About Experts Sitemap - Group 40 - Page 67 2016-08-23

Parenting --Teens: arguing with step-daughter 18, proper discipline, step parents
proper discipline, step parents, time and patience: I think I m missing something here but I don t really see where she s disrespected you. What I do sense is that I m being set up to give you an answer that you can take to your husband and say, See? I told you so! I happen to believe step-parents are...

Parenting --Teens: Childish Stepfather and Teenager, sarcastic jokes, daughter need
sarcastic jokes, daughter need, family counseling: Hello Brandy, There are two issues here -- that may or may not be related. One is the arguments between your daughter and husband; the second is your husband s favoritism toward your toddler. There are many reasons for parents and teenagers to have conflict;...

Parenting --Teens: Out of Control 18 year old, harsh criminal penalties, google
harsh criminal penalties, google, crisis hotline: They are too late to get him help. That needed to happen before he became an adult, when the state could offer programs to help him shift direction. Now he is in the same pickle as many in his age group: no longer a child on his parents medical plan (if he...

Parenting --Teens: Controlling Mother, controlling mother, first thing tomorrow
controlling mother, first thing tomorrow, current boyfriend: Go first thing tomorrow and inquire about getting into student housing on campus. If there s not any available, start shopping for an apartment near campus and, if necessary, advertise for a roommate. Your mom is not only being unfair, her behavior is...

Parenting --Teens: child get following option., child custody battle, hague convention
child custody battle, hague convention, dutch child: Hello Eric, Raising a child when the co-parents live in different countries is very difficult. However, the agreement that is proposed by the court seems like a very reasonable one under the circumstances. It s impossible to satisfy completely both parents...

Parenting --Teens: out of control 13 year old, grand parents, family therapist
grand parents, family therapist, entire school: Dear Tina, This girl needs counseling or a child/family therapist, or maybe a counselor that specializes in tough love....firm rules and consequences and the knowledge that you are only acting in HER own best long term interest. As grandparents living...

Parenting --Teens: Divorced Parents Driving Me Crazy, getting a divorce, hardwood flooring
getting a divorce, hardwood flooring, divorced parents: Maggie, This is an unfrotunate situation you are in. I am not sure how old you are. If you are over 18 then I suggest you find another place to live as soon as you can. If you are under 18 then I suggest you seek out a counselor to speak with. A school counselor...

Parenting --Teens: Controlling Mother, mom
Parenting --Teens: Controlling Mother, mom

Parenting --Teens: Our immature seventeen year old son, prejuidice, satisified
Parenting --Teens: Our immature seventeen year old son, prejuidice, satisified, stereotype

Parenting --Teens: Naked mama, cotton nappy, nudist beaches
Parenting --Teens: Naked mama, cotton nappy, nudist beaches, perfect shape

Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, wonderfull wife, lots of sex
Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, wonderfull wife, lots of sex

Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, sex life, little bit
Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, sex life, little bit, obviusly

Parenting --Teens: my granddaughter, kids alone, things to do for girls
kids alone, things to do for girls: Hi, Joan- I ve answered questions like this before, if you will just search my past files, but, long answer short; probably not a problem. Kids as young as ten regularly babysit three or four year- olds, so an 11 or 12 year-old watching herself should be...

Parenting --Teens: Help..., teen, teenagers
teen, teenagers, drinking: Dear Christina: I doubt you will like my answer, but remember you wrote to me. First of all there are way to many excuses in your email for your behavior. Yes, you took responsibility for paying your fines. This makes you a responsible adult. Do you really...

Parenting --Teens: How to handle teen son's overt disobedience/disrespect of Mom's authority, disrespectful comments, kitch
disrespectful comments, kitch, lack of respect: Hi, That s always a concern, because younger children may view an older sibling as getting away with something when their behavior is ignored. So, if a younger child tries to emulate their older sibling, you might be very direct with a reprimand when that...

Parenting --Teens: home alone, child neglect laws, james windell
child neglect laws, james windell, exact law: Hello Joan, Most states don t have a law stating a precise age when a child can t be left home alone. Nor do most states have an exact law that says that it is illegal to leave a child home alone. Instead, states rely on child neglect laws to deal with situations...

Parenting --Teens: Our immature seventeen year old son, home test kits, professional skateboarder
home test kits, professional skateboarder, cumulative gpa: Based solely on what you ve shared with me here, I would assume your son either (1) has trouble learning and hasn t had the special attention he needed to get past that so he just quit trying, or (2) smokes pot. The most prevalent symptom of a potsmoker is...

Parenting --Teens: Mom is crazy, abuse, teen
abuse, teen, college: Christina, First you must remember you are a DEPENDANT adult. They are willing to keep you in the home so there needs to be some respect. What can I say you made some poor choices that are now coming to roost. I would strongly suggest you don t make silly...

Parenting --Teens: Mom's nuts, underage drinking, teen depression
underage drinking, teen depression, helping others: Dear Christina, No family is untouched by dysfunction, so you can at least know that both you and your mother are within the normal range. That said, your description of her tantrums indicates some lack of control on her part, though it must have proved...

Parenting --Teens: Money above and beyond child support, daughter celeste, school clothes
daughter celeste, school clothes, sibblings: The simple answer is no, you are not wrong. In fact, you are so right. You are doing what every parent should do. You are a wonderful father who loves his daughter. Where you appear to be lacking judgment is in your choice of spouses. Your marriage...

Parenting --Teens: Naked mama, naked mama, darn time
naked mama, darn time, stepdad: Hello Tiffany, Wanting to be naked could be a sign of various things; but it could also just be her preference in her home. Some people enjoy walking around without the confinement of clothes. I wish I could give you an easy solution to your problem. But,...

Parenting --Teens: Need Help with 20 year old daughter, local community college, sanitary pads
local community college, sanitary pads, home on time: Dear Lynn: Because you failed to mention any of this I could not know. Are you sure she doesn t need more positive interaction, more praise? Also, do you know if anyone was ever sexually inappropriate with her. Teens often act out sexually when some...

Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents, overprotective parents, half of the time
overprotective parents, half of the time, old girl: Alicia, I would suggest you make attempts to show them you can be trusted. I know, I know, you have already done that. Obviously you haven t. What have you done that would make them untrustworthy of you? If you has friends they trusted and made good choices...

Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents, high school cross country, cross country team
high school cross country, cross country team, overprotective parents: Hello Ali, Are your parents being unreasonable? Probably to some degree they are. But I know as a parent that you are always concerned about the health and safety of your children. I think you are very perceptive and you seem to understand that parents...

Parenting --Teens: PLEASE HELP ME, james windell, medication dosage
james windell, medication dosage, lisence: Hello Danielle, We re not talking about laziness here. We re talking depression and maybe a mental illness. It s good that he s going to therapy and has started some medication. I would hope that the therapist discusses with you and his father what you...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with 18 year old boy, teens, responsibility
teens, responsibility: Dear Susie: I am sorry you are so frustrated. I have to ask you who is teaching him how to treat you and others? It is you and only you. You want him out yet you are considering buying him an apartment? NO! NO! NO! He is 18 and needs to be paying...

Parenting --Teens: parenting 12yr old daughter, temporary guardianship, grand parents
temporary guardianship, grand parents, family relationship: It s just going to take a lot of patience on your part. You ve taken in your daughter at what would be the most difficult time of her life in the best of circumstances. And yours are definitely not the best of circumstances. It s going to take a long period...

Parenting --Teens: Really bad lying, inappropriate note, school counselor
inappropriate note, school counselor, truth out: Hello Lea, First of all, let s put things in perspective. All children lie; all children even tell big lies at times. And she is not on her way to becoming a serial killer. There is some sibling and peer rivalry involved, but I m equally sure that your daughter...

Parenting --Teens: Sexist and argumentative 12 year old boy, sexist attitude, girls place
sexist attitude, girls place, single mom: WOW you painted yourself into a corner. No you cannot go back on this decision, but you can say to him, that you know the sport was important to him and you can give him another chance to reconsider HIS choice. I think you also need to start inviting some...

Parenting --Teens: Step son, bi polar disorder, lazy teenagers
bi polar disorder, lazy teenagers, bipolar disorders: Hello Lisa, Sorry for the delay in responding to you, but I ve been out of town. Lots of parents complain about lazy teenagers. In this case, however, it could be related to depression, or it could be depression related to a bipolar disorder. However,...

Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, teens, teenagers
teens, teenagers, teen: Dear Leslie: I can t decide if this is a serious question or if you are pranking me. I decided to answer it anyway as an example of what happens when parents don t remember they are parents. Seriously, she tells you to stay out of her sex life and she...

Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, teenager girls, sexual freedom
teenager girls, sexual freedom, single mother: Hello Leslie, Is what your daughter doing common among teenage girls? I would say it is not. It is, of course, true that many adolescent boys and girls engage in sexual relations. It is also true that many adolescents believe that oral-genital sex is less...

Parenting --Teens: Sucking Off Multiple Boys, teenager girls, sexual freedom
teenager girls, sexual freedom, single mother: This is about as sick and wrong as life can get. I really don t know what to tell you, Leslie. By not putting limits on her sexual freedom you have managed to raise a girl with no moral compass whatsoever. No, this is NOT common (thank goodness)...

Parenting --Teens: scary teen behavior, james windell, outrageous behavior
james windell, outrageous behavior, teen behavior: Hello Bonnie, Often earlier problems surface during the adolescent years. Your stepdaughter has a number of behavior problems and some of them are potentially very serious. They are likely related to some of the early events in her life -- before you entered...

Parenting --Teens: skipping school, skipping school, phone computer
skipping school, phone computer, girl friend: Tonya, you are doing what is right and what parents DO...Stick with it and hang in there and keep your rules intact...It is my feeling that he is just threatening you to push your buttons...he knows what would worry you most, like most kids do. He sounds...

Parenting --Teens: 'This is not my son', flare ups, prescription medication
flare ups, prescription medication, drivers ed: Hello Theresa, It is not unusual for middle teenagers to do all the things you describe. Adolescence is a difficult time for most teenagers, but a great many just seem to become very difficult and oppositional. It s good that you re going to see a family...

Parenting --Teens: my son & daughter want to live with there dad, teens, teenagers
teens, teenagers, custody: Dear Melissa; First stop worrying about whether or not they will resent you later. Do what is best for your children that is why you are the parent. I really don t have enough information here to help you. For instance, I don t know whether or not living...

Parenting --Teens: Talking to my parents, poor choices, rational conversation
poor choices, rational conversation, time at home: Jame, So you said a couple key words which probably are the reason your parents are protective. They know you will make poor choices. You want to go to parties, and socialize Those most likely all include drinking. Were you caught at one point or had a...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Lying, negative consequence, child adolescent
negative consequence, child adolescent, negative consequences: Hello Jessica, I think your approach must be a two-part approach. One part is that she needs to be in therapy to deal with early problems which cause her to lie. She has to work on the various issues related to her mother and her early childhood that continue...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Punishment, being a teenage girl, suitable punishment
being a teenage girl, suitable punishment, good relationship: Yes, sadly, this is all too normal behavior for 14-year-olds these days but just because it s common doesn t make it okay. I think we re all in agreement she s too young to be having sex. The most important thing to remember as a parent is not to react...

Parenting --Teens: Twenty year old daughter - a train wreck, teen alcohol abuse, AA
teen alcohol abuse, AA, creating drama/crisis: You are absolutely right. You must stop ALL financial support for her. (If you can keep her medical insurance up, that would be a good thing in the event that she ever wises up and decides to come clean.) This is one reason I wish every parent sending their...

Parenting --Teens: teen limitations, teens, teenagers
teens, teenagers, grades: Dear KC: Yes, his pulling away from his family is a normal response of teens. However, have you asked him what is up with his grades? How does he respond? Remember to really listen sometimes you have to read between the lines. Sometimes learning challenges...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter, james windell, hello dawn
james windell, hello dawn, social relationships: Hello Dawn, I understand that you wanted her to have a better education. However, teenagers are developing social relationships and these are much more important that being focused on a better education for future success. And even if she agreed to try a...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter heading down the wrong path, fast food restaurant, petty larceny
fast food restaurant, petty larceny, criminal justice system: Hello Kristin, Sorry for the delay in responding. It looks like things are rapidly moving toward your daughter being involved in the criminal justice system, which will take things out of your hands. You might even try to make sure that when she has to...

Parenting --Teens: Ughhh, box of hair, hair relaxer
box of hair, hair relaxer, tylenol pm: Hello Christina, I m sorry to hear that you re so angry with your mother. It was obviously disappointing for you to hear her say those things about you. I m sure you were already feeling guilty about the things that had happened to you. You probably wanted...

Parenting --Teens: 11yr too interested in sex, internet porn
internet porn: Dear Scott: I have one question for you, who is the parent and who is the child? She is looking at porn sites and you are both allowing her back on the computer? STOP She is 11 years old if you give up this much power to an eleven year old now you...

Parenting --Teens: 12-Year-Old Son Is Ignored by Kids his Age, james windell, sweet disposition
james windell, sweet disposition, being friends: Hello Vicki, Not every child is out-going, gregarious, and popular with others. You can help him with friendships when he expresses a need to have more friends or to be more engaged in relationships. When he indicates he feels unpopular or that he needs...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old son, wants a girlfriend, teens, sex
teens, sex, initiating sex: Dear Nancy: Start doubting yourself now and you will be a grandmother before you can shake your head. NO! You are not wrong. If the parents of this young women do not get the message. Make sure you are very clear about the message and the do not come calling...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old with add/ rebellious with father with father, james windell, blind obedience
james windell, blind obedience, family counseling: Hello Tonie, It s not easy to maintain a relationship with both sides and not be drawn into the battle. Each side wants you to support them. I think you have to constantly state your position. Your position might be stated something like this: I love...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old custody., parenting plan, parenting time
parenting plan, parenting time, few limits: Hello Crystal, I think you do have to get the courts involved. Even if you allow (or agree) to her father having physical custody, she must still have regular parenting time with you. He has no right to say you can t see her. I suspect your co-parent either...

Parenting --Teens: My 14 yr old daughter, dear mary, term interests
dear mary, term interests, good times: Dear Mary, Teens are hard...no two ways about it. But you need to be patient and remember how you were and how you FELT at her age. She picks on you because she feels she can talk to you better than to dad, even though what she says is not ejoyable for...

Parenting --Teens: 14yr old daughter, james windell, local psychologist
james windell, local psychologist, stealing money: Hello Carol, I fully support your approach to this situation. She shouldn t profit from her theft, and she should do some community service to reinforce the idea that she has done something very wrong. And I agree that stealing from parents can be a symptom...

Parenting --Teens: my 15 year old son, james windell, ways to deal with stress
james windell, ways to deal with stress, smoking marijuana: Hello Lisa, I m sorry to hear that your son had a bad reaction to smoking marijuana this summer. It seems that you and he have a good relationship since he told you about this and apparently continues to talk to you about his feelings. I hope that you...

Parenting --Teens: my 15 year son hates me, summer visitation, question pool
summer visitation, question pool, full custody: Dear Lisa: I found this question in the question Pool and decided to answer it. I am so sorry. I can hear your heartbreaking. This is the most painful part of parenting. Letting go. He is confused and you cannot fix him. He will have to figure this...

Parenting --Teens: My 16 year old son, stay at home mom, free moment
stay at home mom, free moment, rational reason: Hello Katherine, I can understand that you d like to see them engaged in other activities aside from hanging out in his room. I think you just have to have a discussion with your son and tell him that you believe they ought to be doing more activities...

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old son thinks he's the boss!, head food, little angel
head food, little angel, food shopping: Hello Brian, There may be lots of reasons why he is the way he is. If he wants to go to therapy to deal with events in his past, fine. But nothing in his past excuses him from rules, and consequences when he s violated rules. So, I think the place to start...

Parenting --Teens: 17 Yr Old Daughter, medicaid applications, cheaper car insurance
medicaid applications, cheaper car insurance, cheer leader: Dear Sandy, You are right my answer is pretty harsh. I use harshness sometimes when I perceive that I need to try and get through to someone. 1st of all her self esteem is not intact or she would be dating someone who could take care of himself and...

Parenting --Teens: 18 y/o pot smoker won't work, pot smoker, full time job
pot smoker, full time job, local community college: Hello Robert, I think a bit of tough love is called for, also. In effect, then, you give him a choice. Either he starts taking his medication, respects the rules of the home, and returns to school or gets a full-time job, or he must leave. Give him a 30-day...

Parenting --Teens: My 18 year old son, teen, teenagers
teen, teenagers, drinking: Dear Melissa: I can hear your pain and I am sorry you are in this position. Let s separate a few things out. What is you and what is him. 1st. You state, I ve worked hard, given him everything, his family given him everything! This is not good....

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old son is in toxic/manipulating relationship, morals and values, poor reputation
morals and values, poor reputation, prestigious college: Hello Glenda, I know this relationship your son is in is upsetting to you. And you desperately want to do something to save him from hurt and disappointment. However, I don t see that you can do anything further. I would suggest that you stop trying to...

Parenting --Teens: My 18yr old son, teens, drugs
teens, drugs, alcohol: Dear Sandra; I am so sorry. I know your heart is breaking and it is the roughest part of being a parent. I know you would like for me to give you the magic answer to make this all better and I cannot. It is going to get a bit harder. He, regardless...

Parenting --Teens: Our 19 year old son, james windell, fulltime job
james windell, fulltime job, medication: Hello Fran, I would suggest that you give him 30 days to choose and carry out one of four options: 1. Enroll in and attend college; 2. Get a fulltime job; 3. Begin seeing a therapist; 4. Move out on his own. At the end of 30 days, if he...

Parenting --Teens: 19 yr old son unreliable and hurtful, pales in comparison, tug of war
pales in comparison, tug of war, subject headings: Hello Fred, Sorry for the delay in responding to your email. Lots of co-parents or in-laws, following a divorce, do engage efforts to try to alienate the children from one parent. Often there s little you can do directly about this. I agree that it s...

Parenting --Teens: my 20 year old son doesn't want to finish college, phone conversation, three guys
phone conversation, three guys, time student: Pamela, This has got to be difficult for you. We all want our children to be successful and when they aren t it is upsetting. I suggest that you clearly let him know that you will not be paying for his classes if he is refusing to go. It sounds like he may...

Parenting --Teens: 3 difficult teens, difficult teens, head food
difficult teens, head food, rights and privileges: Dear Donna, Your 20 year-old has been an adult for two years. You own him nothing. Kick him out. It s the only way he will learn. How long do you think he will continue to come up with excuses if you continue to feed and shelter him? Do you still want him...

Parenting --Teens: My 4.5 year old is becoming very sexual, james windell, sexual interest
james windell, sexual interest, sexual situations: Hello Heather, I would be concerned as to where he learned about oral sex. There are so many possibilities these days -- cable TV and the Internet are two likely resources. I understand you may have done a great job of limiting his exposure to sexual situations...

Parenting --Teens: caught 16 yr old son smoking pot., james windell, knee jerk reaction
james windell, knee jerk reaction, error in judgment: Hello Mark, You are probably right that it was typical teenage behavior in which he tried out smoking pot. I don t think you need to administer a severe consequence. And perhaps the fact that he got caught and had to talk to you about it is enough. However,...

Parenting --Teens: contolling dad, question pool, acting this way
question pool, acting this way, freinds: Dear Michelle: I found your question in the question pool this morning. I don t often go there but something told me to today. Dealing with parents is often as hard as raising children. Maybe because they are not all grown up themselves. There...

Parenting --Teens: My Daughter (11 years old), james windell, mother daughter conflict
james windell, mother daughter conflict, educational psychologist: Hello E., I think you need to more fully understand why your daughter may be having difficulties at school. There could be many reasons, however, in order to get her on track you have to know how she got off track. Is it a learning problem, problems with...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter 15, bad grades, learning disability, weeked
learning disability, weeked, daughter age: Dear Andria: You may not like my answer. You have been grounding her for two years? How is this working? Why do you continue to do something that is obviously not working? It sounds to me like she may have a learning disability. She does fine in gym...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter confusing me, barbie dolls, complete recovery
barbie dolls, complete recovery, car accident: Dear Margaret, Thanks for writing. I am sorry to hear about your older child, and hope he/she will have a speedy and complete recovery. I think you are reading the situation perfectly, and you have cause for concern. This has been going on with your...

Parenting --Teens: daughter, james windell, mad dad
james windell, mad dad, family therapist: Hello Lenny, I apologize for the lateness of this response. If your daughter was 16 or 17, it would be a different matter. She might have more say in what she wants to do. However, she is only 13 and it s adults who have to look out for her. Therefore,...

Parenting --Teens: my daughter, problems at school, single mom
problems at school, single mom, daddys girl: Hello Molly, If she s a daddy s girl, her father has a better chance of influencing her behavior. Does he see the behavior problems going on? Has he talked to her about the unacceptability of some of her behavior? Is he willing to use negative consequences?...

Parenting --Teens: daughter stealing, volunteer program, homeless people
volunteer program, homeless people, tough love: Dear Carol, You must use a tough love approach and stick to your rules and consequences. If you let her get away with this and other irresponsible things, her behavior will get worse. Sit down with her and make a list of your rules and what consequences...

Parenting --Teens: defacs, babies, care-of babies
babies, care-of babies, agency requirements: You need to google DEFACS to discover the answer to this question. I did, and it seems to be the Child Advocate in the state of Georgia. There are dozens of official pages and boards available where people have commented on DEFACS, and a wealth of information...

Parenting --Teens: I dont really know .., parents, drinking
parents, drinking, underage drinking: Dear Tyler: I found this question in the question pool. It wasn t directed to me so do what you like with my answer. You have been cursed with good parents. I work everyday with teens your age who parents don t care what they do. They have all the freedom...

Parenting --Teens: Ex Husband's Difficulty in Relating to Our Teen Daughter, egg shells, broken relationship
egg shells, broken relationship, dear kathy: Dear Kathy, This has been going on too long to repair. She certainly felt his distancing and aloofness at age 3 and still does. She needs to know that most people do not change; it s the way he is and was and will be. Perhaps you can tell her why if you...

Parenting --Teens: expectations of 19 yr. old son who lives at home, month old baby, drug habit
month old baby, drug habit, car pay: Hello Theresa, It sounds like it s time for another confrontation. I think you and your husband need to schedule a talk with him. Not alone, but together. When you have this meeting, remind him of the previous set of rules which he agreed to and which...

Parenting --Teens: Good parenting, james windell, good parenting
james windell, good parenting, importance of education: Hello Jamesha, There are lots of examples of bad parenting around. Bad parents are often those parents who neglect their children, fail to supervise them, don t teach them appropriate behaviors, use inconsistent discipline, may be either too harsh or too...

Parenting --Teens: high school dropout, high school dropout, apprenticeship program
high school dropout, apprenticeship program, bad temper: Oh the soccer is an excellent idea. Not only for his self-confidence but there are new studies out that verify what we have believed for a long time - that exercise can actually alter the brain s chemistry, releasing more seratonin and endorphins and actually...

Parenting --Teens: Immature 14 year old boy, learning, school
learning, school, teens: Dear Denise: Have you had him screened for a learning challenge. These behavior sound more like there is either a learning disorder or a behavioral issue. I would take him to your family doctor and first make sure his physical says everything is fine...

Parenting --Teens: Improvemwnet, teens, arguing
teens, arguing, conflict: Dear Ivace: Most parents don t like the answer to this one. First of all the parent is the adult. It takes two to have an argument so don t argue back. That takes the arguing down to nothing. DO LISTEN! Do state what you want and expect clearly...

Parenting --Teens: Lying Teenager, habitual lying, high school teacher
habitual lying, high school teacher, dean of students: Paula, It could be she is really struggling with something and can t manage everything. She could be overwhelmed and so doesn t want to disappoint she will lie hoping you won t find out. It should show you that you are not as close as you thought. Bottomline...

Parenting --Teens: Mom wont allow me to borrow car for business, magical solution, passengers seat
magical solution, passengers seat, time god: Hello Kia, Sorry you re having trouble getting a job so you can be more independent. I don t have any magical solution for persuading your mother to give in on the car issue. You didn t say this, but I assume she has never let you use the car to drive...

Parenting --Teens: my16 year old, 16 going on 17, losing control
16 going on 17, losing control, consistant: Sandra, As you already know consistency is probably one of the most important things you can offer your teen. What you describe is fairly normal in my experience. When there is a broken family there is usually always a person the teen can run to to give them...

Parenting --Teens: Name calling, question pool, adult life
question pool, adult life, important person: Dear Debbie: I found your question in the question pool today. I don t go in there all that often but something told me to and there your question was sitting unanswered. First of all you need to forgive yourself. All parents make mistakes at one time...

Parenting --Teens: Please help with suggestions for limits allowance...., james windell, parental permission
james windell, parental permission, young teens: Hello Wendy, In general, parents should know where teens, especially young teens, are, what they are doing, and who they are with at all times. Thus, rules should be that you do not go out without parental permission, and if you re going out with friends...

Parenting --Teens: rage in a 15 year old boy, bloody nonsense, computer xbox
bloody nonsense, computer xbox, physical manifestation: Hello DD, You re asking some great questions. I think many parents of adolescents have many of the same questions. You took away privileges because he was abusing them and because they interfered with his studies. Just giving them all back at once doesn...

Parenting --Teens: re:concerned about my 3 year old son's behavior, dinosaur names, history of giftedness
dinosaur names, history of giftedness, genius level: Hello Amy, I m not an expert on Dabrowski s theory, but it may have some merit. I tend to believe that all children have their own set of temperamental traits, which can include some of things that comprise Dabrowski s overexcitabilities. Be that as it...

Parenting --Teens: Self steem, james windell, physical attractiveness
james windell, physical attractiveness, self esteem issues: Hello Francisco, I think every teenager has self-esteem issues. It comes with being an adolescent and going through all the changes, growth, and development that teenagers experience. Your daughter may be more needy when it comes to having positive feedback...

Parenting --Teens: Stepson threatened suicide., life obstacles, custodial parents
life obstacles, custodial parents, stepchildren: Dear Jennifer: You are not going to like my answer anymore this time than you did the first time. I am surprised at the follow up question. I don t believe you can and truthfully it sounds like she has reason to feel threatened. You state you have been...

Parenting --Teens: my smart mouth son, smart aleck, smart mouth
smart aleck, smart mouth, son 13: Hello Shannon, I m sorry that your son is so disrespectful toward you. I know it hurts because you know you deserve better. However, it is not unusual for children to blame one of their parents for a divorce. And they may be influenced by a parent who...

Parenting --Teens: son dating an older woman, teen, teenagers
teen, teenagers, drinking: Dear Laura: What part of him being underage is someone not getting here? Are you trying to be his parent or his friend. What kind of a college student at the age of 23 wants to date a 16 year old teen? NOT okay! He can date her when he is 18 if they...

Parenting --Teens: Why a Teen Acts like a Five Year Old?, step parenting, step daughter
step parenting, step daughter, immaturity: Dear Renee: She will learn best by example. It also won t help if either of the mothers are looking down on the other so I wouldn t keep up the comparisons between the daughters or how you each have raised them. I would include her on things and continue...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage kids of my husband, household chores, fahter
household chores, fahter, step kids: Janice, Unfortunately this is what you signed up for, yet you may not have known it at the time. Actually these kids have it worse than you because they don t experience any consistent boundaries. What you describe with dad is related to guilt. You describes...

Parenting --Teens: Is Tough Love the answer??, path of least resistance, high iq
path of least resistance, high iq, new girlfriend: Hello Kathleen, Let me ask you some questions: Is it fair how he s treating you? Is it fair that he is has a sense of entitlement about being taken care of? What would happen to him if suddenly you and your husband were killed in an accident? Would...

Parenting --Teens: teenager, desperate measures, teenage daughter
desperate measures, teenage daughter, desperate need: Hello Rhonda, I think you re right to be concerned. Your daughter s obsessive and controlling behavior with her boyfriend may lead to her even more desperate measures to keep him. I suggest that you confront her with what you found out and indicate your...

Parenting --Teens: teenager stealing and lieing, anger issues, negative consequences
anger issues, negative consequences, sleepovers: Hello Kim, You didn t mention how involved his father is in his life; nor if the two of you co-parent by talking about problems. If you do, and the two of you have been talking about these problems, that s great. But if you haven t been, then that might...

Parenting --Teens: how to work with a 15 yo who is lying too much, family counseling, facebook
family counseling, facebook, bad behavior: Hi Belinda, Yes, I would agree that her lies do constitute a serious breach of trust. But many teenagers do get caught up in some aspect of teen life, such as trying to fit in with a group of peers or wanting to be involved in a romantic relationship with...

Parenting --Teens: A 12 year old with crazy tantrums, james windell, temper tantrums
james windell, temper tantrums, unwanted behaviors: Hello Tracy, I may have more questions than recommendations at this point. However, I d like to know some more about the situation. For instance, how long has he been seeing the therapist and the psychiatrist? Did he begin seeing them because of his anger...

Parenting --Teens: my 12 year old step daughter, lovable family, mouthy
lovable family, mouthy, school functions: Julia, I would really encourage you to not do punishment like that again. It doesn t seem appropriate to the behavior she has been exhibiting at all. What she is doing is normal. The problem is that she is doing it through the lens of a 12 yr old who must...

Parenting --Teens: 13 YR OLD SHOWED AGGRESSION/NEEDS MOTIVATION, young adolescents, 13 yr old
young adolescents, 13 yr old, blended family: Hello Amy, Many young adolescents, about your son s age, show a decline at school, and in fact are often quite unmotivated. Most of them are really not angry at anything -- at least nothing they can name. It s part of the age for many teenagers. And, of...

Parenting --Teens: My 13 year old brother, strageties, low self esteem
strageties, low self esteem, creative story: Hello Jason, Thanks for taking an interest in your brother. I can t say exactly why your brother struggles in school. However, I venture two guesses. One is that it is emotional issues which preoccupy him and these interfere with his ability to concentrate...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old girls self esteem, scavenger hunt game, 13 year old girls
scavenger hunt game, 13 year old girls, volunteer project: Tash, I believe that self-esteem isn t built by relying on others compliments. If it was then it could easily be broken by people s insults. I think self-esteem is built by doing things that impress yourself. So getting good at something, doing the right...

Parenting --Teens: 13 yr old daughter wants out of her mothers custody to live in her fathers home, cps worker, mother 2
cps worker, mother 2, financial trouble: This is the sort of problem only legal counsel can solve. You need to hire a good family practice lawyer, and it might also be a very good idea, if they laws in your state permit it, to have a private investigator videotape and record the confrontations between...

Parenting --Teens: 14yr old VERY troubled son, james windell, iq 135
james windell, iq 135, anger and anxiety: Hello K, I assume your son is under the jurisdiction of the county juvenile court at present. If he is, you should be talking to the court about having him committed to the state under the 150 Act. It may require another offense and a new petition to the...

Parenting --Teens: 15-year old daughter lying about parents, teen interests, lies
teen interests, lies, religion: Dear Amy, My heart goes out to you in your struggles, and I will add your family to my prayers. You are right. She needs professional care to determine the motivation behind her lies, and to get her the help she so obviously needs. I am very concerned...

Parenting --Teens: 16 year old boy having no friends and overly emotional with anger issues, anger issues, having no friends
anger issues, having no friends, private high school: Hello Julia, As I indicated, sometimes it is very hard for a parent to help a teen change. And for the very reason you re talking about. They disparage our advice and tell us it doesn t work. A therapist is likely to have better luck because kids will listen...

Parenting --Teens: 18 yr old, wonderful child, disrespect
wonderful child, disrespect, do the right thing: I think that the time of coddling him is over. You could give him the information that if he continue to choose this behavior of disrespect then he will need to do it elsewhere. There is expected to be some distancing as a kid gets older, but disrespect shouldn...

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old brother is a MONSTER!, raising teenagers, bad attitude
raising teenagers, bad attitude, bad kid: Hello Tara, I don t know how old you are, but there s perhaps nothing you can do. However, your mother and grandmother should have him removed from the house. Either have some strong male friends be there when he is supposed to move out or have the police...

Parenting --Teens: Would a 19 year old girls still want to see her father? She has never seen her father before., child custody dispute, 19 year old girls
child custody dispute, 19 year old girls, social security number: Hello Alexandra, Some girls would want to see their father and some might not. But I expect that she has thought a lot about him over the years and is curious about him. It doesn t mean she doesn t love and respect her mother, but she might just like...

Parenting --Teens: 20 year old daughter, anorexia bulimia, recovering from anorexia
anorexia bulimia, recovering from anorexia, emotional maturity: C, If she is struggling with anorexia, where you need to start is getting her to a therapist who can help her with this. You would need to meet with this therapist and ask them about the different ways you could help grow her up. Because of her issues emotional...

Parenting --Teens: I have a 20 year old living at home - what boundaries do I set?, bipolar ii, local community college
bipolar ii, local community college, labile moods: Hello Charlene, Although you would like to set limits with your son, it s not going to work unless you and his father are in agreement. Setting limits is one thing; enforcing them is another. And it will take both of you working together for limit-setting...

Parenting --Teens: What to do with 21year old Daughter, compulsive liar, eldest daughter
compulsive liar, eldest daughter, stepfather: Hello Carolyne, I think you ve described your daughter very well. And I think you know her pretty well, too. Here s what you can do: Tell her she has 10 days to get a job or get enrolled in college and begin attending. If she is working and bringing...

Parenting --Teens: 6 year old lying, negative consequence, poor choices
negative consequence, poor choices, tooth fairy: Hello Ashley, Many children about your daughter s age lie. Often it is to avoid trouble. Sometimes it s because they make poor choices and don t want to suffer the consequences. Six is in some ways a difficult age. Sixes are faced with more complex choices...

Parenting --Teens: my 6-year old is traumatized!!!, daughters room, girls having intercourse
daughters room, girls having intercourse, sexual behaviors: Hello Sue, Before you take her to a therapist, do some interviewing of potential therapists. Explain briefly why you want to bring her in. Ask the therapist how they would handle the situation. If you don t like the answer, keep shopping for a thera[pist....

Parenting --Teens: 7th grader out of control, top of my lungs, disciplinary issues
top of my lungs, disciplinary issues, good behavior: Larry, The problem I see from how you explain it is that you aren t consistent. You are trying all these things and not sticking with one thing. I think a combination of giving incentives for good behavior, providing consequences for bad behavior and being...

Parenting --Teens: Can you answer these question, for me?, oakland community college, relation ship
oakland community college, relation ship, stepdaughter: Hello Jason, You re asking a question that no one can answer with any kind of certainty. It all depends on the girl and the man. You re asking a hypothetical question: Could a girl in the situation you suggest grow healthy and happy? Hypothetically, yes...

Parenting --Teens: What is the best bay to handal this, james windell, parenting issues
james windell, parenting issues, inadmissible: Hello Alexandra, The problem is between you and your co-parent. This is not a matter to take anyone to court or to prove anything. Obviously, you and your co-parent disagree about your daughter getting tattoos. It would certainly seem like you could complain...

Parenting --Teens: What is the best way for a mother to handel this?, international child abduction, hague convention on the civil aspects
international child abduction, hague convention on the civil aspects, usa possession: Hello Lynn, There s lots of ways of being a good mother. And while you might start out thinking that you would plan to have your child stay in Greece until she s 18, many thing could happen before then. As to whether the girl is upset about staying in Greece...

Parenting --Teens: Challenging 7year old, bad behaviour, many a time
bad behaviour, many a time, younger ones: Hello Sukhwant, Yes, your daughter is challenging. And such children try the patience of their parents (and grandparents). You didn t mention that you use any negative consequences. It appears your usual discipline approaches when she doesn t mind are...

Parenting --Teens: How would this case be handeld, james windell, social services
james windell, social services, neglect: Hello Ethan, Social services would probably find someone who could speak Dutch, or they would probably find someone who could figure out what language she spoke. If social services is involved, the chances are they will persist in trying to find someone...

Parenting --Teens: What would a child do in this case, child custody dispute, james windell
child custody dispute, james windell, 10 year old girl: Hello Sarah, I can t really answer your questions. Some girls might rebel and try to escape; others might not. Very likely, she would want to learn more about her mother and re-establish a relationship. It s also hard to say what she would do in the future...

Parenting --Teens: How would this child feel, custody arrangement, full custody
custody arrangement, full custody, relation ship: Hello Jessica, If the parents live in the same house and get along with each other, there should be no negative effect on a child. To the child it s as if they are still married. Children don t care that there is a paper somewhere that says her parents are...

Parenting --Teens: How would this child still love and trust her father in this case, international child kidnapping, james windell
international child kidnapping, james windell, birth report: Hello Alexandra, Some adolescent girls would accept that they cannot contact their mother until age 18; others might be stubborn enough or spunky enough to insist they want to learn more or find their mother before age 18. Many might be willing to wait...

Parenting --Teens: Would a child understand this, child custody battle, legal standpoint
child custody battle, legal standpoint, parenting time: Hello, I don t know if you would find a lot of cases in family court where you have similar circumstances. You can tell a girl that it would be bad for her to know who her father is and she might go along with this for several years. But she might not go...

Parenting --Teens: consequences for misbehaving teen, church youth group, school dances
church youth group, school dances, poor decisions: Dear Charla: Your daughter sounds almost PERFECT. However as you describe her behavior as boy crazy I would like to ask you how perfect she is suppose to be? It sounds to me like she has found a way to socialize and to rebel at the sametime. ...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter spiraling downward, hs guidance, guidance counselor
hs guidance, guidance counselor, term interests: Dear Ann, I am a supporter of tough love but in your case it might be a problem...you see she is only 16 and MAY be found to have special needs. You are legally responsible for her, at least in most states. Check on your state laws. You probably would be...

Parenting --Teens: Defiant 16 year old son, parental supervision, defiant teens
parental supervision, defiant teens, defiant behavior: Hello Julie, Now that you ve given me more information, I have to say that your son sounds like a fairly normal adolescent. I certainly work with far more oppositional and defiant teens every day. It is so common for middle teens to avoid doing what they...

Parenting --Teens: Disrespectful 10yo, homework sheets, math assignment
homework sheets, math assignment, negative attitude: Hello De, Okay, so it seems he has always had school problems. In effect, he has not found school enjoyable or satisfying. Of course, he probably is smart in many ways. However, he doesn t enjoy academic subjects and he resists school work. He doesn t...

Parenting --Teens: daughter of 23 lives at home w.grandson of 5 years, head start program, dept of social services
head start program, dept of social services, being a good parent: So sorry....wne I read this I see that my own situation with supporting two daughters out of work...no jobs in sight... that are ages 41 and 42 ia not so bad as yours. At least there are no kids. You need to get help and get it now. You cannot do this...

Parenting --Teens: dealing with my 11 year old, Respect, teaching boys respect
Respect, teaching boys respect, serving others: Dear Phil- Where 11 year-old boys are concerned, you and your wife MUST be on the same page. It is critical to your son s well-being that he learn respect, and this cannot happen if his mother is allowing him to disrespect his father. It is up to her to...

Parenting --Teens: duaghter of 23 with grandon age 5 live with mom at home, james windell, heart to heart talk
james windell, heart to heart talk, grandon: Hello Alicia, I m sure you got into this situation because you wanted to have your grandson in a safe and stable home. However, now your daughter is taking advantage of you. So, what you do must depend on what your greatest priority is. Is it to have your...

Parenting --Teens: Is this a dumb question, rash decisions, verbal consent
rash decisions, verbal consent, question question: Hi, Yes, those are potential issues. First, some girls would go along with suggestions by a parent in order to please that parent. Second, they may resent it in the future when they may decide that they really should have waited on their (or their father...

Parenting --Teens: ear piercing girls, ear cartilage, ear piercings
ear cartilage, ear piercings, old girl: Hello Alexis, Girls may be willing to put up with all sorts of things in order to please a father. She may be willing to have several ear piercings or to wear several rings on each ear. Some girls would feel flattered and special if their father not only...

Parenting --Teens: What effect does the following have on a little girl?, parent alienation syndrome, good mother
parent alienation syndrome, good mother, little girls: Hello Alyssa, There are, of course, lots of reasons why a father might turn his child against the other parent. However, it is commonly seen in high-conflict divorces, and it even has a name: parent alienation syndrome. For this father it is a way of getting...

Parenting --Teens: emotional terrorism, new years eve, happy new year baby
new years eve, happy new year baby, facebook: I wish there was a law for emotional terrorism, Chelsea. What I really wish is that I could write a handbook for everyone who becomes a parent. It s the most fun and interesting job they will ever do, and so many haven t got a clue. They miss the best...

Parenting --Teens: A 12 year old with crazy tantrums, old girl
Parenting --Teens: A 12 year old with crazy tantrums, old girl

Parenting --Teens: 14yr old VERY troubled son, tv show
Parenting --Teens: 14yr old VERY troubled son, tv show

Parenting --Teens: 15-year old daughter lying about parents, drug use, good luck
Parenting --Teens: 15-year old daughter lying about parents, drug use, good luck, drug problem

Parenting --Teens: 16 year old boy having no friends and overly emotional with anger issues, fruit pastels, cryed
Parenting --Teens: 16 year old boy having no friends and overly emotional with anger issues, fruit pastels, cryed, water bottle

Parenting --Teens: I have a 20 year old living at home - what boundaries do I set?, smoke pot, constant struggle
Parenting --Teens: I have a 20 year old living at home - what boundaries do I set?, smoke pot, constant struggle, behavioral therapy

Parenting --Teens: What to do with 21year old Daughter, family member
Parenting --Teens: What to do with 21year old Daughter, family member

Parenting --Teens: girl seems obsessed with my 13 year old son, self fullfilling prophecy, fear
Parenting --Teens: girl seems obsessed with my 13 year old son, self fullfilling prophecy, fear, relationship

Parenting --Teens: parental/teen nudity at home, family nudity, period changes
Parenting --Teens: parental/teen nudity at home, family nudity, period changes, sense of humor

Parenting --Teens: How does social services handle this., biological parent, horrible experience
Parenting --Teens: How does social services handle this., biological parent, horrible experience, unborn child

Parenting --Teens: Can't get my 18 year old to get a job, minimum wage job, buying a house
Parenting --Teens: Can't get my 18 year old to get a job, minimum wage job, buying a house, job prospects

Parenting --Teens: teenage boys, molestation, puberty
Parenting --Teens: teenage boys, molestation, puberty, psychiatrist

Parenting --Teens: What should this father do, james windell, us state department
james windell, us state department, adoptive parents: Hello David, I think the biological father should work with the adopting agency and the adopted parents to try to decide what s the best way of handling this for everyone concerned, especially the girl. The girl may not be curious about her biological...

Parenting --Teens: my fourteen year old daughter, group counseling, family counseling
group counseling, family counseling, baby brother: Samantha: Okay she has been diagnosed with ADHD but you say you think she is doing fine, yet you list a long list of unacceptable behaviors. What is up with you? First of all she is obviously NOT DOING FINE Next, these behaviors are not all related...

Parenting --Teens: girl seems obsessed with my 13 year old son, overprotective parents, definite limits
overprotective parents, definite limits, red flags: Hello Worried Parents, So what s wrong with being strict, overprotective parents? As a matter of fact, when it comes to raising most teenagers, parents need to be strict (that is, having definite limits) and should be somewhat more overprotective (as opposed...

Parenting --Teens: Husband can't deal with our teen son, marriage and family therapists, childish behavior
marriage and family therapists, childish behavior, teen behavior: Hello Colleen, I agree that your husband needs some help in learning how to relate to and deal with teenagers. Your husband was brought up by an abusive father and the only way he learned to deal with his own teenagers is through power, coercion, and anger....

Parenting --Teens: What would happen in this case, james windell, new born baby
james windell, new born baby, case question: Hi Angelina, I m sure social services would go about trying to make the best decision and find the best place for the child. That could be with the father or another relative, or it could mean making the child available for adoption. Best, Jame...

Parenting --Teens: I hope that this is not a stupid question., greek nationals, country greece
greek nationals, country greece, relation ship: Hello Andrea, There are probably lots of situations related to abduction and becoming close to a parent that I can t explain or maybe even understand. Human beings are so complex that many different scenarios could result from the same action. So while one...

Parenting --Teens: inconsiderate, selfish teens, talking to a brick wall, three teens
talking to a brick wall, three teens, bad person: Anne Marie, These teens are in the age where they are usually inconsiderate and disrespectful. I guess I look at it at levels. There is some of what you describe to be expected, but then there should also be remorse for what was said or done. Leaving your...

Parenting --Teens: Would a little girl complain when she is told by her father?, james windell, paternity suit
james windell, paternity suit, biological father: Hello Amy, A 10-year-old might be very curious as to why her mother abandoned her. I don t suggest at this point giving a 10-year-old all the details, but she needs to have her questions answered in at least general ways. I don t know why social services...

Parenting --Teens: How long will this take, loving person, social worker
loving person, social worker, good friends: Hi Alexa, It might apply even if the girl seems not to be looking forward to meeting him. If she indicated she were apprehensive or skeptical about meeting her father, it just might mean that she is not sure what to expect. If it turns out she likes her...

Parenting --Teens: Making friends - 14 year old son, putting education, boarding high school
putting education, boarding high school, parent help: Dear Lori: I don t think you will like my answer. I think your son is responding appropriately. He is 14 years old and he is in a boarding school. You as his mother already knew he was sensitive and had a hard time making friends. I think boarding school...

Parenting --Teens: MOTHER!, teen dating, choices and accountability
teen dating, choices and accountability, wait to date: Dear Savannah, One day you will get down on your knees to thank your Heavenly Father that you had a mother with such wisdom. Look back through my dating advice to others to see WHY it is SO important to wait to date. My advice is to do as much with...

Parenting --Teens: Molestation., porn addiction, incest stories
porn addiction, incest stories, computer history: Hi, CGLLR- Were you able to talk to your school guidance counselor or other adult about what can be done to help you? I don t know if I was clear or not, but about the only thing that can be done is to talk with your psychiatrist. He/she needs to know...

Parenting --Teens: Is this a maturity issue?, acceptable behavior, pouts
acceptable behavior, pouts, tardiness: Dear Linda: I apologize for taking so long to get back to you with an answer. I had an emergency and was off line for a few days. I would not take his behavior lightly and this is DEFINITELY not just a part of maturing. He needs to understand his aggression...

Parenting --Teens: What should a mother do in this case, james windell, artifical insemination
james windell, artifical insemination, dna test: Hello Alexa, What you should do depends on how you feel about the situation. You indicate that this is not a crime. I m not so sure that that is true. In some states, I think, for an adopted father to have a sexual relationship with an adopted daughter...

Parenting --Teens: I need help with almost 19 year old daughter, smoking pot, controllable
smoking pot, controllable, drug tests: Hi Syble, I m glad to hear you re taking some tangible steps to let her function independently. Now, If I understand what you want your husband or someone to do is to tell her that she been a bad daughter and has made your life miserable, right? And this...

Parenting --Teens: What would a normal child do, james windell, physical closeness
james windell, physical closeness, physical affection: Hello Angelina, Many children at age 10 would feel comfortable sleeping with their father if this was the usual routine. However, at some point during adolescence, maybe at 14, 15, or 16, they may wish more privacy. Would a teenage girl like hanging...

Parenting --Teens: How old must she be in order to understand this?, surrogacy contract, gestational surrogacy
surrogacy contract, gestational surrogacy, gestational surrogate: Hello, It also depends on the child s cognitive abilities. However, it is important she be told the truth starting at a young age. While she may not understand everything she is told, she will understand part of it. As she gets older, certainly around ages...

Parenting --Teens: Problem, learning disability, emotional assistance
learning disability, emotional assistance, family counseling: Dear Jessica: There are several different issues going on here an all are concerning to me. I strongly suggest some family counseling. I think he is crying out for some help. First of all he is at an age where a learning disability maybe coming into play....

Parenting --Teens: Problems with 16 yr old son & a girl., message to my son, school suspension
message to my son, school suspension, oceanography: Hello Rhonda, It s not easy for boys who are in love for the first time. Particularly when that girl with whom they are in love is older and has a car. Their freedom and their maturity has a huge appeal for boys. In fact, you stated that your son has...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with my mom, speal, problem child
speal, problem child, single mother: Hi Dawn, I m glad to hear you are standing up to her. I recognize that it is difficult to leave, but just because you have no other relatives in the area doesn t mean you couldn t get an apartment on your own. I suspect you re going to find a man you want...

Parenting --Teens: Purging., savior jesus christ, bile acids
savior jesus christ, bile acids, crippling arthritis: Different religions have different perceptions, but after years of seeing people with problems, I think it is seriously wrong to do it more than, say, once or twice in a lifetime. I don t want you to feel shame or guilt over it. That won t accomplish a thing,...

Parenting --Teens: parental/teen nudity at home, family nudity, teen nudity
family nudity, teen nudity, verbal response: Dear Curtis, Since you didn t ask this question of me directly, it has just been sitting here, and I don t know if anyone ever answered you on this very serious issue. As her father, you should have immediately left the room to indicate to her that her...

Parenting --Teens: Is this posibel, department of social services, relation ship
department of social services, relation ship, juvenile court: Hello Angelina, You should check with the juvenile court in your county. There is likely to be a foster care department within the juvenile court. In addition, you could check with the department of social services in your state. I m sure both the department...

Parenting --Teens: Question., miss haversham, google
miss haversham, google, question question: It may not have been your parents. Did you ever consider that possibility? What is wrong with you can also have been caused by many other things, including genetics or neurological formation or dozens of other conditions. Every victim thinks they deserved...

Parenting --Teens: question on discpline, james windell, behavior problems
james windell, behavior problems, adhd: Hello Anne, Locking your teenager out when he comes home late is an approach that is likely to lead to more behavior problems. For instance, if he s locked out, suppose he impulsively breaks a door or window to get in? What if he makes so much noise, he...

Parenting --Teens: The sleep patterns of my 18-year old daughter, signs of low self esteem, few good friends
signs of low self esteem, few good friends, adult responsibilities: Dear Rosemary: You won t like my answer. She is 18! Your window of opportunity for changing anything about her passed by and closed some years ago. Your limits are too lax. As for motivating her she is now an adult with adult responsibilities to support...

Parenting --Teens: Can small children still recognize parents they have not seen in years, james windell, four year old girl
james windell, four year old girl, german mother: Hello Linda, I m sure after not seeing a parent for a couple of years, that children of six and seven would still recognize a mother. It s difficult to say what those children would do at age 18. They might feel like they would not want to leave friends,...

Parenting --Teens: What would social services do in this case, first amendment of the us constitution, barnes noble
first amendment of the us constitution, barnes noble, immoral purposes: Hi Alexa, How does social services learn about this if he s not showing the pictures to anyone? The problem is that if the police or social services learned about this, they could regard it as pornography or of his attempt to use his daughter for immoral...

Parenting --Teens: How does social services handle this., guardian ad litum, private therapist
guardian ad litum, private therapist, statutory rape: Hello, An adoption agency or the juvenile court can better answer your questions than I can. If the baby is adopted, you and your daughter may lose all rights and claims. And it may be that your daughter could not undo the adoption later on when she turns...

Parenting --Teens: Would it still be difficult for a birth mother to become good friends with her 10 year old daughter?, hi amy, birth mother
hi amy, birth mother, good friends: Hi Amy, If both parents are cooperating and they get along well enough, one way would be for them to meet for lunch or dinner at a casual restaurant. The father could stay so that the girl feels more comfortable. He can ask questions or help direct the conversation...

Parenting --Teens: Am I straight or not?, sex with a guy, ikki twins
sex with a guy, ikki twins, lesbianism: Yes. From your very first letter to me I thought you had probably been molested. Why? Because children who are protected from violence do not come up with sexual ideation on their own. They have to be conditioned, taught, or shown. All are forms of molestation....

Parenting --Teens: Teen away on school nights?, james windell, privileges
james windell, privileges, best friend: Hello D., I think you should tell her that her first priority is school and that her school work and grades come before anything else. She should also be informed that until her school work is done and shown to you she can t go out at night at all. There...

Parenting --Teens: Teen sex, sexual experiences, negative consequences
sexual experiences, negative consequences, cam home: Hello Michelle, I don t think the consequence will necessarily accomplish your goal. The consequence only lets him know that there are in fact some consequences when he errs. He needs to know that you feel strongly about the situation and if he lies or goes...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Girl wanting to date older boy:, 15 year old girls, maturity level
15 year old girls, maturity level, casual dinner: Hi Leslie No I totally agree. 15 year old girls are very impressionable and don t always make the most mature choices when with older and more experienced boys. If the boy really is nice and is mature he should be happy to come over and meet you and visit...

Parenting --Teens: Teenagers and Sexual Curiousity, dear marge, planned parenthood
dear marge, planned parenthood, road approach: Dear Marge: I think this is the hardest part of parenting because sometimes we tr soo hard to do the right thing trying to control the outcome and inspite of our hard efforts our children often choose what we don t want them to choose. Here is my suggestion....

Parenting --Teens: Treating teen depression by self-medicating with marijuana, national merit semifinalist, smoking marijuana
national merit semifinalist, smoking marijuana, teen depression: Hello Ed, Your son should have weekly sessiions with a therapist. And the therapist and the prescribing physician should be aware that he is smoking marijuana. The therapist and prescriber may be concerned about the interaction of marijuana and Prozac. ...

Parenting --Teens: Can't get my 18 year old to get a job, graduation money, gameas
graduation money, gameas, lack of motivation: Hello Yvonne, No, you can t make him get a job and work, just as you can t make him stop playing video gameas or start studying at college. But there are some things you do have control over. The first is his ability to live in your home. You may love...

Parenting --Teens: almost teen daughter, teen daughter, family doctor
teen daughter, family doctor, bipolar: Dear BabyRNFL: I think you already know the answer you just want me to reassure you. She needs to be evaluated now. First I would have her checked out by the family doctor to make sure there is nothing physically going wrong and then get to a counselor...

Parenting --Teens: teen pregnacy, pregnancy tests, pregnant teen
pregnancy tests, pregnant teen, sex: You can buy a urine test kit at the dollar store, and nobody will ever know. Blood tests must be done at doctor s offices or clinics. The real question is, why are you having sex with an underage girl? Do you want to live in juvenile hall? Or worse-if...

Parenting --Teens: teen sex, teen sex, cheating boyfriends
teen sex, cheating boyfriends, group dating: First you must determine how gloomy is gloomy? If she is sinking into a state of depression, you must get her professional help. You didn t mention her age, but it really doesn t matter; sex before marriage can really mess up your life. This is why it...

Parenting --Teens: teenage boys, cross-dressing, adolescent boys
cross-dressing, adolescent boys, porno and youth: Hello, Amanda- Since this was in the pool and not addressed to me directly, I didn t see the question until today, so I m sorry for the delay in answering. Pornography is invasive and can become a problem for anyone-male or female-viewing it. In some...

Parenting --Teens: teenage-relationship with boy's, 14 year old girls, ishu
14 year old girls, ishu, younger girls: Hello Mina, This is all normal behavior. Certainly, though, you have to hope your daughter does nothing really wrong. However, you can expect that if girls (and boys) your deaughter s age do date that some things may happen sooner or later. The more freedom...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son, middle teens, play video games
middle teens, play video games, adding time: Hello Bunny, It sounds like he is going through the same kind of teenage turmoil that a lot of middle teens experience as they come to grips with trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. I think a good therapist would be helpful for him,...

Parenting --Teens: teens and homework, silent treatment, time at home
silent treatment, time at home, schoolwork: Hello Kathy, There are a couple of reasons why your son may not be doing schoolwork or why he s not handing it in. One is that many teens don t like doing school work or don t hand in their schoolwork because they don t feel good about themselves or their...

Parenting --Teens: uncooperative, self centered daughter, homework school, school responsibilities
homework school, school responsibilities, developmental phase: Hello Jan, You probably should find another therapist for her. However, going yourself and gaining support and a plan to deal with her would be helpful. As she has a difficult temperament, it is not healthy for you (and maybe not for her) for you to be...

Parenting --Teens: Virginity?, suicidal thoughts, virginity
suicidal thoughts, virginity, hymen: Will you PLEASE call your psychiatrist? If you are suicidal, I cannot help you. You have never been with a man, so in that sense, you are a virgin. Do you know what virgin means? Virgin olive oil is the first squeeze of the olives. Virgin wood is...

Parenting --Teens: Wild teenage daughter, risky behavior, communication lines
risky behavior, communication lines, teenage daughter: Anita, Your worry shouldn t be that you are going to alienate her. That sounds akin to I don t want her to be made at me... or I want her to still be my friend... You job as a parent is to make sure she is safe. She is showing you that she is making high-risk...

Parenting --Teens: 11 year old son, typical concerns, rule of thumb
typical concerns, rule of thumb, moodiness: Hello Kylie, Eleven year olds are just starting adolescence and they may act somewhat strangely -- and they are sometimes moody. I would say that what you are doing is not working very well. That is, yelling at him and going off on him is not making anything...

Parenting --Teens: 11 year old son who lies, gifted math, math student
gifted math, math student, basketball baseball: Hello Nicole, Yes, it can be frustrating when you have a child who lies. However, it is learned behavior and behavior which is learned can be unlearned. I suspect, as with many children and teens, your son lies for either or both of two basic reasons:...

Parenting --Teens: My 12 year old son totally disrespectful, behavior, teenager
behavior, teenager, power: This is a very difficult question to answer. I often get asked what to do in cases like this and the only way I can answer these questions is to provide general information. I would be more then happy to consider the question further if you were willing...

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old tearful to leave the house, leaving childhood, adolescent boys
leaving childhood, adolescent boys, thoughts and feelings: Hello Dave, Becoming an adolescent is a difficult time of adjustment for many children. Often children entering the teen years have a certain amount of ambivalence about growing up and being confronted with new responsibilities and expectations. It is...

Parenting --Teens: 12 yr old sneaking around/lying, time mom, good relationship
time mom, good relationship, good kid: Michelle, You need to get to her heart first of all. It is normal she doesn t want you to know everything about her, but she specifically went against something you instructed. This needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. She needs to know that if...

Parenting --Teens: 12yr old
Hi Archie, You re welcome. She may be a girl that you and your wife may have to monitor regularly (weekly!# when it comes to her school work and organization. I m guessing that she s caught up in all the social things #both good and bad) at school and...

Parenting --Teens: 17 yr old son, good kid, homeless shelter
good kid, homeless shelter, moral values: Debra, You should let him go. He has made his decisions and is doing what he is supposed to do....embark on his own. I would suggest that with your girls you make sure they understand that the world is not all about them. What you could do is take them to...

Parenting --Teens: my 8 year old son, school counselor, twitter
school counselor, twitter, all fours: Dear Tasha, I am glad you took the steps to get to a counselor. While naked play is normal within a year or two of the child s age range...and 8 year old is 6 years older than a 2 year old. I can hear your fear. It won t help you or them. You did the...

Parenting --Teens: 8 yr spoiled boy, pets family, mammas boy
pets family, mammas boy, loving boy: Hello Melissa, As to your major question of should you have him removed from the home for a week, I would say that that is potentially dangerous. It s dangerous because inevitably you will be lying to him and you re relying on fear to cause him to change....

Parenting --Teens: Angry 18 year old son...., stable family environment, join the marines
stable family environment, join the marines, work ethics: Hello Miss D. Sorry to hear about all of the problems you ve had with your son. I understand you don t want to turn your back on him or abandon him, however, it s not fair for you or the rest of your family to have to put up with his various misbehaviors,...

Parenting --Teens: How would a adult women feel when she hears this, adult women, adult woman
adult women, adult woman, child support: Hello, I suspect that most adult women, having contact with a father who abandoned them, and hearing that he wasn t in her life because he didn t want to pty child support is likely to feel anger and resentment toward this man. She is likely to think that...

Parenting --Teens: My boyfriend hates my son, lifelong relationship, learning disabilities
lifelong relationship, learning disabilities, character flaws: Dear Darcy, Well you do well to worry about your son s emotional well being. You gave birth to your son and I hope you are hoping to have a lifelong relationship with him. A boyfriend however is someone you date. If he is having such an extreme reaction...

Parenting --Teens: boyfriend teen is very verbally abusive to him, respect children, abusive parent
respect children, abusive parent, none of your business: Dear LeeAnn, Well yes you are putting your nose into something that is none of your business. However, the person responsible for taking action here is the man you are dating. I think you need to be upfront with him and tell him as much as he may love his...

Parenting --Teens: boys 13 and 10, chalk and cheese, substantial issues
chalk and cheese, substantial issues, squabble: Hello Deepa, It is not easy raising children, particularly as they are entering the teenage years. Nor is it easy to tolerate siblings bickering with each other. But you deserve credit for continuing to try to be a good father despite the frustration that...

Parenting --Teens: Why is this the case with both parrents, and the child is happy in Japan, us state department, japanese mother
us state department, japanese mother, us passport: Hello, Why do people who were once in love become bitter and angery toward each other after they break up? For various reasons. Often, one or the other of them feels betrayed or they are emotionally hurt by the break up. It is very difficult for some people...

Parenting --Teens: conflict between live in partner and college student living at home, fucking bitch, dinner guests
fucking bitch, dinner guests, sunday dinner: Dear Jeanette, She is 18 abuses you and disrespect you and what exactly do you need help with? Let her leave. Why you haven t told her she can t come back is beyond me. She is obviously old enough to make her own decisions and take responsibility for her...

Parenting --Teens: custody, stay at home mom, joint custody
stay at home mom, joint custody, step mother: Dear Brandy, If you are telling me everything then you need to stop worrying so much and just focus on how much you love your children. Taking him back to court is going to do nothing to your children but improve their lives. Make sure you document...

Parenting --Teens: daughter and half-brothers, hard drugs, half brothers
hard drugs, half brothers, health insurance: Hi Marisa, You ve offered compromises. You must set the boundares for what you can accept and what you can t. For instance, you may say that he cannot stay in your home, but you can put him up in a hotel. He can spend Christmas day with you so he has a...

Parenting --Teens: Being Forced to do things., god father, simonsen
god father, simonsen, dear mr: Jaz, I m pretty sure that the cops won t make you go. Plus, if you aren t around they won t be able to do anything. If you drive I would suggest you negotiate with your mother about things. Show up later after the vet comes by something like that. David...

Parenting --Teens: Punishment does not fit the crime, authoritarian parenting style, dynamic period
Parenting --Teens: Punishment does not fit the crime, authoritarian parenting style, dynamic period, building rapport

Parenting --Teens: help, james windell, spoilt brat
james windell, spoilt brat, working with families: Hello Berny, Your daughter does need help and you did the right thing by taking her to counseling before. However, now she is still troubled and it doesn t sound like things are getting better. I think you have three options. One, is to have her go live...

Parenting --Teens: Lack of motivation, not sleeping, no direction 19 years old, lack of motivation, adult relationship
lack of motivation, adult relationship, career decisions: Dear Michele, Well first of all she is 19. Stop trying to parent a 19 year old. If she hasn t gotten it by now it isn t going to happen. Next own up to the responsibility of teaching others how to treat you. If she is living at home and not getting...

Parenting --Teens: Lying, freshman year, good kid
freshman year, good kid, telling the truth: Hello Steven, I don t think lying is hereditary. I believe it is learned behavior. Adolescents often lie because it is a way to avoid responsibility and, perhaps more importantly, because they have so many self-image related issues during the middle teen...

Parenting --Teens: lieing to get out of work, young adult, good understanding
young adult, good understanding, mistrust: Hello Patricia, I think you generally have a pretty good understanding of why he lies. No need to spend time trying to understand that. He lies to get out of things, to cover up inadequate work, and/or to avoid admitting his shortcomings. And all of this...

Parenting --Teens: How would a little girl feel toward her father when she is told this, international divorce, bavaria germany
international divorce, bavaria germany, divorce lawyer: Hello, A little girl s reaction to learning about such a prenuptial agreement would very likely be colored by her feelings toward both parents. If she loved her father and felt close to him, she might think it was a good agreement. If she was closer to her...

Parenting --Teens: my mother is going crazy. i dont know why?, james windell, smart person
james windell, smart person, freaks: Hello Kelly, Your mother might be overprotective. She may be overly concerned about keeping you safe. However, you are only 15. There is no way a 15-year-old should have freedom to run their life. You may be a very smart person and you might have excellent...

Parenting --Teens: mother/son, good work ethics, discipline issues
good work ethics, discipline issues, hello angel: Hello Angel, Based on what you ve written to me, I don t know why your sons are alienated from you. However, I can ask some questions which may help shed some light on this: 1. Did your oldest son go through a period of time when he was more angry, defiant,...

Parenting --Teens: mother son relationship, step dad, words of wisdom
step dad, words of wisdom, twitter: Chad, Parents often make the mistake of allowing a step parent to correct or discipline their child. This of course builds up resentment in the child. Have you tried talking to you mother? I would suggest using lots of I statement and not using foul...

Parenting --Teens: How old would a child need be to recognize that the dolphin is friendly in the Ocean to humans, bottlenose dolphin, cognitive abilities
bottlenose dolphin, cognitive abilities, dolphin: Hello, The answer depends on a number of factors. First, just talking about the cognitive abilities of a child, certainly a child between six and 10 could understand that a dolphin was friendly. Second, however, if the child was drowning, this is a traumatic...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting Help needed, parent teacher conference, lucky kid
parent teacher conference, lucky kid, happy child: Hello Dan, I suspect that some damage was done during the years you and his mother were in conflict. His being caught in the middle was obviously very stressful for him and that is simply compounding some of the normal adjustment problems of adolescence....

Parenting --Teens: My Parents are way too Overprotective, Freedom, college
Freedom, college: First of all, let me put this question into perspective....Your at college with a maid, your at college with someone to pick up after you, help you when you need it and watch over you so nothing bad happens. Sure this may seem a bit on the extreme side but...

Parenting --Teens: Physical Abuse in an Eleven Year Old, abuse, grades
abuse, grades: You may not be able to convince your friend about this abhorrent behavior. If these beating are injurious to the child and I mean cruel in there scope and psychologically damaging then you may want to consider calling the local authorities. If on the other...

Parenting --Teens: Please Help, secure school, previous schools
secure school, previous schools, money box: Hello Laura, I m sorry to hear about how much of a nightmare it is to live with your son. As to the missing laptop, your son has stolen before and has charges for burglary; the strong implication is that he has stolen it. I don t think you have much choice...

Parenting --Teens: Punishment does not fit the crime, adult supervision, hoop earrings
adult supervision, hoop earrings, first kiss: Hello Nicky, The only way you are a pushover is by allowing your boyfriend to co-parent. This would not be appropriate even if he were your husband and your daughter s stepfather. As he is only a boyfriend, it is totally inappropriate. You need to change...

Parenting --Teens: If a single man wants to adopt a child in the USA, would it be difficult for him to fine a healthy child, private adoption, adoption agency
private adoption, adoption agency, single man: Hello, I don t know how easy it would be to arrange a private adoption without going through an adoption agency. I don t believe that a social services agency would work with someone to bring about a private adoption; nor do I believe that a social services...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Drinking, powerless place, child welfare
powerless place, child welfare, teen drinking: Theresa, You are in a powerless place as the step-parent. Please don t have any kids with this man. He is clearly letting you now that he doesn t take his role in parenting very serious. What I would suggest is that you call Child welfare and report him anonymously....

Parenting --Teens: My teen is asking difficult questions., abusive family relationships
abusive family relationships: Dear Katherine, This is a tough one. It s actually amazing this conversation has been delayed so long! Is it possible to explain to Violet exactly what you told me? Girls of thirteen are very perceptive, and she will most likely be glad you decided to help...

Parenting --Teens: My teen is asking difficult questions., talking to teens, parents
talking to teens, parents: Katherine, You tell her the truth. You explain the events like you explained to me and then further explain that a family is a unit of people who love and trust and do every thing they can to uplift and support, his family did not do these things. Children...

Parenting --Teens: My teen is asking difficult questions., katherine katherine, intimate details
katherine katherine, intimate details, family trees: Katherine, Life can be upsetting. It s better you help your child through this so she can learn to manage her own emotion about things eventually. Protecting her will only not teach her how to deal with emotions. I think she is old enough to know why there...

Parenting --Teens: My teen is asking difficult questions., twitter, difficult questions
twitter, difficult questions, family trees: Dear Katherine, Reading your note I can tell you and your husband have wanted only the best for you daughter she is lucky to have you both. Tell her the truth. She is old enough to handle it and it will be good for her to see the difference between how...

Parenting --Teens: My teen is asking difficult questions., difficult questions, sensitive areas
difficult questions, sensitive areas, young teens: Hi Katherine, She s been thinking about this! The key to this series of questions concerns love -- and love for her. That is, she is probably asking: Am I loved by you and will you ever stop loving me? If this is the key, then that s what you need to...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about an 18 year old mother, cordial relationship, jumping to conclusions
cordial relationship, jumping to conclusions, biological father: Hello, Your question has to do with what we can determine about this young mother based on the facts you presented, right? I think what the information you presented says is that she expects there to be conflict with the father of her child. However,...

Parenting --Teens: Would this man be a good man
Hello, There are all sorts of ways of measuring whether a man is a good man. The way he treats his children may be one way of determining if a man is a good man. If his children love him and he is able to give them what they need from a father, then maybe...

Parenting --Teens: Would a ten year old be able to comprehend the following, child custody laws, international divorce
child custody laws, international divorce, passport requirements: Hello, I m sure most 10-year-olds would be completely lost in such discussions or instruction. A 10-year-old just doesn t have the life experiences to understand any of this. In addition to that, this is completely inappropriate to be telling a child....

Parenting --Teens: I think someone needs help and I don't know what to do., abuse counselor, straight days
abuse counselor, straight days, doings: Hello Jacob, It sounds like you are a good friend to her and you want to help her. Certainly, talking to an abuse counselor may help you to better understand her situation. However, you can t rescue her from a situation from which she does not want rescuing....

Parenting --Teens: 13-year-old boy's actions, physical affection, payment settlement
physical affection, payment settlement, look in his eyes: Hello Michael, If you consider the background here, you ll see that your fiancee has encouraged a lot of closeness with her children. Apparently, this teen has been very closely attached to his mother and she was encouraged this by physical affection and...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old son, english tutor, school assignments
english tutor, school assignments, academic world: Hello Alex, I think what you are asking is: How can we take a boy who is uninterested in academics and school and turn him in to a scholar who is self-motivated? My answer to this is that you will NOT be able to do this through punishment. Being punished...

Parenting --Teens: 16 year old sons rebellious attitude, rebellious attitude, younger siblings
rebellious attitude, younger siblings, rough childhood: Hello Wendy, Your son may be driving you crazy, but I don t think he s real happy about himself either. And while he may not be able to put into words why he s upset and angry, he is clearly unhappy with himself and probably with you. Although some of...

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old boy, teen outburst, kids
teen outburst, kids: This is a very easy question to answer the problem is in how hard it is to implement. Your son has taken upon himself the attributes of adulthood and should now be expected to act like an adult and have the consequences of an adult as well. This is where...

Parenting --Teens: 18 and immature, poor choices, good heart
poor choices, good heart, poor choice: Lori, Don t listen to your heart. It is leading you astray. I would suggest his car be off limits and thus he wouldn t need to pay for insurance. He needs to learn without you being a safety net for him. If you don t stop being the safety net he will be 30...

Parenting --Teens: Advice, 13 year-old boys, struggles
13 year-old boys, struggles, direction: Dear Alex, You are describing the typical 13 year-old boy now residing in many homes in the USA. At 13, boys are smart enough to see what s going on in the world, and a lot of it sucks. They see they can study hard, graduate from college, even get an...

Parenting --Teens: Advice Stepmothering, stepmothering, 2girls
stepmothering, 2girls, acceptable behavior: Kalungi, The problem is that you are in a powerless position with those 4 kids. If your husband is not willing to do anything you are stuck. All you can really do is be clear about what is acceptable behavior and what is not. If they violate what you and...

Parenting --Teens: Why would an American father do this, parental abduction, legal recourse
parental abduction, legal recourse, japanese mother: Hello, I m sure both the mother and father believe their country to have the best and most just laws. Will the children be satisfied? No matter if they like living in Japan and that they have a loving mother. They would still want a relationship with their...

Parenting --Teens: age matters, age matters, sexual relationships
age matters, sexual relationships, mixed feelings: Hello Melissa, I am all in favor of fairly strict controls on children and teens. And, for the most part, I am against teen girls dating older guys. The danger for girls is that older guys may pressure them into sexual relationships before the girls are...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior, problems child, discipline
problems child, discipline: Thanks for the question and let me assure you that I completely understand your dilemma. As a parent our feeling for our children, often times regardless of who they are or what they have done falls into the category of unconditional love. Loving someone...

Parenting --Teens: Custody awarded, parenting role, step dad
parenting role, step dad, great relationship: Hello Catherine, I m happy to hear that you are nervous about this. You should be. What I mean by this is that I WOULD be nervous if you weren t. Many stepparents think that when a child or teen comes to live with them that because the stepparent is so...

Parenting --Teens: When and how do you call it quits?, high as a kite, selling drugs
high as a kite, selling drugs, nuclear medicine: Hello Angel, Sometimes you just have to admit there s nothing you can to do to help a child. That seems to be where you re at with your son. I was wondering if in Florida you can file an incorrigibility complaint against a 17-year-old in the juvenile court....

Parenting --Teens: Why is this the case with children, stable family life, good mother
stable family life, good mother, little girls: Hello, If the child has lived with her father since she was a toddler, then this is all she remembers and all she knows. Therefore, she is comfortable living with her father. Apparently, he has been a good father and she has no reason to want to change houses....

Parenting --Teens: Why is this the case with man, women in the 1950s, father and daughter relationship
women in the 1950s, father and daughter relationship, avoiding child support: Hello, It doesn t matter how a co-parent acts or behaves. Usually conflict comes about because one person felt betrayed, disappointed, or let down by the other person. Typically, people enter relationships, even if they are short-term relationships, with...

Parenting --Teens: Would this child live in a broken home yes or no, best friend in the world, assistance money
best friend in the world, assistance money, hello children: Hello, children should not be told they live in a broken home. Homes (and families) are not broken if the parents work together to co-parent in a cooperative manner. I prefer to think of families as redefined after parents separate (or divorce). When...

Parenting --Teens: Out of control 17 yr. old!!!, probation rules, violating probation
probation rules, violating probation, court ordered drug rehab: Hello Mark, In Michigan, minors become adults at age 17. Which is why he was released from juvenile probation. My suggestion is that you give him 10 days to move out. At the same time, go to the Circuit Court and get a Personal Protection Order against...

Parenting --Teens: What my dad should be, role models, chauffer
role models, chauffer, frustrations: Hello Spencer, I don t know what you should expect of your father. What do YOU expect of him? I think most teenagers expect their fathers to be a part of their lives. They expect their fathers to be loving, supportive, and kind. They also expect their...

Parenting --Teens: daughter and half-brothers, hard drugs, half brothers
hard drugs, half brothers, health insurance: Hi Marisa, You ve offered compromises. You must set the boundares for what you can accept and what you can t. For instance, you may say that he cannot stay in your home, but you can put him up in a hotel. He can spend Christmas day with you so he has a...

Parenting --Teens: drained by 14yr old daughter, family chores, self esteem issues
family chores, self esteem issues, bus money: Hello Angela, I m sure your daughter is probably normal and going through a difficult period in her life. Fourteen and 15-year-olds often present adjustment problems as they try to cope with high school, peers, self-esteem issues, physical changes, and finding...

Parenting --Teens: Family Rules, movie mom, leftover food
movie mom, leftover food, messy room: Dear Jim, You are absolutely right in the way you say you would have handled this. First the room. Our oldest daughter went through a period of a totally messy room. My rules were that she had to clean it up herself whatever or whenever that was done....

Parenting --Teens: Frustrated step-mom on the verge of divorce, step mom, horrific conditions
step mom, horrific conditions, kids name: Hello Vicki, Nothing you are feeling is unusual or wrong? Your feelings are your feelings. And why do you feel like an idiot with a 15-year-old? Because that s their job in life: to make parents and many adults feel like idiots! They do this by talking...

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old boy, someway, hard time
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old boy, someway, hard time, good luck

Parenting --Teens: Help, vision work, school behavior
vision work, school behavior, bad mood: If your son has had these habits a long time, one thing s for sure, you must put a stop to this now, in his own best interests as well as yours. It s possible that he may have a problem with focus and attention. Have some tests done if you can; the school...

Parenting --Teens: hitting, sick to my stomach, computer mouse
sick to my stomach, computer mouse, youngest son: Dear Marcia You say this is recent behavior...that it has only been lately that she acted this way... A change in the behavior of any child at any age is a red flag that something is not right. Are there any changes going on in her life that may have...

Parenting --Teens: Looking for help, grand parents, sport activity
grand parents, sport activity, time with family: Hello Alex, Moving your son to a different school might help him to start over. However, I would not be in favor of a military school, unless your son expressed an interest in military schools. From what you told me about your son, I suspect he would not...

Parenting --Teens: Mother issue, hypocrite, chores
hypocrite, chores, funny thing: Hello Alex, I m sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you with your mother. You may be right that she finds it upsetting that her baby is growing up and is not always as compliant as he once was. However, her way of trying to get you to be more...

Parenting --Teens: i need help with my 15 year old brother, Right/wrong, learning
Right/wrong, learning, drug abuse: Dear Jenny, I know the feeling well, as I was in exactly the same place with my younger brother once, when he was 15, and I was 23. It was a little different, as I was working as a nanny in someone else s home, and they allowed me to let my brother live...

Parenting --Teens: How old would a child have to be in order to understand the concept of a DNA test, american women suck, adult matters
american women suck, adult matters, dna test: Hello, A child as young as seven or eight could understand the concept of a test to show who was the father. However, the whole concept of paternity testing and whether American women suck or not is really information that should not be discussed with...

Parenting --Teens: open to some advice, james windell, dealing with a kid
james windell, dealing with a kid, wits end: Hello Ronna, I support your telling him he has to move out and get a job. He has had several months of being taken care of; now he needs to be forced to take care of himself. He has a year of tech school, so he has some skills. He clearly has the ability...

Parenting --Teens: Please Help, male friend, stepdad
male friend, stepdad, good kid: Hello Van, Sure, we d like all of our adolescents to see their education as their first priority. However, it doesn t quite work that way because of their need for relationships. Your daughter s interest in this other girl has not gone away despite your...

Parenting --Teens: Problem with 12 year old step-daughter, computer logs, sanitary towels
computer logs, sanitary towels, sanitary towel: Hello Helen, There s obviously no doubt that you re right. Your partner s daughter needs a father to provide guidance and discipline. However, like many other parents, he is afraid to provide the structure and discipline she needs because he is fearful of...

Parenting --Teens: parenting a 14 year old boy with ADHD,ODD,Bi-Polar, military boot camp, nervous condition
military boot camp, nervous condition, defiant disorder: Hello Trenna, If you re just looking for residential treatment facilities, all you have to do is put residential treatment facilities for teens into Google -- and you ll get hundreds of hits. You can then narrow them down in terms of states or types of...

Parenting --Teens: Reply, to answer, Motivation, goals
Motivation, goals, expectations for teens: So, you and your wife have decided that your son, who is already getting fairly high marks in school, should get higher grades? You want him to study harder to get these higher marks, and not use tutors, which are provided for him, for help? Ask yourselves...

Parenting --Teens: rude behaviour, james windell, immature manner
james windell, immature manner, lack of motivation: Hello Suresh, Many adolescents upon graduating from school are unable to seemingly find themselves. These young people seem to lack motivation or direction. Some, perhaps your daughter is one, act in an immature manner towards their parents asking for what...

Parenting --Teens: Seeking Counseling Services, james windell, michigan psychological association
james windell, michigan psychological association, substance abuse problems: Hello Michael, Searches on the Internet will turn up many counseling services, clinics, and clinicians. But the question is: How do you narrow them down to some counselors or therapists who may be suited to your son? One way is to go to the website of...

Parenting --Teens: Skin Bleaching and control,, self esteem
self esteem: The best way to alter an individuals desire to change who they are is to help them to understand who they are from a deep and satisfying level. Beyond that, students and adults who fail to understand themselves, create a level of esteem that helps them to...

Parenting --Teens: Teen male behavior, holding a guitar, male behavior
holding a guitar, male behavior, uncomfortable moment: Hello Susan, What you seem to be saying is that you are concerned that your son may be gay. At this point I don t know that you have to say anything to him. He is not doing anything wrong and he may just admire other males, particularly older males, in...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager dating woman with teenaged daughter, parenting issue, patchwork family
parenting issue, patchwork family, sexual love: Dear Merci, Don t sit and watch anymore. As a matter of fact find something else to do with your time. While you may not agree with the situation both parties are over 18. The interesting part of life is each of us has to learn and grow at our own rate...

Parenting --Teens: Trouble's with unfairness and always being grounded, soccer player, violinist
soccer player, violinist, unfairness: Katii, I strongly suggest that you should start talking to your school counselor. This definitely sounds like abuse that should get you out of the home. You need to talk to someone about what is going on.. If you don t then you will stay stuck in it. David...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter and "dating", full time job, iron fist
full time job, iron fist, intimate communication: Hello Laurie, You have a lot going on in your family. Fortunately, there is a therapist involved. I hope that you are talking to the therapist and may be able to get some helpful feedback about dealing with your daughter. Due to your daughter s relative...

Parenting --Teens: My teen saughter wasnts to live with her father, adult matters, children of divorce
adult matters, children of divorce, custodial parent: Hello Tabitha, These become difficult situations. Almost all children of divorce want to go live with the non-custodial parent at some point. Sometimes it is because they are mad at their custodial parent; sometimes it s because the grass looks greener on...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about an American mother?, deadbeat father, american mothers
deadbeat father, american mothers, american mother: Hello, You say that many American mothers tell the father of their child that if they want to avoid child support they should move back to Europe. I don t know if this is true or not. I deal with hundreds of parents, often in custody and child support payment...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a duel US/German national living in Germany, swiss law, living in germany
swiss law, living in germany, bankruptcy court: Hello, This tells me that this man is willing to spend money on lawyers and on finding ways to avoid paying child support but he is not willing to contribute money to help support his child. Millions of parents world wide pay child support and are comfortable...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell about a man, long term relationships, physical relationship
long term relationships, physical relationship, man a man: Hello, This says that this man does not want any long-term relationships with women. He wants to have a physical relationship with women, but that s all he wants. It s hoped that women can see this about him fairly quickly so they understand the limits...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a man?, country greece, financial obligation
country greece, financial obligation, american daughter: Hello, Just because someone doesn t like the system in family courts in the USA is not a sufficient reason to avoid supporting a daughter you helped to create. Men who want to be good fathers step up and do what is right. That means helping to support...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a man he is 35 years old at the time of her birth?, grand parents, girl lives
grand parents, girl lives, submissive woman: Hello, It says that he probably enjoys being a father to his daughter. He likes the freedom he has. And as long as he doesn t have financial obligations, he will be kind and generous to his daughter. His daughter s mother accepts this situation. So, I...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a mother, money is the root of all evil, root of all evil
money is the root of all evil, root of all evil, good relationship: Hello, This tells me that this woman is very tolerant and truly believes, perhaps, that money is the root of all evil. The original saying is really The love of money is the root of all evil, and that might be more of a truism. However, as long as...

Parenting --Teens: Unsocial 16 year old, volunteer work, wits end
volunteer work, wits end, school clubs: Joane, From what you describe it doesn t seem that your teen is completely in an outrageous place in his life. It may not be where you want him to be, but from your description he seems to be more or less happy with things the way they are. What I would be...

Parenting --Teens: My 13 yr old daughter, disrespectful young teen girl, stepfamilies
disrespectful young teen girl, stepfamilies: Dear Tracy, After reading the first third of your letter, I was really hoping Briana had a good relationship with her father. I think she is in the right place. Until she ASKS to visit, it may be best to keep her where she is most content. I know that is...

Parenting --Teens: 18 years son visitting his girfriend, curfew
curfew: To answer your question you need to understand what the word respect is. Respect is: the condition of being esteemed or honored: to be held in respect. If your son is not abiding by your demands and fails to follow your rules then he is not respecting who...

Parenting --Teens: 18 yr old son, james windell, breaking things
james windell, breaking things, everyone elses: Hello Angela, Your son is a teenager. Need I say more! However, he is immature. Many teenagers are more like your son when they are 15 or 16. By age 18, many adolescents are thinking more about the future and focused on college or training for a job or...

Parenting --Teens: ADHD, james windell, boys and girls
james windell, boys and girls, kelsey: Hello Kelsey, I ve never seen any research that shows that this is true, although it may be true. Boys may be more vulnerable during pregnancy and thus be more likely to be damaged by their mothers smoking. However, research I ve seen indicates that both...

Parenting --Teens: Corporal punishment in public schools, corporal punishment in public schools, coporal punishment
corporal punishment in public schools, coporal punishment, james windell: Hello Bob, Coporal punishment has the effect of making children feel degraded and more hostile and angry. While it may seem to correct misbehavior, in the long run it creates more hostile and aggressive behavior. In other words, spanking a child or hitting...

Parenting --Teens: Why is this case with children?, hugs and kisses, life hell
hugs and kisses, life hell, relation ship: Hello, If both parents are happy with the arrangement and are not fighting with each other about it, then the child (no matter how old she is) will feel okay about their arrangement and their relationship. She might decide when she gets older and understands...

Parenting --Teens: How would a child feel toward her father and her mother, family court judges, family judge
family court judges, family judge, bitter divorce: Hello, How this child feels about her mother and father would depend on what she remembers and what she s been told about them. If she s been living with her father s mother, she may have heard sympathetic things about her father and perhaps negative...

Parenting --Teens: How would this child feel toward her mother, life in the future, resentment
life in the future, resentment, anger: Hello, This child may feel anger and resentment toward her mother. She may also feel the same things toward her father. However, she may be more likely to blame her mother that her father is not in her life. In the future, she may seek out her father against...

Parenting --Teens: Dating European women over American women, rocky relationship, lifetime commitment
rocky relationship, lifetime commitment, culture difference: Hello, I don t think it requires much interviewing skill in order to determine what a woman expects of marriage. Ask any woman what they want out of marriage and you re likely to get a detailed enough answer to let you determine whether they are a gold digger...

Parenting --Teens: Deliberately unsupportive?, long distance relationship, roadblocks
long distance relationship, roadblocks, quot: Hello Caterina, We know generally why parents try to put roadblocks in the way of their kids -- especially their daughters -- dating. Most often they are fearful of what could go wrong. I think in addressing this with your mother, you have to do more then...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter and her boyfriend, developmental stages, sweet boy
developmental stages, sweet boy, boyfriends: Dear Destiny, I think this is like trying to clean up spilled milk. Have you thought about encouraging her to get the birthcontrol shot? Something so you will know she is on birthcontrol? At this point it is going to be a challenge to keep them apart and...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter got an F in Social Studies, Social studies homework, kids
Social studies homework, kids, F Grades: Dear Tony, Grounding is so overused by so many parents, and what does it actually have to do with your daughter s grades? No, I think a better thing would be for you to get involved. Kids who suddenly get an F often have other motives, and a lot of the...

Parenting --Teens: How to deal with an awkward moment: My daughter walked in on me?, alternative lifestyle, single mom
alternative lifestyle, single mom, awkward moment: Cindy, I need you to hear me clearly. This is not about JUDGING you. I disagree with parents who drink and smoke weed with their children. As Parents we are responsible for keeping our children safe. There are LAWS against allowing children under the...

Parenting --Teens: diffiult son, creature of habit, dyspraxia
creature of habit, dyspraxia, gcses: Hello Michelle, I would agree that your son is a bit different than your other children. I don t think putting another label on him is going to do any good. The labels he was given at age 10 (dyslexia and dyspraxia) were virtually meaningless then and they...

Parenting --Teens: Fear of being corrected/shouted at, household chores, maids
household chores, maids, advices: Hello Valerie, You re not going to change your mother. But you can change how you react to your mother. To begin, it s important for you to realistically assess whether you are stupid or not. Of course, you and I both know you are not stupid. In fact,...

Parenting --Teens: diffiult son, asperger s syndrome, social awkwardness
Parenting --Teens: diffiult son, asperger s syndrome, social awkwardness, ashlynn

Parenting --Teens: Isolated Teen Boy, social engagements, child psychologist
social engagements, child psychologist, peer relationships: Hello Steve, Of course, peer relationships and friendships are important in healthy development. But is he unhappy? Is he complaining that he has no friends and no one likes him? I don t think so. This is a dad being concerned about his son. There s nothing...

Parenting --Teens: Would a little girl be willing to see her uncle (motherís brother) every week just to make him happy, biological father, abandonment
biological father, abandonment, little girl: Hello, I don t think a girl would see an uncle just to make him happy until she was much older and could understand his need for a relationship with her. When she is younger, her main concern would be as to whether he is kind and loving to her. If he were,...

Parenting --Teens: netbook appropriate gift?, james windell, own personal computer
james windell, own personal computer, adult place: Hello Dorothy, It depends. While all children need to learn to be proficient at using computers, whether a preteen actually needs their own personal computer to carry around with them is the real question. Is this girl likely to be responsible in caring...

Parenting --Teens: Parental Alienation, parental alienation, parenting plan
parental alienation, parenting plan, good mother: Cindy, Usually there is a parenting plan that attempts to lay out what parents should or shouldn t say about one another. I would also have a conversation with your daughter about it. Don t confront her about it. Just let her know that you found these texts...

Parenting --Teens: Son may be addicted to marijuana, night arguments, smoking marijuana
night arguments, smoking marijuana, smoking pot: Hello Aime, There s no maybe about it. He is addicted to marijuana. And just because he says it s a joke to go to rehab for using marijuana, that s just a ploy to avoid getting help. But he needs help because he obviously can t stop using on his own. ...

Parenting --Teens: Son's disrespect for Father, problems at school, husband don
problems at school, husband don, nuclear family: Hello Kim, This is a situation that not only causes considerable tension in the family but also places you in the middle as mediator/peacekeeper. And that s not a comfortable position at all to be in. I suspect that what has happened is that your son has...

Parenting --Teens: Stealing and Lying, adhd children, wits end
adhd children, wits end, adhd: Hello Jocelynn, Sorry to hear that your daughter is so frustrating for you. Since your daughter has been diagnosed as ADHD, then we know that part of the problem is her impulsivity. Also, many ADHD children just don t learn much from punishment and consequences....

Parenting --Teens: Step-dad issues., step dad
step dad: Dear Tim, I don t have a magic crystal ball to read into your mind. I am sure that you are not going to make yourself like someone you don t like. Here is what I can suggest. Sit somewhere quietly and ask yourself what specifically (behaviors or character...

Parenting --Teens: sexually active child, sex too early, teen sex issues
sex too early, teen sex issues, proper dating formula: Oh, Jill, my heart hurts reading your story. You do the best you can, and somehow, something this important slips into your life, and boy...how can you deal? It s tough! In times past, families stayed together, went to church at least once per week, and...

Parenting --Teens: stealing and hording, tv privileges, food wrappers
tv privileges, food wrappers, kitchen table: Hello Anna, I m sure your daughter has no explanation for stealing or hoarding, or for failing to hand in assignments. The reason why she won t have any kind of explanation is because this is behavior which is basically unconscious. She may realize she has...

Parenting --Teens: stepdaughters, passive aggressive behaviour, escape goat
passive aggressive behaviour, escape goat, hurtful words: There are other experts on this site that may be able to offer a differing perspective. Keep in mind that a perspective is only as good as the facts behind that view. My answer was based on over twenty years as a special education teacher and administrator...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Dating, age gap, backtrack
age gap, backtrack, do the right thing: Cathy, I agree with you that this is definitely a difficult situation. As I think about it, it all relates to what kind of relationship you have with her. It also is about what you have said as she was growing up about dating. If you have said she could date...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Sister, out of control teen, stealing
out of control teen, stealing: Please excuse my bluntness but your parents are weak and that weakness will be the ultimate destruction of you sister. She needs to be held accountable and regardless of your parents inability to act like responsible parents, someone needs to confront her...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Smoking Pot, james windell, random drug testing
james windell, random drug testing, adequate supervision: Hello Mike, I suspect your son is reacting to his entrance into adolescence along with his reacting to the events surrounding your separation. Given that this may be true, and since you are providing adequate supervision, I recommend that your whole family...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son and behaviorial issues, disaster area, assignements
disaster area, assignements, human characteristics: Hello Del, Your son is probably going through an adolescent adjustment period where he perhaps feels adrift in life. The fact that he works, attends school, is active in sports, and gets along with (and is liked by) teachers says that he is holding it...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell about a man, flight to jordan, determent
flight to jordan, determent, us passport: Hello, How do I feel about this? I feel sad for the daughter. In this situation you have a father who only cares about what he thinks is right and is not really thinking of what is in the best interest of his daughter. His thinking about why he is keeping...

Parenting --Teens: Do you think that this child will know the truth in the next few days yes or no, maria jose carrascosa, record staff writer
maria jose carrascosa, record staff writer, bergen county jail: Hello, I don t think she should be encouraged to learn all the facts in the case until she is interested. Usually parents and caregivers answer questions when children ask them. If she wants to know about her father, for interest, she should be encouraged...

Parenting --Teens: my 11 yr old daughter staying out late????, pre-teen curfew, new friends
pre-teen curfew, new friends, bad influences: Hello, Rebecca- An eleven-year-old girl has no business prowling the streets at night even in a good neighborhood. You can appeal to her sense of right by being a good example to her younger brothers and sisters, and keeping strict time limits. Eight...

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old - Selfish, inconsiderate but good overall, cell phone charger, poor decisions
cell phone charger, poor decisions, locked room: Sarah, The issue I think is that her heart is not being reached or dealt with. I would imagine she doesn t really know where she fits in in this new family. She probably steals and such in order to make things her own. I have a couple thoughts. A family should...

Parenting --Teens: 13 y.o. boy: homework and internet porn, homework issues, parenting challenges
homework issues, parenting challenges, homework completion: Hello Hales, Yes, the adolescent years do bring new challenges for parents. You always have to be ready to take on those challenges. Your son, at 13, has very few privacy rights. Would you be concerned about his privacy rights if you suspected he had...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old, james windell, taking responsibility
james windell, taking responsibility, reminders: Hello Denise, It seems that yelling hasn t worked. So, it may be time for a new approach. If you want her to be more mature, you need to teach her to accept more responsibility. One way to do this is to use questions and prompts rather than a direct order...

Parenting --Teens: 14 y.o. son failing high school, doesn't care, typical freshman, social relationships
typical freshman, social relationships, wits end: Hello Leah, The fact is your son may not know why he is struggling in school. There are, however, lots of possible reasons for him to be struggling. He could have learning problems; he could be depressed related to the family issues; he may have fairly typical...

Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old, auditory processing disorder, intrinsic motivation
auditory processing disorder, intrinsic motivation, negative consequences: Hello Bo, Many children and teens have no intrinsic motivation to do school work or strive for excellence. To them, school work is drudgery and a chore to avoid if possible. Sometimes they get this way because they have learning disabilities that make school...

Parenting --Teens: 15 yo with slipping grades, james windell, test anxiety
james windell, test anxiety, experience test: Hello Ann, There s a lot more to this that both you -- and I -- ought to know. For instance, what is she capable of achieving at school? Is she only capable of C grades? Or is she very bright? Have you ever had her tested by a psychologist to see what...

Parenting --Teens: 15yo son, Peeping son, masturbating
Peeping son, masturbating, son watching mother: This one is very difficult, and I cannot stress enough your need for professional help. If you can t afford a psychiatrist, you need to ask for help from the social services department where you live; someone who helps with family issues (different countries...

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter, juvenile laws, filthy habits
juvenile laws, filthy habits, slippery slope: Hello Moira, You may be able to evict your daughter, however, it depends on the juvenile laws in your state. For the most part, juvenile authorities will do nothing about you kicking out a 17-year-old because in many states she becomes a legal adult (at...

Parenting --Teens: 18 Year Old Daughter, freshman at university, dating
freshman at university, dating, first kiss: My daughter didn t have her first kiss until she was 22. She was very driven in her career, and was also deeply religious. She had plenty of dates, but didn t want to lead anyone on as to her intentions. She wanted to graduate from college first, and that...

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old son's controlling friend who is also his ex girlfriend, guilt trips, playing video games
guilt trips, playing video games, part time job: Hello Barb, Good for you. When you use this approach, it takes a great burden off of you as parent. And it places the weight of a decision back on the teen -- where it should be. The decision is ultimately your daughter s decision to make. You can be...

Parenting --Teens: 19 y/o teen causing havoc, state of mississippi, family counseling
state of mississippi, family counseling, friens: Hello Carol, Some young adults need to learn the hard way. I think you ve done what you could. You ve only allowed her to go to a local community college, you re going to family counseling, and you ve told her the consequences if she goes off to join her...

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old dating wrong boy, bad influences, alcohol
bad influences, alcohol, illiteracy: First of all, stop fighting about the relationship. Just drop it. Next, cut off the money. All of it going to the relationship. Books and tuition, that s all she gets. She can get an on-campus job to pay for her own meals.. Third, turn it around. ...

Parenting --Teens: 20 year old daughter afraid of independence, james windell, full time job
james windell, full time job, part time job: Hello Pam, I don t know that it is generally true that most young people are afraid to move out on their own. Many are very independent. However, these days it is difficult for young adults to be independent because of the high costs of being on one s own....

Parenting --Teens: 7-15 - when will something go right?, vanilla ice cream, special k cereal
vanilla ice cream, special k cereal, chewy granola bars: Hello Beth, Your daughter has some serious problems which require professional help. You didn t mention that she has seen a counselor or therapist, so I m assuming she hasn t been involved in counseling or therapy. However, given her eating problems, her...

Parenting --Teens: 7 year old son, young sexual curiosity, telling the truth
young sexual curiosity, telling the truth, good parenting: What you MOST need to do is thank your son for being wise enough to share this very private moment with you. He did so because he has a conscience (a VERY good thing, as some people don t) and he KNEW it was wrong. This is also a very good sign. This is...

Parenting --Teens: Advice, steady job, abnormal behavior
steady job, abnormal behavior, bad mother: Meagan, I wouldn t say that it is abnormal behavior. Your parents sound difficult. Yet, since you are choosing to live in the home then I think you need to learn to tolerate it. No one is making you live there. I am sure that you would be able to find a studio...

Parenting --Teens: Angry Teenage Son, flight of stairs, teenage behavior
flight of stairs, teenage behavior, unacceptable behaviour: Hello Sharron, Your son s behavior cannot be chalked up as normal teenage behavior. His anger is too violent and aggressive. He could have seriously hurt his father and he could serious hurt you in the future, as well. When you have to resort to physically...

Parenting --Teens: How does this affect a little girl in her up bringing?, responsible parents, adolescent girls
responsible parents, adolescent girls, daily basis: Hello Alexis, Girls shouldn t sleep with their fathers after about age four or five. And it doesn t matter whether a girl loves her father or wants to sleep with him. A girl, particularly an adolescent (after age 10), should be told that it is not appropriate...

Parenting --Teens: Why is this the case, miserable marriage, sexless marriages
miserable marriage, sexless marriages, happy marriage: Hi Alexandra, I m married to that kind of American woman and our marriage is great. I m not miserable and I want her to have her own opinions and to be successful in her own right. But, you may be right that there are some American men married to American...

Parenting --Teens: Would this child complain, international divorce, divorce lawyer
international divorce, divorce lawyer, german authorities: Hi Alexa, She might not be mad or resentful toward her father. However, if she reconnects with her mother, she may be told a different version of the story of her life. Then, she might be angry with someone. When a child is separated from a parent, there...

Parenting --Teens: How would this child react, alyssa, little girl
alyssa, little girl, tattoo: Hi Alyssa, If she s always had it and can t remember getting the tattoo, she might not feel anything. She just might regard it as part of her. However, when she is older and if her friends ask her about it or if they tease her, then she might feel bad about...

Parenting --Teens: Out of control 12 year old., mother and grandmother, outrageous behavior
mother and grandmother, outrageous behavior, bad behavior: Hello Desiree, Certainly, as you have identified, the problem is as much with your grandmother and mother as with your sister. They ve done all sorts of things to reinforce her bad behavior. They both need to learn to discipline in more appropriate ways....

Parenting --Teens: controlling girlfriend, controlling girlfriend, poor judgement
controlling girlfriend, poor judgement, dangerous behavior: Kelli, Unfortunately your son sounds very weak. There is not going to be much you can do. She sounds as if she could be a potential danger to you and others in your family because of her erratic behavior. You also may want to extend these precautions to your...

Parenting --Teens: Drinking, james windell, smart kid
james windell, smart kid, friend david: Hello Jayme, I think you have to reach out to David and let him know you still want to be his friend. I would suggest that the priority should be to see if you and he can rebuild your relationship and become friends. Then, if you can re-establish your relationship,...

Parenting --Teens: daughter, nexst, family contract
nexst, family contract, mom and dad: Dear Jim You need to present a united front and agree on what to do about this with your child. You and your wife need to sit down and make up some plans or basic rules that you feel the most strongly about. Also think about consequences for breaking...

Parenting --Teens: Father pride, woman cooks, father pride
woman cooks, father pride, biological sister: Kelly, You CAN T be a marriage counselor for your parents. Your dad has issues and your mom has issues. These issues happen for reason that you will be unable to help them resolve. You are falling right into the trap of getting sucked into their problems....

Parenting --Teens: 13 y.o. boy: homework and internet porn, parental controls, administrative account
Parenting --Teens: 13 y.o. boy: homework and internet porn, parental controls, administrative account, loopholes

Parenting --Teens: 14 y.o. son failing high school, doesn't care, science
Parenting --Teens: 14 y.o. son failing high school, doesn't care, science

Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old, autism spectrum disorder, attention deficit disorder
Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old, autism spectrum disorder, attention deficit disorder, strict discipline

Parenting --Teens: 15yo son, strong men, orgasms
Parenting --Teens: 15yo son, strong men, orgasms, mom

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter

Parenting --Teens: Angry Teenage Son, unreasonable behaviour, simple truth
Parenting --Teens: Angry Teenage Son, unreasonable behaviour, simple truth, x box

Parenting --Teens: Hit by son, respectful children, communication port
respectful children, communication port, good kid: Hello Andy, Yes, things did get out of hand! You re asking some important questions: Should I communicate with my son? Will he hit me again? Have I failed as a parent? But think about what your sons are thinking today: Should I talk again to my dad?...

Parenting --Teens: How to handle my teenage Brother ?, siblings raising siblings, foster parents
siblings raising siblings, foster parents, education: You need to hold a family counsel with ALL of you at the same table. There must be SOME time when you can all be together, even if it is at 2:00 a.m. It s THAT important!!! You all have ONE SET of parents. Your Mom and your Dad. THEY are in charge. THEY...

Parenting --Teens: introverted 13-yr-old boy, typical answer, classmates
typical answer, classmates, social situations: Hello Jay, I think the little tasks you give him are good. But he may need more of these, particularly at school. I suspect he doesn t ask or answer questions in class. But you might check with his teachers about this and see what you need to do about...

Parenting --Teens: How would a little girl feel toward there mother if there father is an Anonymous Sperm Donor?, sperm donor, anonymous donor
sperm donor, anonymous donor, girl in the world: Hello Alexis, I don t really know the answer to this. Since I ve had little experience with children who were conceived through an anonymous donor, I don t know how children react to learning this. However, all children want to learn more about their parents...

Parenting --Teens: How long will this take?, back ground check, responsible father
back ground check, responsible father, relation ship: Hello Alexandra, I don t know if every social services agency would allow a single man to adopt a girl. Some might; others might not. However, if they did allow this, I think they would have to feel that he would be a responsible father. It s difficult...

Parenting --Teens: How long will this take?, adult decision, old girl
adult decision, old girl, alexandra: Hello Alexandra, A six-year-old girl may want to live with her father, but it s not her decision. The decision has to be one made by the parents after they ve done a lot of talking about it. Just because the girl wants to live with her father doesn t mean...

Parenting --Teens: neice and boyfriend, long distance relationship, web cam sex
long distance relationship, web cam sex, disrespectful behavior: Nicki, Obviously this girl will not listen to you in regards to him. I would suggest you either have her leave to protect your family or involve the authorities. If there was web cam sex I think that may be a crime because of his age. Your focus should be...

Parenting --Teens: My Parents?, couple weekends, nearby park
couple weekends, nearby park, facebook: Hello Ilina, Yes, I agree your parents are very strict and very protective. Maybe overly protective and strict. I m generally in favor of parents taking a strict and somewhat protective approach. Unfortunately, their approach tends to invite sneaking...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with my 12 year old, mental health professionals, self mutilation
mental health professionals, self mutilation, step dad: Hello Mary Jane, I m surprised that she doesn t already have a therapist, particularly as a follow up to her hospitalization. I assume she had contacts with a psychiatrist or other mental health professionals when she was hospitalized. While you are right...

Parenting --Teens: there is no getting through to my parents, waiting for intimacy, parent/teen struggles
waiting for intimacy, parent/teen struggles, dating practices: OK, Kenny, you are smarter than most people, and you know God, so why are you making out? Go bowling, go for a walk, sit and talk. Sit closely and hold hands. Put your arm around her and listen to her dreams. Give her a neck rub. Let her give you a clothes-always-on...

Parenting --Teens: rules for 15 year old, daughters room, lunch time
daughters room, lunch time, boys and girls: Vicki, It is great that you are asking these questions. Boundaries are an important thing for teens to have. I think you can casually bring up boundaries when friends are over and they aren t being appropriate. I think keeping kids happy is not the goal....

Parenting --Teens: Sexually active teen, using a condom, pregnancy test
using a condom, pregnancy test, doctor tomorrow: Dear Camella and Spouse I think you both have done very well so far in being open and informative and laying out expectations and reasons. You both need to continue to present a united front with all you do and say. you have a good plan and you need to...

Parenting --Teens: Sneaking out to see a girl, future parents, daughter madison
future parents, daughter madison, juvenile offender: Hello again, John- Anyone who encourages sexual activity for a girl of fourteen is a complete moron. You wrote to me for advice, and I gave it to you. I can t, however, read the mind of a brainless man with neck problems who lives hundreds of...

Parenting --Teens: sister stress, sister trouble, lack of responsibility
sister trouble, lack of responsibility, babysitting: If she is living with you, YOU make the rules, and she follows them, or she is out on her backside. In order to BE responsible, she needs to know what she is responsible for, and if you don t spell everything out, how can she know what is expected? She stays...

Parenting --Teens: What stance should I take?, ski trip, family vacation
ski trip, family vacation, two daughters: Chris, I think the best thing to do is recognize that these girls are in pain. They are tolerating you now out of courtesy to their father. Your husband probably feels guilt and wants to make sure his daughter isn t hurt anymore by his decisions. What you...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Daughter Sex and Maybe Harm to self., bipolar teens, doctor
bipolar teens, doctor, psychiatrist: Dear Debbie, I am sorry for your disappointment and problems, but you need to pull together right now. You have ONLY one month to get your daughter the help that she needs. You know all three of the symptoms you mentioned can mean bipolar illness is a possibility,...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Daughter Upset By Our Sex-Life, james windell, cell phone camera
james windell, cell phone camera, therapy sessions: Hello Maria, Teenagers frequently are disturbed by the sex lives of their parents. Because of their own growing sexual interest and their relationships with their parents, they don t even like to think of their parents having sex -- let alone see photos...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Stepdaughter, Teen-rearing, custody issues
Teen-rearing, custody issues, good vs. bad parenting: Your wife needs to put herself in her daughters place and answer, knowing what she knows, if she would be better off going to him. The answer is, of course not! What are you thinking to even consider such a decision? Would you give a three-year-old a loaded...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter and sex, underage drinking, underage sex
underage drinking, underage sex, teen depression: If it were my step child, I would give evidence to a judge and gain full custody. It is obvious her mother only wants her for whatever amount of support money she gets from your husband. The girl knows this in her heart, and her drinking is an outward expression...

Parenting --Teens: teen sex., sex without love, 14-year-old girl
sex without love, 14-year-old girl, results of free love: Dear Drina, I feel for you both. You, because you thought she was learning what you wanted to teach her, and your daughter, because she hasn t got a clue what her actions are robbing her of internally. Girls and boys of this age have no real brains to...

Parenting --Teens: teens son wants to stay with his grandparents, single mom, med program
single mom, med program, dumb things: Hello Melissa, Like many adolescents your son has problems with his parents and with his identity. I don t know if you went wrong in your raising of him. Obviously, you ve done a lot that is right: you ve supported him, he does well in school, he has a job,...

Parenting --Teens: Unmotivated Teen Son, financial mgt, math science
financial mgt, math science, crse: Lisa, I would say there is probably nothing you can do right now to change his behavior. HE is the one that needs to change it. What you say is important, education is important to you. Easy street is important to him. What I suggest you do is advise him...

Parenting --Teens: 11 year old daughter, new feelings, computer websites
new feelings, computer websites, trivial nature: Hello Cindy, It sounds like you handled the discussion very well. The problem with her going back to porno sites is that she has established a habit, which she may find hard to break. That has to come into play as you think about consequences. Again, I...

Parenting --Teens: Almost 12 and still no accountibility, dexedrine spansules, brand new toys
dexedrine spansules, brand new toys, lack of impulse control: Dear Kathy, Sometimes just saying no to kids is not enough. I wonder if giving him a writing assignment about lying and stealing and sneaking and how it affects others would help what you are trying to teach him to sink in. Tell him to write you...

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old very emotional, homeschooled, poker chip
homeschooled, poker chip, tv time: Hi Cathy, I would start a reward jar for not crying about daily frustrations. Everytime he is able to use his words without melting down give him a poker chip. Let him trade this in for computer or tv time...something that you might be controlling anyway....

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old run away, step dad, child answer
step dad, child answer, pertinent questions: Questioning him may not result in the truth, it would be better I think to simply talk to him about the subject while watching his reactions. Building his self esteem is a critical issue, making him feel good about himself again requires that he be engaged...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old boy behavior, long periods of time, boy behavior
long periods of time, boy behavior, inappropriate times: Hello Kamille, Your son does well in his grades at school, right? Is it only his Science teacher who says he talks too much or is disruptive in class? If this is so, why aren t other teachers complaining? And this is a question I have to ask: Whose learning...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old homework, motivation, responsibility..., individual education plan, egg timer
individual education plan, egg timer, herbal remedy: Hi Deb, Get some 3 x 5 cards and make decks for homework, cleaning up room, chores. Break down each task into small steps. Sit with him and help him make the cards. As he completes the step he must move the card from one basket to the next. You can check...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old with processing disorder, reading, good books for teens
reading, good books for teens, suicide in teens: Thanks, Deb- If you can afford it, a laptop is a great idea (maybe you can also get insurance for loss?) and an electronic planner is smaller and would also be good. Get good carrying cases, and train him to question himself before he leaves any area. (Did...

Parenting --Teens: 14 year old son with 16 year old girlfriend, james windell, boyfriend girlfriend
james windell, boyfriend girlfriend, doing the right thing: Hello Pam, I m not sure why you decided to try to break up their relationship. Is it because she is 16? Because he is so attached to her? Because he considers her so important in his life? As you know, the boyfriend-girlfriend relationships of young teens...

Parenting --Teens: my 16 year old daughter, needy teen relationships, teen trouble
needy teen relationships, teen trouble, selfish teen issues: Dear Mary, This is a really difficult one, and I m wondering if you could get together with his mother and have a talk? You need to discover why he is grounded so frequently. Is it just because she is too busy or disconnected to parent him? Is he angry...

Parenting --Teens: My 16 year old daughter, loser guy, trouble in school
loser guy, trouble in school, boy friend: Mary, Your daughter is not going to be convinced by you that this boy is a bad pick for her. What I would suggest is you start having conversations with your daughter about her character. If he she had great character she wouldn t be interested in a loser...

Parenting --Teens: my 16 year old son, juvenile justice system, volunteer job
juvenile justice system, volunteer job, freshman year: Dear Omar, I d like to help you but not much else I can do over email. Would you like to talk via telephone? Write me susan@parentingpowers.com and let me know what your availability is, your time zone and your phone # and I ll be glad to give you a free...

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old daughter, double dates, part time job
double dates, part time job, c student: Children have trouble following rules not given by their biological parents, therefore, you and your wife MUST get on the same page, or your daughter could end up with some real issues later on in her life. She s got to learn how to behave like an adult now,...

Parenting --Teens: 18 y/o son making dangerous choices, flying by the seat of his pants, valid choice
flying by the seat of his pants, valid choice, military enlistment: Hi Nicole, You need to convince your husband that he won t forgive himself if something should happen to your son. Your son does not have the frontal lobe capacity at age 18 to use good judgment and that is science..go on the Internet and get an article...

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old daughter going trough a rough patch, Teens, Communication
Teens, Communication, Relationships: Dear Paula, We d all like to prevent our kids from experiencing pain on all levels and the pain of a potentially disastrous relationship is at the top of the list. You are right that it is impossible to tell your daughter to stay away from this guy....

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old son, financial aid money, part time jobs
financial aid money, part time jobs, local community college: Hello Beth, Given your son s psychological problems, it doesn t sound like a good idea to just send him out on his own. You might give him more time to recover. While you don t have to accept everything about his behavior and attitude, you might be able...

Parenting --Teens: 7 year old son, james windell, shoes and clothes
james windell, shoes and clothes, own shoes: Hello Monica, Is it that he is not being responsible or is it that he is easily distracted and loses focus? Since he easily loses or misplaces things at home and hurries through his work at school, it may ge that he has a problem with attention and concentration....

Parenting --Teens: Afraid niece will become lost cause, pivotal point, intelligent woman
pivotal point, intelligent woman, best bet: Hi Christina, I have a few questions: You say your 16 yo niece ...where are her parents? If they aren t available and you choose to be it ...then that would mean that you are her mentor. So spend time with her. Take her places...talk to her a lot....

Parenting --Teens: What would most American man do, sicily italy, italian passport
sicily italy, italian passport, parenting plan: Hi, It certainly depends on the father, but some men might like this arrangement. However, others, particularly those who want to have a greater role in the planning of the child s life, might be very much opposed to the mother making all the decisions....

Parenting --Teens: Becoming a step parent, running the risk, teenage child
running the risk, teenage child, stepparent: Hi Simon, My point of view is that stepparewnts should make this clear before marriage that they will not be involved in discipline. I think when a stepparent tries to come in and act like a substitute dad (or mom), they are running the risk of further alienating...

Parenting --Teens: Boyfriend's teenage son has no ambition and is lazy, board car, surf board
board car, surf board, food shopping: I m going to be blunt and to the point. You may not like my answer but in my opinion it is the best solution to your problem. There are a few problems with your situation. The first is the non committed relationship you have with your boyfriend . The...

Parenting --Teens: My brother lies a lot., Sociopath behavior in children, lying
Sociopath behavior in children, lying, stealing: Your brother needs to go to a psychologist or a child psychiatrist right away. This sort of behavior only escalates. It won t go away on its own, and your parents obviously do not know how to stop him. Get him the help he needs right now, or they will be bailing...

Parenting --Teens: My brother and neice, sexual innuendos, sister brother
sexual innuendos, sister brother, angry all the time: Hello Carly, It seems that none of you have a good relationship with your brother. Thus, this limits your options. If your niece wants to stop living there, then someone has to file a notice with the court asking for a change of custody and citing some of...

Parenting --Teens: Consequences, intense feelings, heart race
intense feelings, heart race, dear anne: Dear Anne, It is especially important that your son listens to how you feel about this behaviour...really listens. You are giving I messages to him, but you need to say more about how you feel when he acts this way. You need to find a private and quiet...

Parenting --Teens: children and sexuality, james windell, childhood curiosity
james windell, childhood curiosity, neighbor boy: Hello Corrie, These kinds of situations don t indicate much of anything except for normal childhood curiosity with their own bodies and the bodies of others. Children play all sorts of games that involve showing parts of their bodies to others. The only...

Parenting --Teens: my daughter, family counselor, incorrect response
family counselor, incorrect response, rebelion: I really just clicked on the wrong button...so you got an incorrect response. But I really cannot say what you should do. You are not in the US and I am not sure what resources you have there...but do check on a family counselor for hope and help Evely...

Parenting --Teens: my daughters girlfriend, nothing but trouble, truce
nothing but trouble, truce, girlfriend: Dear Jean, I can see how worried and heartbroken you are about your daughter. The one thing you don t want to do is prohibit your daughter from seeing her girlfriend. She is rebelling against you because she is angry. So allow your daughter s friend to...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old run away, mental welfare, care taker
Parenting --Teens: 13 year old run away, mental welfare, care taker, scary time

Parenting --Teens: Boyfriend's teenage son has no ambition and is lazy, welcome to the 21st century, marriage certificate
Parenting --Teens: Boyfriend's teenage son has no ambition and is lazy, welcome to the 21st century, marriage certificate, laziness

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter, depoprovera, skipping school
Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter, depoprovera, skipping school, teenage daughter

Parenting --Teens: Goldilocks's behaviour & crime issues, crime issues, fairy tale
crime issues, fairy tale, goldilocks: This is an interesting question. I do not know the origins of this fairy tale but the moral is what stands out for me. Don t use other people s things without permission. I think that most people would see this as the point to the story. Let me know what...

Parenting --Teens: Homeschooled and Grounded, Home school, BSA Eagle Award
Home school, BSA Eagle Award, grounding: Dear Nick, I m very glad to hear someone writing to this site has parents who care enough about them to set goals and encourage them to make some good decisions in life. A rough estimate as to Boy Scouts who are motivated enough to get their Eagle without...

Parenting --Teens: How do we help our son acknowledge, & stop his self destructive behavior?, self destructive behavior, fellow classmates
self destructive behavior, fellow classmates, open cans: Greetings, This sounds very stressful for your whole family. Separation from parents during adolescence is difficult and boys tend to hold in anger and then explode. You didn t say what you have tried to do so far so I don t want to make recommendations...

Parenting --Teens: What kind of person is Goldilocks, cause and effect relationship, backyard fence
cause and effect relationship, backyard fence, neglectful parents: That question, or those questions are for you to ultimately answer. The reason for the topic that you ve been given is to help you think about those unlimited variation. I had a lot of fun developing the one I sent you earlier and I suggest you do the same....

Parenting --Teens: Would a little girl be mad at her mother for bring her in the world, and never having a father, sperm donor, anonymous donor
sperm donor, anonymous donor, sperm bank: Hello Caroline, The best way, it would seem to me, would be to be completely honest with the child. Keep her informed as to her efforts to find her father. And if there is truly no way to know who he is, then to be very sympathetic and empathic with the...

Parenting --Teens: Moving with my children, daughter age, fresh start
daughter age, fresh start, single man: The most important thing a parent can do for her child is give the child a voice. Obviously, your four year old is not going to be able to articulate how he feels about this, but you ll be surprised at how clearly a 7 year old and 9 year old can communicate...

Parenting --Teens: marijuana abuse, marijuana abuse, teenage brain
marijuana abuse, teenage brain, word essay: Tell him to write you a 500 word essay on Marijuana and the teenage brain. He does not use the car, go anywhere until it is turned in to you. This must be at least a B paper, cannot be lifted...must be thought out and in his own words. Then have...

Parenting --Teens: marijuana use,, james windell, gas money
james windell, gas money, mooch: Hello Jay, Does your friend feel like he is to blame for his son s behavior? Does he feel like he can t stand up to his son? If your friend wants to change things around, then I think you can be supportive and tell him he can set limits with his son. Your...

Parenting --Teens: What should a mother do, james windell, adult woman
james windell, adult woman, child abuse: Hello Brianna, The mother should tell the father that it IS different from a hug or a kiss. She should tell him that he should stop this and that if he wants to touch and fondle someone s breasts it ought to be an adult woman s, not his child s. A father...

Parenting --Teens: needs advice on what to do about my mom., time college student, teenage years
time college student, teenage years, shoulders: Kelcie, A lot of this depends on what she is financially responsible for in your life. If she has no financial say then you don t have to abide by what she requests since you are an adult. If you are living with her and she is paying for your college, then...

Parenting --Teens: Options for Troubled Teen, problem kids, younger son
problem kids, younger son, free consultation: Dear Mike, I know you are frustrated with his behavior and you are exhuasted and sick of his attitude...but sending him away is the biggest mistake you can make. All the research says if you want to give your child a chance to turn their behavior around...

Parenting --Teens: a pregnant teen, and in MAJOR need of assistance!, Pedophiles, young teen pregnancy
Pedophiles, young teen pregnancy, adoption: Hopefully, Nikki, by now you will have started your period and will be better able to access your situation. In the first place, any nineteen year old man who is having sex with a child like you...(no, you are NOT mature. You are ignorant of so many things...and...

Parenting --Teens: problem teen soon to be 18, james windell, possession of marijuana
james windell, possession of marijuana, poor grades: Hello Lisa, If he has been arrested for possession of marijuana, this will mean he has to deal with the courts (I assume). At a minimum he may be placed on probation. However, I would suggest that you push for him to be sentenced to a drug court. Let a court...

Parenting --Teens: relationship with my 19 yr. old daughter, physical altercation, foster daughter
physical altercation, foster daughter, single mom: Thank you for that touching story. The most difficult aspect of what your asking is achieving the goal you so desperately want, a positive and healthy relationship with your daughter. Relationships are very difficult to predict. Your unconditional love...

Parenting --Teens: TEEN HELP, cutting school, cutting classes
cutting school, cutting classes, cutting class: Hello Sharon, You didn t say how old your daughter is, so I m going to assume she is 15 or 16. There s no way of knowing from what you told me as to why she is staying away from home and cutting classes. You can t really blame her friends, because she...

Parenting --Teens: Teen affection, james windell, teen affection
james windell, teen affection, showing affection: Hello Shelly, I m on your side on this one. If your 15-year-old son and his girlfriend are not pawing each other and making out, then I don t see how this could possibly damage a 5-year-old. There s nothing wrong with affection. And I would want my five-year-old...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Brother Problem, teenage brother, james hope
teenage brother, james hope, hearted person: Hello Diane, What your brother is doing is very common for older teenage boys. They get involved with their friends and their favorite activities and forget about the rest of the family. Since he is basically a kind-hearted person, you can try shaming...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter, word alcohol, great disappointment
word alcohol, great disappointment, diary journal: Hello Kelly, Of course you re hurt. And the impulse is to yell and ground her for life. But that won t change much except allow you to vent your frustration and hurt and give her a reason to continue doing what she s doing. So, what s a better approach?...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son, stickler, bad character
stickler, bad character, extra pressure: T, Don t be a stickler for A s. I think it will only frustrate him and then he may give up altogether. I imagine that you are probably a stickler in other areas beside grades. Keep being a stickler where character is concerned. It is character that you should...

Parenting --Teens: Can't make my stepson happy..., misn, stepson
misn, stepson, decent place: Hi Tina, I don t always have a good answer for how you get other family members to see a therapist. One way, though, would be for you to go for a while, and then see if the therapist would make a direct invitation to them both. If it came from the therapist,...

Parenting --Teens: teen boy, cricket game, lockerrooms
cricket game, lockerrooms, crazy things: Mike, When young men get together they often do crazy things. I don t think this is something to be immediately worried about. If this was behavior being done in the general public I would be worried. Just keep your ears open. If this happens in front of...

Parenting --Teens: How to get my teen to move out, james windell, smoking pot
james windell, smoking pot, locksmith: Hello Lonnie, Having a teenager move out on their own should be done in stages. The first stage is to tell her that you have decided that she has a choice to make. The choice is this: She must be in school or working by April 17 or she must move out. Tell...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son, anger management skills, james windell
anger management skills, james windell, anger management: Hello Joannie, Well, as you point out, you should be cautious about doing anything if he isn t asking for help or indicating that it bothers him. Since he has relatively good people skills, he has the ability to make friends. There are many middle teenagers...

Parenting --Teens: my twelve year old daughter is running our household, phone privileges, four girls
phone privileges, four girls, three daughters: Hello Beth, Sorry to hear about the difficulties with your daughter. I think a good place to start would be to remove her computer from her room. Then take away her phone (if she has a cell phone) and her phone privileges. It might be well to go over...

Parenting --Teens: Verbal abuse, verbal abuse of teen boy, father-son verbal abuse
verbal abuse of teen boy, father-son verbal abuse: Dear Mary, Thank you for being willing to go to bat for this boy. Verbal abusive is longer lasting and more destructive than physical abuse. I think your idea of going to a counselor is a very good idea. If he/she can t help, they will know who can, and...

Parenting --Teens: Wht is this the case, adult women, old girl
adult women, old girl, long time: Hi Caroline, I can t really answer these questions. Different people react differently to situations. You may have been fine with your mother s decision a long time ago. So, you may not hate your mother at all. However, other women, picturing themselves...

Parenting --Teens: Wht is this the case, german father, american mothers
german father, american mothers, american mother: Hello Caroline, You re asking a lot of questions here, but let me respond in general. Five-year-olds want to please their parents. So, this five-year-old girl may want to please both parents, but because she is with her father, may want to please him most....

Parenting --Teens: 12 year-old boy and school, math language, computer video games
math language, computer video games, new reading: Dear Mark I am a bit confused. You say at the end of this note that he has no trouble with the work given by teachers or the exams. Is it only the homework that is the problem? Or as you state at the beginning, is he having actual problems with math, language...

Parenting --Teens: my 12 year old daughter, adolescent psychiatrist, child psychiatrist
adolescent psychiatrist, child psychiatrist, child psychologists: Hello Michelle, I m sorry to hear about the stress you have related to trying to raise Sophie. She obviouasly has some severe problems and I m glad to hear she is seeing a child psychiatrist. However, not every psychologist or psychiatrist knows how to...

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old son is a serial killer expert, old curiosity, serial killers
old curiosity, serial killers, extracurricular clubs: Tyson, I would suggest you direct it a bit. Serial killers got caught. Does he know the names and history of the people who caught them? How did they get caught? what did people think of them when they were caught. Instead of standing by as an observer to...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old and chat rooms, message pop, different things
message pop, different things, msn: Hi Kylie, I don t think this sounds safe at all. At this age she should only be chatting with kids she knows ( on facebook you could monitor this). Certainly you don t wan to resrict her to the point she rebels, so let her have some freedom with some parental...

Parenting --Teens: 14yr old, sexual intercourse, new girlfriend
sexual intercourse, new girlfriend, teenage pregnancy: Hello Ethel, I understand your concerns. You and I might both agree that he is too young to be buying a relatively new girlfriend expensive perfume. And we both know that he and this girl may be broken up in another month or two. But, he is in love and he...

Parenting --Teens: My 14yr old Grandsons behavior, temper tantrums, logical consequences
temper tantrums, logical consequences, grandsons: Dear Marie, You are right. Your grandson is out of control and you have tried to be understanding and also to respond to his rule breaking with logical consequences. The number 1 problem is Disrespect . So, that has to be the first thing you work on....

Parenting --Teens: 15 Year boy is disrespectful, step mom, family interactions
step mom, family interactions, learning disability: Chris, I think that your son is probably in pain because of being rejected by his mother. It s easy to put those feelings of hurt onto his stepmother. He won t do it to you because he may be afraid you will leave as well. Instead of taking things away you...

Parenting --Teens: 15 year old daughter,, church youth ministry, poor choices
church youth ministry, poor choices, university outreach: Hello Marilee, You may all need to go to an experienced family therapist. Your daughter does have too much control and feels like she can be in charge. I think you have to take fairly drastic measures, and to be consistent you may need the frequent support...

Parenting --Teens: 15 year old wants to move in with his girlfriend and her parents are encouraging it!!, open relationship, helpless child
open relationship, helpless child, sexual relationship: I have to say that this question has forced me to pause and really consider the issues involved. This is a very serious issue at present and I must say the risks of long term ramifications are high. The chance of a child or worse the choice to abort the...

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old son, criminal acts, friends mother
criminal acts, friends mother, magic pill: Dawn, Your son is out of control. As long as you refuse to involve authorities in his life when he breaks the law then he will continue to run over you. You describe to incidents where he committed crimes against you. Why didn t you call the police? If he...

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr.son, Teens, Communication
Teens, Communication, Relationships: Hi Terri, Teens don t want to talk about relationships. We have to show them instead. Your son is probably hurting from the family issues (alcoholism, etc) and can t really put into words his feelings. All he sees is anger and you bugging him. You...

Parenting --Teens: 20 year old, my parents wont let go, old boyfriend, basketball team
old boyfriend, basketball team, finishing school: Yes, it is important if you want to maintain healthy family ties, which I m certain you do, but no more than two hours per week is necessary. Since meals are important to your parents, and you have to eat anyway, I d get with your mom and explain the situation....

Parenting --Teens: 20 year old unmotivated son, minimum wage job, full time job
minimum wage job, full time job, positive direction: Hi Michelle, You might make an appointment for the whole family with a family therapist. Use your best authoritative techniques to tell him that everyone in the family is going. Even if he won t go, despite your best efforts, you and your husband can go...

Parenting --Teens: 20 yr old son living with me, full time job, possession of controlled substance
full time job, possession of controlled substance, 3 things: Leslie, So if he is not doing the 3 things you have requested of him then he needs to be out. While he may say hurtful things to you, at some point he needs to leave the nest and fly. He is not going to do it as long as you are keeping him under your wings....

Parenting --Teens: Anger Management for teen, anger management classes, oakland county michigan
anger management classes, oakland county michigan, james windell: Hello Karen, You mean, aside from the one I teach for Oakland County Circuit Court? The classes I teach for Oakland County are for teens on probation to the juvenile court. So, unless your son is on probation, he can t be in our groups. However, another...

Parenting --Teens: Bad Parenting??, yelling, screaming and ranting mother
yelling, screaming and ranting mother, change: Why do I think your siblings think her treatment is normal? Or Why you are afraid of her reaction. I ll just answer both. If all you and your siblings have ever known is a ranting, raging mother, you will grow up thinking this is normal (it is not) and...

Parenting --Teens: Bad Parenting??, teenage parenting, meaningful conversation
teenage parenting, meaningful conversation, stupid reasons: Hello Natalie, No what you are experiencing is not normal -- or appropriate -- parenting of teenagers. While your mother may be doing the best she can, getting bad at you all the time and trying to control everything you say makes life very stressful and...

Parenting --Teens: Bad Parenting?, parenting question, teenage parenting
parenting question, teenage parenting, meaningful conversation: I really do feel like its time to confront your parents. You three of you need to first confront your father and determine if he is willing to able to assist. If he is willing then perhaps it will be his job to do the confrontation with his Wife as apposed...

Parenting --Teens: Custody, dear mary, stressful situation
dear mary, stressful situation, step mother: Mary, If your daughter refused to go, what would happen? And...can you get her a court appointed attorney to represent her? Call the juvenile, superior and probate courts today and start asking questions about a guardian ad litem for your daughter....

Parenting --Teens: Why is this case?, sicily italy, irresponsible behavior
sicily italy, irresponsible behavior, visitations: Hello, Sadly you are right. Some lawyers wouyld advise that. And some fathers would do that -- with or without the advice of a lawyer. It is irresponsible behavior. But many American men do that. I m glad to hear that men in other countries would not do...

Parenting --Teens: Why is this case in Belgium?, parenting plan, single mom
parenting plan, single mom, different culture: Hello, I can t say what most American want. However, I m sure that most of them want to be treated fairly. Maybe if we had a less adversarial court system related to divorce and custody issues that many more men and women could work out amicable agreements....

Parenting --Teens: Why is this case in Belgium?, case in america, different cultures
case in america, different cultures, american mother: Hello, Again, I can t account for the difference between Belgium fathers and American fathers except to say they are two different countries and different cultures. Apparently, there are different rules that mothers and fathers play by when it comes to financially...

Parenting --Teens: My child's friends, james windell, fake guns
james windell, fake guns, peer relationships: Hello Veronica, Fifteen year olds are at an awkward age. Many are in the 9th grade at school and this seems to be an age of transition and of not being very sure about much of anything in their life. He probably feels very insecure like many kids his age....

Parenting --Teens: Out of control 16 year old daughter, probation officer, kid gloves
probation officer, kid gloves, skipping school: Hello Elena, Okay, so she s been oppositional and defiant for a long time and has made you walk on eggshells around her. Which may mean you didn t always set consistent limits. Now, it s very difficult -- if not impossible -- to do that. Fortunately, she...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter lacks control, temper tantrums, temper outbursts
temper tantrums, temper outbursts, family obligation: Hello Lisa, Since you ve noticed that this behavior is more likely to happen when her controls are not as effective (that is, when she is stressed or fatigued), it might be best to try to avoid confrontations at those times. However, you can t always do...

Parenting --Teens: daughter hates my boyfriend, saw us having sex, james windell, new man in my life
james windell, new man in my life, man in my life: Hello Anne, Since she is now 15, I think you can have a frank discussion with her about sex and about her feelings about you having sex with your boyfriend. You can tell her that most teenagers about her age are very uncomfortable thinking about their...

Parenting --Teens: effective punishments., privilages, life www
privilages, life www, theese: Hi Madison, Thanks for your email. I usually don t give advice to teens (mostly parents) but I wanted to write you back for a few reasons. I know that what your parents are doing feels really harsh and over the top to you. This is probably because they...

Parenting --Teens: Feeling like giving up on 16 year old son, mail delivery, delinquent teens
mail delivery, delinquent teens, school behavior: Hello Debi, I can appreciate how disturbing your son s behavior is for you. You ve tried everything you know how -- and nothing has produced an effect. I do agree with one thing you said and that is when he gets into enough serious trouble then you can...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old and chat rooms, internet predators, personal space
Parenting --Teens: 13 year old and chat rooms, internet predators, personal space, labtop

Parenting --Teens: Out of control 16 year old daughter, juvi, home thanks
Parenting --Teens: Out of control 16 year old daughter, juvi, home thanks, person life

Parenting --Teens: daughter hates my boyfriend, saw us having sex, need sex, having sex
Parenting --Teens: daughter hates my boyfriend, saw us having sex, need sex, having sex, feelings

Parenting --Teens: Uncooperative 16 yo son, male mentors, role models
Parenting --Teens: Uncooperative 16 yo son, male mentors, role models, military school

Parenting --Teens: Unhealthy Friendship?, illegal drug use, unwanted pregnancies
Parenting --Teens: Unhealthy Friendship?, illegal drug use, unwanted pregnancies, sexual predator

Parenting --Teens: Urgent help needed - Difficult 19 year old daughter, free counseling, personal hygiene
Parenting --Teens: Urgent help needed - Difficult 19 year old daughter, free counseling, personal hygiene, living etc

Parenting --Teens: father to strict, unreasonable man, phone computer
unreasonable man, phone computer, good kid: Dee, I agree with you if what you have said is accurate about your son this does seem a bit harsh. I would definitely have a conversation with your husband behind the scene and ask him what promoted his harshness. You could even tell him what you were contemplating...

Parenting --Teens: HELP with two spoiled brats, spoiled brats, youngest girl
spoiled brats, youngest girl, wonderful man: Hello Kim, It s not a matter of whether you d be wrong to bail out of the situation. It s just whether this would be best for you and your stress level. If you can t live with the situation, then if you leave it will perhaps force a resolution to the problem....

Parenting --Teens: how to help better my 8 yr. old son's behavior, writing sentences, bathroom humor
writing sentences, bathroom humor, dirty jokes: Hello Angela, Your son sounds like a normal eight-year-old child. What are eights all about? They are active, self-critical, sensitive, and outgoing. But they are also careless and make mistakes. They are also critical of others -- such as teachers and...

Parenting --Teens: help,teenage son in trouble with law and wont do anything I ask., school mentor, wont answer
school mentor, wont answer, bit 3: Hello Sarah, I m sorry to hear how stressful life is trying to raise a teenager and not having much support to do so. I think the first order of business is to get some support for yourself. Going to a parenting class might be extremely helpful. Not only...

Parenting --Teens: high school senior moved out, ups and downs, going to college
ups and downs, going to college, belongings: Dear concerned mom, I would advise you to go to her and do everything you can do to get her to come home. You need these other parents and get them to help you persuade your daughter. This is not just about what is going on now...but about the future...

Parenting --Teens: Would a judge take a child away from her mother if she does not want the father around, good mother, japanese women
good mother, japanese women, mother and father: If the father knows it is his child, and if the father wants to be involved in the child s life, then he may demand his rights to be involved. The best way to change this would be an understanding between mother and father. Some men would agree not to be...

Parenting --Teens: Losing hope for daughter, group counseling, losing hope
group counseling, losing hope, prettiest girl: Hello Janine, Let me remind you that your daughter is only 12. This means that not only does she have a number of years of adolescence yet, but a lot of years has a person. There is certainly no reason to give up hope. Teenagers go through many changes and...

Parenting --Teens: Lying, acqueduct, character issue
acqueduct, character issue, 2 girls: Dear Saavonna I think your son knew he would not be in trouble about the kids going in the ditch with the car, because he knew he had nothing to do with that. He probably did not want to say anyting to you about what had happened becuase he was afraid it...

Parenting --Teens: Lying, drug addicted parents, cheer team
drug addicted parents, cheer team, soccer coach: Hello Renee, I agree both with you and your pastor. She is a good girl and could be doing far worse things. On the other hand, when she accuses people of abusing her, this can go way too far and she may have to deal with the criminal justice system -- or...

Parenting --Teens: Mother feeling like she is losing her 11 yr old, homework assignments, bright kid
homework assignments, bright kid, loving child: The biggest thing I think he needs in his life is some type of mentor. He needs to be influenced in a positive way by another older adult male. I agree with you that he needs his dad. If he can t have him there needs to be someone else in his life besides...

Parenting --Teens: Should a men regret making a havening sex, birth certificate, child support
birth certificate, child support, little girl: Hello, If the man was aware of what he was doing when he had sex with the woman, and if he was aware that he was not going to be a part of a child s life if the woman got pregnant, then he should not have any regrets. However, people being what they are,...

Parenting --Teens: Parent with Marijuana Use, Taking action against drugs, helping a daughter
Taking action against drugs, helping a daughter, father abusing drugs: Call your idiot ex and tell him to get rid of the trash or he will find himself in jail where he belongs. Are you clean and sober, and able to care for her? Then why don t you have her? Does your ex have full custody? Then yes, you will need a lawyer....

Parenting --Teens: Prom night and cerfews, wise choices, insurance man
wise choices, insurance man, extra insurance: Dear Tim, I think you are a terrific Dad! You are reasonable and rational and trying to make wise choices, even though you want you son to enjoy prom night. But I d make no promises until you learn more about the after party . Many school districts...

Parenting --Teens: parenting, innate interest, inquisitiveness
innate interest, inquisitiveness, open discussions: The stages of development vary greatly. The process of questioning comes and goes and may have nothing to do with the age of your son or his development. Your son s questioning habits are really not the issue, his ability to discuss and synthesize discussions...

Parenting --Teens: Repeated stealing, youth allowance, working with families
youth allowance, working with families, family counseling: Hello Jo, I know it is very disappointing and maddening when our teenagers steal from us. You indicate that she has gone to counseling (including family counseling), but I assume the real issues have not been addressed. That is, when teens steal from...

Parenting --Teens: Suspended 4th time this year, Bored teens, school suspensions
Bored teens, school suspensions, finding good activities: Hello Lynda- Since you chose to ignore the first signs, passing off hardcore as wrestling instead of porn, and evidently didn t speak to your son specifically about the dangers of pornography, he has continued to press the issue. A sixteen-year-old boy...

Parenting --Teens: sexual curiosity in 6 yr old boy, circumcised penises, james windell
circumcised penises, james windell, circumcised penis: Hello Leslie, I think it might be appropriate to show your son photos of different penises. I like the fact that you are open with him and answer his questions. At the same time, continue to emphasize that it is not appropriate to be looking at and touching...

Parenting --Teens: my six yr olds behaviour issues, hour glasses, smart kid
hour glasses, smart kid, wits end: Hello Sadaf, The reward and takens system seems to be working well. That suggests to me that she really does want to please you -- even though she may also be working for rewards. However, a nice thing about a token system is that it forces the parent to...

Parenting --Teens: Would social service normally recommend to the court, that the father canít see his daughter again, private doctors, hospital doctor
private doctors, hospital doctor, mother mother: Hello, If a social service agency or child protective agency thought the child was being abused by her father, then they might stop visits between father and child. I m not sure I agree that most doctors could tell if a child was being abused by a parent....

Parenting --Teens: My son had sex 13 Help, brain chemistry, self indulgence
brain chemistry, self indulgence, condom use: Your initial response is a good one, separate the two and never let him see her again. The fact that she is older, this was done at her home and the girls mother was in the home (with the mothers approval) is very serious. This is not some romantic, Romeo...

Parenting --Teens: My son is throwing away options for a great future., great attitude, good kid
great attitude, good kid, new teacher: Hello Alisa, Like many kids his age, your son sees himself as an independent adult who can make his own decisions and doesn t need help and reminders from his mother. And like many of the mothers of these young adults, you don t want to see him throw away...

Parenting --Teens: step parenting, step parenting, good kid
step parenting, good kid, wonderful man: Hello Janet, I think I tend to agree with you. You do have to pick your battles. You can t take a strong stand on every issue, and you can t expect to win every argument or have every conflict come out the way you want it to. Taking this approach will often...

Parenting --Teens: Teen defiance & ditching, possession of a controlled substance, little conversations
possession of a controlled substance, little conversations, smoking marijuana: Todd, You need to bring the authorities into this. It seems fairly obvious that he recognizes you are unwilling to do much of anything to get him refocused . If her stole your care you need to report it. If he is in possession of a controlled substance...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter, james windell, skipping school
james windell, skipping school, negative outcomes: Hello Theresa, Sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter. I think, given the problems she s having, that you seek out a therapist for you and your daughter to go to. Her behavior may or may not be related to the divorce. However, given her risky...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager Daughters, destructive behaviors, alcohol use in young teens
destructive behaviors, alcohol use in young teens, treatment facilities for addicted youth: Your daughters are way past your control, and you are right in recognizing you can t punish them into behaving correctly; it has gone much too far for that. I think all of you need to go into a resident care facility-you, to learn skills to parent addicted...

Parenting --Teens: teen driving, james windell, careless mistake
james windell, careless mistake, conscientious person: Hello Tasneen, I think you are asking an excellent question. Should you stick with a prearranged punishment when it now appears it was a simple careless mistake? Whether you stick with the two months grounding depends. It depends on what effect rescinding...

Parenting --Teens: Uncooperative 16 yo son, possession of marijuana, full time job
possession of marijuana, full time job, apologies in advance: Thank you for your detailed account. Let me start by stating that there is no pat answer for this growing dilemma with our youth. I will be very straight forward in my responses so please do not take offense at what I may suggest in relation to the reasons...

Parenting --Teens: Unhealthy Friendship?, Lesbian predator, alpha female
Lesbian predator, alpha female, seduction: I think you already know that this unhealthy friendship may be a Lesbian predator. All of the signs are there. This is not my area of expertise, so you may have more luck googling Lesbian Predator and seeing what advice comes up. You could take her to...

Parenting --Teens: Unsocial teenage daughter, james windell, peer relationships
james windell, peer relationships, watching television: Hello Nicole, Of course, there is something wrong, but it doesn t mean she is abnormal in any way. That is, she is probably very unhappy at her inability to be social like some adolescents, or like her sister. She would perhaps like to have friends, to...

Parenting --Teens: Urgent help needed - Difficult 19 year old daughter, decent wage, ups and downs
decent wage, ups and downs, dressing gown: Hello Monica, As you continue to put pressure on her to contribute at home, I expect she will spend less time at your house. And I agree with you: If you ask her to come home, she may misinterpret this as you wanting her to return home but without having...

Parenting --Teens: if you understand me ide feel a weight off my shoulder, dad jokes, spitting blood
dad jokes, spitting blood, dual enrollment: Valerie, I am sorry for your situation, it truly sounds sad. I suggest the following. You CANNOT rely on your father for any type of moral, emotional support. The more you attempt to make him into the father you want him to be the more he will fight you....

Parenting --Teens: My wonderful 16 yo daughter, strange city, real friends
strange city, real friends, good person: Hello Richard, I m not sure what you did was wrong or ill-advised. I might have done the same thing with my daughter. As it turns out, my stepson who is in a college in the midwest has a girlfriend who went to his college, but is now in China for several...

Parenting --Teens: 11 year old daughter is so out of control, councilling, stroppy
councilling, stroppy, rare occasion: Dear Tracy, I am sorry you are going through these troubles. Here are a few things that you can do right away: 1. Go to the school and ask for a psychoological evaluation. It is possible that the school will pay for it if she is also having trouble...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old daughter, power struggle, mommie dearest
power struggle, mommie dearest, summer clothes: Dear Michelle, You can be a good mother who will not tolerate disrespect to your face. Part of what is going on is the power struggle between you and your daughter. As long as there is a power struggle between the two of you the hostility will continue....