About Experts Sitemap - Group 17 - Page 4 2015-04-28

Divorce Issues: son's abandonment by adopted father upon marriage, father figure, merry christmas
father figure, merry christmas, abandonment: Hi. I’m having a little trouble following your description. Here is what I’ve understood. The father figure is an old friend, a previous boy friend. He lives elsewhere but visited you and your son in Europe ever three or four months. When he visited...

Divorce Issues: spouse refuses to sign, fault divorce, divorce papers
fault divorce, divorce papers, divorce decree: Dear Tina, Have him served legally. It will cost something, but he cannot refuse the papers, if they hand them to him. He has to acknowledge receipt of the notice. His signature is not required on the actual divorce decree, only on the paper that signifies...

Divorce Issues: Transferring divorce case, riverside county california, divorce petition
riverside county california, divorce petition, maricopa county arizona: I m not sure, but I think whomever files first claims residency. However, check out the alimony and child support laws for both states. If California is more leniant towards the woman (which I think it might be), you could either benefit financially by allowing...

Divorce Issues: What to tell frinds,family,coworkers,etc..., health diagnosis, interim stage
health diagnosis, interim stage, strange reaction: Dear Christin, I am going to give a pretty short and honest response and believe me, the people that care about you will accept it and the ones that don t accept it, well, you don t need your personal life to be fodder for gossip, anyway. Simply tell anyone...

Divorce Issues: is it time to move on?, pastor kim, heart to heart
pastor kim, heart to heart, inlaws: Hi Michelle, Have you talked with your father-in-law about this? Does he know that his son is abusive? If you haven t had a sit down heart to heart with him, then I think you should. I would put it upon his shoulders to have a serious talk with his son...

Divorce Issues: unsigned divorce decree, divorce decree, exwife
divorce decree, exwife, legal document: Dear Craig, I realize my answer is going to sound a bit paranoid, but . . . you have to cover yourself. Keep the copy you obtained from the courthouse in your possession at all times. By that I mean, do not leave it at your attorney s office, etc. Do you...

Divorce Issues: vehicle in divorce, payment stubs, snag
payment stubs, snag, vickie: Dear Vickie, Usually in the case of divorce when there are two vehicles, regardless of the paperwork, each party receives one, if they can individually afford to maintain one. Now, I am not an attorney and remember, each case is a unique and individual matter,...

Divorce Issues: Want to stay in my home, due bills, bad decisions
due bills, bad decisions, adult son: AJ your letter is confusing. 1-Do you presently own your own home that s rented? Rent an extended stay place until your renters can vacate 2-Do you have a divorce pending? If you do, don t worry about his relationship with his kids. Everyone that...

Divorce Issues: waiting, divorce decree, state of nebraska
divorce decree, state of nebraska, marriage licenses: Dear Marcia, I m afraid I can only answer part of this question. I do not know the requirements for the state of Nebraska, but I do know there is a 30 day waiting period from the date of a divorce decree until the application for a marriage license can be...

Divorce Issues: Adultery and alcoholism together - what do I do?, marriage counseling, parenting plan
marriage counseling, parenting plan, marriage issues: Hi Tom, Thanks for writing. I m not sure what you re asking about advice. Legally, I don t have much to say, as I am not a lawyer. But I can tell you that your wife will never agree to sign a decree that says if she drinks you will get the kids 100 percent...

Divorce Issues: Amendment, divorce decrees, divorce decree
divorce decrees, divorce decree, divoce: Dear Benjamin, I am not an attorney, but most divorce decrees have a very limited time for amendments, as in 30 days. Now, as for child custody or support payments, I know these can be changed at times. For the most part, however; a divorce decree stands...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend's relationship with his ex, amicable divorce, man at work
amicable divorce, man at work, exact words: Your boyfriend rather fiercely defends his right to be with those people whom he cares so much about. As I said the situation has deteriorated and both you guys have backed each other into extreme positions. Your overall goal is to accept and support his...

Divorce Issues: Breaking down with hurt, pre nup, dirty info
pre nup, dirty info, criminal defense attorney: Hi Jacqueline, Unfortunately, this is what can happen when money is the ruling factor. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Are you a Christian? Sometimes the only way to battle through is with the help of the Lord... His Word gives us over...

Divorce Issues: Court Order, contempt of court, lawyer fees
contempt of court, lawyer fees, last november: Hello Candy, Your ex-Husband is in contempt of court, you can take him back to court and present this information to a judge. The court will view his efforts and go on his ability to paid this outstanding balance. Nevertheless, if you have proof that he...

Divorce Issues: Getting a Divorce, marriage counseling, getting a divorce
marriage counseling, getting a divorce, belove: Kearsten, it sounds like you are planning to get a divorce. Do I have that correct? It does sound like you simply are not going to be controled by him in the way he wants to do it. I suppose there are some ways that you are willing to accomodate him...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, marriage counseling, divorce papers
marriage counseling, divorce papers, legal aid: Hello Kearston, A divorce cost anywhere between 250.00 to 300.00 to file. The papers you need are available online or at your states court house, the cost is about 10.00 Maximum.(less if you get them at the court house) You have many options that might not...

Divorce Issues: Getting a Divorce, abuse marriage, unhappy marriage
abuse marriage, unhappy marriage, separation: Dear Kearston, I am so sorry that you are going through a bad time when this time so soon after your marriage ought to be a happy one. It does sound like your husband is too immature to have a healthy relationship at this time, and although I am sad to...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, Child Abandoment, divorce child, old baby
divorce child, old baby, birth certificate: Dear Rosa, I am so sorry for what you have gone through emotionally. I would like to suggest just a couple of things, however; before you simply let him off scott free of responsibility. First, his name is on the birth certificate, so leave that as it...

Divorce Issues: About to deliver 2nd child; contemplating divorce, philosophies about life, time childcare
philosophies about life, time childcare, grand statements: Hi Anne, Thanks for writing. I could feel the frustration you feel oozing out of every word you wrote -- and for good reason!! Where can I find I similar situation such as your husband has so that I can sit back and be in nervana while my spouse does...

Divorce Issues: divorce, social security number, time frames
social security number, time frames, darla: Dear Darla, You need to consult an attorney. State laws vary regarding abandonment or time frames for prolonged absence. If you still have his social security number, that s a start in finding him. An attorney will be able to help you with a course of...

Divorce Issues: divorce, divorce packet, detail instructions
divorce packet, detail instructions, proof of service: Hello Robin, In the United States you can get a divorce with or without a response. When you file for divorce, 1.Serve him the papers. 2.You need proof of service,(his signature, that he received the papers.)after that you do not need him to respond any...

Divorce Issues: divorce, veterans health administration, nasty divorce
veterans health administration, nasty divorce, work computer: Hi Rick, I am really sorry for what you are going through. I am sure it is sad, frustrating, and maddening all at the same time. As marriages fall apart it often sends people into a state of mind that causes them to behave in ways that even they didn...

Divorce Issues: divorce with a 2 yr old., divorce anger, divorce
divorce anger, divorce, custody issues: Hi Meg, I am so sorry that you are in such pain after the end of your marriage. I understand the emotions that come with the breaking off of an emotional/love and business/legal attachment that marriage is. You have my sympathy. You asked how you can...

Divorce Issues: dudas, usa toda, pase lo que pase
usa toda, pase lo que pase, el divorcio: Hola Lety, Desculpe que no conteste pronto, tambien desculpe mi espanol. Has pasado mucho tiempo creyendo que otra person te pueda controlar y te has dejado. Porque el dice, que vas a cayer a la calle, que vas acer, te vas a dejar? no te recomiendo que...

Divorce Issues: on letting go, sympathy, suffering
Divorce Issues: on letting go, sympathy, suffering, great deals

Divorce Issues: failed marriage; probable divorce, seperate lives, failed marriage
seperate lives, failed marriage, biological daughter: Hi Marcey, There is no way to make a person admit to an affair. Even normally honest people will lie through their teeth about such things. I imagine something is up, but you may never know what it is. Many couples divorce without one or the other getting...

Divorce Issues: Husband Does Not Support Family Financially, marriage counseling, household responsibilities
marriage counseling, household responsibilities, part time job: Hi Susan, Was his family like this as well? Just wondering because many times it s a generational curse and no matter what a person does, they can t make it work. What are the words he is speaking? Is he saying, I am never going to succeed , or I can...

Divorce Issues: help!!, divorce petition, illegal immigrant
divorce petition, illegal immigrant, alimony: Hello Michelle, When she filed for divorce, he should of got a notice and a copy of the original divorce petition. If he would of read the papers he could of went to court and contested the alimony. With the information you gave me, It seems as if he didn...

Divorce Issues: Liability-recovery, small claims court, contempt of court
small claims court, contempt of court, divorce documents: Dear Laurie, I m sorry for what you are going through. I certainly don t want to discourage you, but small claims or even contempt of court in divorce documents often result in a judgment in your favor, but that still doesn t actually make the payment or...

Divorce Issues: Life wasn't meant to be a nasty threesome, fear of confrontation, passive aggressiveness
fear of confrontation, passive aggressiveness, fianc: The problem as I see it is that you are a take-charge type of person and your fiance is passive. It sounds like no matter how much you try to take control of the situation, he is unwilling to cooperate. And so you become the angry one. And he becomes more...

Divorce Issues: on letting go, stay at home mom, tight budget
stay at home mom, tight budget, having an affair: Hello Eric, You have two choices, either dwell on the past and never let go or stop thinking about the past and move on. Sounds simple? Its not. The idea of once having a family made you happy at one point of time, now that same thought brings you sadness....

Divorce Issues: post divorce issues, poor judgement, divorce issues
poor judgement, divorce issues, workplace harassment: Hello Di, You might think about filing a order of protection/workplace harassment. When you file, be specific as to what you want him not to do, and be ready to prove it, a judge will want to see proof. The protection orders are very specific, for example,...

Divorce Issues: HUSBAND'S relations with FORMER stepchildren?, marriage counseling, ill thoughts
marriage counseling, ill thoughts, stepchildren: Good. I look forward to speaking with you. A couple things to be mindful of: First, it s a pretty reliable rule of thumb that if one partner in a marriage is dysfunctional, the other is equally dysfunctional in a complementary way. That s why we...

Divorce Issues: Starting Over...AGAIN!, start from scratch, new apartment
start from scratch, new apartment, bestfriends: The key to your answer is in your own words... once he started having to contribute . You gave and he took. Once he was asked to give, the game wasn t fun anymore and he left. I have a little saying that a caretaker cares for a taker and a caregiver cares...

Divorce Issues: My soon to be ex wifes boyfriend, home in my eyes, everyday practice
home in my eyes, everyday practice, couple questions: Dear Chris, Thanks for writing. Yes, in my opinion you did overreact. We should allow our children the space to call their parent s new love whatever feels comfortable for them. To take a stand as you did will only cause your child guilt and shame. A...

Divorce Issues: taking name off mortgage, quick claim deed, becca
quick claim deed, becca, ashley: Hello Ashley, He needs to sign a Quick Claim deed , meaning she keeps the house his name is taken off the mortgage and she is now solely responsible. She needs to find someone to co-buy the home with her,someone that has good credit. or else sell the home....

Divorce Issues: Affair, communication email, belove
communication email, belove, betrayal: I guess she was quite hurt. Some people handle betrayal this way. They can t forget and they can t forgive. You re going to have to do more than just beg for her to come back. I think a lot depends on what you say to her even as an opening or invitation...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend with ex all the time, egg shells, dave and buster
egg shells, dave and buster, school functions: Dear Lori, You are right. The relationship with the Ex is always stressful and a challenge. It is hard to find what s reasonable. Best is to approach it as a challenge for the two of you, the new couple. As your relationship matures into something...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend wants to see son after ten years, surprise visit, having an affair
surprise visit, having an affair, son and daughter: Dear Beverley, I think you are between a rock and a hard spot, here. I agree with your assessment of the situation, but I don t think your boyfriend will hear that. If he s been providing all these years and received no acknowledgement, I m guessing a surprise...

Divorce Issues: boyfriend and his exwife spending time together, family vacations, new boyfriend
family vacations, new boyfriend, sexual relations: This is actually a common problem. I ll describe one way to think about it and then also offer a possible solution. It s a triangle. There are three relationships. Between him and his ex, between him and you, between you and his ex. there is a second...

Divorce Issues: how to bring the kids into a relationship after separation, long distance relationship, serious relationship
long distance relationship, serious relationship, tricky situation: It is tricky and you both sound like you are being very sensitive. I don t know if I can do justice to this in a letter and if you both want to arrange a consult on the phone, let me know. The 18 year old is the one doing the protesting. Often when that...

Divorce Issues: Confused- Please help, marriage work, mutual consent
marriage work, mutual consent, difficult decision: Dear Priya, This is a very difficult decision you are about to make. There is risk in either direction and you seem to have made a good beginning toward seeing the risks clearly. I can t tell you what to do but I can tell you how to think more deeply about...

Divorce Issues: Contemplating Divorce, roommate situation, thinking of divorce
roommate situation, thinking of divorce, loving feelings: Hi Sara, Thanks for writing and I am sorry for the distress you are feeling in your marriage. No, I do not think it is good to stay married for the children -- they need to be exposed to a loving marriage, not one in which their mother sacrifices her happiness...

Divorce Issues: Dating after Divorce, senses of humor, former girlfriends
senses of humor, former girlfriends, minor crisis: It sounds like you did a very fine job. It also sounds like he stepped up to the challenge...which is a good sign. So much depends on what you mean when you say gain control of my fears. In some respects, your fears are your friends. So you have to...

Divorce Issues: divorce, should I tell kids mom had an affair
should I tell kids mom had an affair: Hi Rick, I am sorry that you are going through your marital distress. First, your wife s relationship with the other guy IS inappropriate, and don t allow her to tell you otherwise. Of course, if your marriage is over for good, she may think of it as...

Divorce Issues: divorce in texas, but married in uk, family lawyer, drivers license
family lawyer, drivers license, divorce in texas: Hi Jon, I feel badly for you and your family. Unfortunately I am more of a psychologist, not a lawyer. I wish I could answer your question but I am not qualified to do so and am not knowledgeable in that area. I suggest you write a Texas family lawyer on...

Divorce Issues: Father seeking visitation or custody of son, mother will not allow visitation now, father of a son, full custody
father of a son, full custody, time parent: Dear Chad, Start with an attorney. Many offer a first consultation at no charge. If you are paying child support, you should have no problem getting a judge to rule for your visitation. If you are not paying child support, going to court will establish...

Divorce Issues: boyfriend and his exwife spending time together, family vacations, family time
Divorce Issues: boyfriend and his exwife spending time together, family vacations, family time, feelings

Divorce Issues: forced, bitter person, unfit mother
Divorce Issues: forced, bitter person, unfit mother, anxiety

Divorce Issues: filing for divorce with an absent spouse, legalities of divorce, absent spouse
legalities of divorce, absent spouse, absolute answer: Dear Alysha, Without knowing what state you are in and what state you were married in, I can t give you an absolute answer, but I recommend that you contact an attorney in the state you are now living. I think there are pretty simple ways to end a marriage...

Divorce Issues: forced, scare tactic, high anxiety
scare tactic, high anxiety, physical custody: For bonding, try this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bonding and read the section on parental bonding and attachment http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_bonding there are five criteria: 1. the bond is persistent, not transitory 2. It involves a...

Divorce Issues: Now what happens? Where do I go from here?, immigration purposes, american citizen
immigration purposes, american citizen, bad woman: Marie, thank you for writing. I appreciate the seriousness of your situation. Deciding to divorce is always difficult but I would support your wish to do so. You ve made a case that he is a cruel man and that he will continue to treat you with cruelty...

Divorce Issues: inter-spousal transfer, Community Property, Capital Gains
Community Property, Capital Gains, Divorce: In general its true; however it is really important that you speak to an accountant (CPA) who has more knowledge of this. The answer may be subjected to nuances and ought to be viewed in light of the particular circumstances. I would ask the CPA to give you...

Divorce Issues: issues w/ boyfriends ex, party relationship, bad decisions
party relationship, bad decisions, white trash: Dominique, I ve seen this situation before. Bad news. My experience with these -- The ex wife and mother of ex s children from hell -- is that the situation doesn t change. You can look forward to years of this. Nothing you guys can do will change ...

Divorce Issues: Lost and Lonely, fight sex, daycare
fight sex, daycare, confusing situation: Hi Nicky, I am sorry that you are in this stressful, sad and confusing situation. My heart goes out to you. You are a very patient woman, tolerating your estranged husband s indecision. Many separated people are torn about what to finally do with their...

Divorce Issues: not sure if this is the right place..., mom chooses boyfriend over son
mom chooses boyfriend over son: Hi Raymond, Ahhh -- I am so sorry for you and what you are going through. It must hurt a lot to see your mom in this way, and to feel her distance. From my point-of-view as a therapist, what she is doing is not that unusual or unpredictable. After a...

Divorce Issues: Sadness, spiritual struggle, mental abuse
spiritual struggle, mental abuse, self knowledge: Dear Tanya, Thank you for this lovely and touching story. You say you don t know what to do anymore and I applaud you for your self knowledge and maturity. It takes some people a lifetime to realize that sometimes the path ahead is not clear and that...

Divorce Issues: STBX new girlfriend, husband's girlfriend, husband dating before divorce final
husband's girlfriend, husband dating before divorce final: Hi Bonnie, Poor woman. I feel for you and the pain you are going through. I know how hard it is. Dearest Bonnie, you really must stop trying to control what others do for the sake of your own comfort level and release yourself from the torture of thinking...

Divorce Issues: stbx husband new girlfriend, divorce paperwork, new girlfriend
divorce paperwork, new girlfriend, different girls: Consults are by phone. I am located in New England and am often calling from Montreal. In the winters I am in California. I m afraid he, in his way, is as challenged as you are when it comes to having a sense of self that is independent of any particular...

Divorce Issues: We have three kids and I want to fix this!, young adulthood, furniture co
young adulthood, furniture co, cute kids: Dear Wyatt, I am sorry that you are feeling badly about your predicament, but in all honesty I have to say that you and the mother of your children caused every ounce of the trouble you find yourself in. The sad thing is that three innocent children will...

Divorce Issues: DO I WANT A DIVORCE?, victim, depression
victim, depression, cruel spouse: Hi Lisa, First of all, you re depressed. I feel really badly that you are suffering so, but the mere fact that you don t think you re able to climb out of it on your own informs informs me that you are depressed and need to get it treated. Please visit...

Divorce Issues: Child Abuse, ways to relieve stress, time stress
ways to relieve stress, time stress, getting a divorce: Stress management plays a key role in adjusting to a change in a family situation. It is very important that parents provide for themselves healthy ways to relieve stress. When stress is allowed to build, it can lead to many types of destructive behavior....

Divorce Issues: Congratulating ex-fiance having a child, legal suits, neuropsych
legal suits, neuropsych, double degree: Hi Patrick, You sound like a nice and caring guy -- I applaud you for that. I understand your feelings, and it sounds like the breakup was very painful for all involved. I still would keep my distance as she moves on. Let her reach out to you if she cares...

Divorce Issues: Contempt, breech of contract, verbal harassment
breech of contract, verbal harassment, legal avenues: Dear Cathy, I am not an attorney, but this sounds like it could go into some sort of civil legislation, like breech of contract or something. You could try to contact the court clerk where the divorce was decreed and ask what the procedure is for this type...

Divorce Issues: children's psychological issues PLEASE READ!!, touchy feely, personnal training
touchy feely, personnal training, half my wife: Hi John, Your question is long, but the answer is short. Unfortunately you cannot control what your ex says or does. She is going to say what she is going to say, and your daughters may fall for it for awhile, but if you and your wife don t do what she...

Divorce Issues: Dad moving out., emotional divorce, trial separation
emotional divorce, trial separation, trip story: In my previous note I gave you an idea of a script to use. Without knowing more, that s the script I d recommend. (we re angry with each other and we re going to live in separate houses for a while until we calm down and can think about what we want to...

Divorce Issues: DEPRESSED OVER DIVORCE?, average man, divorces
average man, divorces, irony: Hi Babes, My dear, need to do what is healthy for you, without worry of what it will appear like to his family. It is not your job to rescue their son. Not only that, but it is not healthy for you to do so. You will have a much happier life when you stand...

Divorce Issues: divorce and remarrying, family law articles, remarrying
family law articles, remarrying, waiting time: Hi there Michelle, According to a little bit of research I found at the following link: http://www.illinoisdivorce.com/family_law_articles/remarriage.php That once you re divorced in Illinois you can remarry as soon as you are officially divorced and...

Divorce Issues: Effects of divorce on a 3 year old..., loving behavior, effects of divorce
loving behavior, effects of divorce, daycare: Hi Chateau, Thanks for writing. My, you have really been through a tough situation and you have my sympathies. The answer to your question is that you can t control what your husband says or does with your son, so long as he is not violating any legal...

Divorce Issues: ex-husband's wife, compassionate ear, step mom
compassionate ear, step mom, proportionate share: Hi Karon, Thanks for writing. I feel really badly about what you are going through, and having been in a similar situation myself years ago, I know how tough it is. I m not sure I bear the news you d most like to hear, my dear. The problem is, you cannot...

Divorce Issues: exes dating habits, choice issue, brother and sister
choice issue, brother and sister, personal choice: Hi Stacey, Unfortunately, though it sounds a little wierd to some, it isn t. It will maybe appear a little odd to others who may not be as open minded but your son and his girlfriend are not related in any way so there is nothing wrong with it at all....

Divorce Issues: How do I fix my, moments of clarity, divorce attorney
moments of clarity, divorce attorney, little contact: This really is a job for counseling and Alanon. You guys have made a mess on an heroic scale. Now only that, .... God help me for having to say this... I m still not sure you ve even taken Step One. Certainly it doesn t sound like you are at step four...which...

Divorce Issues: Guilt in divorce, cold feet, health check
cold feet, health check, post partum: Dear Alyssa, I am not minimalizing your feelings, but if this became markedly worse after the birth of your son, it could be hormonal. Try talking with your ob/gyn about the situation. I m not saying this is the entire answer, but it could be playing a...

Divorce Issues: guilt, psychology games, first kiss
psychology games, first kiss, birth family: Dear Tracy, If you have asked G~D to forgive you and repented of that sin of trickery, which means not to do it again, then by HIS Son, you are forgiven. John 3:16 spells that out as well as Romans 5:8. Now what I believe is going on is simply a spiritual...

Divorce Issues: when to inform teenage son leaving for college, parenting decisions, emotional independence
parenting decisions, emotional independence, emotional disturbance: Hi Nina, There is no good or right time to tell a child about divorce or separation. No matter the age, the child will feel distressed to some extent about it. It is OK for children to feel this, as we cannot protect them from the distresses and disappointments...

Divorce Issues: Kids mother, pink pills, christmas eve
pink pills, christmas eve, special time: Lure the children to your place with something really fun. When they get to your place, work on the depth of your relationship with them. Have more indepth conversations wtih them about what is on their minds, look them in their eyes a lot, hug them. Basically,...

Divorce Issues: letting go, belove, infidelities
belove, infidelities, 7 months: Okay. Good. So you think it s already happened. You really don t trust him or his commitment and, #2, he basically already knows this. And because of his infidelities you didn t trust him anyway and you were right. The French have an expression about...

Divorce Issues: New boyfriend's ex is his best friend and they go on vacations with the children, setting boundaries, vague answers
setting boundaries, vague answers, ommission: Hi Lisa, Thanks for your question. It really does sound a lot like a question I recently answered. A lot. I don t remember my advice on the other question so let s see whether I come close to what I said. I do think you are stuck till after the holidays....

Divorce Issues: In Ohio Drunkedness or ??, social security check, personality change
social security check, personality change, grounds for divorce: Dear Lynn, I ve given a great deal of thought to your problem. To be honest, I m not sure I have a solution for this situation that will be to your all around advantage. First, I think you need some sort of support group. When you say it is my fault ....

Divorce Issues: My rights, separation and divorce, contractual agreement
separation and divorce, contractual agreement, emotional abuse: Hi Lesley, Sorry for the delay in replying with it being Christmas etc it has been hectic, even question wise. May I just ask you if there was any contractual agreement between you and your partner stating that he would support you etc? It is hard to make...

Divorce Issues: stuck in the middle, new girlfriend, negative qualities
new girlfriend, negative qualities, family drama: Hi Sarah, I sure do feel for you. This is a tough situation, and your mother ought to know better than to put you in the middle of this nastiness. Apparently she does not, but if I were you, I would please for her to make an appointment with a Marriage...

Divorce Issues: Want my husband back, alanon meetings, alcohol addiction
alanon meetings, alcohol addiction, sad conclusion: I can t really tell whether you can win him back or help him with his drinking. I can only tell you what so many others have learned: You can t help him with his drinking. This is the wisdom of Alanon, the organization devoted to helping those who are in...

Divorce Issues: Now What?, realationship, time in my life
realationship, time in my life, ultimatum: Good for you. This is what you need to do. Your goal is to learn how to be sure you stand up for yourself and take care of yourself. And then to learn to do this while in the context of a relationship. He sounds very difficult and like he doesn t...

Divorce Issues: advise, maintenance payments, father time
maintenance payments, father time, visitation rights: Move on with your life. Just as this has been a transition for you, your moving on will be a transition for all involved. They will get used to it in time. Don t back down. Do your best to accommodate all your children as you can. You can transition into...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend still lives with ex, separate rooms, 4 months
separate rooms, 4 months, spending time: I think your intuition is right. Something is a little off, something about this doesn t feel right. Intuition is always a guess, a feeling, not anything specific you can observe but a pattern that suggests possibilities There are two parts to the pattern...

Divorce Issues: My boyfriend and his exwife are too good of friends and it hurts me., dating a married man, exwife
dating a married man, exwife, great relationship: I think you are in an triangle which is interlocked with another triangle. There is a symmetry between his ex s being in relationship with a married man and also being very close to him...and your relationship with him while he remains so close to his ex....

Divorce Issues: Child Visitation, one pair of shoes, divorce decree
one pair of shoes, divorce decree, neccessities: Dear Harold, I don t know the age of your children, but an attempt to modify custody is always possible, especially if there is an indication of neglect. This may be something you would want to look into before she moves. That s a pretty big move for kids...

Divorce Issues: Credit Prevention, repossessions, repossession
repossessions, repossession, retail value: Dear Sara, I know this is going to sound like a complicated solution, but I suggest that if he wants these items, he continues to pay for them, and you will be a woman of good intentions and when they are paid for, sign them over to him. It may be a little...

Divorce Issues: Custody Issues, custody, evidence
custody, evidence, admissability of evidence: Hi Charles, what a tough situation to find yourself in. There are many questions that a representing attorney would ask you to give you an estimate as to your chances in a custody case, as well as whether the old diaries could be used in evidence; the latter...

Divorce Issues: co signer on car, divorce papers, co signer
divorce papers, co signer, co borrower: Dear Tiffany, Turning it in, is allowing it to be repossessed and not only will it be detrimental to your credit, you will more than likely cause your ex-husband s credit to be marred and the debt revert to him. Now, if you wanted the car that was paid for...

Divorce Issues: Daughter's wedding, black mail, good relationship
black mail, good relationship, speaking terms: Dear Keith, My husband s daughter did the exact same thing to him, over money. The sad thing is, it seems these young ladies manage to get plenty of support in their decisions and disrespect of their fathers. My husband was furious and hurt and embarrassed,...

Divorce Issues: Divoece issues, legal ramifications, dear teresa
legal ramifications, dear teresa, household bills: Dear Teresa, I am not a Georgia attorney, so all I can offer is general information and my own perspective. If the shed is on your land, I believe it now belongs with the property, as an improvement. I am not an attorney, but usually the destruction of...

Divorce Issues: Divorce / Wage garnishment, bearer of bad news, divorce decree
bearer of bad news, divorce decree, credit card debt: Dear Keri, I do not want to be the bearer of bad news, but I m afraid you are on the short end of this stick. It seems, even though it is in the divorce decree, I don t think the court will pursue him over debt, unless you file a garnishment. Now, about...

Divorce Issues: dealing with boyfriends recent divorce, horrible stuff, introspection
horrible stuff, introspection, boyfriends: It s simple. I ve worked with so many women in this position. If you ve not been married, it s hard to understand that a marriage is Ten Thousand Threads. For all the horrible stuff, there is still the history and the time together and the intimacy, even...

Divorce Issues: divorce, long term marriages, mental evaluation
long term marriages, mental evaluation, visitation rights: Dear Cesar, I am not an attorney, but there are a few simple basic things that happen in most divorces, regardless of the accusations of the divorcing couple. First, if you live in a no fault state, your wife s cheating will make no difference. If the two...

Divorce Issues: divorce, dating a married man, trust issue
dating a married man, trust issue, public record: Dear Laura, I sense a trust issue, already. Maybe you could simply tell him you are not comfortable dating a married man, and he will produce the paperwork. Some counties do make filings public, often listed in the paper, but sometimes it isn t public record...

Divorce Issues: divorce, lump sum payment, fault divorces
lump sum payment, fault divorces, custody issues: Dear A. Why has he already received his lump sum payment before the decree? I am not an attorney, but I think you need to inform the attorneys that if he doesn t sign, the terms will change, including alimony and child support. A judge will be able to track...

Divorce Issues: divorce and house, getting a divorce, room mate
getting a divorce, room mate, boarder: Dear Steven, Do you have to keep the house in the divorce? If she s not willing to take it, then the only way to get out from under a house is to sell it. You could possibly rent it out, but then you still have rent somewhere. I suppose you could take...

Divorce Issues: divorced male with a 4yr. old little girl, pink carpet, purple paint
pink carpet, purple paint, high paying job: You ll have to consider the quality of your relationship with her. No matter how many material goods you supply, her decision about whether she loves you will be based whether you paid attention to her, listened to her, gave sincere advice, took care of her...

Divorce Issues: Ex & New G/f, stupid reasons, alimony
stupid reasons, alimony, 5 months: You are correct. Your ex is looking toward his future and getting much more tired of his past marriage. Unfortunately, he feels letting go of everyone attached to his past marriage can be done. I think he s got what people call senioritis . Like high...

Divorce Issues: ex-husband, parent child relationship, adult interaction
parent child relationship, adult interaction, long term solution: Your daughter can answer the phone or someone else in the house could answer it. That 12 hour things sounds ridiculous. You should get a lawyer who can handle such foolishness. What is he calls your cell as you are getting prepared for bed, but you don...

Divorce Issues: Father pride, woman cooks, father pride
woman cooks, father pride, biological sister: Thanks Kelly, You are not the first child to become your parent s marriage and family therapist. It s a difficult job and for the children who take it on, almost always impossible and thankless. You have love for both of them, and you probably see a lot...

Divorce Issues: Fleeing overseas with child, upper middle class, dual citizenship
upper middle class, dual citizenship, german background: Dear Alan, I think you should discreetly discuss this matter with an attorney. Tell him exactly what you told me, but ask him if there is any precaution or legal measure you can take to protect your rights. You used the term, increasingly unstable. That...

Divorce Issues: My boyfriend and his exwife are too good of friends and it hurts me., boyfriends, healthy boundaries
Divorce Issues: My boyfriend and his exwife are too good of friends and it hurts me., boyfriends, healthy boundaries, ultimatum

Divorce Issues: House, imter spousal transfer deed, marriage
imter spousal transfer deed, marriage, divorce: You are too nice! The best way is to go online and find a free interspousal Transfer Deed form. You sign this in front of a notary and then record it in your County recorder office. If you use an interspousal transfer then there will be no tax consequence...

Divorce Issues: Husband left with child, and filed for a divorce and has custody, mind body and spirit, custody battle
mind body and spirit, custody battle, quality time: Dear Jenny, I am so very sorry for the pain you are feeling. I am not an attorney, but I have prayed about your circumstances and I have a couple of things I d like to mention. First, if your attorney is telling you, it looks like things will go your husband...

Divorce Issues: hes moved on, friends wife, horrible story
friends wife, horrible story, dumb man: Hi Carla. First of all, I send you whatever comfort I can. It s a horrible, horrible story. My sense of you from the way you tell it is that you are still in shock. So you are still wrapping your mind around it. Eventually you ll get really really...

Divorce Issues: Living separately, then divorce., california lawyer, excess money
california lawyer, excess money, friend work: Dear Andy, I am not a California lawyer, but I think I can help with some of your questions. Without children and the fact that she left, she probably won t be eligible for alimony or maintenance, but if they are married for ten years and she doesn t remarry,...

Divorce Issues: how to obtain divorce when location of spouse is unknown., dear jennifer, possible resources
dear jennifer, possible resources, ywca: Dear Jennifer, I really don t know, considering the circumstances, if you can accomplish what you want, without an attorney. I do think you need to contact a woman s shelter in your area, and perhaps they could help you obtain legal aid, and pursue some...

Divorce Issues: Property settlement, real estate values, equity settlement
real estate values, equity settlement, dear linda: Dear Linda, Even when one spouse offers the house, usually there is some sort of equity settlement. Let me offer a few ideas for negotiation. First, he doesn t automatically have a 1/3 of the value coming. What he would probably be legally entitled to,...

Divorce Issues: relationship, relationship question, distant relationship
relationship question, distant relationship, face book: I do understand that dynamic of not wanting to set and example for the girls of non marital sex. Many conscientious parents have that little rule. The girls have probably actually discussed this and have made up their mind. Many children of divorce have told...

Divorce Issues: Second Part Time Job, court divorce, part time job
court divorce, part time job, temp service: Dear Nikki, I am hesitant to tell you one way or another right now, because even though the two of you have come to an agreement, the judge and the courts can still make a different determination, and frequently that is based upon the non-custodial parent...

Divorce Issues: Still in love with soon to be ex husband, divorce, counseling pastor
divorce, counseling pastor, jesus: Hi Erin, Tough question. Every situation is unique and it s so hard to say what is the right path to take. The fact that he said he didn t want marriage but only some sort of a relationship really just leaves you in the lurch, doesn t it? What in...

Divorce Issues: shocked, shampoo bottles, fat ugly women
shampoo bottles, fat ugly women, violence sex: Dear Tara, Run and do not look back. Even if this guy is making up any part of it, that is how his mind works. Why in the world would you care if he didn t like you? You say you are a virgin, then clearly you ve maintained your chastity. Is this the kind...

Divorce Issues: shocked, shampoo bottles, fat ugly women
shampoo bottles, fat ugly women, violence sex: Hi Tara, This man is purely disgusting if he is doing all the things you say. Absolutely do not discuss this blog with him!! It is not up for any kind of discussion ... You are actually asking me if you should dump him?? Are you kidding... of course...

Divorce Issues: statue of limitations, law suits, exceptional circumstances
law suits, exceptional circumstances, statue of limitations: Dear Deb, Statute of limitations usually applies to either criminal charges and in the case of civil court, usually to mal-practice or injury law suits. Many states are actually no fault regarding divorce, so the reasons for filing would be irrelevant. ...

Divorce Issues: stipulalation appeal, physical custody, time factor
physical custody, time factor, straight answer: Dear Robert, I am not an attorney and each state has different laws regarding divorce and appeal. I m not sure if appeal is possible, but I m sure if it is, there is a time factor, probably a brief one, so my recommendation is this. Contact the court clerk...

Divorce Issues: Taxes, cheating spouse, divorce
cheating spouse, divorce: Dear Robert, I m sorry. A cheating spouse is really not easy to deal with. You are right on the line for living separately half the year, so I would say which ever way would most benefit you, would be acceptable. Keep in mind, if you file jointly, she...

Divorce Issues: TRUE INTENTIONS, ups and downs, new boyfriend
ups and downs, new boyfriend, true intentions: Hi Jessie, Without speaking to her, I really don t know what her motivation is. Many times the ex will stil associate with relatives because they liked each other and got along well. There s nothing wrong with that. The fact that she is still calling...

Divorce Issues: Almost 2 yrs, harassment charges, peace in my life
harassment charges, peace in my life, physical relationship: Dear Sheri, I m sorry I haven t been able to offer more encouragement, and I m so sorry it feels like a bondage for you. I am not familiar with specific family law in Alabama. I do think you need to have an attorney representing your best interests and...

Divorce Issues: Abandonment, divorce court, financial stress
divorce court, financial stress, credit card debt: Dear Dottie, The debt would be divided in some way in divorce court and if you are behind in mortgage payments, that s a different issue. It sounds like some of the marital problems could be financial stress. As far as help for women, I guess you could...

Divorce Issues: Advice on entering into a marriage..., james dobson, holiday periods
james dobson, holiday periods, custodial father: You are not toxic. Remember that all couples have to go through a period where they must become accustomed to sharing a life together. That is natural and 5% of non-perfection is great. Other people have a higher percentage. I think that in time both of...

Divorce Issues: BAD CO SIGN, repossession, rena
repossession, rena, creditors: Dear Rena, That is the problem with co-signing. Often the terms of the contract last longer than the relationship. I don t think any bank right now will re-write any existing loans to remove guarantors. The one thing to consider, if he does get behind,...

Divorce Issues: Child Support after Divorce, child support collections, relationship issues
child support collections, relationship issues, accurate answer: I am so sorry that you haven t received child support in years. Unfortunately, I only address relationship issues. I m deeply sorry that there is no relationship between father and son. For an accurate answer to your question, contact a lawyer in your area....

Divorce Issues: Children and divorce, children and divorce, married person
children and divorce, married person, point of view: Sorry. That was my first guess. I get asked that question a lot as you might imagine. I still have issues with Make him understand, but they would be different. Your goal is to help him think it through, it is not to lead him to a the conclusion you might...

Divorce Issues: Custody, control freak, divorce decree
control freak, divorce decree, dear ron: Dear Ron, Usually custody arrangements, child support, and visitation are all determined in a divorce decree. Having never been married to your son s mother, leaves you at somewhat of a disadvantage. If she is unwilling to allow visits on your own, then...

Divorce Issues: Can I continue like this?, egg shells, going places
egg shells, going places, councilor: You answered your own question. You are not happy. He is not happy. He refuses to improve. The two of you have done the best you can with no positive result. Finally, you said you can t keep this up. You said you are done. Now you need the courage to...

Divorce Issues: credit card debt responsibility, divorce proceedings, credit card debt
divorce proceedings, credit card debt, household goods: Dear Jerri Martin, Credit card debt can be tricky in divorce proceedings. If you can prove you purchased household goods, maybe a judge will order him to pay you some part of it, but the bottom line is, if you are the only name on the credit card, then even...

Divorce Issues: custody, parenting relationship, contempt of court
parenting relationship, contempt of court, sole control: There are two things that matter in this situation. They are safety and mental health. You have not complained of a safety issue. Now, at age 17, a child knows what he likes and dislikes as well as what may be good for him. So my advice to you is to let...

Divorce Issues: Divorce decree and debt, contempt charges, divorce decree
contempt charges, divorce decree, single mom: Dear Tami, A divorce decree does not alter or negate previously signed contracts of debt. I would imagine that the bank would not change the contracts, they usually won t. This is going to affect your credit, either way. My suggestion would be to get him...

Divorce Issues: Divorce/ exhusband with the other woman, fear of rejection, self esteem issues
fear of rejection, self esteem issues, exhusband: Not very likely that there s much you can do. There will be a lot of post-mortem thinking for you and it does sound like you are already doing that and being rather productive about it. There will come a time when you want to tell him that you are sorry...

Divorce Issues: divorce and court, small claims court, divorce decree
small claims court, divorce decree, decree states: Dear James, I hope you have an attorney representing you, as this sounds like an enterprising individual, you are dealing with. As for the credit card, I can offer three thoughts, one being that since you were married, it may have been considered joint...

Divorce Issues: divorce entitlements, divorce entitlements, divorce cases
divorce entitlements, divorce cases, own insurance: Dear Sandy, Probably you will receive a considerable portion of his retirement, especially since you have sacrificed a career to raise the children. Now, as to the house, in most cases, whomever keeps the house, pays the other one, half of the equity that...

Divorce Issues: Ex taking our child for overnights at girlfriend's home, relocation issues, new girlfriend
relocation issues, new girlfriend, wknd: There definitely needs to be one-on-one time between father and son. This is the basis of their relationship. Considering that marriage is only a possibility at this time, the dad s time should be split between spending time with girlfriend and his son and...

Divorce Issues: Husband still owns business with ex-wife, expert answer, intelligent business
Divorce Issues: Husband still owns business with ex-wife, expert answer, intelligent business, genetic defect

Divorce Issues: Grandpa's 80th birthday follow-up, wide berth, ugly details
wide berth, ugly details, observational skills: Hi. Thanks so much. I breath a sigh of relief after getting your feedback. Sometimes I do go out on a limb and it s sometimes hard to find a generous framing. You have to see a lot to do it. Your intuition is captured by the ugly details and that s a kind...

Divorce Issues: Hiring a divorce lawyer, divorce lawyer, divorce decree
divorce lawyer, divorce decree, uncontested divorce: Dear Loraine, Retaining the attorney is not so much the issue, as to where the divorce is filed. If the divorce is filed in S. Carolina, you will need to respond in that state, but your state of residence should already be made known in the paperwork upon...

Divorce Issues: House Selling, new perspective, breathing room
new perspective, breathing room, disrespect: Dear Grant, You sound like a very insightful young man. Although your mom may not be able to afford the payments; many women associate shelter with stability. Most women believe a home to be their security, therefore; even if she can t afford the payments,...

Divorce Issues: Husband still owns business with ex-wife, discipline actions, discipline action
discipline actions, discipline action, business partner: Hi. These triangles are always a delicate matter. From the way you ve described the situation, it sounds like a situation you are going to have to live with for a while, so it s important to find a way of seeing it and talking about it with your husband....

Divorce Issues: Married boyfriend, second chance, 9 months
second chance, 9 months, confrontation: That s an amazing story. I ve seen stuff like this before but never so extreme. Usually they are just separated and they guy claims they are divorced. I feel for you and I feel for him. He s got a couple soft spots in his mind. Usually guys who do this...

Divorce Issues: Missing my child, wonderful woman, different city
wonderful woman, different city, rest of my life: I remember liking the book Mom s House; Dad s house. It s been a while. I do thing your girlfriend is a key player and I hope you share this with her. You ll want your son to have a good relationship with your ex s partner and a good relationship with...

Divorce Issues: My mother still in contact with my ex-husband, wonderful man, myspace
wonderful man, myspace, 3 years: Your mother can have a friendship with anyone she chooses. You can t stop that. Also, she does not have to like your husband. Only you have to like him. I say you should not argue with her about it because of the reasons I mentioned before and because...

Divorce Issues: post divorce anger - getting past the loss, angry feelings, new girlfriend
angry feelings, new girlfriend, mental abuse: It seems you want his cooperation and he plans not go give it to you. And it seems this has been going on for years. You are correct that it is time to let it go. One piece of advice I give people is FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU CAN NOT HAVE WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE....

Divorce Issues: prison divorce, cheap divorce, uncontested divorce
cheap divorce, uncontested divorce, local court: Call your local court. They will tell you what paper work has to be filed to complete a prison divorce. You also need to consult them in order to find out under what circumstances can you get a prison divorce. But I do believe a prison divorce is cheap...

Divorce Issues: Repossess truck with unpaid loan, divorce agreement, marital debt
divorce agreement, marital debt, uncontested divorce: Dear Keith, I am not sure if there are any laws on the books that directly address your question, but I will offer this. There are a number of people that have been paying their rent, but are being evicted because their landlords default on a mortgage. ...

Divorce Issues: revenge, nothing but time, secret affair
nothing but time, secret affair, moral high ground: Sorry. Why don t you take this over to direct email or specify privacy or arrange for a phone consult and I can serve you better. It would seem to me, just on the surface, (and that s all I have) that you have a stake in his income and that destroying it...

Divorce Issues: Second guessing the divorce, sexual relationship, trust issues
sexual relationship, trust issues, female friend: Well Tasha, Now that you have shared more details, I can see why you feel the two of you are not really going the same direction. My suggestion and it is only a suggestion, remember this is your life. Go ahead and separate if you are tired of being his...

Divorce Issues: Second wife relationship with first wife, wife relationship, second wives
wife relationship, second wives, exwife: Dear Corey, I think I can offer some insight, as I also am a second wife, and have unfortunately been that, more than once. I realize you do not want to be in the middle of this request situation, but on the other hand, you might feel a big left out if...

Divorce Issues: Seperation and Missing my child, wonderful woman, different city
wonderful woman, different city, rest of my life: HI. Tough call. I will tell you that by the time the boy is 7 or so your relationship with him will have deepened and, unless you make some serious mistakes, he ll long for you and cherish his time with you. You will be bonded. If your girlfriend is down...

Divorce Issues: Seperation and missing my child, wonderful woman, different city
wonderful woman, different city, rest of my life: You ve got to treat yourself much better than you are right now. Your needs and feelings are not optional. Cutting off relations with your son or stopping your relationship with your girlfriend would be denying your need for either of them. You need them...

Divorce Issues: Severing Paternal Rights, kansas city kansas, proper paperwork
kansas city kansas, proper paperwork, paternal rights: Dear Sonnet, If he hasn t been in her life up to this point, he s already not exercising his parental rights. The reason I mention this is two fold. One, the courts won t usually remove a parent from a child s birth certificate because the court stands...

Divorce Issues: Step parenting, parental relationship, step parenting
parental relationship, step parenting, step parents: Dear Ron, You sound like a great guy, and step parents do have visitation rights in many states. I can t give you the specifics for yours, but if it s written into the divorce and presented to the judge, most judges do not want to deprive a child of a positive...

Divorce Issues: starting a new life, care taking, co-dependency
care taking, co-dependency, divorce: The feeling doesn t really go away. You just have to manage it. You re probably one of those caretaker-types. It s a good quality. Maybe a bit out of balance. In psychology we say it s over-driven, which means it s too much of a priority and has a mind...

Divorce Issues: Am I suffering from depression because of my divorce?, divorce complaint, painful divorce
divorce complaint, painful divorce, marital counseling: Erin, I do hope you are in therapy. You are overwhelmed and it s pretty serious. First of all your ex is treating you with extreme contempt. Some of the treatment is quite abusive. Yet it seems like you still long for him. Most likely it is a form of...

Divorce Issues: Trying to Understand Divorce, divorce proceeding, discovery phase
divorce proceeding, discovery phase, stress and strain: When someone is determined to start a war, your best strategy is to be prepared to fight it. She may be crazy and out of control (I ll speculate in a moment on why) but it doesn t matter. Your first task is to defend yourself. Sometimes people like this...

Divorce Issues: Worried about my Ex, bad temper, mortal fear
bad temper, mortal fear, husband and wife: You are a kind soul. It s a hard spot you are in. There is only so much you can do. A metaphor: you are on a dock and there is someone drowning. You can pull them out only if you are firmly anchored yourself. Otherwise they pull you in and you both drown....

Divorce Issues: My 11 y/o is starting to act out, behavior issues, mouthy
behavior issues, mouthy, professional books: Hi Nicole, Thanks for the question. I m a little behind the curve on non-professional books for step dads so I can t recommend anything at the moment. If you find something that works, please write me and let me know. I have a couple reactions to your...

Divorce Issues: 3 year old daughter w/ divorced parents, smart girl, stop thinking
smart girl, stop thinking, pre school: A little bit of the issue here is that you are just catching on to the fact that she knows what is going on. Stop thinking she does not know. This will end your shock about her manipulating the situation. It will also allow you to parent her more proactively....

Divorce Issues: Abandonment divorce, abandonment divorce, divorce papers
abandonment divorce, divorce papers, divorce decree: Dear Carla, I am not an attorney, but if he is served, he has to sign the paperwork for the official that serves him. That paperwork is simply the proof that the individual is aware of some proceeding that involves them. The actual divorce decree usually...

Divorce Issues: absent spouse, marriage and divorce, absent spouse
marriage and divorce, absent spouse, divorce laws: Dear Sheila, You can file for a divorce, but before it can be decreed the other party must be served or every attempt exhausted, so yes filing is possible, but finalizing may be a bit complicated. If you have a P.O. Box address, then perhaps you could send...

Divorce Issues: Should I beleive him, friend maggie, physical pleasure
friend maggie, physical pleasure, relatioship: Oh God. What you hare to deal with is going to be so incredibly hard. You re probably right in your hunch that she s his lover. It s even a reasonable possibility that she stole him away from you and that they had an affair going on well before the separation....

Divorce Issues: Car loan following divorce, divorce decree, husbands name
divorce decree, husbands name, loan company: Dear Matthew, Realizing the economy is not what it was just months ago, I can t speak for certain, but I can tell you what the situation has been for several years before this national fiasco. Traditionally, a divorce does not alter the original contract....

Divorce Issues: Changeing parents in a divorce, custody proceeding, school counselor
custody proceeding, school counselor, step dad: Dear Lee, I am not an attorney, but as far as I am aware, it is parents who seek custody of the child, rather than the child determine it. Depending upon the age of the child, sometimes a judge will ask the child s preference, but again, this is through...

Divorce Issues: Controlling stepmom, small business owner, latchkey kids
small business owner, latchkey kids, foodstamps: Long question. You know I can t really do an assessment of another person with whom I have not spoken. So it s tricky. I can look at the whole arrangement. Some clues here. Here is a good one: how she has to go to a counselor to find out why she...

Divorce Issues: Custody, worse case scenario, hell story
worse case scenario, hell story, mama and papa: I m so sorry. Another ex wife from hell story, and one of the darker ones, I m afraid. Money makes a big difference. And it could well take legal action. Although that s the worse case scenario and you don t want to have to go there. Also, if you...

Divorce Issues: child separation, time to come home, fri
time to come home, fri, mother in law: Well you get a medal for owning up to that one. And also you get mountains of sympathy from me. I had forgotten how hard it was and then I spent a few months with my Daughter and son-in-law and I saw how hard they worked and how exhausted she was at the...

Divorce Issues: custody, initial consultations, settlement money
initial consultations, settlement money, week ends: Dear Hayley, If SRS will do nothing, then the only option you would have would be to hire an attorney and sue for custody. Here s another thought. You might try talking with the school about the way the children are sent to school, and your concern for...

Divorce Issues: Dating and Kids after divorce, abusive relationship, adult issues
abusive relationship, adult issues, great man: Explain to him that he can t think he s the man of the house because he is only a child. Tell him that it s easier for a ten year old to act as a ten year old because he doesn t understand adult issues. Of course you know to tell him that the important people...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, Adultry, Custody & Alimony--TX, standard visitation, visitation rights
standard visitation, visitation rights, overnight guests: Dear Concerned Sister, First I have to tell you, Texas is kind of it s own unique place when it comes to certain laws, and family law in Texas is not always the same as many of the other states. Here is the perfect example of the difference in Texas. Texas...

Divorce Issues: Divorce-seperating property, divorce in california, legal divorce
divorce in california, legal divorce, divorce decree: Dear Tracie, One of the main purposes of a divorce is to divide property. I have seen divorces in which the property is agreed to be maintained or retained by one party for a certain period of time, but there is some sort of disposition date or circumstances...

Divorce Issues: Divorcing with kids in college, highschool graduation, happy relationship
highschool graduation, happy relationship, wife need: She s old enough to know you and your wife need to get divorced. You are not deceiving her with this plan of staying together for her sake. Whenever you start the divorce process everyone will be effected somehow. So any time after highschool graduation...

Divorce Issues: Getting over being a drama queen, divorce proceedings, itemised bill
divorce proceedings, itemised bill, eyes of god: Thank you. It s a pleasure for me to once again be working with someone from South Africa. You are the third person I ve talked to in the past ten years. It s sort of thrilling for me to doing this work globally. I m in Montreal. I tend to look at situations...

Divorce Issues: Ex spouse sends me marraige invitation, mid life crisis, private problem
mid life crisis, private problem, profile positions: Hi Jenai, Very interesting story. I was just working with someone else on a similar issue. When does it stop? Maybe never. You still hold a position of very high importance in his life s story. He does in yours, too, although maybe not so much. ...

Divorce Issues: Ex Wife, exwife, intimate relationship
exwife, intimate relationship, cat fight: The red flag you are not seeing is that he hates drama and conflict. This could mean that he would rather accommodate and go along than take a stand. Such people, in shrink talk, are said to have boundary issues. These people also, often, place a premium...

Divorce Issues: the ex wife, cohabitation contract, dirty clothes
cohabitation contract, dirty clothes, single mom: Dear GA, I am not sure what a cohabitation contract is. Is it binding and must be dismissed in court or something? If you can leave, I think you should. If you ve been there 2 years, and this is the progress that has made been made, your boyfriend and...

Divorce Issues: I want my husband back, testimony, marriage
Divorce Issues: I want my husband back, testimony, marriage, roots and herbs

Divorce Issues: giving the kids time, youngest son, 13 year old
youngest son, 13 year old, spending time: Dear Tracey, Perhaps your guy needs to establish some ground rules with his ex. His son shouldn t feel so overwhelmed by this. I don t really think the 13 year old is trying to control, but rather keep peace in the home where he lives. Sounds like the...

Divorce Issues: house, asking for a divorce, hindsight
asking for a divorce, hindsight, arbitration: Dear Michelle, Hold on, here. Actually, all he would get is the equity gained in one year, which on a new house purchase is miniscule, and in this particular economy, probably even less. If you file for divorce, simply state that you would like to keep...

Divorce Issues: Immigration, Divorce and custody., divorce options, dual citizens
divorce options, dual citizens, tatyana: Dear Tatyana, I am not an attorney, but I have seen several cases that pertain to the issue you are facing. It seems, when the children are dual citizens, and one parent is not a citizen, but has been legal, then they are basically free to visit their...

Divorce Issues: Intro of new relationship to children of divorce, children of divorce, overnight guests
children of divorce, overnight guests, social functions: Dear John, I think your question has many parts, and I ve thought about this, so here s what I can offer. Having a man coming and going within days of the two of you separating, was absolutely inappropriate. A month after the separation, I m guessing she...

Divorce Issues: inappropriate behavior betwen my son and his dad, dog barks, broken tooth
dog barks, broken tooth, winkie: Aaarrghh! CPS! They should know better. Okay, you ll have to just keep pushing. Keep all records of all correspondence. Also, start a journal of all indicators and all the reasons you have for your suspicions. If you get into a court situation...

Divorce Issues: Married in Ohio Divorce in Illinois?, ohio divorce, dear brian
ohio divorce, dear brian, marriage license: Dear Brian, If you are now residents of Illinois, I would think you could in most cases. All states recognize opposite sex marriages from the other states. There is one oddity about an Ohio marriage, though. In that state, the marriage license includes...

Divorce Issues: Mother Denying Father Visitation, divorce in florida, restraining order
divorce in florida, restraining order, mediation: Maybe, It depends on many more of the surrounding facts. This is not an easy question to answer. However I dont think it is a good idea to do anything until the parties get into mediation and work it out with a neutral third party. Then once there is agreement...

Divorce Issues: Premarital Property, equitable distribution, mortgage payments
equitable distribution, mortgage payments, property taxes: Dear Charley, This is not a simple question for me, but I ll give it my best. From what I have read, the home would not be considered marital property at all, therefore not to be considered by the court through a divorce proceeding. If there is a child,...

Divorce Issues: Problems with my husbands ex wife, unnecessary difficulties, coat tails
unnecessary difficulties, coat tails, physical custody: You seem to have much less tolerance than he has for her spontaneous ways. It could be in part because you have less guilt. No matter. The issue is between you and your husband. You have framed it as though it were about her, the ex. That might set...

Divorce Issues: possible divorce abatement, belove, emotional breakdown
belove, emotional breakdown, abatement: Whatever you do now sets a precedent for how the relationship will work. If you ignore his drinking and lying about it, then you make it okay for him to do that and still have relationship privileges with you. You should have a therapist to help you draw...

Divorce Issues: Rent for community property, pre nup, stake a claim
pre nup, stake a claim, property question: Karla, This really isn t a simple matter. If you are on the note, then I hope you are on the deed. Getting off the mortgage note is not an easy thing to do, unless he s willing to refinance again. And keep in mind, just because you are on the mortgage...

Divorce Issues: Reservations about moving in, quiet home, living arrangement
quiet home, living arrangement, preschooler: He s being realistic. There are reasons to not play house here. 1. He s not ready to be a father to a young child and husband, 2. Your older son is not ready, 3. If he considers marriage the be second to moving in, he is not looking for a lot of commitment...

Divorce Issues: Separation Issues, adult friendship, unresolved conflicts
adult friendship, unresolved conflicts, mess on your hands: You have a mess on your hands. Here is a quote from me that appeared in Time Magazine a couple years ago. It was about how a divorce affects the adult friendship of the divorcing couple. The same thought applies times ten for the children: The state...

Divorce Issues: Separation Issues, negative feelings, separation issues
negative feelings, separation issues, three girls: Continue to get them every weekend. When you have them, you should talk to them as a group and individually about their feelings. They may have questions and doubts. I m guessing their mother lets them get away with things because she is busy. The probably...

Divorce Issues: I want my husband back, friends with benefits, court house
friends with benefits, court house, knees: I m not sure what you mean by let him take the lead. I d need to hear more, but if he means decide when to deal with those other issues, that s a delicate question. When he s ready to deal with those other issues he ll be ready for a relationship. Until...

Divorce Issues: why is it always me, team mates, honest communication
team mates, honest communication, parents and children: Now, clarify something for me. Is it that you argue over stupid things or something serious? You said you fell out over something stupid the other day but now you say it s something serious. How can he be responsible for something he did in his sleep? ...

Divorce Issues: What to do with 2 year old dealing with divorce, dealing with divorce, mom and dad
dealing with divorce, mom and dad, old mom: He definitely must be allowed to express his feelings about all the changes. You can help him by speaking with him about his feelings. You may list off some feelings and find that he shows agreement with his behavior. That is when the two of you can really...

Divorce Issues: Blending two families after divorce, step mom, wonderful women
step mom, wonderful women, two families: You simply are not ready to be living with someone. You should not move in with her or try to raise other people s children until you are ready. You may want to get together wtih people who kow you well and figure out why you didn t do well in that situation....

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend's emotional ties with ex complicate our relationship, emotional ties, lunch dinner
emotional ties, lunch dinner, emotional bond: He sounds like he s trying to take care of his ex even as he wants some distance from her. So I imagine he is a kind and caring man. Of course his refusal to claim you as a girlfriend to his ex was the first big clue. It is the key issue. Until that happens...

Divorce Issues: "boss" issue, divorce, mid life crisis
divorce, mid life crisis, crazy girlfriend: Hi Lisa -- thanks for writing. I just signed up to be an expert and yours is my first question. OK ... so, when faced with any obstacle a person has three choices. The choices are: 1. Accept. 2. Change. 3. Eliminate. In this case this means you...

Divorce Issues: My boyfriend is still married., motorcycle accident, belove
motorcycle accident, belove, rest of my life: It sounds like you are being exploited and manipulated. This situation sounds bad and I wonder how you ever let it go this far. Possibly you got into this relationships while you were still in terrible grief. I d want you to kick him out right...

Divorce Issues: Confused, scared, clueless..., internet introduction, terminal cancer
internet introduction, terminal cancer, guilty man: Thanks for the feedback. I m glad you found the other answers useful. Strange and amazing story. It reminds me of several people I know who have defined themselves as poly-amourous, meaning one of them (usually the man) has other lovers besides his principle...

Divorce Issues: What about the children?, sole physical custody, contempt of court
sole physical custody, contempt of court, standard visitation: Dear Amy, This may sound rather harsh, but it is children we are talking about, and they need care. Document all the times he refuses to care for his children and keep all receipts with dates for the times you have had to get child care without notice. ...

Divorce Issues: Dating a mother of two, genuine independence, possessiveness
genuine independence, possessiveness, togther: It s a good question. I think you are right to insist. What makes me think so is his comment about it being comical. That suggests to me a certain contempt on his part for your role in his life. He has a thing or two to learn. What lets you know...

Divorce Issues: I don't know what to do and so confused...., ex's who are friends, divorce and dating
ex's who are friends, divorce and dating, Becky Whetstone: Hi Carrie, Well, this a problem I hear fairly frequently ... and it basically involves two former spouses who are unwilling, for whatever reason, to cut the umbilical cord that has existed between them for so many years. That umbilical cord is an emotional...

Divorce Issues: Exhusband acting jealous after 8 years of divorce, roommate situation, exhusband
roommate situation, exhusband, information results: First off, you ve got to stop the flow of information to him. I assume he calls the house and your daughter ends up telling him the arrangement for the night. She s old enough to know that giving him that information results in bad things happening. Tell...

Divorce Issues: ex-spouse harassment, walmat, phone conversations
walmat, phone conversations, relationship problems: Sounds like harassment. You might be able to go to court on your own and get a restraining order. He ll be invited to show up and the judge will hear both sides and then decide. This part here sounds like a violation: I didn t want him to come to my house....

Divorce Issues: ex-wife harrassment, crazy ex, harrassment
crazy ex, harrassment, divorce stress: Hi Matt, Boy, you ARE in a pickle, and a serious one at that. I am sorry for your distress. Divorce does crazy things to people, and it sounds like your ex wife is no exception. I wish I had more information about how your wife is finding out about...

Divorce Issues: exhusband, exhusband, jealous wife
exhusband, jealous wife, couple times: He a man who can t yet be loyal to one woman and she s a woman who steals other women s partners. Neither of them has a conception of a stable two person relationship and both are accustomed to having a secret love and being involved in cheating. He s...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend's emotional ties with ex complicate our relationship, couple days, freezer
Divorce Issues: Boyfriend's emotional ties with ex complicate our relationship, couple days, freezer, best friends

Divorce Issues: My boyfriend is still married., kristi, mays
Divorce Issues: My boyfriend is still married., kristi, mays, money

Divorce Issues: ex-wife harrassment, going to jail, harassment
Divorce Issues: ex-wife harrassment, going to jail, harassment, discipline problems

Divorce Issues: exhusband, spell caster, kind man
Divorce Issues: exhusband, spell caster, kind man, mama

Divorce Issues: I hate my boyfriends relationship with his EX, alex cooper, amazon
Divorce Issues: I hate my boyfriends relationship with his EX, alex cooper, amazon, bookstores

Divorce Issues: I hate my boyfriends relationship with his EX, wife relationship, cold things
wife relationship, cold things, full custody: Yeah, you guys are going to have to talk about this. You really said it right. He needs to stay in contact with his son s mother. In a way, she is really like family to him. If you are going to have a relationship, you both are going to have to figure...

Divorce Issues: not invloving bf with my children, kids and divorce, step parents
kids and divorce, step parents, boyfriends and kids: Hi Nicole, What dilemmas we face when being single moms who enjoy dating and relationships! I know, I ve been there. Your intuition is informing you correctly, that so soon following a separation and divorce it is not the best idea to bring a new love...

Divorce Issues: Living with an ex and its killing me!, full time job, spilling my guts
full time job, spilling my guts, good relationship: Hard situation and not only that, it s hard times and hard to find work. Often in times like these couples find ways to work out their differences. I can t tell why you guys couldn t make it as a couple and it might be that this particular couple counselor...

Divorce Issues: Is legal separation an option?, 10th wedding anniversary, lengthy procedure
10th wedding anniversary, lengthy procedure, grad work: Dear Rayne, I think Pennsylvania is one of the states that has quite a lengthy procedure to even obtain a divorce. The circumstances may account for the length, I m not sure, but often times just a separation does not stop the potential for being responsible...

Divorce Issues: Need Copy Of DivorceDecree, divorce papers, seeking a job
divorce papers, seeking a job, legal matter: Dear Carla, I hope you still have a copy of what he sent you. Take that to an attorney and ask him the next step. Even if the divorce was not legit, you can probably avoid any bigamy problems by seeking to rectify the situation and showing the paper you...

Divorce Issues: New Boyfriend, high heaven, separation and divorce
high heaven, separation and divorce, none of your business: Hello again, Bobby. You can t know for sure, and none of us who have been single parents can know everything that is going with our children when they are not with us. Just because your former spouse is being secretive does not mean your child is in danger....

Divorce Issues: need modification on decree, helping mom, legal option
helping mom, legal option, final decree: Dear Enna, The only legal option I can recommend is that you talk with your attorney that represented you in the divorce. Of course, I don t know all the facts, but this settlement seems astronomical. I m guessing this is an equity split or something. ...

Divorce Issues: Is it OK to hang out with my boyfriend's young children?, kids, divorce
kids, divorce, exposing kids to girlfriends boyfriends: Hi Diana. Thanks for writing and asking me this question. Basically, your boyfriend is right on. What I consider in this situation is not so much what is healthy for you, but what is healthy for his children, which must be the top priority in such a...

Divorce Issues: Re-Marry??, divorce, marriage
divorce, marriage, when can couples marry after a divorce: Hi Jamy, Well, are you wondering about what the state law says about when you can re-marry, or are you wondering about what is healthiest for a person? In any case, I really need more details about what you want to know. If you want to know about it...

Divorce Issues: Refuses to sign final papers, divorce decree, uncontested divorce
divorce decree, uncontested divorce, mini van: Dear Amy, I think perhaps you need to be a bit more insistent and what I would call pro-active. Tell him or his attorney that you agreed to an uncontested divorce to save him money. If he is not going to proceed, then you will file and if he isn t going...

Divorce Issues: Rights for my daughter, sending money, dowry
sending money, dowry, plane ticket: Hi, Different countries of course have different laws regarding divorce and child custody. Legally in the US, if you left the child in his care and didn t return to him or the child, then that would be considered abandonment. Your dates are very etchy as...

Divorce Issues: Getting rid of a long-term headache, violent relationsips, breaking up
violent relationsips, breaking up, becky whetstone: Celia, Celia ... I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. While I was reading your question I was thinking, I hope she leaves or kicks him out! And then, you said you had plans to do that. This is the right thing. BUT, what got me, is at...

Divorce Issues: separation, divorce petition, life after divorce
divorce petition, life after divorce, initial separation: Amanda, I m sorry. You need some paperwork drawn up. Even if it is only a separation agreement, but I would recommend at least drawing up a divorce petition. If your state is not no fault, adultery would be the reason. I agree that this is too soon for...

Divorce Issues: separation agreement, charlene davis, pink slips
charlene davis, pink slips, divorce decree: Dear Charlene Davis, I have two ideas, and please remember, I am not an attorney. I first, would call the county clerk where your divorce was decreed. They will not answer legal questions, but they can answer procedural questions, if that makes sense. ...

Divorce Issues: social security garnishment procedures, security retirement benefits, social security retirement
security retirement benefits, social security retirement, legal matter: Dear Marcia, I am not an attorney and I ve done a bit of research regarding your question. This is a legal matter and I have two suggestions. You can call the court clerk where your divorce was granted, but they will not give legal advice, only general...

Divorce Issues: Time to go?, female family member, one last chance
female family member, one last chance, manageable disease: Hi Stephanie, Yes your letter sounded more like catharsis than question. I have a lot of thoughts about this process you are in. I m not sure there is a clear name for it. It s not really breaking up but more like thinking very seriously about it....

Divorce Issues: Adultry/Divorce, adultery, cheating
adultery, cheating, should I divorce: Hi Alesia, What you are experiencing is no doubt your own hell on earth, and I am so sorry for that. It is true that those having love affairs are in a trance, and they will lie and lie about whether or not the romance is continuing. The trance feels...

Divorce Issues: Against Divorce, marriage commitment, verbal agreement
marriage commitment, verbal agreement, supplication: Dear Steve, Your beliefs are just that, your beliefs, you stand strong in your convictions, as do others. Your wife has had a change of mind and has breached her verbal agreement to you as well as with the official marriage commitment. Fighting this simply...

Divorce Issues: absent spouse, absent spouse, last known address
absent spouse, last known address, case number: Dear Fran, I m not an attorney and the states do vary to a degree, but I believe there is a procedure for what you are facing. In my state, I believe the divorce is filed and then when the absent spouse cannot be served notice, there is a procedure for publicizing...

Divorce Issues: alimonty N.C., legal separation agreement, alimony payments
legal separation agreement, alimony payments, independent legal advice: Dear Linda, Not making his payments and retrieving his property seems as if its the only way he has any control and influence over other people and their actions. FYI- “Parties who enter into mediation do not forfeit any legal rights or remedies. If...

Divorce Issues: what does amened mean, divorce papers, stephanie
divorce papers, stephanie: Dear Stephanie, Amended means changed or modified and is supposed to be for the better. Check with your attorney. Something has been changed from when the papers were originally filed. Make sure you understand the changes and if the decree has been granted....

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend and recent divorce, separation period, none of my business
separation period, none of my business, couple hundred: So you see, your concerns open out onto very large and important issues you have about how to be in this or any relationship. Much of this is stuff you ve thought about,but not deliberately and not with careful reflection. With this you come very close to...

Divorce Issues: bad lawyer, bad lawyer, sweet person
bad lawyer, sweet person, child support: Your son is an adult. I m sure he is handling his ex in the manner he thinks is appropriate. You will do best to discuss this with him to see if he has, in fact, asked his lawyer to do anything. Maybe he s giving her some slack. Maybe he s just a really...

Divorce Issues: my boyfriend....should I trust him?, wife need, common bond
wife need, common bond, share one: Dear Jade, This may not be what you want to hear but, your boyfriend and his wife share one common bond, their children. Your boyfriend and his ex-wife need to communicate its inevitable and its crucial in the upbringing of their children. No one should...

Divorce Issues: Child Custody / Personal feelings, pinky finger, divorce decree
pinky finger, divorce decree, personal feelings: That is one of the most difficult situations I ve ever heard about. It s hard for me to think about it. My second thought was that if it was hard for me to understand how that relationship works, it s probably also hard for the kids to make sense...

Divorce Issues: Confused and resentful, post divorce issues, dating and divorce
post divorce issues, dating and divorce, parenting and divorce: Hi Rebecca, Thanks for writing about a couple of issues that comes up a lot, the question of whether a relationship or a child should come first, and, how involved should a parent be with a child who is almost an adult? First of all, since your boyfriend...

Divorce Issues: changing divorce papers, divorce agreement, divorce lawyer
divorce agreement, divorce lawyer, divorce papers: As stated in my profile, I am not a lawyer. I only consult on relationship issues that result from divorce. For an ACCURATE answer consult a LOCAL attorney. Of course, your divorce lawyer can help you request to have your financial arrangement reconsidered....

Divorce Issues: My childrens relasionship with soon to be step mom, abandonment issues, child psychologist
abandonment issues, child psychologist, mom time: If it s his relationship with the ex, there s not a lot you can do. It s such a petty act on his part and it says so much about him. One of my rules of thumb is that sooner or later in every new relationship you have a moment of great sympathy for your partner...

Divorce Issues: the childrens relationship with a soon to be ex, kids and divorce, step parents
kids and divorce, step parents, can kids see ex stepparent: Hi Wendy, My how divorce can weave a tangled mess ... what could be a neatly wound up ball of yarn ends up hopelessly snarled, snagged and stuck. And who does it hurt? The kids, of course. I feel badly that you have to co-parent with this moron of a...

Divorce Issues: Decision to be made, should I marry, boyfriend problems
should I marry, boyfriend problems, boyfriend ex wife: Hello Stacey, Thanks for writing, and from Canada! Dating men who are married and/or in the process of getting divorced is never easy. You are discovering first-hand all the pitfalls and problems that come with it, and it wouldn t surprise me if you...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, legal seperation, emergency jurisdiction
legal seperation, emergency jurisdiction, anger managment: There is no legal seperation unless a court grants one. Living together with your boyfriend will affect your ex emotionally. That will make him respond negatively. Of course, the court is has seen all types of jealousy so I would not worry about that. ...

Divorce Issues: Can a Divorce decree be amendded?, divorce decree, final decree
divorce decree, final decree, care giver: Dear Tracy, With his name on the BC and a paternity test verifying, he has rights! I would still recommend that he seek an attorney to protect his rights. An attorney may recommend that he seek custody. I can t say, depending upon the state and the circumstances,...

Divorce Issues: divorce, plastic sergeon, specific department
plastic sergeon, specific department, assault charges: Dear Sharon, Yes, your son can go to the state bar. If she vandalized the home, he can file a police report, as well. He can also contact family support division, most states have a specific department for that and file that he is not receiving his visitation...

Divorce Issues: divorce, habitual liar, relationship marriage
habitual liar, relationship marriage, addiction issues: Hi Rob, Very passionate and moving letter you ve written. I hope I can be helpful to you. There was so much that struck me. I hope I can do it all justice. My first thought when I read that she had an affair with one of the wealthy men who as a member...

Divorce Issues: divorce, dating and my 7year old, kids and divorce, Doctor Becky
kids and divorce, Doctor Becky, Becky Whetstone: Hi Erinn, I thought I had answered your follow-up question earlier, so if I am answering it twice, I apologize! I know that I thanked you for sending along more information, as it is very helpful. Now, here is what I said – there is no set time line...

Divorce Issues: divorce decree, Calling stepmom mom, divorce and kids
Calling stepmom mom, divorce and kids: Hi Caroline, So sorry you are faced with this difficult situation, especially when your heart is in the right place, as yours obviously is. No, I haven t heard of it being written in divorce decrees that a step parent can t be called mom or dad, but...

Divorce Issues: divorce as the other woman, divorce, cheating
divorce, cheating, affairs: Liz. What does that have to do with a car? The only thing I can think of is tin lizzy, the ancient name for a model T ford. Don t know why they called it lizzy. Anyway, the other women rarely wins. ThERE is a famous architecture team and she was...

Divorce Issues: divorce pain getting harder, not easier, fearless moral inventory, twelve step programs
fearless moral inventory, twelve step programs, exact nature: It s a midlife crisis thing. Time does not heal all wounds unless they are exposed to light, or consciousness. From what you say, it is clear that he is also still wounded, and still equally wounded. A lot of people have given these kinds of situations...

Divorce Issues: I divorced Satan and he won't leave me alone, mood swings, supervised visitation
mood swings, supervised visitation, childeren: Thank God you have a therapist. When you are dealing with this sort, treat them as dangerous criminals and involve as much law enforcement as you can. Do not appease them and they are very dangerous. Always expect the worst and then some. You are quite naive....

Divorce Issues: domestic problems, domestic abuse, health issue
domestic abuse, health issue, restraining order: Dear Jain, This is a continuation of abuse and control. Please contact the local women s shelter. This is somewhat unusual, but very much still abuse. If she has her own home, even if she doesn t, she is not your responsibility. If she has some sort of...

Divorce Issues: my ex husband an my four year old., dangerous actions, thoughts and feelings
dangerous actions, thoughts and feelings, wits end: Of course I don t know the entire story but I don t see a reason to terminate parental rights here. Your daughter has thoughts about every situation she finds herself. She needs to talk to you about them and get guidance from you about her feelings and understanding...

Divorce Issues: When to explain divorce?, step mom, tantrums
step mom, tantrums, best interest: Dear Sara, You son obviously knows that his father is not living with you because visiting his father twice a week is normal(I presume). At three years of age a child does not yet understand the dynamics of a divorce. His tantrums could be the cause of...

Divorce Issues: Boyfriend and recent divorce, wellbeing, good luck
Divorce Issues: Boyfriend and recent divorce, wellbeing, good luck, salary

Divorce Issues: divorce, dating and my 7year old, wonderful man, insecurities
Divorce Issues: divorce, dating and my 7year old, wonderful man, insecurities, teenage daughter

Divorce Issues: Is it my fault or is he giving up- drugs/depressio., pisces, fish
Divorce Issues: Is it my fault or is he giving up- drugs/depressio., pisces, fish

Divorce Issues: Mediation agreement not being followed, default judgement, contractual agreement
Divorce Issues: Mediation agreement not being followed, default judgement, contractual agreement, local court

Divorce Issues: Separation Looming?, financial responsibility, relationship
Divorce Issues: Separation Looming?, financial responsibility, relationship, money

Divorce Issues: How can I stop my husband from destroying himself with this affair?, zest, excitement
Divorce Issues: How can I stop my husband from destroying himself with this affair?, zest, excitement, relationship

Divorce Issues: false accusations, mold problem, false accusations
mold problem, false accusations, family therapist: Dear Korinn, It sounds as if your ex daughter-in-law has some issues she needs to address. Her reasons/Dramas are merely a small sign of being insecure. No doubt, everyone involved has the best interest of the children in mind. Ever here the saying You attract...

Divorce Issues: Is it my fault or is he giving up- drugs/depressio., suffering from depression, methadone
suffering from depression, methadone, relapse: Dear Brooke, Sadly this is what happens to some couples and the two of you have several issues that are enough to break a strong marriage. Addiction camouflages the symptoms and when the one addicted finally realizes it, it s often beyond the breaking point...

Divorce Issues: Help Needed regarding TO or NOT to Divroce, growing apart, Doctor Becky
growing apart, Doctor Becky, Pakistan relationships: Hi Usman, It amazes me that on this web site I hear from people all over the world. I also know that your culture is different from mine, and although I have counseled people from India before, I never have done therapy with individuals from Pakistan. So...

Divorce Issues: House, straightforward facts, getting a divorce
straightforward facts, getting a divorce, stability reasons: Dear Amy, I don t know of any tricks and I don t think I d recommend anything less than honesty, anyway. If there is the fear of abuse, that s another matter, in which a local woman s shelter could help you obtain paperwork and probably stay in the house,...

Divorce Issues: Husband addicted to porn, relationships, marriage
relationships, marriage, parenting: Hello Gwen, Depending in what state you filed, the time allotted after submitting a petition for divorce differs. In estimating your time of separation (about15months) the divorce, if not contested, should have finalized by now. (Contested divorces have...

Divorce Issues: Husband just had baby with other woman, tubal pregnancy, relatio
tubal pregnancy, relatio, miscarriages: You said he said that he s only looking out for the baby and it s his responsibility to be there to help out right now since she s recovering. Why does he want to come back to you? Why would he think that he will not become bonded to the child? Why...

Divorce Issues: house, quick claim deed, separate ways
quick claim deed, separate ways, norm: Dear Diane, I am not an attorney, but the house should not be considered marital property. And since he has not even contributed in the way of payments, I d say he s got no way to claim anything on it. Now, if he s made major improvements, such as a roof...

Divorce Issues: incarcerated husband, anullment, consumation
anullment, consumation, economical solution: Dear Patty, I m not an attorney, but considering there are two countries involved and the circumstances of jail or prison, I m guessing a divorce would be easier to obtain than an anullment. Anullments involve more details, with the question of consumation...

Divorce Issues: How to know if my wife divorced me?, girlfriend, proceedings
girlfriend, proceedings, relationship: I have no information for you about that. It s always best to keep a working relationship with your ex until those things are completed. This way you are informed of all proceedings and have copies of all forms. I m sure you know how to contact the county...

Divorce Issues: Lawyer like Husband, famimly violence marriage, abusive marriage
famimly violence marriage, abusive marriage, Doctor Becky: Hi Mary, Wow -- you do have problems. I don t really think I am going to be able to help that much with words that might be written here, you need an advocate! Have you thought about getting low or no cost therapy in your town? I am sure you must have a...

Divorce Issues: life after hell, relationship questions, divorce decree
relationship questions, divorce decree, daycare: As stated on my profile, I only answer relationship questions. For an ACCURATE answer to your question, contact a LOCAL attorney. 32 miles isn t too far to drive a couple times a month or several times a year. Some people drive that far to work daily. ...

Divorce Issues: Marriage falling apart, MS and marriage, unhappy marriage
MS and marriage, unhappy marriage, stay-at-home dads: Hi David, Wow, your question is really complicated. I am wondering if you could go to a therapist in your town to help you work with all of the details you mention here? I know there is low cost counseling available in almost every average-sized city. In...

Divorce Issues: Mediation agreement not being followed, mediation agreement, going to jail
mediation agreement, going to jail, legal opinion: I doubt it but I don t know. I m not a lawyer. You ve asked for a legal opinion and I can t give it. The last time I had a case like this, the guy brought so many legal actions that the court told him he had no more right to bring actions in this matter....

Divorce Issues: Meeting her children, secretive girlfriend, divorce
secretive girlfriend, divorce, introduce boyfriend to children: Hello Terry, Thanks for writing. Like you, I would be concerned if I was in a serious relationship with someone for many months who had not included or incorporated me into his or her life. In fact, I don t think I would be able to be serious with...

Divorce Issues: Moving towards Divorce., children and divorce, divorce acrimony
children and divorce, divorce acrimony, decision to divorce: Hi David, What a sad situation for you and all involved. I really feel for you. I m not a lawyer, but I can give you a family therapist s point-of-view. I don t know what your cultural and religious views may or may not be, as you could be influenced...

Divorce Issues: parenting after divorce, school assembly, question concerns
school assembly, question concerns, new man: When your ex asked you back and you two were planning to get a home together, there was no basis for a relationship. Therefore, there should have been no attempt to live together. If she s not emotionally stable, I can understand you hesitation to socialize...

Divorce Issues: penion, family, prepare
family, prepare, divorce: Dear Gloria, There are many ways to confront your situation. Every State varies in what each spouse is entitled to when proceeding with a divorce. Before you file, do your homework in accordance with the state you live in to become knowledgeable in what...

Divorce Issues: Separation Looming?, keeping the peace, retirement fund
keeping the peace, retirement fund, money situation: Hi Chris, You sure have some enormous problems on your hands, and I empathize with you. I once was involved in a similar situation .. I had financial security, and then married a man who leaned on me constantly for financial things. I gave and gave, and...

Divorce Issues: Step Mom, calling steppmom mom, kids and divorce
calling steppmom mom, kids and divorce, Doctor Becky: Hi Brad, I hate to tell you this, but I do not agree that you should insist that your daughter call your wife mom. I am adamantly opposed to insisting on this, and wish you could see all of my (now adult) clients I now see who deeply resent being forced...

Divorce Issues: sale of the marital home, mesher order, maintenance money
mesher order, maintenance money, equity share: I couldn t know the law in your area. Look!! The best thing to come from a divorce is freedom. So complete the process of getting yours. If repossession would free you of the debt and relocate your children to suitable housing, then let it happen. She...

Divorce Issues: seperation????, alcoholism and marriage, divorce decision
alcoholism and marriage, divorce decision, Doctor Becky: Hi Heather, What a story you have. And how difficult it must be to live and try to make a life with a man who has an addictive personality -- and he is an alcoholic, you know that, right? Being married to an addict feels like chasing a butterfly -- they...

Divorce Issues: How can I stop my husband from destroying himself with this affair?, elizabeth edwards, timely questions
elizabeth edwards, timely questions, secret affair: Timely questions. I read it today just after reading about the lastest U.S. senator to have an affair and destroy his career. I was also interested in Elizabeth Edwards story told in her recent book. She was battling cancer and her husband running for...

Divorce Issues: Transparency after second marriage, codependency, caretaking
codependency, caretaking, relationships: Hi again Rebecca, Thanks -- more information is always very helpful. The more context I have the more I can get the picture! In your latest contact, it sounds to me like your boyfriend has very codependent tendencies. There are many ways of being codependent...

Divorce Issues: Why can't he realize the effect of the divorce on the children?, divorce, dating
divorce, dating, children dating and divorce: Hi Charity, Divorce is not a great experience, no matter what. But divorce is defined as: cease or break association with, and means that you no longer have a say in your ex s escapades or actions, unless, of course they are harmful to the children. ...

Divorce Issues: Urgent....What do I tell my child?, what to tell kids in divorce, kids and divorce
what to tell kids in divorce, kids and divorce, telling the kids: Hi Noeline, I really feel for you during this stressful time, and appreciate that you want to do the best you can for your daughter. Reading your letter it sounds like your husband may have a personality disorder. The one I am thinking of is Borderline...

Divorce Issues: Betrayed by parelegal, pornography addiction, parenting class
pornography addiction, parenting class, speaking terms: Hello Gwen, I see you have gone forward with your life yet continue to collide with people that test your ability to trust. Take your situation, twist it and look at it from another standpoint. You said it yourself, I quote,” there is nothing more to discuss...

Divorce Issues: boyfriend's ex-wife, boyfriend and ex wife, dating a divorced man
boyfriend and ex wife, dating a divorced man, Doctor Becky: Hi Sheila, Unfortunately the problem you describe is a fairly common one among divorced exes. I feel badly for you and the individuals who have written me about this problem as I know the solution seems so simple ... but then nothing changes. So, what...

Divorce Issues: my boyfriend is still married, uncontested divorce, dumb stuff
uncontested divorce, dumb stuff, money issues: Hello Ashley, You stated that you knew he was married when you met him. I presume you gave him credit for being “honest’ and since he had been separated for two years and working on a divorce, its safe to say that you entered into this relationship trusting...

Divorce Issues: Child Custody, relatives, sole custody
relatives, sole custody, abuse: Hello Danyel, There are a few factors to consider in this situation, The father of the children can take her to court and seek custody being that he is the biological father, The grandmother has rights to the children as well. Whom ever decides to take her...

Divorce Issues: Child custody, marital decisions
marital decisions: Hi Danyel, I am not a lawyer, so I can t answer questions regarding custody. However, I wanted to comment that you say your friend is a good mother, but it does not sound like it to me. If she follows through with her stupid plan that will no doubt damage...

Divorce Issues: Confused, abusive husband, leaving an abusive husband
abusive husband, leaving an abusive husband, divorce decision: Hello again, Noeline, Your question is -- can a person change drastically in such a short a time, and the answer is, probably not. It sounds like your (abusive and controlling) husband has experienced a wake-up call, and that creates the possibility for...

Divorce Issues: Confused....returns, marriage, abuse
marriage, abuse, divorce decision: Hi Noeline, Leaving someone, especially when you have children, is very complicated, isn t it? Leaving is certainly much easier said than done. In answer to your question, I don t know what you should do now. Only you can figure that out. If there is...

Divorce Issues: Divorce Reconciliation?, overnights, young mother
overnights, young mother, state laws: Dear Julie, State laws do vary regarding the ground rules for divorce and dismissal. Some states still have some interesting laws on the books about marriage and overnights. If you live in a state that recognizes one night together as reconciled, then...

Divorce Issues: Divorce with stepchild, personality changes, belove
personality changes, belove, rule of thumb: Usually there are signs. The how did your last relationship end? question usually produces relevant information. I m curious to hear more of your story. I ll give you a free hour if you want to tell it and get a little feedback. Let me know. Phili...

Divorce Issues: Divorce with stepchild, abandonment issues, unforgiveness
abandonment issues, unforgiveness, stepchild: Well, I am sure there is a lot more to this story and so I am reluctant to wade in too deeply. But in general, I d approve of a continuing relationship. I think it s good for kids to have a sense that there are a lot of adults who appreciate them and support...

Divorce Issues: getting over divorce, getting over divorce, belove
getting over divorce, belove, fleeting moments: Hi. I m not sure what to say because you ve told me so little. Let me offer a few things and encourage you to write back if it s not enough. My sense of this stuff is that you never get over the loss of the family. You adjust. You make some peace with...

Divorce Issues: divorce and cc, satellite bill, divorce decree
satellite bill, divorce decree, prerogative: Dear Donna, If I am correct, you have two questions, 1. Do you have to pay for an old satellite bill the two of you shared? 2. Can you go back to court and get half of his worth? Your original divorce decree should have stated who should pay for what,...

Divorce Issues: divorce's effect on 3 1/2 mo-old great-grand daughter, interfering family, children and divorce
interfering family, children and divorce, Doctor Becky: Hi Jo, Thanks for writing I can tell you are a very caring and concerned great-grandmother. With that said, though, you may not like what I have to say, but please know that I get how much you care, and I believe that your family is fortunate to have such...

Divorce Issues: divorce and can he get the house and any vehicles?, Custody, child custody
Custody, child custody, take the children: I am unable to give direct advice in this forum - I am not licensed to practice law in Arizona. There are a lot of issues here and your mom should see an attorney so she can secure herself. The local attorney will tell her exactly how to protect her home...

Divorce Issues: divorce while pregnant, cook county illinois, joint custody
cook county illinois, joint custody, sole custody: Dominique, It is normal that your husband wants custody of his child. If you filed for divorce, you ve had the opportunity to request sole custody of your child. this means you having primary and physical custody of your child. (Primary) meaning your are...

Divorce Issues: divorce and step children, divorce decision, Borderline Personality Disorder
divorce decision, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD: Hi Belinda, Listen to yourself ... your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, and he may even have a personality disorder such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that would make it impossible to ever have a functional relationship, because...

Divorce Issues: Ex is mad for punishment, single parenting, uncooperative exes
single parenting, uncooperative exes, unruly teens: Dear Lisa, Wow -- it sounds like mayhem at your house. I ve raised teens as a single mom, and know how hard it is, and having an uncooperative ex makes what is difficult seem like a living hell. I am sorry for that. Of course, all of his ugliness harms...

Divorce Issues: ex-husband, belove, anger management
belove, anger management, hatred: How much pain? Lots. And lots of confusion as well. It s very difficult to manage hatred no matter how justified. You tell them you are angry with him for not doing his job, for not supporting them, for avoiding you (not them, you.) You can be very...

Divorce Issues: if my ex is a narcissist; how do I deal with her?, dinner with friends, christmas present
dinner with friends, christmas present, funny man: Paul, It sounds as if you have made your decision as to what to do. It is a good idea to keep your distance from a person that continuously disregards your emotions, That in its self is draining.Take care of you and your son, and try to make the best of every...

Divorce Issues: Is he just playing me?, hardest thing, good person
Divorce Issues: Is he just playing me?, hardest thing, good person, girlfriend

Divorce Issues: My husbands ex-wife, biological daughter, biological children
biological daughter, biological children, step daughter: I m not sure what you can do. It s basically a legal strategy question and I m a psychologist and I m not even supposed to offer legal advice. When you have a toxic, manipulative and conniving ex -- and this is a situation I ve helped people with -- you...

Divorce Issues: Love myself, Love, abuse
Love, abuse, guidance: Hello Sara, As soon as I read your story, the first thing that came into my mind was a song I heard on the radio one day, the title of the song is “Unwritten Lyrics” by Natasha Bedingfield I will cut and paste the main part of the song. Read it as if...

Divorce Issues: in-laws, inlaws, stepchildren
inlaws, stepchildren, divorce: For the most part, call them by their name. You don t have to refer to them as exinlaws or exstepchildren unless you are explaining their relation to you to someone you plan to marry or someone else who NEEDS to know. If you spend much time with the children,...

Divorce Issues: Is he just playing me?, initial excitement, cacth
initial excitement, cacth, fairytale: Hi Leigh, Greetings down there in Australia! I am so sorry for the distress you are feeling. It DOES sound as if your husband is confused as well as misguided. He says he wants the fairytale, but that s just what a fairytale is -- something that s a...

Divorce Issues: RE - Marrying, new mom, magic words
new mom, magic words, confidant: Of course, they will go through so many emotions afterward. The best thing to do is get to those emotions and handle them as they come. Understand, that what you say will not affect their reaction as much as you think. There are no magic words you can say...

Divorce Issues: sadness, sadness after divorce, new relationships after divorce
sadness after divorce, new relationships after divorce, divorce grief: Dear Gabrielle, You poor dear -- sounds like you are experiencing depression, and understandably so!! You have experienced quite a few major changes in the last couple of years, and we are human and can only take so much. Please go see a professional...

Divorce Issues: splitting expenses with ex-spouse, teen driving, ex husband
teen driving, ex husband, child support: Do not be bullied by him. He has no right to expect you to pay for a car that is clearly for his own use and out of the range of dollar amount that was your agreement. It was never your agreement to contribute to your daughters usage of his car- it was your...

Divorce Issues: out-of-state divorce, child support enforcement, state divorce
child support enforcement, state divorce, food assistance: Hello Julie, First, if you want a divorce you need to file for one, where you currently reside should be fine. Here is a link that might serve as a guide for you on what to do. http://www.courts.state.ny.us/litigants/divorce/UCS_DivorceBklt.pdf If...

Divorce Issues: Vacation Boundaries, dating and divorce, kids and divorce
dating and divorce, kids and divorce, Doctor Becky: Hi Bill, Divorce and raising kids is tough, isn t it? You have my sympathies. In answer to your question, ideally, you would get to know who is hanging around your kids when they re not with you, and it would be considerate co-parenting to be able to...

Divorce Issues: My wife calls Her ex., marriage counselor, professional marriage
marriage counselor, professional marriage, sweet p: Hi Ricardo, I wish I could help you, but I don t understand your question clearly enough. It sounds like there is a lot of distrust and jealousy gong on in your relationship, and I know relationships can t work under those circumstances. That text your...

Divorce Issues: boundaries, children and divorce, relationship with ex post divorce
children and divorce, relationship with ex post divorce, boundaries: Dear Elinor, OK, I have a better picture. Thanks. Divorce is annoying, and raising kids with someone you re divorced from who doesn t share similar beliefs about child-raising and whatnot can be a nightmare -- and of course, that s why you re divorced...

Divorce Issues: Child Custody, daycare, belove
daycare, belove, daycares: You know there really aren t good answers to this. It s a situation you ll have to monitor and struggle with for years. And then when you or she pick up a partner, that s another level of complexity. It s good that you guys are talking. You ll do well if...

Divorce Issues: Compliance with Divorce orders, benefit pension plan, contempt of court
benefit pension plan, contempt of court, divorce decree: I do not know what State you are in and there is no substitute for direct advice from a state licensed attorney. However I can comment as follows:- It is difficult to provide a full answer without reading the order itself. My questions would be - is this...

Divorce Issues: changes to divorce decree, worse case scenario, stable career
worse case scenario, stable career, physical custody: Hello Melinda, The judge will consider in the best interest of the children, you might want to consider various factors that calculate the children’s primary caretaker. Worse case scenario would be that the judge grant you visitation rights. I say worse...

Divorce Issues: how close is too close to live to the ex and kids, new neighborhood, wrong decision
new neighborhood, wrong decision, ill will: Hi Joseph, I m going to go out on a limb and offer a clinical hypothesis, an educated guess. I could be wrong but it s worth thinking about. I m suspecting that the issue is only indirectly about the best interests of the children. To the extent that...

Divorce Issues: How to cope with my boyfriends soon to be ex-wife, stepmum, beautiful daughter
stepmum, beautiful daughter, 19 months: Hi Sasha, Thanks for writing. It is amazing to me that I hear from people with issues all over the world -- and England is a long way off from Texas! So, back to your issue ... I hear what you say and I really sympathize with you. Obviously, your boyfriend...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, but not sure what else, stealing money, money in the bank
stealing money, money in the bank, out of the blue: Go with your new guy and live a life. Your ex is attempting to control you through your fear of his anger. You give up your power, you give up your chance at happiness, you give up every dream that you may have had for your life IF you cave into your fear....

Divorce Issues: Divorce in USA, international divorce, h1 visa
international divorce, h1 visa, certifiate: I apologize for the delay in my reply. In the United States the process would have to follow your state family law . I am sending you a website that might help you, http://www.international-divorce.com/strategic_international_divorce.htm Rebecca...

Divorce Issues: divorce, social anxiety disorder, divorce papers
social anxiety disorder, divorce papers, storage unit: The car s title is in your husband s name, so I m not sure that you have much that you can do about it right now. Get legal advice. You can do this by going to your local county court house and asking for help. In the meantime, keep all emails as documentation...

Divorce Issues: divorce after 8 weeks, simplified divorce, divorce papers
simplified divorce, divorce papers, court house: Hello Kurt, It sounds as if this divorce you are about to embark in, is simple. be aware that in some occasions the other spouse could make matters complicated if they wish to do so. In some states being married also creates a 50/50 partnership. Meaning...

Divorce Issues: divorce advice, Child support, domestic abuse
Child support, domestic abuse, custody: Wow, this kind of situation is what drives me nuts., It is so unfair. 1) She needs to go down to her County Court and ask for legal aid/ family law facilitator or any service that the County Courts provide. 2) She should also find out who child support...

Divorce Issues: divorse question, india law, h1 visa
india law, h1 visa, certifiate: I am so very sorry, Ricky, but I am not a lawyer. It seems, however, that if the marriage took place in India that it would fall under India law. My best advice would be to consult the advice of a lawyer in India. I wish that I could be of more help......

Divorce Issues: i dont want a divorce, marriage counseling, parenting class
marriage counseling, parenting class, divorce decree: Hello Jessica, Usually when a divorce decree is filed, if there are children, it is mandatory that you go through mediation and a parenting class before the divorce is issued. If no children are involved, there is pretty much nothing you can do to stay...

Divorce Issues: Ex wife won't stop being petty, ex from hell, ex
ex from hell, ex, court: Any way to get her out of his hair? Short answer is no. I ve helped a lot of people deal with the ex spouse from hell. My experience with this (some 25 years) is that you will be dealing with them until the kids are grown. Best to plan accordingly....

Divorce Issues: Father does not honor divorce decree, divorce decree, contempt of court
divorce decree, contempt of court, high deductible health: Dear Cynthia, It is unfortunate that your daughter is burdened by issues that should be dealt with by adults in her life. Your options would be to go back to court with a good lawyer and try to enforce the decree, I believe that he is in contempt of court...

Divorce Issues: post divorce relationship, big car, peace
Divorce Issues: post divorce relationship, big car, peace

Divorce Issues: Split Custody, daycare, superdad
Divorce Issues: Split Custody, daycare, superdad, heart

Divorce Issues: How to handle other parent involving child in adult issues, divorce proceedings, adult problems
divorce proceedings, adult problems, adult issues: Hi again, Ruthie, You wrote: Frankly, I fear most kids would expect their parents to sacrifice themselves for the child s sake. Also, that family is in this situation because the mother chose her happiness and desire to live elsewhere over the the need...

Divorce Issues: How to help a friend, signs of a troubled marriage, hallmark store
signs of a troubled marriage, hallmark store, person signs: Hello Jk, As you stated,” He is a private person . Signs of not smiling and not looking happy could be in relation to anything and not necessarily his marriage. Marriages are difficult sometimes and could bring anyone down from time to time. When you talked...

Divorce Issues: inconvenient truth, dr rebecca, dear mother
dr rebecca, dear mother, influencer: Dear Natasha,(Sara) Jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, are we? When our parents raised us, little do we know they are setting the stage for our future relationships, It sounds as if your parents have trouble accepting you for who you are (something...

Divorce Issues: Jealousy in my 7 year old, kids and divorce, new boyfriends
kids and divorce, new boyfriends: Hi Jennifer, Please forgive me for not writing sooner -- I did not see it in my mailbox although I check the box daily. I don t know how this happened, but again, I apologize. Here is the deal with kids and divorce ... it is exceedingly difficult and...

Divorce Issues: kids-divorce and new relationships, world mom, mom and dad
world mom, mom and dad, female versions: Delicate situation. A three year old can barely comprehend that people come in both male and female versions. (If you ask and you get a cute answer, send it to me, please.) He will know he s a boy but will not be able to tell you the difference between...

Divorce Issues: Leaving an abusive marriage, domestic violence, abuse
domestic violence, abuse, marriage: Hi Sherri, You did not bring this abuse on yourself. No one deserves to be abused, and there is no excuse for anyone to treat another person as you describe. Nothing you could do or say would be justification for it -- so no, you did not deserve it or bring...

Divorce Issues: Marital Conduct That Affects Divorce Outcomes, Michigan, Custody
Michigan, Custody, State Law: Picked this up for you; note in no fault States she does not have to worry that an affair such as yours= emotional over internet or any for that matter - should not impact custody. The only consideration is the best interests of the children and the factors...

Divorce Issues: Missing my kids, belove, joint custody
belove, joint custody, cup of coffee: Hi Monique. I m not sure what you can do. The thing is, you have a reciprocal deal. Next year it will be your turn. I would think that alone would keep him honest. After all, you could do the same next year. Still, it feels like you ve left out a lot...

Divorce Issues: post divorce relationship, post divorce relationship
post divorce relationship: Hi Morgan, No, you are not being childish. I hear this problem all the time -- the ex husbands or wives who are still inmeshed in the life of their ex. Based on experience, all I can tell you is that he isn t going to change, so your choice is to accept...

Divorce Issues: property separation, divorce decree, court matter
divorce decree, court matter, separate objects: Dear Danielle, As long as you and your soon to be ex-husband agree in the divorce decree, to give you the truck the judge should grant it to you. Taking his name off the title is an out of court matter you and your husband need to deal with at the DMV-MVD...

Divorce Issues: Split Custody, split custody, divorce papers
split custody, divorce papers, stable group: Having all those loving attentive adults will be good for her. It probably already is...if it s not, I ll have to rethink my responses...but my guess is that she enjoys all those different people trying to get a response from her and she is starting to know...

Divorce Issues: sister's divorse, petition for divorce, big sister
petition for divorce, big sister, time limits: Hi Big Sister, No, her hands are not tied, she needs to file a petition to the courts for a divorce. The filing fee is approximately 250.00 to 350.00, depending on what state she is filing in. When she files, she then has to serve him with the petition...

Divorce Issues: Trust issues... divorce?, unexpected trips, divorce papers
unexpected trips, divorce papers, strange behavior: Hi K, You poor dear. Life is difficult when married to an addict, and the worst thing is that they have an allergy to telling the truth!! This is no doubt what is causing you such frustration. It is not your job to help your husband with his addictions....

Divorce Issues: taxes/seperation, divorce packet, financial affidavit
divorce packet, financial affidavit, head of household: FYI,I forgot to mention,(The courts require a 90 days residency in the state he is living, before he can file.) Dear N.L.P If you are planning to take on this divorce yourself without an attorney here is a website with information that may...

Divorce Issues: Visitation Modification, letter in the mail, endless amounts
letter in the mail, endless amounts, lesbian friends: Dear Kataline, Let me start with how impressed I am with your maturity level, yet I’m not surprised due to the environment you have grown up in. During the last 30 years The world has changed tremendously in terms of lifestyles, freedom of speech, technology,...

Divorce Issues: visitation, borderline personality, overnight guest
borderline personality, overnight guest, physical custody: Hi Angie, I sympathize with your plight. Unfortunately, there just isn t enough information here for me to comment in a useful way. Based on what you have written I can just say in a basic way that kids should visit with each parent, unless one parent is...

Divorce Issues: What to do??, abuse marriage, unhappy marriage
abuse marriage, unhappy marriage, separation: Hi Lissa, You have sent in a very difficult and complicated situation for me to comment about, my dear. I really feel for you. First of all, your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, and he is turning your older son into an abusive man as well....

Divorce Issues: 4 years, and he's still NOT divorced., money insurance, book money
money insurance, book money, insurance issues: Hi Jenny, It sounds like you usually choose to do what is right for you and or are open to opinions other that your own. Obviously, you knew of his marriage when you began this relationship, yet, 4 years later, he is still married. This probably stirs...

Divorce Issues: Assets, divorce attorneys, children custody
divorce attorneys, children custody, uncontested divorce: Dear Crystal, He cannot make you do anything through this divorce. He can ask for certain things, but only a judge will make the determination, unless you agree to your husband s demands before the decree is signed. As for the house. I believe you can...

Divorce Issues: alimony, final divorce papers, yr period
final divorce papers, yr period, remarrying: Dear Debra, I am not an attorney and I can offer suggestions, but your son truly needs an attorney that will represent his best interests. Although the state laws vary regarding divorce, there is usually a window of time for appeal. It s a small window...

Divorce Issues: annulment, hand gestures, right girl
hand gestures, right girl, honeymoon: Matthew, If you would like to tell your family why you and your wife are not together, the choice is yours. It is unfortunate that your marriage did not last but your fortunate to have gotten out before the real issues surfaced. Relationships require both...

Divorce Issues: How can I believe and trust again?, hope and faith, waiting in the wings
hope and faith, waiting in the wings, second marriage: Leanne, The problem I see here is that you are putting all of your trust, hope, and faith in man, and not God. Who says you have to be 80 when it gets paid off? If you believe this and continue to say it, then that s what will happen. But if you start...

Divorce Issues: boyfriend's friendship with ex-wife, sports schedules, art shows
sports schedules, art shows, phone bills: This is a very tough issue. I recommend that you take the worst case scenario seriously and you insist that he does as well. The worst case scenario is not the only possible future but it is one of them and it constantly calls you to think about it. The...

Divorce Issues: Daughter dis-owns Dad and Sis and more, grown children issues, reconciliation
grown children issues, reconciliation, family therapy: Hi Jeff, Raising kids and being a parent if really tough. It s hard to say what went wrong, but it sounds like you lectured your daughter and offered her opinions without her a solicitation -- this is considered a crime by many young adult sons and...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, uncontested divorce, proper time
uncontested divorce, proper time, thirty years: Dear Helen, States have varying laws regarding divorce, but with grown children and no joint assets, it should be relatively simple. In some states, the two of you can actually agree and file your own paperwork with just a filing fee to pay and a court date...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, step parents, economic time
step parents, economic time, positive outlook: Dear Krystal, States vary in the way family law is handled, but I do think many states have provision in which the step parents can remain involved after they become former step parents by divorce. I think you and your husband will have to come to some agreement...

Divorce Issues: Divorce and Child Custody, full time job, alcohol problem
full time job, alcohol problem, world answer: As I said, I m not a lawyer and don t have legal experience or knowledge. My sense is that where adultery used to be grounds for divorce and also a sign of moral weakness and of therefore an inability to be a good parent, etc, we re now looking divorces where...

Divorce Issues: Divorced in the same house., separate paths, sole custody
separate paths, sole custody, father figure: Dear mg, Thank you for writing. This is an astounding story. It s hard to know where to begin. I have worked with couples and individuals who were not divorced but in every other respect they were divorced. They lived separately, had separate intimate...

Divorce Issues: daughter having trouble, parenting, whining
parenting, whining, clinging: Hi Linda, What you are experiencing is a tough problem, and I know you must be desperate to do the right thing. Part of the reason it is difficult is that most parents feel guilty when they deny a child who is clingy -- especially when you know they have...

Divorce Issues: deciding whether to seperate, lazy husband, depression and marriage
lazy husband, depression and marriage, unmotivated spouse: Hello Eunique, Thanks for writing. What an awful situation, I really feel for you. Lots of things could be going on with your husband from low self esteem to depression. But you can t make him get help or do anything about it, and bugging him about it...

Divorce Issues: divorce, hole in the wall, constant fear
hole in the wall, constant fear, good mother: Dear Jessica, Thanks for the response. It s a good and thorough and enlightened one. If it s any comfort to you, I do think you are doing many many things right. First of all, and above all, you are being scrupulous with yourself. These are difficult...

Divorce Issues: divorce, fragile place, male friend
fragile place, male friend, spiritual health: Hi Rick, Yes, stop giving her flowers and all of that -- those things will only anger and alienate her more than she already is. All of that sort of stuff is considered pursuit, and pursuing her is not a good idea right now. As for her visiting with...

Divorce Issues: divorce, pre nup, pre nups
pre nup, pre nups, home wife: Dear J.T. I cannot give you any specifics, but I can offer a bit of info to consider. If you are living rent free, that is a big factor to consider. The summer house is just yours, but in the pre-nup I gather that you have some sort of cash offer for her...

Divorce Issues: divorce, emotional affair, having an affair
emotional affair, having an affair, doormat: I think you need to worry about yourself and your own health. You can t control what your wife does, but you can be in your power and make healthy decisions for yourself. I would not stay and try to keep y grasp on her in such a dysfunctional situation just...

Divorce Issues: divorce settlement, iowacourts, contempt of court
iowacourts, contempt of court, divorce settlement: Dear Sheryl, The divorce decree is only as good as the people who promise to agree with it. Luckily a court of law stands behind those promises giving you the right to go back to a court of law and enforce those broken promises. Any one who fails to follow...

Divorce Issues: Ex-husband hates new boyfriend, ex husband, divorce issues
ex husband, divorce issues, kids and divorce: Hi Lou, Great to hear from you, thanks for writing. Is there any reason you and your husband have not officially divorced? It sounds to me like that is one piece to your story that needs to be dealt with -- and it would be symbolic in that you are going...

Divorce Issues: 4 years, and he's still NOT divorced., divorce proceedings, bastard children
Divorce Issues: 4 years, and he's still NOT divorced., divorce proceedings, bastard children, futile attempts

Divorce Issues: Daughter dis-owns Dad and Sis and more, ties, relationship
Divorce Issues: Daughter dis-owns Dad and Sis and more, ties, relationship, cards

Divorce Issues: No-fault divorce, fault divorce, divorce papers
fault divorce, divorce papers, divorce laws: Dear Jeff, I am not an attorney and Pennsylvania has some very stringent divorce laws. My suggestion to you, is to call the county clerk and ask them what the laws are concerning a docket date and the waiting period. They will not give information regarding...

Divorce Issues: Mother and Step-Father, lawn care business, starting a lawn care business
lawn care business, starting a lawn care business, getting a loan: Hello Jennifer, I would like to say that the house is safe because it was bought before they married; but in some states once you are married, half of everything you own belongs to your spouse and vice-a-verse. Most likely she can keep the home,but if the...

Divorce Issues: Should I Move On?, codependency, caretaking
codependency, caretaking, relationships: Hi Megan, Thanks for writing -- what area are you an expert in? Your situation is tough -- you believe marriage is forever, but are encountering deal-breaker sort of issues that cause you to question your vows. A lot of people divorce people they like...

Divorce Issues: A made for "Lifetime" Movie, multiple personalities, film actors
multiple personalities, film actors, character defect: Wow. Amazing story. One of the most extreme I ve heard. The only way to make sense of it is to look at it as a character defect on his part. There are people who lie to themselves and do it so profoundly that lie detectors, both mechanical and our...

Divorce Issues: Pre-Nup, pre nup, dear john
pre nup, dear john, transfer of ownership: Dear John, I am not an attorney, so all I can do is make an observation. If the house belongs to you alone and there is a pre-nup, then I believe you are virtually free to do anything you want with your assets, so long as it will not prevent you from living...

Divorce Issues: protection of my son from ex-husband, abusive ex, stepkids
abusive ex, stepkids: Hi Dana, Sorry for what you are going through. I thought long and hard about your question ... and I don t really think you can protect your son, and it probably isn t healthy for you to focus on fixing other people s problems, even if it is your son...

Divorce Issues: Shared Parental Plan, eldest child, step mother
eldest child, step mother, afterschool: Dear Nancy, What a wonderful wife and step-mother you are. My suggestion is this. Considering all you have to contend with as a family and the fact that your husband s ex does not really have finances of her own, let the situation stand as it is. If she...

Divorce Issues: my truck, getting a divorce, uncontested divorce
getting a divorce, uncontested divorce, petition: Dear Julie, If the trucks are in each of your names, although they are still probably community property, the court will probably just rule that each of you keep your own. Now, he can file and ask for the moon, but that doesn t mean a judge will grant his...

Divorce Issues: What should I do & will I ever turst again?, old baby girl, unconventional family
old baby girl, unconventional family, dear doctor: That s a lot to deal with, a lot to think about. I have a few thoughts. First, your dignity and self-esteem are not lost. You may feel that way, of course. It will help if you remind yourself that you did nothing wrong. You were seriously betrayed. How...

Divorce Issues: wage attachment, federal offence, final insult
federal offence, final insult, wage attachment: Dear Lynn, Forging a check is a federal offence and you should go to your local county attorneys office and have them follow up on the check matter, they will be able to trace it and find if the signatures are legitimate. Collect all the proof you need to...

Divorce Issues: 401 k, 401k in divorce, retirement plan in divorce
401k in divorce, retirement plan in divorce, 401k loan: I want to answer general financial issue concerning this question. 1. Assuming you are transferring the money to her qualified account (401k, IRA, etc), the simple answer is that it depends on: - the amount of money you are contributing; - the year...

Divorce Issues: Apropriateness of continued contact w/ ex-lovers., two and a half years, gun shy
two and a half years, gun shy, appropriateness: Dear GJA, Well this is complicated and worthy of careful thought and attention. You can probably bet that if this relationship falls apart because you guys can t work out this issue she will still care about you and want to support you in various ways....

Divorce Issues: alienated children, borderline personality disorder, BPD
borderline personality disorder, BPD, brainwashing kids: Hi Anna, How sad that your ex is behaving the way he is. Sounds like he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I urge you to read about it at www.bpdcentral.com. There you will also find advice on how to deal with people like that. It isn t easy, but...

Divorce Issues: amending divorce decree regarding claiming children on taxes, Head of Household
Head of Household: What do the DD say specifically by claiming the children? Taking the child s deduction or other child-related adjustments? File as Head of Household? Your marital status has changed since your divorce. Since you are married you cannot file as Head of...

Divorce Issues: Breakup, home, children, coping, electronic devices, square footage
electronic devices, square footage, 6 years: Dear Jenny, I know this is going to sound simplistic, but here goes. You need to sit down and make two lists. One list write down 5 things you are dissatisfied with, but you can t do anything about. Such as his behavior, the drop in real estate, etc. ...

Divorce Issues: my boyfriend's divorce, divorce decree, selfish man
divorce decree, selfish man, life doctor: Hi Bobbi, Thanks for writing. You sure have found yourself a prize, haven t you? But instead of first prize, you got the booby prize! Here you have a man who lies, misleads, and makes lame excuses ... I d call that a coward by any other name. What a selfish...

Divorce Issues: Child Support Credit (is there such a thing), jim dear, responsible father
jim dear, responsible father, future child: Dear Jim, States do vary in their family laws and terms, but most states do have some sort of regulation for overpayment, which is what you ve done. I don t know about the credit term, but I think this is definitely something to discuss with an attorney,...

Divorce Issues: Complicated boyfriend, secrets, lies
secrets, lies: HI. I believe I just answered your question privately through direct email. If not. let me know. Here is what I said Dear Anne, First,thank you for writing and please tell your boss, thank you for recommending my site. I plan on starting up my blog or...

Divorce Issues: Custody, reasonable access, custodial parent
reasonable access, custodial parent, fiance: It depends upon the area. Is he able to gain access at two hours away. The issue would be would he be able to gain reasonable access to see his child/children. It would have to be legally established if that is possible. If two hours away is another state...

Divorce Issues: children and divorce, children and divorce, new relationship
children and divorce, new relationship, boundaries: Hi Megan, Thanks for writing. There never is a good time to introduce a new love to kids ... but it is very damaging indeed to do it so soon after a separation. I urge parents to not bring new loves around for a long, long, time. What kids need is tons...

Divorce Issues: controlling ex husband, mom and dad, strange person
mom and dad, strange person, happy face: Hi again, You know, there really isn t a time line. I would say when things are stabilized on all fronts ... and dust has had time to settle ... and you are planning a long term serious relationship with this person for absolute sure, then that would be...

Divorce Issues: Dating a divorced man, dating a divorced man, sad days
dating a divorced man, sad days, general principles: Wow. I was pretty right. So the pattern is clear and right there to be seen. You can t change him, of course, but you can change the relationship. I ll tell you this, though, to give you sympathy for him: In certain circumstances, neither one of...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, divorce lawyer, family obligations
divorce lawyer, family obligations, legal aid: Hi Mercedez, I don t know what part of the world you are in, can you tell me? Also, after doing some reading I found that it is best to contact a Matrimonial/Divorce Lawyer who can help you through this. It is possible to file for divorce while they are...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, divorce lawyer, phillippines
divorce lawyer, phillippines, citizen: If you are there as a tourist you would not be able to get a lawyer in the US to represent you unless you were living in the US as a citizen. You would need to file the divorce with a lawyer in the Phillippines, not necessarily meaning you have to travel...

Divorce Issues: Divorce and Eviction, divorce law, abuse issue
divorce law, abuse issue, chasity: Dear Chasity, If it can be handled amicably, I would. I wouldn t borrow any trouble. If he is going to be allowed to stay until the divorce is final, then put it in the paperwork and let it be finalized. Now, if there is some sort of abuse issue, that...

Divorce Issues: Divorce issues, social security benefit, divorce issues
social security benefit, divorce issues, getting a divorce: First of all you are receiving government child support so technically he has not voluntarily provided support. As for the mortgage, you have bought a home for yourself right? Okay, in the process of the divorce you are entitled to half of what your partner...

Divorce Issues: dating at midlife, long term relationship, power move
long term relationship, power move, second date: Well you did give him an ultimatum. I thought it was a good idea to do but the fact that he resented it and saw it as an ultimatum, a kind of power move, is probably important information for you as you consider what life might be like with him. His reaction...

Divorce Issues: divorce, long term relationship, draft papers
long term relationship, draft papers, bailiff: Hi Melanie, No, the divorce needs to be made legally final before you can get married, it is really unfortunate. I am also in a long term relationship and have been going through a divorce for nearly 3 yrs now, I went to my lawyer and filed for divorce...

Divorce Issues: divorce, daycare, legal responsibility
daycare, legal responsibility, filing for divorce: Dear Erika, A judge will take into consideration, your husband s legal responsibility for the adoption, so I can t really say how it will all be settled and awarded. A great deal of the determination will probably be based upon the length of the marriage....

Divorce Issues: divorce, work alot, divorce court
work alot, divorce court, tax time: Dear Justin, I ll give you the best information I have, but I have to warn you, Texas law is often different from the rest of the country and in the case of family law, all the states vary. Most states base the child support on the father s income, usually...

Divorce Issues: divorce and car loans, divorce papers, divorce decree
divorce papers, divorce decree, mitsubishi lancer: Dear Jimmy, The only way to get your name off of the loan is for your ex to refinance, and that isn t likely. That s a real problem in divorce in that the divorce decree doesn t void a contract made previously with a lending institution. Chances are, she...

Divorce Issues: To just divorce or give it another go, offensive comments, punching bag
offensive comments, punching bag, courtship: Oh dear. This probably is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make and you draw ever closer to a conclusion you dread. In your last paragraph you ve as much said that for him to be a person you can live with he would have to be a different...

Divorce Issues: ex-wife's involvement with my family, 30th birthday party, 60th birthday party
30th birthday party, 60th birthday party, christmas dinner: Dear Russell, I think your partner has a valid point. Not that she should avoid your family all together or expect you to, but I see no reason for her to feel that she is remotely part of the family, in this situation. Your question to me raised the first...

Divorce Issues: Father still friends with ex husband, thoughtless behavior, deepest sympathy
thoughtless behavior, deepest sympathy, cant sleep: Hi Heather, Thanks for writing. You have my deepest sympathy for the situation you are in, but know that water rises to its own level, and therefore your dad and ex have joined together to swim in the swamp of selfish and thoughtless behavior. I know your...

Divorce Issues: alienated children, neediness, bpd
Divorce Issues: alienated children, neediness, bpd, rages

Divorce Issues: Complicated boyfriend, tsk tsk, three different women
Divorce Issues: Complicated boyfriend, tsk tsk, three different women, gullible one

Divorce Issues: family house and divorce, separate property, community property
separate property, community property: Although I cannot give legal advise or practice law in Texas, I am certified as a CDFA there. Community versus separate property is a financial issue as well as a legal issue. I am basing the general financial discussion below on the question as it appears....

Divorce Issues: My husband wants a divorce and i dont want to lose him, belove, delicate situation
belove, delicate situation, 12 steps: Very very delicate situation. I think that you should make your offer to him and make your offer very broad. I think that while he is deployed he should be the one to decide what kind of support he needs from you back home. Let him control it and let him...

Divorce Issues: How to go about leaving my husband, quiet evening, having an affair
quiet evening, having an affair, dissatisfaction: Thanks for the follow up. Very sad story. I do know men who are not at all sexual but twice a year is very rare and I would be surprised if he thinks the relationship is deep under those conditions. You seem to be a compassionate person. It will be hard...

Divorce Issues: legal separation, legal separation, separations
legal separation, separations, legal matters: Hi Greg, I really can t advise you any further other than the legal stuff, I do see that it s hard for you and I really think that you also need to make some time for yourself and take life by the horns. I know how difficult it is for you losing her at...

Divorce Issues: Mediation with a Narcissitic ex after 5 yrs, financial drain, daughter age
financial drain, daughter age, custody agreement: Hi Audra, Thanks for writing. You have my deepest sympathy for having to deal with a narcissist regarding custody issues. I know it is difficult. First of all, I cannot answer your legal questions regarding custody. You ask how do you get across to the...

Divorce Issues: what is a minor, divorce decree, age of majority
divorce decree, age of majority, time student: Dear Greg, I believe for full time students, in many states, the age of majority is 21. I believe the court or even possibly the college could just give the general information regarding student status on taxes. I think you could obtain the information...

Divorce Issues: Need to Show Large Gift on Financial Affidavit?, gifts after divorce, gift income
gifts after divorce, gift income, child support: Monthly income amounts are usually computed and attested to by dividing by the net generally described above by 12 and inserting this as monthly income. You ve done some great work on your own and I suggest you hire a CPA, attorney and CDFA if you have...

Divorce Issues: Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), parental alienation syndrome, first daughter
parental alienation syndrome, first daughter, writing a letter: Hi Susan, Thanks for writing. I m sorry for the situation your family is in -- it is so sad to hear the tale of yet another former spouse pitting the kids against her ex. You didn t say if you all live in the same town and whether dad has visitation with...

Divorce Issues: Pregnancy-Behavior of Girlfriend, pregnancy hormones, pregnancy behavior
pregnancy hormones, pregnancy behavior, egg shells: Hi Michael, Hormones play a massive part in mood swings, it can affect the person all the way through the pregnancy too. Ironically I too am pregnant at the moment and I certainly have not been myself much to the disgust of my other half! We got on great...

Divorce Issues: Property, credit rating, Motion to Compel
credit rating, Motion to Compel, property settlement: Dear Daniel, Your situation is unfortunately very typical and I understand your consternation. This is why savvy divorce attorneys today suggest one adds a CDFA to the team to examine the financial parts of the settlements being considered before they are...

Divorce Issues: question about owning property and going to divorce, clean slate, undetermined length
clean slate, undetermined length, elusion: Dear Sabrina, I think there are just too many variables in the situation right now, for even the elusion of stability. You are going through some major changes and trying to keep things smooth on the surface may actually make the transition more difficult....

Divorce Issues: Summon's for a divorce, getting a divorce, belove
getting a divorce, belove, mediator: He can t afford not to. He d be setting himself up for something he might be paying for for a long time. Of course, if there are no children, then she doesn t have much of a claim on him. That would be all the difference in the world. If they are both...

Divorce Issues: settlement, incompetent, SSI
incompetent, SSI, separate property: This is a complex question financially. You need legal advice. Here is my financial experience in a case in another state which assumes lifetime support in a long term marriage. The case I have advised attorneys and clients on financial matters the Court...

Divorce Issues: sleeping in ex-marital home, living at home, college age
living at home, college age: Hi Dawn, I don t know what you mean by Is it OK to stay overnight? There are not nearly enough details in your letter to enable me to answer this intelligently. Could you please provide me more details and context, and I ll get back with you... thanks!...

Divorce Issues: Going after spouse for more money, depletion of marital assets, credit issues during and after divorce
depletion of marital assets, credit issues during and after divorce: I am sympathetic to dilemma he is in - he has great support in you. As far as long term support goes California is a 50/50 asset split state. His attorney can advise him on the issue of long term support based on the duration of the marriage and the financial...

Divorce Issues: Should I stay married or divorce?, quick divorce, sweet wife
quick divorce, sweet wife, sexual attraction: Dear Ramsey, As I read your question, all I see in this is how it affects you. I think you have a very sweet wife that has been mistreated. My question is this. Does she want a divorce so she can find someone that will treat her as a woman and appreciate...

Divorce Issues: Transportation after divorce, moses lake wa, parenting plan
moses lake wa, parenting plan, raegan: Dear Raegan, I cannot state with certainty how this could be decided in court, but I can give you a few things that would most likely be considered in the situation, and if it comes to court, some things you could request. If there was a legitimate reason...

Divorce Issues: Unwanted Separation, grasping at straws, 8 years
grasping at straws, 8 years, 6 years: Hey, You need to start doing things for YOU. I can see what has happened and I think that she has done kind of what you did at the start The grass is greener at the other side so to speak. It sounds like she does hold you dear in her heart but finds...

Divorce Issues: Unwanted Separation, grasping at straws, 8 years
grasping at straws, 8 years, 6 years: Hi I, Go back and read the last paragraph that I wrote to you before: Even though you are afraid to be without your wife, etc. etc. I had explained to you before to leave her alone ... that is the only way. Now it is time to work on your fearfulness,...

Divorce Issues: Not sure about anything???, rebound relationship
rebound relationship: Hi Shannan, Poor dear. It is tough and confusing after leaving a long relationship. You are wise to be questioning what you are doing with your life right now. Most people in your situation are not able to make wise decisions as their emotions are too...

Divorce Issues: Abandonment Issues/ Abuse / Emotional Affair, abandonment issues, friend relationship
abandonment issues, friend relationship, emotional affair: Okay. Thanks for writing. I had to give myself a couple of days to think about this one. I ve heard stories, many of them, similar to this one. You guys have a lot of work to do. Also, you are already in counseling and yet you reach out to me, another...

Divorce Issues: Alimony and Ex-filing bankruptcy, retirement check, military retirement
retirement check, military retirement, filing bankruptcy: Dear Brenda, I am not an attorney, but I don t believe a retirement share recipient is considered a creditor. If 38% of his retirement goes to you per court order, I don t believe that is considered a debt. If the pension check comes directly to you, call...

Divorce Issues: affection between my spouse and children, ethical boundaries, displays of affection
ethical boundaries, displays of affection, hugs and kisses: Wendy, This is a difficult question to address specifically since obviously I can t directly observe the behavior. Certainly young children in formative years require nurturing affection and genuine love. Does this behavior cross any legal or ethical...

Divorce Issues: Dealing with HIS ex wife, warrant attention, harassment complaints
warrant attention, harassment complaints, fianc: Erin, To address your follow-up, at this point I was suggesting having a discussion about boundaries not with the ex but with your fiancee; he needs to step in and set boundaries and limitations with his ex in a way that was never done before. The ex is...

Divorce Issues: Dependent Ex-Husband, gas money, christian beliefs
gas money, christian beliefs, wonderful man: You ve already kindly told him to get a life and find someone else to help him. I m sure of that. And I believe you that you see no way you can do set limits on him without feeling guilty. I suspect this is not your Christianity that s doing this to you,...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, depression medication, deeper sense
depression medication, deeper sense, sexual encounters: Hi Fran, What you want will take a bit of therapy. A group might do it but really, a series of deep conversations in a very safe and secure space with a therapist you like, trust, and feel comfortable with can make all the difference. Right now your brain...

Divorce Issues: after divorce settlement, military divorce, social security in divorce
military divorce, social security in divorce: Hi Robin- This a complex question. The property and benefits that you are entitled to by the Army and perhaps other Federal Agencies, as well as Social Security, has to do with the length of service of your ex-husband and the duration of service while...

Divorce Issues: My exhusband and father of my daughter is still controlling and jealous., slip ups, father of my daughter
slip ups, father of my daughter, exhusband: Danielle, You ve asked me what you can legally do and I can t give legal advice. I have no training or credentials in that direction. I can respond on some other levels , however, and I ll give you a few ideas. First, do not expect him to change in...

Divorce Issues: Mistakenly filed a response, need advice to cancel public hearing and complete a dissolution case, proper paperwork, la superior court
proper paperwork, la superior court, year 2012: Dear Nian, I am not an attorney, but in a no-fault state, I believe you can withdraw the petition or allow the response time to expire, then move to withdraw and then refile the petition. Sometimes there is a time factor, but until it is decreed, most states...

Divorce Issues: making a passport for my child, writing a letter to a judge, probation officer
writing a letter to a judge, probation officer, writing a letter: Natasha, I m not a lawyer and can t give legal advice, only what I think based on my experience as a mediator and former court clerk and probation officer. That being said, I don t see any recourse other than you writing a letter to a judge asking for...

Divorce Issues: Negative Equity, birth certificates, negative equity
birth certificates, negative equity, true thanks: Dear Kimberly, This is complicated. I m no attorney, but I can go over the questions you have and at least address the possibilities. First, due to the economy, nearly everyone has negative equity, so that will simply be a loss, either way, probably for...

Divorce Issues: parenting obligations, legal recourse, divorce lawyer
legal recourse, divorce lawyer, divorce attorney: This is a situation that I have seen all too often in mediation, unfortunately. You absolutely have legal recourse and you always will. My input as a mediator, not a lawyer, would be to either engage the services of a divorce attorney who will be more comfortable...

Divorce Issues: please help, state laws, two boys
state laws, two boys, kd: Dear Tina, You will need an attorney, I believe. You can try to file yourself and have him served in prison, but if he counter files, you ll need an attorney. I really think since he is incarcerated for life, an attorney could best navigate you through...

Divorce Issues: Step-father, high school sweetheart, separation issues
high school sweetheart, separation issues, fragile situation: Dear Willie, This is a very fragile situation. I, personally, believe the little girl deserves to keep her dada in her life. You are the only father she s known and if the two of you are as attached as you indicate, then she s going through some separation...

Divorce Issues: My wife said she wants a divorce, marital counseling, time is on your side
marital counseling, time is on your side, dear michael: Dear Michael, For now, time is on your side. I don t think a divorce is possible when the woman is pregnant. I think the two of you need to establish some sort of separation agreement, though so you can see your daughter and provide for her. I hate to...

Divorce Issues: My boyfriend can't let go of the past, belove, biological child
belove, biological child, defensiveness: A relationship a man has with his own child is a great thing. I can understand why he would be extremely protective of it. The child s half-sibling is important to the biological child and he is being extremely careful by including the brother...

Divorce Issues: divorce, local bar association, probation officer
local bar association, probation officer, daycare: Kristin, This is a little bit outside my expertise since it seems that your husband is unwilling to mediate or at the least would not be a viable candidate for effective mediation since he s already hemming and hawing in every possible way. All I could...

Divorce Issues: Final Divorce Decree, final divorce decree, divorce petition
final divorce decree, divorce petition, military benefits: Dear Carrie, Do not waste any time at all. Contact and attorney and see if you can contest the divorce decree. I have no idea if you are in the time frame or even if there is one, but act immediately. Kind Regards, KD Liz www.covenantsanctuary.ne...

Divorce Issues: My parents, personal belongings, legal adult
personal belongings, legal adult, single day: Dear Lisa, I am not trying to offer a dismissal answer, here, but the circumstances are not cut and dried. You, your father and your sister willingly moved out and you, at least, are a legal adult, so both of those factors could cause some problems if your...

Divorce Issues: Is a STEP- Parent considered FAMILY, step parents, custody agreement
step parents, custody agreement, step mother: Dear Carin, I don t know where you heard that step parents are not family. I know as a mother and step-mother, my husband s ex-wife didn t consider me anyone important, but legally, I was as responsible for a step child in my care as I was for my own child....

Divorce Issues: Teen age daughter, legal recourse, brand new car
legal recourse, brand new car, haloween party: Dear Joe, I m sorry for what you are going through. I ve done some checking and although I cannot state with absolute certainty, I ll offer what I can. You didn t make the custody arrangement clear in your question, so if you do not have legal custody,...

Divorce Issues: For the child?, mom dad, meaningful question
mom dad, meaningful question, personality disorder: Dear SE. You asked, what do I do and how to I know I m making the right decision? and For the child? This is the right question. It is also the hardest one. Divorce is hard for children, no question about that. At the same time it is not good for...

Divorce Issues: Divorce questions, divorce questions, probation officer
divorce questions, probation officer, court administrator: Jim, I m not a lawyer, but a mediator who s also worked as a senior court administrator and a probation officer. That being said, I have never lived in Ohio and only a lawyer living in Ohio would be able to specifically advise on that state s particular...

Divorce Issues: divorce and child porn, thumb drives, federal pen
thumb drives, federal pen, personal camera: Well, as I said, my response depended on how old the girl was and whether it was a big pattern or a one time thing. Size and weight have only a rough connection to age. Age matters here. So also does pattern. I still don t have a sense about that and...

Divorce Issues: Is this a hint?, money solutions, elderly parents
money solutions, elderly parents, first moves: Dear Tammy, I m not sure what to surmise here, so I m going to come at this from both directions and wish you much success! He could very well be seeing where you stand in the possibility. First, if he s giving a hint, then remain yourself but open. Don...

Divorce Issues: involving kids and holidays, separate lives, christmas shopping
separate lives, christmas shopping, good person: Sometimes people who put a very high value on kindness don t know where to set limits on the demands of others. The midlife transformation into maturity goes through four stages. 1. confident doubting 2. a generous no 3. a committed maybe 4....

Divorce Issues: married, but claiming not to be, term girlfriend, responsible woman
term girlfriend, responsible woman, husban: Dear Jim, I am not trying to pass judgment on your previous girl-friend, but as a straight laced, responsible woman, I can tell you it does happen. I followed through and went the divorce route before, but some women feel so strongly against divorce or the...

Divorce Issues: previous relationship, state licensing board, peace and happiness
state licensing board, peace and happiness, nasty divorce: There could be any number of reasons she can t move on. Licensing boards and other places you encounter have enough experience to know her type and what she does. So don t worry about these types of acts. Don t focus on her. Just make sure you continually...

Divorce Issues: relationship advice, engaded, relationship advice
engaded, relationship advice, belove: You ll have to accept the fact that it will hurt him and he will feel that pain for a year or so. You have a difficult choice. Either tell him now, when it will do the least damage, or wait until you can t stand it anymore (maybe after you ve married when...

Divorce Issues: Seperate Lives?, seperate lives, trusting relationship
seperate lives, trusting relationship, realtionship: There might be something he could do. I d have to have some conversations with him. He sounds like he s feeling backed it a corner and that he can t see any wiggle room. I don t know. The situation is actually pretty complex. If we were to talk I d...

Divorce Issues: Thinking about seperation/divorce, root problem, valiant effort
root problem, valiant effort, light at the end of the tunnel: Rochelle, Your letter is almost more of a helpless lament than a question. This is one of those moments of truth for you. (Thanks, God, I needed that.) Hang in. You ll find your way through this. First of all, the easy piece, if you do leave you...

Divorce Issues: 3 YEAR OLD WITH ANGER ISSUES, family mediation service, anger issues
family mediation service, anger issues, mum and dad: Hey Tisha, It s a hard one isn t it! I assume your ex husband is in your famiy home then? He has obviously been so used to you being together and sees it maybe as you have left the family home, so he may be feeling (thought you have not abandonned him...

Divorce Issues: Amend divorce decree, community property after divorce, credit issues after divorce
community property after divorce, credit issues after divorce: This not legal advice. You are lucky to have a renter for the property. I would ask the bank for the EXACT copy of the language they need and will accept to: 1. State in writing that your husband has sole (financial) responsibility for the property....

Divorce Issues: CHANGE TAX DEDUCTION OF CHILD, dissolution of marriage, child tax credits
dissolution of marriage, child tax credits, time parent: Hi Anita, Here in the UK we have something similar, its called Child Tax Credits where we get extra money per week for looking after a child. I don t know whereabouts you are from but if you are her full time parent and you can prove this you should be...

Divorce Issues: Children, marriage relationship, good listener
marriage relationship, good listener, belove: Hi John, Thanks for the question. It s a good one and you have clearly identified one of the specific challenges people at midlife face when they are building a new relationship. Since you ve asked in such a general way, I can only give the most general...

Divorce Issues: Children, marriage relationship, social challenge
marriage relationship, social challenge, john dear: Dear John, This may sound simple, but it s sincere. You sound like a very thoughtful person, in the fact that you see it as a social challenge and have asked advice. My suggestion is that you be yourself. I m not sure how old the children are, but if this...

Divorce Issues: Confused, christian hell, desserted
christian hell, desserted, delicate work: Dear Amy. At first I thought yours was a legal question but then I read on. I have worked with people who had zombie marriages. They basically loved each other but had hurt each other so much and had descended into a a kind of non violent but sincere hatred...

Divorce Issues: Contemplating Divorce but Mortgage Concerns, mortgage concerns, equity settlement
mortgage concerns, equity settlement, contemplating divorce: Dear Kim, If your friend really does want a divorce, I think her best option would be to try to sell the house. Even if the mortgage were in both names, lenders are not too keen on refinancing right now. To maintain her credit, if she can t afford the house...

Divorce Issues: Dealing with the ex wife, personal conversations, two girls
personal conversations, two girls, 5 months: Hi Erin. Thanks for your question. Very interesting and complex situation you have on your hands. You seem to be struggling with it pretty well although I can see that you are being sorely tested by it. The part that catches my attention, and yours,...

Divorce Issues: Divorce, Somerfleck, denver mediation
Somerfleck, denver mediation, mediation: Nanette, I m sorry for what you and your children must be feeling right now. Your question has two aspects to it: One is the legality aspect. You want to know how you can keep the house. The other question is implied: What should you do given a potentially...

Divorce Issues: divorce, military divorce, social security in divorce
military divorce, social security in divorce: I will give you a general financial answer to the question and then you can followup if you wish to. This is not legal advice. In 1982 the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act was modified to among other things, make it apply to all 50 states....

Divorce Issues: divorce, mom and dad, divorce lawyer
mom and dad, divorce lawyer, estrangement: Hi Gabriela, Your mother can file for divorce in the US and the petition will be sent to him to sign and agree. She can divorce (depending on state but usually this is the case) on the grounds of being separated from him all this time (estrangement). ...

Divorce Issues: divorce, star athlete, troubled marriage
star athlete, troubled marriage, character defect: I don t have statistics. There are two schools of thought about cheating. One is the Tiger Woods type case where the man was clearly out of control and on a binge. This was a troubled marriage but what he did was beyond, way beyond, acceptable means for...

Divorce Issues: divorce, judgement, divorce
judgement, divorce, relationship: Hi Tanya, He will be safe so long as his name is not on the bill that you are liable for. If for example you are sharing a house with someone regardless of having been in a relationship with them or not, if you have say a catalogue bill that you haven...

Divorce Issues: divorce, divorce, Somerfleck
divorce, Somerfleck, Justice for All LLC: Well, Kathy, I m not a lawyer and can t give you legal advice, but I can give you legal information and give you options that I am aware of. So now that we ve covered that requirement, you should have no problem divorcing your incarcerated husband. I don...

Divorce Issues: divorce, mortgage, contempt of court, finance deal
contempt of court, finance deal, owner finance: Dear Adam, If it was ordered in the decree, you may be able to file some sort of contempt of court hearing, but divorces do not nullify previously signed contracts. She would have to refinance the mortgage to remove your name and that is much easier said...

Divorce Issues: divorce and moving on, wife changes, endless amounts
wife changes, endless amounts, dilemna: Hi James, Thanks for writing. One thing I know about people is that they rarely change drastically overnight. Your ex sounds like a mess, not to mention extremely immature, and I definitely would not wait around for that mess to clean up when in all likelihood...

Divorce Issues: Getting my husband back, spell caster, laura johnson
Divorce Issues: Getting my husband back, spell caster, laura johnson, juju

Divorce Issues: Not happy, contemplating divorce but scared of consequences, friend's divorce decision
friend's divorce decision: Hi Veronica, Thanks for writing. What a caring friend you are! Your friend is lucky to have you on her side, and you ask how you can help her now during this stressful time. The role I d take is one of a supportive and caring friend who listens without...

Divorce Issues: home, 18 year old girls, kd
18 year old girls, kd, vomiting: Dear Tammy, I just read this and rather than take your time to research the subject, I just felt compelled to write back immediately with this. Seek an attorney immediately. I m guessing there is something you can do, but it will require an attorney. I...

Divorce Issues: Getting my husband back, chiquita, capital letters
chiquita, capital letters, conversations: You can t let the issue die, unfortunately because it s a living toxic issue to both of you. You guys will have to find a way to share feelings about it and use it to draw closer. otherwise it will tear you apart. From what you say it sounds like he s...

Divorce Issues: Internationl Divorce with Child, pre nuptual agreement, grounds for divorce
pre nuptual agreement, grounds for divorce, assests: Hi Nancy, You conceived a child after the separation? Was that with him or someone else? We may be looking at custody issues here you see. Otherwise the divorce should be fairly straight forward. You both filed for divorce therefore that means that...

Divorce Issues: Moving on, 5th wedding anniversary, marriage counselor
5th wedding anniversary, marriage counselor, marriage material: This is really too complex a question and you ve given me too little information. It s the sort of question I often answer but I d need to hear details and stories and ask questions. What you ve given me is a start and I can give you some responses but it...

Divorce Issues: marriage trouble, marriage trouble, lethal radiation
marriage trouble, lethal radiation, drastic measures: Dear Puulani, This is a very difficult situation you are burdened with and at the same time, the decision to divorce is one of the most difficult decisions a person can make. Essentially it means killing a living thing because the relationship is a living...

Divorce Issues: moving on, wife changes, endless amounts
wife changes, endless amounts, dilemna: Hi James, This is pretty tricky, I think. You are a good hearted and caring guy and you see a lot in other people s hearts and at the same time your ex seems to feel pretty strongly that have a couple blind spots. It s also possible that she really doesn...

Divorce Issues: My nephews want to hang out but their mother won't let me come to "her" house..., little faces, belove
little faces, belove, sad situation: If their mother is giving them reasons like, she s sick, or She doesn t want company, then all you can do is pass those reasons along to the boys and say, We d love to come but your mother say... and then say what she said. If the boys then question...

Divorce Issues: post divorce, wife changes, endless amounts
wife changes, endless amounts, dilemna: Dear James, This is a tough situation for you and I don t want to give advice off the cuff. I will give a perspective that may help you come to peace in the decision you are facing. First, as to the let s be friends after the divorce arrangement, be...

Divorce Issues: property settlement, Somerfleck, mediation
Somerfleck, mediation, denver mediation: First of all, sorry you re going through such a difficult time. It could be confusing to go through, when both parents love you but the marriage and bonds of trust seem to be dissolving. Your question is not really complicated so much as unclear; and...

Divorce Issues: QDRO, military divorce, IRS child support
military divorce, IRS child support, QDRO: I will attempt to answer your question in a general fashion. This is not legal advice. Generally, I would consult with my Base Commander and/or JAG to see if the QDRO can be modified according to Federal and Military financial regulations. Federal retirement...

Divorce Issues: Retirement and divorce, family solicitor, divorce proceedings
family solicitor, divorce proceedings, marital assets: Hi Nancy, Are you still married to him or are you going through divorce proceedings at the moment? During a divorce, as it works I believe that he is entitled to half the marital assets, the courts will probably look at each of your circmstances, they...

Divorce Issues: re-uniting with ex-husband, ex husband hides me.
ex husband hides me.: Hi Dani, Thanks for writing. I am wondering why you tolerate being treated like a second class citizen in your primary relationship? The man hides you away and hasn t grown up -- still valuing what his mother thinks over anything else. To me, relationships...

Divorce Issues: Seperaton - Is it over?, christian counselor, pastor kim
christian counselor, pastor kim, time pastor: Hi Bill. I really don t know her end of this story and so it s hard for me to counsel both of you on what you should do. I find it very odd that you are separated and still having marital relations. Separation should mean separation...in all ways. If you...

Divorce Issues: stay home mom divorce after 14 yrs with 3 young kids., military divorce, child support
military divorce, child support, excluding military retirement in divorce: At this point please be guided legally by your attorney who has gotten you the $2000. This attorney may want to consult with the Base Commander to consider the points I have raised in the previous post concerning Military Financial issues that may have...

Divorce Issues: step parenting, parenting time, step parenting
parenting time, step parenting, bitter divorce: Dear Monica, Thank you for a very interesting letter. I had to make a chart in order to keep track of the different relationships and it seemed that of the adults, Mary, Bill, Ann and you, Monica, the only one who wasn’t given a name was the “Ex.” So supposed...

Divorce Issues: Trying to figure it all out, bed apartment, civil conversation
bed apartment, civil conversation, e mail: Hard to say about possibilities. I think your theory about him having started the affair when he became completely different is a good theory. Sounds like the separation was prompted by a some serious unhappiness also. The fact that the gf says she...

Divorce Issues: taxes, child support, child tax credits
child support, child tax credits, IRS 8332: Important Update: I would file IRS Form 8332 to establish that the children are dependents or non-dependents based on the information she gave you. Even if you file as the children as non-dependents this establishes a relationship with the IRS. As a rule you...

Divorce Issues: the ugly triangle, ticking time bomb, flight mode
ticking time bomb, flight mode, serious relationship: Hi Monica, It is really tough to be in a situation like you are in and I want to be sympathetic, but you put yourself into this mess, I m afraid. Any new relationship is high risk, but getting involved with someone 1. In your workplace, and 2. Who is still...

Divorce Issues: Annuity and Pension, QDRO, union pensions
QDRO, union pensions, financial procedure: Hi Rita- I m glad I could help. Keep us posted on your progress. Probably the Court or Clerk of the Court or both Attorneys had to sign the papers in order for the Plan to accept them. Your situation is not unique! Important: CDFAs specialize in calculating...

Divorce Issues: abandonment, kidnapping and divorce, property division
kidnapping and divorce, property division, Florida: Dear Cal- You have bigger issues than the car. I suggest you find an attorney in Florida who is versed in both family and criminal law. Remember that in order to be effective a reasonable attempt, such as certified mail, has to made to serve the Filing...

Divorce Issues: assets distribution, domestic violence act, wendy dear
domestic violence act, wendy dear, stock day trading: Dear Wendy, If you combined assets before the marriage, then you have $60,000 jointly. If all of this money has always been in joint accounts or equal accounts separately, then the assets will probably be considered marital property. I m not an attorney...

Divorce Issues: Breach of divorce contract, personal credit card, divorce decrees
personal credit card, divorce decrees, divorce papers: Dear Josh, I m not an attorney and divorce decrees get a bit murky after a few years on just about everything but child or spousal support, so it would probably take a separate court action to bring this matter before a judge. Since your ex is this persistent,...

Divorce Issues: DIVORCE, divorce
divorce: Ella, First of all, I am a mediator, not a lawyer, so I can t give you legal advice. The reason for that, is that since I have a broad knowledge of the law and not necessarily a specific knowledge of all legal matters, it s better for me to provide you...

Divorce Issues: Divorced couples spending time together with child, latter camp, spending time
latter camp, spending time, extra time: It s very hard for a 6 year old to grasp the reality of a divorce. The usual way to handle it is to reassure the child over and over that even though the parents are divorced they are still both her parents and they both love her. She will want them to...

Divorce Issues: debt in divorce, bankruptcy in divorce, bankruptcy during separation
bankruptcy in divorce, bankruptcy during separation, Canadian divorce in divorce: Dear Luke, I have worked on one divorce recently involving both Canadian and US citizens. I enjoyed collaborating with my colleagues in Canada. Although I am not intimately familiar with the bankruptcy laws or financial statutes governing credit card...

Divorce Issues: How to get a divorce?, divorce in germany, german citizen
divorce in germany, german citizen, grounds for divorce: How long have you been resident in Germany for? It also depends upon which state you were in also. Here is what I found on divorce in Germany:- http://ec.europa.eu/civiljustice/divorce/divorce_ger_en.htm#1. What I read was that in the grounds for...

Divorce Issues: divorce, denver divorce, divorce
denver divorce, divorce: William, First let me state that I am not a lawyer and cannot give you legal advice. I can only present you information that I believe to be accurate and provide you with choices to the best of my knowledge and ability. That being said, much of this...