About Experts Sitemap - Group 33 - Page 32 2015-05-26

Lesbian Life: no emotion, painful situations, thoughts and feelings
painful situations, thoughts and feelings, private settings: Wow, this one really hits home. I am your girlfriend, there are many women out there that feels this way. First off, by her family not being affection with her, she has issues with feelings of rejection. So naturally there is a wall between her and anyone...

Lesbian Life: no emotion, painful situations, thoughts and feelings
painful situations, thoughts and feelings, private settings: Dear Maggie, To be honest, there are so many possibilities for your girlfriends behavior. Her lack of emotion toward you could be, as she herself said, her personality and upbringing. As sad as this is, there s really nothing you can do about it. It is...

Lesbian Life: how to get my ex back!, family commitments, new lover
family commitments, new lover, mixed messages: Dear Liz, Honestly, the only way to get your ex back is to get this woman out of her life, which you cannot do. It seems like your not a priority to her, and only gives you attention when the other woman is out of her life. I don t think she is worth your...

Lesbian Life: ex lover, new friendship, exact ingredients
new friendship, exact ingredients, romantic relationships: Dear exL, In the community that surrounds me, I see ex-couples who are perfectly content now being friends. I find that it depends on the individuals and on what the original relationship was based upon and also (for some people) on the healing time between...

Lesbian Life: Fell in love with my best friend, who's apparently straight., classic cues, heartless bastards
classic cues, heartless bastards, gays and lesbians: Hey Jenny, religion is a barrier alright. But where there is love, there is hope. Talk to her about the feelings you all share. Ask her about living together and get that feedback. I hear alot of classic cues that she has feelings for you too but is letting...

Lesbian Life: Fell in love with my best friend, who's apparently straight., friend whos, couple time
Lesbian Life: Fell in love with my best friend, who's apparently straight., friend whos, couple time, straight girl

Lesbian Life: fantasies, realistic portrayal, guy porn
realistic portrayal, guy porn, gorgeous men: Personally I never fantasize about any men and i am a lesbian. I am solely attracted to women but I don t find lesbian porn exciting either. I enjoy movies about lesbians which seem to portray them correctly instead of as in the porn shows I have watched the...

Lesbian Life: this girl..., convo, bombshell
convo, bombshell, lips: Toni, I think you need to talk to this amazing girl, let her know what you want out of what feelings you have for her. I know she is in somewhat of a relationship with this other person but I believe she needs to hear that you care. It sounds like to me that...

Lesbian Life: Heartbroken, open communication lines, little ones
open communication lines, little ones, sacrifices: Let me see this is a hard one. I have kids with a partner so I know where you are coming from, that bond is so strong after the little ones come along. I would say talk to her and let her know you still feel the same and want to work on your relationship even...

Lesbian Life: Im Confused, self knowledge, sports team
self knowledge, sports team, self awareness: Dear ImConfused, I really think it s wonderful that at 15, you already have such clarity about your sexuality. The sense I m getting about the girl you like, is that perhaps she, is not as clear about her sexuality as you are about yours. It would...

Lesbian Life: Lesbians in trouble!!!, lesbian relationships, relationship issues
lesbian relationships, relationship issues, serious relationship: Hey Cassandras, communication is huge especially in lesbian relationships. I would try and sit down with your girlfriend everyday and start opening those lines again. As it processes start talking about the serious relationship issues you two are having. Love...

Lesbian Life: my lesbian partner of 4 years is still married, addiction problems, lesbian partner
addiction problems, lesbian partner, familly: Xtina, my suggest would be to talk to your partner about how you are feeling about the husband, the kids, and the addiction problems to alcohol you both seem to have. I know its hard to talk about feelings sometimes but you do not want them to stay in the...

Lesbian Life: no love, rocky time, seven months
rocky time, seven months, text messages: Dear Nicole, I think you are both extremely hurt, and out of love. It sounds like you have been hurt so many times by this woman, it s completely ridiculous. You ve been hurt so much, you ve subconsciously trained yourself to not feel any loving emotion...

Lesbian Life: i love her! what do i do?, wonderful person, second chance
wonderful person, second chance, anniversaries: Dear What to Do, Of all the studies on the subject of rejection, I recall one in particular about our most common reactions to it. In general, nobody reacts well to rejection. This is to be expected, that you will be hurting and that you will require time...

Lesbian Life: i'm so scared, sexualality, penis girls
sexualality, penis girls, wet girls: Dear Zara, I am deeply sorry for not responding to you sooner. My internet has been down for the past week. It sounds like you are sexually attracted to other girls, but what officially makes you a lesbian is if you could see yourself actually having a...

Lesbian Life: Older woman, emotional relationships, lesbian relationships
emotional relationships, lesbian relationships, prositute: Dear Kia, First you must decide if you want more with this woman, or just sex. It is clear that this lady just wants you for her own pleasure, and you obviously do not come first on her list of emotional relationships. If you feel that you are getting hurt...

Lesbian Life: My parents and ex girlfriend, sophomore year, none of my friends
sophomore year, none of my friends, 9 months: Wow, touchy subject. I had to think alot on this one. First and foremost remember yourself in this picture. I hear you talking about what everyone else wants but nothing about you. I think you need to sit down and think about if you want this ex back into...

Lesbian Life: planet hell-- please knock, juvenile arthritis, shit luck
juvenile arthritis, shit luck, networking groups: Hi, I am sorry that you are experiencing these changes at a young age. Hopefully the new year will bring better days. Im am sorry that you lost your girlfriend in a car accident and I can only imagine the pain. All you can do is slowly move on. Obviously...

Lesbian Life: sad and confused.., attractive girl, lesbian experience
attractive girl, lesbian experience, tie down: Hey Claire, coming out is a very hard thing to do at any age but at the same time its awesome. You finally get to be the person you want to be without holding back. I think you need to do some real soul searching and ask yourself is this the right time and...

Lesbian Life: Taxes, domestic partnership, karla
domestic partnership, karla, tax preparation: I am not a expert on taxes but I do not think you can claim anyone who is not a relative of yours as a dependent. I know that sucks but as of right now the government does not give us the same rights as others. Hopefully one day soon we all will be able to...

Lesbian Life: Woman are confusing, little white lie, wet t shirt
little white lie, wet t shirt, physical relationship: Dear Confusing, I like your last question, it s funny. Sometimes I wish I were psychic and could foresee the future, but alas I am just a mere advise columnist who must depend on the wisdom of deductive reasoning and statistical evidence. Although,...

Lesbian Life: Wondering If I am Lesbian, weird mom, knowledgeable sources
weird mom, knowledgeable sources, gay children: Dear Linda, I think the best thing for you would be to openly discuss ALL of your feelings with your daughter. Even though it may be awkward at first, it is the best thing for you to do in order to establish and discover the meanings behind your feelings....

Lesbian Life: too many white lies, million tears, million times
million tears, million times, lena: Dear TooMany, Have you ever had anyone pursue you by whom you did not want to be pursued? Left to her own devices, she may have come back to you, at least as a friend. But there is nothing that can kill any possibility of ever being in a person s life...

Lesbian Life: her, shy person, girl friend
shy person, girl friend, best of luck: Dear Tashia, All I can say is in order for her to even consider being your girlfriend you have to talk to her! Try and find a common interest and talk about that, just get to know her. By doing this, you ll eventually find out if she s gay or not. I hate...

Lesbian Life: What am I?, sexual dreams, open marriage
sexual dreams, open marriage, sexual encounter: Dear Amanda, Of course you can be bisexual or a lesbian without having any type of sexual experience. It all just depends on who you re attracted to. If you are attracted to women then most likely that means you could be bisexual or gay. Sexual experience...

Lesbian Life: Approaching Taken Lesbian, girl at school, good relationship
girl at school, good relationship, gf: hi mariela, thanks for coming to me.. well firstly, we can t help who we fall inlove with..can we?.. it all depends so therefore who your eyes lay on it might be difficult to remove it but it s all about growing and how to overcome those feelings and...

Lesbian Life: Asexual with homoromantic feelings, girl x, x girl
girl x, x girl, college friends: hello anonymous, well, for what i can say here, you too do have generally some things in common but to keep it short and simple you can t really judge if she s not into you if you have not heard it exactly from her yet. i do not mean to jump into conclusions...

Lesbian Life: Is she bicurious? Does she feel the same?, sexual fantasies, facebook
sexual fantasies, facebook, experince: Hi, I admit this is a very difficult situation to handle for you.... All that I would ask you is if you are really serious about her and intend to take it long with her for true..if yes then you will have to be really patient and persistent... Hope you...

Lesbian Life: Confused!, gorgeous hair, first move
gorgeous hair, first move, great friends: dear Lynn Stewart, apologies for my late response, well, as far as i can tell you, it s not for me to tell you when you should make you move. a lot of people ask that same question, it is frustrating YES!! but sometimes the other person give us signs...

Lesbian Life: Doesn't Understand, hurt and pain, good stuff
hurt and pain, good stuff, habit: Hello, I know exactly what you re saying. when exes do that its because they just want to know whats going on in your life and if you re seeing someone new. And yes to also torture. the fact that she knows that you still love her and by her keep calling you...

Lesbian Life: I dont know what to do, world matters, sticky situation
world matters, sticky situation, missing pieces: Hello,well this is a sticky situation because it s in the workplace and you being her boss can be tough. Because if things dont work out then you still have to face her daily on the job and it can create drama and confusion. They always say never deal with...

Lesbian Life: how can i get my ex back?, bad shape, soulmate
bad shape, soulmate, soulmates: Hi, Pls don t even try doing anything to get her back because she would again leave and everytime this happens it s you who would be in the complete bad shape - physically & mentally.. Please understand if your partner is thinking in the same way as...

Lesbian Life: Family and Friend..., kiss on the forehead, head over heels
kiss on the forehead, head over heels, close friends: greetings to you Stephanie, I m very thankful for you coming to me, well, well, i understand what you are saying here; that you want to maintain the constant relationship with that extraordinary friend of yours and that with informing her about your...

Lesbian Life: Love with best friend/boss, emotional relationship, traumatic situations
emotional relationship, traumatic situations, having children: hi Alice, thanks for coming to me. apologies for my oh so late reply. you are defiantly crazy about this woman, but you are not asking yourself the opposite question. is she crazy about me too? that is the question you should be indulging yourself...

Lesbian Life: I'll try my best, teacher student relationship, affection
teacher student relationship, affection, eva: thanks for coming again Eva, yes this might be hard, but don t forget that this situation can affect you a lot. and we don t want that...do we? so take it slow even if this is a teacher..we are all humans at the end of the day.. and keep me updated.....

Lesbian Life: Morally confused about my sexuality... Need advice, nice boobs, football players
nice boobs, football players, paramedic: Hello, well even though you re married, but you have to do what makes you happy. Because if you dont then you ll end up miserable. just like myself i was also married, got out of it because deep down i knew who i was and thats being a lesbian. and now iam...

Lesbian Life: I'm in love with my married best friend, rocky relationship, possessiveness
rocky relationship, possessiveness, beautiful boy: hey Sahara, it s nice to hear from you, so here is what i get with your dilemma, the general thing is that you are in love with your best friend who is married and has a son. The two of you all has hit it off when she and her husband broke up... but...

Lesbian Life: morally confused... Dont know who to turn to for advice, nice boobs, football players
nice boobs, football players, paramedic: Hi Jenn, Apologies for my late response, You are defiantly not doing something wrong, There is no place or section in the bible which states that homosexuality is wrong, people misinterpret the bible anyway they want to and say the wrong thing. Do not...

Lesbian Life: unsure, little mistake, relation ship
little mistake, relation ship, college experience: hi there, the first thing i can advise you to do is that, you should take things slow, but not as slow as just coming out of a friendship**even if you all are**. even if you all know each other a lot via friendship, but you all need to fully understand...

Lesbian Life: WIMAN DATING WOMAN, soul mates, soulmates
soul mates, soulmates, lesbians: hello, Wendy, yes lesbians do fight and have many arguments... it s women so do expect that. unless the two of you all are mature enough and learn to work out problems the right way. yes soul mates also do this. if a relationship is always stable, unfortunately...

Lesbian Life: No sure..., 40 year old women, afraid of commitment
40 year old women, afraid of commitment, word of honor: Dear Not Sure, To get at the core of the problem, I will change the question from: Why can t I stop falling for married women? to Why can t I stop falling for unavailable people? Arriving at an answer for this question, may take a lot of work. If...

Lesbian Life: CONFUSED, group of women, fetish
group of women, fetish, fantasy: Hello, well what i see is that you have a wild fantasy and you just want to fulfill it, but not be in a relationship with a woman. WEll you re young so go ahead and explore. have fun with it, and if you realize its not for you at least you can say hey its...

Lesbian Life: Why doesn't my girlfriend treat me as well as her ex-girlfriends, romantic relationships, family of origin
romantic relationships, family of origin, previous question: Dear Reader, Your Question: Should I walk away from the relationship or overlook this as a minor thing and try to be at peace with it? She short version of my answer is: Walk away right now. That is the only way that you can be, at peace with...

Lesbian Life: Does She Feel It Too?, foreign territory, wishful thinking
foreign territory, wishful thinking, eye contact: Hello, well start off with a simple smile when she looks your way, then you can say hi how are you today?thats just a friendly gesture. Once you get that out the way, you can simply say oh theres a good movie out coming this weekend do you want to check it...

Lesbian Life: Is This More Than Friendship?, gorgeous hair, great friends
gorgeous hair, great friends, eye contact: hi there again, apologies for my late response. i know this is not an excuse to my reply to you. i know that this is something which is mandatory but there was quite an incident which i had to urgently attend to which kind of made me delay a little...

Lesbian Life: hi i am really worried, sexual preferences, good friend
sexual preferences, good friend, conversations: Hi, I purely understand your feelings and love for her but the best thing to do would be to talk your heart out to her. It takes really a lot to change someone s sexual preferences and all the more the girl has admitted herself that she does not need a...

Lesbian Life: Love, desperate need, whole time
desperate need, whole time, little girl: Hello, the best thing to do since you re still in love with her is to give her 50 feet, meaning to leave her alone. because it hurts you more to see and talk to her. so as time goes on and you dont pick up on her phone calls, and dont see her the stronger...

Lesbian Life: lesbian relationship/abuse/dysfunctional/normal, fall semester classes, long distance relationship
fall semester classes, long distance relationship, relationship abuse: Hi Marie, thanks for coming to me, First of all, let me make things clear THIS IS NOT THE WAY A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP IS..AND FURTHER MORE THIS IS NOT LOVE. i try to be as real with my questionnaires as usual AND darling you deserve better. how can...

Lesbian Life: Moving out to Oregon from Colorado with girlfriend, freshmen year, gender relationships
freshmen year, gender relationships, clear signal: Hi, I believe this is the best chance to actually know if you are good enough for each other. Most of the time what happens in these kind of relationships is that everything would seem to be good and absolutely fine when meeting daily and going back to...

Lesbian Life: married and confused, intimate relationship, playing with fire
intimate relationship, playing with fire, married with children: Hello, well first off its not really a good idea to have intimate relationship with your boss. because this can affect your job and since you ve been there for 10yrs you dont want to lose your job in case one day she may be nasty to you and go behind your...

Lesbian Life: religious homophobic family and isolation, nasty messages, gay websites
nasty messages, gay websites, gay women: Hello, I know its really hard coming out to your family. Especially when the family is homophobic. Which I can totally relate and understand where you re coming from. I wouldnt worry about it now until you re in a serious relationship with a loving women....

Lesbian Life: Co-worker flirting, innocent questions, sex jokes
innocent questions, sex jokes, behavior changes: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response. As much as I can understand, I think she has no developed any such feelings still as you have.. Most of the times what happens is these kind of situations is that one falls in love and the other might not be necessarily...

Lesbian Life: Confused!, scary prospect, drunken night
scary prospect, drunken night, inhibitions: Dear Reader, You did the right thing! You needed to work-through-it by talking about it and you did. You did so, intelligently, by choosing someone you trust. And you told her, in a cautious/considerate manner, by not naming names and changing the timeline....

Lesbian Life: So confused, female sexuality, sexual attraction
female sexuality, sexual attraction, girl friends: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response.. It is good to explain in detail as it would be easier for me to know where you stand and what is bothering you, so no worries about the long mail.. As much as I can understand you have a strong attraction or say sexual...

Lesbian Life: I don't think my girlfriend fancies me anymore, lesbian relationship, good relationship
lesbian relationship, good relationship, lots of sex: Dear Reader, If I had to guess exactly what is happening here and was only allowed one right answer, I would say your girlfriend is someone who loves the chase. Once the prey (you, in this case or her ex, in another) has been caught, no need to make...

Lesbian Life: Does She Feel It Too?, friend zone, mixed signals
friend zone, mixed signals, baby steps: Hi, Sorry for not being clear enough! What I am trying to say here with those lines are ---- As I had mentioned earlier, start keeping little away form her in coversations, touch and other litle things when you meet. If she is missing your intimacy means...

Lesbian Life: not sure about how she feels, straight girl, facebook
straight girl, facebook, paying attention: Dear Reader, Awkwardness at work is one thing, but suppose a relationship develops -- one scenario to consider, would be, if it ends badly and you still have to face her every day. Or worse, what if it ends up affecting your job security, like if, the...

Lesbian Life: my first lesbian love, lesbian support groups, lesbian lifestyle
lesbian support groups, lesbian lifestyle, better person: Dear Reader, Greater exposure to the lesbian lifestyle. That is my recommendation, for you. As for her, she is not asking for advise, so we won t offer any. If she is ready to accept her feelings and to accept herself for who she is, then she will be that....

Lesbian Life: Just friends?, intense feelings, couples therapy
intense feelings, couples therapy, emotional affair: Dear Reader, It would be a mistake to assume that a brief, initial attraction like this to another person, would automatically make them a compatible partner for you. My answer is two-fold. One, remove yourself from the company of this other woman...

Lesbian Life: So I guess the secrets out...., bad kisser, family closeness
bad kisser, family closeness, straight girls: Dear Reader, The Secret is Out! Liberating huh? I view your dilemma as having a side A and side B and each side is at odds with the other. Side A: She makes you happy, you have found the love of your life and the list goes on. Side B: You cannot...

Lesbian Life: I hope you can help., hard to breath, outgoing person
hard to breath, outgoing person, little sister: Hi, You don t have to feel bitter or defeated because you are seeking advise to someone whom you don t even know....Long mail is good because I get to know your problem well.. so chill. I totally understand your feelings for her. I can confirm that you...

Lesbian Life: I am so in love and confused, intimate relationship, wonderful woman
intimate relationship, wonderful woman, eye contact: Dear Reader, I just read an article in the current issue of Psychology Today, which claims: Anytime there are two men or two women in the same room, there is sexual tension. That idea was previously foreign to me. But it does seem logical, given that...

Lesbian Life: please help me, hard drugs, watching tv
hard drugs, watching tv, landlord: Dear Reader, All families have secrets that are exclusively reserved for the priviledged few. Some families are airtight about their secrets. No matter how long you have been with her, you do not seem to be among those priviledged few. We tend to...

Lesbian Life: Who is she really attracted to?, physics course, human sexuality
physics course, human sexuality, delayed response: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response! Trust me this is really confusing... Well as she is dating someone in LA and that happens to be a HE.. Has she ever told about any of her girlfriends or experiences on that line.. If not then I feel she is not hitting...

Lesbian Life: Bad and very sudden breakup, emotional and mental abuse, violent woman
emotional and mental abuse, violent woman, abusive relationship: Dear Heartbroken, There is such a thing as a bad ‘first date’ or even a bad ‘second date’ But once we figure out we like the person enough to see them again, the first two months of a relationship are usually bliss, because that is when we find ourselves...

Lesbian Life: Confused and searching for the right way., lgbtq community, sex attractions
lgbtq community, sex attractions, physical attraction: Stephanie, thank you for your question. I really feel for you because I was in the same situation for years. If you have no physical attraction to the guy you are with, you should not betray yourself by having sex with him. Ending your relationship with him...

Lesbian Life: Confusing signs, confusing signs, dinner date
confusing signs, dinner date, gay club: I believe you need to step back from the situation and ask yourself how you can help a friend. If she dors want to help herself there s not too much you can do. Like you said she needs to grow up and realize she s worth being treated better. You can not help...

Lesbian Life: confused, labels, lesbian
labels, lesbian, bisexual: Thanks for your question, a lot of people get confused when they try to label themselves. My advice is don t worry about it. You can feel attraction to different genders in different situations and on different levels (ie sexual, emotional, etc). I know a...

Lesbian Life: Why do I feel this way?, being friends, doing the right thing
being friends, doing the right thing, do the right thing: Lorraine, this is a hard one but I d step back and remember the reasons you decided to call it off. There has to be reasons for the break up and realize she has moved on, so you need to as well. Being friends right now seems a little hard on you so I d distance...

Lesbian Life: Was she flirting with me?, girl crush, angelina jolie
girl crush, angelina jolie, straight girl: Your question was how can you tell if a girl is flirting or just being nice. The only real way to know is to ask her, which you should do if it is that important for you to know. Otherwise, I would ask you, why is it important to know? If you think someone...

Lesbian Life: frustrated with my dad, freak of nature, dyke
freak of nature, dyke, six hours: Ivy, First I will address the issue that you are hurting yourself. That alone is not good for you at all. It is obvious there is more that just being gay and coming out that is causing distress in your life, but that is not for me to get into here so for...

Lesbian Life: My girlfriend broke up with me even though she still loves me, space and time, best friends
space and time, best friends, girlfriend: Hi Hailey, A hard lesson to learn in life is that just because two people love each other doesn t mean they should be together. There are so many other factors to consider and sometimes those factors make being together harder than it needs to be. I...

Lesbian Life: help, pearls of wisdom, wonderful girl
pearls of wisdom, wonderful girl, back in my life: Dear Help, There is only one way to get a person back in your life and that is, for her to actually want to be in your life and for her to take the steps to make it happen. Letting go of your first relationship is always the hardest. Be gentle with yourself....

Lesbian Life: Am I a Lesbian?, questioning sexuality, lesbian
questioning sexuality, lesbian, sexual fluidity: The most important thing to realize here is that you don t need to know if you are a lesbian . You can have same sex or other sex attractions without labeling yourself. I grew up dating boys and was even married to a man, but I was attracted to women and...

Lesbian Life: Looking for Mate, colorado springs co, match maker
colorado springs co, match maker, 20s 30s: Hey Connie, this is a huge and expensive step. I d try every other avenue before paying someone to find love for you. I know you remember many times love is usually hiding right in front of you. I d be cautious to pay indidviduals without some sort of proven...

Lesbian Life: In love with my friend, questioning, lesbian mothers
questioning, lesbian mothers, bisexual: Thanks for your question, it sounds like you have a lot going on emotionally. I would like to point out a couple of things and then suggest that you find an LGBTQ friendly counselor or support group to talk further. The first thing is that sexuality, particularly...

Lesbian Life: i need help, freak out, bf
freak out, bf, best friend: Hi Leah, it sounds like you too need to have a serious talk. Put it all out on the table for her. Let her know what you expect and don t expect from her. She may have a kind of freak out period but I don t think you ll lose your BF out of this. She may just...

Lesbian Life: How to proceed?, physical relationship, curious guy
physical relationship, curious guy, rough and tumble: Hello Becky, I have no experience being bisexual but I can say I came out as a lesbain close to your age. You seem to have a good grasp on your sexuality and I think if you find this friend X has a attraction, pursue it. She will at worst continue to be...

Lesbian Life: straight girl problem, girl problem, straight girl
girl problem, straight girl, terese: Hey K, 1st of all, what makes you think she s in love with you? And what moves is she making? It sounds like you two need to stop playing around and start being real with each other. If you want to take it to the next level, you need to make it clear...

Lesbian Life: Unsure how to read date, girl of her dreams, romantic possibilities
girl of her dreams, romantic possibilities, everyday all day: Dear Unsure, You seem like a perfectly reasonable person. You are allowing things to blossom naturally, assuming there is any blossoming to be expected. It is always good to take your time, even when it seems like a sure thing. You seem to know this. ...

Lesbian Life: just some understanding, long term relationships, full custody
long term relationships, full custody, intimate relationship: Hi J, Clearly this is a frustrating situation for you and I totally understand why. But something you wrote stuck out to me: I am just so lost on how a person can throw everything that was good away because they rethought the gender part. That s the...

Lesbian Life: what should i do ?, lesbian, communication
lesbian, communication, first move: Nadya, Thanks for your question. My simple answer is that you need to ask her that. Any intimate relationship requires open communication. If she is asking for more time, talk to her about her concerns and fears. You also should share your needs and wants....

Lesbian Life: Is it over?, adult daughter, vague answers
adult daughter, vague answers, heated discussion: Dear Is It, When a significant other, has behaved in a certain way for a long time and then abruptly changes, it is easier to notice that something is awry. But if we’ve never been validated, are constantly discounted and not heard, we tend to see this...

Lesbian Life: 5 year relationship, personal independence, life matters
personal independence, life matters, whittling: Dear Reader, Part of how an abuser works his/her craft, is by whittling away at the victim s self-worth and sense of personal independence. There comes a point when a victim truly believes there is no other way to survive, except to remain with the abuser....

Lesbian Life: Advice?, intense feelings, closest friend
intense feelings, closest friend, half year: Toni, Not sure what you are really wanting to know other than accepting your friend. You need to establish boundaries with her since you are her friend and not expect anything more than that. How can you say you don t like the gay scene if you have never...

Lesbian Life: Coming out, good relationship, personal life
good relationship, personal life, mom: Debbie, My advice to you is to tell your mom first. Since you two have become so close she may already know. It may take them time to adjust to knowing this (if they don t already) but your parents will still love you. When you do come out to her make sure...

Lesbian Life: Coming Out, dianne rivers, self mutilation
dianne rivers, self mutilation, teen suicide: Dana, You are so very welcome. I hope everything works out for your neice and her mother. It is difficult enough being a teenager let alone one who has just come out to their family and being confused about it at the same time. I hope everything continues...

Lesbian Life: Confess or Not to Confess?, litmus test, friendship work
litmus test, friendship work, steadfastness: Dear Confess, You and your friend seem close. Telling her the truth about how you feel will be the real litmus test of the steadfastness of your relationship. Being rejected by her #should that turn out to be the case#, may seem devastating at first,...

Lesbian Life: Confused, conservative city, judgements
conservative city, judgements, dating sites: Hello Cole, wow let s see what we need to do here. I d totally check out some lesbian dating sites to get your feet wet. That way you will know who you are talking to and at least make friends if not girlfriends. You never know, you may meet the women of...

Lesbian Life: Confusion, lesbian girl, old girl
lesbian girl, old girl, sexuality: Josi, It is possible to be attracted to the person and what she is on the inside rather than the gender itself. Since this is the first girl you have been attracted to it is hard to say. Spend some alone time with her and see what it progresses to. You...

Lesbian Life: Confusion about relationship, pressure environment, straight girl
pressure environment, straight girl, friend of a friend: Ash, I would try to get more one on one time so you can get a clear vibe about what s going on between the two of you. Its a really hard situation to be in with a straight girl. Take her out for coffee or a drink for a no pressure environment. Hope this helps,...

Lesbian Life: confused, first lesbian experience, lesbian friend
first lesbian experience, lesbian friend, first woman: Jess, The only thing I can tell you is just give it time to let her see you are for real and that it isn t a phase you are going through. Eventually she will realize that your feelings are real. Don t pressure her, just let time do what it needs to. Hope...

Lesbian Life: Very VERY confused, please help me., man of my dreams, person man
man of my dreams, person man, guy friends: Dear Very, What you describe, is similar in a lot of ways, to the first stages of the questioning phase. Your feelings for another person, man or woman do not have to compare in any way, to what other people s preferences are. You get to make your own...

Lesbian Life: confused about my sexual orientation, sexual orientation, freak out
sexual orientation, freak out, 2 girls: Dear Confused, Usually, when we are attracted to one gender or another, it is not the entire population of that gender that we are attracted to, but one person in particular (and sometimes more than one at a time) of that gender. Many lifelong lesbians...

Lesbian Life: a crush or more, honesty is the best policy, dear jill
honesty is the best policy, dear jill, girl crush: Dear Jill, As of now what you have towards her is a mixed feeling. It could be the 4 years of life that, you are trying to fill up which you spent alone. Your bad experiences with men could also be a reason that you are comfortable with her. Give everything...

Lesbian Life: Having difficult time dealing with effects of first time lesbian relationship, intense desires, lesbian relationship
intense desires, lesbian relationship, second guess: Michelle, Don t live your life for how your parents feel you should live it. You know who you are and what you want. You found someone that makes you happy and that you want to be with so stay with her. If your parents disapprove of this situation don t...

Lesbian Life: what to do about my ex girlfriend?, chanc, bad weather
chanc, bad weather, out of the blue: Dear ExG, Thanks for the clarification. In this case, I’m going to pay the most attention to the event or series of events that took place around the time of the breakup. For example, you say: “We had also started talking about getting an apartment together,...

Lesbian Life: Feeling Comfortable being Intimate, physical attraction, emotional attachment
physical attraction, emotional attachment, head over heels: I hope you are ready you hear this, from my experience you are having issues for a reason. Its the emotional attachment you have. Sex is a whole lot more difficult when you are in love. Make a big deal out of it, candles and whatever. Making love is totally...

Lesbian Life: I Have hocd (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder), hocd, sexual fantasy
Lesbian Life: I Have hocd (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder), hocd, sexual fantasy, denial

Lesbian Life: My friend, last hope, freak
last hope, freak, girlfriend: Kathy, Love, like and horny within the same paragraph is a lot for a girl your age. Keep it simple with her and go to the movies or dinner or whatever you two like to do and see where it goes. You can tell her you like her more than friends and she how she...

Lesbian Life: Good Hearted Cheater, baby momma, graduation party
baby momma, graduation party, faithful one: Antoinette, Maybe you should just stay single for awhile to give your heart time to heal from all this crap people are putting your though. I feel for you for all this. I also think you need to stay away from this so called friend Natalia. She is either...

Lesbian Life: Hard relationship, loyal friend, hardest thing
loyal friend, hardest thing, 6 years: Dear H, Communication is key. Don t just look at what is on the surface. Ask for and be willing to hear, her true fears and insecurities. Be a loyal friend in whom she can confide the truth without fear of being judged. Many folks do find it difficult...

Lesbian Life: What just happened........, crazy people, 4 months
crazy people, 4 months, family and friends: Dear Just, No one but her could possibly know for certain, if she does some of the things she does, just to mess with your emotions. In fact even she, may not know why she does these things. If I had to guess, I would say that a part of her, probably...

Lesbian Life: I Have hocd (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder), fetish fantasy, real boobs
fetish fantasy, real boobs, obsessive compulsive disorder: Rani, Ok, just to put your mind at a bit of ease, it is normal for a female to find the female body beautiful and not want to have sex with them. It doesn t mean you have to label yourself as a lesbian so relax. I truly believe it is all a fantasy dealing...

Lesbian Life: Jealousy/Trust Issues, ups and downs, trust issues
ups and downs, trust issues, delayed response: Hi Angela, Apologies for the delayed response. I understand that you love her a lot and have trouble moving on without her. If that was not the case there would have never been a comeback twice. My question to you is Will you be able to take it again if...

Lesbian Life: Does this mean she likes me,or it's just me???, applying lipstick, spoken person
applying lipstick, spoken person, frinds: Melanie, this is one instance where you need to be out spoken. Find Tess and just ask her whats up with you two. Sounds like you are looking at things that go on between you two very intensely, so now would be a good time to get things out in the open before...

Lesbian Life: Religous parents... Again., information thanks, choices
information thanks, choices, parents: Hayley, Ok, it seems pretty inevidable that not only will her parents find out but obviously they are going to send her away to school. It will be hard but you are both young and have no control over whatever happens. If it is meant to be for long term,...

Lesbian Life: Her religious parents.., honesty is the best policy, religious parents
honesty is the best policy, religious parents, many thanks: Hayley, honesty is the best policy. They will figure it out soon enough if you don t tell them and that will only make them more upset. You don t know how they will feel until you tell them. If they can accept you being that they are so religious, I would...

Lesbian Life: Still in love with my ex, disapproval, georgina
disapproval, georgina, 4 months: Zoe, I am sorry you are dealing with this as it has got to be hard on both of you. Since it is obvious you are on the losing end of this. She is chosing her parents over you and that most likely won t change anytime soon. Your best bet, as hard as this...

Lesbian Life: Not A True Friend, lesbian relationship, nice gifts
lesbian relationship, nice gifts, sexual contact: Hi, Great! I am really glad that you have control over your feelings and that s not something people easily have.. The very true and obvious answer is that she is not your true friend. You are a very strong and good person so you don t have to feel bad....

Lesbian Life: troubless, heart journal, bad company
heart journal, bad company, introspection: Dear Troubles, The reason why you continue to want to see her or to allow her to see you, has nothing to do with her. You apologize, when you’re not really sorry. You claim she “makes” you feel terrible. Nobody can make anyone feel anything, without your...

Lesbian Life: What to do....., bedroom apartment, 5 months
bedroom apartment, 5 months, five months: Tiffany, I have been in your shoes more than once so I def understand how difficult it can be living with an ex...especially an ex you still have feelings for. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself. Don t worry about her plans to get back with...

Lesbian Life: alone, nayomi, helpless child
nayomi, helpless child, coffee shops: Nayomi, you are so coming into yourself at fourteen, you above all others know yourself. Feeling alone at this age is normal, you need to find a place to hang out with people who are in a similar mind set. Coffee shops are awesome, so are bookstores help you...

Lesbian Life: Cheating Partner, mid life crisis, emotional dependence
mid life crisis, emotional dependence, romantic feelings: Hi Clara, The answer is that you are emotionally very much attached to her. Emotional dependence is the worst thing in any kind of relationship and it is really hard to get through because the one with it will never be able to let go the other nomatter...

Lesbian Life: Coming out to the children & ex husbands, school comments, stepdad
school comments, stepdad, friends at school: Cher, My advice to you is you just need to tell them if that is what you feel you need to do or it will eat at you. Your kids will soon realize it and will most likely be more upset if you keep lying to them. The longer you wait the more time they will...

Lesbian Life: Very Confussed need some advice, leap of faith, open ended question
leap of faith, open ended question, actual facts: Dear VC, The fact that she keeps her thoughts about relationships to her self, leads me to believe there is something there. Perhaps it is a sign of a difficult foundation with relationships (family of origin stuff). Or maybe, there is something very personal,...

Lesbian Life: what is my ex thinking?, single thing, insecurities
single thing, insecurities, girlfriend: Hi Amy. From what you ve described, it sounds like your ex may be at a different stage in her life and may not be ready to fully commit to you. If this is the case, I think it is important for you to decide whether you want to continue to have contact with...

Lesbian Life: Straight woman considering lesbian relationship, matters of the heart, racking my brain
Lesbian Life: Straight woman considering lesbian relationship, matters of the heart, racking my brain, childhood friend

Lesbian Life: hard to accept, fullfilling life, homosexuality
fullfilling life, homosexuality, whole life: Serena, So you would rather conform to being conditioned into being a heterosexual rather than live your own life for yoursel; to be happy? Not all of society is the same, not all in society think we should all live as heterosexuals. You need to find your...

Lesbian Life: help, lesbian relationship, 7 months
lesbian relationship, 7 months, coming home: Well Jill, If you have been in a relationship with her for 2 years and has given you no reason to believe she has cheated on you or no reason to doubt her than the feelings you have now you need to own. If she tells you there is nothing to worry about and...

Lesbian Life: help, im a little scared, lesbian mom, rock on baby
lesbian mom, rock on baby, positive outlook: Shayla, let s see I think I can answer this one. As a lesbain mom I have not had any issues with my children being not accepting or proud of their mom for being who she is and a whole lot better mom for it. They are very open minded to all ideas and still...

Lesbian Life: im confused, life doesn, nurture
life doesn, nurture, whole life: Hey Vernisha, I understand that you as a person have always craved for love and attachment and it is this nature of yours that you allowed someone to use you for her benefits. Life doesn t work like that if you keep giving at your cost you will always find...

Lesbian Life: interested?, virtual stranger, random conversation
virtual stranger, random conversation, desirable traits: Dear Interested, Don t let her actions dictate what you become involved in or not. Her behavior aside, ask yourself if what you really want, is a woman who flirts with everyone and if you are OK with dating someone who gets so drunk, that she has a completely...

Lesbian Life: is she interested, free time, little bit
free time, little bit, texts: Amber, I would love to help you with this but with what you ve given me I can t really offer the advice you want. From what little I know, it seems like you like her so why not explore it on your own. Go out with her more to eat or the movies and that will...

Lesbian Life: I'm More Femme Then Not And I'm Starting To See A Butch, butch, good luck
butch, good luck, amanda: Amanda, I would say approach it as you would any other type of situation. You can t help who you are attracted to. You are not at a disadvantage just because you have been with men, you will just appreciate women more because of it. Be yourself and don...

Lesbian Life: she needs time to think, many different things, pasts
many different things, pasts, retrospect: Sarah, wow okay, there are so many different things you could pick out of this that happened. I don t think she used you per say at all but I would give her the time she needs for retrospect. Do you know if it was her first time? Did she think you two moved...

Lesbian Life: please can you help me?, 15th birthday, kimmi
15th birthday, kimmi, nice boy: Kimmi, Hmmm, well a predicament you seem to be in. I personally don t think this girl should put that on you in order to have a relationship with her, what does your mom approving have to do with it? Your mom seems as though she isn t going to approve so...

Lesbian Life: Straight woman considering lesbian relationship, lesbian relationship, physical relationship
lesbian relationship, physical relationship, straight woman: Wanda, Regardless if you have fantasised about a physical relationship with a girl or not does not determine whether you are a lesbian or not. You don t have to label your self straight or lesbian...if you want to consider yourself straight then you can...

Lesbian Life: self acceptance., supportive parent, wonderful mother
supportive parent, wonderful mother, self acceptance: I also went through some of the same things you ve described and there was a period where I didn t accept myself, and to be honest, it was very tough. What helped me was to spend time alone and think about it. I thought about what it would be like, how I would...

Lesbian Life: sexual relationship, two different things, anal area
two different things, anal area, sexual relationship: marci, Butts and the anal area are two different things however it isn t about that it is about your comfort level. If the only thing that makes you say no is that hair around your anal area--tell her and she what she says, if it is the fact that you are...

Lesbian Life: undefined relationship, warm hug, eye contact
warm hug, eye contact, wink: Amber, seems to me that you and Taylor need to have a conversation about where this is going. In my mind I d say you two are right own track for the beginning of a relationship. If you need further explanation, talk to her and let her know your concerns. Just...

Lesbian Life: Wanting to approach a person....but...., chit chat, risk students
chit chat, risk students, pretty lady: Hi, She is living alone and is out of a relationship with children. It is quite obvious for women like that to feel comfortable with the same gender and sometimes they get pretty close with some whom they think share the same vibes. Just because she is...

Lesbian Life: Wanting to approach a person....but...., chit chat, risk students
chit chat, risk students, pretty lady: Dear Wanting, Wouldn’t most of us feel silly if it were suddenly discovered that all people are interested in both genders? The fact is that Kinsey’s scale of sexuality, does tell us that. Most of us fall somewhere on that spectrum and few folks fall at...

Lesbian Life: Is she Into me ? or What ?, easter holidays, serious relationship
easter holidays, serious relationship, housewarming party: Dear Is She, This girl seems like a really good candidate for a relationship. But when and with whom, is something for her to decide on her own. It sounds as though, she is struggling with the idea of her orientation and what that would mean for her....

Lesbian Life: 11 years with partner ~ No Respect, marital issues, harder time
marital issues, harder time, stepson: Christine, I think you really need to sit down and reacess your relationship with your partner. You two have been apart a long time now, I think you need to talk openly and honestly together about your future plans. Even in strong relationships, I believe...

Lesbian Life: COMPLICATED!, complicated question, serious relationship
complicated question, serious relationship, something left: Dear Complicated, First, realize that you have no control over your girlfriend s actions and no control over who she is at the core. If she is a person who cheats, a person who does not validate your feelings and a person who cannot even internally acknowledge...

Lesbian Life: Confused love issues, females, destiny
females, destiny, heart: Destiny, remember the first thing about advice isn t that its about you, its about what the person would do if it was them. There are many people out there that would say being straight is the popular option. But you need to find your own best option. ...

Lesbian Life: confused!, long term relationship, family and friends
long term relationship, family and friends, nanny: Claire, You seem more concerned about losing your job then in losing your girlfriend...you may need to think about this some more..You need to talk with your girl as it seems you are ready for it to be over. You need to search yourself for what you want...

Lesbian Life: confused!, wave lengths, dark thoughts
wave lengths, dark thoughts, pessimist: Alice, the most important thing for you to do is make sure you are happy. If you are not getting, and continuouly not getting what you need out of your relationship you need to figure out why. Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with her to see where...

Lesbian Life: So confused, rest of our lives, cliche
rest of our lives, cliche, couple of days: Hi, I have seen quite a few relationships of this kind where one of the partner is loyal and emotionally attached and the other always find a chance to leave. What I understand is that she will not stick with even if she comes back. Some people like to...

Lesbian Life: Is my coworker attracted to me? Or am I making a big deal of nothing?, bicurious, t text
bicurious, t text, texting: Hey Monica, First of all, your co worker does like you inspit of her marriage. At first it may seem to be a shock to you, but this situations do happen in real life. Yes, there are some individuals who are extremely kind, loving and caring,...

Lesbian Life: My girlfriend and I are ready to have a baby, califorina, sperm
Lesbian Life: My girlfriend and I are ready to have a baby, califorina, sperm, girlfriend

Lesbian Life: Girl, friends zone, good friend
friends zone, good friend: Marissa, Well there isn t much you can do if she only wants to be friends really, however just continue to spend time with her. You can subtly flirt with her and see how she responds. If she responds positively then it may change, if not then be happy to...

Lesbian Life: My girlfriend and I are ready to have a baby, artifical insemination, ready to have a baby
artifical insemination, ready to have a baby, lesbian couple: Amy, Not sure what to tell you here. I would keep looking if you two are serious about having a baby. You can always adopt if no one is willing to help. I wish I knew the right answer or someone to help, but I don t. I would just say keep looking around,...

Lesbian Life: girls, type of girl, good person
type of girl, good person, bf: Hi Again, First, congratulations on coming to a great conclusion. Figuring out that you play a part in most of what happens to you, is an all-important realization. Without this realization, all subsequent steps toward a better life are impossible. You...

Lesbian Life: Is she into girls?, chill friends, gay flag
chill friends, gay flag, girl at school: Dear Is She, I do not believe in labels. What you describe sounds more to me like, someone who is intent in standing firmly on one side, disinterested in what lies beneath the surface and denying all deeper aspects of herself. It is rare that any of...

Lesbian Life: Helping my daughters come to terms with having a lesbian Mum, mid life crisis, gay parents
mid life crisis, gay parents, mum and dad: B, the first one that comes to mind is Ellen s book called Love, Ellen. You can go on Amazon.com for reference books (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_11?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=gay+parents&sprefix=gay+parents) or any LGBT site will have...

Lesbian Life: help, good mood, intimacy
good mood, intimacy, alot: Andrea, it sounds like to me that you two need to sit down and talk about where this is headed. As a couple or two individuals pursuing a relationship, you need to talk about your intentions in it. There must be a middle ground reached for it to be benefiting...

Lesbian Life: Im Confused, bestfriend, lilly
bestfriend, lilly, fantasies: Hey Lilly, From what you are saying you are bi-curious, and it may seem a little weird at first, but do what makes you happy. i think that you should try being in a relationship with a girl because from what you are saying you are defiantly curious...

Lesbian Life: Being a lesbian woman., separation and divorce, lesbian relationship
separation and divorce, lesbian relationship, single parenting: Angela, wow this is tough on you both. If you love this woman I think she s worth waiting for. Its hard to deal with a lesbian relationship on any level. I truly believe love is worth putting yourself out of your comfort zone to show her that you will be...

Lesbian Life: lost and confused?, long distance relationship, dream of life
long distance relationship, dream of life, insecurities: Hi, This happens always in relationships where one is totally attracted to only same gender and the other is a bisexual. They have choice and are more open to new relationships and the one who is attracted to the same gender falls a prey to the loneliness...

Lesbian Life: Sexuality, catholic faith, small pond
catholic faith, small pond, two summers: Wow, this will take a lot os soul searching on your part. Is this girl really worth all the negative feelings you are receiving? I don t know what your feeling but if you think she is worth it, try and spent time with her to deal with her hangups about being...

Lesbian Life: Spark, reminisce, subtle changes
reminisce, subtle changes, ful: It sounds like you have already taken that first step toward forgiving your partner and moving forward. Is she also willing to do the same and stay committed to you? If so, it will not be an easy road ahead for you and her. It takes a while to build back up...

Lesbian Life: Spark, tangible proof, genuine commitment
tangible proof, genuine commitment, relati: Dear Spark, You have forgiven her and you have decided to stick around. I d say you ve done your part. The rest is up to her. Here s what you should expect to see from her: * Genuine commitment to change, without wavering. * Consistent, tangible...

Lesbian Life: sleeping, relationship counselor, physical closeness
relationship counselor, physical closeness, reasurance: Dear Sleeping, Thank you for your follow-up. It is helpful for me to hear what helps and what doesn t. As for her unwillingness to accompany you to therapy, couples often encounter this problem, when it comes to attending therapy together. I find that...

Lesbian Life: To stay or leave???, apologising, good friends
apologising, good friends, 6 years: Jade, first and foremost, a child should never bear the responsibility of if you stay or go. You got into this knowing your partner was a mother. She seems to be handling things as best she can in this difficult situation. I think you two need to talk about...

Lesbian Life: I wonder if she likes me too., taking your time, infront
taking your time, infront, holding hands: First, let me apologize for taking so long to get back with you. It s hard to tell from what you ve described if she likes you too. The only way to know for sure is to ask her. I am not encouraging or discouraging you to ask her, but if it means that much...

Lesbian Life: The works!, girlfried, m 41
girlfried, m 41, whole time: Jo, I can see why you don t want to go back to men.. My advice to you is to take things slow, invite her out and make sure she knows there s no strings attached. Seems like she backed away because of her grieving feelings for her ex and your feelings surfacing....

Lesbian Life: Is this it?, woman of my dreams, brilliant person
woman of my dreams, brilliant person, available women: Dear Is, One brilliant person I know says, “when (seemingly unrelated) topics come up in the same conversation, chances are, they are not so unrelated.” Your letter made me think of this. All of that stuff about your recent discovery that you like women...

Lesbian Life: age difference - would it be an issue?, woman of my dreams, happiest girl
woman of my dreams, happiest girl, minded person: Dear Age Diff, If I were you, I would not make that big of a deal about trying to prove to her that you are mature. After all, this could backfire and give exactly the opposite impression. Who are you trying to convince that you are mature? Has she given...

Lesbian Life: When/If I should break up, wonderful person, husband and wife
wonderful person, husband and wife, excuse: Hey Emily, It s ok to be feeling the way you are feeling right now. i totally understand that whole thing about being gay especially when you are trying to find your inner self. whether it is to be a bi sexual, a lesbian or a pan sexual. I really...

Lesbian Life: broken hearted, relationship communication, magical words
relationship communication, magical words, magic words: Cyndi, I don t have any magical words for you about this because you must take this into reality. Your girlfriend seems to be exploring her sexuality in some different way and feels like you are disaproving. What she needs now is support and understanding....

Lesbian Life: butch wanting to have a baby, motherly instincts, father of my children
motherly instincts, father of my children, responsbility: Jamie, that s great! Being a parent is a huge responsbility and it means you can t give the child back when your done. I consider myself butch as well but would not trade anything for my sons. They made me the woman I am today. I didn t know love, patience,...

Lesbian Life: Coming out, coming out to parents, gay parents
coming out to parents, gay parents, independent events: Dear ComingOut, Make sure you are well prepared, before you make the big announcement. Arm yourself with as much reading material as possible for parents of gay kids, to offer your mother in place of the words you may be at a loss for. PFLAG is a good...

Lesbian Life: is she in the closet, unlucky one, barma
unlucky one, barma, facebook: Hi Liz, Firstly, i don t think that the barmaid at the club has ever been with a girl, and from what you did say happened between the two of you all, i am having a feeling that she is bi curious and she is into you a bit but she doesn t really no...

Lesbian Life: confused###, desires, girlfriend
desires, girlfriend, feelings: hello confused### Personally i don t think you should be in a relationship where you don t like or care about the person ..i think it is wrong to hide your feelings away from someone this is rude and unacceptable.. have you considered counseling or the...

Lesbian Life: confused about who i am., emotional changes, sexual orientation
emotional changes, sexual orientation, fantasies: hey, thanks for the follow up, It sounds to me that your parents wouldn t be thrilled at first with your news. Therefore I suggest you slowly get into the conversation and tell them about yourself. you should take baby steps...

Lesbian Life: Im still in love with my ex girlfried, spell caster, ritualist
Lesbian Life: Im still in love with my ex girlfried, spell caster, ritualist, hello everyone

Lesbian Life: Habitual Cheating, fear of commitment, personal awareness
fear of commitment, personal awareness, trust issues: Dear Cheating, Thanks for the follow-up. I think the one, most crucial thing to always keep reminding yourself of and what the psychologist is trying to get across is, that her process is not about you. While some rape victims do not seem to carry the...

Lesbian Life: for help, life in the balance, straight girl
life in the balance, straight girl, somedays: Hello, first crushes are so hard because its so intense. My view in this is nothing worth putting your life in the balance. If she is not interested like she says, move on. There are many other girls out there who are ready for situations like this. Find someone...

Lesbian Life: Im still in love with my ex girlfried, present moment, firstly
present moment, firstly, ex girlfriend: Hey Jamie, I understand totally what you are saying, and everyone has to go through that situation once they were in love. Now, i don t want to seem harsh but you are in lust. What i think you should do, is to take some time off from her, but before...

Lesbian Life: Am i a lesbian?, coming to the stage, fancy men
coming to the stage, fancy men, kindest thing: Dear Reader, No one can tell you if you re a lesbian or not. The answer lies, not outside of yourself, but within. Sometimes it takes a really long time to figure it out, but you must ask all those difficult questions of yourself. You re right when...

Lesbian Life: A little confused.., two daughters, nap
two daughters, nap, firstly: Hello Joi, Well, from what you said to me in the passage you seem to have everything under control, what you re missing is confidence. Firstly, since you said age is not a problem for you, that s an issue you let out the way. Secondly,...

Lesbian Life: A moment with a straight girl, raw nerve, freak out
raw nerve, freak out, straight girl: Lori,this is a sticky situation. You need to try and talk to your friend and tell her exactly what you wrote. I know as lesbians we are more comfortable with ourselves and other girls but some girls do what your friend did. Either she liked it and didn t want...

Lesbian Life: Question, homosexual community, those girls
homosexual community, those girls, sexual orientation: Hi There, I think that what you describe sounds extremely common. You say: I look very straight. According to who? When I attend events where one might find large numbers of folks who identify as LGBT, I usually find a full range of looks there. By...

Lesbian Life: Question about my daughter if she is gay, female friends, place thanks
female friends, place thanks, safe sex: Hey Kate, First of all I can see that as a mother, you are very concerned about your daughter, but she is old enough to make her choices whether or not she wants to be with girls or guys. I believe that she is bi-curious and this can lead...

Lesbian Life: Question about daughter, move furniture, female friends
move furniture, female friends, place thanks: Dear Concerned Parent, What your daughter is doing, is perfectly natural. Experimentation, is a necessary part of self-awareness. To obtain more information which I am sure will be very helpful to you, visit: www.pflag.org and plan to attend some of...

Lesbian Life: Does She Really Love me?, taking my time, love interest
taking my time, love interest, cousins: Hello, its awesome that you are so in tune with yourself that your sexuality is already such a part of you. My advice would be to allow your love interest to get to that point as well. She seems to not be there yet and that s the reason she s so undecided...

Lesbian Life: so sad, catching feelings, time cause
catching feelings, time cause, belongings: Cristina, wow, this is really messed up situation. My advice to you is to gather up some paper or pencil or your laptop and write all your feelings down. Your girlfriend seems to have issues with this relationship when her family becomes involved. The whole...

Lesbian Life: Talking to a Child, time children, good chance
time children, good chance, right time: Hi, I would surely say no this is not the right time because this is the time children tend to see, know, learn what relationships are.. Right now she understands what she sees and this form of relationship is not widely accepted though there is nothing...

Lesbian Life: thanks for help.....I need some advices once again, student counselor, class mates
student counselor, class mates, sexual attraction: Hello Pat, Thanks again for righting back to me, i will be available any time you need my help. firstly, it s rare that a lesbian change fully into a heterosexual relation. That person may become a bi sexual but not straight, because that person...

Lesbian Life: My wife may be in the closet about being gay., argumentive, adult toy
argumentive, adult toy, toy party: Dear Reader, Don’t wait around for her to get counseling. If she is not ready, that is OK. Ultimately, you can only take responsibility for your own actions and have a say in what happens to you. So grab the bull by the horns and make an appointment to...

Lesbian Life: coming out, sexual preferences, home study
sexual preferences, home study, cousins: Hi Serena, What are you scared of???? Sexual preferences does not make anyone bad. You should accept yourself the way you are and that would give you strength to talk about yourself to your family. There is nothing wrong in being a lesbian and if you feel...

Lesbian Life: coming out, christian values, home study
christian values, home study, cousins: Hello, I know it may be hard coming out to your family. Especially if they have christian values,but if they really love you, they will not judge you. They will accept you for who you are and give you the love and support that you need. I would sit down and...

Lesbian Life: So confused.., big boss, personal problems
big boss, personal problems, bf: Hello,It seems she doesnt know what she wants. One minute shes giving you the cold shoulder then the next minute she wants to be your friend and be close again. I would sit her down and have a talk with her. If not I would recommend you move on and find someone...

Lesbian Life: My daughter came out.., raging hormones, dangerous behavior
raging hormones, dangerous behavior, breaking the rules: Hi Donna, 1st of all, I think it s very commendable that you and your husband are being so open-minded and understanding. Keep it up. There s not enough of that in this world. As for your daughter, I think you re dealing with a few different issues....

Lesbian Life: First Real Lesbian Relationship Need Help, eggs in one basket, lesbian relationship
eggs in one basket, lesbian relationship, trust issue: Dear Real, Particularly because you have both been through a lot and because, you both have trust issues, I would say, take it slowly. I can imagine what feelings of comfort she must bring you. But, to you especially and because of your background,...

Lesbian Life: Heartbroken, serious relationship, initiates
serious relationship, initiates, true love: Hi, Well I don t see any reason as to why you should not call her... The major issue in true love and any serious relationship is Expectations.. You expected her to think the same way you did on the anniversary and when that didn t happen it spoiled the...

Lesbian Life: Lesbian wife ?, suspisions, cute women
suspisions, cute women, lesbian porn: Hello,well if she has desires for other women then she may actually want to try it. It s good to communicate more with her and see how she really feels. If she s not happy in the marriage then she should leave the marriage. By her saying that she should of...

Lesbian Life: married and questioning, question the answer, gay women
question the answer, gay women, sexual partner: Dear Reader, On occasion, I have tackled the proverbial: How do you eat an elephant, question. The answer inevitably follows: One bite at a time, of course. So, the next question becomes: Which ‘bite” do you eat first? When it comes to married...

Lesbian Life: Need Advice, gay churches, planetsappho
gay churches, planetsappho, mate1: Hello, yes in the Lesbian life its so hard to find someone. As being a lesbian myself I do can understand where you re coming from. The girl that you have a crush on have you tried to hang out with her?like ask her to hang out with you to a movie, or brunch...

Lesbian Life: nipples,backside, long nips, girl friend
long nips, girl friend, backside: Hello, well you should take it as a compliment that shes that attracted to you and wants you daily. There is nothing wrong with it. Enjoy it as much as possible.If she wants to do it before showering I guess she enjoys the way you taste. have fun with it....

Lesbian Life: Saving a relationship after the long distance, long distance relationship, saving a relationship
long distance relationship, saving a relationship, emotional affair: Dear Saving, Is there anything I can do to to improve myself? This is the most important question of all. In addition, I will ask: Why are you settling for someone who is so completely unavailable? If she says she does not want you to distance yourself...

Lesbian Life: Some Advice?, friend of a friend, better person
friend of a friend, better person, rest of the day: Dear Reader, There is simply no way to tell what she‘s thinking. Even if you know for a fact that she has the deepest of romantic feelings for you, she may not know this about herself. If you approach her, she may recoil in fear or out of self-loathing...

Lesbian Life: advice, issue at hand, football game
issue at hand, football game, engagment: Hello, first of all congrats on the engagment. It seems that shes not really handling living with your son too well. Which Iam sure she knew all of this prior to proposing and prior to moving in as well. This is something that should have been discussed from...

Lesbian Life: age gap with a twist, old ghosts, shock to my system
old ghosts, shock to my system, age gap: Hello, well what I say to this is that despite the age gap communication is the best thing. Let her know how you feel. And she should be more understanding to your feelings and concerns. If she really loves you then you have nothing to worry about, especially...

Lesbian Life: attracted to a lesbian co-worker, wonderful woman, married woman
wonderful woman, married woman, true self: Lea, Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help you. Have you spoken with your husband about your feelings towards this woman or any other past attempts with women? If you have, then that is great! Communication is always of the utmost importance...

Lesbian Life: backside, browneye, embarasing
browneye, embarasing, laughing matter: Hello,how are you?well when someone cares about you theres no need to laugh, because this is something that you can t help. Now when you say that your backside is large do you mean your butt?or are you talking about your vagina? But to answer your question...

Lesbian Life: just beginning to think i'm bi-curious, delaney, cuddle
delaney, cuddle, hallways: Delaney, Actually, I wouldn t worry too much about labeling yourself. If you find yourself attracted to other girls, then I say go for what you want and leave the labeling to other people and just enjoy yourself. It sounds like you are looking for that...

Lesbian Life: how do I break up?, male friends, cofee
male friends, cofee, wonderful person: Hello, oh that is really serious if shes threatening to end her life over you. There are some issues that she needs to sort out. Have you tried getting her some help either a therapist or a doctor? Let her know that you really care about her but in order...

Lesbian Life: crossing the line..., stick in the mud, sexual woman
stick in the mud, sexual woman, women friends: Hello, even though it seems that she may have some attraction for you as well. And she hasnt left her husband yet and says that its good between she may be a bit confused and want the both of you. She enjoys spending time with you as well and also wants to...

Lesbian Life: curious, car ride home, crazy dreams
car ride home, crazy dreams, pretty face: Dear Curious, Straight girls do flirt with other girls. Sometimes this is not conscious. In her case, everything seems to indicate she s got deep feelings for you and yet she s counting on being able to overcome all her feelings for you the minute...

Lesbian Life: Don't Know what to do..., lunch tray, waiting in line
lunch tray, waiting in line, longest time: Hello, well the best way to ask your friend on how she feels without stepping over the line and losing your friendship is asking her how she feels about homosexuals?Then you can ask her if shes ever done that before?and how she would feel if someone she knew...

Lesbian Life: How do I fall out of love?, great girl, first love
great girl, first love, single day: Hello, as with any break up it all takes time. I know it s hard because I have gone through the same thing. And especially when theres a song that comes on it makes you think of that person. The best thing to do is to keep yourself as busy as possible. Join...

Lesbian Life: Gay girl straight girl crush, affectional orientation, conventional definitions
affectional orientation, conventional definitions, girl crush: Dear Reader, As it happens, you are writing to somebody who doesn t believe in labels. In my view, everyone s affectional orientation is somewhere on the continuum. But, very few people fall at either extreme end. This means, that you would have to...

Lesbian Life: Lesbian life, lesbian life, underwear
lesbian life, underwear, girlfriend: Hello,I think there s not a really appropriate time to be intimate. i would just go with the flow and you guys do it according to when you feel the time is right. When you both feel its comfortable and you re both relaxed. As far as the sharing of underwear,...

Lesbian Life: How To Meet, lesbian bar, mate 1
lesbian bar, mate 1, cofee: Hello,well the best thing to do is go on a website, such as myspace or even mate 1. or if you dont want to spend the money on a dating website, try www.craiglist.com in your area. Place an ad stating that you re bicurious and would love to meet a woman for...

Lesbian Life: I'm confused!, contrary to popular belief, self exploration
contrary to popular belief, self exploration, strong word: Dear Confused, So you have passed for heterosexual up until this point. Lots of folks do on the way to self-exploration. There is more than one stop on the spectrum of sexuality and sometimes, it changes. Hate is a strong word. What we interpret...

Lesbian Life: I'm so confused!, sexual desires, best of luck
sexual desires, best of luck, christy: Christy, Sexual desires and having actual feelings towards someone doesn t always go hand in hand. It could be that you view her in that light because you have heard that she is so promiscuous and your fantasies have taken over a bit. I wouldn t take...

Lesbian Life: I'm in a lesbian relationship, but I'm very unsure about my sexuality., lesbian relationship, having a great time
lesbian relationship, having a great time, sexual person: Dear Unsure, In general, I do not believe in labels. They are useful to some extent and for the purpose of description and language, but they never tell the whole story. Basically, labels serve to box what cannot and should not, be boxed. We are far more...

Lesbian Life: How do I make a move on my boss?, epic proportions, curious girl
epic proportions, curious girl, fellow employee: Hello,well first of all its always a No-No to have some type of intimacy relationship with someone you work with. Because suppose you guys do hit it off and have a great time and make love, and then it goes sour. Can you imagine having to face her after you...

Lesbian Life: Please help me, girl at school, blushes
girl at school, blushes, smiles: Hello,well it seems that she feels the same way you do.However since shes graduating soon she probably just wants to focus on school right now. is there a way where you guys can go to the same school once you graduate as well?perhaps still keep in contact...

Lesbian Life: Should I proceed??, long distance relationship, mutual attraction
long distance relationship, mutual attraction, common interests: Hello, well in my opinion I would go with your gut feeling. If you really want to pursue her I recommend that you do. Especially it seems that you really like her and want to get to know her much better. Just take things slow and one day at a time, it will...

Lesbian Life: Should I proceed??, long distance relationship, dating website
long distance relationship, dating website, mutual attraction: Dear Reader, I often caution women about becoming too deeply involved in a long-distance or on-line relationship before you actually meet the person. There is so much to know about a person that can only be known from regular, face-to-face interaction....

Lesbian Life: Should I proceed??, long distance relationship, mutual attraction
long distance relationship, mutual attraction, common interests: Hi there! Patience is lot required in this relationship from what you have explained above. Well for anyone who has been molested be it during childhood or now it is definitely not easy to live life normal. The thoughts keep torturing them and it takes...

Lesbian Life: Should I proceed??, long distance relationship, mutual attraction
long distance relationship, mutual attraction, common interests: Keri, If you do care for her and want to pursue a relationship, then I say go for it. It may be difficult at times while she is trying to go through her emotions, but you being there for her might also help her to deal with and work through all she is...

Lesbian Life: Questioning...., game of truth, oppourtunity
game of truth, oppourtunity, cant trust: M, I could understand how you would be hesitant given your past and things you have been through. But.. in all honesty, I would say go where your heart leads you. I wouldn t necessarily focus on labels of being lesbian, straight, bi or what have you....

Lesbian Life: my relationship, specifics, girlfriend
specifics, girlfriend, desires: Tinyee, Have you spoken with your girlfriend about this? I would suggest doing so, if you have not yet already. Sitting down with her and being open and honest about your feelings, needs and desires is a great way for you both to be able to express...

Lesbian Life: Struggle with sexuality and posibility of being BI, lesbian relationship, multiple personalities
lesbian relationship, multiple personalities, sexual relationships: Kris, What an exciting time in your life this is right now! It s always wonderful when someone actually opens their eyes to their true sexuality and are willing to find out what the future has in store for them. Although it s exciting, it can also be...

Lesbian Life: how can i tell her my feelings; open up bout my sexuality with my friends and family., ohk, basketball team
ohk, basketball team, sher: Hello,the best way to break the news is to have a talk with them, first invite them to lunch and break it easily. Say that this lifestyle is something that makes you very happy and that you re comfortable with it. If they really love you, they will support...

Lesbian Life: I am wondering if the girl that i argued with likes me?, retart, facebook
retart, facebook, funnie: Ann, You may not like what I have to say, but this is how I see it. I am not trying to be mean to you, but trying to open your eyes to the situation as I see it... An outside opinion. Even though you may not have had intentions to do so, it seems to...

Lesbian Life: What should I do!?, christy, lunch
christy, lunch: Hello,well sounds a bit confusing since you dont really like her, and she feels the same way, yet you want to have sex with her. Well maybe try patching things up and become friends again. Invite her out to lunch or something, have a conversation. Then let...

Lesbian Life: any additional advice helpful and needed., memory lapses, manic episode
memory lapses, manic episode, quetion: Hello, and sorry for the late reply. Well iam so sorry to hear that your gf has bipolar., Its very hard to deal with someone who has it. However it takes alot of patience. So if you love her just hang in there and communicate with her as much as possible....

Lesbian Life: Best friend
Hello,well it seems that she does like you but not 100% sure if she likes you in that kind of way. Just continue showing her how you feel. Like when its her bday take her to her favorite place. suprise her with cards. and also invite her out to dinner. If...

Lesbian Life: confuesed between my love affair and religion
Hello, well in my opinion, life is too short. So with that being said you deserver to be happy and you need to do what makes you happy. If being with your husband doesnt satisfy you and truly makes you happy, you should be honest with him and let him know...

Lesbian Life: So confused, head games, being friends
head games, being friends, girlfriend: Hello, yes it seems that shes a bit confused. Seems that your ex doesnt know what she wants and wants to have her cake and eat it too. Even though she broke it off with you but still keep you in the loop by texting and calling you. I would just make it clear...

Lesbian Life: I Don't Think I Enjoy Sex, chemical imbalance, opinon
chemical imbalance, opinon, magnifying glass: Dear Reader, Sex is not usually the most important thing in a relationship, until you re not having any and then... then it becomes, Everything. The magnifying glass in your relationship should not be on the sex itself, but on what lies beneath this...

Lesbian Life: The ex factor, emotional dependence, boy friends
emotional dependence, boy friends, one people: Hi, I beleive you should let go off her.. If she really loves you and still thinks about you, the way you do - she does not have to come back when something is going wrong in her life. People make mistakes and ex s come back when dumped by their boy friends...

Lesbian Life: girls, possiable, strong feeling
possiable, strong feeling, circumstance: hello Katie, sorry for the late response, well firstly, i cannot tell you how to overcome your feelings for someone if you haven t told yourself or even tried to peruse this action. i understand this is a hard process but eventually it will fade....

Lesbian Life: god!!!, gender relationships, rape victims
gender relationships, rape victims, opposite genders: Hi Ryan, It s nothing but preferences my friend. All are not born with the same likes or dislikes on earth.. Each individual has their own comfort zones.. As faf as I can understnad from your question you feel the same gender relationships are stupid but...

Lesbian Life: Love or obesession?
Hello, well in my opinion I think its Love & Obsession. As you can see your ex has moved on to someone else. And the sad part is that you still lover her. And I know loving someone and letting them go is really hard, but within time you will heal and become...

Lesbian Life: In Love with a 'Straight' Girl, sexual tension, straight girl
sexual tension, straight girl, sexual experience: Leslie, It seems to me that she is bisexual, but not fully in the way that you d want. Most likely, she is just intrigued by it for the sexual aspect but not relationship wise. If you are looking for more, then I would look elsewhere for the time. It...

Lesbian Life: what label ? if any, broad spectrum, three ways
broad spectrum, three ways, boyfriends: Dear How, Here is a great website for you to visit - linger: http://members3.boardhost.com/Ask_Joanne You can never know what to label yourself, based on what someone else tells you. Furthermore, if you have read my column at all, you will know that...

Lesbian Life: When will I ever learn?, straight women, bad luck
straight women, bad luck, love: Hi there, I know how it feels and how complicated it is.. There is no fault of your s on this and you don t have to feel bad... It is nothing but a bad timing or a bad luck that everytime the women you fall for turns out to be a straight and it kills you...

Lesbian Life: lesbian life, freshman year, breast cancer
freshman year, breast cancer, lesbian life: hi Cecilia, i can see that love is defiantly in the air. you too both feel a very strong tension between the two of you all. and it all seem strange to you because you all were best friends and now all of a sudden you are together ...an it all seems so...

Lesbian Life: when is money an topic, head over heels, jerk
head over heels, jerk, suggestion: Hello, No you are not for letting this bother you. Any relationship should be 50/50 its okay once in awhile to pick up the tab for your lover, however the next time she should say oh baby dont worry I will get it for you. Because the more you do it, the more...

Lesbian Life: Rekindling the fire, happy relationship, spontaneous sex
happy relationship, spontaneous sex, great compliments: hello Agnes, i can see that you are hurting very much. but the point of the matter is that you all are having so much fun, chatting ect...and NO SEX AS U SAID. there is something wrong.. she flirts , on text messages. there is a huge problem there. for...

Lesbian Life: Relationship advice, long term relationships, lesbian relationship
long term relationships, lesbian relationship, bisexual girl: hey lana, thanks for coming to me. firstly all i have to say is that if you are not getting any satisfaction or you are not happy in the relationship you are in with this particular guy, THEN there is no reason to stay with him when you know that you...

Lesbian Life: relationship breakup, relationship breakup, lesbian relationship
relationship breakup, lesbian relationship, miserable situation: I would advise just moving on with your life and find happiness somewhere else. Get involved with things in your community or start taking a class to keep your mind and you busy. I know breakups are hard, but it does get easier with time. Focus on yourself...

Lesbian Life: Sexual Feelings, sexual feelings, sexual fantasies
sexual feelings, sexual fantasies, sexual images: hello Emily, apologies for my late response. calm down, you are ok. well for sure you can t hide the fact that you are into women.. and there might be a chance you are a lesbian. but if you like men then you are a bisexual. there are homophobic out...

Lesbian Life: Sexual Feelings, sexual feelings, sexual fantasies
sexual feelings, sexual fantasies, sexual images: Hello, and sorry for the late reply. Well its really hard since shes already with someone, the age difference is not a big issue. It would be different if she was single, but since she s not it makes things a bit harder. You may be a bit curious since you...

Lesbian Life: Sexual Feelings, sexual feelings, sexual fantasies
sexual feelings, sexual fantasies, sexual images: Dear Reader, Being a lesbian is not only about, sexual feelings though these are sometimes part of the picture. If you have read my column before, you probably know that I prefer the phrase, affectional orientation to, sexual orientation. ...

Lesbian Life: unwanted sexual attention, unwanted sexual attention, unwanted sexual advances
unwanted sexual attention, unwanted sexual advances, good relationship: hello, Scabs well firstly what i have to tell you is that there is no solution to stop unwanted sexual attraction between you and your mate from the out side world. i mean, in general if a particular person sees you and they like you obviously that person...

Lesbian Life: co-worker.... too much?, mischievous smile, smile on her face
mischievous smile, smile on her face, dangerous road: hi there May, I think you know the answer to that, yes you did go a little to far. I think that this is a work place and it should be strictly business oriented. And that there are people around watching and knowing that she is married. Who says that...

Lesbian Life: Coming out ..A Lesbian, sexual orientation, norms
sexual orientation, norms, desires: hello Brooke, Brooke, if we worry about what people thinks about us, or what society believe or think that we should follow the norms, all of us would go crazy. if you don t want anybody to know your gay, just keep it to yourself, don t tell people about...

Lesbian Life: confused 19yr old girl, naked guy, guy friends
naked guy, guy friends, naked girl: hey dp, definitely you are confused, because you sound confusing to me, but i managed to read and understand some of the things your saying and what you are going through. you just need to know some meanings of certain, instance in the gay world. so let...

Lesbian Life: Girl Crush, pet name, clue
Lesbian Life: Girl Crush, pet name, clue, relationships

Lesbian Life: our first time together, making love, having sex
making love, having sex, horizons: Hey Amanda, Well if it s going to be her first time, and you do not want to use your fingers and tongue only, you can use what is called a dildo, if you also want to spice up your relationship. Or you can take a visit to the sex shop there are many other...

Lesbian Life: Girl Crush, girl crush, friend claire
girl crush, friend claire, time id: hey there confused, your name says it all, you are surely confused. Hold it down, You sound like your going crazy for a while, but i understand what you are going through. You said that you are straight, but the question is are you truly straight? since...

Lesbian Life: Girl I might, girl age, strong word
girl age, strong word, mouths: hello there Unsure, well, reader, you sound like your bi curious. your not a lesbian because your attracted to both sex. I will not say that you love her, lol i mean, love is such a strong word or to much of a strong word to use in this incident. but i...

Lesbian Life: How do I know if my friend likes me?, dating girls, unhappy face
dating girls, unhappy face, cute guy: dear reader, There s no sure way to tell what your friend s intentions are except to ask. So what I suggest you do it have a talk with her about it. Ask her if she has ever thought of you as more than a friend. You already know she is gay, so you already...

Lesbian Life: Questioning, feelings, tv show
feelings, tv show, girls: Honestly, don t wonder what you are constantly. The easiest way to figure out who you are is to feel. If you get caught up in the titles you might lose yourself. Some people think oh I like girls, I m a lesbian. even when they might be bisexual or pansexual....

Lesbian Life: 8 year age difference?, friend zone, age is just a number
friend zone, age is just a number, homebody: Well personally I have always found the saying age is just a number to be pretty true. You may want to try and get close to her as friends first and maybe drop a few hints that you like her. You don t want to be stuck in the friend zone. Maybe get to know...

Lesbian Life: How do I tell my parents?, honesty, relationship
Lesbian Life: How do I tell my parents?, honesty, relationship

Lesbian Life: Help, mind women, going to hell
mind women, going to hell, beloved friend: Hello, I m 18 years old, as I m sure you know from my profile, and I grew up in a mennonite family. Mennonite s are extremely orthodox. However, I am not very religious myself. I do however understand the idea of conflict with your feelings. It may seem like...

Lesbian Life: Lesbian or Bisexual?, emotional attraction, false hope
emotional attraction, false hope, perfect man: If you aren t attracted to men then you just aren t. Convincing yourself that you are bisexual will only cause future problems. It may give your family false hope and make it harder to settle down when you finally do find a woman you want to be with. If your...

Lesbian Life: How do I tell my parents?, mum dad, whever
mum dad, whever, religious family: Well, maybe you should consider not telling them for a while. Parents aren t likely to believe you when you are younger anyways. It may be easier to keep this to yourself rather then face their wrath. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes you have to live your...

Lesbian Life: trying to understand my girlfriend, lesbian relationship, independent woman
lesbian relationship, independent woman, facebook: Well, personally I would never consider that cheating. I think you should apologize and make sure she understands that you only love her. Let her know that the other girl was only your friend and nothing more. Maybe try getting her flowers and giving her a...

Lesbian Life: does arousal mean i'am a lesbian?, sexual orientation, 2 women
sexual orientation, 2 women, kelsey: Hello, Just because you are excited by women does not make you a lesbian, however, you are probably bisexual. I know of many women who were sexually attracted to women and most dated men. However, they all eventually found 1 or 2 women that they actually...

Lesbian Life: How to get her attention., straightforward answer, m tech
straightforward answer, m tech, stairwell: Flirting doesn t have a straightforward answer. You might not know how to flirt but just being yourself around that person is likely to bring flirtatious tendencies out. Try and be friends and then try to hint that you think she s pretty or special or whatever...

Lesbian Life: confusing relationship, confusing relationship, last night i had a dream
confusing relationship, last night i had a dream, exes: I know a lot of girls who are bisexual but are very picky about one gender or the other. Two of my exes for instances dated me for 6 months to a year and have never before or after dated another girl. It is entirely possible that you are bisexual you just...

Lesbian Life: Confusion, criminal punishments, living in abu dhabi
criminal punishments, living in abu dhabi, hormone treatments: Clearly you love her. However, you should probably keep these feelings to yourself while you are in that country. I read up on the criminal punishments and it doesn t sound pleasant. Some of it results in death, hormone treatments, and many other punishments....

Lesbian Life: I'll do anything to save this relationship, massive attention, step dad
massive attention, step dad, ups and downs: Honestly it sounds like your in a currently unhealthy relationship. Now, that isn t entirely unsalvageable but it isn t healthy to stay in. I would recommend that you two take a break. Explain to her you feel like she doesn t give you attention. Maybe try...

Lesbian Life: Married and confused, highschool sweetheart, thinking about women
highschool sweetheart, thinking about women, sexual thing: You should think of your personal happiness. You should look to going for what you want and although it may hurt your husband the best thing you can do is go for what you want. So, I would recommend you tell him how you feel and talk it over with him. Just...

Lesbian Life: how to tell my kids im lesbian?, 6 years, 3 years
6 years, 3 years, girlfriend: I m not necessarily the best person to help you with this but I do know that the younger a kid is the easier it will be for them to accept it. However, a kid that young won t fully understand what you are saying until they are older. It would be best to just...

Lesbian Life: What did I do wrong?, field interest, couple drinks
field interest, couple drinks, white wine: This is a complicated question to answer. Your friend, Chelsea is one of the few people I know of to cut someone out of their life for a slight attraction. I would recommend you try and move on from this experience. Waiting for her probably isn t wise. If...

Lesbian Life: Codependency, alanon meetings, nar anon
alanon meetings, nar anon, true relationship: Hi, I know how it feels and what you are going through.. This is not because I get to talk or write to many with this but my own experience. It is not about 51/2 years or say 2 years or even the time but it is about how much one lose herself to love...

Lesbian Life: Confused and looking for perspective, emotional mess, hey bobby
emotional mess, hey bobby, sexual relationships: Hi, Sorry for the late response.. From what you have written above I understand you always had strong feelings towards girls and this was supressed within you because of the happenings in your school and the your parents explanation to the subject. You...

Lesbian Life: Confusion, affectional orientation, gaydar
affectional orientation, gaydar, renting a room: Dear Reader, It would not be unheard of that if you have been mistreated by men, you might feel mistrusting toward men. But, considering a whole separate sexual (or affectional) orientation, as a result would be pretty far-fetched. Also, some women may...

Lesbian Life: Crush on a girl, don't know sexuality, time conversations, gender relationships
time conversations, gender relationships, concrete answer: Hi, I can understand your situation. You can t ask her openly for the fear of losing her and keeping it within you without a concrete answer feels miserable. But then again there has to be a starting point somewhere to conclude things.. Let s go slow...

Lesbian Life: Codependency, coda group, miracles in progress
Lesbian Life: Codependency, coda group, miracles in progress

Lesbian Life: She keeps pushing me away...., blah blah, long stretch
blah blah, long stretch, 4 months: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response.. Well is this the same girl whom you had mentioned the last time you wrote to me.. I understand she is very different from you and that absolutely is no harm at all but the greatest concern over here is - Is she really...

Lesbian Life: l think l've fallen in a very short time., bull by the horns, face book
bull by the horns, face book, sales lady: Dear Reader, She s right. No contact is exactly the path to take here. First, you have each been less than candid with the other -- what kind of a foundation is that, for a solid relationship? This sounds like something that is headed for grief and disappointment,...

Lesbian Life: lesbianism, relationship, shopping
relationship, shopping: Hi, Very sorry for the late response... Well, what is her approach to the same gender relationship. Please understand that as it is very important to understand her feeling towards this before you lose yourself for her. If she is of the same kind...

Lesbian Life: I'm so confused, schedule time, t text
schedule time, t text, jan 24: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response. As much as I could understand staying away from each other or within limits was not that impossible on either sides. The best that you could do to each other is sit and talk and understand where the relationship is...

Lesbian Life: What should i do?please help.., bad shape, ups and downs
bad shape, ups and downs, good shape: Hi, Extremely sorry for the delayed response.. I strongly feel you should let her go...Firstly, when you are in true love with someone you would not go and sleep with someone else. Secondly, even sfter that happened from her side she still feels nothing...

Lesbian Life: Flirty OR Friendly?, weho, nyr
weho, nyr, gay guys: Dear Reader, Do you like her? If you don t, she may give you the look, the vibe, the swag, the smile and the whole kit and caboodle and it wouldn t make one bit of difference. In fact, her advances might make you kind of uncomfortable if you weren...

Lesbian Life: is she flirting with me?, lesbian relationship, friendly relationship
lesbian relationship, friendly relationship, beautiful smile: Dear Reader, Back away immediately. Did I read correctly, that you -- have a partner? Where is your partner, in all of this? If she matters so little to you, that you have not even mentioned anything about the relationship between you here, when this...

Lesbian Life: Lesbian Life, praying to god, relationship with god
praying to god, relationship with god, mel white: Dear Reader, Most of us, at one time or another wonder how, conventional religious teachings and homosexuality; could possibly be reconciled? If all that your clergyfolk have said were accurate, that question might be quite a dilemma. Personally,...

Lesbian Life: Always Lost, heart soul, emotional level
heart soul, emotional level, thro: Hi, Sorry for the delayed response. As much as you have explained about her she had never committed to you on a strong relationship or does not even look like she ever loved you. You were all into her but she wasn t. Anyone whom you love the most you...

Lesbian Life: Stuck, first kiss, straight woman
first kiss, straight woman, wedding anniversary: Dear Reader, You want non-judgmental advice and I will stick to that request by addressing the subject indirectly and in a general way. Generally speaking, women who are married and dating/flirting with another woman on the side; do not leave their...

Lesbian Life: One sided sex., different sex possitions, first girlfriend
different sex possitions, first girlfriend, self consciousness: Hi, Sorry about the late reply.. Hey not everyone starts these easily so just give it some more time but please make sure she is happy with you and that is very important, though you have already mentioned.. Try watching some movies together with...

Lesbian Life: confused and scared, cdl driver, bad taste in my mouth
cdl driver, bad taste in my mouth, long term relationships: Dear Reader, Kudos on going with the feeling, despite all the (community) voices in your head leading you elsewhere. Also, kudos on guarding his feelings and being completely honest with him about how you define yourself. If you are familiar with my...

Lesbian Life: Falling Out of Love???, sex chat room, serious relationship
sex chat room, serious relationship, mutual friend: Hi, Not being harsh here but don t you think you should never have committed if you could not keep it up. You were involved with a women who has the bad past of being cheated and you knew it but still did the same and proved her correct to her doubts. To...

Lesbian Life: How is she really feeling?, freshmen year, first move
freshmen year, first move, last september: Hi, She seems to be having some issues within her or she is just like that. You need to talk to her and find out as to why she feels this can t work because you feel complete with her. Give her the assurance that you will be there with her nomatter what...

Lesbian Life: is my wife gay, intents and purposes, half brother
intents and purposes, half brother, class member: Dear Reader, Considering what you have been lead to believe as this woman s track-record and/or reputation, it would seem to me that her orientation should be the least of your wife s concerns. In any case, you and your wife are separated. Separated,...

Lesbian Life: Transference, childhood traumas, unconditional affection
childhood traumas, unconditional affection, delicate matter: Dear Reader, Most therapists, are trained in the area of transference. To some degree, they have all experienced it, whether openly or not. It is expected that this will happen. When it does, working on it usually means, getting past it, so that we can...

Lesbian Life: Two truths, binge drinker, physical affection
binge drinker, physical affection, sophomore year: Dear Reader, You are wise beyond your years. In reading your letter, I felt certain that you have great instincts and already know the right path to take. There is no doubt, that your relationship with her is worth perusing. The question is, on what capacity?...

Lesbian Life: Affair with a lesbian in an "open" relationship, time girlfriend, open relationship
time girlfriend, open relationship, professional man: Dear Reader, There seem to be many appealing qualities about her which may be rare in other women. This, coupled with the fact that you were friends first, you got to know her as a person and she got to know you. I m sure she must feel love and admiration...

Lesbian Life: Confused and looking for advice, obsessive compulsive disorder, reproductive abilities
obsessive compulsive disorder, reproductive abilities, experimentation phase: Dear Reader, A phase -- why stop at that? When it could be anything, from an obsessive-compulsive disorder to a desire to just be trendy. Luckily, this will not be an attempt at a diagnosis or prognosis. It is not necessary and can even be harmful...

Lesbian Life: Long term relationship question, long term relationship, relationship question
long term relationship, relationship question, initial phase: Dear Reader, Not all relationships turn out to be ideal romantic matches. Though many appear just magical, at first. Sometimes, we meet someone and during that initial phase #the anesthetic stage#, we tend to find no fault in our partner, until...

Lesbian Life: What to do?, degeneres sitcom, ellen degeneres
degeneres sitcom, ellen degeneres, good friends: Dear Reader, I have a heterosexual friend who I once questioned about this. I asked: Do women who are primarily interested in men, ever wonder if other female friends are romantically interested in them? She said: Yes, always. She added that she hopes...

Lesbian Life: How and when should I come out to family and friends?, dating girls, girl on tv
dating girls, girl on tv, s gross: Hi Ashley, Many thanks for your email. The first thing is your own self acceptance and you have already done that so well done. That is the first stage. My therapy is based on three points: Acceptance Balance Celebration So you have one box ticked....

Lesbian Life: hoping for guidance during questioning, lesbian counselling, letting go
lesbian counselling, letting go, gay advice: Hi Penny, Thanks for your email. You are being very hard on yourself and I want to help you! If labels are an issue to you ( they are to almost everybody if we are truly honest so don t worry about that at all), then I suggest you start to focus on...

Lesbian Life: The lesbian world, lesbian world, straight world
lesbian world, straight world, spending time: Hi Tracey, Thankyou for your email. I get lots of emails regarding this type of subject. This is not a situation exclusive to the Lesbian World as you put it. Would anyone be happy letting their partner have a crush on someone else and spending time with...

Lesbian Life: How to let go, lesbian counselling, letting go
lesbian counselling, letting go, gay advice: Hi Lorraine, I am so pleased you found my initial advice helpful and that you are feeling better. Knowing that both of you were together in a secret relationship, neither prepared to come out, makes this situation all the more difficult to grieve. Grief,...

Lesbian Life: WHAT TO DO, lesbian advice, lesbian therapy
lesbian advice, lesbian therapy: Hi Wendy, Is there are good reason why they do not like her? They may feel they are trying to protect you, even if this is misguided. Maybe you would be fine if the situation was reversed, but your partner is clearly upset by this and whilst she does not...

Lesbian Life: Break up, or not?, long distance relationship, couples counseling
long distance relationship, couples counseling, new girls: Dear Reader, In my experience, cheating doesn t happen because there are too many cute girls around. It happens, because there is a void in your current relationship. Make a plan to put forth your best effort to fix whatever is broken in your current...

Lesbian Life: Coming out, colombia south america, first girlfriend
colombia south america, first girlfriend, spanish background: Dear Ana, Many thanks for your email. Firstly let me assure you, you are not alone in this and that many young men and women face this decision. You are clearly an intelligent young lady and are considering all options before you go ahead. If you are 100%...

Lesbian Life: Confused with my partner, long distance relationship, lovey dovey
long distance relationship, lovey dovey, lesbian friend: Dear Reader, At 30, if you make a list of what you need from a partner, it is difficult find someone who is 18 and meets all of those requirements. I am a big advocate of making the list. For instance, in your case, you might be expected to write: A...

Lesbian Life: friendly or flirty?:((, everyday routine, poeple
everyday routine, poeple, both sexes: Hi Lee, It sounds like you are all very confused. Some people flirt with both sexes because they like the attention. Some people only flirt with someone they are specifically keen on. The only way to see if you are gay and indeed if she is, is to move...

Lesbian Life: Friends..maybe more?, t text, hidden agenda
t text, hidden agenda, being friends: Dear Reader, One thing I recommend that folks do is, create a side-by-side list labeled Wants on one column and Needs on the other. Given this situation, under wants, you might write: her name or a certain thing you wish you had from her like: Attention...

Lesbian Life: My girlfriend was gay, college teammate, inner feelings
college teammate, inner feelings, gay relationship: Hi Wyatt, Thanks for clarifing that and apologies I did not pick it up! Much of my advice regarding your girlfriend remains the same as she needs to fully identify and accept herself within first before she can make any relationship work full term. ...

Lesbian Life: A little issue.., erotic dreams, embarrassing problem
erotic dreams, embarrassing problem, sexual behavior: Hello there, Alexis having problems reaching an orgasm, is really frustrating in most lesbian relationship. In your case it could be 2 main reasons which I m going to explain. You said that you have dreams that a male specie is having sex with you.....

Lesbian Life: Ref: question, gender freedom, pembroke pines florida
gender freedom, pembroke pines florida, landmark study: Hi Sunil, Many thanks for your email. I receive this question a great deal from spouses who are struggling to understand why these things happen. I will disregard the issue of being born gay as this debate continues throughout the world... I believe...

Lesbian Life: How to tell my lesbian friend that I'm bi and I like her, lesbian relationship, lesbian friend
lesbian relationship, lesbian friend, girlfriend: Hi Megan, Thanks for your follow-up email. I believe that sexuality is fluid and it is about the person in your life at that time so I dont put a % on more guy or more girl. Your feelings are real to you at that time so go with them. If you feel your...

Lesbian Life: another one :)), girls school, self acceptance
girls school, self acceptance, short hair: Hi Lee, Much of this covered in my other email but I will say, it is not your choice if you are gay. So yes it is moral for you. I can work with your parents too on this issue if they have questions. As far as religion goes, you must accept yourself....

Lesbian Life: I cant talk to girls, good luck, worry
good luck, worry, girls: The only thing I know of that helps get over that is letting go of worry. You have to allow the idea that perhaps she doesn t but at the very least try. I do sometimes try and figure out if they are anti-gay or anything first. So, I would recommend just trying...

Lesbian Life: coming out, facebook, 9 months
facebook, 9 months, cues: I wouldn t tell your mom s at the same time in the same room. That could be dangerous. You see people tend to take cues from each other and if her mom starts saying it s wrong your mom might follow suit even if she wouldn t normally say that. It would be best...

Lesbian Life: I think I'm Lesbian., friend doesn, bisexuals
friend doesn, bisexuals, easiest thing: All I can tell you is that you should just try and be friends and figure life out. I understand that your hormones are probably going wonky right now but finding a girl to just experiment with is A) hard and B) not a good idea. Most girls get very emotionally...

Lesbian Life: Please help, bestfriend, dear friend
bestfriend, dear friend, time and space: Dear Friend, You... have told her! There is no need to tell her again. In my previous reply, I said: Be prepared for whatever the outcome. Now, it is your job to take two steps back. Her reaction of having, no reaction, is common. Sometimes, that s...

Lesbian Life: Trying to put it all together, courtship signals, alan pease
courtship signals, alan pease, eyebrow flash: Dear Friend, The fact that my previous reply to you, did not, directly, address your questions about whether or not she might be interested in you -- was completely intentional. You may not be aware of the transparency of your desire to be with her,...

Lesbian Life: Love life, old routine, sex life
old routine, sex life, love life: Hi Shelby Thank you for the question:) The best thing I can think of to do for you, is to send you to the following website: www.the-clitoris.com It is a fantastic website all about women, and has a few really good sections on sex and things to...

Lesbian Life: Help, fragile gift, intimate circle
fragile gift, intimate circle, sexual act: Dear Friend, Your partner sounds like a real gem. She has brought a difficult subject into the intimate circle between you, risking losing you, in defense of honesty. This is rare! Embrace it. This can be a real intimacy building exercise for the two...

Lesbian Life: I'm cheating, open relationship, one of my best friends
open relationship, one of my best friends, horrible person: Dear Friend, First, ask for some no-contact time away from the married woman. Let her know that you will be exploring your options and you do not yet know what will come of it. She is in an open relationship with her husband and has agreed to nothing...

Lesbian Life: From mentor to lover, soft butch, word answers
soft butch, word answers, asian country: Dear Friend, The idea that, older women like younger potential partners to take things slowly with them, sounds to me like one of many urban myths at best. At least I, have never heard of or witnessed this. Some people like to take the process of starting...

Lesbian Life: mixed feelings, mixed feelings, infidelities
mixed feelings, infidelities, trust issues: Dear Friend, Get honest with everyone, completely honest. Your husband, though you may not see eye to eye, deserves to be with someone who is completely devoted to him, mind, heart, spirit. Here is a website that most, previously married or hetero...

Lesbian Life: New relationship I am 10 years older..., recovering from alcoholism, alcohol consumption
recovering from alcoholism, alcohol consumption, obstacle course: Dear Friend, We hear about the Anthropological pre-disposition of women for nesting, I will never get used to the idea that so many women move-in with someone, without truly knowing one-another. I get so many letters about the difference between: The...

Lesbian Life: Don't know what to do!, negative attitude, spending time
negative attitude, spending time: I think if you love her you may want to stick through it. She needs you to be there for her. Try and cheer her up and be there. However, try not to let her see how upset you are because it might make her situation harder. On the other hand, if you don t love...

Lesbian Life: I feel like I'm losing her., literal sense, girlfriend
literal sense, girlfriend, courage: There is no definitive way to guarantee her staying with you. Have you let her know what you gave up for her? Perhaps try taking her out on a special date or writing her a letter. What most girls want is to be shown and proven to that they are special. Figure...

Lesbian Life: my GF is rejected by her adult son, eyes of god, adult kids
eyes of god, adult kids, guilty by association: I m not 100% sure what the question is. Sadly, it is not something you can affect the outcome of. You really should just try and give her moral support. Her son is probably going through a hard time of rectifying his religion with his mother s choices. I wish...

Lesbian Life: Help!, emotional feelings, emotional stability
emotional feelings, emotional stability, kelsey: Hello, I m sorry to tell you that this is a hard question to answer. Women can be very hard to read and understand. However, from what you have described, I don t think it s likely. She told you herself that she doesn t like you like that. And it is most...

Lesbian Life: Liking someone., dating a coworker, playful manner
dating a coworker, playful manner, head over heels: I think that you might want to try to move on. She sounds like she d make a great friend, but with they way she s been treating you she ll only hurt you in the end. She clearly knows you like her but is still messing with you. On the other hand, maybe she...

Lesbian Life: Question about ex-wife, short hair style, american man
short hair style, american man, having an affair: Dear Friend, I cannot even begin to address the subject of her sexual orientation or of her fidelity to you, without addressing the real issue here. My columns are often more focussed on telling you what you need to hear and less on, what you want...

Lesbian Life: Attraction worriess., porn scene, serious relationship
porn scene, serious relationship, emotional connection: I think it is fair to give her opportunity to get back with you. That is not a reason to end a relationship. If you really love each other then you should be together. Don t worry about what has happened or if she might reject you. You should try, because...

Lesbian Life: concern about younger girlfriend, sexual addict, sexual persuasion
sexual addict, sexual persuasion, relationship expert: The odds are your partner is not a compulsive sex addict. Everyone has a different sex drive and your partner is currently at her sexual peak. I am not an addiction expert but, I am a 19 year old and my girlfriend also has a significantly higher sex drive....

Lesbian Life: Confused-Need guidance, personnality, subtle suggestions
personnality, subtle suggestions, litterally: Well if you can make subtle suggestions or maybe ask her opinion on homosexuality. Depending on her response you can go from there and see if she likes you. Flirt like you have been eventually she ll figure out you like her. I hope this helps. Kelsey...

Lesbian Life: Crush, friend don, dear friend
friend don, dear friend, girlfriend: Dear Friend, Don t tell her how you feel. She s got a girlfriend. Let her finish with that business first, if she wants to. She may not want to. If you do talk to her, as a friend -- just ask her casually about her girlfriend. Then let her know that...

Lesbian Life: Cunnilingus, adult sites, vulva
adult sites, vulva, kelsey: Hello, This is an interesting question. From a female point of view sucking on the clit can hurt if done wrong. It is probably a better idea to lick. I know it might seem like a good idea to suck but unless you are very very careful you are more likely...

Lesbian Life: Don't know what to do anymore, permanent solutions, single reason
permanent solutions, single reason, 7 months: Dear Friend, You have someone to contend with, who gives permanent solutions to temporary problems. Either that, or she is playing games with you in an effort to conceal her real feelings or her real intentions. Dangerous, in either case. Do what you...

Lesbian Life: loving a married woman in 2012, ashley madison, curiosity killed the cat
ashley madison, curiosity killed the cat, harmful environment: Dear Friend, Dating a married woman can bring more pain and grief than anyone can possibly anticipate, as attested by the readers of: http://www.askjoanne.net/ (a website dedicated to married women and the women who love them). First, there is the suffering...

Lesbian Life: Please help me the best you can, rest of your life, kelsey
rest of your life, kelsey, spectacle: Get her alone. Say, Hi, I need to talk to you. That gets rid of your friends following you around. Second of all you can t know her answer for sure. Two years ago is a long time and things can change. Just pull her aside and tell her otherwise you will be...

Lesbian Life: Pregnancy, strs, pgm
strs, pgm, kelsey: The best answer is to tell her. You don t want to spring that kind of thing on her. If she isn t okay with it then she isn t the girl for you. But, she might surprise you. So try and let her decide what she wants. Before you make that decision to tell her...

Lesbian Life: Talking to girls, talking to girls, deep breath
talking to girls, deep breath, kelsey: Talking to girls is tough. You have to try and be their friends first though. Be friendly and nice and kind. Don t overanalyze your conversations. Just take a deep breath and realize that they are people too and not just there to be with. I tend to tell friends...

Lesbian Life: uncertain of our future, painful revelation, catholic christians
painful revelation, catholic christians, first few years: Your relationship sounds like its on rocky times. However, you both should be able to tell other people about your relationship. You are 44 years old and have been in a relationship for 14 years. Neither of you should be worried about your parents reactions....

Lesbian Life: break up, first girlfriend, parents friends
first girlfriend, parents friends, living hell: Your ex is going through a hard time. She wants to be herself and she wants to appease her parents as well. That is a very hard line to follow and she is having a very hard time. She is likely suppressing herself and going through hell right now. You, however,...

Lesbian Life: How do you know your lesbian, straight person, handsome man
straight person, handsome man, pretty woman: Calm down for one. Honestly, this isn t something you will figure out over night. Maybe consider what you think when you see a woman or a man. Don t be bogged down by terms like lesbian or straight. Try to think of sexuality without any outside influences....

Lesbian Life: Lesbophobia?, student support groups, queer student
student support groups, queer student, gay groups: Well on one hand, it could scare you because of any number of reasons. On the other, maybe she doesn t scare you so much as the feelings she brings up in you scare you. Try and talk to her if you get the chance. I know you said it scared you but maybe its...

Lesbian Life: Questioning, straight girls, third girl
straight girls, third girl, exaggeration: You are definitely not being obsessive. You are simply having a crush. However, you should try and only act within what makes them comfortable. Not all girls are willing to be treated like you want to treat them. You should definitely try to rein in the jealousy...

Lesbian Life: girl on girl crush gone wrong, girl crush, straight female
girl crush, straight female, girl on girl: Honestly, don t worry about it. She s angry because she can t get you and that s what she wants. Don t be afraid of seeking out other people or having friends. This girl sounds like an anomaly. Most homosexuals know that there are plenty of straight girls...

Lesbian Life: She left and now I'm beyond depressed, suicide hotlines, debbie downer
suicide hotlines, debbie downer, fish in the sea: Dear Friend, There are some very good reasons here, to seek counseling immediately. Most notably, the suicidal thoughts, but also the fact that the end of a long-term relationship is one of only a handful of life-altering events which bring about grief....

Lesbian Life: no sex, things have change, grown woman, kelsey
grown woman, kelsey, having sex: Your child should come first. If she can t handle that you have a daughter then you should consider breaking up. Your daughter needs you and your partner should respect that your daughter needs help going to sleep. If she can t wait the short period of time...

Lesbian Life: what should we do?, girl by my side, one of my best friends
girl by my side, one of my best friends, guy friends: First of all, it doesn t matter if you re gay or bi or pansexual. If you are happy then that is all that matters. Second of all, you really have a choice to make. On one hand you can take the chance and tell everyone. That would get it off your chest and make...

Lesbian Life: Lesbian but married...., lgbt folks, beautiful child
lgbt folks, beautiful child, dirty word: Dear Friend, To someone like myself, who has read numerous letters on this very subject and who is familiar with the vast number of other cases so similar to yours, it is peculiar to come across the phrase: I have a very straight family. Straight...

Lesbian Life: Life is sending me on a roller coster, dream girl, those eyes
dream girl, those eyes, sametime: Dear Friend, I don t see any reason to push away as you suggest, completely. The two of you have, at the very least, what sounds like a very sweet friendship. The only trouble is that, you, are being very impatient. Impatience is very common...

Lesbian Life: life is so unfair!., family relatives, religious meetings
family relatives, religious meetings, x girl: Dear Friend, Life is not as unfair as you seem to think. In my opinion, the hard times are just strength-building exercises for your emotional muscle. Very much in the way that weight-lifting is exercise for your physical muscles. The more weight you lift,...

Lesbian Life: Coming out, cookie cutter, replicas
cookie cutter, replicas, hesitation: Dear Riley, A lot can change, once you come out to loved ones. You will, of course, continue to be the same person you are now. But it is sometimes hard to get others to understand. They have to undergo their own process and this takes time. Sometimes,...

Lesbian Life: What should I do about my friend?, distant friend, wrong impression
distant friend, wrong impression, being friends: Dear Friend, She may be trying to act more like an acquaintance or a distant friend than, like a significant other. Trying not to give the wrong impression. You say, you are OK with being just friends, but deep down, you want more. If she were someone...

Lesbian Life: friend flirting with me?, reading signs, double entendre
reading signs, double entendre, target: Dear Friend, If you were to say that she is unaware of your crush on her and yet, she is standing close to you and giving you massages, then I might wonder, just for a moment. But she is 1) Doing these things in reaction to your overt display of blushing...

Lesbian Life: My GF has broken up with me, but says she still loves me., secondary factors, non existant
secondary factors, non existant, out of the blue: Dear Friend, Your girlfriend sounds confused. You will never figure her out, until she figures herself out. Perhaps she was uncertain to begin with and chose not to say anything about her uncertainty, until now. Now, as it turns out, is a difficult...

Lesbian Life: What to do next?, perfect woman, wasting my time
perfect woman, wasting my time, breathing space: Hi Vicky, Well done for doing the loving thing, you have exercised alot of patience. I think this person could benefit from some help, but from somebody qualified to do so. You shouldn t be baring such a responsibility. It s really nice that you want...

Lesbian Life: relationship fights/sex, cause arguments, emotional foundation
cause arguments, emotional foundation, inability to orgasm: Dear Friend, You surely are entitled to your feelings. Faking an orgasm mostly amounts to, plain old lying. Not only did your partner lie, she then discounted your feelings about it. She pretended that it is perfectly natural for her to deceive you and...

Lesbian Life: What to do??, lesbian experience, mutual friend
lesbian experience, mutual friend, separate ways: Dear Friend, Something I ve said before, applies here also: ...Definitely don t wait for her. If she wants to be with you, let her make that choice when she makes it. Unfortunately for her, you may be available or unavailable by the time she decides....

Lesbian Life: coming out?, different girl, guy friends
different girl, guy friends, writing a letter: Hi Alyssa, I was actually outed at my sisters 21st birthday 6 years ago, while i was scared I m actually rather grateful since i didn t have to brave it. Turns out nobody was bothered in the slightest but i understand what it can be like when it is a problem...

Lesbian Life: Confusion about my sexuality and relationship..., empty shell, friend amanda
empty shell, friend amanda, 5 months: Hey Sara, Firstly I apologise for my late reply, thank you for your message. It s not uncommon to be a little confused about your sexuality, even more so if you haven t had the experience, after all how do you know if you don t try right? Your boyfriend...

Lesbian Life: How to contact her?, club venue, facebook
club venue, facebook, local club: Hi Emma, Do you ever drop by the club/venue she works at? If not, it can t hurt. I quite often read a message on facebook while I m busy doing other things to, an attempt at procrastinating, but then get back into what I m supposed to be doing and completely...

Lesbian Life: feeling unimportant, public platform, facebook
public platform, facebook, valid reason: Hi there, Just a few little pointers for you... If you have certain expectations, expect at some point to be disappointed. Secondly, you re right ranting on facebook wasn t they greatest of move and never will be. Perhaps this girl had a perfectly valid...

Lesbian Life: Our Future, fairy tale, ups and downs
fairy tale, ups and downs, straight answer: Hi there, Bit of a sticky situation you re in there. Firstly though, you re not strange for not wanting children, not everybody does. The downside is that i don t think having children is something you can compromise on, the pull to have children can...

Lesbian Life: lesbian or experemental, dating a married man, new lover
dating a married man, new lover, good luck: Hiya, Just to clarify, you are dating a married man who is wanting his wife to come back to him? If this is correct, are you happy with being in that second best slot? As for the wife, I m pretty sure that she s happy with her new lover and she s...

Lesbian Life: is she playing me ?, kiss world, amazing kiss
kiss world, amazing kiss, letty: Nobody will know if mixed messages are being thrown around. Be open and honest and decide who and what you really want. Believe it or not you are sending mixed messages to, one minute you re telling her you don t care and the next you re chatting. If you...

Lesbian Life: reunion, romantic relationship, predicament
romantic relationship, predicament, dear friend: Dear Friend, You are in a difficult predicament, in many ways. Your friend may be reacting to a number of factors when she asks why you have called her? She may be feeling the pressures of society and misdirecting her frustration at you. Nonetheless,...

Lesbian Life: Will it work?, alarm bells, staying friends
alarm bells, staying friends, lesbian friends: Hi Andee, Sorry for my somewhat late reply. Firstly I d say that personally i don t have a huge problem with my partner staying friends with an ex but to be texting and calling all the time I d be a little uncomfortable with. Her having a toothbrush at...

Lesbian Life: Concerned about future, absolute disaster, silly arguments
absolute disaster, silly arguments, nothing works: Dear Friend, I don t think there is anything wrong with you, per se, although we all have temporary life issues to work through. There might, however, be something wrong with this relationship. For one thing, I am not reading that you communicated your,...

Lesbian Life: loving my straight friend, last thing at night, intimate conversation
last thing at night, intimate conversation, 2 girls: Dear Friend, Someone who has never had a relationship with a woman, may assume that it is similar to a relationship with a man. For instance, typically, jumping into a sexual act and then perhaps cuddling or having intimate conversation, afterward. She...

Lesbian Life: Rebuilding after an emotional affair, emotional affair, serious game
emotional affair, serious game, infidelity: Dear Friend, Please understand that, an affair (emotional or otherwise) is a serious game-ending, offense on many levels! I have said often, that the real damage of infidelity results less from the transgression itself and more from the lies and defiance...

Lesbian Life: Communication Issues, sex addict, having a great time
sex addict, having a great time, small concern: Hi:) Thank you for the question:) This is a tricky situation to be in, and there are several options, but these are just my opinions and you ultimately, need to do what is right for you. You mentioned later in the letter, that you are taking some time...

Lesbian Life: Doesn't have time for me, nice dinner, family time
nice dinner, family time, first response: Hi Nancy, Well, you can t make anyone want to spend time with you. She would have to want to spend time with you for that to happen. It sounds like she might want a family night out instead but it is possible to get her out with just the two of you....

Lesbian Life: Don't know where to turn, libido, partner doesn't want sex
libido, partner doesn't want sex, incompatible sex drives: Hello Amy, Thank you for your question. It sounds to me like you have been doing all you can to reach out to her, communicate, try and find out why she is treating you like this, and telling her how you feel. It is natural to feel unwanted, and un-sexy...

Lesbian Life: doubts about sexual orientation, am i lesbian, sexual orientation
am i lesbian, sexual orientation: Hello Lydia, Thank you, yes that helped clarify it a lot. I would say, you are most likely lesbian then. You in your heart know how you feel and to whom you are drawn to. About bisexuals being attracted to one sex and then it evolves. That could be...

Lesbian Life: my gf's straight bff is suddenly inlove with her, romantic feelings, overnight visits
romantic feelings, overnight visits, work part time: Hello again! :) Obviously, you don t want to go along with everything and you shouldn t and don t have to. You aren t happy and what s the point of life if it isn t happy? Never ignore your gut feelings-they are always right! You never want to be involved...

Lesbian Life: Intamacy with long term gf, long term relationship, intamacy
long term relationship, intamacy, romantic time: Hi Michelle, Welcome to comfortable, long term relationship land! :) Every relationship hits this point. Whether the relationship is gay or straight, after awhile, the sex becomes less frequent and a little more routine. that s when compatibility is truly...

Lesbian Life: Question, google search, smoking cigars
google search, smoking cigars, witch hunt: Hi Steve, I apologize for not writing a little earlier- I really wanted to think over your situation before responding. First I will say, while maybe not the most adult thing or respectable thing to do in desperate situations, it is completely normal...

Lesbian Life: Talked to crush on fb, now she's ignoring my messages :/, long term relationship, curious creatures
long term relationship, curious creatures, shy person: Hello, Well, I had a nice, long response written for you and my computer decided to erase it. Grrr... Anyway, girls are curious creatures. :) There are a lot of factors for why this girl hasn t emailed you but the bottom line is, I don t think she s...

Lesbian Life: Is it me?, elderly parent, adult kids
elderly parent, adult kids, family vacations: Hi Sarah, Well, I think you are very justified with your feelings. It has been three years, that makes you all family. Family vacations shouldn t exclude anyone, no matter how close certain family members are. I would be upset and my feelings would be hurt...

Lesbian Life: Re: how to move on after almost a year
Dear Friend, Your main reason for writing this letter was to ask: The best way to let go and let go for good? Although, I feel much more inclined to provide guidance on how to abstain from such relationships in the first place -- a relationship that...

Lesbian Life: Love or Lust?
Hello Allegra, Your situation sounds exactly like my very first relationship. We lived 3.5 hours apart. It was difficult but we really cared about each other so we made it work. I was the first to say I love you . She was overseas for a few months for...

Lesbian Life: How to meet/become friends with other lesbians
Hi Steph Thank you for the question:) Because social media has taken off in such an explosive manner, I thought I would suggest having a look on Facebook for any groups you could possibly join? Perhaps using Google as a start point. A lot of pages, if...

Lesbian Life: She won't let me kiss her
Hi Darcy, You could tell her you want to break up but would like to stay friends. Honestly, it doesn t really sound like she sees you as a couple so you might not even need to say anything about breaking up. Just stop trying to kiss her or touch her and...

Lesbian Life: Do I still love my ex girlfriend
Lesbian Life: Do I still love my ex girlfriend

Lesbian Life: Do I still love my ex girlfriend
Hi Jeny, I have felt the way you do many times so I hope I can be some help to you. When you are in a relationship and love someone, you still love that person even after the relationship ends. You just love them in a different way. They always have...

Lesbian Life: crush or friendly, natural hair color, acting this way
natural hair color, acting this way, special effort: Hi Jessica, Well, it sounds like she might be interested but she could also just be friendly. What I would do is make an effort to go to the store a few more times (be brave) and be in her line and make conversation with her. This will help you to gauge...

Lesbian Life: Just friendly or not, physical relationship, friend guy
physical relationship, friend guy, friend of a friend: Hi Violet, I ve witnessed this situation quite a bit. The first thing I would ask is whether or not you find yourself attracted to her or are you strictly into men? It s hard to say if she is interested in you. I would say yes but some women are just really...

Lesbian Life: girl freind, girl freind, esther perel
girl freind, esther perel, long term relationships: Hello deborah, That is a very complicated question, that I can t answer. The best thing would be to talk to her and find out why she is feeling this way. maybe she is depressed and needs medical help? Maybe she has lost the flame in the relationship....

Lesbian Life: Hard break-up, chemo, final decision
chemo, final decision, family members: Hi Kerry, Text isn t really the ideal way to talk to an ex. You should have talked about things in person. Yes, it s hard but it is the best way becaise you can t run away from answering a question or be vague with a response. And, body language is always...

Lesbian Life: Long Distance Relationship, long distance relationship, distance relationships
long distance relationship, distance relationships, 5 months: Hi Peiton, I really can t say whether or not your relationship will make it through as you didn t elaborate more on your situation. I don t know how far apart you are or if you get to see each other occasionally and if it is a temporary or permanent situation....

Lesbian Life: doesnt want to lose her for good., amazing years, arguement
amazing years, arguement, face value: Hi Heather, Sorry for the delay-I wanted to take some time to think about your situation before I answered. The most important part of your situation is that you need to listen to what your ex is telling you. It is difficult to actually hear what your...

Lesbian Life: Feeling Normal, acceptable public behavior, alcohol dependence
acceptable public behavior, alcohol dependence, social interaction: Dear Friend, Though I am not an expert on the subject of alcoholism, I will provide the following link regarding Alcohol Dependence alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/symptoms.htm And I will attempt to answer based on what I do know. Fifty percent...

Lesbian Life: The Letter, first break, ptsd
first break, ptsd, breakdowns: Dear Friend, The best we can do, in any situation in life, is to decide how to approach a specific situation and then detach ourselves from the outcome. This means that, we must know in our hearts that we have no control over what happens in the world around...

Lesbian Life: Lost and alone, unstable childhood, adult relationship
unstable childhood, adult relationship, family of origin: Dear Friend, The romantic partners we choose, always represent some or all qualities that we found in parental figures growing up. The rest of your life is then spent trying to resolve those issues which you could not resolve in your family of origin....

Lesbian Life: Need to fix this, two different places, stressful job
two different places, stressful job, best bet: Hi there, Yes! Absolutely! Give her space and time. From my own personal experiences and what I have witnessed of other people s relationships, giving someone time is the best thing you can do if you want an ex to take you back. Now, be aware, it is possible...

Lesbian Life: relationship, new lady, rescuer
new lady, rescuer, lack of communication: Dear Friend, The two of you need to talk. Your relationship is still very new. The ex is not the problem, but the lack of communication between the two of you, must be addressed. It strikes me as odd that, although you do not need rescuing, you describe...

Lesbian Life: Relationship help, long and happy life, mild stroke
long and happy life, mild stroke, earth angel: Hi Devin, First, my sympathies for your health issues. I can t imagine how difficult it must be to be that sick at such a young age. I you nothing but good health and a long and happy life. I don t think you need to do anything different than what you...

Lesbian Life: Wife gay?, gay friends, meanness
gay friends, meanness, having a baby: Dear Friend, www.ssnetwk.org -- is a network for the spouses of gays and lesbians. Avail yourself of some on-going support from this group of individuals who have been through exactly what you are up against, right now. That is your next, best move....

Lesbian Life: She approached me, but now she never has time to hang out, dating game, significant others
dating game, significant others, playing games: Hello, Well, I see this woman doing one of two things- either she is playing games with you or she is super shy. My guess is games but who knows. :) It is possible she is super busy but still, she would find a way to squeeze you in there somewhere. It...

Lesbian Life: not friends first, golden eggs, question pool
golden eggs, question pool, platonic friend: Dear Friend, Having the answer to that question, would be akin to finding the goose that lay the golden eggs. I think that if I attempt it and succeed, I will be offered the position of White House psychic. But I digress. I guess, what you are asking...

Lesbian Life: help talking to my son, human rights campaign, lgbt organizations
human rights campaign, lgbt organizations, adult relationships: Dear Friend, It is sad to hear that your son s father has such a history and might not be a part of his boy s life. On the matter of coming out to your child - I subscribe to the belief that: When children ask, it means that they are ready to know....

Lesbian Life: getting over hurdles in a new lesbian relationship, lesbian relationship, relationship issues
lesbian relationship, relationship issues, easy answers: Hello Morgan, That is a tough question. I usually answer questions about sex in a relationship, not the relationship itself. If you are inexperienced, it is probably hard for you to not feel more needy than her, and to want to have verbal affirmations,...

Lesbian Life: marriage, lesbian relationship, ask joanne
lesbian relationship, ask joanne, lesbian relationships: Dear Friend, First -- know that you are not alone. Please visit this link - http://www.askjoanne.net Via this website avail yourself of as much support as possible. The support is the most basic next level you should seek. On the Ask Joanne web-page,...

Lesbian Life: I need some advise.., puppy love, living in canada
puppy love, living in canada, cute things: Hi Sydney, Well, it certainly sounds like the real deal and not puppy love. It s really a tough situation to be in- a situation that the majority of gay people have been in at some point in their life. You really need to take care of your feelings and...

Lesbian Life: Sex Therapy, sex therapy
sex therapy: Hello J., Thank you for your question. Regarding therapy, it would be a last chance effort to try to make things work out between you two. So, if you feel that you have exhausted all other areas, and she still will not communicate with you about it,...

Lesbian Life: terrible mistake, age gap, oriantation
age gap, oriantation, wits end: Hi Samantha, To start, don t beat yourself up. You re human and we all make mistakes. While it is a bit of an embarassing situation, you and your instructor are the only people in your classes who know about it so don t stress over it too much. The...

Lesbian Life: terrible mistake, mature age student, female lecturer
mature age student, female lecturer, desperate fool: Dear Friend, When I read your letter, this article about knowing when you are in-love, came to mind, here is the link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-stay-sane/201304/how-do-you-know-when-you-are-in-love If you like her, you did the right...

Lesbian Life: test, e mail address, eastern standard time
e mail address, eastern standard time, embarassing situation: Hi Samantha, It puts you in a difficult situation that she will play such a big role for the rest of your academic career. Your situation really depends on her personality at this point. If she is the type of person that can put this whole thing behind...

Lesbian Life: Bi but there's a problem, straight sex, sexual identity
straight sex, sexual identity, weird thing: Hi Tammy, I guess the first thing I would tell you is to not worry about how to label yourself. Labels are more for other people than yourself. It sounds like you want to be with women, at least for right now. You should have a very long and open talk...

Lesbian Life: Hot and cold?, true friend, affections
true friend, affections, playing games: Hi Alison, You should be very careful of people who run hot and cold. They will always hurt you. It sounds like she is playing games. A true friend, someone who really cares about you, would understand that you couldn t respond to messages. Someone...

Lesbian Life: lesbian relationship, lesbian relationship, own time
lesbian relationship, own time, june 21: Hi Kenya, Patience my dear, patience. People come out to others on their own time and when they are ready to do it. Pressuring her to come out to her family will ruin your relationship and adds stress to her that she doesn t need. She probably already feels...

Lesbian Life: Mixed Signals., touchy feely, being a good friend
touchy feely, being a good friend, rocky spot: Hi there, Well, your situation sounds a lot like one I have witnessed many times. My advice to you would be to run for the hills!!! :) Girls like this tend to jump from one warm body to another and just use people until the next one comes along. She...

Lesbian Life: We like each other but we're both taken!, good luck with everything, single thing
good luck with everything, single thing, do the right thing: Hi Angela, I think you know (deep down) what you should do in your situation. It sounds like you both have already let go of your girlfriends and are focused on each other. It is only fair to your girlfriend for you to come clean about this other girl and...

Lesbian Life: Questioning & Frustrated, long term relationship, fabulous children
long term relationship, fabulous children, gay bars: Hi Morena, What you are feeling is very common so don t feel alone with all of this. Maybe you want to be in a relationship with a woman, maybe you don t and that s okay. I would recommend for you to go on a few dates with women and feel out the situation....

Lesbian Life: re terrible mistake, deep feelings, private room
deep feelings, private room, weirdo: Dear Friend, It is hard to claim, with any degree of certainty, that I or anyone else, can know the answer at this juncture. In fact, I have known many cases, in particular, at the questioning stage of coming out #to themselves#, when the women who may...

Lesbian Life: "Should I ? or Shouldn't I ?", secret relationship, personal relationships
secret relationship, personal relationships, begining: Hi Melanie, Quite honestly, I would leave your professor alone. There are almost always rules in place about professors and students having personal relationships. As you said, you don t want to risk her job and you could also face disciplinary action....

Lesbian Life: Should I still proceed?, sexual beings, gut feeling
sexual beings, gut feeling, inkling: Dear Friend, If you are getting a gut-feeling like you might be a nuisance to her, don t ignore it. Our gut, is usually so much wiser than our brain. But, more importantly - humans are sexual beings and we are programmed to seek a mate. So, when...

Lesbian Life: What should I do?, being friends, good friends
being friends, good friends, good friend: Hello, Well, you are very understandably scared to be hurt again after your experience with your friend but not everyone is like her. You can t spend your whole life scared to ask someone out or tell them how you feel because someone in your past thought...

Lesbian Life: Does she like me?, bras and panties, pet names
bras and panties, pet names, family sex: Hi Tiffany, Well, first I would say that you need to take what this girl said to you at face value- she doesn t see the two of you in a relationship. The thing is, if someone wants to be with you (romantically), they will be with you. There is no confusion...

Lesbian Life: How to ask her out?, hi chris, few suggestions
hi chris, few suggestions, computer lab: Hi Chris, There are a number of ways you can approach this situation-it just depends on your comfort level. I have found the best way to ask someone out is a casual face-to-face asking. If you find yourself having a conversation with her again, go for...

Lesbian Life: Girlfriend troubles, long distance relationship, physical intimacy
long distance relationship, physical intimacy, first girlfriend: Hello, It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you want and what you need to do. I ve been in a similar situation and I think you are doing the right thing. I had an ex who also liked men and would break-up with me a couple...

Lesbian Life: me, same sex relationships, love life
same sex relationships, love life, own business: Hi Claire, It is your life and your happiness so no, you don t have to tell your family about your love life. What happens in your love life is your own business and no one else s. You are your own person and this is your life. You need to follow your heart...

Lesbian Life: What to do..., strict upbringing, mom dad
strict upbringing, mom dad, birthday march: Hi Sasha, Let s see... 1. Your relationship should be okay but there is potential there for problems. Seeing each other every day to only a few times a week will take a little getting used to but as long as you both put in the effort to keep communication...

Lesbian Life: Expertise, picking up chicks, steriotype
picking up chicks, steriotype, straight women: Hi James, Well, I think the common ground you are looking for would be checking out women and the interest in dating women. That is my experience at least. However, the bigger common ground I experience with my male friends is no different than my common...

Lesbian Life: Wasted years and false hopes?, ups and downs, false hopes
ups and downs, false hopes, look in her eyes: Dear Friend, Years dedicated to loving another unconditionally, is not exactly what I would call, wasted time. True love is a magical experience and you are lucky to have partaken in it. What I think that your special one might not realize, is that...

Lesbian Life: Is she bi?
Hi Jenny, From reading your question, my gut instinct is that she is interested in you but you work together and you have a guy so she probably doesn t want to say anything. I can t say whether she is a lesbian or bi but I would say she is interested in...

Lesbian Life: What to do?
Lesbian Life: What to do?

Lesbian Life: My fiance loves me but doesn't like that I'm fat.
Hello, First of all, don t beat yourself up for not being completely honest about what you looked like when you first started talking to your significant other. Most people don t start off with the truth when they meet someone online and you did eventually...

Lesbian Life: Stupid college crushes
Hello, You sound just like me when I was in college. I had lots of crushes that always went nowhere and when someone did like me, I had no clue. Everyone over thinks things when it comes to crushes so don t beat yourself up too much. It sounds like...

Lesbian Life: What to do?
Hi Mary, You sound like a very reasonable and loving parent. I m not really sure what I would do in your situation. Do you know anything about this girl? Is she a good person or will she be a bad influence on your daughter? Thinking it over now, I guess...

Lesbian Life: Not quite over her....
Hi Steph, Your situation sounds exactly like a situation I had with one of my exes so I m going to use that situation to try and help you out with your situation. It is very normal to miss the friendship you had with an ex. Sometimes, the missed friendship...

Lesbian Life: confused about relationship
Dear Friend, She has spoken. Granted, in much fewer words than you expected, but what she has said is that: She simply does not feel the same way about you, as you feel about her. She may be hiding her dreadful truth about her fear of being alone, dying...

Lesbian Life: confused about relationship
Hi AnnMarie, thank you for coming to me. I appreciate the position you are in! It is not an easy one. 12 years is a fair whack of your life, that you have spent together. In all honesty though, if she is being mean and nasty to you, and still wanting...

Lesbian Life: confused about relationship
Lesbian Life: confused about relationship

Lesbian Life: Is it ok to ask?
Dear Friend, There are varying opinions on this matter. I can only give you my own, personal take which is -- people are connected at the soul level and within the recesses of that deep, deep place -- there is no orientation or gender or choice...

Lesbian Life: A Little Confused...
Hi William, I read your questions and gave them some thought. 1. I would say that she hugged you because she was happy to see you. It doesn t sound like there was any romantic intent behind the hugs-just a person happy to reconnect with an old friend....

Lesbian Life: I don't know how to do this
Hi Hayley, A good place to start would be your college s lgbt group. I know you re pretty busy but it really is a great place to meet people, talk to other people going through the same things as you, and to meet people and date. I was the president of...

Lesbian Life: Not Sure If I am A Lesbian or Not
Hi Holly, Your situation sounds a lot like what I went through when I was your age. I felt the same about guys and girls as you do now. I ended up finding that I am a lesbian, but that doesn t mean that you are. You are young so it s okay for you to get...

Lesbian Life: 25~Time for a 1/4 life crisis?, heterosexual relationships, sexual aspect
heterosexual relationships, sexual aspect, sexual relationships: Hi Sarah, Your last line of because I think I have alot to offer is the greatest thing I ve read from you. I m so glad that you realize that! This is a scary time for a lot of people, and I will still be here for you if you want to chat or just want...

Lesbian Life: 28year daughter just told me she has feelings for a woman, homecoming day, paternity tests
homecoming day, paternity tests, gay thing: Hi Guess what? You are exactly right. You could not have said it any better. Forget about any guy or girl. When she comes home it should be about her son. He is important. Furthermore I dont think it is fair for her to have any NEW man or woman around her...

Lesbian Life: 3 year relationship over, but the feelings are still there, communication issue, broken heart
communication issue, broken heart, wonderful person: Hi Marisa, I wish there was a checklist that people could read to make themselves move on, but life isn t that simple. You mentioned that she just wants to be friends , which leads me to believe that this is her idea, and not yours. That in itself can...

Lesbian Life: 36 in first love rel w grl, constructive critisism, intimacy issues
constructive critisism, intimacy issues, true intimacy: Of course this is all to be expected, but you cannot let it interfere with your relationship...which is exactly what you are doing. You should treat this relationship like it is brand new...stop the worrying because if you do not give it a chance when you...

Lesbian Life: 3sums??, work circumstances, having a threesome
work circumstances, having a threesome, true compassion: Easy be honest and explain it s just a fantasy that you have not something you want to interfere with your relationship with her, but a little spice before the wedding. Honesty is the best way to get results. Just make sure you show true compassion when speaking...

Lesbian Life: 3sums??, work circumstances, having a threesome
work circumstances, having a threesome, negative feedback: Dear Damien, To bring up the topic about a three sum, ASK her if she wants to try something new sexually in your relationship. Do you remember when we discussed having a three sum a while back? Maybe that would be fun to try. Why don t you think about...

Lesbian Life: 3sums??, having a threesome, work circumstances
having a threesome, work circumstances, thoughts and feelings: If the subject wasn t a problem back then why is it a problem now? Is it because she hasn t brought it up since then? I don t think you should worry too much about it, my dear. I suggest the subtle approach at first. Leave reference material lying around...

Lesbian Life: Accepting Myself, gays and lesbians, close friends
gays and lesbians, close friends, outcast: Hi Nicole, thanks for getting back to me. Phew, your in a bit of pickle! In no way am i going to suggest you come out ok? I dont think that is the solution here at all, nor do i think you are in any place mentally, to handle that. Not for a long time...

Lesbian Life: Adoption by Gays and Lesbians, gays and lesbians, artificial insemination
gays and lesbians, artificial insemination, divorce rate: Hi Rob, hopefully I can answer a few of your questions...but im not an expert on this I just know what ive personally been told. ok to answer your questions..1) maninly because people still view gays and lesbians as something we chose to do and because of...

Lesbian Life: Advice, self hope, adult advice
self hope, adult advice, punches: Hmm, Well based on what you are telling me she could just be really nice. Some people touch others but do not mean anything by them. ITs hard to tell. I don t want to say that she likes you if she doesn t or she doesn t like you if she do.. However, you...

Lesbian Life: Alaska Same Sex rights, alaska constitution, same sex relationship
alaska constitution, same sex relationship, same sex relationships: Hi Mai, Here is what I found so far: STATUTE Same-sex marriages (a) A marriage entered into by persons of the same sex, either under common law or under statute, that is recognized by another state or foreign jurisdiction is void in this state, and...

Lesbian Life: Alcoholism and BiPolar disorder, bi polar disorder, diagnosis methods
bi polar disorder, diagnosis methods, smell alcohol: I d say three or four a day is excessive. Not extreme but definitely not healthy. Then again, if she is in a depressive cycle it probably makes her feel better. Again, speculation as would also be assuming the breakup could be related to her BD because we...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's fears, social stigmas, physical relationships
social stigmas, physical relationships, physical relationship: Hey Allyn!! I ve wondered how you were doing! I am sorry it took me a couple days to answer...I am coming down the other side of the hill after the most hellacious work crisis I ve had in ten years. I have been working 70 to 80 hours per week for almost...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's first time being lesbian in public, female cousin, power of attorney
female cousin, power of attorney, living expenses: Allyn, I hope you don t get tired of hearing me say this, or think that I am just trying to mollify you, but everything you are feeling right now is very normal, and I promise, much of it will pass. Insecurity about yourself and your body will take much longer...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's journey, suicide support group, social insecurities
suicide support group, social insecurities, hazardous chemicals: Hi Allyn, It really is good to hear from you again, though I wish it were for better reasons. I m sorry to hear that you aren t feeling any better about yourself. I was hoping that having the new apartment would help some. Allyn, one the the best things...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's life, docile creature, insurance reasons
docile creature, insurance reasons, chief complaints: Nope, I am right here...I went on vacation for a few days, but I try to get right back on. What did you end up telling your mom? Have you ever thought about taking your mom to a PFLAG meeting? It sounds like she is open to hearing what you want to say,...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's life, living proof ministries, eternal consequences
living proof ministries, eternal consequences, lesbian lifestyle: Hi Allyn...no, no, you are NOT driving me crazy at all...remember, I have been where you are, so I understand so much of what is going through you. And yes, I also know of and about Beth Moore. I believe she is probably one of those people who sincerely...

Lesbian Life: Allyn: live and learn, sexual harassment policy, fortune 500 company
sexual harassment policy, fortune 500 company, discrimination policy: Hi Allyn, This woman at work sounds like she may be a good person to come out to when you are ready. It is something that gets a TINY bit easier every time you do it. Here is the problem that people like you and I have. We spend SOOOO many years feeling...

Lesbian Life: Allyn and Ms WRONG!, abusive stepfather, foster parents
abusive stepfather, foster parents, skin crawl: Wow! What a day! My gosh, Allyn! You need a vacation! Preferably an Olivia cruise! (For one thing, only women who have jobs and actually budget their money can afford them, and most of the women are pretty normal . I probably show my prejudices when...

Lesbian Life: Allyn's problem, girl at the end of the bar, straight friends
girl at the end of the bar, straight friends, sound booth: Sounds like a great first foray to me! Here are the positives I found: 1) You got to admit to someone you used to work with that you are gay. It might have been uncomfortable at the time, but it does get easier every time. 2) You got a chance to...

Lesbian Life: I, Allyn, have a problem, chinese place, love children
chinese place, love children, resturaunt: Hi Allyn, First of all, of course you are upset...I think I would be too. You had all your hopes up, and first they were kind of diminished when you got there and found that you weren t quite as attracted to her as you thought you would be, and then she...

Lesbian Life: Allyn: a small victory, public embarrassment, small victory
public embarrassment, small victory, voice mails: Woohoo! Way to go Allyn! That is GREAT! I am so glad that you took care of Angie AND your relatives. People are very funny creatures...they treat the nicest (as in would never ask you to stop calling etc) people the worst, and the ones who are firm about...

Lesbian Life: Allyn: stress, cruise to the bahamas, vacation cruise
cruise to the bahamas, vacation cruise, lesbian world: I think the plan for the Women s Music Festival is a GREAT one...my partner went years and years ago, but she still has some very good memories of it. I will say, though, just in case you had not heard this--it is somewhat clothing optional. Not so much...

Lesbian Life: Attracted to another woman, computer difficulties, thanks for your patience
computer difficulties, thanks for your patience, having computer: I apologize for the delay in replying to your question. I m having computer difficulties and I m working on it. Thanks for your patience. I understand your confusion, my dear. It s a pretty scary thing and you probably have no idea how to deal with it....

Lesbian Life: Attracted to two women--my girlfriend and a married woman, transferring colleges, homosexual relationships
transferring colleges, homosexual relationships, sexual aspects: Hi Heather, That s quite the spot you ve gotten yourself into. What was it in the first place that got you into cheating? It just makes me wonder if you ever had strong feelings for your girlfriend. What is it that this woman does for you that being with...

Lesbian Life: Attraction, physical attractiveness, physical qualities
physical attractiveness, physical qualities, heterosexual male: Hi James, I truly believe that attraction works the same way for everyone. Men become attracted to woman based on physical qualities or personality. It woman find men the same way too. It s also the same case for lesbians. We all fall for people who...

Lesbian Life: adoption, old baby girl, having trouble finding information
old baby girl, having trouble finding information, month old baby: http://adoption.about.com/od/gaylesbian/ss/gh ttp://adoption.about.com/od/gaylesbian/a/gayadoptissues.htmayadopt101.htm http://www.adopthelp.com/alternativeadoptions/alternatives2.html try these 3 spots I have found giving some information. The third...

Lesbian Life: adult children, fundamentalist christians, gay relationship
fundamentalist christians, gay relationship, helpful materials: Hi Terri, thanks for writing to me. Unfortunately, you are both in the reverse position of the usual person who writes to me. Usually it is a child risking alienation from the parent...but the opposite is also very often true. There is no sure way to...

Lesbian Life: anal sex, random sex, sex at home
random sex, sex at home, sexual problem: Hey Derek, thanks for coming back to me:)) There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of when having anal sex ok? Its perfectly understandable to be nervous, and you need to make very sure that your girlfriend takes her time and doesnt rush anything with...

Lesbian Life: answer, pain kim, answer question
pain kim, answer question, stupid thing: No one on this board has ever said I couldn t maintain a running conversation, so as far as I know...this is not against any rule. Nor should it be!! Kim, you have been hurt far more than enough for any possible transgressions...it is time to start...

Lesbian Life: how should i approach her, heart pounds, passing phase
heart pounds, passing phase, girls school: Hi Shania thanks for the questions. Well, first off, its a worry that you say this girl is the only thing keeping you from being heterosexual. Being a lesbian isnt about stopping you from being straight! ITs about wanting to be with a woman because being...

Lesbian Life: Balancing a long term relationship and frienships without jealousy, long term relationship, grief process
long term relationship, grief process, frienships: I m sure I can give you some clarity but you probably won t like what I have to say. Basically you have a decision to make that you re avoiding by throwing in a lot of complications. Are you or are you not committed to the relationship you re in with this...

Lesbian Life: Best Friend or Maybe More??, sweet pea, business trip
sweet pea, business trip, middle aged: Hi Kim... This one sounds just like the straight woman I fell in love with. The one that made me realize there was no way I could deny any longer that I was a lesbian...the emails, the tone, everything sound just like this friend I had. I am sure to this...

Lesbian Life: Best friend?, touchy feely, friend claire
touchy feely, friend claire, camels: hi Debbie, thanks for the question:) Well, it could just be as innocent as friendship, BUT, it could also be that she is confused about what she wants as well. It might be a good idea to try and talk to her about it. Its important that you make your feelings...

Lesbian Life: BIGGEST DECISION OF MY LIFE, hotts, luckiest woman
hotts, luckiest woman, optomistic: Dear Karen, Oh my, in my opinion 2 weeks with this girl is not enough to make a desicion. I know you are running out of time fast, but as you said you could make the wrong decision and it would ruin your life. I m so sorry, but i cannot really give you...

Lesbian Life: Bi Sexual rejection, first sexual experiences, sexual rejection
first sexual experiences, sexual rejection, family memebers: Hi, I understand your concern and you will learn on your own time, unfortunatly when you do you will very upset that you haven t done so sooner. Its not fun being in the closet or just staying that way because you dont want to loose the ones you love but...

Lesbian Life: Bi-sexual, first lesbian sex, feminine women
first lesbian sex, feminine women, masculine women: Hi. sorry but this girl in my world is full of shit. She is clearly going back and fourth with you. It was ok for her to sleep with you and love you behine her boyfriends back, now all of the sudden she is SO CONCERNED with his feelings and because you...

Lesbian Life: Bickering, abandonment issues, intelligence level
abandonment issues, intelligence level, first three months: Lol, well I guess I don t mind you wanting to speak of her. No need for apologies though, that s what I m here for and believe me that s not rambling (to me anyways, I ve had worse) There is no real solution to the issue. She is built how she is and there...

Lesbian Life: Bisexual and confused women need not apply, household bills, previous partners
household bills, previous partners, angry all the time: I think continuing to play a role in the boy s life is important for both of you. There are ways to arrange to see him or take him out for a while without having to face her and the emotional roller-coaster. Have her leave him with someone else and pick him...

Lesbian Life: Bisexual women, bone of contention, gay women
bone of contention, gay women, bisexual women: Hi Jayne, thanks for coming to me. Firstly, people are people:) we are who we are, and no one can change that agreed? Secondly, no you are not being unreasonable, because this is something that is affecting you. Trouble is, are you going to let this...

Lesbian Life: Blood, Sweat & Tears..., blood sweat tears, guilt trips
blood sweat tears, guilt trips, blame game: Dear Shana, The best thing to do is keep in mind that your girlfriend does what she does because she cant help it. Always think of this when you two get into something. Calmly explain to your gf when she blames you for something that you didn t do what...

Lesbian Life: My Book, lesbian couple, heartache
lesbian couple, heartache, best of luck: Hi Anastasia, thanks for considering me for this. Unfortunately, i would have to say that i decline this time round. What i get told and asked remains between me and the people involved and i would hate to have someone recognise something they have asked...

Lesbian Life: Book suggestions, book suggestions, gay friend
book suggestions, gay friend, sex scenes: Hi Steve, THis is the first question of 1000 that I have had like this. I am sorry but I have never read of GLBT book. I don t know if thats a good thing being gay myself... However you can check amazon.com. I use that website for everything and once you...

Lesbian Life: My Book, romantic notions, material thanks
romantic notions, material thanks, going shopping: Hi How are you. Thanks for the compliment. I have a twin and since our names are similiar my mother just gave me kk. So i have gotten used to that. Sometimes i forget my name is kamilah. Well since you werent specific, i guess i wont be specific. Besides...

Lesbian Life: Breaking up is hard to do, but we are already broke, begining, phone service
begining, phone service, grandmother: I would say you have two options, my dear. You can continue the process of leaving and move on or you can accept that she is who she is and she will most likely never change. You must ask yourself whether or not you can accept her, knowing what she s like,...

Lesbian Life: "You Brought A Guy?" Redux....., dinner drinks, new girlfriend
dinner drinks, new girlfriend, maenad: I can see that you re a thinker, Marc. I don t see that as necessarily a good thing, though. Often times people who are thinkers tend to think so much they end up immobilized. Rather than ponder what it all means, or might mean, or what she may or may not...

Lesbian Life: backtracking (12/5/07) follow up, day before christmas, mutual friend
day before christmas, mutual friend, guy friends: I wouldve thought the same things...so the only one who is crazy...or should we say in DENIAL...would be her...I would stay away as it has only led to BS on and on. If she starts to feel differently she will talk to you. If she is completely honest about....and...

Lesbian Life: backtracking...what to do?, selfish person, mutual friends
selfish person, mutual friends, dazed and confused: With the little information you have given me to work with, I would tell you that you need to do exactly what you started off doing in the first place. She is too immature to handle this as she obviously has shown you and totally disrespected you when she...

Lesbian Life: am I a bad daughter?, seven months, respite from
seven months, respite from, fallout: I think you already know where it s heading, Sonja, and you re just trying to avoid accepting it. It s sad that your parents are so set against your happiness but that s the reality of the matter. Going behind their back may give you some respite from the...

Lesbian Life: bad holiday visit, intense anger, holiday family
intense anger, holiday family, lgbt community: Hi Kate, thanks for coming to me. Sorry to hear you had a hard time on your holiday. I have a few questions for you first if thats ok? 1. Are you open about your sexuality with your family and wider friends? 2. Do you live near your family as...

Lesbian Life: best friend, sexual frustrations, closest friend
sexual frustrations, closest friend, first kiss: I don t know that I can be of much help but I will try my best. I have never had experience with this except when I first got involved with my best friend who asked me to teach her how to kiss... french Once we started, we didn t stop. I was just up front...

Lesbian Life: My best friend, things happen all the time, bottle of wine
things happen all the time, bottle of wine, car keys: Kerry, it isn t sick of you to have fallen for someone who makes you feel good about yourself. It isn t sick for you to let your heart feel...but of course once it does we have the risk of also hurting for a while. It might very well be that this is no...

Lesbian Life: My best friend, heartbreak affair, first timer
heartbreak affair, first timer, new experiences: Hi kerry, I would say that if you are both aware of the risks of the heart, and you have both decided to move forward in spite of those risks, that it is a pretty good bet that it is going to go there . :) The best piece of advice I can give a first-timer...

Lesbian Life: me and my best friend reloaded, gorgeous friend, e mail
gorgeous friend, e mail, vicky: Hey Suzie, good to hear from you:) Good luck with your talk, if you havnt already gone through it yet;) Just remember to be as honest as you can, and to listen to what she has to say as well. Take into account your feelings and what you want, and remember...

Lesbian Life: me and my best friend, drunken night, best girl
drunken night, best girl, walking home: Hi Suzie, thanks for the question. Sorry for not getting to you sooner, i have been away. I think that you should talk to your friend, and let her know how you feel about her. Perhaps asking her first, how she feels about you? If you get a positive...

Lesbian Life: am i bi or just curious?, thinking about women, gay venues
thinking about women, gay venues, sex with women: Hi Claire, thanks for coming to me:) Well, i think your boyfriend is right. You do need to find out whether or not you are bi or straight or gay. This is a lot easier said than done though. firstly, in all fairness, it would probably be a wise thing,...

Lesbian Life: being bi (going to high school), ear to the ground, classmates
ear to the ground, classmates, bullies: Hi Selen, thanks for coming to me. I dont think school has changed all that much since i went, and in saying that, there were only ever a few ways i found out if anyone was gay or not. Basically you need to keep your ear to the ground and listen to your...

Lesbian Life: Am I bi or just going through a series of phases?, hiv test, mind time
hiv test, mind time, gay health: HI Martha, Hey, YOu didnt left much for me to go by. So i will have to be general with my answer. Anyway, so are you saying that you dated a female and male before? When you are with one and crave the other, that means that you are possibly bisexual. ...

Lesbian Life: am I bi sexual, straight spouse support, straight spouse support network
straight spouse support, straight spouse support network, confusing feelings: Hi Christine... It is very possible, even likely (if you have had these feelings since you were twelve) that you are bi or gay. It is a very familiar story for far too many people. If you are like me (not saying you are...just using myself as an example)...

Lesbian Life: bi-sexuals, sex relations, hoots
sex relations, hoots, lesbians: Kristie, Same sex relations have always existed. They ve often been hidden as a lot of people find them hard to accept as they believe that it is not the way it was meant to be As for my opinion....It shouldn t matter to you what I think. So long as...

Lesbian Life: am i bi?, high schol, incounters
high schol, incounters, gay girls: Hi Raven, thanks for writing to me. I didn t think you were rambling at all...it just sounds like you literally go back and forth --so your writing and thinking are going to reflect that. I guess I would start off with the great news--you don t have to...

Lesbian Life: bisexual, lesbian bar, kay
lesbian bar, kay, atmosphere: Hi Doris, Of course you dont want to just go up to people and say hey are you bi-curious?. That may be a little odd. I don t know a website personally because i knew enough gay people to answer all of my questions when i was trying to get into my lifestye,...

Lesbian Life: Follow-up to: You brought a guy?!?!, lesbian girlfriends, social conventions
lesbian girlfriends, social conventions, party invitation: Thanks for updating me on your progress, Marc. You ve already guessed that she s conflicted about the whole thing but if what you say is true about the sexual tension between you then there is definitely an opening there. What will happen if you make your...

Lesbian Life: my butch girlfiend wants a baby, girlfried, girlfiend
girlfried, girlfiend, male friend: Wow. You certainly have a situation on your hands, Theresa, and it doesn t sound healthy at all. First of all I suggest you sit her down so that you re sure you have her full attention and tell her exactly what you said to me, I am paying for everything...

Lesbian Life: Children, artificial conception, sperm donor
artificial conception, sperm donor, male friends: Hi Kayleigh , thanks for getting back to me. Well, if this is something that you are serious about, then i have a few ideas that you might consider? I think it is very healthy, and a very good idea, for the pair of you to go and see a counsellor together,...

Lesbian Life: Clitorus, nerve endings, male penis
nerve endings, male penis, clitorus: Gee, I really dont know. Every female is different I would say that it feels good. Personally i get mines sucked...and it feels very good...i cant describe the feeling to you. Yes women do get orgasms it all depends on the man they are with. alot of men...

Lesbian Life: CONFUSED!, 42 year old women, dutch courage
42 year old women, dutch courage, lesbian friend: Hi Yes, that can usually bring you down. Getting married and having children when you know deep down inside that is not something that you should do is a problem. I know alot of people that have or is going through that. Anyway, no you are not boring me,...