About Experts Sitemap - Group 18 - Page 14 2015-05-19

Domestic Violence: breaking things, boxing stance, bad attitude
boxing stance, bad attitude, square in the face: Dear Kalika, If you have been in this business long enough, you begin to see the stereotypical responses that come from people who are uninformed. This is why I said that you need to go to a professional in order to process this situation. Your friends...

Domestic Violence: child abuse, child psychologists, abusive relationship
child psychologists, abusive relationship, words of wisdom: Hello Devorah: I appreciate your inquiry. I want you to know that I relate to some of what you might be feeling. Dealing with the After Affects of an abusive relationship can be difficult for both adult and child. But with time, support from family/friends...

Domestic Violence: HELP!, provocative clothes, stupid little things
provocative clothes, stupid little things, lieing: Julia, try to look at him from an outsiders viewpoint, which is...what a loser. What a pig. What a stupid, woman-hating man! This is what he is and you re caught up in that trap with him. You finally got away from him so why oh why are you trying to go...

Domestic Violence: why it is so hard to stay left, domestic violence relationship, acts of aggression
domestic violence relationship, acts of aggression, church friends: Dear Lisa, This is the dynamic of a typical domestic violence relationship. To overcome it, you have to understand it, get support, and learn new skills that will help you to live in safety and not choose this again in the future. My advice is to see a...

Domestic Violence: My husband just hit me., military police officer, pain killers
military police officer, pain killers, going to the doctor: Hi Shea, Thanks for contacting me. Well if you do not know what to do, I am about to tell and give it to you straight......you should leave, period!! Why are you second guessing yourself about this douchebag of a husband you have? He is a scumbag! Putting...

Domestic Violence: Is my relationship abuse?, short temper, relationship abuse
short temper, relationship abuse, low self esteem: Here s the problem, Kim. I don t care why he does what he does...I care about how it makes you feel. You aren t happy if you re trying to figure out what makes him tick. Instead, you should find out what runs your own clock. That s what is important in this...

Domestic Violence: separating from a domestically violent husband, foul swoop, emotional wellbeing
foul swoop, emotional wellbeing, personal revelation: Dear Grace, Thank you for your kind words and I am glad that this is of help to you. Unfortunately, many of the questions you have asked this time would need to be answered by your attorney. The reason I say this is because divorce laws are different everywhere...

Domestic Violence: separating from a domestically violent husband, access finances, physical intimacy
access finances, physical intimacy, boxing match: Dear Grace, It sounds as though you handled things very well. The tragic thing is that the openness to change always seems to come after the damage has been done and individuals have been hurt to the point that they may not be able to recover. There...

Domestic Violence: separating from a domestically violent husband, acts of respect, physical intimacy
acts of respect, physical intimacy, two to tango: Dear Grace, What you have described shows that he hasn t changed. He is blaming you for his behavior, when it is very much up to him as to how he responds to each and every situation. If there had been change you would have heard him being responsible,...

Domestic Violence: separating from a domestically violent husband, good behaviour bond, church pastors
good behaviour bond, church pastors, christian counselor: Hi Grace, I certainly understand what you are saying and the Christian professionals and pastors are doing their best to interpret scripture. However, deep in our spirits we know that that interpretation is in error, which is why I directed you to the article...

Domestic Violence: I can't accept that I am in an abusive relationship, don't know what to do., abuse, emotional
abuse, emotional, verbal: Dear Andrea, I am so sorry to hear about these struggles and I deeply understand how hard it is to get to the point where you admit that you are victim; both to yourself and to others. No matter what you want to call it, it is unsafe for both you and your...

Domestic Violence: My boyfriend hits me, he just hit my son, heavy drinker, state numbers
heavy drinker, state numbers, period number: Hi Jessica, Thank you for contacting me. Number one, your boyfriend is abusive towards you and your children, so no questions even need to be asked. Whether they witness the abuse or not, what he is doing is wrong, period. Number two, if you are unable...

Domestic Violence: emotional abuse, divorce, verbal abuse
divorce, verbal abuse, counseling: Hi Gale, It sounds as though you have made some quality decisions for very good reasons. I m so sorry that you have had to go through this, but you ve taken the right steps in going to counseling and trying to figure out how to resolve the issues. The thing...

Domestic Violence: Feeling guilty, devil s advocate, abusive father
devil s advocate, abusive father, shoulder surgery: Hi Lily, You are not a terrible person for wanting to have a life of your own and acting like an adult. Adults make decisions for themselves. They decide who s input they want and who d they d rather avoid. Sometimes that means not telling your parents...

Domestic Violence: Hopeless situation, punched holes, back porch
punched holes, back porch, hopeless situation: Hi Gabrielle, It is unfortunate that you choose to remain in the situation that you are in when all you have to do is simply leave, period. I do not care what anyone else says, when someone is treating you like shit, you move on, no questions have to be...

Domestic Violence: marriage, domestic violence organizations, suffering from depression
domestic violence organizations, suffering from depression, abusive relationship: Hello Sheila: I appreciate your inquiry. To answer your question, YES you are in a very abusive relationship which could potentially become life threatening to both you and your children. Based on what you ve told me about your husbands threats of suicide...

Domestic Violence: I need to know, reply asap, dead women
reply asap, dead women, back of my mind: Hon I am going to tell you right now, Praise God for the separation and stay away. That is not the way God intended us to have a relationship, it is to be loving from both directions. You should be able to have friends as well as him... you are not to be...

Domestic Violence: is this normal, stages of depression, dotors
stages of depression, dotors, junk mail: I understand and meds do help but if you don t want it, no one can force you to take it but I do think perhaps you should go and talk to someone. I was in an abusive relationship for a long time and then had problems when I left. I was on meds but got tired...

Domestic Violence: restraining orders, Restraining Order, State
Restraining Order, State, To State: Hello Shanna: I appreciate your inquiry. To answer your question, Yes. If you have a valid restraining order that meets federal standards, it can be enforced in another state. The Violence Against Women Act, which is a federal law, states that all valid...

Domestic Violence: verbal abuse, mother fucker, envirement
mother fucker, envirement, childhelp: Hello Melanie: I thank you for your inquiry and I am sorry for the hurt that you and your sister are experiencing. To answer your question it s very difficult to have anyone arrested because they verbally abuse you. Verbal abuse and threats are often hard...

Domestic Violence: can an abuser love?, stepdads, men in my life
stepdads, men in my life, stepdad: Hi Wendy, Wow, you ve really been through it and before I forget I want to say that we are never into something too deep. We simply feel hopeless and don t see a way out but there are resources available for you but...it is up to you whether you take them....

Domestic Violence: my abusive husband, bad attitude, abusive husband
bad attitude, abusive husband, self respect: Suzanne, you feel bad because you re being treated horribly and also, you are allowing someone to treat you less than human. It isn t a happy situation and never will be. He is clearly showing and telling you that he doesn t care about you or respect you so...

Domestic Violence: Changes in abusers, better prospects, relationship dynamics
better prospects, relationship dynamics, personality disorders: Hi Lisa, Of course the couple s interactions contribute to the relationship dynamics, but it doesn t cause anyone to do anything. If the couple relates in unhealthy ways, it s better that they be apart. Both need to work on their own issues independently....

Domestic Violence: Emotional Child Abuse, emotional child abuse, spiritual wellbeing
emotional child abuse, spiritual wellbeing, ray of sunshine: Dear Lucy, It sounds like you have done all you can. You aren t the parent, so you can t take over for them. Your sister and brother-on-law are adults, so you can t tell them what to do. Although neglect is against the law, they aren t doing anything that...

Domestic Violence: how to explain domestic violence, violence question, long term relationship
violence question, long term relationship, term friends: Oh...I see. The victim has no options...only the abuser does. Interesting. And, what exactly, is Christian and loving about that statement? Nina, my so-called Christian psychologist told me to be more submissive and pray harder. If I had listened to him,...

Domestic Violence: Helping a friend, state welfare, police protection
Domestic Violence: Helping a friend, state welfare, police protection, paradigms

Domestic Violence: Helping a friend, abuse, marriage
abuse, marriage, husband: Dear Danni, I m sure your friend is quite distraught and it is always a difficult thing to work through when one person dies at the hands of another. Not only is she dealing with the trauma of the domestic violence, but there is a certain kind of trauma...

Domestic Violence: Mental and verbal abuse, afraid, fear
afraid, fear, retaliation: Hello Kristina: My name is Susan and I thank you for you inquiry. After reading your question I must start off by saying I relate very well to your concerns and situation, because I too have been where you are. The only difference is I didn t have any...

Domestic Violence: manipulative tactics, domestic violence
domestic violence: To answer your question I do believe that you are doing the right thing. My guess is that you have seen this cycle before. You have likely seen things get really dangerous then be okay and seemingly normal for awhile but you’ve now discovered that...

Domestic Violence: Step Father emotional abuse, emotional abuse, restraining order
emotional abuse, restraining order, injunction against: Hon I believe he will have the right to throw you out of the house because you are an adult and as far as anyone is concerned you can work and get a home of your own. Now if your Step-father is abusing your mom, she can get a restraining order and have him...

Domestic Violence: sexual abuse?, assault and battery, sexual abuse
assault and battery, sexual abuse, sexual assault: HI Stephanie, I am sorry about taking so long to get back to you but I am glad you wrote. I read your letter and I have to agree that I don t think it was sexual abuse because of the intent. I do believe it was assault and battery though. So you...

Domestic Violence: Verbal/Emotional Abuse, anger, control
anger, control, manipulation: Hi Alice, You ask some very thoughtful and insightful questions. The simple and easy answers are no, you are not doing anything wrong, and love has very little to do with what is happening between the two of you. Your husband has some very significant issues...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, abuse, male
abuse, male, help: Sure John, I m happy to help you and I do understand what you are saying about the abuse trend. Thankfully there are those out there who have programs geared toward men who want to change their behavior. Although it may seem strange to refer you to a women...

Domestic Violence: is he an abuser? pls help me decide, rigth, little ones
rigth, little ones, 28 years: Eli, you are with a man who becomes violent when provoked so why are you provoking him? You are both wrong and need to get some therapy before this crosses a line. Plus, he is physical with you but you continue to say it wasn t that bad. Hurting another person...

Domestic Violence: Confuse, abuse, manipulation
abuse, manipulation, domination: Hi Dennisse, Once abusers become physically violent, there are not many options that are open to you. Unless the man is willing to go to counseling or deal with anger management programs, there isn t much you can do. His behavior is not predicated on yours...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, how do i help?, violent relationship, going through the motions
violent relationship, going through the motions, violent relationships: Hello again Stuart, Abusive relationships are complicated and difficult to understand particularly for people who have never been in that type of unhealthy relationship before. I can t really say why it is your partner stayed connected to this person beyond...

Domestic Violence: enhanced domestic abuse charge of mentally disabled female, abuse, emotional
abuse, emotional, women: Dear Bonnie, There is never anything wrong with getting an attorney to help you. I cannot give you legal advice, but an attorney can. I would also contact your local women s center or domestic violence organization. They usually have court advocates who...

Domestic Violence: expert required for school, emotional processes, health class
emotional processes, health class, domestic abuse: Hi Nick, I d be happy to answer a few questions to help you with your assignment. You can also find more information on my blog at www.livingwellcc.blogspot.com . It might bring up a few more questions that you hadn t thought about. Blessings, Kriss...

Domestic Violence: My Sisters Relationship, abusers, families
abusers, families, family members: Hello Sharon: I appreciate your inquiry. I do understand your frustration and concern for your sister. Most all abusive relationships can at times put a wedge between the victim and their friends and family simply because the victim keeps taking the abuser...

Domestic Violence: Is this the signs of an abusive relationship?, signs of an abusive relationship, emotional outbursts
signs of an abusive relationship, emotional outbursts, physical abuse: Hi Oliivia, Yes, this is physical abuse whether he s going through a difficult time or not. There is no excuse. What you do now is going to set a precedent for the rest of your marriage so it s up to you what you choose. If this is the first time and...

Domestic Violence: Should I stay or should I go?, emotional outbursts, violent outbursts
emotional outbursts, violent outbursts, physical abuse: Hello Olivia: I thank you for your inquiry. To answer your question. YES, (In anger) when someone forcefully grabs your arm or restrains you against your will it is considered to be a form of physical abuse. Depending on the severity and frequency of your...

Domestic Violence: Confused, old flame, correct decisions
old flame, correct decisions, relationship issues: I feel this old flame is making you believe life would be better with him but in reality, you will only be running from problems and will take yours with you into another relationship. If your husband won t go to a counselor with you, find one and go by...

Domestic Violence: how to deal with a woman in a relationship whos been batter????, online support groups, victims of abuse
online support groups, victims of abuse, magic pill: Hello Justin: I appreciate your inquiry. When it comes to healing from abuse I truly wish there was a magic pill or something specific that could be said or done to heal ones inner pain but unfortunately there is no magic cures and there is no specific...

Domestic Violence: domestic Abuse, true encounter, lord god
true encounter, lord god, hardest thing: Dear Estella, From experience because I have been where you are and watching or hearing from others, now that you have made the escape and actually left your husband it is probably good and you should stay gone. I highly doubt that he has changed...

Domestic Violence: Followup to "Is this abuse? Or can we work it out?", abuse, culture
abuse, culture, man: Hi Debbie, So good to hear from you and to know that there was a move for the positive in your relationship. I think there are a few things here that are strengths, such as being at home with your family which provides some accountability for your husband...

Domestic Violence: Why can't I let go of my abusive husband?, skilled counselor, healthy life style
Domestic Violence: Why can't I let go of my abusive husband?, skilled counselor, healthy life style, counselor

Domestic Violence: father and son need help domestic violance from mother please help my friend he's a good father, domestic violance, melissa escamilla
domestic violance, melissa escamilla, cop car: Hello Melissa: I appreciate your inquiry. First I d like to say this. You are a very good friend. Your friend is blessed to have you to looking after him and his baby. As scary as it may seem Melissa the most important aspect of your friends situation...

Domestic Violence: financial abuse, sneaky person, marital rape
sneaky person, marital rape, intervention order: I was recently watching a documentary on a very famous person who said: It s not what you are; it s what people think you are. What does your husband think you are...afraid of him, weak, intimidated? Show him differently and make him sell quickly and give...

Domestic Violence: Harassment, harassment, threat
harassment, threat, mental illness: Hi Allain, Thank you for writing to get information on how to deal with your situation. I am sorry that you are experiencing such difficulties especially from a friend you care about. Mental illness is what it is: mental inability to perform or function...

Domestic Violence: life, abuse, manipulation
abuse, manipulation, domination: Dear Devin, I understand how scary this kind of thing is, but you have to know that you don t deserve any of this and that you have to get away from this person. There are a couple of things that you can do, just to get away and start getting your head clear...

Domestic Violence: Past Abuse, sons death, fragile state
sons death, fragile state, abusive husband: You have been conditioned to expect and reflect abuse. In a way, you have PTSD. Is there help? Absolutely! You need to find a qualified therapist that understands abuse and the best way is to call a shelter in your area and ask them to recommend someone. If...

Domestic Violence: Running away from an abusive husband, domestic violence advocate, domestic relations court
domestic violence advocate, domestic relations court, hostile contact: Dear Paula, Go to your local Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court (it may be called Family Court in your jurisdiction) and ask for a protective order. A protective order (In Virginia) can either ask for no hostile contact or no contact. If you fear for...

Domestic Violence: Trying to identify verbal abuse, verbal abuse, husband
verbal abuse, husband, yelling: Hi Burt, If you look at the term on wikipedia, you will find this definition: Verbal abuse (also called reviling) is a form of abusive behavior involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity that can occur with or without the use of expletives....

Domestic Violence: Why can't I let go of my abusive husband?, sick puppy, hansome
sick puppy, hansome, abusive husband: Someone who can t let go of a relationship that is clearly destroying them has deep control issues. You have no control over him so you re trying to control the outcome of everything and trust me, the outcome of your children s lives are written on the wall!...

Domestic Violence: Expert Advice Needed, goh hi, volunteer advisor
goh hi, volunteer advisor, journalism student: Hi Kai, Thank you for contacting me. I would be glad to help another fellow student! Today (Friday) would be just fine for you to call me. You can give me a call after 1 PM and I would be glad to answer any questions you might have. My number is (770)...

Domestic Violence: Facing domestic violence: I am on dependent visa, detaching, safety planning
detaching, safety planning, life goals: Hi Grace, Glad to hear you are smiling and feeling better about reaching out for feedback. This is really good to do because as you have experienced, people who are more concerned about what society will think rather than your safety and emotional well-being...

Domestic Violence: Helpless, stay at home mom, collecting unemployment
stay at home mom, collecting unemployment, computer history: Yesenia, Thank you for contacting me. First, it is a good thing that your husband left because after reading everything you told me about him, you are much better off than to have a man who clearly does not respect you nor love you enough to be faithful...

Domestic Violence: On Holiday my Boyfriend punched a wall instead of me..., Alcoholism, Abuse
Alcoholism, Abuse: Hello Andrea: I appreciate your inquiry. I hope that this message finds you in peaceful spirits. After reading your inquiry it seems to me that quite possibly your boyfriends outbursts might be fueled and or caused by his drinking of alcohol. Andrea some...

Domestic Violence: abusive father, abuse, breaking away
abuse, breaking away, threats: Hi Priyanka, Thank you for writing and asking for ideas of what to do. Living with and trying to meet someone else s expectations can create a negative impact to your self-worth like you are describing. Losing confidence and feeling as if something has...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, learned behavior, domestic violence
learned behavior, domestic violence, domestic abuse: Hi Josie and thank you for your question. I know you are hurting and confused right now. Yes, it is very common. It is a form of self-preservation and no, it doesn t mean you are an abuser too. You are doing whatever it takes to make it stop and to me,...

Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse and Confusion, happy relationship, unhealthy relationship
happy relationship, unhealthy relationship, emotional abuse: Dear Angela, Honey, I am so sorry that I could not get right to you but I am a Flight Attendant and I was working this morning, I read your letter and felt bad for you because I know exactly how it feels to think the man or men around you are controlling...

Domestic Violence: first time domestic violence - is that the end of it?, Can he change, domestic violence
Can he change, domestic violence, relationship abuse: Hi Josephine, I am sorry to hear about your situation. This is a difficult situation because I have so much respect for persons who serve in the military. Even still, as you and I know, violence can t be tolerated. Your question to me was; can people...

Domestic Violence: Husband is getting the best lawyer possible, abuse, physical violence
abuse, physical violence, marriage: Dear Mandy, Thank you for your question and I am so sorry to hear about these circumstances. It sounds as though you have some good back up for your claims, however I am not able to answer your question because this is really a legal question and that is...

Domestic Violence: can't get over domestic abuse, abuse, post traumatic stress
abuse, post traumatic stress, physical: Hi Laura, It sounds like you may be dealing with a form of Post Traumatic Stress. My best advice would be for you to find an abuse counselor who understands and is able to treat this syndrome and then get into treatment. Physical abuse of that level leaves...

Domestic Violence: Verbally Abusive, verbal abuse, will he change
verbal abuse, will he change, domestic abuse: Hello Tiffany, First of all I am sorry that you are going through this experience. As you already have recognized your spouse is being abusive towards you and I know that that is an incredibly tough situation to be in. I have to tell you that based...

Domestic Violence: Cheated Emotionally, Husband becomes abusive, should I endure it because it's my fault?, anger problem, sexual relation
anger problem, sexual relation, roller coaster: Hi Mily, Thank you for writing and asking for help and wondering if you should go back. First of all, I am very sorry that you are experiencing such events—I can see it has been very hard on you especially for you being so young. But to let you know, abusive...

Domestic Violence: Don't know what to do..., abuse, male
abuse, male, help: Dear Lucy, This is very normal for women in abusive relationships. Hope is a powerful thing and its what keeps you attached. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad for him, feeling grief for the loss of the relationship etc. However, those things need...

Domestic Violence: How to heal?, happy relationship, emotional person
happy relationship, emotional person, personal problem: Dear Suzie, Your ex s healing is not your responsibility nor is it within your control. It s up to him to either deal with this now, later, or not at all. He has to find his own path. He has to decide first that he WANTS to heal, then he has to decide how...

Domestic Violence: Help me help my Mom, Please, first girlfriend, brother hood
first girlfriend, brother hood, bad apples: Honey, I am super, super sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you and I really hope you and your Mother have not had to endure a whole lot of torment since you wrote but at this time you will have to be brave and do the right thing and...

Domestic Violence: Is My Anger Justified, violence, bystander effect
violence, bystander effect: Hello Susan, I can clearly see your point and the source of your anger. Psychologists have studied this behavior and they call it the bystander effect . Essentially it describes what you are referring to. It says that the more people there are, the...

Domestic Violence: Can this change?, change, abusive
change, abusive, verbal abuse: Hi Kym, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. First of all, I am very sorry that you are experiencing such issues as well as your children. As you have witnessed, abusive behavior is usually passed down from the past generation to...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Abuse, abuse, control
abuse, control, controlling partner: Hi Joanna, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions about your relationship. Relationships and marriage are challenging in the best of circumstances, and very confusing and frightening in violent/abusive ones. We learn about ourselves...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, communication, pushing
communication, pushing, name calling: HI Marcos, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions! First of all, you should give yourself a BIG pat on the back for reaching out to find answers! Good for you! This will only improve your situation and teach your kids proper communication...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, abuse, physical
abuse, physical, men: Dear Tracey, In view of a long standing pattern such as this, my answer to your question would be no. He obviously has some issues or he would not be in conflict with the legal system. A person who does not seek help for their problems will not have the...

Domestic Violence: Is there hope?, relationship conflict, abusive relationships
Domestic Violence: Is there hope?, relationship conflict, abusive relationships, counselor

Domestic Violence: Is there hope?, change, physical abuse
change, physical abuse, hitting: The question of whether a person can change or not is a very common one when working with difficult and/or abusive relationships. It s one of the first questions that comes out of a spouse s mouth, simply because it is a huge deal breaker if the conclusion...

Domestic Violence: Physical abuse, short temper, name of jesus
short temper, name of jesus, anger management: Sorry it took me so long to get back to you Hon. I read your letter and the truth is this. Stay out while you are out and hope and pray he does get the help he needs but let him heal and if he really is delivered then let him go on with his life and...

Domestic Violence: Anger problem and physically abusive with alcohol, domestic violence
domestic violence: Hello Kadijah, It sounds as if you all have had some wonderful times and some not so wonderful times. In those not so wonderful times you have been on the receiving end of violence. I cannot say that people who behave violently cannot change but please...

Domestic Violence: angry husband, safety plans, abusive husband
safety plans, abusive husband, control: Hi Augusta, Thank you for writing to get some ideas of what to do in your situation. I am so sorry that you are experiencing such a stressful, confusing and painful event. 20 years with a person with very little signs of wanting to or establishing an...

Domestic Violence: Domestic violence, vicitm services, hitting
vicitm services, hitting, domestic violence: Hi Rose, Every county is different with reporting incidents. Please call Victim Services today and they can direct you appropriately. Here is there website: http://www.atty.lacity.org/VICTIMS_SERVICES/DomesticandFamilyViolence/index.htm. There is NO...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, domestic violence, wife returning
domestic violence, wife returning, counseling: Hi Chris, Thank you for writing to gain insight of what is going on. I am very sorry that you are experiencing such events in your life. I can see they are very painful. Your question I believe is, “Will your wife come back to you?” First of all, I...

Domestic Violence: I don't know if it is the right relationship for me, serious sounds, mind games
serious sounds, mind games, inconsiderate: Hi Sonia, Run! I m serious. Sounds like he is intentionally trying to sabotage you. You are out of focus because he s keeping you stressed and confused. Think about it...do you really want to spend one more day with someone as inconsiderate and undependable...

Domestic Violence: Good friend, verbal abuse, communication
verbal abuse, communication, talking: Hi Cynthia, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. Showing concern is what good friends are for and you are doing the right thing by getting information to see how you can help. Afraid to leave an abusive husband because of fear...

Domestic Violence: help me please, green card application, marriage witnesses
green card application, marriage witnesses, rude attitude: Hi Kiran, I m so sorry but I don t deal in legalities involving immigration or green cards. You should probably find an attorney who is experienced in this or contact the state department. Also, Google information on getting a green card. I can tell...

Domestic Violence: help me please, green card application, marriage witnesses
green card application, marriage witnesses, proper legal advice: Dear Kiran, I am going to try to be real honest with you as much as possible and also to let you know that legally I am not an Attorney so I cant give you proper legal advice. I know that in your Culture that Women are sometimes given or betrothed...

Domestic Violence: QUESTION, mutual fight, return money
mutual fight, return money, refund check: Your brother needs to have his own attorney to represent him in court and to protect his rights. For this incident, the court won t be interested in her spending his tax return money--only the case at hand. Pick your battles wisely and don t focus on anything...

Domestic Violence: re assault, abusive person, negative experience
abusive person, negative experience, headlock: Hi Suzanna, Thank you for contacting me. In my firm opinion, you need to stay as far away from this scumbag as possible. Domestic violence of any magnitude is NEVER okay. If I were you, I would look into getting a restraining/protective order...

Domestic Violence: Threat of violence, restraining orders, keeping children
restraining orders, keeping children, safety: Hi Ed, Thank you for writing to get some more information about your situation. I am very sorry you are having to deal with such an issue, especially with this being your daughter and grandson. There are a couple of ways to go in this situation. One...

Domestic Violence: Angry mother, pent up anger, credit card debt
pent up anger, credit card debt, angry mother: Hi Michelle, My favorite phrase is: If it doesn t feel good, don t do it twice. It might help you in this situation. Your mother is transferring anger to you, where it doesn t belong but as long as you are there trying to understand, analyze and accept...

Domestic Violence: I have been abused as far as I can remember.., abuse, teen
abuse, teen, family: Hi Michelle, At 17 years old you have a lot of options available to you if you want to take advantage of them. Depending on the state you live in, you may have to do some research in order to understand the specifics, but if you are being abused like this...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, abuse, domestic violence
abuse, domestic violence, wife: Dear Jerry, It is never a good idea to try to help someone else with something that you have not yet overcome. Until you gain victory over this area of your life, there is really nothing to offer these individuals. The dreams say that you are trying to...

Domestic Violence: don't want to give up but so unhappy, abuse, military
abuse, military, deployment: Dear Alexandra, I am so glad that you wrote to me and my heart goes out to you in this situation. It is a very difficult one and I would imagine that the control issues that your husband has are made much worse by the deployment. Whatever insecurities were...

Domestic Violence: physical and mental abuse, angry walk, health care worker
angry walk, health care worker, mental abuse: Hi Dawn, Since you don t want to leave I m going to suggest seeing a therapist and your daughter s health care worker for possible remedies. MS is no excuse to be abusive but she is blackmailing you with it so you are going to have to set boundaries and...

Domestic Violence: abusive husband, domestic violence, emotional abuse
domestic violence, emotional abuse: First, I am very sorry for your loss. My sympathies are with you. I do think that you are being abused. This is treatment that no one deserves. You wrote about 2 pages of words about how awful you are treated. From my experience working with other...

Domestic Violence: adult daughter in bad situation Help !!!, leaving, abuse
leaving, abuse, scare: Hi Diana, Thank you for writing to get some information about your situation. I am sorry that you are experiencing such events with your boyfriend’s daughter. Trying to help and support her can be very helpful for her. Is there a local shelter for abused...

Domestic Violence: the aftermath, stop thinking about him, joy
stop thinking about him, joy, love: Hi Kate, Nice to hear from you and glad your recovery is moving forward. What you are experiencing is very NORMAL and REAL. Everyone wants a fun, exciting and loving relationship and that is what you are most likely missing right now--you are missing the...

Domestic Violence: First Domestic Violence Charge, anger management classes, emergency protective order
anger management classes, emergency protective order, assault and battery charges: Here is my email address so we don t have to continue to go through this site with everyone reading it. whose_face@yahoo.com I have to ask you something important. How badly does he want to keep his family together and what has he suggested doing to make...

Domestic Violence: Past abuse interfering with current relationship?, falling down the stairs, laugh and smile
falling down the stairs, laugh and smile, bruises: Hi Raina, Raina, I do hear you loud and clear when you say that you do not feel very deserving of all of the happiness coming your way. I do think that it would be helpful to talk with someone maybe just for a little bit of time. I am definitely not saying...

Domestic Violence: Past abuse interfering in current relationship?, Healing, Emotions
Healing, Emotions, Abuse: Hello Raina: I appreciate your inquiry. You ve experienced a lot at such a young age. But you made the right decision by leaving your abusive boyfriend. No one has a right to abuse or isolate you from your family and friends. Please always remember that...

Domestic Violence: Past abuse interfering with current relationship?, abuse, control
abuse, control, controlling partner: Hi Raina, Anytime anyone experiences an abusive relationship like you have will have emotional scars from the abuse. This is not your fault! It is not your fault that the ex boyfriend was abusive to you! Fear of that happening again is normal and common...

Domestic Violence: not sure what to do, domestic violence advocate, abusive relationship
domestic violence advocate, abusive relationship, national hotline: Hi Ashley, Your friend should contact your local domestic violence advocate. This person can tell her what resources are available in your local area in terms of housing assistance, assistance with transportation, utilities, counseling, and give her information...

Domestic Violence: My boyfriend almost hit me...will he hit me next time?, domestic violence, emotional abuse
domestic violence, emotional abuse, red flags: Hello Asia, What you have experienced is definitely a red flag for future violent behavior. I think that you are doing the right thing in carefully considering your boyfriend s actions. You are wise in deciding to focus on what he has done (come close...

Domestic Violence: can they change?, physical abuse, change
physical abuse, change, boyfriend: Hi Alison, The question of whether a person can change or not is a very common one when working with difficult and/or abusive relationships. It s one of the first questions that comes out of a spouse s mouth, simply because it is a huge deal breaker if...

Domestic Violence: Domestic abuse and divorce, abuse, Christian
abuse, Christian, marriage: Hi Beth, I m so sorry to hear of your situation, but unfortunately you are not alone in this scenario. Women in abusive relationships tend to forgive and forgive and forgive until any feeling is gone. They are done with relationship at that point and when...

Domestic Violence: frequent teasing by sisters, good doctors, orrisa
good doctors, orrisa, east india: Hello Banumunchi, I m so sorry you have experienced such horrible treatment. I would tell your sisters, What the doctor did to me isn t nearly as awful as the words my sisters, who are supposed to love me, are saying and walk away. If they continue,...

Domestic Violence: mental harresment from husband, good wife, stupid idiot
good wife, stupid idiot, belongings: Ramya, You have married a man who hates women. He isn t going to stop harassing you regardless of what you do. You need to pack up all of your belongings and leave...now! I don t care how much your parents spent on your wedding...find a way to pay them...

Domestic Violence: mentally and emotionally drained....., abuse, court
abuse, court, safety plan: Hi Tabitha, Thank you for writing and getting some ideas of what to do in your situation. First of all, I hope you realize that you are beautiful and loving person. I hope you really believe that you are because this will help you break free from this abusive...

Domestic Violence: Physical/Emotional Abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse
emotional abuse, physical abuse, little baby: To keep the playing field even, both of you should make a commitment to never get physical with person or property in a fight or when angry AND also to never engage in name-calling. Yes, I think counseling would help. His childhood experience of abuse has...

Domestic Violence: regarding my love life, domestic violence hotline, national domestic violence hotline
domestic violence hotline, national domestic violence hotline, national domestic violence: Hello Richa, I am really sorry to hear about your circumstances. I can only imagine how physically and emotionally difficult this is for you. It sounds as if you are experiencing abuse from your partner. It is not unusual for persons who are abusive to...

Domestic Violence: regarding my love life, foul words, loose track
foul words, loose track, good relationship: Dear Richa, Sweet heart please forgive me for taking so long to get back to you, I am terrible sorry and I know you have been waiting, so once again please forgive me. I fly for a living and sometimes loose track of days or time. ...

Domestic Violence: regarding my love life, unhealthy relationship, abuse
unhealthy relationship, abuse, verbal: Hi Richa, Thank you for writing to get more information about your situation. I can see that you care for your boyfriend very much and how you desire a healthy relationship. The question I need to ask you, does your boyfriend want a healthy relationship?...

Domestic Violence: I am stuck, temp time, going to jail
temp time, going to jail, door mat: Hon, I am so sorry that I took so long to get back to you but I am here now and here goes. We are never stuck in a situation unless we allow ourselves to remain there. Like they say, the Devil always trys to limit our options so that we will remain the...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, abuse, control
abuse, control, controlling partner: Hi Michelle, Thank you for writing and asking for ideas of what to do. First of all, you are not the only one who has experienced what you are going through—there are many others too! There has been much research and understanding on this type of abusive...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, abuse, control
abuse, control, controlling partner: Hi Sue, THANK YOU for writing and reaching out for help. You are reaching out to the right people to help you understand what you are going through--many of us experts in domestic violence and emotional abuse understand so please keep asking these good...

Domestic Violence: My mom is an abusive relationship, child abuse, neglect
child abuse, neglect, physical: Dear Deanna, You will need to check this information out with your local authorities, but in most states children under the age of 18 can report abusive parents for child abuse. It depends on what your goals are however. If your mother refuses to leave,...

Domestic Violence: past abuse, anger, abuse
anger, abuse, military: Dear Megan, There is a lot going on in your question so let me take things one topic at a time. Domestic violence is not like child abuse. When a minor is abused, counselors are mandatory reporters. However if you are over 18 it becomes a matter of pressing...

Domestic Violence: Seperated, material possessions, wonderful father
material possessions, wonderful father, beautiful name: Hi Brooke, I am glad that I was able to be of some assistance to you. At the end of the day, the ultimate decision on whether you take back your ex is yours, but of course I would advise against it. In my opinion, I do not think abusers and cheaters...

Domestic Violence: Clarity in the chaos, abuse, control
abuse, control, controlling partner: Hi Sheryl, Thank you for writing to get some insight and asking these very good questions. Sounds like you have been through a lot and believe you have a good understanding of what is going on. Verbal abuse, anger and threats are patterns of domestic and...

Domestic Violence: My girlfriend's abusive ex?!, Teen, Violencew
Teen, Violencew, Help: Hello Ellenore: I appreciate your inquiry. With regard to your question What should I do to help her overcome this? Any advice,please? Overcoming the after affects of abuse can be difficult, especially when it comes to Verbal Abuse. Words...

Domestic Violence: My girlfriend's abusive ex?!, recovering from emotional abuse
recovering from emotional abuse: Hi Ellenore! Thank your for writing and asking these very good questions. Being concern for your partner is wonderful and shows that you really care for her. Emotional abuse affects people deeply as you are witnessing and can take years to readjust to healthy...

Domestic Violence: My girlfriend's abusive ex?!, girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs
girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs, curvy hips: Ellenore, Thanks for taking the time to contact me. I think that right now the best thing that you can do for your girlfriend is to continue to give her your support and to also encourage her to talk to a licensed counselor or therapist. I know what...

Domestic Violence: My girlfriend's abusive ex?!, girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs
girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs, curvy hips: Hon, So sorry but I have been in the hospital. I care about you but am still pretty weak. Write me back in a week. I think that with time your girlfriend will Heal but it took time for her to get to that place she is at right now so it will take a...

Domestic Violence: My girlfriend's abusive ex?!, girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs
girlfriend melanie, hips and thighs, curvy hips: Hi Ellenore and thank you for your question. Let me explain how abusers work. They will watch and listen for anything a person doesn t like about themselves or feel shame about. In Melanie s case, it s her body. This is what they ll focus on to keep their...

Domestic Violence: Love, Abuse, Prison, Stds, false imprisonment, family patterns
false imprisonment, family patterns, good heart: Hon... Sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to you but I was out of town and now I am back. Sweety I know you have heard this before but I am going to add to it. You need to move on. Someone who abuses you and is in and out of jail, even...

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, life begins at 50, second marriage
life begins at 50, second marriage, mental abuse: His first wife probably wouldn t tolerate it! He didn t suddenly become an abuser with you, he was always that way and rest assured his first wife put up with his crap too even if it appears he gave her everything. With men like this, it doesn t work to...

Domestic Violence: i need advice, downward spiral, drug addiction
downward spiral, drug addiction, domestic abuse: Hi Madisyn, Thank you for contacting me. As someone so young and full of life, your focus needs to be on yourself and not some boy who is obviously in the wrong and abusing you. When I was your age, I also dealt with teen domestic abuse, and...

Domestic Violence: I can't get over this..., flashbacks, abuse
flashbacks, abuse, abusive boyfriend: Hi Deven, THANK YOU for writing and asking these very good questions. Abuse disrupts the normal nervous system and deeply affects your emotions which cause flashbacks, nightmares and fear. I strongly urge you to see someone who specializes in domestic violence...

Domestic Violence: Verbal Abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse
verbal abuse, emotional abuse: Dear Bee, It is not okay to call names. You have let him know that it is hurtful to you and yet he continues to do it. What he is doing is emotional abuse, or verbal abuse as you put it. Some women who have gone through emotional abuse have told me...

Domestic Violence: abuse, anger, control
anger, control, manipulation: Dear Lori, These kinds of issues are always very complicated. The thing that is almost guaranteed is that unless her partner gets some help, he will most likely repeat the behavior. At some point she will see the light, but that may come after a lot of...

Domestic Violence: Do I have an abusive husband?, violent temper, second marriage
violent temper, second marriage, abusive husband: Hon, Sorry to have taken so long to get back to you but it couldn t be helped. I like to tell women or men for that matter things like this but if he is unwilling to get any type of help, I personally would go. I would not want to spend the rest...

Domestic Violence: I dont know what to think?, realationship, stupid idiot
realationship, stupid idiot, arguement: SP, Thank you for contacting me. In response to your question, you have to realize your self-worth and find a way to empower yourself in order to improve your self-esteem. Tolerating abuse of any kind should NEVER be acceptable and you should...

Domestic Violence: re: my son & my husband's bad temper, upper intestine, cold showers
Domestic Violence: re: my son & my husband's bad temper, upper intestine, cold showers, time outs

Domestic Violence: how to get help, cleveland ohio area, personal drug
cleveland ohio area, personal drug, abusive situation: Dear Melissa, It sounds like you are talking to the wrong people. You seem to have been really persistent, but I am going to ask you to continue that. Keep reaching out until you find a DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ADVOCATE. The people you have been speaking to are...

Domestic Violence: lost!, marriage counselor, freedom of choice
marriage counselor, freedom of choice, arguements: Hi May, No, I don t believe you are over-reacting to what is being done. Even though someone doesn t mean anything by what they do, it still has a negative effect on those they do it to and that is the best reason to stop doing it. If he doesn t mean anything...

Domestic Violence: marital rape, domestic violence, shelter
domestic violence, shelter, martial rape: Hi Melissa, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. I am so sorry that you experiencing such events in your life. Marital rape, physical abuse and drug use are against the law and reaching out to people who can help you is critical because...

Domestic Violence: re: my son & my husband's bad temper, bad temper, word ie
bad temper, word ie, supernanny: Hello Tracy: I appreciate your inquiry and your conc earn for your child. YES the harsh punishment that your husband is inflicting on your son would be considered as a form of Child Abuse . Placing a child in a corner as Time Out is one of the proper...

Domestic Violence: One Time, husband, wife
husband, wife, abuse: Hi Janice, I m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Violence is always disconcerting and disorienting. You said he attacked you but you did not describe in what manner he attacked you. However, no matter what manner of physical violence occurred...

Domestic Violence: Abused and confused, domestic violence, domestic violence advocate
domestic violence, domestic violence advocate: Hello Cecilia, First let me say, I am sorry that you are going through this. You are a smart, strong, beautiful woman who does not deserve to be treated the way that you have been by your spouse. But I do realize that it is hard when you know something...

Domestic Violence: Abused and confused, step in the right direction, appt
Domestic Violence: Abused and confused, step in the right direction, appt, counselor

Domestic Violence: Options, mood swings, bad advice
mood swings, bad advice, great mother: Dear Steele.. Hon I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to you but I thought about it and I dont want to give you bad advice, I think you are gonna need to get therapy and your Mom does too. I think this is something so strong that you both...

Domestic Violence: Options?, aa meetings, mood swings
aa meetings, mood swings, great mother: Your mother is an alcoholic. Have a calm discussion when she is sober. Get her agreement to stop drinking altogether. Also, it is important to agree on consequences including she will go to AA meetings every single day for 90 days, she will move out, etc....

Domestic Violence: Verbal/Emotional Abuse, lard butt, lazy things
lard butt, lazy things, sarcastic manner: Dear Jana, If you fear what may happen when he does hate you, you also need to contact a local domestic violence advocate. They can let you know what resources are available for you in your local area and help you to do some safety planning. I am not...

Domestic Violence: My Abusive Husband, father of my children, respect women
father of my children, respect women, abusive husband: Hi Laura, Thank you for contacting me. I empathize with what you are going through and I want you to try to do your best to stay strong. I commend you for first acknowledging that there is a problem. The best thing that you can do is try...

Domestic Violence: Leaving abusive boyfriend with just my son and no money..., abuse, shelters
abuse, shelters, safety plan: Hi Maria, To find the nearest shelter to you, please contact the NEBRASKA DOMESTIC VIOLENCE/SEXUAL ASSAULT COALITION 315 South 9th - #18, Lincoln, NE 68508-2253 402-476-6256 800-876-6238 http://www.baddteddy.com/abuse/abuse_shelters_nebraska.html...

Domestic Violence: Abusing and fighting wife, anger, fights
anger, fights, counseling: Hi Sanjit Das, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. Relationships are challenging enough but when drama, blame and anger enter into the picture, then something has to change to create a more peaceful and joyful environment for you...

Domestic Violence: Failure to report, abuse, hitting
abuse, hitting, beating: Hi Chris, Here is the website to report abuse in Virginia and legal requirements. Good luck! http://www.dss.virginia.gov/about/abuse.html About the Hotline The Virginia Department of Social Services operates a statewide Child Protective Services...

Domestic Violence: Failure to report, child protective services, child abuse
child protective services, child abuse, report: Hello, You would contact child protective services (CPS) in the city where the child lives. Report what you know and they will look into it. If you need help locating whom to call, just send me the city and I will look it up for you. CPS will decide if...

Domestic Violence: Husband choked me, abuse, alcohol
abuse, alcohol, choking: Hi Jennifer, Thank you for the question. To begin with, physical violence is always unacceptable as a course of action. With that said, you both were at fault here. On your side, being mouthy in the way you describe was very hurtful and disrespectful to...

Domestic Violence: Why is my Mom so Stupid?, heroin addict, half brother
heroin addict, half brother, good man: Hello Shakira, Your mom most likely let s her boyfriend back into her life despite the abuse because she s afraid of what life would be like without him. She probably doesn t have very high self esteem and doesn t know what she is capable of or deserving...

Domestic Violence: Moving on?, abuse, marriage
abuse, marriage, divorce: Hi Sarah, Last question first...if might be easier for you if you dealt with these issues before entering another relationship. Often times people just carry their baggage from one relationship to another and that baggage effects things more and more. ...

Domestic Violence: Friend living with a passive aggressive husband, verbal confrontations, passive aggressive behavior
verbal confrontations, passive aggressive behavior, ups and downs: Hello Diane: I hope that this message finds you well and in good spirits this day. I thank you for your inquiry and I truly do understand your concerns for your safety and the safety of your friend. Because you are a guest in your friends residence...

Domestic Violence: is this always going to happen? is this my fault?, abuse, shelters
abuse, shelters, safety plan: Hi Adele, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. I am so sorry that you are experiencing physical and emotional abuse in your relationship. Your question of is this going to continue and the answer is YES. People as such usually never...

Domestic Violence: abuse???, verbal abuse, controlling behavior
verbal abuse, controlling behavior: Hi Vicki, Thank you for writing and asking for ideas of what to do. I am so sorry that you are experiencing such events--I know this is emotionally very hard on you and your kids. Controlling and abusive people display and behave in manners that negatively...

Domestic Violence: abuse??, girls age, disobedient child
girls age, disobedient child, twin girls: Hi Vicki, You can t fix this unless your husband decides to grow up. He sounds like he s resentful because his children are gone and now, he s stuck with your children and that is immaturity and selfishness (another form of immaturity). This lifestyle...

Domestic Violence: Abusive husband????, girls age, disobedient child
girls age, disobedient child, twin girls: My suggestion is to use the following structure: 1. Hhave meeting in which you and you husband create a written numbered list of your issues. 2. Then each choose an issue that is most important. 3. Then flip a coin to decide whose issue will be addressed...

Domestic Violence: marriage clashes, offensive languages, physical wounds
offensive languages, physical wounds, broken jaw: Hi Amrita, Thank you for contacting me. I can just about imagine that you feel like there is no hope left and that you are at your wits in with this situation. However, I am going to give you the same advice that I would give myself or anyone...

Domestic Violence: Is this abuse? If so, what do I do?, Child Abuse
Child Abuse: Hello Paige: I thank you for your inquiry. First of all I d like to say you are being a very good friend to Cheyanne. You gave Cheyanne excellent advice. If her dad is abusing her the appropriate authorities should be notified so that they can properly...

Domestic Violence: I don't know what to do..., domestic violence
domestic violence: Hi Sasha, I am sorry to hear about what you have gone through. You don t mention whether or not this behavior is new but it sounds as if you were a little surprised by it. It is not unusual for an abuser to seem very nice and charming and then seem to...

Domestic Violence: leaving a controling abusive husband, abuse, shelters
abuse, shelters, safety plan: Hi Ashley, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Nobody deserves to be abused and treated as such. Finding a way out needs to be done with a safety plan to protect yourself and your kids. Please call your local county court house and ask for the...

Domestic Violence: verbal abuse after divorce, child protective services, verbal abuse
child protective services, verbal abuse, charlene: Hello Charlene, I am sorry that you are going through this 3 years after your divorce. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about this. Nothing your husband is doing is illegal. Unless and until he hits one of your kids, you will have to deal with...

Domestic Violence: deos marriege really survive violence, domestic violence, abuse
domestic violence, abuse: Dear Carla, You ask two questions. The first is, Does marriage survive violence? There are always people who come through any situation happier than before because they learn from it and use the experience to make their lives better. However, to be realistic,...

Domestic Violence: dom abuse, counseling, no contact
counseling, no contact: Hi Colleen, Any questions regarding the law such as the ones you are asking need to be asked to an attorney. Checking with your attorney general BEFORE doing anything will be good to do otherwise it may affect the case. The law world can be difficult...

Domestic Violence: Friend's Abusive Father, abuse, alcoholic
abuse, alcoholic, domestic violence: Hi Joe, These are very difficult and complicated situations. The denial that you see is very common and is what keeps women in these types of situations much longer than they should be. In reality, the justification that he doesn t mean what he does...

Domestic Violence: Aggressive Boyfriend, counseling, no contact
counseling, no contact: Hi Erica, Sounds as if you understand the situation clearly--he needs the time to learn new communication techniques and pressure from his love ones can enforce this to happen. If his family helps reinforce the benefits of seeing a counselor, the better...

Domestic Violence: dom abuse, jail, moving on
jail, moving on, feeling mad: Hi Colleen, Thank you for letting me know about the court decision. Asking the prosecuting attorney about the decision is good to do to understand the decision the Judge made. The law world is very complex and this attorney may help you with this understanding...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, loving person, domestic violence
loving person, domestic violence, restraining order: Kayla, Why would you want to drop the charges? So he can do it again? (he will). In most states, it doesn t matter if you try to drop the charges because the city or state is the one who is prosecuting rather than you. But, if you don t testify on your...

Domestic Violence: When to leave domestic/physical abuse, christmas eve, calling me names
christmas eve, calling me names, woman friend: Hi Gayle. Thank you for contacting me. I am going to give it to you straight, because I never sugarcoat anything, especially when it comes to relationships. When your husband first disrespected you, you should have told him then that you will not stand...

Domestic Violence: rape and domestic abuse, mental health treatment, volunteer advisor
mental health treatment, volunteer advisor, night mares: Hi Amanda, I am so deeply sorry that you had to go through the horrific trauma of being raped more than once, but the good thing is that you survived and you can get stronger, with the appropriate help. I would suggest that you speak with a licensed counselor,...

Domestic Violence: Mixed Feelings, minor mistake, mixed feelings
minor mistake, mixed feelings, health crisis: Hi Caroline, Thank you for contacting me. I think that the best thing that you can do for yourself is to explore your feelings and concerns with a licensed therapist or counselor. It often helps to speak with someone who you do not know personally...

Domestic Violence: abusive husband, honeymoon stage, kind heart
honeymoon stage, kind heart, abusive husband: Dear Jill, I am right with you and am very impressed that you did the right thing on your own immediately. I believe that God wants us to be married forever but for adultery and abuse I know we are free to leave. I think you are very brave because...

Domestic Violence: abusive relationship, mental games, abusive relationship
mental games, abusive relationship, sad thing: Sometimes a person will not leave permanently until several attempts. Make a plan to leave with leaving contact information for him to find you. Leave while he is away. Make your plans in detail: where, when, set up a separate bank account with separate mailing...

Domestic Violence: Domestic abuse/I hit my uncle, physical standpoint, sad excuse
physical standpoint, sad excuse, unspeakable horror: Hi Luke, Sometimes and in some situations, it is best to just leave everything alone. Bottom line is: you did what you felt was needed to protect a teenager at the time. Something inside of you knew your uncle s actions weren t right. From what you ve...

Domestic Violence: My wife has hit me 13 years, free counseling, healing touch
Domestic Violence: My wife has hit me 13 years, free counseling, healing touch, focus on the family

Domestic Violence: Is my husband abusive?, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, family joy: Hi Natalie, Thank you for writing and asking for ideas of what to do. I am truly sorry that you are experience such abuse in your marriage. Relationships are challenging under the best of circumstances, but when threats and actions of wanting to hit you,...

Domestic Violence: i just a have question, red flags, domestic violence
red flags, domestic violence, truth of the matter: Hi Heather, Thank you for contacting me. I can understand you wanting to vent and not be judged. The truth of the matter is that many women miss the signs that point to future domestic violence. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in someone and the...

Domestic Violence: Update on my situation, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, family joy: Hi Natalie, Thank you for keeping me updated with what is going on. Your question of what I think about your husband accepting to seek treatment for you but he doesn’t think he needs it is someone who is not interested in changing but saying things to “win”...

Domestic Violence: My wife has hit me for 13 years, police the police, 13 years
police the police, 13 years, scars: Get her to agree that if she does not stop assaulting you that you can call the police. The police may not arrest her but they will start a file, and then you can report it each time she does it. If she persists, then talk to her about a separation and counseling...

Domestic Violence: My wife has hit me 13 years, controlling behavior
controlling behavior: Hi Mark, I am so sorry that you are feeling the blame for your wife’s actions. Finding a counselor who understands abusive behavior and manipulation is important to do so that one person is not allowed to use controlling behaviors in the counseling session....

Domestic Violence: What does the Bible say about an abusive marriage?, abuse, marriage
abuse, marriage, divorce: Hi Rachel, I m so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. It is a reality that within the Christian community there are varying opinions with regard to divorce, remarriage and abuse. I can tell you that it is very hard for a pastor to advocate for...

Domestic Violence: emotional abuse, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, family joy: Hi Madeline, Thank you for writing and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear about your controlling parents and know that it must be hard to live with this emotional abuse. The solution is as you have described: For me the only solution is to move on...

Domestic Violence: What is wrong do me and how do I stop this?, avon lady, anger issues
avon lady, anger issues, abusive relationship: Hi Denise, Thank you for contacting me. First, you should somehow understand that you are not responsible for anyone else s actions but your own. It is NOT your fault that your ex abused you. The most important factor is raising your...

Domestic Violence: Report, mental health treatment, lack of self esteem
mental health treatment, lack of self esteem, unhealthy relationships: Hi Ozanne, Thank you for contacting me. I would be glad to help you in any way that I can. I am also a fellow student, so anything that I can do to help, I am here. I hope that you find these answers helpful. Also remember that the...

Domestic Violence: Update Domestic/Physical Abuse, borderline personality disorder, low self esteem
borderline personality disorder, low self esteem, supportive friends: Hi Gayle, It is so good to hear from you again! I am elated to know that you are doing much better and that you seem so much stronger, so kudos to you!! Abuse should NEVER under any circumstances be tolerated by anyone. I commend any survivor...

Domestic Violence: Is this an abusive marriage?, abuse, marriage
abuse, marriage, divorce: Dear A.D. What you are referring to is physical abuse, but there is emotional abuse and verbal abuse as well. Your friend is being abused, most likely on an ongoing basis. Usually a high level of control goes along with the behaviors that you are describing....

Domestic Violence: Christian, abused and confused..., verbal and emotional abuse, christ follower
verbal and emotional abuse, christ follower, worldly possessions: Hi Brianna, Standing up to someone like this takes a lot of internal strength, a well thought out plan, support and a willingness to call on legal authorities if things go bad. It is hard to tell you what to do, simply because each situation is unique and...

Domestic Violence: Emotional abuse...How to repair, Anger, control
Anger, control, separation: Dear Jeremy, You are taking the right steps in seeking professional help for the issues that you have in your own life. As hard as it is, you cannot control what your wife feels or does. When abuse is present in a relationship, there are many emotional...

Domestic Violence: Friend in trouble (?), welfare check, friend in trouble
welfare check, friend in trouble, part time job: Hello, My advice is to call the police and tell them what you told me. Give them her address and ask them to do a welfare check. (They may have some other name for it). This is anonymous. They will never know who called, but it will give you assurance...

Domestic Violence: is there any hope for this relationship, Abuse, anger
Abuse, anger, marital problems: Dear Tracey, I am always leary of stories where one of the spouses has been married over three times. Usually there are reasons for that and I believe you are seeing the reason why your spouse has been married so many times. The counselor you went to probably...

Domestic Violence: im a victm of abuse, abuse, negative thoughts
abuse, negative thoughts, husband: Hi Maryrose, This does sound like it is a very difficult situation, however I was struck by the selfishness of your children. Either they don t understand what life is like for you in this situation or they don t understand that they are old enough to take...

Domestic Violence: Please help me, abuse, boyfriend
abuse, boyfriend, physical abuse: Hi Dhyan, I am so sorry to hear about the terrible things that have happened to your mother and yourself. This is truly a tragedy. Although I don t fully understand your circumstances with regard to not having help available, I can say that if you have...

Domestic Violence: How can she not love me anymore?
Hello Shawn, You are completely missing the point. You are focused on everything but the real issue which is: you abused her. It s not that her boss has an affect on her, that is a moot point. You are looking in all the wrong directions. You are looking...

Domestic Violence: How can she suddenly change to someone I dont know?, domestic violence, abuse
domestic violence, abuse, protective order: Dear Shawn, Your wife is afraid of you. That is why she is doing what she s doing. She also loved you a week before the abuse. That is why she was acting loving. But there comes a time when a victim can t take anymore. It looks like she is there. ...

Domestic Violence: Why is she back tracking?
Dear, Shawn It is probably best that you both don t get back together. But I think the reason why she backs tracked is because she doesn t want to see you go to prison. Most women do that, they don t want to live a life of being abused but they don t want...

Domestic Violence: How can my wife feelinhgs change for me so fast?, domestic violence, abuse
domestic violence, abuse, husband: Dear Shawn, Your question is very difficult to answer simply because I don t know either one of you and you are asking me to explain motives relating to a situation I know nothing about. I can only answer you in general and hope that helps. Often, in...

Domestic Violence: suppressed or not?
Out of respect for your process and for the counselor you are working with, this is a question that should be addressed to that person. What I can say to you is that memory is fluid and any one person can remember a situation differently than any other person....

Domestic Violence: will he change??, abuse, boyfriend
abuse, boyfriend, physical abuse: Dear Sonia, The question of whether a person can change or not is a very common one when working with difficult and/or abusive relationships. It s one of the first questions that comes out of a spouse s mouth, simply because it is a huge deal breaker if...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, family joy: Hi Sonia, Most people who abuse usually have mental health issues. Most people with mental health issues can NOT and do NOT change. Most who start the counseling program do not complete the program because it is too difficult and painful for them. Most...

Domestic Violence: How do I handle an abusive husband, abuse, physical violence
abuse, physical violence, marriage: Dear Rain, There is only one way to handle abusers as violent as this man. LEAVE. Leave now. Do not look back, don t go back, don t talk to him, don t listen to his reasons, his manipulations or his excuses. Don t believe him if he promises to change because...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, family joy: Hi M, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions am very sorry that you are experiencing such events. High stress jobs can take its toll on people but there is NO excuse for using words, looks, intimidation or physical blows EVER on people...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, abuse, husband
abuse, husband, physical abuse: Dear Jackie, I m so sorry to hear this. What a horrible experience. The first thing you should have done was to call the police. Press charges and let him sit in jail. Don t back down. Don t break restraining orders. Choking is at the top of the violence...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, alcohol drug abuse, victims of domestic violence
alcohol drug abuse, victims of domestic violence, causes of domestic violence: Hi Brenna, Thank you for contacting me! I would be happy to help a fellow student. 1. What do you think is the main cause of domestic violence? Explain. There are many causes of domestic violence, which often vary. Abusers and victims of domestic violence...

Domestic Violence: Domestic violence, is it? can it be cured?, abuse, change
abuse, change, apology: Hi Pri and thank you for your question. I will answer your questions point by point because I think it s more easily understood that way. 1. He was sorry after the abuse. Really? If I abused someone in any way and saw that it was an ongoing trait of...

Domestic Violence: regaining our family, abuse, physical
abuse, physical, husband: Hi Abbey, First please let me apologize for the length of time it has taken for me to respond. For some reason my email started putting the notifications in my spam folder so I wasn t aware of your question until today. I am so sorry. The question of...

Domestic Violence: will he change or am i just gullible??, abuse, physical
abuse, physical, husband: Hi Maria, Don t believe it. There is no person on earth with this kind of behavior who could change in two weeks. This is what the cycle of domestic violence looks like. (If you would like a copy, just go to my website under library and download a copy)...

Domestic Violence: Should I stay married after abuse?, volunteer advisor, nicole thomas
volunteer advisor, nicole thomas, allexperts: Hi Gail, Thank you for contacting me and I apologize for the late reply. You have to decide if you are willing to forgive your husband, someone who chose to abuse you. Why would you want to go back to that? Whatever a person s excuse for abuse is, it is...

Domestic Violence: Is my marriage over, abuse, physical
abuse, physical, husband: Hi Allie, I am so sorry to hear what has happened. Long distance relationships can be very hard to maintain and it sounds like this was very hard on both of you. You ask if your marriage is over....that is hard to say. You did the right thing in calling...

Domestic Violence: web site, apologies, signature
apologies, signature: My apologies Gayle. The AllExperts website is supposed to post a signature to all my responses that contains my blog address, my website and my signature. When it comes up as preview on my end, that information is there. If you are not seeing it on your...

Domestic Violence: Abusive Husband, legal binding document, abusive person
legal binding document, abusive person, abusive husband: Dear Kittytruelove, I read your question and will answer, but first I would like to thank you for asking me. I have a few theories but the first one that comes to mind is, perhaps he is afraid that if he signs it and one day you both end up in court,...

Domestic Violence: Why do we stay?, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, joy: Hi S, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. First of all, I am glad to hear that you are in therapy and working through these issues. It is not your fault that your ex behaved in this manner—he just believes he is entitled to treat...

Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse
Delia, Believe me, I know what you mean, I give advice to others and then neglect myself. But you can do it, you just have to make up your mind, your thing is you have a job and a means to support yourself. Other women do not have that luxury, they...

Domestic Violence: i never stop
Darnelte, I ignored your last message, but I figured that I ought to respond this time. So, you never stopped loving me? When the hell did you begin to love me in the first place? You said that you are sorry, well that s something that we can both agree...

Domestic Violence: I think my husband has really changed, but I still don't want to reconcile, domestic violence, divorce
domestic violence, divorce, alcohol: Hi Jennifer, You ask a good question. Staying in a marriage out of obligation is very different than staying in a marriage out of love. From what you are describing, you have gone through the detachment process and there is nothing left emotionally in the...

Domestic Violence: Am I Being Emotionly Abused? If I Am, What Can I Do?
Dear RJ, Sweetheart,never feel bad about wanting to talk to someone about your problems, I have been there. I do not think you are over-reacting, I have been where you are, let me tell you a little about me. My older brother and I were raised...

Domestic Violence: BABY AND I RECENTLY LEFT ABUSIVE PARTNER>>>
Hi Ana, Take every bullet, arrow, knife and rock...whatever you have to prove violence toward you and jeopardizing your baby s safety, and throw them all at him (legally) with hopes that one, if not all, will hit the target. Use everything you have as proof...

Domestic Violence: Last resource...please help me understand, child abuse, extortion
child abuse, extortion: Hi Celina, I am sorry for the delay in getting back to you but I ve been thinking about how to answer your question. First, this is not the life that God designed for you. As you overcome this adversity, you as well as so many others who have faced trauma...

Domestic Violence: Hoping counseling is the next option and that I'm not just being dilusional., abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, joy: Hi Betty, Thank you for writing and asking these very good questions. Relationships are challenging under the best of circumstances but when abuse enters into the picture, something has to change. You are right about how important it is to not have your...

Domestic Violence: I don't know, do you know?, Marriage, trauma
Marriage, trauma, blended family: Thank you for your question. It sounds like you both are having a difficult time. In reality, there is not much you can do for your dad except encourage him to go to counseling. He has to want to change things and until he does, nothing will change. You...

Domestic Violence: is this abuse?, child abuse, intimidation
child abuse, intimidation, domestic violence: Dear Holly, I am not familiar with California resources, but the domestic violence centers would be a good place to start to get information. They would know the resources available to you better than I. You are being abused, not just the children. If you...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence
Hello Sangeeta, I am sorry we are having a problem communicating. I am not understanding what you are saying. It sounds like you are asking what you can do about domestic violence. Unfortunately I am not able to advise you if you are living in India...

Domestic Violence: lost, domestic violence, abuse
domestic violence, abuse: Hello, You have every reason to be afraid. A person who will kill an animal is a high risk for hurting a person. Unfortunately, all you can do is call the police after the fact. Unless you have evidence that your daughter is mentally incapable of protecting...

Domestic Violence: Abusive father, abuse, sexual abuse
abuse, sexual abuse, child abuse: Greetings Sydney, It takes a high level of courage to reach out for help the way that you have done. I applaud you for taking this step. It sounds like you have been speaking up before and that is so difficult to do in homes where abuse is present....

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse and theryapy, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, joy: Hi Susan, The therapist is not obligated to tell your daughter about you contacting her as far as I know. Yes, asking your daughter to accompany you to family therapy would be a good move. Letting your daughter know that you are concerned for her health...

Domestic Violence: my girlfriend is being abused, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, joy: Hi Ian, Thank you for your question and concern. Calling CPS is the right thing to do and keep calling them every time you see abuse. Do any other people see the abuse? If so, have them call CPS as well. The more people that call, the more evidence CPS...

Domestic Violence: child abuse, Pujab, India
Pujab, India, abuse: Hello Zain: I am so sorry for you and your family and I truly wish there was more I could do to help you. Yes I do understand how situations are in your country with regard to what women can and cannot do and yes I am aware of the abuse against children...

Domestic Violence: Nephew abusing my parents
Domestic Violence: Nephew abusing my parents

Domestic Violence: Nephew abusing my parents, elder abuse
elder abuse: I am so sorry that this is happening to your parents. It must be very difficult to watch. :( Unfortunately there is not a lot that you can do. If he is abusing your parents they are the ones who need to press charges and if they won t, they won t. You...

Domestic Violence: no where to run, abuse, shelter
abuse, shelter, violence: Hi Tina, Thank you for writing and asking for some ideas of what to do. As you probably know, you are married to man who needs to control you and your life which is why he does the things he does by giving you a little bit of money and using fear tactics...

Domestic Violence: Dating/Relationships, abuse, counseling
abuse, counseling, joy: Hi Tatianna, Listen to your inner voice and believe what you are seeing. Punching holes through walls is NOT a good sign. And the question is will he punch you the next time instead of the wall or throw something at you and hurt you? It is NOT your fault...

Domestic Violence: AM I BEING ABUSED or SETUP, false allegations, death charges
false allegations, death charges, critized: I am not in a position to define the behavior of you or your wife based on the small bit of information provided here. My advice remains the same. Get the assistance of an unbiased professional to rule out abuse on your part and/or mental illness on your wife...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, chole, tiny woman
chole, tiny woman, beatings: Hi there, Chole! Please excuse the fact it took me so long to get back to you, I m a college student and was on vacation for the holiday. With that said, here goes nothing. My story is one of the millions out there. There are a few important facts to consider...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, signs of child abuse, best of luck
signs of child abuse, best of luck, social worker: Hi Brianna and bless your heart for wanting to help. First of all, if you ever witness child abuse, report it to the police. Second, call a local child protection advocacy in your area and ask them if you can volunteer in any way. If you are interested...

Domestic Violence: What is Abuse ???, leo leo, long term relationship
leo leo, long term relationship, forensic psychiatrist: Leo, Hi, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your concerns. I am actually glad that you took the initiative to contact me to get your concerns addressed. Many people are confused when it comes to the may different forms...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, blood and guts, severe depression
blood and guts, severe depression, extreme points: Anne, Hi Anne, and thank you for contacting me to help you resolve your issues today. First, let me tell you something that you should never, ever do: do not ever downplay violence or abuse, OK. None of this is you fault. You cannot blame yourself...

Domestic Violence: Abuse., family situation, necessary steps
family situation, necessary steps, counselor: Hello. I thank you for your inquiry. YES your brother is abusing you in a physical way. When someone hits you, pushes, shoves you in anger that is considered abuse. I think you should tell your counselor or tell a person whom you feel comfortable talking...

Domestic Violence: If It Is Abuse, Why Do I Feel So Lonely?, disassociative disorder, horrible memory
disassociative disorder, horrible memory, anti depressants: Dear Stephanie, Hi, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. First off, why are you with this creep? What is he giving you in this relationship besides grief and plain misery? He does not work and that is okay...

Domestic Violence: Abuse, abusive relationships, abusive relationship
abusive relationships, abusive relationship, anger management: Terrilynn, Can abusers be changed? Sure they can. What is the likelihood that he will change? Statistically, not very good. Is love enough? Not really, it never is enough. It doesn t hold a non-abusive marriage together, and it doesn t hold parents...

Domestic Violence: Abused by Daughter, verbal abuse, child ren
verbal abuse, child ren, grd: MaryLou, Hello and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. First let me say that I understand what you are going through, I have been in my share of situations where I was abused verbally and in other ways as well....

Domestic Violence: Am I being Abused or Setup ???, body languge, domestic violence advocate
body languge, domestic violence advocate, false accusations: Hi, A couple of possibilities come to mind. 1) Perhaps you are blind to your own behavior and you are more abusive than you believe. I d check this out with an unbiased third party (like a domestic violence advocate) to rule in or rule out this possibility....

Domestic Violence: Can Abusers Change?, negative word, warning signs
negative word, warning signs, mutual friend: You seem to be missing an obvious, but crucial point. Has he ever given you any reason to think that he would be abusive toward you? This mutual friend may have an agenda of their own. Whether or not he was abusive to his ex is an important point to consider,...

Domestic Violence: Abusive Behavior, abusive behavior, yhat
abusive behavior, yhat, logical solution: Denise, Happy Holidays! Thank you for choosing me to help you with your dilemma today. Well first off, yes he is exhibiting abusive behavior towards you. Why are you allowing someone to control you? You are a grown woman I presume, so he has no...

Domestic Violence: Very Abusive Brother, great mother, health issue
great mother, health issue, lumps: Jonathan, I do apologize dearly for the delay, I really need to work on my time management skills, big time. But anyhow, I really can understand what you are going through. I went through something similar with my brother when we were both teenagers....

Domestic Violence: Abusive Father, pet rabbits, dream career
pet rabbits, dream career, abusive father: Hello Pheobe: I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Please understand that what happened was an accident and that you are not to blame for your father s anger and abuse towards you. I realize that you are in a bad situation that can not continue....

Domestic Violence: Abusive Fathers, psychology class, domestic violence
psychology class, domestic violence, light on the subject: Dear Michelle, Thankyou for taking the time out to email me, I will do my best to answer your questions to the best of my ability. Psychology has always been and will always be my favorite subject, you learn so much about yourself and others while...

Domestic Violence: Is an Abusive Relationship a one-time occurence or Ongoing & habitual incdents, abusive relationship, reoccuring
abusive relationship, reoccuring, physical assault: There are other issues than abuse here. It seems the two of you are very unhappy in this marriage and compete to see who has done what. I would suggest therapy if you really want to stay together. There just seems to be something deeper that is going on...

Domestic Violence: Abusive Relationships For My Mother and a Friend, womans shelter, abusive relationships
womans shelter, abusive relationships, abusive relationship: Dianne, Thank you for contacting me. First off, you need to understand that you are not Mother Teresa. You cannot save everybody and everybody does not want to be saved. As far as your mother goes, you need to encourage her to end things with her...

Domestic Violence: Accused of abuse--a trend against US men, permanent resident requirements, false police report
permanent resident requirements, false police report, elgin illinois: Hi John, No, I have not heard of this but it does sound like a scam. How awful for the unsuspecting spouse. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I belong to several sites and will post this information. It DOES need to be exposed. I hope everything...

Domestic Violence: ADULT ABUSE CHARGE, first time offenders, adult abuse
first time offenders, adult abuse, evaluation class: Hello, I can t help you. Sorry. You need the advice of an attorney. I am not sure about the laws in your state, but in VA, the state can take our charges and does not need the victim to press charges or appear as a witness. This sounds like what happened...

Domestic Violence: Age Issue, temporary restraining order, intervention program
temporary restraining order, intervention program, last sunday: Paola, Hello again. I hope that all is well with you. I read your question to me and I feel somewhat that you have made a bed for yourself and now you have to lie in it to some extent or leave. You are married to a 20-year old boy, and you have to...

Domestic Violence: How Can I Apologize and Change, nicole thomas, eric eric
nicole thomas, eric eric, allexperts: Eric, Hi there!! Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. I have had such a hectic week, but I am glad that the weekend is approaching. Anyhow, Eric I am glad and very proud of you for maintaining a therapist. These days, people are...

Domestic Violence: abuse, brain chemistry, blood and guts
brain chemistry, blood and guts, abusive person: Hi Kim, When we are raised around the threat or actions of an abusive person, it s like always waiting for the other shoe to drop so our emotions aren t able to relax and neither are our muscles. Kind of like holding your breath all the time. What this...

Domestic Violence: abuse, sexual assult, breaking down doors
sexual assult, breaking down doors, abusive relationship: Hi, You cannot drop the charges because you are not the one who took them out. If the crown is pursuing this, they must feel that there is evidence that he did wrong. You are not ruining anyone s life by holding them accountable. You could be saving someone...

Domestic Violence: abuse, mid forties, emotional and mental abuse
mid forties, emotional and mental abuse, mr hyde: Dear S. First I want to applaud you for the courage of finally walking away. Most women don t do that and lose their lives in the process. Let me tell you something, I have wondered that too, why men treat me so bad and then the next women they...

Domestic Violence: abuse after divorce, soul mate, father didn
soul mate, father didn, bullit: Hi Barbara: I know this situation is very difficult for you. Yes, abuse often continues after the marriage ends. It sounds like your husband found a soul mate in this abusive woman. Many times an abuser will poison the mind of their new partner (her)against...

Domestic Violence: abuse/family relationship/love, glimmer of hope, family relationship
glimmer of hope, family relationship, child welfare: Hello Kaya: My name is Susan. I thank you for your inquiry. I read your story and first I must say my heart truly goes out to you and your children. I know this is a very difficult time for you but I am happy to know that you and your children are separated...

Domestic Violence: abuse in my marriage, little happiness, using a lawyer
little happiness, using a lawyer, abusive marriage: Hello Ginger, First of all, I m not gonna lie to you and tell you it is easy to get out of an abusive marriage, especially when there are children involved. But my motto is: you only live once, so you might as well be happy. You need to start by going to...

Domestic Violence: abuse after relationship ended, batter women, abusive relationship
batter women, abusive relationship, banging my head: Dear Linda, I received your question and I apologize for not responding sooner, I haven t been feeling well enough for the past couple of days. But I will do my best to answer your question. There are many reasons as to why people abuse other people,...

Domestic Violence: abuse, blood and guts, severe depression
blood and guts, severe depression, extreme points: Hi Anne, First I want you to know that I am not a professional Doctor but I do have common sense. I felt sad when I read your story but I am glad that you are not someone who looks at their life and they just cant get over it, at least when you get ready...

Domestic Violence: Can an abuser change?, batterer, presense
batterer, presense, domestic violence: Hi Julia, Well you are right, it is your decision. I don t know what more I can say except that be careful and be safe. As long as you are definite that your baby wont be hurt. With my ex husband, I have not seen him in years, he has been married again...

Domestic Violence: Can abusers change, physical violence, anger management
physical violence, anger management, management class: Hi, It s always possible for people to change, but I know that there isn t a anger management class out there that accomplishes this. I really couldn t tell you by what method he could do this only that HE has to want it. Sorry. I wish there were better...

Domestic Violence: abusive fathers, other search engines, college library
other search engines, college library, personal opinion: Dear Jnovacek, I am sorry for not responding accordingly, I never received your email until one of the coordinators contacted me personally, I do apologize. Now in response for your question there is plenty of information on what you are looking for. You...

Domestic Violence: How do abusive people seem to have the victom accused, mr hyde, victom
mr hyde, victom, painful surgery: Hello, Your situation is not unique. That s what batterers do. They are very skilled manipulators. Fortunately, educated judges and advocates know this. My advice is to hook up with a local domestic violence advocate who can help you get through this....

Domestic Violence: adult abuse, name of jesus, adult abuse
name of jesus, adult abuse, counceling: Dear Ali I looked up some info and this is what I found: 1. http://www.kalimunro.com/ 2. http://www.wordsofhope.com One is online counceling and help that will help you and the other is inspirational stories that will help you and let you know...

Domestic Violence: The affects of domestic violence, dawn bradley berry, self esteem issues
dawn bradley berry, self esteem issues, marriage counseling: Traci ANY act that violates your self esteem, whether it be physical or emotional, is abuse. He does realize that it upsets you and you do not like it and yet he continues to do it; why? Because he does not respect your feelings or himself. He has low self...

Domestic Violence: afraid to call police because of own warrant, domestic violence hotline, outstanding warrants
domestic violence hotline, outstanding warrants, woman syndrome: Hello, I can t guarantee that she won t also be arrested for her outstanding warrants, but it seems that the choice is perhaps between being killed and being held responsible for a minor issue. I don t think that she has a choice. This man is seriously...

Domestic Violence: alcohol, nicole thomas, allexperts
nicole thomas, allexperts, physical abuse: Mary, Hi and how are you? I have been trying to find some statistics for you, I have been looking on search engines and I will continue to try to find what you are looking for. I will get back with you in a couple of days, or sooner if I find what...

Domestic Violence: alot of questions~, accidental deaths, attourney
accidental deaths, attourney, pressing charges: Hello, I am sorry that I cannot help you with this. You need to talk to an attorney. You have done all the things that I would recommend. An attorney will be more knowledgeable about local practices and can help you more than I could. Jurisdiction belongs...

Domestic Violence: arbitration, victims of domestic violence, abusive marriage
victims of domestic violence, abusive marriage, michigan supreme court: Hello, I agree with the advice that trying to overturn the arbitration through appeal is an expensive and likely futile effort. There are some things you can do however. 1) File a complaint against the arbitrator. I am not sure about the way things work...

Domestic Violence: Battered Men and Divorce, e mail providers, walking into doors
e mail providers, walking into doors, darling girls: Dear Roger, Hello there, and thank you for choosing me again to help you with your issues. I was glad to hear that you have been deciding ending your marriage with your wife. I think that that is the best decision for you right now, and do not worry...

Domestic Violence: Battered Men, battered men, abusive relationship
battered men, abusive relationship, psychological abuse: Dear Roger, Hello there, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues. Actually, I am glad that you contacted me Roger because there are thousands of men in your same position; woman are not the only ones who get battered,...

Domestic Violence: Battered Women, resource mobilization theory, criminal justice class
resource mobilization theory, criminal justice class, abusive husbands: Dear Manuelita, Thankyou for writing me. So I see you are interested in Criminal Justice, what an interesting field. Well you asked what the resource mobilization theory is, well I ll try to explain it as best I can. My theory may be different from what...

Domestic Violence: Beaten by the One You Love, retired police, high time
retired police, high time, fir: Claudia, Hi, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. I first want to say that any kind of abuse in a relationship is wrong and it should NEVER be tolerated. The way that I got through it is the same way that you...

Domestic Violence: Book research, flare ups, marital rape
flare ups, marital rape, loving relationship: Sorry, I am not a doctor and don t work in an ER. I know that doctors are supposed to report suspected abuse of children and are supposed to screen for domestic violence in adults, but I have never gotten a case that way, nor have I advocated in court for...

Domestic Violence: Your Book, taos nm, prevention coordinator
taos nm, prevention coordinator, face in the mirror: Hi Tammy, If it s from my book, I believe you need to get a release from my publisher, Hay House. The contact there is: jclark@hayhouse.com I would love to read it. I was born and raised in Silver City, NM. How close are you? Dianne My email addy...

Domestic Violence: Is My Boyfriend Abusing Me?, computer issues, nineteen years
computer issues, nineteen years, boy friend: Casey, Hello, and thank you for taking the time out to choose me to help you with your dilemma. I do apologize for not getting back with you sooner, despite dealing with numerous health problems, I have also been dealing with computer issues as well....

Domestic Violence: My Brother Abuses My Youngest Brother, body slam, parenting skills
body slam, parenting skills, boys fight: Dear Worried Sister, Thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding your family dilemma. Well, first off, let me just say that it seems to me that your parents are lacking in their parenting skills. There is no way in hell that I would put up...

Domestic Violence: My brother emotionally abuses me when I try to visit my elderly father, elderly father, veiled threats
elderly father, veiled threats, adult protective services: Hello: I thank you for your inquiry. I am sorry for the emotional stress and pain that you are going through. My suggestion that I can offer you would be to contact Adult Protective Services again and explain to them how your brother acts towards you whenever...

Domestic Violence: I Called ................Now Will I Pay??, gross neglect, extreme cruelty
gross neglect, extreme cruelty, fri: Dear Michelle, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with what you are going through at this time. I really do have much empathy for you. It is sad that your soon-to-be ex-husband wants custody of the children but yet he...

Domestic Violence: Caught Between 2 Sides of Him, heavy drinker, intense anger
heavy drinker, intense anger, unhealthy relationship: Cynthia, You can never take up to much of my time. John has a problem that he needs help with. You can t help him with this problem. He needs professional help. I am not saying that he is crazy, I am saying that he has a problem that many people...

Domestic Violence: CHILD ABUSE, behavior problem, family situation
behavior problem, family situation, behavior problems: Hello, Your story is unclear. Who was hit with the bat? Your husband or son? Behavior problems is not an excuse for hitting a child- particularly with a weapon, such as a bat. Yes, you can be charged with abuse for a situation like that. It sounds...

Domestic Violence: No One in Charge, sexual assault survivors, murder attempts
sexual assault survivors, murder attempts, phone tapping: Hello, The advice for any victim/survivor of abuse is always going to be individual because no one has the same situation. It may be appropriate to cooperate with the abuser for a time to keep the abuse from escalating. It is not the role of a survivor...

Domestic Violence: Church Pressure, sanctity of marriage, own two feet
sanctity of marriage, own two feet, prayer meetings: Gretchen, Thank you for contacting me. First off, if I were you I would be the strong and unapologetic person that I am and tell those church members to kiss my ass. I hate when people bring religion into things that religion is uncalled for. Yes,...

Domestic Violence: Going Back to College, free application for federal student aid, federal student aid
free application for federal student aid, federal student aid, financial aid information: Dear Debbie, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your concern. Yes, there are grants and other financial aid available for you to go back to school. I am currently a college student myself; I am majoring in biology...

Domestic Violence: Comment, dianne schwartz, inner spirit
dianne schwartz, inner spirit, abusive situation: Hi Angie! What a nice message. I always appreciate it so much when I know my words have helped another. And, how happy am I to know you are out of that bad relationship! Yea! Go deep inside and ask why it s easier to believe the bad instead of the good....

Domestic Violence: Confused!, thing about men, nicole thomas
thing about men, nicole thomas, allexperts: Marie, Hi, I apologize for taking so long to provide an answer to your question Marie, but actually the answer is very simple: move on with your life honey. Why are you trying to drift backwards? You should be trying to move forward. Let me tell...

Domestic Violence: Confused, last fight, questioners
last fight, questioners, escalates: Amanda, Hello again, and again I do apologize for not getting back with you as quickly as I should have. I have been quite busy and now, unfortunately, I am quite ill. But my questioners are all important to me, so that is why I will give you the best...

Domestic Violence: Control After Divorce, domestic violence relationship, hell and high water
domestic violence relationship, hell and high water, order of protection: Helen, I received your email and I thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. Well, I believe that you need to do whatever you need to do to protect you and your children from harm. You and your children s safety is...

Domestic Violence: Criminal action, domestic violence cases, domestic violence law
domestic violence cases, domestic violence law, msw: I am sorry. I am not an expert on the evolution of domestic violence law or how it is handled procedurally in states other than VA. I know that in VA the state takes out the charges against the abuser, so the action is not brought by the wife. The wife may...

Domestic Violence: child, what constitutes child abuse, verbal abuse
what constitutes child abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse: This could constitute as verbal abuse. Physical abuse is a fuzzy issue here, parents have the right to discipline their children, and if no bruises are left on the child it would be hard to prove physical abuse. However, this seems to be an inappropriate way...

Domestic Violence: child, anger management skills, adult manner
anger management skills, adult manner, what constitutes child abuse: Hi! It is heartbreaking when you see anyone treating a child in a harsh manner. A one year old can not reason in an adult manner. Sometimes it gives parents a wake-up call when another person points out their mannerisms. Maybe you could say something...

Domestic Violence: child, case ratio, what constitutes child abuse
case ratio, what constitutes child abuse, verbal abuse: Although screaming at the child does technically constitute verbal abuse, it is very difficult to prove. Whether we want to face the fact or not, in most instances, Child Protective Services will not intervene unless there is evidence of severe neglect, or...

Domestic Violence: court, gross neglect, extreme cruelty
gross neglect, extreme cruelty, fri: The best thing you can do is ask your counselor if he/she will testify to what is in the best interest of the children. If you have an unbiased third party with credentials to testify that the children would be best served with limited visitation, that would...

Domestic Violence: Am I creating this behaviour, relationship counselling, behaviours
relationship counselling, behaviours, new job: Hello: I thank you for contacting me. After carefully reviewing your inquiry. I believe that you and your husband are at the beginning stages of an abusive relationship and should seek support and counseling in your area. Any time a person feels a need...

Domestic Violence: criminal charges against female for domestic violence, domestic violence laws, verbal and emotional abuse
domestic violence laws, verbal and emotional abuse, unfortunate circumstance: From what you have said, she hasn t actually caused any physical injury to date. Unfortunately, most state s domestic violence laws require some sort of physical injury. Another VERY unfortunate circumstance is that men will usually have a harder time convincing...

Domestic Violence: My Daughter, violent relationship, relationship problem
violent relationship, relationship problem, nicole thomas: Leesa, Thank you for contacting me. Unfortunately Leesa the only thing that you can do is to do nothing. This is your daughter s relationship problem and she has to make the decision of whether or not to leave. I understand how you feel, but she...

Domestic Violence: Dear Jes.My name is Kate..., collapse of the roman empire, mild depression
collapse of the roman empire, mild depression, gallow: While physical violence is easier to portray, through bruises and broen bones, mental abuse is harder. After so long of hearing that everything is YOUR fault, this becomes truth to you. Apologizing frequently, and for things you have no control over, is one...

Domestic Violence: Dear Kate, I wanted to thank..., research librarian, t rush
research librarian, t rush, battered men: Thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much to know I can make a difference in someone s life and help them when they reach out. I don t know that you need to focus too much. He will lead you in the direction in which he needs to go. You might...

Domestic Violence: Desperate, e mail address, short temper
e mail address, short temper, marital rape: Margaret, It s me again, I believe that I told you the wrong subject line to click on. Your answer can be found under the subject with Marital Rape in it. I am so sorry, I thought that I told you right at first, please forgive me. But if you do contact...

Domestic Violence: Difference in Domestic Violence and Anger, final decisions, domestic violence
final decisions, domestic violence, side step: Dear Jenny, Hello there again. I was glad to hear from you again today. I value all of my questioners, so do not ever feel like it is a bother to contact me, I do this because it is what s in my heart, so whether you have one, two, or a million and...

Domestic Violence: Divorce Closure, sara sara, daughter sara
sara sara, daughter sara, community mental health: Ed, you didn t say how severe the abuse was or how long it went on, but if anger remains, it would be best for the daughter and the mother to engage in some counseling to work through the left-overs. Often, a group therapy setting can be useful for this, as...

Domestic Violence: Divorce, verbal and emotional abuse, abusive relationships
verbal and emotional abuse, abusive relationships, true essence: Dear Meagan, First of all, congratulations on what you ve done to better yourself and the future of your child. I think it s wonderful! I see great hope for you. Okay, abusive relationships get confusing and especially after we ve left one. So many doubts...

Domestic Violence: DOMESTIC ABUSE, shame and guilt, mental health issues
shame and guilt, mental health issues, children of divorce: Dear Linda, I received your email, I do not know why I am just now receiving it because I see that you sent it about a week ago, well I guess it was overlooked somehow, but I am here now and I will help you in the best way that I can. As far as theories...

Domestic Violence: Dom Viol Advocate, domestic violence agency, domestic violence advocate
domestic violence agency, domestic violence advocate, victim witness: Hey! Glad to have you aboard! Just locate your closest domestic violence agency and volunteer. They are always looking for someone to man the hotlines, run a group or accompany victims to forensic exams. You can call 1-800-799-SAFE and they can help...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Abuse or Normal?, grounds for divorce, benefit of the doubt
grounds for divorce, benefit of the doubt, freak out: Dear J, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. Well J, I find that your situation at present is very intriguing to me. Yes, to start off, you are being abused, just because your husband has not blackened...

Domestic Violence: Domestic and sexual abuse., victem, rachel rachel
victem, rachel rachel, domestic violence: Rachel, Keep repeating I was a victim of rape and domestic violence Each time you find yourself thinking of those good times, say that to yourself out loud three times and silently three times. Then, give your new situation an open heart and if you still...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, domestic violence crimes, domestic violence cases
domestic violence crimes, domestic violence cases, domestic violence case: 1) How many domestic violence cases have you worked on? Unfortunately hundreds. If I had to put a real number on it, I would have to say between 200-300. 2) Do you believe that the media has any type of influence on domestic violence? I think the...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, abusive situation, domestic violence
abusive situation, domestic violence, line of fire: Yes, to remove yourself from the immediate presence of the abuser. As to preventing, no such thing unless the abuser gets professional help, and even then, there are no guarantees. The abusers do not, as a rule, change; therefore it is incumbent on the victim...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, victims of domestic violence, murder with special circumstances
victims of domestic violence, murder with special circumstances, act of violence: Dear Chey, Hello and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues. Let me first say that I apologize for not getting back with you sooner; I have been extremely busy, so please blame my head and not my heart. Well Chey,...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, abusive relationship, domestic violence
abusive relationship, domestic violence, few short years: Dear Tianna, Hello Tianna, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues at the moment. I love your name, by the way, quite unique and creative. When I read your question to me, my heart sank a bit. When I was your age...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, time heals all wounds, good feelings
time heals all wounds, good feelings, abusive relationship: J, Hi there, I hope that are feeling a little better emotionally since you composed your question to me. I am sorry that I took sooooooooooo long to respond back, but here I am now. I can really understand what you are going through right now...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, national coalition against domestic violence, nicole thomas
national coalition against domestic violence, nicole thomas, reputable organization: Tracey, Hello and thank you for contacting me. I can help you with your paper by answering some questions, however, if you want specific statistics on domestic violence, I would advise you to do research that by going to the National Coalition Against...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, anger problem, domestic violence
anger problem, domestic violence, anonymous group: Maricruz, Hello and thank you for being patient with me, I apologize for the delay. Your husband s behavior is not normal, it seems as though he has an anger problem that he should seek help with. He has hit you and abused you before, why are you...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, domestic violence website, national coalition for domestic violence
domestic violence website, national coalition for domestic violence, ncadv: Theresa, Thank you for contacting me. I would be glad to be of any help that I can. Your most valuable resources for writing your speech will come from your own research. You should visit your school or community library and you can also conduct...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence and Clemency for Women who Kill, battered wife syndrome, vandalia mo
battered wife syndrome, vandalia mo, voluntary manslaughter: Hello, I wish I could help you, but this is not my area of expertise. Sorry. I would suggest looking for an attorney that specializes in battered wife syndrome ... although statistically speaking this isn t particularly helpful. I will check with my...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence/Interview, domestic violence cases, physical abuse cases
domestic violence cases, physical abuse cases, survivors of domestic violence: 1)How do you feel about domestic violence, do you think it is good/bad and why? I, personally, feel that all domestic violence is bad. I don t think that violence, in any form, is ever the answer to any problem. The real issue is that domestic violence...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence in a Marriage, dating a married man, newlywed couple
dating a married man, newlywed couple, egg shells: Dear Sonia, Thank you for your patience. It s difficult to reach out and admit you are a victim of domestic violence, isn t it? I remember the shame and guilt that I felt when I did it so I understand. I have worked with women who are also of the...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence Question, violence question, repeated domestic violence
violence question, repeated domestic violence, nicole thomas: Andrew, Thanks for contacting me again. I do apologize for not getting back with you sooner, I have not been feeling well this week. As far as what you need for your research, you can easily surf the Internet for website resources on your topic. ...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence Retaliation is just, repeated domestic violence, deadly force
repeated domestic violence, deadly force, retaliation: Dear Sir, Actually no, but in the mist of the violence if deadly force is used I suppose a Jury might be moved towards compassion for the person who used the deadly force. I am not an expert in law so I think it would be unfair for me to really give you...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence is just response, repeated domestic violence, dely
repeated domestic violence, dely, deadly force: Please excuse my dely in answering, family member was ill: This is a non-question. A victim s use of force can legally be argued either way, deadly or other. Personally, I believe self-defense is warrented, to whatever degree needed. The degree, however,...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence/Self Defense, domestic violence self, victims of domestic violence
domestic violence self, victims of domestic violence, repeated domestic violence: Dear Jon, Hello and thank you for taking the time to choose to help you with your question and topic information. I assume from your question to me that you are working on some type of research or special project, or you may just want the information...

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, utmost expertise, violence in the united states
utmost expertise, violence in the united states, domestic violence: Dear Maddhia, Hi, thanks for asking my help. I m here to offer the utmost expertise that I can. The questions that you asked me are excellent. I ll tell you what I know and what you need to know. Well, violence in the U.S today is very serious. Especially...

Domestic Violence: I Don't Know How to Get Past This..., domestic violence, mutual friend
domestic violence, mutual friend, criminal case: Dear Michelle, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. Well, Michelle the key word in your question to me is recently. That is what we are working with here. You have just separated from your husband,...

Domestic Violence: I Don't Know What to Do, adult survivors of child sexual abuse, survivors of child sexual abuse
adult survivors of child sexual abuse, survivors of child sexual abuse, physical intimacy: Mariza, Hi again, sorry I took so long getting back with you, it has been a hectic and frustrating week for me, but nevertheless I do think that you should explain this situation to your son as best you can. I have not had the privilege to parent a...

Domestic Violence: Drugs and Lesbian Domestic Violence, personal fitness training, lesbian domestic violence
personal fitness training, lesbian domestic violence, massage teacher: Robert, Why would you want to be involved with such a dysfunctional woman? It is clear (from an outsiders view and one who isn t emotionally involved) that she has used you. I know that we want to believe someone cares for us as much as we do for them but...

Domestic Violence: DV assault, black eye, washington state
black eye, washington state, girlfriend: Hi Derick, I feel the only option would be for your girlfriend to appear in court on your behalf and explain what happened. Would she do this? Also, do you have a defender? Please consider walking away if this ever happens again. Plus, are you sure you...

Domestic Violence: how can i make dcf see the abuse that is happening, emotional breakdown, emotional issues
emotional breakdown, emotional issues, grandma: I am so sorry for your trouble; you will need to get an attorney who specializes in family law, at NO COST to you, so you have the best assistance in reclaiming your own children. I am including a link to a web site for you to search and find an attorney in...

Domestic Violence: disaater marriage, religious point, guilty party
religious point, guilty party, deep hole: Dear Auyubmkhan, Thankyou for choosing me to help you with your issues. I am glad to hear from a man for once, and yes I have counseled men on domestic violence, every situation is different. Your story of what you are going through right now has...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, media literacy class, emotional scars
media literacy class, emotional scars, old feelings: Hi, Reggie! I can t answer all of your questions, but some I can. Here goes nothing! -Results of an abused teen can vary with the teen. Some turn to drugs, alcohol and self-harm. Often they are depressed, angry and feel quilty and blame themselves, even...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, domestic abuse, bullies
domestic abuse, bullies, waves: When kids are abused or see or know about their parent being abused, they are carrying a terrible secret that most will not tell to others. They then feel different from other kids, and that can result in different reactions. Some kids just sort of fade into...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, kind of madness, awake night
kind of madness, awake night, thoughts and feelings: Hi Jem, You re probably going to find this hard to believe but your question is very common with battered women. A woman, on the average, will return to her abuser seven times before finally leaving for good and some, will never leave because they are killed....

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse legal advise, getting a divorce, divorce court
getting a divorce, divorce court, exparte: Hi, The first thing you need to do is hook up with a LOCAL domestic violence advocate. I don t know the laws of your locality, and I don t know what the conditions of your protective order are so I can t really advise you. The courthouse is right in...

Domestic Violence: domestic abuse, counselor training, unrelated topic
counselor training, unrelated topic, abuse victim: I don t know how helpful I can be. Personally, when I went to counseling, I was pleased with how my case was handled. A first, I was put at ease asked about other subjects, school, friends, home, and I decided what to say and what direction the conversation...

Domestic Violence: domestic/emotional abuse, bad vibes, negative emotions
bad vibes, negative emotions, abusive relationship: Hi Toni: I thank you for contacting me regarding your situation. First I am sorry for the emotional abuse you endured. But I am glad you made the right choice to get out of the relationship. When healing from any abusive situation you must realize that...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, anger management, daycares
anger management, daycares, management class: Hi Sheila: I thank you for your message and I am sorry for the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. I ve read your question very carefully and it s clear to me that you should take every precaution to protect you and your children. It s good that...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, anger management classes, offering education
anger management classes, offering education, anger management: Thanks for your question, Shannon. People disclose when they feel safe and accepted. Only when they are sure the perpetrator will not be able to punish them for disclosing will they feel free to do so. This is actually quite difficult to guarantee, of...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, domestic vilence, domestic violence cases
domestic vilence, domestic violence cases, violent relationships: Dear Shannon, Thankyou for emailing me about the information that you need. I would be happy to assist you in any way possible. It may take me a few days to compile the information, I just finished doing the same exact thing for another student over the...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, senor project, proud survivor
senor project, proud survivor, life philosophies: Nese, Hello, and how are you? Thankyou for choosing me to assist you with whatever it is you need. You chose a really good question, one that many seem to forget to ask at times, this must mean that you are a very intelligent young lady, like myself...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, domestic violence court, opening remarks
domestic violence court, opening remarks, defense attorney: In court during a court proceeding the victim will face his or her accuser. The Accuser will face, the victim, Judge and the prosecuting atttorny. The State, the Judge and then(the prosecutor) will start by introducing himself and the victim, he will then...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, domestic violence
domestic violence: You know at first I wasn t going to answer the question because I don t think anything instigates it, because if you are defiant then most abusers get angry and become abusive or if you are quiet because you are scared and try not to say anything that might...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence emotional support/leaving, alternative housing, domestic violence
alternative housing, domestic violence, transitional housing: Hello, I am sorry I cannot answer your question with any specificity because I am not aware of what your locality offers, but there are transitional housing options that help people who are homeless due to recently getting out of jail, escaping domestic...

Domestic Violence: domestic violence, domestic violence, abuse awareness
domestic violence, abuse awareness, warning signs: I thank you for taking time to send me your question regarding domestic violence. The best way to prevent domestic violence is to become knowledgable with regard to the warning signs that abusers often display. If you d like you may visit my website Climbing...

Domestic Violence: i don't know what to do, temper tantrum, homework school
temper tantrum, homework school, parenting style: First of all, let me say I totally understand the court thing, and the frustration you must have. You should go the police, even if they cannot do anything, just to get it on record. If your son has bruises, or even pictures of them, you have a good chance...

Domestic Violence: dont know what to do, harms way, self harm
harms way, self harm, few more years: Hi, Steffi. I m going to give you the best advice I can, and also share with you some of my story, as you and I are a lot alike. The most important thing in the world is protecting yourself. You may think that by protecting yourself you may put others in harms...

Domestic Violence: Effects on Children, victims of domestic violence, violence children
victims of domestic violence, violence children, proper intervention: Children are the secondary victims of domestic violence. Children who witnessed violence early in life may view the world as unpredictable, possibly dangerous, or chaotic. The basic attachment of the child to the adult is at risk. This early relationship...

Domestic Violence: Effects of domestic abuse, alcohol and drugs, peer counseling
alcohol and drugs, peer counseling, abused children: In school, for the most part, there are two types of reactions to home abuse. Either the child is silent and withdrawn, or they become abusive to their peers. However, most abused children abuse themselves, be it with alcohol and drugs or cutting and self-harm....

Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse, heart transplant, domestic violence
heart transplant, domestic violence, emotional abuse: Dear Amy, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues at the moment. First, let me apologize for not getting back with you sooner. I have been extremely busy, so please blame my head and not my heart. Okay,...

Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse, emotional abuse, maltreatment
emotional abuse, maltreatment, three kids: Hello Ann: I thank you for your inquiry regarding emotional abuse. To answer your question, YES your boyfriend is emotionally and physically abusng his daughter. This is emotional abuse at it s worst because he s actually taking out his frustrations of...

Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse?, better wife, color eye
better wife, color eye, emotional abuse: Dear Kelly, Hello Kelly, and thank you for taking the time out to choose me to help you with your dilemma. First off, it is a shame that you have tolerated your husband s verbal abuse for this long, and although he has not abused you physically, it...

Domestic Violence: Am I Being Too Emotional?, real boobs, intimate encounter
real boobs, intimate encounter, photo of a girl: Tracey, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues. I am just now receiving your question to me; I have had a family emergency and I have back and forth to the hospital over the past few days so please forgive...

Domestic Violence: I Am Being Emotionally Abused, hiv and aids, physical relationship
hiv and aids, physical relationship, sorry ass: M, Well, well, well,. Hello, by the way. When I read your question to me I could already relate and drift back to my own situation after reading only a few words. The main question here is: Why the hell are you putting up with his s***? You are...

Domestic Violence: Emotionally Drained..., race car driver, loving personality
race car driver, loving personality, short temper: Adonelle, Thanks again for your patience. My heart really goes out to you and your situation, but Adonelle, for God s sake you need to end your marriage with this idiot. Name-calling is a juvenile characteristic, but in all seriousness, you have children...

Domestic Violence: End the Relationship?, separate lives, friends place
separate lives, friends place, otherside: Anne, Hello again, and thank you for being so patient with me. Well, in response to your question, yes this relationship that you are in needs to end and it should have ended a long time ago. Anytime you are being abused, mistreated, or just not...

Domestic Violence: effects of domestic abuse, verbal and mental abuse, healing the wounds
verbal and mental abuse, healing the wounds, survivors of abuse: Hello: I thank you for your inquiry. The various affects of abuse can follow us throughout our lives. One of the first BIG steps to your healing process is to talk about your fears with your husband and ask him for his support as you continue your healing....

Domestic Violence: emotional abuse or emotional blackmail?, emotional blackmail, atomic bomb
emotional blackmail, atomic bomb, devastations: You welcome Jennifer,,, I am glad that you ve made up your mind and left. I think from the outside looking in and also I have prayed and asked the Lord Jesus to help and this is what I believe is happening, you know how someone wants to break up but they...

Domestic Violence: emotional abuse, lifetime pattern, marital counseling
lifetime pattern, marital counseling, relationship work: Hillarie, burying those feelings is not a good option, but punishing him with them will not be useful if you want to make the relationship work. As you see real change happening in your relationship over time, you will be closer to forgiveness. So far, you...

Domestic Violence: emotional/psychological abuse of my child, law guardian, exhusband
law guardian, exhusband, kittens: Dear Mary, I really don t have a degree when it comes to this field but I can say the answer to both of your questions is yes. It is only fair that you tell the law guardian because it may save a life and also he does need help and treatment. He...

Domestic Violence: Am I being emotionally abused? Should I stay?, national abuse hotline, suicide threats
national abuse hotline, suicide threats, helpful resources: Hello: Yes if you feel you are being emotionally abused and if the relationship is making you unhappy you should consider options that are available to you. It sounds as though your husband is isolating you from family and friends and he s emotionally...

Domestic Violence: Will there be an end?, victim of domestic violence, eldest son
victim of domestic violence, eldest son, youngest daughter: Dear Danni, As soon as I read what you had to say, I truly prayed for the correct answer to give to you. Never blame yourself for anything in this case because that is what the aggressor wants you to do, that is his way of still having control...

Domestic Violence: what exactly is the problem???, abusive parent, shoneys
abusive parent, shoneys, gas money: Dear ?, Let me start by telling you this, I am saved and totally in Love with the Lord and I love my Mother now too. But before Christ and forgiveness I could not stand my mother, she was married many times(7) and believe me she always put her men before...

Domestic Violence: Is It My Fault?, papua new guinea, emotional wounds
papua new guinea, emotional wounds, switch blade: Dear Marilyn Hello and thank you for taking the time out to choose me to help you with your dilemma. First, let me apologize for not responding sooner than normal, I just got over being ill and I have been extremely busy since then, but what you had...

Domestic Violence: File a complaint against a mediator, binding decisions, descion
binding decisions, descion, code of ethics: Hello, Arbitration is binding. Whatever decision the arbitrator came to is the same as if you were heard in court by a judge. If a contract requires arbitration or if you agree to arbitration in lieu of a hearing, you cannot challenge the decision. If...

Domestic Violence: Filing Charges, domestic violence advocate, emergency protective order
domestic violence advocate, emergency protective order, month old baby: Hello, A magistrate is an appointed person who has the authority to hear evidence and take out warrants. If you look in the white pages for your city, you should see them listed there. Where I live, the magistrate is located in the courthouse complex and...

Domestic Violence: Can I Finally Leave After 10 Years?, laptop chargers, egg shells
laptop chargers, egg shells, abusive behavior: Lou, Hello again, and thank you for your patience. In response to your question you already know what you need to do. I have been through similar situations like what you described. I had to learn to love myself and to put my well-being first and...

Domestic Violence: How Can I Fix This?, abusive relationship, living hell
abusive relationship, living hell, four bottles: Dear Amber, Good afternoon, thankyou for taking the time to choose me in helping you solve your dilemma. Well, first off Amber, let me start by saying that I am tough and sometimes I get flack for it. I do not sugercoat anything and I always always...

Domestic Violence: Follow Up, domestic violence conviction, anger issues
domestic violence conviction, anger issues, criminal record: Michelle, Hello there. I was glad to hear from you the other day. I would have sent this sooner, but I have not been feeling well lately. Hearing from you put a smile on my heart. I am glad that you and your ex are no longer together, and that is...

Domestic Violence: Am I being Abused or Setup ???, anger management classes, anger management
Domestic Violence: Am I being Abused or Setup ???, anger management classes, anger management, prob

Domestic Violence: Can Abusers Change?, signs, control freaks
Domestic Violence: Can Abusers Change?, signs, control freaks, violent husband

Domestic Violence: Accused of abuse--a trend against US men, traffic violation, criminal history
Domestic Violence: Accused of abuse--a trend against US men, traffic violation, criminal history, atf

Domestic Violence: Can an abuser change?, sick mind, many different ways
Domestic Violence: Can an abuser change?, sick mind, many different ways, psychological risk

Domestic Violence: abusive fathers, worthy individuals, asshole
Domestic Violence: abusive fathers, worthy individuals, asshole, nih

Domestic Violence: I Called ................Now Will I Pay??
Domestic Violence: I Called ................Now Will I Pay??

Domestic Violence: court, false assumption, broad shoulders
Domestic Violence: court, false assumption, broad shoulders, abusive relationship

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, domestic violence relationship, dangerous territory
Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, domestic violence relationship, dangerous territory, self care

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, man of my dreams, strong woman
Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence, man of my dreams, strong woman, black eyes

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence is just response, domestic violence, deadly force
Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence is just response, domestic violence, deadly force, perpetrator

Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence/Self Defense, repeated domestic violence, deadly force
Domestic Violence: Domestic Violence/Self Defense, repeated domestic violence, deadly force, lethal force

Domestic Violence: Emotionally Drained..., sake, marriage
Domestic Violence: Emotionally Drained..., sake, marriage, god

Domestic Violence: File a complaint against a mediator, mediation agreement, aviva
Domestic Violence: File a complaint against a mediator, mediation agreement, aviva, mediator

Domestic Violence: filing charges against my step sons step father, texas peace officer, family violence
Domestic Violence: filing charges against my step sons step father, texas peace officer, family violence, bodily injury

Domestic Violence: Group Curriculum, true empathy, jail program
Domestic Violence: Group Curriculum, true empathy, jail program, violent relationship

Domestic Violence: husband beated me and denied in front of police, relashionship, begining
Domestic Violence: husband beated me and denied in front of police, relashionship, begining, many things

Domestic Violence: Is my husband becoming abusive?, horrible problem, calling me names
Domestic Violence: Is my husband becoming abusive?, horrible problem, calling me names

Domestic Violence: MEAN HUSBAND, hard working man, boy and a girl
Domestic Violence: MEAN HUSBAND, hard working man, boy and a girl, single word

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, good luck
Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, good luck

Domestic Violence: Mental abuse or not?, old habits, baby girl
Domestic Violence: Mental abuse or not?, old habits, baby girl, die hard

Domestic Violence: Mother/daughter conflict, tendon injuries, adult daughter
Domestic Violence: Mother/daughter conflict, tendon injuries, adult daughter, life ruiner

Domestic Violence: Can this marriage be saved?, abusing drugs, drug abuse
Domestic Violence: Can this marriage be saved?, abusing drugs, drug abuse, nagging wife

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, adhd, google
Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, adhd, google, adult

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, loving partner, good relationship
Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, loving partner, good relationship, odd time

Domestic Violence: Please help!!!- Mother being abused, mild shock, sad conclusion
Domestic Violence: Please help!!!- Mother being abused, mild shock, sad conclusion, mom and dad

Domestic Violence: The Roles Have Changed, incidents
Domestic Violence: The Roles Have Changed, incidents

Domestic Violence: Speech Paper, domestic violence, perfect time
Domestic Violence: Speech Paper, domestic violence, perfect time, survivor

Domestic Violence: How to get away safely from a verbally mentally person, similiar situation, restraining order
Domestic Violence: How to get away safely from a verbally mentally person, similiar situation, restraining order

Domestic Violence: sibling abuse, brother, severe anxiety
Domestic Violence: sibling abuse, brother, severe anxiety, welfare agency

Domestic Violence: my spouse, burton watson, nichiren shoshu
Domestic Violence: my spouse, burton watson, nichiren shoshu, lotus sutra

Domestic Violence: How do we tell the abuser we're leaving?, painful divorce, rough childhood
Domestic Violence: How do we tell the abuser we're leaving?, painful divorce, rough childhood, subtle level

Domestic Violence: trying to date after an abusive marriage, lady lotus, thoughts and feelings
Domestic Violence: trying to date after an abusive marriage, lady lotus, thoughts and feelings, counselor

Domestic Violence: Verbal Abuse and Custody, domestic abusers, kate brown
Domestic Violence: Verbal Abuse and Custody, domestic abusers, kate brown, daycare

Domestic Violence: verbal abuse (not sure), abuse research, domestic violence
Domestic Violence: verbal abuse (not sure), abuse research, domestic violence, narcissism

Domestic Violence: femicide, relationship violence, pregnant females
relationship violence, pregnant females, extreme violence: Hello, Domestic violence is about power and control. Abusers feel powerless and the way to have more of that is through dominating someone else and taking their power away. Violence often accelerates during pregnancy because it is a time when things are...

Domestic Violence: filing charges against my step sons step father, texas penal code, lethal violence
texas penal code, lethal violence, custody fight: Hello, Unless you are talking about threats in conjunction with stalking, threats of non-lethal violence are not a criminal act. The step-father cannot be prosecuted for threatening violence, only committing violence. However, that does not mean that this...

Domestic Violence: the first step, restraing order, small apartment
restraing order, small apartment, abusive relationship: Why would you have to quit your job and school. They don t have rules there that say you have to stay 24-7. As a matter of fact, they can help make sure you get to work and school. You have to want to leave. Your options are to leave or stay. What is...

Domestic Violence: How can I forget all the abuses I 'd experienced?, abuse survivors, lucky women
abuse survivors, lucky women, sweet girls: Yaochaun Yin: Hello I thank you for your inquiry. I am terribly sorry for the emotional pain you are experiencing. I am also sorry that you still have to endure your husbands verbal abuse. The biggest step you took was to first get him out of your house....

Domestic Violence: My friend is in a abusive relationship, abusive relationship, abusive relationships
abusive relationship, abusive relationships, sametime: Hello Travis: I thank you for your inquiry. If your friend is being abused by her boyfriend and she has been with him for 5 years now during that time I am sure feelings have developed. However I can not say wheather or not she loves him. She s the only...

Domestic Violence: I Have My Girls!!!!, arabian proverb, nicole thomas
arabian proverb, nicole thomas, happy holidays: Michelle, Hi there!! Thank you so much for your heartfelt thanks to me on helping you with the situation that you were in. I am so elated for you. You really deserve all of the good things that I know will continue to happen for you. This is why...

Domestic Violence: Group Curriculum, domestic violence education, forensic psychiatrist
domestic violence education, forensic psychiatrist, education proposal: Dear Holly, Hello there, and thank you for taking the time out to contact me today. Well, first let me say how wonderful I think it is that you are doing what you do. I am currently still in school trying to complete my degree in Biology and I plan...

Domestic Violence: grandchildren, exhusband, verbal abuse
exhusband, verbal abuse, terrible things: Hello! Okay, I m going to try my best to help you here, because my father was the same with me, even though I was older, 11 or 12. First and foremost, good job about not saying anything about your daughters husband in front of your grandson, because this is...

Domestic Violence: Help!, small apartment, abusive relationship
small apartment, abusive relationship, homeless persons: Sarah, Hello Sarah, and thank you for choosing me to help you with your dilemma. And my, you do have a very serious situation that you need to get out of, IMMEDIATELY!!!!! You may feel that there is nothing that you can do, but there is. The first...

Domestic Violence: Hi, I'm writting from Perú...., govermment, sweet talks
govermment, sweet talks, domestic violence: Vanessa, your question straddles the line into legal issues because you are asking about the laws here. You may wish to consult an expert on the law, too. Although state laws differ from one another, I can tell you that in most places in the US, assault of...

Domestic Violence: Husband Beat Me and Then Denied it in Front of the Police, social reputation, abusive relationship
social reputation, abusive relationship, marraige: Bhakti, Hi, and thank you for contacting me to help you resolve your issues; and my, my, my, you do have serious issues. First and foremost, why the hell are you putting up with this? There is no law that says that you have to put up with abuse from...

Domestic Violence: Husband and cult abuse, heart valve replacements, ritual abuse survivors
heart valve replacements, ritual abuse survivors, cult abuse: Hello Nancy: I thank you for contacting me with your concern. I am terribly sorry for the pain you have endured as a child and adult. No one deserves to be abused in any manner. Ritual Abuse is very taboo when it comes to locating appropriate support....

Domestic Violence: How Do I Make My Husband Realize He Is Hurting Me?, stupid bitch, second marriage
stupid bitch, second marriage, stealing money: Dear Lisa, First let me say I do apologize for not getting back with you sooner than I should have. I have not been feeling too good, and I still am not, but my questioners are very important to me. So, please accept my sincere apology, and I do thank...

Domestic Violence: healing, speaking engagements, spoken person
speaking engagements, spoken person, soul searchin: Hi Liz, I ll tell you what I did because it worked for me. Read every book on domestic violence that you can but keep the focus on the victim, not the abuser. Who cares why they abuse but we need to know why we stayed. When I ve done speaking engagements...

Domestic Violence: help, anger issues, living in fear
anger issues, living in fear, families lives: Dear Emily, Please forgive me for taking so long to get back to you but I fly alot and did not get to your message till now. I read your letter, I read your letter and was very sad. I see you are in a hard situation probably because you want out...

Domestic Violence: help to help others, physical scars, abuse survivors
physical scars, abuse survivors, spiritual faith: Hello Carrissa: I thank you for your inquiry and I hope that this message finds you well and in good spirits this day. First off I want to commend you for your strength, courage,fortitude and compassion to help other victims of abuse. Yes you are correct...

Domestic Violence: help with violent ex, local police department, safe journey
local police department, safe journey, wasting my time: I m sorry, I can t answer you yet. I need to know what State you live in to find out what period of time you have to file charges. Let me know, or call your local police department, you don t have to give your name, and ask. Best wishes, and safe journey,...

Domestic Violence: help, food stamps, sex food
food stamps, sex food, money sex: Hi Carrie, What you are feeling is normal. All battered women go through it but don t think that his not physically abusing you is not domestic violence. Abusers need to control and their victims need to control the outcome...even for the abuser s life....

Domestic Violence: husband beated me and denied in front of police, social reputation, abusive relationship
social reputation, abusive relationship, marraige: Hi, If your husband has a lawyer, you should get one too. You should also call your local domestic violence advocate so that you can get advice about your local laws. They can tell you what help is available and help you get that Protective Order (it s...

Domestic Violence: husband beated me then denied in front of police, social reputation, abusive relationship
social reputation, abusive relationship, marraige: Dear BHAKTI, Before I wrote this I did pray and ask God to give me the ability to give you sound advice. I read your letter and was sad, this is not a way for people to live and it is not in Gods perfect will for our marriages to be like this at all. ...

Domestic Violence: Is my husband becoming abusive?, immediate family members, old grandmother
immediate family members, old grandmother, parenting class: Hello, Lee I m very glad you wrote. The behavior you have described is definitely abusive. Here are the main abusive traits you mentioned: He hit me on the back, grabbed the dog out of my arms and pushed me out of his way. He has always talked ugly to...

Domestic Violence: is husband crossing the line, mental health issue, mental health issues
mental health issue, mental health issues, history of mental illness: Dear Tammy, I m so sorry you re experiencing this. This is emotional and verbal abuse and is designed to bring you down. Would you treat a person you re supposed to love like this? I doubt it. Opening flirting with other women is inexcusable. Seems...

Domestic Violence: what can my husband expect in court after charged with abuse?, first time offenders, first timers
first time offenders, first timers, michigan laws: Hi, I am not sure about Michigan laws or procedures, but many states have a First Time Offenders rule that puts all first timers in anger management and orders them to be on good behavior for a set amount of time. If they complete both of those things...

Domestic Violence: husband filing for divorce /i was abused, doing laundry, perfect marriage
doing laundry, perfect marriage, heart break: Hi Brenda, Your heart breaks for the dream you had of a perfect marriage. We all want that but then, we choose someone who makes it impossible. It s a form of letting go, saying good bye and moving on. You have to feel it before you can heal. Battered...

Domestic Violence: My husband got a temp. order of protection and I want my husband to come home !!!, domestic violence advocate, emergency protective order
domestic violence advocate, emergency protective order, hostile contact: Hello, First you should read the protective order to see what is says. If it s an emergency protective order, it s only good for 72 hours. He will be home soon. You can have a temporary protective order and still live in the same house- IF that is how...

Domestic Violence: Immigration and DV, victims of domestic violence, immigration status
victims of domestic violence, immigration status, harrasement: Hello, Unfortunately I am not an expert on immigration law. I believe the answer varies from state to state. I know that some states have protection for VICTIMS of domestic violence who are here illegally. This exists to allow them to get help without fear...

Domestic Violence: Injunction, county clerks office, domestic violence charges
county clerks office, domestic violence charges, footstep: Mrs. Alissa I am so sorry that it has taken so long for me to get to you, and I hope someone else was able to answer the question for you. There are laws there to protect you period, I suggest you get whatever evidence you have and take it to the...

Domestic Violence: Any ideas?, mood swings, temp job
mood swings, temp job, irrational behavior: Dear Sherry, First off I want to apologize for taking so long, but I downloaded a trojan horse or rather a virus right before Thanks giving and my husband just fixed it yesterday. (Praise God)!!!!!! So I want you to know that i did not answer your...

Domestic Violence: Justified Abuse??, vitro fertilization, good communication skills
vitro fertilization, good communication skills, work bills: Melissa, Thank you dearly for your patience. In response to your question to me, I truly believe that you made the right decision to leave your husband. There comes a point in life where you have make your own decisions and believe in them. Do not...

Domestic Violence: juvenile delinquency, australian matriculation, juvenile delinquency
australian matriculation, juvenile delinquency, violent family: Dear Mr./Ms. Che Hasim, Thankyou for taking the time out to email me, I really appreciate it. I will answer your questions to the best of my ability and knowledege. 1. The main reson that a child from a violent family would become deviant is because he/she...

Domestic Violence: Keeping Faith with an Alcoholic, spinning my wheels, words of encouragement
spinning my wheels, words of encouragement, keeping faith: Alfredo, Hi, and thank you for choosing me to help you with your issues. After I read your question to me, I spent a while reflecting on how I was going to respond and I decided that I would respond the way that I always do with my questioners, which...

Domestic Violence: How Do You Know Whether to Leave?, intimacy issues, desisions
intimacy issues, desisions, financial decisions: Lana, Hello and thank you for contacting me with your concerns. You know whether or not to leave because the first time a man puts his hands on you, your ass should be out the door, no questions asked, no discussion, no nothing. There is nothing to...

Domestic Violence: Leaving Abusive Relationship, leaving abusive relationship, blessed day
leaving abusive relationship, blessed day, 11 years: Cynthia, Hi, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with you issues. You know, while I was reading your quesion to me, I thought so much of myself and what I went through when I was in so many abusive relationships years ago. Although...

Domestic Violence: Leaving an abusive spouse, domestic violence hotline, leaving an abusive relationship
domestic violence hotline, leaving an abusive relationship, national domestic violence hotline: Yes, you can say that you are still scared of him and in need of protection even though you went back to him. He will try to use this against you, but it may or may not work. Please call the national domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-SAFE (7233). They...

Domestic Violence: Life After Domestic Abuse, divorce proceedings, abusive marriage
divorce proceedings, abusive marriage, duluth mn: Arundhati, Hello again; I do apologize for my delay in responding back to you, I have not felt my best lately. However, I am glad to hear that things are looking up for you, although there is still a lot that needs to be mended. Just continue to be...

Domestic Violence: Loneliness, friends but friends, abusive marriage
friends but friends, abusive marriage, slap in the face: Your email made me so very, very sad and I want to start off by telling you how sorry I am. I find the timing of your children s email very interesting. Right after their father died. If it is like it usually goes, he played the victim to them like all...

Domestic Violence: law guardianship for my three children, law guardian, standard visitation
law guardian, standard visitation, agreement states: Hi Sue, sorry to bother you,but im a little worried about you and the kids and just want to know if everything is O.K. Letting you in a little secret. My second husband left me a year ago for my best friend,and they harrass me too.So i know excatly...

Domestic Violence: how to leave a vebal/mentally abusive relationship when there are kids involved, domestic violence advocate, abusive relationship
domestic violence advocate, abusive relationship, verbal abuse: I am sorry that you didn t like my response, but that is the best one. I cannot tell you what to do because I don t know what resources are available in your area. I don t know the local politics or how your shelters, police, or court system runs. All of those...

Domestic Violence: Should I leave?, marriage counceling, stay at home mom
marriage counceling, stay at home mom, abusive man: Ruth, your going to out smart him. If he refuses help because he thinks your the one with all the problems, then tell him maybe he is right. Tell him your the one who needs to get help so that the marraige will work. Ask him if you can go to marriage counceling...

Domestic Violence: leaving a bad relationship, dangerous time, kids ages
dangerous time, kids ages, doing the right thing: Dear Ani, Your doing the best possible thing.Your showing your kids that you are strong.I dont know the sex of the kids,but its a good thing your leaving.If you didnt,you would be showing a boy that this is how to treat his future girlfriends and wife.For...

Domestic Violence: leaving and a protective order, domestic violence advocate, abusive husbands
domestic violence advocate, abusive husbands, decision one: Hello, I don t know about large amounts of women. I know that women DO escape abuse. There are many ways to do this. It all depends on the situation. I would suggest talking to a domestic violence advocate on a hotline, shelter, or within the court system...

Domestic Violence: Marital Rape or Normal?, marital rape, intriguing issues
marital rape, intriguing issues, physical person: Dear J, Hello and thank you so much for contacting me to help you with your dilemmas and issues at the moment. Actually, you have posed one of the most intriguing issues to me since I have been here with AllExperts. First off, let me say this and...

Domestic Violence: MEAN HUSBAND, playing video games, wrong guys
playing video games, wrong guys, battered woman: Hi, You are a typical battered woman. Battering isn t simply about physical abuse. It s about emotional and financial abuse. Abusers control the money because if you have no money, you have fewer choices. You can t leave. When someone compels to do his...

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, heavy drinker, mental abuse
heavy drinker, mental abuse, verbal abuse: Dear Debbie, Hello, and thank you for choosing me to help you with your issues today. Debbie, I believe that you already know the answer and the solution to your question on the situation that you are currently dealing with. Let me say that you cannot...

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, court proceedings, mental abuse
court proceedings, mental abuse, emotional abuse: Jamie, Hello, hello, hello, hello again. I hope that you received my last E-mail stating that I would respond to you as soon as I can, so here I am. I am very glad that you contacted me, as Father s Day draws near, I think that a lot of people, women...

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, empty coffee cups, temper tantrums
empty coffee cups, temper tantrums, apple cores: Ann, I hope that everything works out for you. Always do what is best for you and your heart. I wish you well. Take care. All My Best, Chardonnay Nicole Thomas AllExperts.com I am always here to help. ...

Domestic Violence: Mental Abuse, work voice mail, doing laundry
work voice mail, doing laundry, relize: Hi, I hope I can be of some help. From the information you gave me I think your boyfriend may have some issues. I am not sure that he is trying to mentally abuse you. I think he sounds like he doesn t know how to deal with mature adult arguements. I mean...

Domestic Violence: Mental abuse or not?, nice neighborhood, neighborhood kids
nice neighborhood, neighborhood kids, time mom: Tina, The things your husband says to your son is abusive. Your husband was probably treated like he treats his son when he was a child. The idea is that men are suposed to be TUFF . But the way your husband is trying to get your son to be tuff is going...

Domestic Violence: Mother/daughter conflict, mother daughter conflict, ruin your life
mother daughter conflict, ruin your life, abusive relationship: Make her take on more responsibilities. Pay her own bills, etc. Yes, she knows that you won t kick her out so you are being emotionally blackmailed. If she understood that you would kick her out, she might start respecting you. The next time she calls...

Domestic Violence: I'm Currently Doing a School Project and I Have a Few Questions on Domestic Violence..., domestic violence survivor, national coalition against domestic violence
domestic violence survivor, national coalition against domestic violence, domestic violence education: Dear Anne, Hello there, and how are things going with your project. As promised, I am here on Saturday evening sending you some answers to the questions that you posed to me. I thank you again for taking the time to choose me to help you with this...

Domestic Violence: Can this marriage be saved?, traumatic stress disorder, isreali army
traumatic stress disorder, isreali army, post traumatic stress: Hi Elizabeth, I want to ask you an important question. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What hopes do you have for your future? Since domestic violence always escalates, as you have seen, in 10 years you could very well be dead if you stay with this...

Domestic Violence: mean hubby, playing video games, wrong guys
playing video games, wrong guys, real person: Hello Melissa: I thank you for your inquiry. You took the first BIG step in realizng that they way your husband treats you is wrong. YES your husband is being abusive towards you both emotionally, physically and economically. Unfortunately I am not...

Domestic Violence: mental abuse, head vet, feelings of depression
head vet, feelings of depression, ciggerettes: Hello, Your daughter is DEFINITELY being abused, but it is her choice to be in that situation. Until she feels that she deserves better, wants better, and feels there is a better alternative, she will likely remain in that relationship. The best advise...

Domestic Violence: My mother wants to kill her mother. What should I do?, mother and grandmother, arangement
mother and grandmother, arangement, joke: Hi there. I m wondering how old you are, as you didn t specify, and that may alter what I m about to say to you. Take this in anyway that may be helpful to you, make it age appropriate for yourself. With that said, here I go. First of all, this is not a...

Domestic Violence: My mother wants to kill her mother. What should I do?, poisonous atmosphere, professional intervention
poisonous atmosphere, professional intervention, personal drama: I don t know how old you are but you need to remove yourself from this poisonous atmosphere NOW. You MUST go to the police dept. (do NOT tell ANYONE, especially your mother or grandmother) and tell them what you have told me. You need to stay with friends...

Domestic Violence: Narcisstic??? HELP!, compulsive liar, kids birthdays
compulsive liar, kids birthdays, 4 leaves: Dear Debbie, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me in helping you with your issues at the moment. And boy, you do have issues!!! What the hell are you thinking? After everything that this man has done to you, you still have to ask...

Domestic Violence: Need Help on Protective Order, domestic violence advocate, false accusations
domestic violence advocate, false accusations, butcher knife: Hello, Sorry your question is a legal one, and I am not an attorney. To answer you would be practicing law without a license. You could try asking a clerk in the court that the complaint is filed in, but you will probably get the same answer. What I...

Domestic Violence: need help, nicole thomas, abusive situation
nicole thomas, abusive situation, victum: Sarah, Hello, and thankyou for taking the time to choose me to help you with your concerns. There are plenty of questions that you could ask your guest speaker. Some of the things that you may ask her could be problems specifically related to her...

Domestic Violence: What's next?, hospital rehab, strong personalities
hospital rehab, strong personalities, rehab center: Hi, Sorry that you find yourself in this position. It sounds like you are doing all the right things for the recovery of your marriage, dealing with the abuse, and also for him to work on the drinking. My experience with DV is in VA. The laws may be...

Domestic Violence: Overwhelmed, lin lin, anger management
lin lin, anger management, management meetings: Lin Lin, Hello and thank you for contacting me. I do not know what is going to happen to your husband, I am not a lawyer nor a judge; I hope that he gets what he deserves because violence of any kind is never the way to solve any type of problem. ...

Domestic Violence: options for housing for an abused mom/family, dianne schwartz, mom and dad
dianne schwartz, mom and dad, food stamps: Hi Karen, I m so sorry that your family members are going through this. Since a shelter isn t an option, you might simply call the local shelter and ask them for resources in your area or if they can suggest an agency you can call. Different states offer...

Domestic Violence: Parental Access, full custody, parental rights
full custody, parental rights, police report: Dear Sarah, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma. Well, because the two of you are parenting this child together, someday he will more than likely have the right to see his child. You two have recently...

Domestic Violence: Past Domestic Abuse & Walking Away, emotional blackmail, abusive partners
emotional blackmail, abusive partners, manic depression: Craig, Thank you again for your kind and inspirational words. You are just too charming, which is a very good quality in my book. I would love to keep in touch as well, the next time that you leave me an email message here, just leave me your email...

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, attitude problem, mood swing
attitude problem, mood swing, honest response: Jimmy, I m not sure what help I can be without knowing this girl in person... lots of the time, when someone comes up with traits for an individual they are expected to be understood, but each trait varies with each person. Thus, without knowing her I m...

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, attitude problem, mood swing
attitude problem, mood swing, honest response: Jimmy, Look carefully over your list. Almost every good thing you say about her is superficial. Most of the negative things have to do with her personality, which is what counts in the long run. Think very far ahead...Imagine you married her, and 30 years...

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, attitude problem, mood swing
attitude problem, mood swing, personality traits: Dear Jimmy, Thanks for writing me. I really appreciate it. Well, I read your question and your list. My honest opinion is that your girlfriend is someone who may benefit from some counseling or therapy. We all have different personality traits, some positive,...

Domestic Violence: Personal Opinion, attitude problem, mood swing
attitude problem, mood swing, honest response: Hi Jimmy: When I read your description of this young lady, I couldn t help but notice that most of the positive things you like about her are physical. What you need to do is sit down and compare the two lists, side by side. What is important to you...how...

Domestic Violence: Please Help!! ASAP, witness abuse, partner selection
witness abuse, partner selection, intimate relationship: 1. Female 2. 16 3. white 4. n/a 5. 2 6. n/a 7. in my 13th year 8. yes, male 9. yes 10. no 11. no 12. no 13. yes 14. no 15. yes 16. no 17. n/a 18 yes 19. yes 20. I m sure it has had some effect, I tend to see the same temper of previous abusers...

Domestic Violence: Please Help With A Project! ASAP!!, witness abuse, project asap
witness abuse, project asap, partner selection: 1. Female 2. 28 3. White 4. Yes, 1 5. 13 years 6. 6mons. on AFDC 7. High school 8. No, but it would be Male 9. Yes 10. No 11. Yes 12. No 13. No 14. Yes 15. No 16. Yes/No, he controled all of our money 17. It didn t he took all my money so...

Domestic Violence: Please help!!!- Mother being abused, sole heir, father heart
sole heir, father heart, child friends: Leah, you can t force someone to do what is best for them. Your mother is so deeply enmeshed with your dad that she no longer has a life and since this has been going on for years it doesn t look like it will change. I know it s horrible to watch but people...

Domestic Violence: Prevention of domestic abuse, abusive men, abusive partner
abusive men, abusive partner, abusive man: Hi Theresa, One of the most important things you can possibly do to prevent it happening again is exactly what you are doing; you are supporting her, acknowledging how she feels and showing her genuine care and concern. After the systematic emotional battering...

Domestic Violence: Protection for my child, domestic violence advocate, child abandonment
domestic violence advocate, child abandonment, martial problems: Hello, 1) How soon do I need to file or can I still file an order on what he did to my son? I am not familiar with MN law, but here in VA you have up to 30 days to file. They actually say it s longer, but if you wait longer then that, you may run...

Domestic Violence: Getting personal freedom and safety, middle eastern cultures, life decisions
middle eastern cultures, life decisions, safe life: Hello, You say that you are Indian. Are you living in India? If so, I am not aware of what the law is or what your legal or cultural options are. I understand that in some Asian and Middle Eastern cultures, what you are describing is basically seen...

Domestic Violence: plese help me, statuary rape, achole
statuary rape, achole, probabtion: Hi, You are not going to like my answer, but here it goes... First, I don t know what state you are writing from, but you re lucky that your boyfriend wasn t arrested for statuary rape or child molestation. I don t know if he fits the criteria for statuatory...

Domestic Violence: psychological abuse and custody, divorce proceedings, abusive marriage
divorce proceedings, abusive marriage, successful businessman: Hello, Rather than try to force *him* to have an evaluation, why not take your daughter for one? (Sounds like she could use the counseling anyway.) See if you can find someone in your area who specializes in testifying in court for cases such as this. A...

Domestic Violence: Reconciliation, multiple miscarriages, fear of failure
multiple miscarriages, fear of failure, congenital problem: Ashamed, Hello and thank you for choosing me to help you with you issues today. Well, there may be nothing that you can do, you physically abused your wife and she was smart in filing for that divorce. Yes, pushing and shoving constitute as physical...

Domestic Violence: Is My Relationship Abusive?, temper tantrums, sensitive kind
temper tantrums, sensitive kind, breaking things: Dear Susie, Hello, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma and your issues. Well, first off, you want to know if your relationship is abusive: sweetheart it really is, way past abusive. You are with someone who...

Domestic Violence: Request for an interview, domestic violence advocate, sense answers
domestic violence advocate, sense answers, personal questions: Hi, 1. Why do you focus more on these areas? (Choice, job mandated, because of the victims’ needs, etc.?) That was the scope of the job, but I feel that it s important for victims to have all that information and service. I think it s more comprehensive...

Domestic Violence: Restraining Order, pro bono lawyer, nicole thomas
pro bono lawyer, nicole thomas, order of protection: Marie, Hello and sorry for the delay. As far as your situation is concerned, you have to keep fighting. You did not mention a lawyer, so if you have not already obtained one, you need to do so. I know that you are fed up and frustrated, but do not...

Domestic Violence: RO questions, restraing order, voice mail
restraing order, voice mail, temporary injunction: Dee, this is really a legal question, not within my area of expertise. The answer will depend on what state you live in, because the law is different in different places. It occurs to me that you could simply turn off the ringer on your phone so you aren...

Domestic Violence: RO violation, restraing order, voice mail
restraing order, voice mail, temporary injunction: The answer to your question is going to be specific to your state, so I really don t know how to answer it. I am in Virginia, and here, the law says that a conviction for violation of a protective order means mandatory jail time. Now, realistically, mandatory...

Domestic Violence: The Roles Have Changed, baby sister, wedding night
baby sister, wedding night, peacemaker: Dear What Happened, Hello and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your issues, and yes you have some serious issues that need to be assessed immediately. First off, who gave you the right and who crowned you queen to think that...

Domestic Violence: when you really don't want to leave..., masters in christian counseling, domestic violence advocate
masters in christian counseling, domestic violence advocate, mom cause: Hello, I want you to know that my response is coming from a the perspective of a domestic violence advocate. After having worked with my victims, I have to say that it would be naive of you to think that your husband is just going to stop battering you...

Domestic Violence: relationship advice, flat mates, loving relationship
flat mates, loving relationship, gentle person: Dear Leah, I know you must be hurting and feeling very confused right now. I know many people who were raised in violent homes and have chosen to not have children for the same reason as your partner so his fear is very real. But, I also feel something...

Domestic Violence: My relationship, daycare, sister and brother
daycare, sister and brother, calling me names: Dear Giselle, Hi Giselle (beautiful name, by the way), thankyou for choosing me to help you with your concerns. Well, I am ususally a straightforward person, I try to be as honest as possible, some people like it, some don t. The ones that don t, well...

Domestic Violence: resources for lesbians, domestic violence organizations, same sex relationships
domestic violence organizations, same sex relationships, alcoholic spouse: Codependent possibly - a good friend definitely! Most, if not all, domestic violence organizations are trained equally well in dealing with same sex relationships. The first step your friend must take is to call one of the hotlines and get a referral to...

Domestic Violence: routine, empty promises, drastic changes
empty promises, drastic changes, ferrets: Dear Laura, As always, I prayed and asked the Lord for the right words in advance. Sometimes it takes drastic messures to get drastic changes. You can never force anyone to do anything they do not want to do. So if you keep asking and he...

Domestic Violence: Self Defense, victims of domestic violence, extreme anger
victims of domestic violence, extreme anger, repeated domestic violence: Dear Jon, Hi Jon, and thank you for choosing me to help you with your issues today. Well, you posed a really important question that many people fail to ask and be educated on. When it comes to domestic violence or any other form of physical abuse,...

Domestic Violence: Self-Defense, sheriffs academy, repeated domestic violence
sheriffs academy, repeated domestic violence, deadly force: Thanks for writing, I remember when I was in that situation, I would personally hope that people would leave the situation but a lot of people dont, I know that you can defend yourself period, I just was not sure with the use of deadly force but I remember...

Domestic Violence: Speech Paper, patience and faith, heart an soul
patience and faith, heart an soul, god and time: Summer, Hello again to you and I do apologize once again for not getting back with you in a more timely fashion. I am not feeling my best right now, but I am so glad that you contacted me to give me some insight on what you are currently going through....

Domestic Violence: Spousal abuse, personal protection order, county court house
personal protection order, county court house, getting a divorce: I found this site for you: http://www.divorcesupport.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/54903/page/0/fpart/1/vc/1 You need to find a good atty and fight this. You DO NOT want a domestic violence charge against you as it will follow you for the...

Domestic Violence: Spouse who abuses alcohol, empty cans, alanon meetings
empty cans, alanon meetings, probabtion: Hi Jennifer, I know you are confused, hurt and angry right now. I m sure the question...if he loves us, why doesn t he just stop drinking...has entered your mind more than once. Drinking starts out as a basic hobby or social interaction. Then, it becomes...

Domestic Violence: Stay or Leave, sole mates, red flags
sole mates, red flags, loud music: Gina, Hello and thank you for choosing me to help you with your issues at the moment. It sounds to me like you know in your heart what to do but you need a little push in order to get there. If things are this way now, how do you think things will...

Domestic Violence: Stay or Leave?, heart to heart talk, jealous person
heart to heart talk, jealous person, stepkids: Dear Darla, Hi, and thank you for contacting me today to help you with your dilemma. Well Darla, your story and your question really touched me for some reason. Your question for me was whether or not you should stay in the house or not to. In my...

Domestic Violence: Should I Stay?, egg shells, new year eve
egg shells, new year eve, christmas night: Dear Jane, Hi, and thank you for taking the time to choose me to help you with your dilemma at the moment. Should you stay? HELL NO, YOU SHOULDN T STAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I said, HELL NO, YOU SHOULDN T STAY!!!!!!!!! Jane, you must first realize...

Domestic Violence: Steps to solution, purdue university north, purdue university north central
purdue university north, purdue university north central, wealthy friends: Dear Brittany, Absolutely, well for me it was different. I was not married to this guy but I thought that I was really in love with him and I thought that if I changed then maybe he would love me the way he use to. It was not the case so really I think...

Domestic Violence: Steps for solutions., purdue university north, purdue university north central
purdue university north, purdue university north central, brittany brittany: Brittany, I know that you were expecting me to be finished gathering my information to help you with your research, but I got sidetracked with time a little bit. However, I am done gathering the info. that will help you. I talked about my personal...

Domestic Violence: Still Emotional, mixed signals, fire arm
mixed signals, fire arm, protective order: Kristi, Hello again and thank you for being so patient with me. In response to your question, you have to decide whether you are going to live without him or not. You cannot play games with people. You stated that you had him evicted but yet still...

Domestic Violence: Student, national coalition against domestic violence, punjab pakistan
national coalition against domestic violence, punjab pakistan, research thesis: Dear Aleem, Hello again, I hope that things are well for you. As I promised a few days ago, I do have information that may help you with your research, and it is quite simple by the way. In order to be a productive and successful student, you must...

Domestic Violence: How to get away safely from a verbally mentally person, one of the boys, model prisoner
one of the boys, model prisoner, safe houses: That s a very hard position to be in, because the only person who can ultimately make this decision is her. I don t know where you all live, but I can gaurentee that there are shelters and safe-houses where she can go with the kids, and it would be impossible...

Domestic Violence: self defense, repeated domestic violence, retaliation
repeated domestic violence, retaliation, self defense: In certain circumstances retaliation may save a victims life. On the other hand retaliation may cause the abuser to become more violent jeopardizing the victims life. In most cases the victim should proceed with caution and seek outside intervention to remove...

Domestic Violence: self defense, exact revenge, repeated domestic violence
exact revenge, repeated domestic violence, battered woman: Hi, That depends on what you mean by retaliate. If you are planning to hurt someone, that s premeditated violence. If you hurt someone while they are hurting you, that s self-defense. Some states do not recognize the battered woman s syndrome (assuming...