudeness: Hi Jessi - I see nothing wrong with politely asking for your work back. I can t say if it s stealing or not without knowing whether you put any restrictions on the work as you gave it to the first person (like Do not give a copy of this to anyone without...

Communication Skills: how to become bold and straight forward?, enormous stress, courageous person
enormous stress, courageous person, strong opinions: Hi Momina, thanks for your question. I m a little unsure what you are concerned about. Not having strong opinions can mean we live a more flowing, flexible, open-minded life. Having rigid views can be a cause of enormous stress and defending our strong...

Communication Skills: Communication Skills of bca, faking attention, double message
faking attention, double message, mixed message: Hi - faking attention to (interest in) someone - specially if habitual - is dishonest. It risks causing the other person to feel disrespected and distrustful. Those feelings will always degrade the effectiveness of communication (not just listening) and the...

Communication Skills: communication with son over baby on the way, parents, worry
parents, worry, anxiety: Hi Gayla - thanks for the articulate, clear question. I surely understand your worry. It sounds like you have at least four problems: 1) you and your husband learning about the lethal [psychological wounds + unawareness] cycle, and alerting the kids to...

Communication Skills: continuing ed, advanced education, learning
advanced education, learning: Hi Rick - I applaud your ambition to learn and advance. I don t know what subjects are covered to get an AA (or BA - Bachelor of Arts?)degree these days. Your best bet is to ask your question of an advisor at Kaplan and/or Phoenix and study the range of courses...

Communication Skills: Feeling not literate enough, self doubt, shame
self doubt, shame, low self esteem: Hi Natasha - feeling inferior may indicate that you have inherited the common psychological wound of excessive shame: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm You can work at two things to feel better: 1) reduce your...

Communication Skills: how to become bold and straight forward?
Communication Skills: how to become bold and straight forward?

Communication Skills: critical skills, think, thinking
think, thinking, criticaal: Hi Rick - Three aspects of critical thinking are (a) your focus and concentration (vs. distraction); (b) your inductive and deductive reasoning (logic), and (c) your style of problem solving. Knowledge, vocabulary, and memory play big parts too. Trouble...

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Communication-Skills-3928/2010/12/Sexual-tension-air-1.htm


http://en.allexperts.com/q/Communication-Skills-3928/2010/12/Sexual-tension-air.htm


Communication Skills: Body Language of Fear or Attraction, language of fear, crossing legs
language of fear, crossing legs, laptop screen: Dear Derrick, Please allow me first to apologize in my delayed response to your post. I had technical issues with the mail delivery system, nevertheless, let us address your concerns and issues. The first rule of thumb in Body Language is you must read...

Communication Skills: communication, oversensitivity, reality distortion
oversensitivity, reality distortion, misperception: Thanks for adding some detail. I now suspect the main problem may be you re over-concerned with other people s responses to you and have come to EXPECT (assume) their disbelief. For instance, I don t know may mean exactly that, not I don t believe you....

Communication Skills: hurtful and harsh statements from loved one, mother, disrepectful adult daughter
mother, disrepectful adult daughter, options: Hi Cathleen - thanks for the question. Is your daughter rude with (insensitive to) other people, or just you? If her style is to be blunt and hurtful with many people, she may be psychologically wounded - http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm. If so your options are...

Communication Skills: Loneliness and depression, depression, loneliness
depression, loneliness, wounds: Hi Larissa - you describe a difficult problem. Your challenge seems to be overcoming your fears of (a) being hurt by - and (b) boring - other people, and (c) depression, not communication. First, I wonder if you really were depressed, or if you were...

Communication Skills: looking in to the eyes and smiling, non-verbal communication, smiling
non-verbal communication, smiling, staring: Dear J: Thank you for your inquiry regarding paralanguage listening. I think you know the answer on this one because I can feel you smiling yourself. The eyes can smile as much as the mouth; both are positive non-verbal cues. However, there is context...

Communication Skills: Opportunity, self study course, interesting marketing
self study course, interesting marketing, full disclosure: Hi again - I scanned your site, and am impressed at the scope of what you re trying to do. I m not interested in public speaking, but have studied effective inner-personal and interpersonal communication for 40 years. The communication articles on your site...

Communication Skills: what to say to my ex?, married man, flirty
married man, flirty, peron: Dear Dana, I or anybody else does not have the right to judge anybody. We each have our own personal life to live, but I do have a question for you. I am not sure of your question. Are you asking me what order the write the reason why I feel like I...

Communication Skills: IT IS COMPLICATED, precious little girl, ill intentions
precious little girl, ill intentions, complicated question: Dear Aya, Please excuse my typo in your name in my last message. Sometimes, it is late at dark at night when I get a chance to respond. However, I am not sure if you distance you speak of is from your fiance or your relationship with your boyfriend....

Communication Skills: Communication, shyness, high school
shyness, high school, popularity: Hi Drake - Sounds like you have several problems: (a) talking more easily with other kids (b) being more popular (liked), and (c) feeling shy with your classmate. Suggestions: 1) Read the short book Zen and the Game of Inner Tennis - and apply its wisdom...

Communication Skills: Communication, questions, listening
questions, listening, shyness: Hi Drake What a great question. My immediate thought in answer to your question was: instead of worrying about being interesting , concern yourself with being interested . Asking others questions is a way of starting a conversation without feeling you have...

Communication Skills: English grammar, english grammar, conjunctions
english grammar, conjunctions, workload: Greetings Kirupairajah, Thanks for your question. Per the rules of using commas, a comma should be place before the conjunctions but, and, so, nor, for, and or only when they connect two sentences. Your sentence can be worded as follows: Is there much...

Communication Skills: Expressing Myself, block, self-conscious
block, self-conscious, freeze: Hi Lexi - thanks for the articulate, interesting question. Seems like there are at least two parts to your puzzle: (a) mentally identifying your thoughts and feelings about yourself, and (b) expressing them comfortably to others. In my experience, most...

Communication Skills: Follow Up To Question Regarding Fear vs Attraction, attraction question, threatening questions
attraction question, threatening questions, nervous smile: Dear Derrick, Thank you for your answering some of my concerns. I then rule out that it sheer nervousness that she might have been attacked since it was neither night time nor a group of males. One may never know at this point, unless you run into her...

Communication Skills: Friends, self issue, new acquaintances
self issue, new acquaintances, guilts: Hi again - If the friends you re talking about are all guys, how do you relate to other women? You may be experiencing a normal diffeence of interests between guys and gals. See this: http://sfhelp.org/cx/gender.htm If you feel shamed and stupid around...

Communication Skills: Telling a Friend His Pet Died, pet, death
pet, death, inform: Hi Mitch - I suspect that if you get quiet, breathe well, and ask yourself what should I say? - and then LISTEN to and trust the first inner voice you hear - you will find your answer. I agree that lying risks damage to your own self-esteem, and the truth...

Communication Skills: communication & technology, communication, kids
communication, kids, parents: Hi Amanda - I don t really know, other than the obvious answer of email, cell phones, and texting. What I do know is that average U.S. parents (a) don t know effective-communication basics themselves, and (b) therefore can t model or teach communication skills...

Communication Skills: Difficult Relationship With A Relative, stepfamily, stepmother
stepfamily, stepmother, stepson disrespect: Hi T.B. - your stepfamily story is very familiar to me. You have several concurrent problems: (1) your husband apparently sides with his son over you and denies it - perhaps out of guilt - a loyalty conflict and discount; See these: http://sfhelp.org/relate/mtes/priorities.htm,...

Communication Skills: Love, initial answer, dark winter
initial answer, dark winter, spring is in the air: Dear David, I am glad your past issue worked-out and truly glad to hear from you again. To me David, it sounds like spring is in the air. This is truly the time of the year where you begin to feel lighter than the dark winter and eager to make new relationships....

Communication Skills: survey about sport and communication, physical education department, communication question
physical education department, communication question, survey model: Hi again. I propose that communication among athletic players, coaches, and supporters is no different than with any other group of people. If you follow the link I sent you last time, you ll find over 30 articles on aspects of effective communication among...

Communication Skills: thinking, listening, confidence
listening, confidence, self-esteem: Hi Aima I think that everyone sometimes feels they do not have confidence. I would say that the best thing to do is to listen to people. Don t worry about feeling you have to speak and say clever things all the time. Just listen to people and speak back...

Communication Skills: Work problem with coworkers, apology, threat
apology, threat, boss: Hi Bob - I can understand your anxiety. From your description, you have little control of the two guys and whether they follow thru with their threat. The only option I can think of is to approach them and apologize sincerely for your cooperating with the...

Communication Skills: NOT EASY, parents, conversation
parents, conversation, talking: Cameron Great question! :-) Your parents won t always be the best people to talk to about everything. Many things, yes, but not everything. Learning to find other people to talk to about things will help you as you get older. I m not sure how old you are...

Communication Skills: NOT EASY, reason kids, intimate life
reason kids, intimate life, lack of communication: This is due to how you are raised. If you are raised with always being open and never being judged, you will be able to talk to one of your parents (your mother is almost always the easier choice). There are things, such as sex or love, that you may be...

Communication Skills: NOT EASY, parents, strangers
parents, strangers, confidence: Hi Cameron - a very common question - even for adult kids! The answer begins with the reality that people won t talk to others whom don t seem SAFE (right?). Often *unsafe* people will criticize, lecture, ignore, ridicule, interrupt, use sarcasm, not listen...

Communication Skills: friendships/taken for granted, overnice, passivity
overnice, passivity, assert: Hi again, Mike - I m unclear on what you want to curb/counteract. I doubt you want to be less of a nice guy. My sense from what you write is that you might be more socially attractive if you were less passive and more outspoken about your needs, feelings,...

Communication Skills: ineed to know this plyz, deaf person, blind man
deaf person, blind man, braille: Dear Godfrey, Thank you for your inquiry, however, I am perplexed. Just because the person is blind, you are assuming that they are deaf? Please expound further on your question for an informed answer. Is the deaf person also mute? Is the bind person...

Communication Skills: Jealousy, jealous, friend
jealous, friend, hurt: Hi Abhinav. I suggest there is nothing you can do to change his insecurity except feel compassion for it. See this: http://sfhelp.org/pop/prayers.htm You CAN do somethin g about his behavior toward you.. Get very clear on what you need from him....

Communication Skills: Oversharing???, women, sexism
women, sexism, friendship: Hi Abhinav, I m going to assume that your friends are making remarks about women that are inappropriate since you said you felt it was disrespectful. They could possibly objectifying them and talking about them in sexual ways or just about their body parts...

Communication Skills: Seeking better relationship with mom., codependence, mom
codependence, mom, mother: Hi Mike - I m not clear on what you need. Sounds like you (1) want her to listen better, (2) be less hypocritical, and (3) want to confront her codependence. An effective way to improve listening is to ask for hearing checks - i.e. periodically ask...

Communication Skills: 14yr old bi-sexual, internet predators, experimental time
internet predators, experimental time, thinking about sex: Hi Walter, Well firstly, your son thinking about sex and even considering he s bisexual at 14 isn t abnormal or too young. It may not have occurred to you at 14, but it s normal for his age (and even younger). You also seem a bit confused since you...

Communication Skills: Should I approach my boss?, boss question, contract job
boss question, contract job, hot sun: Hi Claire That s not a decision I can make for you. If you think an awkward two weeks is the likely outcome and you d rather avoid the risk of that than deal with the things that have been concerning you then no reason to ask him. The level of importance...

Communication Skills: Should I approach my boss?, boss question, contract job
boss question, contract job, hot sun: I m saying (a) either ask him if hew has a problem with your work, and/or (b) tell him *respectfully* specifically how his behavior is affecting you. I propose that the real issue here is your self-respect and integrity. How will you feel about yourself if...

Communication Skills: Boundaries & Communication, communication question, self esteem issues
communication question, self esteem issues, adam and eve: You re very welcome! :) The fact that they ve had the longest relationship ever (for both of them) really has no bearing on your choices. It could explain why Adam is flirting though. Maybe he feels the marriage card looming and he freaked out a bit....

Communication Skills: Too many birthday parties, birthday parties, acquaintance
birthday parties, acquaintance, birthday party: Hi K.M.E., Too many birthdays and too much money spent. I understand the feeling! Regardless of whether or not you feel that this acquaintance is being selfish or not and regardless what you choose to do for your kids, the bottom line is that she s...

Communication Skills: body language question, language question, question question
language question, question question, attractive girl: From what you re describing, this officer found you attractive. Guys, when walking together, when one catches the eye of an attractive girl, he acknowledges her, then (almost as if to brag or show off), alerts his partner of his new find (being you). So...

Communication Skills: Communication with a friend, home renos, husband fred
home renos, husband fred, handy person: Hi Shelly, Who asked the friend to do the work? Did you ask or did your husband? Depending on who solicited him for the work, that s the person who should be asking when do you think you can get this done? You have a few choices. You can either...

Communication Skills: how to cope with my brother, relative, disrespect
relative, disrespect, disrtust: Hello Nishant - your question seems to be: How can I (a) get my relative to respect me, and (b) how can I defend myself if he won t change? I don t know enough about your relationship to judge what would motivate him to treat you with more respect (or why...

Communication Skills: How to know if he is cheating?, mail ids, college days
mail ids, college days, hubby: I ll answer your questions in order: Men watching pornography is common. Your husband being into porn isn t a sign of infidelity or lack of intimacy with you. It is also normal for guys to notice thin, skimpy-dressed girls, this is a male s natural response....

Communication Skills: my mother, values conflict, impasse
values conflict, impasse, siblings: Hi Gwen - it sounds like you have a three-way values conflict between you, your brother, and your mother. I wonder if he feels he would be violating his integrity by giving you the ashes. Since you can t *force* him to comply with your wishes, you have (at...

Communication Skills: my mother, rabbi abner weiss, jewish burial
rabbi abner weiss, jewish burial, close proximity: Dear Gwen, Now that you told me that they are not traditional Jewish followers, there is no way to appeal on that front. The other issue is that this is a repeated offense to you and your parents which seems like some sort of control or domination issue....

Communication Skills: need help, communication, kids
communication, kids, children: Hello Sasha - see if these answer some of your questions: http://sfhelp.org/cx/qa.htm http://sfhelp.org/cx/kids.htm The single most important factor (I feel) in effective communication with typical minor kids is the parents intentionally providing...

Communication Skills: need help, sheer entertainment, communication methods
sheer entertainment, communication methods, indoor games: Hi Sasha, You didn t mention in your question how old these children are. My answer would vary depending on if you re working with a bunch of 6 year old children vs. if you were working with 10 and 12 year old children. I d need a little bit more information...

Communication Skills: Shyness and attraction, attraction question, poor lad
attraction question, poor lad, silly fool: Dear Karen, Like I said earlier, it is an old recording that is playing in your head which that was put their by another s reality, not yours. However, after hearing it so much, you like anyone else would tend to believe it and carry that same tune. ...

Communication Skills: What to say to a mean ex boyfriend?, ex, boyfriend
ex, boyfriend, grief: Hi Cara - it sounds like you re having a hard time accepting (grieving) that he doesn t want a relationship with you any more. It also sounds like he - and perhaps you - are carrying some major psychological wounds, which have affected your relationship: ...

Communication Skills: Friend help!, misunderstanding, ambiguity
misunderstanding, ambiguity, friend: Hi Claire - apparently your friend felt disappointed and frustrated that you didn t want what she wanted. She may have mis-read your ambiguous answer as being willing to go. It also sounds like she wasn t empathic about how tired you were after work, and...

Communication Skills: Friend help!, high school classmate, communication breakdown
high school classmate, communication breakdown, going to a party: Hi Claire, This situation happens a lot. It s just a result of assumptions and a communication breakdown. Could your communication with your friend been better? Yes. Could hers have been better with you? Yep. She asked you to go to this party and...

Communication Skills: My father acts like a child., choice of words, subconscious
Communication Skills: My father acts like a child., choice of words, subconscious, anger

Communication Skills: My father acts like a child., father acts, beat of my own drum
father acts, beat of my own drum, raising your voice: Hi Meg, It seems like what s going on here is that your dad has some emotional problems going on. It s apparent he has some anger issues and that he s in denial about them, or at bare minimum, he just doesn t think there s anything wrong with him--He really...

Communication Skills: friendships, friendship, relationship
friendship, relationship, intimacy: Hi Ann I was quite touched by your question. You ve mentioned a few times in the last few sentences that you feel others may be judging you but I wonder if they are judging you as much as you seem to be? There may be good reason why you haven t wanted...

Communication Skills: mom age 84 me age 55, car mom, nasty things
car mom, nasty things, mama mia: Dear Debbie, Thank you for your inquiry however I am a little perplexed to the exact question. Is it how to communicate with your mother? There are many issues at play. One has your Mother always been like this with you - putting your self-esteem low?...

Communication Skills: Nursery and a child's language skill?, child, nursery
child, nursery, language skills: Hello Victor - I vote for age 4 for two reasons. The more compelling one is that kids removed from their parents at a young age often feel abandoned (despite competent nursery supervision), and can develop serious psychological problems. The other is your...

Communication Skills: need help, kids, children
kids, children, communicate: 1) use friendly eye contact 2) get on their level vs. talking down to them 3) model and teach empathic listening 4) model and teach respectful assertion 5) model and teach effective win-win problem-solving 6) expect kids to *test* adult rules,...

Communication Skills: Over-protective mother, vietnamese catholics, pre marital sex
vietnamese catholics, pre marital sex, mom and dad: Hi Kim, Wow. Sounds like you have your hands full! After reading your question, some major recurring points kept sticking out. First and foremost being the wording of she won t let me. Now I know she s your mom, but you are a legal adult and from...

Communication Skills: Talking to the kids..., addiction, mother
addiction, mother, stepsons: Hello Tish - I commend you and your partner for trying to provide the best care you can for the kids in a VERY difficult situation. To begin answering your question, I suggest you and your husband read these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm and http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: body language question, language question, question question
language question, question question, attractive girl: From what you re describing, this officer found you attractive. Guys, when walking together, when one catches the eye of an attractive girl, he acknowledges her, then (almost as if to brag or show off), alerts his partner of his new find (being you). So...

Communication Skills: brother, improving interpersonal communication, understanding communication conflicts
improving interpersonal communication, understanding communication conflicts: Hi Gwen, As a speech/language pathologist and business communication specialist, my expertise is really in the area of speech/diction, accent, and language rather than in the more personal area of communication conflict that you describe in your letter....

Communication Skills: Something I Dont Understand, achievement,
achievement, , unacknowledge: Dear Jordan, Thank you for your inquiry regarding family communication. I would like to congratulate you on your outstanding achievement. Without even mentioning the brain surgeries, it is a remarkable feat winning 5 awards and 1 gold medal. You have...

Communication Skills: My Family vs I, abandonment, family
abandonment, family, disrespect: Hi Jordan - I m sad to read that your family seems to ignore (disrespect) you. Because I don t know your family situation, I don t know why they would do that to you. Have you tried asking them why they do this - and/or telling them how it feels? Maybe if...

Communication Skills: My Father, conflict resolution, finding dialogue
conflict resolution, finding dialogue, : Hi William, You re describing a difficult communication behavior, and one which you appear to understand pretty well. And to be perfectly honest, I don t think there s any easy answer to resolving the way your dad communicates, which may reflect a temperamental...

Communication Skills: hi question, touching, non verbal
touching, non verbal, work: Hello, Jessi - it can mean many things, depending on genders, length and type of relationship (acquaintance, coworker, new friend, old friend), ages, work roles and ranks, the context (eg consoling vs acknwledging or kidding). Without knowing variables like...

Communication Skills: How can I get my stepdaughter to open up?, mental illnesses, stepkids
mental illnesses, stepkids, gwc: Yes. You and other family adults learn as much as you can about functional stepfamilies and how to provide what typical stepkids need. http://sfhelp.org/fam/health.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/guide7.htm And learn and model empathic listening with her...

Communication Skills: 14 y/o son, body language, expression
body language, expression, eye contact: Hi Scott- it sounds like YOU have the problem, not your son. The challenge you adults face is offering help when your son doesn t want help. This may have turned into a power struggle among you three, in which the original issue (better body language) is lost....

Communication Skills: 14 year old son, verbal communicators, happiness sadness
verbal communicators, happiness sadness, honest emotions: Dear Scott, Thank you for your inquiry regarding your 14 year old son. It is always difficult to transmit advice without knowing or interviewing a certain client, so I will give you both ends of the spectrum and open some ideas for you and your wife. ...

Communication Skills: Body language
Bob; Okay, this is a common gesture made by girls when they are nervous or anxious. It being a first date, this is understandable. She fidgets with her zippers. The unzipping wasn t a sexual innuendo, it was her simply finding the zipped-up jacket...

Communication Skills: building rapport through non-verbal communication, verbal communication skills, social networking site
verbal communication skills, social networking site, sudden outburst: Dear P.K., Sorry for the slight delay in my response, for I had to extend my stay in D.C. for more days than anticipated due to being bumped from my flight. I do apologize, however, on another note, I am glad that you are being so proactive in your situation....

Communication Skills: child abuse, child abuse, neglect
child abuse, neglect, lying: Hi Philip - child abuse and early neglect usually cause some mix of psychological wounds . Once admitted, they can be intentionally reduced over time: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/personality.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/false_self.htm...

Communication Skills: Friend not listening to advice, friend, feedback
friend, feedback, trust: Hi Connie - I suggest the first thing you do is ask her if she wants relationship advice. If not, offering it can feel like an insult, because it implies I know how you should run your life and you don t. The biggest gift you can offer each other (besides...

Communication Skills: help on Business and general communication, communicate, communication
communicate, communication, skills: Hello P.K. - your passion comes thru clearly in what you write. I recommend: 1) assess yourself for psychological wounds. They can cause low self esteem (shame), fears, and difficulty empathizing and communicating with others: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm...

Communication Skills: Internal Citation in Paragraphs (Not sure where to put this), intext citations, analytical paragraph
intext citations, analytical paragraph, mla apa: Dear Mykal, Thank you for your inquiry regarding internal citations. However, this is about communication skills and not so much as English grammar, writing and composition skills. There are several styles of writing a paper such as MLA, APA and Chicago...

Communication Skills: what does it mean when some one, regional difference, personal basis
regional difference, personal basis, gestures: Dear Jessi, Thank you for your inquiry. In the United States, it means that they are wishing you well and for no harm to come to you. Now, I am not sure if there is a regional difference between US and Canada since it is not uncommon for some sayings...

Communication Skills: Shyness, emotional pain, chase
emotional pain, chase, fear: Philip; Okay, this is a very broad question, and there are many answers to this, so I will try my best. A fear of people is usually something that is rooted pretty deep into someone, and it can consume your life if you don t control it. Fearing...

Communication Skills: if some one says, warmth, phrase
warmth, phrase, survival: Dear Jessi, Thank you for your inquiry regarding the particular phrase Are you keeping warm? Warmth is a comfort and is sometimes necessary for survival. Therefore, when someone is asking are you keeping warm, they are basically asking you are you keeping...

Communication Skills: communication, disabled communication strategy
disabled communication strategy: Hi Hilda - I m not clear what you re asking - mentally disabled people? Physically? Generally, effective communication attitudes (mutual respect) and strategies are the same for anyone: http://sfhelp.org/cx/basics.htm Strategies for difficult people:...

Communication Skills: Communication in Relationships, relationship, male
relationship, male, female: Hi Cameron - you apparently are benefitting from the best in male-female relationships. I suspect her attitude and behavior makes you feel respected, liked, valued, admired, and safe, vs. stressed. A long-term goal can be to feel good and relaxed with...

Communication Skills: Ex Boyfriend, doubt ex-partner communication trust attraction
doubt ex-partner communication trust attraction : Hi Pam - the only one who s judgement of you matters is yourself. If you may keep encountering him and want some closure, why not say hello ? I propose the real issue is your distrusting your own judgement here. Get undistracted, breathe well, and ask yourself...

Communication Skills: Girlfriend Problems., girlfriend problems, facebook
girlfriend problems, facebook, mystery: Dear Kodi, Sorry for the delay but I was in a seminar all last week. Anyhow, it seems that you are moving in the right direction. Take care of yourself by removing all negative energy and let her see the person she initially fell in love. Only time will...

Communication Skills: positive reinforcement, psychology interest, positive reinforcement
psychology interest, positive reinforcement, communication psychology: Dear AJ, Thanks for your inquiry. Living in a toxic environment does play havoc with your emotions and can create neurotoxins. However, you must know it is impossible to make others change when they do not want to do so. So, I suggest a couple of quick...

Communication Skills: Tone of Voice, flirting and body language, emotional control
flirting and body language, emotional control, voice control: Dear Mike, Sorry for the delay, but I have just received a notice saying from the site administrator, Katie, that your original email was not delivered to me. As far as your follow-up question, it is difficult to tell about the use of hands because sometimes...

Communication Skills: Boyfriend jst shuts down, improving relationships, relationship problems
improving relationships, relationship problems: Hello Terrence, There are essentially two problems here. One is what your boyfriend is doing, and two, how you feel about it. It seems that if your boyfriend spends the whole day being quiet and not talking to you, then spends his time on the phone,...

Communication Skills: communication is hard, stead, bad day
stead, bad day, custodian: My guess is he felt frustrated and disrespected that you ignored his request about the candy - and he didn t know how to express these calmly and respectfully. It s also possaible he was having a REALLY bad day that had nothing to do with you, and he just...

Communication Skills: help, musical keyboard, negative person
musical keyboard, negative person, negative feelings: Hi Alycia, That question is even more interesting than it might appear to be at first glance. On the surface the statement relates to the fact that some people can walk into a room and liven the whole place up just with their attitude. Conversely, a...

Communication Skills: listening, listening, communication
listening, communication: Hello Jessica, Sorry this has taken a few days, I was away longer than I thought I d be. It is a very interesting question isn t it? Why do people say no when you are about to give them something. I can tell by the question that the real question...

Communication Skills: Miscommunication, arab cultures, african cultures
arab cultures, african cultures, cultured person: Hello David, What are the key things one must do to help prevent miscommunication? Great question. One of the first thing that a person must do to prevent miscommunication is realize first of all, that what you say isn t always what a person hears....

Communication Skills: seeking expert on lying, liar lying compulsive pathological dishonest dishonesty truth honesty
liar lying compulsive pathological dishonest dishonesty truth honesty: Hello Sarah - thanks for the inquiry. Your project sound important, and I m glad to contribute. I refer you to this article on (dis)honesty: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/honesty.htm and my YouTube video on pathological liars. http://youtu.be/2qBBKFVxNUI...

Communication Skills: I Want My Husband To Piss On Me, sensitive type, husband don
sensitive type, husband don, washroom: Hi Julie, Well, you ve asked this question in the Communication section of All Experts, so my answer will be leaning towards the communication aspect of your question. As per your underlying question of right/wrong in the affair, my opinion would be...

Communication Skills: I Want My Husband To Piss On Me, sensitive type, husband don
sensitive type, husband don, washroom: Dear Julie, Thank you for your inquiry, however, this is outside of my expertise. Basically, if you wish to have this answered you will need to direct this to a sex or family counselor that not only deals with sexual issues but one of control and dominance....

Communication Skills: why, does he like me, communication
does he like me, communication, opening lines: Hi Jessica, Why do people do what they do? Sometimes it is obvious and sometimes it is not. I certainly don t have a crystal ball that can tell me what his real motivation was. That being said, if we look at what happened in its simplest terms, what was...

Communication Skills: Friend, friend, bad news
friend, bad news, self doubt: Hi Nathan - you should (a) clarify what you feel about this sad news, (b) imagine how your friend feels and what he needs (e.g. empathy, and to know you care), and (c) consider calling him (vs. email, which is too impersonal). Follow and trust your conscience....

Communication Skills: Friend, encouragement card, inappropriate time
encouragement card, inappropriate time, breast cancer: Dear Nathan, Thank you for your inquiry although I am sorry to hear the devastating news for your friend s Mom. Breast Cancer is so prevalent and if it effects one women it affects us all. There may be several reasons as to why your friend did not bring...

Communication Skills: Friendship after, benefit of doubt, social networking site
benefit of doubt, social networking site, enquiring: Good Evening, N , It is nice to hear from you again. Thank you for asking and remembering my family situation. Unfortunately, my Mother, was unexpected taken to the heavens about 6 weeks ago and I have been dealing with those delicate feelings. However,...

Communication Skills: problem communicating to roommate, mommy and daddy, room mate
mommy and daddy, room mate, 7 months: Dear Jen, Thank you for your inquiry regarding your room-mate. As much as you are annoyed, it sounds it is comparable to the amount she is scared and dependent. The best policy I always adhere to is honesty, however, just telling her gently is not enough...

Communication Skills: Communication, mother, daughter
mother, daughter, religion: Hi Ann - your frustration with your Mom comes thru loud and clear. My experience suggests that excessively devout people are survivors of major early-childhood trauma, like abandonment and abuse. Such people inherit up to six psychological wounds from their...

Communication Skills: Communication, prayer and faith, communication question
prayer and faith, communication question, bitter heart: Hi Ann I think that your description is very accurate that the journey from childhood to being an adult is when you no longer need your mother for your answers. Letting go has to be by both sides if it is to be a healthy growth in the relationship. If one...

Communication Skills: Conversation problem, speech, speaking
speech, speaking, converse: Hi - I suspect you have a semi-conscious fear that hinders your speech fluency. Past difficulties may have caused you to EXPECT to have trouble speaking easily, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. You may also have come to fear expected criticism or...

Communication Skills: please help me, medical crisis, mature adult
medical crisis, mature adult, thirties: Dear Val, First please let me apologize for the delay. I have been dealing with a medical crisis with my husband and sometimes it is not possible for me. Anyway, the first thing I want to say is that if this is the first time you are hearing this, then...

Communication Skills: Reading/Vocabulary, read, reading
read, reading, skill: Hi Romain - Four factors that affect reading comprehension are: (1) current distractions, if any; (2) the clarity and coherence of the author; (3) your vocabulary; and (4) your reasoning skills. You can learn to minimize distractions and improve your vocabulary...

Communication Skills: Abusive stepson-Husband allows!, biological mom, women trust
biological mom, women trust, joy of my life: Hi SS Sorry it has taken me a while to respond. The main thing I would observe from what you ve said is that a lot of your energy is going into wishing your stepson/ your husband were different . In situations of difficulty like yours a lot of time can be...

Communication Skills: body-language, tonya reiman, henry h calero
tonya reiman, henry h calero, gabriel grayson: Dear Arjun, Thank you for your inquiry. Remember you only have 7 seconds before someone makes a snap judgement on you. What I write about is for American culture but will give you the basics. The most important is direct eye contact. There is the business...

Communication Skills: Abusive stepson-Husband allows!, similiar situation, alson
Communication Skills: Abusive stepson-Husband allows!, similiar situation, alson, stepson

Communication Skills: A report about communication between parents and children, communicate, communication
communicate, communication, kids: 1) Drawing the line refers to an adult s asserting a behavioral limit or boundary for teen which - if violated - will cause a consequence. When adults aren t clear in asserting their limits, kids (not just teens) get confused. 2) I think average (U.S.)...

Communication Skills: Shaking hands with women, new orleans louisiana, spatial research
new orleans louisiana, spatial research, proxemics: Dear Cal, Thank you for your inquiry regarding handshaking protocol. In a business environment today, a firm handshake, vertically with up and down movement, direct eye contact and a smile is appropriate because in the business world it is considered ...

Communication Skills: HELP -- ASAP for recommendations., wounds, unawareness
wounds, unawareness, therapy: Hi Korinda - your story is familiar to me. It appears you - and probably your husband - have inherited psychological wounds - and you may have unintentionally passed them on to your kids: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm http://sfhelp.org/alert/cycle_map.htm...

Communication Skills: Kids bedtime routine = Spousal frustration, conflict, marital
conflict, marital, values: Hello Jason - from your description, it sounds as tho your wife is pretty rigid and unempathic, and the two of you don t know how to do win-win problem-solving as teammates. She may be a Grown Wounded Child (GWC) in denial of the psychological wounds she...

Communication Skills: just a quick question, ommission, eys
ommission, eys, delayed response: Dear Jessi, I am so sorry for the delayed response, but my Mother died a few days ago. Please accept my apology. As for your question, if it is the person who you knew, be honest and say I didn t recognize you at the distance. Had I known it was you,...

Communication Skills: being teased., mother, son
mother, son, taunting: Hi Tina - You cannot predict or control the other students behaviors. You CAN teach your son how to deal with teasing. - e.g. how to guard his integrity and assert respectful limits. You can also shift your attitude about the kids verbal aggression from...

Communication Skills: An expert opinion, friends, disrespect
friends, disrespect, behavior: Hi Jessica - I m not sure what you re asking. Without knowing more about each of you and your relationship, I d guess (a)she was carrying some major burden you didn t know about, and was over-reactive to your honest feedback; (b) she was offended by the WAY...

Communication Skills: Family, passport documents, immigration authorities
passport documents, immigration authorities, international norms: Apparently the immigration authorities don t feel it s important to know about parents. You d have to ask them to explain this. I don t have enough info to comment on any sociological trend about kids abandoning their parents in old age. Some do, some don...

Communication Skills: what does this mean, compliment, best wishes
compliment, best wishes, conversations: Hi Jessi, thanks for your question. I sort of want to pass this back to you. What do you think it means? Are you believing there is more to what has been said than just a compliment to say you look good ? You believe you don t know them well enough for them...

Communication Skills: Why do others call me stuck up cause I'm shy?, honesty is the best policy, communication situation
honesty is the best policy, communication situation, own skin: Dear Danielle, Sorry for the delay, but I guess my Mother s death has finally hit me and I have been needless to say under the weather, however, as far as your question, sometimes when someone is quiet or shy, others tend to read it as being that one is...

Communication Skills: Why do others call me stuck up cause I'm shy?, stuck up, impression
stuck up, impression, superiority: Hi Danielle - I don t have enough info to give a solid opinion. Some possibilities: 1) people who label you are intimidated by or jealous of you for some reason; 2) your face and body language somehow convey you re feeling superior to (some) others;...

Communication Skills: communicating with difficult students, student, school
student, school, teacher: Hello Sia - this boy s behavior suggests he has had major trauma in his early childhood and has inherited psychological wounds. One common wound is reality distortion which may hinder him from perceive you and your intentions clearly. His hate is probably...

Communication Skills: communication skills, shame, guilt
shame, guilt, communication: Hello, Atif - from what you wrote, I suspect your problem is with self-confidence, not communication. You may have inherited significant shame and fear from your well-meaning ancestors: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/shame.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/fears.htm...

Communication Skills: dealing with Phd friends, going to college, futher
going to college, futher, miracles: Hi Anne, thanks for your question. So you are feeling terrible because you ask your friends to explain what they are talking about? I wonder why this troubles you? You say your friends happen to have gone to college while you did not but are expecting...

Communication Skills: my embarassing friends, friend, behavior
friend, behavior, embarrassing: A place to start is to identify specifically (a) what you feel when her behavior bothers you, and (b) what you need. http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/dig.htm Then reaffirm your (and her) rights as dignified persons: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm...

Communication Skills: I need advice, spare room, regarding your situation
spare room, regarding your situation, classmates: Dear Christina, You are absolutely right. After all, you have no control over your mother s decisions of who, what and when she decides to rent the room. Your friend should not have any ill feelings to you who has absolutely NO control over your mother...

Communication Skills: Communication with Secret Sibling, half-sibling, sibling
half-sibling, sibling, boundary: Hi Nikita - thanks for a very articulate question. My sense is that you re scaring yourself over something you can t predict and can t control (how your half-sister will react to your offer of friendship.) I propose your first responsibility is to your Self,...

Communication Skills: family issues, frustration independence parents job money freedom
frustration independence parents job money freedom : Hi Marcy - I can understand your frustration. One core problem is your finding suitable income to live independently. Another problem is your parents apparently not being willing to problem-solve with you. It sounds like you ve done what you could to resolve...

Communication Skills: is it rude to, being nosey, personal questions
being nosey, personal questions, boundaries: Dear Karly, Thank you for your inquiry. I would have to say that the reason depends on who this person is. If it is a stranger, then they should refrain from probing personal questions which is rude. If it is a friend, although it may be rude or disrespectful,...

Communication Skills: Communicating Beliefs To Somebody, catholic, faith
catholic, faith, belief: Hi Tony - I respect your making your own mind up about religious faith and your wish not to worry your aunt. I propose that you are not responsible for her mental well-being - SHE is. You can thank her for caring, and tell her respectfully you have your own...

Communication Skills: communication, fighting, frustration
fighting, frustration, family: Hi BJ - your description fits a pattern I have seen/heard of MANY times. I m pretty sure your parents are Grown Wounded Children (GWC), and you probably have inherited their psychological wounds and unawareness: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: Credentials for Communication Expert, masters degree in psychology, competency to stand trial
masters degree in psychology, competency to stand trial, clinical psychologists: Dear Dr. Walton, Thank you for your inquiry. I am quite confident that you, as a having the extensive academic background and experience in psychology and counseling, can parlay those skills as a communication mediator in the field of estate planning....

Communication Skills: I need help with my mother, mother, daughter
mother, daughter, stress: Hi Tammy - Your story is sadly familiar to me - both my parents were alcoholic. Your mother sounds like a classic shame-based Grown Wounded Child (GWC) who survived MAJOR trauma herself as a little girl. Your Dad is probably a GWC also, since they (we) tend...

Communication Skills: negativity, confidence, negativity
confidence, negativity, gossip: Hello Preshant - You describe four problems: becoming critical, being influenced by gossipers, self-doubt ( I fear that slowly... )and keeping (conversations away. The first three of these are normal symptoms of being controlled by a well-meaning false...

Communication Skills: positive behaviour, kohlberg s theory of moral development, positive reinforcement
kohlberg s theory of moral development, positive reinforcement, developmental abilities: Dear Beck, Jessie at age 4, according to Kohlberg s Theory of Moral Development, his main motivation is avoiding punishment and the positive reinforcement of reward. The concern is for self - Will I get into trouble for doing (or not doing) it? Right...

Communication Skills: Abusive father, muslim religion, muslim girl
muslim religion, muslim girl, muslim country: Dear Samreen, Thank you for your inquiry. I must say, my heart bleeds for that poor girl. I am to assume that she does not live in the United States, but in a Muslim country? What you are describing is years of mental abuse, albeit, the father is only...

Communication Skills: Explaining my Past, sexual abuse, disclosure
sexual abuse, disclosure, partner: Hello Priscilla - I can appreciate your caution and uncertainty, and endorse your instinct to disclose your situation before any commitment. You have u nothing /u to be ashamed of! I suspect you have several problems to prioritize: 1] assess yourself...

Communication Skills: Explaining my Past, sexual trauma, wonderful guy
sexual trauma, wonderful guy, rest of your life: Dear Priscilla, Thank you for the inquiry. Honesty is the very best policy, and relationships are built on trust and honesty. The beginning of the relationship SETS the tone for the rest of the relationship. If you hold back now, and then eventually...

Communication Skills: Explaining my Past, sexual trauma, wonderful guy
sexual trauma, wonderful guy, heavy burden: Hi Priscilla, I m sorry for what happened to you as a child. I can understand where you re coming from and why you are now tired of wanting to keep it a secret. It s a heavy burden to bear. It s good that you understand what you need right now and what...

Communication Skills: Medical School Dropout, son, parents
son, parents, school: Hi Tom - I m wondering who s idea it was for you to go to medical school - your parents? From your description, it sounds like they are minimizing or discounting your dislike for the studies in their wish for you to have employment and security later. They...

Communication Skills: Neighbor Relationship, hope you have a merry christmas, merry christmas and happy new year
hope you have a merry christmas, merry christmas and happy new year, restraing order: Dear Richard, Thank you for your inquiry and your very thorough presentation of facts. Let s think about a few things before I answer you. First, are you prepared for the consequences. Remember how you felt when your significant other, well was not so...

Communication Skills: Nervous when I have to present at school, knocking knees, laurence of arabia
knocking knees, laurence of arabia, fear of failure: Hi Danielle, I happen to be the president of a Toastmasters chapter, so I know a little about public speaking. So when I tell you that you asked the wrong question, bear with me. It s not about: ...how can I stop my knees and voice from shaking? ...

Communication Skills: Nervous when I have to present at school, fear rejection, neuro linguistic programming
fear rejection, neuro linguistic programming, finger and thumb: Dear Danielle, Thank you for your inquiry, but what you are feeling is natural. Do you know what the second most thing besides death that people are most fearful? Public Speaking. Like everyone, we all want to be liked, accepted and fear rejection. Remember,...

Communication Skills: Nervous when I have to present at school, nervous, fear
nervous, fear, anxiety: Hi Danielle - many people share this problem. It may come because a part of your personality (rather than ALL of you) fears you ll make some kind of mistake and look foolish or dumb to the audience. Here are several ideas that you can experiment with to bring...

Communication Skills: respectful, names, titles
names, titles, self doubt: Hi Jessica - each relationship is different. Some people may appreciate Sir or Ma am as a sign of your respect, and others may be puzzled because it seems formal and impersonal. Regardless of the title or name you use, the key is to feel a sense of mutual...

Communication Skills: Subtle communication, stingy freinds, who owns the problem
stingy freinds, who owns the problem: Hello neighbor to the South! Who Owns The Problem? Could it be that your friend is a vampire...Scratch that! I think, Andrew, that your lack of diplomacy could be a useful tool here. Since your friend is not financially strapped, it s not a real...

Communication Skills: workplace help, anger, miscommunication
anger, miscommunication: Hi Jessica, When a person holds out there hand in order to elicit touch, it is a sign that in spite anything that may have angered him, his interest in you is greater than a momentary mood. I don t think that it is so important what mood you might have...

Communication Skills: Emotional manipulators, relationship, love
relationship, love, uncertainty: Hi DJ - it sounds like your basic question is can I trust her? If you re unsure about what she feels, the problem may be with her, with you, or with both of you. One way of getting clearer on this is to assess each of you for inherited psychological wounds....

Communication Skills: Emtional stress, long distance relationship, time girlfriend
long distance relationship, time girlfriend, relationship work: Hi again - I encourage you to patiently study Lesson 1 here: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm and then decide if you wish to work with a therapist. With the symptoms you describe, I suspect your ex inherited psychological wounds from her parents...

Communication Skills: Im nervous about going to college, going away to college, going to college
going away to college, going to college, wrong person: Hi Danielle, First, let me just reassure you that what you re feeling is totally normal. In fact a lot of kids going away to college feel just like you do. It s starting at a new school all over again, but much bigger and further away! It s normal to feel...

Communication Skills: nervous about college, self fulfilling prophecy, clean slate
self fulfilling prophecy, clean slate, scary place: Dear Danielle, Sorry for the delay, but I had an emergency room situation that they decided to keep me there longer for tests. But anyway, I am better and want to help you with your situations. How wonderful of an opportunity that presents itself to you....

Communication Skills: why do people, having a bad day, bad moods
having a bad day, bad moods, staff memeber: Dear Jessica, Sorry for the delay, but I have been in the hospital. My answer to you is why do people say your name when in a bad mood is that it is easier for them to place the blame on someone else rather themselves. If they did look at their own actions,...

Communication Skills: Rude roommate, disrespect, roommate
disrespect, roommate, shyness: Hi Danielle - your situation sounds u very /u frustrating! If you want it to change, I suggest you need to: 1] identify specifically what you need: e.g. [A] to overcome your dislike of confrontations; and to [B] have your roomie (a) want to respect your...

Communication Skills: Should I tell my best friend her bf made sexual advances to me?, friend lives, sexual advances
friend lives, sexual advances, jerk: Okay, lets get one thing clear right off the bat here. Her boyfriend did not make sexual advances towards you. He, at bare minimum, date-raped you. To take advantage of you while you were drunk and not in any capacity to say yes or no to his advances is...

Communication Skills: is it wrong, relationship, google
relationship, google: Hi - It depends on the person and your relationship. If s/he feels you re checking up on (don t trust) him/her, or if you search without telling her/him, s/he may feel disrespected and wonder if you re trying to get something on them. You always have the4...

Communication Skills: Angry Exchange, t touch, mind reading
t touch, mind reading, arguement: Dear Kay, I m so sorry for your turbulent marriage and for your loss. Even when a relationship has been difficult, it doesn t change the love that you may still feel. I m very sorry about your divorce. It seems that you do recognize that you have issues...

Communication Skills: blending families, stepfamily, blendxed family
stepfamily, blendxed family, ex mate: Hi Talisha - I applaud you for seeking stepfamily info now. I encourage you both to commit to studying and discussing this free online course, based on 32 years research into stepfamily success: http://sfhelp.org/sf/guide.htm Here are several sample articles...

Communication Skills: brother issue, depression drugs, abusive mother
depression drugs, abusive mother, irresponsible behavior: Dear Agnieszka, I m so sorry to hear about your stressful situation. This type of enmeshment and triangulation in a family dynamic is not uncommon. What usually breaks the triangulation is one person moving on, stopping it, pulling away, getting healthy...etc....

Communication Skills: Giving My Father-in-law And Brother-in-law Blowjobs/Oral Sex/Sucking Their Dicks/Sucking Them Off, handjobs, hypocrite
handjobs, hypocrite, last september: Dear Diana, Thank you your for your inquiry, but this is out my expertise. Communicating hurt and pain, needs to be addressed through professional either spiritual or relationship counseling. If that was the take, you giving to them, what was your take?...

Communication Skills: Non-Verbal Communication in Hallways, primacy effect, best case scenario
primacy effect, best case scenario, intimate occasion: Dear Derrick, Sorry for the delay,but recently I have had a bout of illnesses.Intersting enough,your inquiry regads Proxemics, the study and act of distance use to communicate between individuals Proxemics is also a body language tool individuals will...

Communication Skills: okay now, garbage collector, coffee tea
garbage collector, coffee tea, xmas gift: Dear Jenna, Hhhhnn, there seems to be apparent overt actions between you and he, however, with that said, there are many different cues to body language and the signs of love. As a woman, Jenna, one usually feels it in our gut as to if someone is flirting...

Communication Skills: Verbal Abuse, aunties and uncles, chinese singaporean
aunties and uncles, chinese singaporean, assertive behaviour: Dear Huijie, It sounds like not only are you being physically abused, but you re being verbally abused as well! Telling someone they are unlovable, and a numbskull is horrible. There is no way to protect someone from making mistakes. Everyone will make...

Communication Skills: parents are too strict, parents, strict
parents, strict, distrust: Hi Kirah - your situation sounds frustrating. Your deepest problem seems to be low self esteem, which probably DID come from your parents. The good news is that over time, you can learn to improve your self-respect if you choose to: see these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: Public Speaking, fear, college
fear, college, public speaking: Hi Aaron - I admire you re asking for help with this common fear. From what you write, I suspect your home schooling did not foster self confidence, and may have accidentally caused you excessive fear and shame. If so, you can find a way to overcome these...

Communication Skills: Starting conversations, communicate, communication
communicate, communication, initiate: Hi Alex - It s normal for one of any two friends to initiate contact more often. If that pattern is true of u many /u of your friends, then it s possible you have some behaviors that inhibit others initiating with you and no one is telling you. Examples:...

Communication Skills: not spontaneous., confidence, limits
confidence, limits, boundaries: Hello Beenish - the behaviors you describe are common symptoms of inheriting psychological wounds from your ancestors, and being ruled by a well-meaning false self. Learn about these here: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: I can't think on my feet and speak out, self confidence, relate
self confidence, relate, freeze up. assert: Hi Anthony - you re problem is a common one. It probably comes from your being controlled (thru no fault of yours) by a protective false self. : http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/personality.htm ...

Communication Skills: How to deal with, little mystery, new girl
little mystery, new girl, perfect time: Dear DJ, It is obvious that you got her on your own without any help. What I mean is that she fell for you because you were you. The best advice is To be yourself do what you always do. Don t be phoney. She fell in love with you because of you being ourself....

Communication Skills: Difinition of two expressions, learning english as a second language, grammatical accuracy
learning english as a second language, grammatical accuracy, english as a second language: You are quite right, Jesse, that people often use the word may to replace can . However, this is more because of ignorance rather than grammatical accuracy. The word MAY is related to permission to do something while CAN has the sense of ability to...

Communication Skills: Eye contact, eye contact, self image
eye contact, self image: Hi Jordan, Although you made more of a statement than posed an actual question, I will presume to answer what I think it is you are asking. Humans are not very different from some other animals in the significance that our eyes, or more precisely, looking...

Communication Skills: how to improve comm. skill, positive affirmations, talkative person
positive affirmations, talkative person, shy person: Dear Marhzaan Shaikh, Thank you for your inquiry. As you mentioned that you are a highly talkative person, the only problem is you, yourself s mindset. You need some positive affirmations regarding yourself. How do you know what the other person is thinking?...

Communication Skills: Self-expression and communication problems, communicate, communication
communicate, communication, shy: Hello Yani - from your description, your communication problem is a SYMPTOM of the u real /u problem - inherited psychological wounds - specially excessive shame, fears, and reality distortion. See these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: Communicate from a losing position, mathematical question, military situation
mathematical question, military situation, difference of opinion: I hear you Jack, that the topic defies logic. You have presented the classic no-win scenario, and you are waiting for a skillful reply so that you can win. By the very definitions you give, you can t win! Given that, Jack, I am force to conclude that what...

Communication Skills: misinformation and communication, first impressions, misinformation
first impressions, misinformation, embarrassment: Hello N, You are asking a loaded question, and the answer really depends on your motivation. We are all walking around with misinformation , because a lot of the so-called information we receive is not about informing us, rather it is about forming...

Communication Skills: Asian parents and cultural differences, daughter, Asian
daughter, Asian, parents: Hello Claire - it sounds like you are faced with a major values difference with your parents. My sense is the real issue is whether they can accept that you hold different [Western] values, and still respect and love you as their daughter. Because you re...

Communication Skills: Figure of Speech Example., figures of speech, rhetorical devices
figures of speech, rhetorical devices: Hello Prashant, The way that the statement is written, and I have to assume that you paraphrased the speaker, does not use any particular figure of speech. Had the person said: My life is like a two-sided coin, giving me, at the same time, my happiest...

Communication Skills: Strict Parents, strict, parents
strict, parents, teen: Hi Jocelyn - I m guessing you all have at least 3 problems: 1] your parents don t trust your judgment yet about relationships [i.e. sex?], and feel responsible for your safety; 2] they ve made it unsafe for you to tell the truth about your dating; and......

Communication Skills: relationshp, parents, communication
parents, communication, marriage: Hello U - Without knowing more about your situation, I can t suggest any way of improving relations with your parents. If poor communication is part of the problem, see these options: http://sfhelp.org/cx/improve.htm http://sfhelp.org/cx/options.htm...

Communication Skills: Shyness, confidence communication shy shyness public speaking wounds clarity assert assertion listen
confidence communication shy shyness public speaking wounds clarity assert assertion listen : Hi Dylan - the problems you describe are very common. I suspect you have two specific problems: [1] inherited psychological wounds (which cause shyness, low self-confidence, and excessive anxiety), and [2] unawareness of effective thinking, communicating,...

Communication Skills: Female Body Language: Attraction or Fear, body language attraction, female body language
body language attraction, female body language, mechanical position: Hi Dee, Typically the actions that you are describing would be usually be attributed to interest rather than intimidation. The curling of the hair and putting the hair back is the gesture that gives it away. If she looked downward only, it could mean...

Communication Skills: Confused relations with a relative
There is a dangerous slope that people find themselves sliding down sometimes, and that is the slope of trying to behave the way others want you to behave, rather than being you. You ask: How do I behave , and I answer to you, DON T behave...BE. There...

Communication Skills: Godfather meaning., godfather, meaning
godfather, meaning: Hello Prashant - the dictionary meaning is: A godfather is a person that is a sponsor for a child at their baptism. The godfather is the man that would take the father role in a child s life if their father passes away. You can look up the meaning of any...

Communication Skills: Godfather meaning.
Hello Prashant, An adopting father and mother are usually called just that; adoptive parents. That is, an adoptive father and an adoptive mother. Usually the children who have been adopted merely call their parents, mother and father, mom and dad as usual....

Communication Skills: to communicate or not, talkative, child
talkative, child, boundaries: Hi A.M. - a definition of effective communication is each person gets their current needs meet well enough, in a way each person feels good about. A place to start in resolving this problem is to ask yourself Who s needs are most important - my son s,...

Communication Skills: How do i learn to shut up, compulsively talking too much
compulsively talking too much: OK - thanks for your answers. In my opinion, if you want to talk less, you ll have to change some basic things: 1] before you speak in important situations, ask yourself What does the other person need from me From what you wrote, you often [a] assume...

Communication Skills: to re-communicate or to not re-communicate, self doubt, invite
self doubt, invite, assert: Hi Olivia - I cannot know what motivated him to email you. Your invite sounded friendly and clear. His silence IS a response, and can be interpreted in several ways. I propose that your real issue is why you don t trust your own judgment about if, how,...

Communication Skills: How to speak good english, learn, English
learn, English, India: Hello Jousuf - My suggestion is [1] find a good teacher locally; [2] practice reading and speaking out loud every day; [3] search the Web for online English courses in your native language, and [4] have patience and congratulate yourself as you progress. I...

Communication Skills: Public speaking, public speaking, confidence
public speaking, confidence, stutter: Hello Nes. Effective public speaking has several requisites: [1] passion about and knowledge of a topic; [2] a good vocabulary [3] a clear outline of the speech - opening, body, and closing; [4] self-confidence; [5] awareness of the speaking process and the...

Communication Skills: public speaking, self concious, toastmasters group
self concious, toastmasters group, hitting your mark: Hello Nes, I joined a Toastmasters group a number of years ago. I was already a paid speaker, and had spent 4 years on cruise ships giving lectures. The advantage of joining a group, however, is the feedback that you get in the evaluations. No matter...

Communication Skills: biological father overstepping boundries, daughter, biofather
daughter, biofather, stepfather: Hi Dana - it sounds like you have several problems: 1] adjusting to the reality your [psychological] Dad is really your u stepdad /u ; 2] adjusting to your stepdad s relationship shift with you and your Mom; 3] sorting out your feelings about your...

Communication Skills: Counseling job, counsel, counseling
counsel, counseling, choices: Hello - there are many types of counseling, and many schools which provide training. A useful preliminary step is to decide who would you like to work with: kids? Teens? Adults? Older people? Couples? Whole families? The next decision is what type of counseling:...

Communication Skills: Body language, brain waves, sensitive awareness
brain waves, sensitive awareness, strange pattern: Hi Quentin, This is a fun question to answer because within your question is the clue. In your three examples, they would be strange responses i if /i we as entities ended at the end of our skin. We of course do not. We not only receive information from...

Communication Skills: Discontinuing a friendship, road rage, racist remarks
road rage, racist remarks, awkward situation: Hello Cynthia, What an awkward situation! I feel badly for everyone involved and everyone who knows this man. You ve actually got 2 options that I can see. The first is to tell your son that he cannot play with this boy any more and if he asks why,...

Communication Skills: Opening up to my mother about my adoption issues, nancy newton verrier, coming home to self
nancy newton verrier, coming home to self, adoption issues: Hi There, It sounds like your past communication with your mom was very volatile and you recognize that it was. You ve also said that you ve gotten a lot better and learned certain skills in order to help you be patient. All of this is wonderful and a congratulations...

Communication Skills: power, communicate, effective
communicate, effective, authority: Hi Nelson - sounding powerdul and presidential comes from 1] having your true Self guiding you: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/guide1.htm 2] knowing your rights as a dignified person, http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm 3] believing in yourself:...

Communication Skills: Scrabble Word Power Game introduced in Schools., scrabble boards, scrabble games
scrabble boards, scrabble games, scrabble word: Hello Prashant, The elegant attribute of scrabble is that it conforms itself to the level of the players. From the inexperienced student to the skilled logophile, the game allows all skill levels to play with and think about words. So yes,Prashant, I...

Communication Skills: Misunderstanding?, misunderstanding, texting
misunderstanding, texting, communication: Hi Sally, Of course not being a mind reader I can t tell you what happened, but there are certainly ways of finding out. Since you indicated that they are still communicating with other people that you know, it isn t that they are too busy. So, I think...

Communication Skills: hand touch, female coworker, sexual signals
female coworker, sexual signals, nonverbal behavior: Hello bi female, I was impressed with your observation skills, and no doubt you are adept at picking up on the subliminal clues that occur in communication. It could be however, that your problem (and I say your problem in the sense you are moved enough...

Communication Skills: opinion required, expressing your feelings
expressing your feelings: Hi Damien, An interesting question indeed. First of all, it is quite something to have such a strong bond with your wife, as well as the sense she gives you of getting you. In a family, where so much time and responsibility is shared, it is great to...

Communication Skills: sister in law and kids, when your own opinion counts
when your own opinion counts: Hi Maxie, The additional information regarding your father helps to understand your brother s need to replace that authority with the church. Your response was the opposite, to turn away from such authority. So yes, I m saying that when a person is dominated...

Communication Skills: Father-Daughter Communication, father, daughter
father, daughter, parent: Hi Sydney - thanks for your clear description. It suggests that your Dad may be a Grown Wounded Child (GWC) whose inherited psychological wounds inhibit his ability to hear you clearly and problem-solve with you. To understand this, read these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: TALK TO ME, Talking to parents, talking about sex
Talking to parents, talking about sex: Hi Cameron, The answer is yes sometimes it is a fact. Depending on the relationship on has with their parents, subjects such as sex can be difficult. A child s relationship with their parents starts out as an innocent relationship. The parents sees...

Communication Skills: Weird, mother, daughter
mother, daughter, values: Hi Emily - it sounds like you have two or three common problems: [1] a values conflict over peeing while traveling, and [2] an inability to do win-win problem-solving. You mom s not speaking may be a third problem: inherited psychological wounds from early-childhood...

Communication Skills: assertiveness, assert, asserton
assert, asserton, aggression: Erin - I m very sorry for my slow rersponse. I ve been in the hospital with a mojor infection. Stay clear on the difference between aggression, assertion, and intimidation. Aggression occurs when you act to fill your current needs and ignore or discount...

Communication Skills: Christian First Name Meaning., the meaning of christian names, naming children
the meaning of christian names, naming children: Hello Prashant, In times gone by, it was often traditional to give a child a Christian name that would honor a relative, such as the child s grandfather or grandmother. If they were very Christian, they would usually give the child a second or third name...

Communication Skills: missing link
Hello Ibrahim, Of course you must realize that without knowing your mannerisms or the way that you respond to people that I can t exactly tell you why you leave this impression. However, that being said, if you hear something often enough from the people...

Communication Skills: Unable to talk to known peoples when i meet them suddenly outside., can't face people, shy
can't face people, shy, fear of people: Hello Vivek, You are not alone in this. It may surprise you to know that even some of your friends sometimes suffer from this. Your courage in trying to find a solution is important. I can tell by the way the this was written that english is not your...

Communication Skills: Dorm Guy, how do I know if he is interested in me
how do I know if he is interested in me: Hi Jordan, It is very interesting that you sent this to me under the category of Communications, because it is hard to answer the question based on how you communicated it to me. For example: you haven t indicated if you are interested in this guy or not,...

Communication Skills: idioms or collocation?, idioms, collocations
idioms, collocations: Hello Amirah, I would suggest that it would be beneficial for students to have a sample of both. Of the two however, idoms are more confusing, and therefore I would suggest that students become aware of the most common ones. With a collocation, meaning...

Communication Skills: idioms or collocation?, teach, learn
teach, learn, communication: My strong bias is to teach all students common communication basics and seven skills: http://sfhelp.org/cx/qa.htm and http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills.htm. See this for a full course outline: http://sfhelp.org/cx/guide2.htm Further questions are welcome...

Communication Skills: personal life problem
Hi Joy, I will answer you the best I can, and as I believe that I am interpreting your question. I m not sure, but it could be that you used an online translation, because the english is quite confusing. You could always ask someone to clarify your question...

Communication Skills: Cant move on
But still people on earth should mingle a bit more.. Be more open to each other!! Should - maybe a judgement, but I understand without judgement that my life is better, and my world is friendlier precisely because I do mingle a bit more . A number...

Communication Skills: Effective communication at work, assert, assertion
assert, assertion, coworker: Hi David - it sounds like your problem is if and how to preserve your self-respect by asserting boundaries with your co-worker. Start by defining your rights as a dignified, worthy person. You have the right to do this whether you re new at the job or not!...

Communication Skills: Reasonable to Ask for Reimbursement, friend, favor
friend, favor, boundaries: Hi Gina - I think it would be be2tter for both of you if you were honest and respectfully assertive. That might sound like: [Name,] I know at times you need help getting around. I may or may not be able to drive you, so please don t assume I can. If I...

Communication Skills: Is it me..., aggession, assert
aggession, assert, assertion: Hi Lisa - it sounds like you re unclear on and/or unsure about [a] what these three labels refer to; and [b] how to label your own [and others ] behaviors. b Aggression /b occurs when person A seeks to fill her needs without caring about the feelings...

Communication Skills: Clarity
Hi Jordan, I m not sure your predicament is difficult, I think that maybe the solution is quite simple. If you like this guy, or think that you might want to get to know him; why not simply initiate the conversation by saying, Hi . First contact is...

Communication Skills: What to do, relate, relationship
relate, relationship: Hello Jordan - the erratic behavior you describe suggests he is a Grown Wounded Child. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm If this is true, then I encourage you to assess u yourself /u for psychological wounds, for GWC...

Communication Skills: How do i end friendship with this friend?, friend, friendship
friend, friendship, mean: Hello Moi - you have another choice besides cutting him off. Learn to practice respectful u assertion /u and u empathic listening /u : http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/assert.htm and http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/listen.htm. In the first of these, look for ...

Communication Skills: adult child, frustration, communication, mother, daughter
mother, daughter, adult child: Hi Sonja - sorry for the slow response. The REAL issue is her lack of appropriate adult independence. Two possibilities are [1] she is neurologically impaired, and [2] she has inherited psychological wounds promoting childish behaviors. You and she would need...

Communication Skills: Curious, clear questions
clear questions: Hi Jordan, Why does it take guys longer to admit their feelings? First of all that is an assumption that may or may not be true. But lets go with it and answer the question, shall we? It takes guys longer to admit their feelings because it takes...

Communication Skills: Bullying for 6 year old, bullying, young child
bullying, young child, options: Hi Tracy - I applaud you for stepping forward about the bullying. From your description, Ray is being damaged in a dysfu7nctional family by wounded, unaware adults: http://sfhelp.org/fam/cycle.htm. You probably can t change this. The answer tro your son...

Communication Skills: conflict, coworkers, communication skills
coworkers, communication skills, new job: Hello Kim - for effective communication in any setting, patiently learn to practice the seven skills in this free online lesson http://sfhelp.org/cx/guide2.htm For an overview of helpful options, see this: http://sfhelp.org/cx/improve.htm Specifically,...

Communication Skills: Rude or Angry Customers, rude people, respond
rude people, respond, options: Try these: 1] draft a personal Bill of Rights like this example: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm 2] Learn how to use empathic listening - it often defuses rude people: http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/listen.htm 3] Choose from these...

Communication Skills: NICE BOY, what are they thinking
what are they thinking: hi Cameron, It may not be due to impoliteness, and I can think of a few reasons for people doing this. Maybe your friend simply forgotten needs a reminder, maybe they are disorganized and just haven t gotten around to it, and maybe in the end they just...

Communication Skills: Self confidence, self confidence, assert
self confidence, assert, assertiveness: Hello Jem - It sounds like you did not get some important needs met (like self confidence and healthy pride, and assertion skill). As a result, you have suffered a lot. I suspect your grandparents, parents, and you siblings are all Grow3n Wounded Children...

Communication Skills: stammer, stammering, disfluency
stammering, disfluency, stutter: Hello Zain, There is certainly a big difference between a stammer and disfluency. Since the speech therapist seems to think that you have the latter and not the former I ll try to deal with that. As a Division Governor for Toastmasters International, I...

Communication Skills: improvement of speech, Learning English
Learning English: Hello Asoka, Being able to speak with great proficiency in a second language requires understanding the idioms and collocations of the language. Look up those two terms and learn them. What confuses most new speakers of a language are the expressions...

Communication Skills: a question about studying, self confidence, self esteem
self confidence, self esteem : Hello Jane - It sounds like your key problems are low self esteem and lack of self confidence. Both of those can be greatly reduced over time! See these for ideas: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/confidence.htm and http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/shame.htm If...

Communication Skills: TALK TO ME, text vs. phone
text vs. phone: Hi Cameron There are many people who choose to email or text rather than speak face-to-face, or pick up a phone. It might be too strong to say they won t speak to people directly, but it is true that many people choose to text or email instead. There...

Communication Skills: friend, friend, friendship
friend, friendship, frustration: Hi Toy - I suggest you evolve a bill of pers0onal rights - like this one: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm. Then use it to compose an assertive I-message to this person to express your feelings respectfully ( smoothly ): http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/assert.htm....

Communication Skills: PASS THE PASSEL, self doubt
self doubt: Cameron, I propose the REAL question is Why don t I (you) trust my own judgment on this question? In my experience, people who doubt their own wisdom or decisions are often survivors of significant early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse (trauma)....

Communication Skills: Abusive parents, family, violence
family, violence, aggression: Family violence usually indicates that (1) the adults have inherited psychological wounds, and (2) don t know how to do win-win problem-solving. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm - http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm http://sfhelp.org/cycle.htm (Option -...

Communication Skills: Disabled family, abused, forgiveness
abused, forgiveness, letting go: Hello Ashtyn, I would have liked to know your age because it would have helped me in this answer; however, I will tell you something that is important at whatever age you are. First of all it is important that you wrote to me and said what you did. You...

Communication Skills: angry letter from neighbor, confliuct resolution
confliuct resolution: I encourage you to (1) review your (and her) personal rights, (b) make contact with an open mind - ideally in person; (c) clarify her and your respective needs; and (d) try win-win pr3oblem solving: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/dig.htm...

Communication Skills: problems, unfriendly at work
unfriendly at work: Hi Ashley, First of all I appologize for taking so long to get back to you. Usually, I get a notification that I have a message, but for some reason, I was not notified. Why do people talk to you & then get you in trouble? Why indeed! Ashley, there...

Communication Skills: Selfish?
Communication Skills: Selfish?

Communication Skills: Selfish?, support, disabled
support, disabled, parent: Hi Ashtyn - without knowing the extent of your Mom s disability, I can t judge whether your request of her is reasonable or not. There are many jobs (e.g. sales) that can be filled at home via phone and/or computer. I empathize with your wanting to focus...

Communication Skills: UNTITLED, friend or not
friend or not: Hi Cameron, All your questions are based on one simplified version of them all; How can I get respect from my friend? If you have to ask me all these questions then I can assume that your freind is showing a lack of respect for you, and maybe he...

Communication Skills: problems communicating with my mother
Communication Skills: problems communicating with my mother

Communication Skills: Insulting comments from friend, aggression, egotism
aggression, egotism, arguing: Hi Gary - you have a right to your feelings: http://sfhelp.org/relate/keys/rights.htm I suspect that your friend is unaware of being ruled by an insecure false self http://sfhelp.org/gwc/personality.htm Choose from any of these communication strategies...

Communication Skills: problems communicating with my mother, relate, relation
relate, relation, relationship: Hi Harold - It sounds as tho your Mom is a Grown Wounded Child (GWC) http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm // http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/1_traits.htm // http://sfhelp.org/cycle.htm If so, see these ideas on relating to her:...

Communication Skills: gift problem, hurt, friend
hurt, friend, unwanted gift: Hi Starr - I propose that your thanking her for her birthday acknowledgement and being honest with her about the purse will protect your integrity and strengthen your friendship overall. If she really is a friend, she will understand and overcome any disappointment....

Communication Skills: Relationship issues - long distance, relate, relationship
relate, relationship, uncertainty: Hi Harley - I respectfully suggest your u real /u issue is why you distrust your own judgment in this situation? From your description, I suggest you check to see if your guy is a Grown Wounded Child (GWC): http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm // http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: how to deal with a child that is being used by a friend, friend, friendship
friend, friendship, reject: Hi Ely - I respectfully acknowledge your empathy for your son. I suggest using this situation as a teaching/learning opportunity. Teach him on a child s level about these topics: http://sfhelp.org/relate/friendship.htm http://sfhelp.org/relate/rejection.htm...

Communication Skills: Loner query, loner, anxiety
loner, anxiety, discomfort: Hi Gerald. You have several options: 1} Learn to be more confidant and comfortable around people so you don t have to repel them; You can do this by adopting a long-range view and (a) healing psychological wounds you may have inherited: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Communication Skills: i get bullied by everyone i meet, self confidence, boundaries
self confidence, boundaries, bullying: Hi Ana - you can learn to believe in yourself and to define and assert your rights and boundaries as a dignified, worthy woman with other people. See these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm // http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/selflove.htm...

Communication Skills: Solve a problem !, sexuality, homosexuality
sexuality, homosexuality, gay: It s normal for kids to explore their and other kids genitals, and doing so does not make them gay. Pay attention to who and what arouses you sexually now - that s the best indicator of your current sexual preference. You can (a) research what causes homosexuality?...

Communication Skills: Wayward son, relate, relationship
relate, relationship, parent: Hi Bud - Reading your (familiar) story, I feel sad for all of you, Your story is a classic example of the toxic [psychological wounds + unawareness] cycle passing down the generations. To understand this, read these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Communication Skills: Win-Win: When Impossible, win win, outcomes
win win, outcomes, conflict: Hi Yaakov. In my opinion, win-win is a desirable communication u outcome /u in a conflictual situation. not a tool. To achieve this goal, all people involved must (1) respect each other s needs and feelings equally, (2) know their current needs, and...

Communication Skills: Should I even continue this?
Hi Sadie, I think you answered your own question when you said this: ...he is not the person I thought he was, nor is he the type of person I want to be with. Stick to your intuition on this guy. Being with him to ease the wounds from your other long-distance...

Communication Skills: should i give him a time limit to contact me
Communication Skills: should i give him a time limit to contact me

Communication Skills: should i give him a time limit to contact me
Well it looks like even if he is just extremely shy, it s a turn off for you, so it s better that you move on. Even if he isn t shy and it s something else, out of simple respect he should have given you some sort of explanation or answer. I m sorry it didn...

Communication Skills: I see my younger brothers friend and my brother as well?
Hi there, I don t think there s anything wrong with taking Luis under your wing and treating him like a brother at all. You never know how much of a positive impact you re having on him. You could be his lifeline and I m sure it s greatly appreciated. ...

Communication Skills: Difficult friend / FOLLOWUP
Yes, I wasn t sure how you had originally approached him. It was either compassionately or it wasn t, but I wasn t clear on that. After hearing more detail from you, it sounds like he s very cut off from his emotions and it also sounds like he doesn t have...

Comparative Islam: Divinity Of Jesus (peace be upon him), muslim creed, titles of jesus
muslim creed, titles of jesus, jesus is god: Dear Yahya, Thank you for your question. I would like to answer it by first asking you some questions if you kindly permit: Is the Muslim Creed, known as Kalimah unambigiously found in the Quran? Is not the whole sentence put together from two different...

Comparative Islam: Islam, quran translations, arabic bible
quran translations, arabic bible, belief in allah: Dear Paul, Thanks for your question. The short answer ist: In Christianity, as contrasted with Islam, God is longing for a personal relationship, caring about where we will spend eternity, binding himself to his word through a covenant and coming to men...

Comparative Islam: islam, relationship with god, hadees
relationship with god, hadees, injeel: Peace be with you! Thanks for your question. My expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding the Christian view of Christianity and its teaching. I answer questions about Jesus, the Injeel, Zabur, Torah, how to get forgiveness, or...

Comparative Islam: Judiasm and christianity, surah al baqarah, islam christianity
surah al baqarah, islam christianity, prophet mohammed: Walaikum Salaam, Thank you for the question. Allah says in the Quran in Surah Al Baqarah (2.146) Those whom We have given the Book(Jews and Christians) recognize him(Prophet Mohammed) as they recognize their sons, and a party of them most surely conceal...

Comparative Islam: kindly please read my following question and inform me what does your religion says about my queries?, eunuchs, christian perspective
eunuchs, christian perspective, injeel: Peace be with you! Thanks for your question. However, as clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding the Christian view of Christianity and its teaching. I answer...

Comparative Islam: Quran and the Bible, answering islam org, biblical accounts
answering islam org, biblical accounts, adam and eve: Dear Jason, Your question is very long and I am afraid you will have to do the research yourself. However, I can give you two websites where you will find your answers: www.christianityexplained.net www.answering-islam.org I trust you will understand....

Comparative Islam: More Follow-Up, answering islam org, contradictions in the quran
answering islam org, contradictions in the quran, contradictions in the bible: Peace to you. I do repeat myself at times because I believe you have not understood what I am saying. You wrote: Based on your earlier comments, that Muslim preachers should not talk/teach Christianity and vice-versa, believing www.answering-islam.org...

Comparative Islam: Question for you, jesus the messiah, sons of the dessert
jesus the messiah, sons of the dessert, god jesus: Peace to you! Thanks for your good questions. You asked: Why did he have to die, couldn t he just wave his hand, pull in all the world s evil aura/forces and then simply bid good bye? I get the point you are trying to make - for the sins of mankind,...

Comparative Islam: Quran surah, answering islam org, hadith
answering islam org, hadith, silas: Dear Ramiro, Thanks for your question. It is very important to study this verse in its context and in the light of what the hadith and Muslim commentators are saying: Here are a few links which do exactly that and I would encourage you to study them...

Comparative Islam: Muhammad, day of judgement, teachings of islam
Comparative Islam: Muhammad, day of judgement, teachings of islam, pbuh

Comparative Islam: Muhammad, jesus christ pbuh, prophet mohammed
jesus christ pbuh, prophet mohammed, verses from the bible: Peace and Blessings of God Almighty be on you Don and thank you for the question. I would like to correct you if I may. Not many muslims but almost all muslims believe that Jesus(Peace be upon him) is the Christ and a great prophet. There are ample references...

Comparative Islam: Convert Hindu to Islam, almighty allah, muslim girl
almighty allah, muslim girl, teachings of islam: Peace blessings and Mercy of Almighty God be on you Santosh, Thank you for the question. First things first, there is only one reason/purpose for which you can change your religion and that is to please and make Almighty Allah(God) happy. This should be...

Comparative Islam: The word "Injeel", new testament, greek word
Comparative Islam: The word "Injeel", new testament, greek word, revelation

Comparative Islam: One More Follow-Up, prophets of god, good role models
prophets of god, good role models, junus: Thanks for your reply. Regarding: 1) Yes, prophets of God were generally chosen by Him based on their morals. However, the fact that the Bible also tells us about the occasions when they failed teaches us by itself the following moral: God uses ordinary...

Comparative Islam: Stop!!, mail correspondence, islam section
mail correspondence, islam section, christian scriptures: Hi Mohammed, Thanks for your reply. Do you not think that it is possible for a book to contain both, truth and things that are not true? I can think of many books like that. I believe that what the Quran says here is true: And if thou wert in doubt as...

Comparative Islam: The word "Injeel", codex sinaiticus, beliefs of christianity
codex sinaiticus, beliefs of christianity, hebrew title: Walaikum As Salaam Navid, This question is outside my area of study as I have concentrated mainly on the beliefs of Christianity V/s Islam. A few points I would however like to make in regard to your statements.. The original Greek versions of...

Comparative Islam: change in religion, mail correspondence, islam section
mail correspondence, islam section, christian scriptures: Peace to you! Thanks for your message. However, as clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding the Christian view of Christianity and its teaching. I answer questions...

Comparative Islam: quest, muslim converts, muslim man
muslim converts, muslim man, religion column: Hi Gaurav, Peace and Blessings be on you.. Islam is a religion which is formed on the firm basis of logic, reason and science. I am not demeaning either, but unlike other religions Islam is not dogmatic. We dont believe because we have to, we believe...

Comparative Islam: A questions, mail correspondence, islam section
mail correspondence, islam section, academic scholarship: Peace to you. Thanks for your message. As clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding Jesus, the Injeel, Zabur, Torah, how to get forgiveness, or the perspective...

Comparative Islam: Some Questions, prophet mohammed, word jihad
prophet mohammed, word jihad, jizya tax: Hi Abhishek, Peace and Blessings of Almighty God be on you.. Its a common misconception that Islam means Peace, however Islam means peace obtained by submitting the will of the created to the will of the Creator. I agree with you that meanings depend...

Comparative Islam: War, surah al baqarah, fear of poverty
surah al baqarah, fear of poverty, gross sins: Peace and blessings of Almighty God be on you Don, Long time no see buddy :-).. Apologies for the delay in revert, I guess you are quite used to my reasons for delay by now :-) A candid one word reply to your question would be YES . Islam does teach...

Comparative Islam: is Jesus the Christ?, new testament greek, hebrew term
new testament greek, hebrew term, jesus the christ: QUESTION: My dear when the Koran was written, there were no other translations of the Bible, how on earth did your Angel Gabriel confirm that the word is changed and gave a new revelation to Muhammad? Why & how did Muhammad believe that it was from the God...

Comparative Islam: Suffism, prophet mohammed, prophet muhammad
prophet mohammed, prophet muhammad, beloved prophet: Walaikum As Salaam Wa RahmatAllah Wa Barkathau Mishu, At the outset I would like to point out that I am not a scholar on sufism. My area of study for the past 8 years has been the comparitive beliefs of Islam to other faiths. Thus, the following answer...

Comparative Islam: can u tell me, mail correspondence, islam section
mail correspondence, islam section, christian scriptures: Peace to you! Thanks for your message. However, as clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding the Christian view of Christianity and its teaching. I answer questions...

Comparative Islam: about al-quran, mail correspondence, islam section
mail correspondence, islam section, singular noun: Peace to you! Thanks for your message. As clearly mentioned in my description, I am a follower of Jesus and my expertise is ONLY in answering questions Muslims have regarding the Christian view of Christianity and its teaching. I answer questions about...

Comparative Islam: having doubts, prophet mohammed, god existence
prophet mohammed, god existence, holy prophet: Walaikum As Salaam Wa Rahmatullah Wakas, I do not know if Allah will be angry with you if you read books which favour atheism. Ask yourself what is your intention when you read books about atheism? Are you sure you are only looking to make your faith stronger....

Comparative Islam: alteration of the scriptures, old testament book, jewish scriptures
old testament book, jewish scriptures, christian scriptures: Dear Mary, Peace to you! Thank you for your question. The New Testament we have today is absolutely reliable and trustworthy. It was given by God and there is no doubt that he has watched over it. If you wish to find out a more detailed answer please...

Comparative Islam: THE TRINITY DOCTRINE, trinity doctrine, 1 corinthians
trinity doctrine, 1 corinthians, faith in god: Dear Mary, Good to hear from you again! Thank you for your message. You wrote: JOHN IS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS TALKING OF LOGOS IN THE NEW TESTAMENT IN SUCH A MANNER THAT WHICH MEANS THE WORD WAS GOD; JESUS WAS GOD?! Yes, actually that is what it...

Comparative Islam: LANGUAGE OF THE MESSIAH, new testament times, dear marie
new testament times, dear marie, enemy of god: Dear Marie, Thank you for your message. The trade language of New Testament times was Greek. In order to pass on the Good News of Jesus in those days the main language used was Greek. One of the main differences between the many gospels, etc and those...

Comparative Islam: Comparative eligion, answering islam org, last element
answering islam org, last element, eligion: Dear Herman, Christianity and Islam share much common ground. Both trace their roots to Abraham. Both believe in prophecy, God s messengers (apostles), revelation, scripture, the resurrection of dead, and the centrality of religious community. This...

Comparative Islam: related to virginity
Salaam Brother Yusuf: The first thing I would advise, is that you please try distance yourself from this Minister/Preacher. You have indicated that he has caused you a great deal of suffering and confusion with reqards to intimate relations with women (specifically...

Comparative Islam: Jesus and Judaism
Dear Andrhe, Thank you for your good question. Your statement is partly true. Jesus was a Jew and he did teach Judaism to Jews. However, moreover, he introduced himself to them as the Messiah they were waiting for. For your information I copy you parts...

Comparative Islam: SORRY TO DISTURB YOU BUT ...
Peace and blessings of God be on your brother and thank you for the question. Apologies, I could not revert to earlier. I will try to answer these questions in parts. For ease of understanding I will quote a part of your question and provide the answer...

Comparative Islam: Why ?
Dear George, Thanks for your message. Thankfully there are many more true Christians than it appears to the world. However, only because of God s unspeakable grace we are what we are. All glory goes to him alone! I can see you have a good grasp of the...

Comparative Islam: Ram and Krishna and any Indian prophet in islam and Ahmeddiya
May the peace and blessings of God be on you Shree, As far as I am aware, there is no mention of any Indian prophet specifically by name in the Quran. However there are various references in the Quran which state that other than the prophets specifically...

Comparative Islam: language in hell
Walaikum As Salaam brother, Honestly I have never heard of this before, thus needed to do some research on this one. As per my research there is no mention of the people of Jannah speaking Arabic anywhere either in the Quran or the Shaheeh Hadith. Also...

Comparative Islam: Seen Dream, Return of Jesus
Return of Jesus : Dear Rameez, Peace to you! I prayed about the meaning of your dream and my thoughts were directed to the Torah and Injeel, the books of God where snakes and falling stars are first mentioned. Snakes are a symbol for the devil: -----------------------------...

Comparative Islam: Slokas in Veda
Peace to you! Thank you for your message. I have done some research on this claim and found it to be false here: http://www.stephen-knapp.com/mohammed_is_he_really_predicted_in_bhavishya_purana.htm It is better not to use such lies. There is, however,...

Comparative Islam: Scientific errors in gita! the hindu book!
Dear Shree, Thank you for your message. However, I must say it is outside my expertise. However, I copy for you an article below of an expert on the matter of Hinduism as it compares to Christianity. Please let me know what you think about it: From...

Comparative Religious Studies: choosing a guru and a path, picture of lord shiva, tibetan buddhism
picture of lord shiva, tibetan buddhism, path question: Interesting Questions, Someone once said that there are no real Good or Bad Gurus, or Good or Bad spiritual methodologies, there are only poor or serious students (smile). Meaning that if your primary motivation to seek God or Spirituality in the first...

Comparative Religious Studies: Divinity, sri krsna, christian apostle
sri krsna, christian apostle, occasional glimpses: Hi Alexander, The Sikh understanding of God, in my opinion, is an exalted and enlightened one. It is my belief that God is One and only One (which is what Guru Nanak as well as the Christian Apostle Paul taught). God is utterly beyond all human conception...

Comparative Religious Studies: Former catholic searching for relief, belief o matic, spiritual happiness
belief o matic, spiritual happiness, faith tradition: Hi Denise, In my opinion the quest for God and spiritual truth is the most important thing we do as humans. Having said, sometimes going to church can be one of the worst things we do (or one of the best). This is a very broad question. You might try...

Comparative Religious Studies: free choice vs. impaired individuals, multiple personality disorder, tay sachs
multiple personality disorder, tay sachs, just desserts: Dear Lauren, Peace! Thanks for your question. It is a pleasant surprise to read such a thoughtful question. Very few persons seem to think about such interesting matters. In order to understand the issues you raised, it is important to understand the...

Comparative Religious Studies: Jesus: messiah?, jesus messiah, shabbat shalom
jesus messiah, shabbat shalom, personal conclusions: Greetings again, Joshua. Maybe you could explain the ratings you have posted. I have never claimed any level of scholarship in identifying The Messiah and my purpose here on this site is something other than that, yet you say 3 reflects my knowledge...

Comparative Religious Studies: monotheism and polytheism, polytheism, monotheism
polytheism, monotheism, hierarchical structure: Hi Ashley, Well, the two are naturally the very different in that one type of religion is monotheistic i.e. has one God as the sovereign being and the other is polytheistic which means it is a religion which has a (pantehoenic) conception of the gods whereby...

Comparative Religious Studies: similarities, prophet jesus, jewish legends
prophet jesus, jewish legends, religious observances: Hi. Judaism is several thousand years older (Moses came ouit of Egypt around minus 1300, and his texts were collected in the minus 7th century in the Babylon exile, while Christianity started in the 1-2nd century as a Jewish sect but got became established...

Comparative Religious Studies: Catholic GirlMuslim Boy, muslim boy, different religions
muslim boy, different religions, catholic girl: I suggest that you discuss this together with both parents, yours and his. If they agree that you might get engaged, and the two of you want to be engaged, then take this as the first step. If anyone in this problem should change their religion it should...

Comparative Religious Studies: holy spirit, selfish desires, dramatic transformation
selfish desires, dramatic transformation, spiritual evolution: Dear Ben, Peace! Firstly, you should be aware that this is the Comparative Religion forum. However, I will give a brief response to you regardless. Yes, the transformation you referred to should be visible to all but the most blinded souls. However,...

Comparative Religious Studies: holy spirit, indwelling of the holy spirit, dramatic transformation
indwelling of the holy spirit, dramatic transformation, power of the spirit: Dear Ben, This question contains several questions, so I think I will begin with the last one and work my way up your post. First we are not the judge. A person that has recognized Messiah and received the presence of the Holy Spirit of the Most High G~D...

Comparative Religious Studies: holy spirit, fruit of the holy spirit, dramatic transformation
fruit of the holy spirit, dramatic transformation, distinct qualities: Hello Ben, Of course transformation is to be easily seen by others not just the individual. The fruit of the Holy Spirit residing within the life of that individual should be easily seen, though of course there is the necessary growth as this transformation...

Comparative Religious Studies: love, human cultures, psychological nature
human cultures, psychological nature, sexual love: Interesting question. What kind of love are we referring to? Puppy (Early) Love? Sexual Love? Romantic Love? Love of Self? Spiritual Love? Love between a Husband and Wife? Love between Children and Parents? Love between a Student and Teacher?...

Comparative Religious Studies: Muslim Question, long distance relationship, muslim sect
long distance relationship, muslim sect, minister farrakhan: Hi Britt, From what you say your beliefs sound fairly similar to my own ;-) With some exceptions. Muslim men (Shia or Sunni) are allowed to marry only Muslim, Christian or Jewish women as I explained before. If you are embracing the New Age Movement as...

Comparative Religious Studies: hi, muslim boy, muslim country
muslim boy, muslim country, christian practices: Hi Kavitha, As a Christian, the Bible commands you: II Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath...

Comparative Religious Studies: Muslim Question, long distance relationship, muslim sect
long distance relationship, muslim sect, minister farrakhan: Hi Britt, From what you say your beliefs sound fairly similar to my own ;-) With some exceptions. Muslim men (Shia or Sunni) are allowed to marry only Muslim, Christian or Jewish women as I explained before. If you are embracing the New Age Movement as...

Comparative Religious Studies: Primitive religion---Primitive economy, australian aborigines, primitive religion
australian aborigines, primitive religion, primitive traits: Hi, Again, it depends on what one means by primitive. That word is too loaded and has too many possible meanings. I never use it because it has no central meaning. Some of the Australian aborigines certainly live primitive lifestyles compared to...

Comparative Religious Studies: The first religion, sanatana dharma hinduism, atlantis lemuria
sanatana dharma hinduism, atlantis lemuria, religion judaism: Hi Maylinda, There is no agreement on this. According to the Indian Vedas, the Vedic religion of the Bharata Aryans is the original and eternal religion. That religion still exists today as the Sanatana Dharma (Hinduism) -- the world s third largest religion...

Comparative Religious Studies: Monotheism / Polytheism, ahura mazda, hebrew prophet
ahura mazda, hebrew prophet, one true god: Hi Maylinda, If you are asking this question as part of a school assignment the answer your teacher is probably looking for is that polytheism came first. It is generally believed among Western educators that Abraham was the first monotheist. He lived circa...

Comparative Religious Studies: religious faith, secular humanism, religious faith
secular humanism, religious faith, agnosticism: Its ALWAYS an advantage for everyone to have religious faith. Serious researchers simply need to be aware of their own biases and acknowledge them when appropriate. Those without religious faith are also usually biased in favor of Secular Humanism, Agnosticism...

Comparative Religious Studies: religious practice, spiritual realization, innocent animals
spiritual realization, innocent animals, practice question: Hi Shawn, Each person is an individual and interprets her/his faith accordingly. What a commandment or religious law/principle means to one person is not necessarily what it means to another. Likewise everyone reads the sacred text (whatever it is) according...

Comparative Religious Studies: the right church?, unitarian universalist, self actualization
unitarian universalist, self actualization, southern baptist church: Does it have to be a church? If you really believe that God is good and that we should promote this, why not just go out and try to do it with everyone you meet? The problem with my suggesting any particular church is that, in my opinion, they all have...

Comparative Religious Studies: Sin---Shame, nut shell, eyes of god
nut shell, eyes of god, messiah: One can be ashamed and not be sinning. It depends upon what caused the shame. Sin can be defined by the word BAD. In a nut shell ANYTHING that has a bad effect on another person is a sin against that person. In the Bible BAD=SIN! And that s the way...

Comparative Religious Studies: information, alcoholics anonymous meetings, comparative religious studies
alcoholics anonymous meetings, comparative religious studies, absolute sovereignty: Greetings to you, Mashuk. I do not know “the different ways and courses” that might be available to you there in India. However, I can say my own knowledge of various religions is something I have accumulated through the years by simply talking with people...

Comparative Religious Studies: Curious, jesus of nazareth, god jesus
jesus of nazareth, god jesus, dr clark: They look similar but there are important differences. Buddha teaches that self and God* are illusions and not real. Jesus teaches that self and God* are real. Buddha advocates the annihilation of the apparent illusions of self and God.* Jesus teaches...

Comparative Religious Studies: easter, council of chalcedon, faith institutions
council of chalcedon, faith institutions, western christians: Hi J. It is true that all Christian Orthodox people from the Malabar Indians, Greeks, Russians, Armenians, Ethiopians etc. celebrate Easter later (sometimes) than the western world s Christians. The reason for this has nothing to do with the Orthodox being...

Comparative Religious Studies: Is Alcoholics Anonymous a Religion?, term of endearment, internet chatrooms
term of endearment, internet chatrooms, mr sterling: Dear Mr. Sterling, Peace! Thank you for your interesting letter. Firstly, regarding the way you addressed me, yes, it is the correct way of addressing a priest. The proper etiquette for addressing other persons is as follows: One should address one s...

Comparative Religious Studies: Hell and God, writers of the bible, literal hell
writers of the bible, literal hell, new mom: There are many good people who have never been introduced to the God that is found on the Old and New Testaments. Paul, when he wrote to the Romans (Romans 2:14) addressed this particular subject. This is proof that good people that are not familiar...

Comparative Religious Studies: Coptic, Russian, and Greek Orthodox religions, pope leo ix, eastern orthodox church
pope leo ix, eastern orthodox church, russian orthodox church: Interesting Questions. The Christianity of the Copts, is one of the oldest continual early Christian churches in the world predating even the Council of Nicea, which predates the formation of both the Greek and Russian Orthodoxies. Both the Russian and...

Comparative Religious Studies: chainging name, english thanks, christian girl
english thanks, christian girl, siddiqi: Salam Siddiqi, You may want to check with an imam about this, but in my opinion this Christian girl needs it to be explained to her very clearly that Islam is very different from Christianity in certain key ways. You can refer her here if you wish and I...

Comparative Religious Studies: fornication today, bodily pleasure, christian belief
bodily pleasure, christian belief, personal belief: Dear Renee , The original question dated 09/03/2006 was asking for my opinion, as such I did not deal with specific meanings based upon any specific dogma, such as passages from the First or Second Testament, nor did I provide any analysis of sexuality...

Comparative Religious Studies: holy trinity, biblical origins, dear annie
biblical origins, dear annie, early christians: Basically, dear Annie, all religions strive to connect us to a Higher Power, in order to develop morally, but the details are different and we shd not let this cause stress for us. Of course all the Catholic (Christian) concept have Hebrew and Biblical origins...

Comparative Religious Studies: Research review request--religion and science based, arcana, metaphysical
arcana, metaphysical, Hamann: Hello, I took time to look at thirty or more minutes about the origin of the Bible (Old Testament)--the argument was that later writers (Hezekiah s time as I remember) were writing in order to promote Jerusalem and the line of Judah as a unifying principle...

Comparative Religious Studies: Research review request--religion and science based, human neurons, hyperlinked words
human neurons, hyperlinked words, wiesbaden germany: Noted. Your presentation is too colorful, and difficult to read. I suggest the text be modified for straightforward presentation, with links provided as footnotes instead of in the body. It is much too time-consuming as presented. A synopsis would be beneficial...

Comparative Religious Studies: Research review request--religion and science based, human neurons, hyperlinked words
human neurons, hyperlinked words, wiesbaden germany: Hi Larry, Lots of interesting info both here and on the referenced pages. You ve done a lot of research. I don t have the time right now to give this material the time it deserves but my initial thought from skimming it is that you are weaving a presentation...

Comparative Religious Studies: What religions / philosophies believe that life and suffering give us reasons to enjoy heaven?, planes of existence, garbage dump
planes of existence, garbage dump, saguna brahman: Hi Stephen, Depending on how the beliefs are understood, most. Master Y shua (Jesus) didn t teach the existence of hell in my opinion. This was a Roman Pagan doctrine that the Vatican adopted in the 3rd and 4th centuries. The Master merely used the local...

Comparative Religious Studies: What religions / philosophies believe that life and suffering give us reasons to enjoy heaven?, heaven
heaven: Yours is a pretty complicated question. Some would question your use of the term Heaven because almost every religion has a different understanding of just what that is. Start by taking a look at this and follow up if you like. http://www.theologicalstudies.citymax.com/page/page/1559275.ht...

Comparative Religious Studies: comparative religious studies, kjv of the bible, comparative religious studies
kjv of the bible, comparative religious studies, king james version of the bible: If you are curious and really wish to examine Comparative religion I have included the URL for a web site below. Here is the web site. http://virtualreligion.net/vri/comp_rel.html HOWEVER: I do NOT recommend that you scramble your mind in this kind of...

Comparative Religious Studies: Definition, lord jesus christ, interpretation of the scriptures
lord jesus christ, interpretation of the scriptures, elusive definition: i·sa·gog·ics Spelled Pronunciation[ahy-suh-goj-iks] –noun (used with a singular verb) 1. introductory studies. 2. the branch of theology that is introductory to Bible study and exegesis. Isagogics I sa*gog ics, n. (Theol.) That part of...

Comparative Religious Studies: comparative religious studies, jesus, truth
Comparative Religious Studies: comparative religious studies, jesus, truth

Comparative Religious Studies: Who are the highest angels?, angels Gabriel Rafael
angels Gabriel Rafael: I don t have any good information on who might be the highest angels. I think it is a question that could be answered in a literary way.That is, in this or that literature, what are the ranks of angels, and what names can be found? There might be one answer...

Comparative Religious Studies: How I know this is the truth?, emotive response, subatomic particles
emotive response, subatomic particles, mind of god: Interesting Questions. 1.What do you believe reality is? Is it subatomic particle? or Quantum ( is the world make up fo quatum physic?) or just the reality? what si your version of reality that you believe in? My personal beliefs run the gamut from...

Comparative Religious Studies: How I know this is the truth?, innumerable places, subatomic particle
innumerable places, subatomic particle, quatum: 1. KNOW reality when I see, feel, touch, smell, etc. Yes EVERYTHING consists of Atoms. But a mastermind we call God has used them to create REALITY in innumerable places. 2. Life is NOT a dream, and it is not an illusion because the person standing next...

Comparative Religious Studies: How I know this is the truth?, biblical prophets, humanist religion
biblical prophets, humanist religion, secular humanism: Hi again, QUESTION: -What do you believe reality is? Is it subatomic particle? or quantum or just the reality? what is your version of reality that you believe in? JoA: In my initial reply I explained my beliefs on reality: Saguna and Nirguna Brahman....

Comparative Religious Studies: How I know this is the truth?, truth god, rambo
truth god, rambo, bullshit: Dear Rambo I have no idea...maybe you are not writing this at all? You se Rambo, if you keep thinking all is an illusion and nothing is stable then you eventual end is total instability and no one can stop the destruction that will come to you when...

Comparative Religious Studies: what is the real world like?, electrical signals, stars in the sky
electrical signals, stars in the sky, sound waves: Yes indeed you really exist and the world you live in is a very real world. All human brains work very much alike since they all have nearly exactly the same internal mechanism. In cases where there were berth defects or other brain injury, that altered...

Comparative Religious Studies: what is the real world like?, electrical signals, stars in the sky
electrical signals, stars in the sky, sound waves: Hello, Thank you for your thoughts. The questions you ask cover a wide range of things. I looked at the video about the external world and have some thoughts about it. It seems to leave out the consideration of other people. If all the world is just some...

Comparative Religious Studies: what is the real world like?, electrical signals, stars in the sky
electrical signals, stars in the sky, sound waves: Hi again, -I think therefore I am, how I know my thought and concious isn t a simulation or illusion of god? JoA: You don t, but it does imply the existence of an individual knower. Based on this, one can go forth and seek to understand the rest. If...

Comparative Religious Studies: what is the real world like?, electrical signals, stars in the sky
electrical signals, stars in the sky, sound waves: Interesting Questions. 1 -Am I really create by the god as the way I am? how do I know I am not simulation or imagination of the god? First IF there is a God that creates as you imagine, and IF that God created you as you are (whatever that is), or IF...

Comparative Religious Studies: what is the real world like?, electrical signals, stars in the sky
electrical signals, stars in the sky, sound waves: Dear Rambo, As I said. Read God s word to mankind. Its all there. I am not here to give my opinion, but to point you to what God says. If you listen to men (even your own mind) you will become like a ship without an anchor. Lets honour God in this...

Comparative Religious Studies: Christianity before Paul?, new testament book, pauline theology
new testament book, pauline theology, sayings of jesus: We d be without the sayings of Jesus and without the stories of healing, talking with people, and so on. Paul does talk about the death and resurrection of Christ as they bear on his own salvation, and the salvation of others. The question would be taken...

Comparative Religious Studies: Do we have the same type of souls?, bitter flavour, human senses
bitter flavour, human senses, taste sensation: Interesting Questions, I have watched the Matrix. The Matrix was based on the premise that a false reality can be input so that the individual would have no idea that their reality was false, however if the illusion duplicated the reality, there would...

Comparative Religious Studies: Do we have the same type of souls?, perception, other minds
perception, other minds: There is no reason to believe that human beings differ from one another in their perceptions, mediated by their body and mind, any more than their externally visible parts differ--their basic physical appearance, including height, weight, color, age, and so...

Comparative Religious Studies: Do we have the same type of souls?, bitter flavour, human senses
bitter flavour, human senses, taste sensation: Hi, As I explained before: ANSWER: Hi again Rambo, The answer to all such questions will depend on what one accepts as the ground of being. Is one looking at secular science, a particular religion, some philosopher, etc. In the words of Pilate: What...

Comparative Religious Studies: the Word of God? The Argument from Design?, dialogues concerning natural religion, revelation of john
dialogues concerning natural religion, revelation of john, biblical god: I put the words enough for me there because I wanted to decline the question whether arguments--words, discourse, logic, at least--can compel belief in God. I do believe that Jesus Christ is revealed in the Bible, and on a literal level, this is just as...

Comparative Religious Studies: Comparative Religious Studies, graduate studies
graduate studies: Liz I think that info would be readily available thru a quick search at Google. And to be honest, I would not feel comfortable recommending any place to you. It really depends on several factors: Funding, if you need it; Location; What your interests are;...

Comparative Religious Studies: Divinity Of Jesus (peace be upon him), God, Lord Jesus
God, Lord Jesus, Scripture: Dear Yahya, Asalam Allecum! Thank you for your interesting question, even if it is slightly outside the scope of the category you chose ( Comparative Religious Studies - since you are not comparing any religious traditions). First of all, I understand...

Comparative Religious Studies: Divinity Of Jesus (peace be upon him), jesus demands, divinity of jesus
jesus demands, divinity of jesus, christian belief: The passages that you call attention to are discussed in most commentaries. According to the Christian idea that Jesus Christ is a manifestation of God in union with a human being, there will be passages the show that he is less than God. The body of Jesus...

Comparative Religious Studies: God's Omnipotence, bachellor, philosophy class
bachellor, philosophy class, christian idea: Joey, I think that you are wise to ask if God can do things that we cannot easily comprehend. Some say that we might have at least partial understanding of those supposedly logically impossible things with the aid of some kind of direct revelation. A...

Comparative Religious Studies: miralces, hindu guru, dear madam
hindu guru, dear madam, lord rama: Dear Madam, Peace! In the great Indian epic poem Mahabharata (literally, great India ) one of the characters (in the form of a pond) asks a king What is the most wonderful thing in the world . The king replies: The most wonderful and amazing thing on...

Comparative Religious Studies: omnipotence and god, logical inconsistencies, logical inconsistency
logical inconsistencies, logical inconsistency, ordinary god: Interesting Question. First it is important to recognize that any discussion of any Belief Methodology inherently contains within it what are called Logic Loops, or Logical Inconsistencies. A classic logical inconsistency is the question, “…what is more...

Comparative Religious Studies: Religion, navy chaplain, barack obama
navy chaplain, barack obama, religion course: Hi Gurbunderbhatpuntalla, I m sorry to say this, but your piece is based on a false assumption. It would need a complete re-write to make it accurate. Obama is most likely still a Muslim. He even took off work for Ramadan this year. He attended madrasa...

Comparative Religious Studies: spiritaul, buddha dharma, inner contentment
buddha dharma, inner contentment, green tara: Hi Daniel, I d say that if this practice is working for you, if you are growing in Love and Light that s a good thing. Questions such as these are difficult because spirituality (as opposed to religion) is such a personal experience. As the sages of...

Comparative Religious Studies: Abrahamic Religions, abrahamic religions, noahide covenant
abrahamic religions, noahide covenant, heaven and the earth: Hi Morley, Happy to help. This may be a bit more information that you want but its all important if you want to understand this. According to the Bible (the Hebrew Tanack) God created the Heaven and the Earth. Then came the flood of Noah s time. ...

Comparative Religious Studies: What is Blasphemy according to the nazarene religion, nazarene religion, joseph blanchette
nazarene religion, joseph blanchette, what is blasphemy: Dear Markus, By the religion of The Nazarene should I assume to the faith methodology commonly known as Christianity? If that is the case then what is blasphemy can be relatively easy to define, for what is blaspheme is easily defined with the Judaic-Christos...

Comparative Religious Studies: Christianity From Judaism, twelve tribes of israel, messiah jesus
twelve tribes of israel, messiah jesus, jacob israel: Hi Don, Christianity began as a sect of Judaism. Without Judaism there would be no Christian religion. In brief, what Christians call the Old Testament is the Jewish Torah and Tanack, the foundational Scriptures of Judaism (most Jews also accept the...

Comparative Religious Studies: different beliefs, religions of man, human intellect
religions of man, human intellect, spiritual community: Hi Dave, As in most cases there is truth in this, and if it is taken too far one will err. All man made religions are at best limitedly true. However what religion says their religion is man made? Most say their beliefs were received from God or realized...

Comparative Religious Studies: polytheism vs. monotheism
Comparative Religious Studies: polytheism vs. monotheism

Comparative Religious Studies: Judaism vs Christianity, christian faiths, jewish faith
christian faiths, jewish faith, fundamental differences: Christianity inherited the Jewish faith, and has modified it by adding to what is said about God and Jesus Christ. The statements of the Jewish faith are not, broadly speaking, contradicted by Christian faith. But Christians believe that Jesus was a special...

Comparative Religious Studies: polytheism vs. monotheism, Monotheism, Polytheism
Monotheism, Polytheism, Religion: Dear Paul, Peace! I m afraid I am without my own Internet connection for a few weeks but if you care to read the first few paragraphs of the scripture I pasted below it may prove highly enlightening: A Final Instruction Sheet for Humanity God...

Comparative Religious Studies: Bible, roman emperor constantine, nomadic herders
roman emperor constantine, nomadic herders, kjv bible: Interesting Question. An old question, “…what is The Bible…”, “…is The Bible the word of God…”? It is important to understand that the title The Bible, means many books, so when someone asks is The Bible the word or God, or what is The Bible, you need...

Comparative Religious Studies: Bible Question, monetary references, christian denominations
monetary references, christian denominations, bible question: Dear Thomas, The only monetary guidelines in Scripture that I am aware of are, of course, tithing. In Torah, there are some monetary references to the purchasing of slaves, or debt redemption. I do know, many Christian denominations find interesting interpretations...

Comparative Religious Studies: God, what is a nucleotide, human being humans
what is a nucleotide, human being humans, ribosomal rna: Interesting Question. “…there come a point where scientists, chemists etc cannot deconstruct anymore? And if so, what does that mean? If they actually come to a substance or whatever you want to call it that just is and can t be broken down or...