About Experts Sitemap - Group 40 - Page 67 2016-06-28

Parenting --Teens: Loving, But Highly Overprotective Mom, responsible adults, decent grades
responsible adults, decent grades, parental guidance: Bari, I am going to answer this using the assumption that you are telling me the exact truth. The reason I say this is that you are telling it from your point of view. Your mother would have a very different view of the same events. Anyway, here is my...

Parenting --Teens: Lying 13 year old, james windell, self mutilation
james windell, self mutilation, razor blade: Hello Andria, I m sorry the lying has continued for so long and has seemingly become worse. My guess is that she has very low self-esteem and uses lying to protect herself or to cover her mistakes and inadequacies. The self-mutilation just adds to the...

Parenting --Teens: Lying 13 year old grandaughter, james windell, angry feelings
james windell, angry feelings, consistent rules: Hello Bonnie, You certainly deserve kudos for taking on the responsibility of raising your granddaughter. However, her lying and stealing is a serious problem and, I m sure, leads to the disruption of family life. You indicate that you ve tried all sorts...

Parenting --Teens: Lying and stealing, wechsler intelligence scale, wechsler intelligence scale for children
wechsler intelligence scale, wechsler intelligence scale for children, child psychologist: Hello Carol, Has your daughter ever been given a comprehensive assessment by a child psychologist? If not, perhaps that s a place to start. Besides confirming thsat she has low cognition (that should be confirmed with a Wechsler Intelligence Scale for...

Parenting --Teens: Lying and stealing, step dad, handbag
step dad, handbag, ropes: Hello Renee, I m sure being an adolescent is part of the problem. However, the amount of stealing she is doing indicates a psychological problem which you are unlikely to solve at home. Before she does come into contact with the police, I suggest that...

Parenting --Teens: lazy 11 year old girl, hannah montana, using tv
hannah montana, using tv, irish dance: Dear Katie, At 11 she is not yet thinking about boys and how she looks, and is now escaping thoughts about this by living in television fantasy. You need to put a stop to this for her own health and for her self esteem...which will suffer later for the bad...

Parenting --Teens: my lazy 20 year old, minimum wage job, borderline personality disorder
minimum wage job, borderline personality disorder, m kay: Dear Jim, I don t believe in beating around the bush nor sugar coating things when people ask me for advice they can count on my being honest. I dislike the use of the words, my lazy 20 year old. This shows me your son isn t the only one with a problem...

Parenting --Teens: lazy 20 year old, borderline personality, hey jim
borderline personality, hey jim, alternative school: Hello Jim, Not having faced this personally with my children (thank God), I can t tell you what I would have done -- only what I think I would have done. Nobody wants their child out on the streets. On the other hand, you my not be able to tolerate having...

Parenting --Teens: lazy college student, wash dishes, wash clothes
wash dishes, wash clothes, responsible citizens: Hello Paula, Sorry to hear about the problems with your two teens. The good news is your son is respectful and does some chores. The bad news is your daughter. I would suspect that you got started too late expecting her to pull her weight around the house....

Parenting --Teens: lazy teen?, james windell, rules at school
james windell, rules at school, most teens: Hello John, Obviously, your daughter is not a morning person! I get a picture of what things are like at home, but what about school. Is she doing her work? Does she achieve adequate grades? Does she follow the rules at school? In assessing whether she...

Parenting --Teens: lies, pathological liar, twin pregnancy
pathological liar, twin pregnancy, favorite things: Dear Lee, This is one of the toughest things to combat. I know, because from the time I could talk until I was 23, I was a pathological liar myself. I lied for many reasons, not the least of which was living with parents who contradicted one another in...

Parenting --Teens: lifestyle change, term satisfaction, inviroment
term satisfaction, inviroment, care situation: My dear, sweet, wonderful Misty.  I wish I could give you a HUGE hug and the biggest thank-you you ve ever received.  Do you know what you ve done?  You ve proven you love your children and put them first!  Only needy, clingy people stay in destructive environments.  You...

Parenting --Teens: how long do i ground my 13 year old darughter, short attention span, fergi
short attention span, fergi, good kid: Hello Danica, In a word, yes. It is far too harsh. And I ll tell you why. Your daughter is a good kid. She did what a lot of young teens do -- lie to a parent and sneak off to have forbidden fun. Since she got caught, there ought to be a consequence....

Parenting --Teens: At a loss with my 15 year old son., family functions, disrespect
family functions, disrespect, cou: Well, I get the impression making him go to bed at a decent hour, get up on time, and go to school might be effective consequences. Beyond that, he could be required to get involved in some other activity outside the home...charity work, tutoring younger...

Parenting --Teens: At a loss with 15 year old son, post traumatic stress, adderall xr
post traumatic stress, adderall xr, marijuana abuse: Hi Amanda, You said in your first email that he can t get it together and do the right things. Yet, he is getting good grades at school, cooperated with probation, completed his community service and apparently mostly stays out of trouble. Given what I...

Parenting --Teens: love, friend problems, true love
friend problems, true love, cheyenne: well thats hard to say because its diff. for everyone for me i fell in love with a guy and i knew i loved him becasue he was everything to me and he always made me smile and i was the happiest when i was with him he just meant the world to me he was and will...

Parenting --Teens: lovesick teen, james windell, personal protection order
james windell, personal protection order, filing a police report: Hello, It s flattering to have someone look up to you and respect you, but that can turn into a crush. People with crushes have their own fantasies going and that can be difficult to handle. In effect, what is happening now is that this adolescent girl...

Parenting --Teens: lying in a 9 yr old boy, anti social personality disorder, social personality
anti social personality disorder, social personality, loving one: Hello Sarah, What you re doing is the right approach. When you explain that lying is wrong, then explain in the particular instance why it is wrong (because, for instance, it destroys trust in the family or it causes him to go against the wishes and commands...

Parenting --Teens: lying and stealing children, trained mental health, child psychologist
trained mental health, child psychologist, sister and brother: Hi Pam, While reading your question, I was wondering if you have thought about seeking professional counseling for your son. The way I see it, the stealing is a symptom of something which is what you need to find out. Counseling might be able to get to...

Parenting --Teens: lying and stealing son, james windell, step dad
james windell, step dad, loving relationship: Hello Donna, Often when teens are stealing at home it means they are unhappy about something at home. But because of his bipolar, he -- and the family -- needs to be working with a family therapist. Since there was a divorce and a remarriage (although...

Parenting --Teens: lying and stealing, drug and alcohol abuse, mood disorder nos
drug and alcohol abuse, mood disorder nos, childhood and adolescence: Hello Linda, Sorry to hear about the behavior problems you have with your daughter. Frequently, children who have been exposed to criminal behavior at an early age and have been neglected or abused will act out their problems throughout childhood and...

Parenting --Teens: Masterbation, dear paula, wet dreams
dear paula, wet dreams, family doctor: Dear Paula, This is of course a very normal thing that happens to young boys. He needs to know that it is normal and that he will feel this itch or urge occasionally, and may even have dreams...wet dreams. Tell him not to worry about it but that it...

Parenting --Teens: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS 2, asian cultures, steady diet
asian cultures, steady diet, religious institutions: Well, Dad s usually work all day and miss out on a lot of the things going on at home. They need to feel loved and included. Don t you think it is better to have a father who is interested in what is going on with you than one who just ignores you? ...

Parenting --Teens: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS 2, good parenting, parenthood
good parenting, parenthood, best interest: Hi, Cameron... This is a revision of the answer I just sent to you. What comes to my mind with your question is why do you feel comfortable talking to your mum about these things but feel your dad s interest is intrusive? I think that is the bigger...

Parenting --Teens: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS 2, old adage, barwick
old adage, barwick, own business: Hi Cameron, I had a dad just like yours. They want to make sure that they heard it all and correctly. If they missed anything or misunderstood anything, they will get to hear it twice. Don t fall into his trap. Be firm! Tell him you were talking to mom and...

Parenting --Teens: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, behavio, business question
behavio, business question, question the answer: Hello Cameron, Thanks for clarifying your question. The answer is really pretty simple. There are two basic reasons why parents get concerned about their child s friends and the behavior of those friends: 1. Parents are always concerned about the influences...

Parenting --Teens: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, schnookums, little terror
schnookums, little terror, parenting styles: Well, as I said, in many instances the child s behavior is affecting them in some way. In others, they may feel they have a special relationship with the child and may think they see something in the child s actions that the parents don t. And let s face...

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year girl, t touch, morning person
t touch, morning person, loner: Dear Anita; Start with he with what she likes to do. What activities does she like to do when she is alone? What can you compliment her on? The reason I ask is because even moody children have moments of being okay. What concerns me when I read this...

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, lucky enought, mood swings
lucky enought, mood swings, behavior children: Greg and Jill, Well first of all welcome to the early teen years. Some mood swings are quite common with pre and teenagers. However I do have a suggestion. Make sure whenever you catch your daughter being nice or behaving the way you want her to behave...

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, james windell, lucky enought
james windell, lucky enought, first rule of thumb: Hello Greg and Jill, In a book I wrote several years ago called Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes, I wrote the following: Children at ages eleven and thirteen will look and act like the preteens we often expect -- argumentative, moody,...

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, daugher, moods
daugher, moods, meds: Hi Greg and Jill~ I would seriously consider switching her meds to something else. I recently heard something about this on tv about Zoloft not being good for use in children. Talk to her doc and see if he can t switch her to some other medicine that...

Parenting --Teens: Mother/daughter relationship, james windell, mother daughter relationship
james windell, mother daughter relationship, abusive relationship: Hi Nancy, Glad to hear your daughter is back in therapy. And that she thinks it is helping. Did your daughter inherit her need to get the last word in from you by any chance? If she did, and if you have a similar need, this is a natural for a clash. You...

Parenting --Teens: Mother teen boy relationship?, conflict situation, true feelings
conflict situation, true feelings, good relationship: Unconditional Love - whether they admit it or not. And honestly Anna, all of the other things any friend wants - honesty, compassion, encouragement and support. Understand that your relationship is changing/morphing into something different. You may...

Parenting --Teens: Mothers, stubborn mule, bird in a cage
stubborn mule, bird in a cage, good kid: Sakura, You have two choices. Make things happen so you can move out, or tolerate you parents until you can move out. If you don t do one of these two things you will continue to hate living there. You need to make the best of it until you can move out. Maybe...

Parenting --Teens: Motivate my 16 year old son, parenting plan, time relationship
parenting plan, time relationship, baseball career: Dear Cindi: You cannot take responsibility for your husband s relationship with your son. You however have a relationship with your son and seem to be doing well. Your son is not going to have a map for his life at only 16 years of age. As for the girl...

Parenting --Teens: Moving, dear arlene, old friendships
dear arlene, old friendships, perfect happiness: Sorry Arlene, You are just going to have to explain to them like you did to me how that happened...it is ok for parents to goof up, we are only human too. You will have to tell them and ask about what they think of our other ideas if they are in a different...

Parenting --Teens: Moving, new neighborhood, two teenagers
new neighborhood, two teenagers, doing alright: If they are doing alright in their current schools, I see no reason not to let them stay where they are. It will make the transition to a new neighborhood easier on them, and may eliminate some of the animosity they feel for having to move. Your husband...

Parenting --Teens: Moving/Changing Schools, two teenagers, young adults
two teenagers, young adults, cliques: Hello Arlebe, Sorry for the delay in responding. I was out of town for a couple of days. Teenagers, more so than younger children, have great difficulties with moves. It means leaving friendships and relationships which have been established over time....

Parenting --Teens: Moving Children, peer relationships, social ties
peer relationships, social ties, middle daughter: Hello Carl, Middle school and high school are times when friendships and social relationships for children are vitally important. Disrupt those and it will take a while to make an adjustment. In fact, some teens don t make a quick adjustment and then high...

Parenting --Teens: Moving, new neighborhood, ridiculous idea
new neighborhood, ridiculous idea, open enrollment: It all depends on the school district, would it be okay with the school and do your kids have transportation. If not, then there is no other choice but put them in a new school. Its ridiculous for your husband since he doesn t have to go thru making new...

Parenting --Teens: MSN and friends, family time, evening hours
family time, evening hours, alienation: This is a common problem for many families. It is simply your daughter s attempt at independence. What I found useful with my kids, when they were teenagers, is to let them have their time with their friends, but require 2 days (including evening hours)...

Parenting --Teens: i'm a32 yr old w/ a 15 yr..., suitable place, respects
suitable place, respects, parents: Hi Kelly, first you need to find out, for sure, if she is pregnant. In some respects, who the father is may not really be an issue at this point. The bigger question is what is she going to do about the baby? Obviously, once you find out if she is actually...

Parenting --Teens: making parents more aware, good parenting, drug trends
good parenting, drug trends, program workshop: Rebecca, Some good questions here. I have a couple different thoughts. I generally believe most parents don t need more information on subjects. What they need is to understand how to parent a teen so they can pass along info. This disconnect doesn t happen...

Parenting --Teens: male teen masturbation, information booklets, planned parenthood
information booklets, planned parenthood, single mom: Dear Dawn: A great place to get information (booklets, pamphlets,etc.) is planned parenthood. I would see if they have something for boys on masturbation or check out the local bookstore for some reading materials. As for what is normal for teen boys...

Parenting --Teens: manipulative 13-yr old son, family participation, step mom
family participation, step mom, school expectations: Hi Jenn, Usually when a kid is manipulative you have to guess that there is a problem with consistency somewhere. So, keep working at being consistent. And don t let him push you into either being too angry or inconsistent. Hang in there. Anytime you have...

Parenting --Teens: My "over" mature 13 year old, smoking cigarettes, chaotic life
smoking cigarettes, chaotic life, constant struggle: Dear Shelly: Gifted children are a handful for any parent. It is a challenge because we tend to want to treat them differently because they are gifted and yet they still need the structure and guidance of their parents. What you are dealing with her...

Parenting --Teens: meeting dad after 17 years, parental relationship, children with special needs
parental relationship, children with special needs, parenting classes: Hello Heather, I can see that there are at least three issues here which concern you. One is that your son seems to be using his father in order to get a car. By being friendly with his father, then he believes he is going to get a car. So, he seems less...

Parenting --Teens: messed up 19-year-old son, varsity swim team, anger issues
varsity swim team, anger issues, partial scholarship: Hello Lindy, Basically, he s not in jail because you paid for an attorney and allow him to live at home. He should be responsible for some chores at home. You have two choices. One, you can indicate the chores you want him to do and tell if he does them...

Parenting --Teens: mixing of families, help finding books, step families
help finding books, step families, excellent books: Dear Darron, You know your son best...be honest with yourself as to his strengths and weakinesses and accept him as he is, but be firm about how he must behave in this new situation. Your partner needs to spend time with him alone when possible (in spite...

Parenting --Teens: mom needs help for rebellious 16 yr old son, residential treatment facility, substance abuse treatment
residential treatment facility, substance abuse treatment, probation office: Hello Lora, It sounds like your son has some serious problems. It s good he is working with a therapist. And it may be a good thing that he is involved with the juvenile or family court in your area. The court can help place him in the proper setting; perhaps...

Parenting --Teens: motivation and grades, church youth group, semester report
church youth group, semester report, math teacher: Dear Karen, Yes, it could be a control issue. During the teen years teens have 2 developmental tasks to complete as they grow cognitively and emotionally, social skills and independence. So they socialize much to their parents dismay because it appears...

Parenting --Teens: moving, keith o brien, upscale neighborhood
keith o brien, upscale neighborhood, safe space: Osk, You just have to get in there with her and find out what s going on. Work on your relationship first, which is by far the most important. Whether she stays or goes with you is secondary to the quality of your relationship with your daughter. Sit...

Parenting --Teens: moving out, emotional scars, maturity level
emotional scars, maturity level, emotional maturity: Hello Lynn, There is such a great variation as to when young people are ready to live independently, that it is difficult to say whether there is a normal or not. I think it pretty much depends on the maturity level of the young person and the comfort...

Parenting --Teens: What to Do With Noncompliant 19 Yr. Old son, umass dartmouth, ambulance ride
umass dartmouth, ambulance ride, 3rd of july: Hello Kristen, It s always painful when a child (no matter what age) seems to be throwing away his opportunities. At age 19, he is acting more like a 16-year-old. But the stakes are higher. I think you have no choice but to ask that he move out. It doesn...

Parenting --Teens: I need help, individualized educational plan, positive reinforcement
individualized educational plan, positive reinforcement, table clothes: Dear Daytona: Children who are diagnosed with ADHD qualify under the Federal guidelines for specialized services. If she is acting out at school request an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan). She qualifies for whatever services it takes to get her through...

Parenting --Teens: I need help with my daughter., step mom, married at 19
step mom, married at 19, new mercedes: Kristine - Wow. Your story is heart wrenching and for you even moreso since you are in the middle of it. The only glaring things I noticed: 1. best friend 2. joint custody This is a time for being the mom, even if you did feel so close that she...

Parenting --Teens: net frnd, unpleasant experiences, country india
unpleasant experiences, country india, frnds: Hello Reha, Having net friends is not bad. It s actually fun sometimes. But keep this in perspective, too. Some of us are different when we re communicating online then we are when in person. That s just human nature. The problem with having a net friend...

Parenting --Teens: niece stealing from me, james windell, time occurrence
james windell, time occurrence, neice: Hello Pam, You didn t give me the girl s age or how often you see her or how often she comes to your house. Her mother probably wants to believe that her daughter didn t steal from you. You and your neice know the truth. If she is a girl who visits your...

Parenting --Teens: nine yr old accidently viewed sex on internet, sex games on the internet, library bookstore
sex games on the internet, library bookstore, internet question: Dear Helen: You are a nurse so I know you know with your professional head that you cannot do or not do something to control the raging hormones about to beset your son. I would step back though and take this out of the realm of his impending sexual...

Parenting --Teens: What is normal behavior for boys ???, pool party, acceptable behavior
pool party, acceptable behavior, risk takers: Hello Amy, Obviously, this other boy has a strong influence on your son. This is not unusual. Most kids get into trouble in groups -- rather alone. Since some children are risk-takers or just disturbed, they look exciting to other kids. And they may be more...

Parenting --Teens: What is a normal behavior ..., self steem, parenting classes
self steem, parenting classes, streets of miami: Hello Veronica, Is it normal for teenage girls to dress in provocative ways? Yes, it is normal. That is, a lot of girls are allowed to dress that way. The better question is: Is it right to allow a teenage girl to dress that way? To that I would say no....

Parenting --Teens: Overprotecive Parent at 18, typical college guy, low self esteem
typical college guy, low self esteem, good kid: Michelle, She is most likely scared about losing you or a relationship with you. Listen to this carefully, if you are unable to give your mom information that you as an adult are going to be going on dates with someone, you SHOULD not be dating. Until you...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective?, curfew, loser
curfew, loser, having fun: Jake, So your question is??? You have parents who love and want to protect you. Why do you so desperately want to go with the crowd. Instead of being a sheep like all those who go to the port be a leader and make friends as you become a leader. Pretty lam...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective Mother, overprotective mother, serious conversation
overprotective mother, serious conversation, opinons: Mia, Most moms are overprotective. This is how it works. At your age I tell parents they can t control they can really only influence. If you can have a serious conversation with her letting her know how she has influenced you I think that may be something...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective Parent!, little white lie, dear mr
little white lie, dear mr, compromises: Dan, You only a have a little while longer with her. I bet you can be patient. Once you are on your own you can then do what you like. Think of what you are going through as a training program. You paint your mom as completely unreasonable. So without talking...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective Parents, overprotective parents, little freedom
overprotective parents, little freedom, sticky situation: Hello Amanda, So, if I understand this, you re dating but you re not allowed to date and if your dad finds out, you re dead. Does that about sum it up? As I see it, you have two or three good choices and at least one not so good choice (keep sneaking to...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective parent., parent household, freshman year
parent household, freshman year, councilor: Hello James, Many parents are overprotective. Often there are understandable reasons for their overprotectiveness. For instance, some parents remember all the things they did as a teenager and try to make sure their teen doesn t do the same things. Or...

Parenting --Teens: Am I Overprotective, proper helmet, motorcyle
proper helmet, motorcyle, freeways: Dear Gayla, I would worry too...I hate those things. But you can ease your worry somewhat if you are sure he is being responsible. Tell him it will help you a lot if he understands that mom s do worry. Be sure he wears a proper helmet. Ask him to tell...

Parenting --Teens: Overwight son is not ready to listen anything!, play computer games, obesity experts
play computer games, obesity experts, exercise plan: I would start with determining what his overeating is about. Many people, including children, use food as an anesthetic for emotional pain. Has your son experienced a major loss in his life...has there been a divorce, a death of a loved one or close friend,...

Parenting --Teens: Overwight son is not ready to listen anything!, play computer games, younger son
play computer games, younger son, inspite: Hasi, You are the parent. If you allow him to watch TV and play games then you are part of the problem with him. Are you overweight? If you are then maybe both of you should stop watching TV and start exercising together. This would probably be more motivating...

Parenting --Teens: Overwight son is not ready to listen anything!, play computer games, butter ball
play computer games, butter ball, games day: Not to worry, Mom. You are doing a good job, and trying to do what is best. The thing about boys of fourteen is, it must be their own idea. If you suggest it, well, forget it! Mom s know nothing! Two of my sons were reed-thin and could have played...

Parenting --Teens: older teenage friends, inexperienced drivers, soccer games
inexperienced drivers, soccer games, teenage friends: Teens from 14 and up think they know more than parents or anyone else. Personally I didn t let my kids be in a car driven 17 and under....as far as I know...kids do sneak around their parents back. Your daughter may get upset with you but its actually...

Parenting --Teens: older teens and curfew, us ps, noisemaker
us ps, noisemaker, disrespect: Terry, If you are not willing to let him know that as a guess he should abide by the rules or else he is out then you are painting yourself into a corner. I am sure the girlfriends family would eventually get annoyed with their disrespect. If you are not...

Parenting --Teens: My oldest son, speaking terms, trouble with the law
speaking terms, trouble with the law, grandparents: The good news is, he s still going to church. What made him angry? Do you have any idea? Were you ever able to find out before he left? Did you come down on him too harshly over a matter he considered trivial, and now he s out to show he can do much...

Parenting --Teens: my overprotective mom, 13 years, johan
13 years, johan, good luck: Dear Johan, Prove to your mom that you can be trusted. Be a good example for other children in your family by doing your jobs without being asked. Do things for mom that she would have to do herself. Make her want to give you privileges. She will probably...

Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents, dad david, overprotective parents
dad david, overprotective parents, sixteen years: Kim, You need to be consistent so you actions back up your words. If you say you will be somewhere then be there. It you say you will be home at a certain time then be home at a certain time. If you need to check in then check in. If you don t want a conversation...

Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents., overprotective parents, exaggeration
overprotective parents, exaggeration, boyfriends: Hello Alyssa, You sound like a very perceptive young lady. One of your perceptions is that your parents are confused. I think you re right. I agree with you that being allowed to stay overnight at a boyfriend s house is not being protective, while not...

Parenting --Teens: PAS, holes in the wall, son and co
holes in the wall, son and co, child support: Oh, Laura...this is heartbreaking. You re right, you do need guidance but unfortunately this is way outside my scope of influence. You need legal advice. Your ex-husband s behavior is abusive, both to you and your son. Your only course of action is going...

Parenting --Teens: Parental nudity, parental nudity, stay at home mom
parental nudity, stay at home mom, part time job: Dear Susan, I really cannot think of any way to help you with this personal problem. You seem to have gone for advice and help to many sources. Your husband s insistence on these ways to meet his needs seem to me to be unreasonable, and since that is my...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting 13 year old identical twin boys, psychological terms, twin boys
psychological terms, twin boys, doing the right thing: Hello Vini, Here are some suggestions for helping your boys get along better besides just telling them to stop it: 1. Use reasoning: To reason with a child in psychological terms means to explain why something is right or wrong. Why should they get...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting an 18 yr old, parenting skills, core subject
parenting skills, core subject, sister and brother: Try to take her to a couple of doctors that deal with behavior...maybe they can help you. Also have you tried talking to your daughter alone and see if she can try harder to work at her behavior? As for her English, try to see if there is someone at...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting 2 boys, 16 and 19 unsuccessfully and how to deal with disappointments, smoking weed, drugs and alcohol
smoking weed, drugs and alcohol, pot smoking: Hello Shawna, Sometimes are kids don t live up to our expectations and it is embarrassing to us. There s no good way to deal with the shame of having kids who are failing other than to talk to friends or a therapist about your disappointment and embarrassment....

Parenting --Teens: Parenting kids at different ages, parenting kids, sexual feelings
parenting kids, sexual feelings, tennis match: I m so glad to hear you are married (it helps your boys soooo much!) and that you all have dinner together. So many families don t take the time, or figure a 14 year-old can nuke his own burrito, or whatever. You did exactally the right thing by ignoring...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting and parents, grandparents rights, guilt trips
grandparents rights, guilt trips, medical issues: Hi Dee, You need to get as far away from your father as possible. But, if they did sue you for grandparents rights, which I think probably only means they have the right to have visits with the grandchildren, it doesn t mean you have to hire an attorney...

Parenting --Teens: Parents' workshop, imperfect human beings, education methodology
imperfect human beings, education methodology, destructive emotions: Hello Cesar, It sounds like a workable format. I certainly think all of the ideas you are using are, indeed, essential. I would suggest that you put on this workshop as you ve designed it and see how it works. Then, you can modify it based on your experience...

Parenting --Teens: My Parents, reply asap, talk show host
reply asap, talk show host, summertime: Dear Kathrena: You 14 and you parents let you stay up until 11:00 p.m.? Why don t you ask you parents if you can volunteer somewhere? Find an organization that helps other people and see if you can do something good with your time. As far as the phone...

Parenting --Teens: Partenting Adolescents, custody fight, sexual crime
custody fight, sexual crime, psychological problems: You bet, Kenneth, and thanks for asking. I enjoy challenging questions. Actually, this sort of situation is quite rare.  The family bond of parents to children can be very strong through loving and nurturing, but when matters of a sexual nature come into...

Parenting --Teens: Phone limits for 14 year old daughter, james windell, phone etiquette
james windell, phone etiquette, amount of time: Hello Barbara, No, I don t think you re being too square. Your daughter is 14 years old. This kind of talk is inappropriate. When she s 19 and paying for her own cell phone and is away at college, it might be different. But I think you have a right to...

Parenting --Teens: Pre-Teen School Problems, james windell, child psychologist
james windell, child psychologist, school behavior: Hello Kelli, I don t think there is a quick fix that I can recommend here. I don t know how long this problem has been going on, but I assume it isn t new. My suggestion would be that his parents get some porofessional help. For example, I would strongly...

Parenting --Teens: Pregnancy question, pregnancy question, time hope
pregnancy question, time hope, different times: First off if u are goin to use the pill use it right, you need to take it for ex: if u take it at 930 usually u need to take it then it is not as effective if takin at different times. second off no u can not get preganat if sperm was on the penis and it touched...

Parenting --Teens: Pregnancy, pregnancy tests, pregnancy test
pregnancy tests, pregnancy test, pregnany: Okay, Tiffany-- Lots of factors can influence your period: stress, an increase in physical activity (Did you start a high endurance P.E. class this sememster?) Even the weather or a change in your roommates can affect your system, believe it or not, as...

Parenting --Teens: Pregnant 18-yr-old, family law attorney, abusive boyfriend
family law attorney, abusive boyfriend, learning disabilities: Lisa, Instead of feeling helpless let s take action. You need to locate a good family law attorney and see what your rights are a as a g ma. If you are worried that they will not be able to take care of this child then you need to see if you can get custody....

Parenting --Teens: Problem Child, bandaid, entire school
bandaid, entire school, problem child: I appreciate your enlightening me further in your situation. This is such a limited forum, and I often find myself struggling to come up with suggestions for people because I just don t have enough information regarding their dilemma. I agree with everything...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with my mother, tutor kids, store clerks
tutor kids, store clerks, aggressive person: Hello Liza, I m sorry to hear that you and your mother have such difficulty getting along. You are old enough now to see that her behavior has more to do with her own issues, rather than with you and your behavior. You also now can put her in perspective...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with son, satanic worshiper, signs of the devil
satanic worshiper, signs of the devil, king diamond: Hi Anne~ What you are going through has to be possibly the worse nightmare for a parent to endure. We as parents want the best for our children, and when they do anything less then it s very disheartening for us to deal with. He s 18 years old and...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with son, satanic worshiper, signs of the devil
satanic worshiper, signs of the devil, king diamond: Anne, My apologies for the delay in response. We have been without power for weeks because of Hurricane Wilma. Okay, let me say a few things from the little bit of information I have, and I am requesting that you stay open and reserve judgement. ...

Parenting --Teens: Problems with son, satanic worshiper, signs of the devil
satanic worshiper, signs of the devil, king diamond: Hello Anne, I m sure you are very frustrated and concerned at this point. In part, it sounds like a somewhat later adolescent rebellion. But, like many teenagers, he is trying to find himself and right now his way of being himself is to be a goth groupie....

Parenting --Teens: Problems with son, satanic worshiper, signs of the devil
satanic worshiper, signs of the devil, king diamond: Dear Anne, I m sorry I have taken so long to answer you, but I have been checking with parents of others who have had experience with Goth children (The Dark Side) and I feel better prepared to help you now. Bear in mind I am telling you this from my...

Parenting --Teens: Project, james windell, harsh discipline
james windell, harsh discipline, high expectations: Hello Ronald, Is this for a class project or are you really interested in this as a parent or potential parent? Anyway, books have been written on this subject. However, I can give you a brief synopsis of what I believe about raising children to be successful...

Parenting --Teens: Psychology, criminal justice classes, harsh punishments
criminal justice classes, harsh punishments, mental health problems: Hi Dan, That s one of the questions we tossed around yesterday in my criminal justice classes at Wayne State University. Prevention, I think, has to start at home, where parents teach social skills and help children to grow up free of maladjustments....

Parenting --Teens: Punishment to fit the crime, james windell, friends in the future
james windell, friends in the future, nearby park: Hi Jan, You re welcome. The good thing about providing consequences is that your daughter will say to herself or her friends in the future when she s asked (or is tempted) to do something unwise, I can t do that; my parents would kill me! Let me know...

Parenting --Teens: Punishment, cricket bat, bruises
cricket bat, bruises, cheers: Hi Steve~ See when you take something away from them that they value and love it makes them angry. So it was working! When you spank (if that s the method of punishment that works best for you),you don t have to spank very hard,rather hard enough to get...

Parenting --Teens: Purchase of possible stolen ipod, james windell, school authorities
james windell, school authorities, juvenile court: Hello Jennifer, You are certainly right. Selling an item cheap certainly raises suspicions that the item was stolen. This event is a good object lesson for your son. What you want to teach him is that he must be careful that when he buys something from...

Parenting --Teens: paranoia, paranoid delusions, innermost secrets
paranoid delusions, innermost secrets, hidden cameras: Hi Ant, I wouldn t suggest you tell them about the paranoid thinking. That might scare them too much, and just make them more defensive or use more denial. Better to talk about being depressed. You could tell them you re really depressed and you ve thought...

Parenting --Teens: parent communication with teachers, parent teacher communication, montgomery county pennsylvania
parent teacher communication, montgomery county pennsylvania, lunch tables: Hi Robin, I d be glad to help out. I don t think I can do this in one communication and it might be helpful if you ask me more questions. However, let me give some preliminary comments and then we can go from there. We all know that participation in...

Parenting --Teens: how to parent an emotionally troubled teen, temper tantrum, bad moods
temper tantrum, bad moods, disturbing thoughts: Hello Kathy, Given the threats, the depression and the talk of suicide, I would suggest that you find a family therapist. Your son may need individual counseling, so a therapist is needed who understands teenagers and works well with them. At the same...

Parenting --Teens: parent problem, double axel, running a 5k
double axel, running a 5k, mall don: Rukia, You do sound like you have a full-plate. It sound like your parents care deeply about you and often get worried when it seems like you may be getting off-track, Yet, the way they are doing it is definitely hurting you and the relationship with them....

Parenting --Teens: parental supervision, parental supervision, poor choices
parental supervision, poor choices, acceptable solution: Hi Kathy, Congratulations on being a concerned mother. If you don t feel confortable allowing your child to do something, then stick to your guns. Actually, I think as parents we should err on the side of caution. Too often in our contemporary society...

Parenting --Teens: parenting, michael riera, parent child relationship
michael riera, parent child relationship, avoidance tactics: Oh my goodness. Wow. Well, I absolutely agree with you. Mom is way out of line...way OVER the line. How to tell her after all attempts have failed? I d be interested in knowing exactly what these attempts looked like. This is definitely a situation...

Parenting --Teens: Am I parenting my sister?, dirty laundry, bed sheets
dirty laundry, bed sheets, slob: Dear Andrea, You did not give to much detail about why your sister cannot pay her own way however, when it comes to her neatness insist she clean up after herself in the general areas of the house (areas you all share) then shut her bedroom door. Insisting...

Parenting --Teens: parenting, beautiful child, bundle of joy
beautiful child, bundle of joy, cheyenne: its all worth it the pain is not good and hurts like none other but to know you gave birth to a beautiful child is amazing... the hardest about being pregnant is the pain it does hurt and u will be cranky but in the end it will be all worth it... ...

Parenting --Teens: parents, books on the civil war, playing tennis
books on the civil war, playing tennis, sports shows: Hello Meghan, I m sorry to hear that you re so upset with your father and the behavior you discovered. My suggestion is that you have to talk to your father about it. I know this sounds pretty difficult, but I don t see any other way to deal with it. ...

Parenting --Teens: My parents, backround info, loving brother
backround info, loving brother, freinds: Hello Jim, You sound like a very responsible young man. The fact that you emailed me for advice means that you are looking for help from adults, rather than doing something impulsive and drastic. That shows you are more mature than many kids your age. ...

Parenting --Teens: parents, good neighborhood, everyday of my life
good neighborhood, everyday of my life, friends at school: Hello c, Yes, your mother is taking this to the extreme. It really does interfere with your social life. However, your mother has fears and anxieties which are obviously not easy for to deal with. I m wondering how you ve approached this with her. That...

Parenting --Teens: can parents be friends?, friend relationship, something girls
friend relationship, something girls, sex lives: OKAY, ALOT OF PARENTS WANT TO KNOW IF TRYIN TO BE FRIENDS WITH THERE CHILDREN WILL SCARE THEM... THAT IS A VERY HARD QUESTION BECAUSE SOME KIDS LOVE THERE PARENTS AND LOVE HANGIN OUT WITH THEM, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND SOME DONT.... I WOULD SAY GIVE IT A SHOT.....

Parenting --Teens: How do I get my parents to let me grow up?, local community college, kid world
local community college, kid world, adult world: There is a major flaw in your thinking. If you want to be an adult and not be controlled by your parents you need to become an independant adult. Right now you are a dependant adult. You have one foot in the adult world and another in the kid world. Until...

Parenting --Teens: My parents, greek school, whinge
greek school, whinge, msn: Hi, I m glad you feel better. You sound really angry and it doesn t sound like you have really had the chance to tell him what you want to tell him, because he just keeps stating the obvious. A couple of suggestions... it sounds like talking isn t a great...

Parenting --Teens: My partners 14 yr old daughter, james windell, family counselor
james windell, family counselor, defiant behavior: Hello Donna, Sorry to hear about the problem Keith is having with Kelly. It certainly sounds like he did the right thing by moving back to be near her. There s two things I d recommend based on what you ve told me about the situation. One, is that he must...

Parenting --Teens: perspective on relationships, s education, parents and teachers
s education, parents and teachers, teaching degree: Hi Carla~ I think it s very important to have a good and working relationship with your child s teacher(s). Since they are the ppl that are intrusted with our children when aren t around. This way you can find out how the child is doing in school and...

Parenting --Teens: perspective on relationships between parents and teachers, keith o brien, futurepoint
keith o brien, futurepoint, best guess: Carla, I think education needs to begin at home, with parents, so i think the relatinship is vital, almost like a partnership, especially in the early years. I don t know of any specific studies, but my best guess would be that on the average, students...

Parenting --Teens: perspective on relationships, swedish spelling, parents and teachers
swedish spelling, parents and teachers, teaching degree: Thank you! I like it too; it s the old Swedish spelling. Since I have been both a parent and a teacher, I feel well qualified to answer your question. First of all, I need to know exactly what you are asking...if you mean the three way realtionship...

Parenting --Teens: possesions, circulation problem, mario kart
circulation problem, mario kart, model student: Well, Noah, you will just have to ask them.   There is no way for me to know the answer to that question.   If you need help speaking with them, you may print off a copy of my answer and use it as an opening, like this:   Mom?  Dad?  May I please have  word...

Parenting --Teens: possessions, driving privileges, bright kid
driving privileges, bright kid, wii: First off, the scenario (and thanks for filling me in on it). If you had been my son, I would first have wanted to know why the heck you didn t simply borrow someone s cell phone (or the Dairy Queen phone) to call and explain where you were, and request an...

Parenting --Teens: My pre-adolescent, independent adult, negative influence
independent adult, negative influence, puberty: I commend you for wanting to prepare your son for this most difficult time that he is approaching in life. As evidenced by your son s response to the videos on smoking and drinking, children can be incredibly impressionable. And what most parents don t realize...

Parenting --Teens: pregnant 19 year old, discipline measures, household responsibilities
discipline measures, household responsibilities, mixed emotions: Hello Patty, This is a real dilemma. You can t send an immature, irresponsible girl who is pregnant out on the streets; yet you can t just let her be irresponsible at home upsetting your family. I think you have to do the research on where she can get...

Parenting --Teens: pregnant teen, possiblity, 19 years
possiblity, 19 years, having sex: She cannot legally live with her boyfriend, nor is it legal for them to be having sex in the first place. You need to encourage her not to let this male controll her, and to continue her schooling. If he were to suddenly decide that he isnt going to be there...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, steping
myelf, steping, change thanks: i use to be the same way i got angry and i flipped a nut all the time and i didnt think i could do anything about it but you can. find a anger realeas i mean i write poetry and that helps me alot and that mite not be you thang mabey you sing or talk to friends....

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, computer type: Dear Asks, Well the good news is you maybe expecting too much of yourself. As you say you are 16 however legally you are still a child. What is reality is you are nearly an adult and right now your hormones are going back and forth like a pendulum. ...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., independent livi, magic answer
independent livi, magic answer, myelf: Hello, I m sorry to hear that you re so troubled by the arguments with your parents and by your own inability to stop some of your own actions. You should keep in mind that this is probably true for your parents as well. That is, sometimes they will be...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: Hi, you are probably right, they won t change (if they don t know how) but if there is something that they could do differently maybe they would. It sounds like you are really frustrated. I am wondering if the problem if that you don t feel like you are...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., brain matter, myelf
brain matter, myelf, ups and downs: You sound like every other 16 year old girl in the world; don t worry. Sixteen is probably the most difficult time you will ever have in life. It doesn t matter if you are in a family with 12 children, or one like your own. At this stage of your life,...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: You haven t really given me enough information to help you with this. What are you and your parents fighting about?, Why do you think there is such a conflict?, Why do you feel they aggravate you, annoy you, and why do you get so pissed off? I need more...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: You need to stop the arguing with your parents and learn to appreciate the things they do for you. You are the only one that can control your temper and attitude, no one else can. You think your parents annoy you.. have you ever thought they might think...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: The answer to your dilemma lies in a statement you made: I know it sounds childish as I m 16 but I can t help it . Yes, you can. And until you believe that, it won t change. First of all, you re in the middle of one of the most difficult times of your...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: Hi Anonymous~ Parents always want the best for their children. Just try and listen to them and make the best of it. They are going to be that much overprotective b/c you are an only child. Parents just do that. And sometimes it doesn t get any better...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, toungue: Hey there... First of all, i applaud you for seeking out some answers to your situation. That tells me that you have a desire to become more self-aware...which, in my opinion, is one of the most important things you can do in life. Now, as for fighting...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, change thanks
myelf, change thanks, specificly: Dear Teen, It sounds like you hate this as much as they probably do, but you know, they probably don t KNOW that you hate the rows, and that you wish you could stop. If you TELL them how you want things to be different and would like to try to figure out...

Parenting --Teens: i have a problem i always..., myelf, thoughts and feelings
myelf, thoughts and feelings, change thanks: Fighting with your parents or anyone for that matter is a drag and doesn t make anyone feel better. Fighting brings out the worst in people and it would be wonderful if people didn t fight, but that isn t reality. However, fights can be productive as well...

Parenting --Teens: problems with my 13 year old daughter, newfound popularity, school dances
newfound popularity, school dances, horrible mistake: Hi Tammy, The only wrong you have done is violate your daughter s rights by reading her diary. She will punish herself enough. As you said, she feels guilty about it happening. Think about what could have happened if the party had not been supervised. If...

Parenting --Teens: Having problems with my 17 and half year old, rubbish tip, bad attitude
rubbish tip, bad attitude, good mother: Hello Bec, I suspect you live outside of the United States (Australia, maybe?). And I don t know the laws in your country regarding juveniles. But I presume you could contact the police or juvenile court and have him forced to return home. I agree with...

Parenting --Teens: problems with son, mature fashion, adult responsibilities
mature fashion, adult responsibilities, interveiw: Hello Lyn, I m sorry to hear about the problems you re having with your son. Even more importantly, I m sorry that he has to suffer. Underneath the facade he presents to you and others (perhaps a facade that is meant to convey: I really don t care and I...

Parenting --Teens: over protective parents, protective parents, hunches
protective parents, hunches, security guards: Hi Laura~ She s just doing what she thinks is right for you. A mother s instincts are very right. And if she feels that this club isn t safe, then perhaps her hunches are dead on. Listen to your mom. She s there to protect you and to look out for...

Parenting --Teens: puberty & a downsydrome, male staff, body changes
male staff, body changes, love scenes: Hi Sara, Because your daughter is a special needs child, your discussions with her need to be more direct and concrete. However, I think one way of looking at the problem is to consider what you would say to your 15-year-old daughter if she was not a special...

Parenting --Teens: punishment, negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement
negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement, joining the army: Dear Sarah: I can only imagine the pain you must be in to post a question like this unless this is not a serious question (sometimes I do get questions which are pure harassment rather than real questions so forgive me if this is a serious question). ...

Parenting --Teens: punishment, scapegoats, 4 months
scapegoats, 4 months, alcoholism: Dear Mue: Well there are several places where you have answered your own questions here. First of all let s deal with the drinking. You said this was not the first time, so you have broken your parent s trust in you not just once but at least twice....

Parenting --Teens: pushing too much?, tennis team, headaches
tennis team, headaches, girlfriend: Kathy, Thanks for writing. I read your message, but really didn t find a question for me to answer. I am going to guess and assume that you want to know if what you are doing is right. Honestly, who knows? Maybe that s not the answer you want, but...

Parenting --Teens: Question about fairness, fruits of my labor, nasty surprise
fruits of my labor, nasty surprise, buying an xbox 360: Hi Tami, I think you handled it in a wonderfully even-handed way. You didn t forbid him from buying an Xbox, although he interpreted it this way. You told him he had to do what was right. That was great because it put the pressure back on him. It was unfair...

Parenting --Teens: Quiet studious son can't seem to say the right thing, post traumatic stress, military cadets
post traumatic stress, military cadets, economic consultant: Hello Sian, As you suggest at the end of your email, the problem is perhaps as much between you and your husband as between your son and your husband. You feel like you need to stand up to your husband in order to protect your son. But your son is reaching...

Parenting --Teens: question, reply asap, school nurses
reply asap, school nurses, planned parenthood: I worked for Mont. county in Maryland, so there was no specific school that I was assigned to. I mainly work more with private schools and charter schools then public schools. Most public schools have school nurses which can do the same thing. I currently...

Parenting --Teens: RE: 13 yr old wanting sex and boys more then anything else?, word paper, bad situations
word paper, bad situations, negative attention: Dear Melissa, Do you have custody of your grand daughter? That is really a big factor in how much you can do. Assuming that you do, she should have consequences for her lies. At that age, there are many privileges you can take away from her such as the telephone,...

Parenting --Teens: Recent Teenage Son Defiance, fist fight, exact situation
fist fight, exact situation, son matthew: Hello Dave, It could be that he resents not having you all to himself. Or it could be that this is a reaction to adolescence and would have occured anyway. Who knows at this point? I know you ve tried asking Matt what s wrong. But I think you have to get...

Parenting --Teens: Recent Teenage Son Defiance, fist fight, exact situation
fist fight, exact situation, son matthew: Dear Dave: You are right and some of this behavior is normal for teens. However, some is just rudeness. Here is my take on it. Your son is 17 years old. He is treating you how you allow him to treat. Think about how your respond to him. It is great...

Parenting --Teens: Recent Teenage Son Defiance, fist fight, exact situation
fist fight, exact situation, son matthew: Dave, I would imagine that your older son is mad. Here he was doing what is right and getting the benefits of it from his relationship with you. Then in comes the troubled kid and he start to get some of the connection that the good kid was getting. That...

Parenting --Teens: Regards my 17 year old sons attitude, grade a student, deluge
grade a student, deluge, profanity: Swearing is a horrible thing, and people rarely know how it makes them sound. He may think it makes him sound manly or tough, but really it makes him sound rash and uneducated. I understand your feelings, I would have them too. Have you talked to him and...

Parenting --Teens: Relational aggression, james windell, relational aggression
james windell, relational aggression, school counselor: Hello Chris, It s a rough time for girls between the 7th and 9th grades. There s a lot of bullying that goes on. I think that there are three basic approaches. One approach is to work with your daughter to help her be more assertive and to stand up to...

Parenting --Teens: Relationships with my daughters/ family, rebellious behavior, occasional weekends
rebellious behavior, occasional weekends, family counseling: Jeff, I think you have done the best you can but it is too bad you did not start early when the girls were 8-10 At this point, I would say try to go on your OWN for a college weekend and visit the girls or at least the younger one, and state you feelings...

Parenting --Teens: Relationships with my daughters/ family, rebellious behavior, occasional weekends
rebellious behavior, occasional weekends, family counseling: Dear Jeff: Whatever has happened in the past needs to be in the past. What you need are strategies for dealing with your relationships in the here and now. As for your daughter s behavior. You will need to accept responsibility for teaching other people...

Parenting --Teens: Relationships with my daughters/ family, rebellious behavior, occasional weekends
rebellious behavior, occasional weekends, family counseling: Hello Jeff, This sounds like a very complex situation. However, your daughters are old enough that they can soon make their own decisions about having a relationship with you and what kind of relationship it will be. As they move into their twenties and...

Parenting --Teens: Relationships with my daughters/ family, family question, rebellious behavior
family question, rebellious behavior, occasional weekends: Sir, the fact that I m being told more about your wife than your daughters (mentioning or describing your wife 14 times and your daughters only 3) leads me to believe that this is a marriage problem more than anything else. I have not had the opportunity to...

Parenting --Teens: Relationships with my daughters/ family, rebellious behavior, occasional weekends
rebellious behavior, occasional weekends, family counseling: The one thing it doesn t seem you have tried is to actually sit down with your daughters and ask them what you could do to change their minds about you. I m not being judgmental, so please don t take this the wrong way, but when people write their questions,...

Parenting --Teens: Reunification Therapy, james windell, typical parent
james windell, typical parent, divorce custody: Hello Kim, I think every therapist might have a slightly different approach to reunification therapy. However, you have every right to ask your therapist what her goals for treatment are, her plans, and the approach to reunifying the two of you. You can...

Parenting --Teens: Rude 11 year old daughter, smart aleck, consistent praise
smart aleck, consistent praise, o sister: Hello Celeste, Teenagers often develop a smart aleck attitude (yes, I m afraid at age 11 she is an adolescent!). For the most part, a smart mouth is usually nothing more than annoying and irritating behavior. Therefore, it can generally be ignored. ...

Parenting --Teens: My reaction to teenager, horse riding lesson, good parenting
horse riding lesson, good parenting, search warrant: Hi Sheryl, Just because she doesn t trust you, doesn t mean you have to feel like the world s worst mom. What I think I hear you saying is that your identity is built around you being thought of BY YOUR TEEN as a great mother. If we all felt like that,...

Parenting --Teens: not ready fot teens to grow up, plucking eyebrows, setting boundaries
plucking eyebrows, setting boundaries, trust your instincts: Dear Maria: Depends upon your values as a parent. Recommend realizing a 13 year old is not a child anymore they are on their way to becoming an adult. However, they also are not equipped yet to be in a committed sexual relationship. As the parent you...

Parenting --Teens: a real problem, ripple effect, teenage son
ripple effect, teenage son, teenage boy: When a child is very ill as an infant, some things happen. First of all, if he spent a lot of time in incubators or other restricted situations that kept you from being able to hold him and bond with him, his psyche is not developed in the way most children...

Parenting --Teens: How do I relate to my niece in the future?, locking doors, french kiss
locking doors, french kiss, new boyfriend: Leave her bad choices out of it when you say what you want to say. Tell her how much she means to you. Tell her some of the reasons why you have grown to love her so much. Tell her about things you observed about her that she didn t know you noticed. Remind...

Parenting --Teens: remember me, period 2, emergency room
period 2, emergency room, stupid question: Oh, Meghan...you have not been a bother at all. You have no idea how much I have thought about you from the moment you sent me your first desperate email. You really have secured a permanent place in my heart. I m so very sorry you lost your baby. ...

Parenting --Teens: No remorse for bad behavior, choices and consequences, wise choices
choices and consequences, wise choices, drugs and alcohol: Dear Lydia, You are all so lucky that the girls did not get hurt or worse. What you all did as parents was wise and I commend you for the united front. STICK to your rules and consequences. Your daughter must learn that what you did was in her own...

Parenting --Teens: How to retain my sanity!!, roller coaster ride, softee
roller coaster ride, softee, precious life: Teen life is just beginning and your daughter will be going through several different stages of attitudes. You will feel like its a roller coaster ride with the stress of raising a teen but you can do it. Stick to your rules with your daughter, don t let...

Parenting --Teens: rock music and teen dysfunction, teen brain, spiritual sensitivity
teen brain, spiritual sensitivity, dysfunctional behavior: Actually, the short answer is, no. Cognitive deficits exist in humans until sometime between the ages of 21 to 24. Until that age, they are, medically speaking, brain damaged because their brains are not fully functioning yet. They have not finished...

Parenting --Teens: runaway teen, john bradshaw, upscale neighborhood
john bradshaw, upscale neighborhood, innocent parties: This isn t usually how I start off an answer, but I m going to recommend a book to you. It is crucial that you find time to read it. It s by John Bradshaw, and it s called Bradshaw on: The Family . I promise you it will change your life. Your daughter...

Parenting --Teens: DO WHAT AS I SAY 3, steven covey, doing laundry
steven covey, doing laundry, correct principles: Many people have their own ways of doing things, even simple things, like the way towels are folded or which way the toilet paper should go on the holder. The truth is, many things have no right or wrong way, simply the way one was taught. Interestingly...

Parenting --Teens: DO WHAT AS I SAY, barwick, better person
barwick, better person, important things: Dear Cameron: This is a question which is as old as time. The answer is simple. Parents want the very best for their children. They want their lives to be even better than theirs and for them to be even better people than they are right now. They cannot...

Parenting --Teens: DO WHAT AS I SAY 3, father don, different reasons
father don, different reasons, hypocrite: Hello Cameron, Your father may like to be in control. And he may feel that his way of doing things is the right way. I m sure this is very irritating to you. Your father may not see the value in allowing you to try things on your own, or letting you be...

Parenting --Teens: DO WHAT AS I SAY, barwick, term interests
barwick, term interests, do the right thing: Dear Cam, Unfortunately adults often tell their children to do the right things, even though they themselves don t always do the right things. This is because they love their kids and care about them and because they are trying to do the right thing as parents....

Parenting --Teens: DO WHAT AS I SAY 3, whippings, barwick
whippings, barwick, physical abuse: Dear Cameron, Your dad has high expectations for you. He wants better for you than he had for himself and he wants you to learn the right way to accomplish a task. If you think he is expecting too much or for the job to be done to perfection, why not ask...

Parenting --Teens: School Problems, good study habits, guidance counselor
good study habits, guidance counselor, learning disabilities: Hi Heather, You are probably right, as they get into higher grades the work does become more challenging and if they never really had to study, they didn t learn good study habits before. Now he s into puberty and the last thing on his mind may be school...

Parenting --Teens: School, james windell, negative consequences
james windell, negative consequences, classwork: Hello Ethan, I think I tend to side with you. Your daughter sounds very responsible and does what she s supposed to do. If she makes a habit of leaving school early or is missing important work at school, that s another matter. At 17 and a year away from...

Parenting --Teens: Seriouse problem with my 13 year old, straigt, sexual behavior
straigt, sexual behavior, guilt: Hello Tammy, I think rather than forbidding her to have a boyfriend, which is another one of those tangled situations many parents get into, it might be better to just put some serious restrictions on her dating. This boy may not be willing to put up...

Parenting --Teens: Setting boundaries for adult child at home, setting boundaries, accountabilty
setting boundaries, accountabilty, yr olds: Even though your kids are 18 or 20, there should be some ground rules as long as they are still living at home. The reasonable time to be home should be 2am no later and they should by respect call you to let you know when where they are and what time they...

Parenting --Teens: Sexual curiosity - school aged children, sexual curiosity, family therapist
sexual curiosity, family therapist, school aged children: Hello Yvonne, Most children have questions about sexuality. And one way children learn about sexuality and each other s bodies is through exploration. Sexual exploration and curiousity is more appealing than your disapproval. I think the advice you got...

Parenting --Teens: Sexual drive in eight year old boy, something wrong with my mind, child psychologist
something wrong with my mind, child psychologist, sexual feelings: Hello Mary, The sexual drive is not unusual. All children have sexual feelings and curiosity about sex and sexuality. However, what is of concern are his statements that he has bad thoughts and that there s something wrong with his mind. Since we don...

Parenting --Teens: Sexually active teen, best friends mother, pregnancy kit
best friends mother, pregnancy kit, recent discoveries: Hi Kathy, This is a tough one. Once children become sexually active, it is nearly impossible to go back up the intimacy funnel and be content again just holding hands. This is why all good parents--like you-- try so hard to prevent it from happening in...

Parenting --Teens: Shy Teen, good kid, boyfriends
good kid, boyfriends, good job: Dear Barry: My son is a good kid. How does he need help for his development? It is not uncommon for children to not have girlfriends and boyfriends. It he is shy he will probably grow out of it as his confidence in himself grows. You can help this by...

Parenting --Teens: Sibling Rivalry and Etc., mom evelyn, sibling rivalry
mom evelyn, sibling rivalry, karate school: Dear Anamarie, You are asking two questions here...First, as to sibling rivalry, it is the pits, and I have had the same experience. I got through it by remembering that children do learn some lessons from it, like how to compromise, negotiate, and get along...

Parenting --Teens: My Situation, responsible person, 19 years
responsible person, 19 years, mom: Some parents have alot of house rules and some don t. What you need to do is have a calm talk with your mom and let her know how you feel about her rules and that you would like to be more responsible person but you need her to give you a chance to prove...

Parenting --Teens: Skipping School, couple classes, skipping school
couple classes, skipping school, family meeting: Hi Lori, I m definitely on your side on this one. I think you should forgive him, but not sign the excused absence note. You didn t mention if his father is in the home, but I hope he is available to get involved. If he is (and if he is in agreement...

Parenting --Teens: Sleeping with parent, wise decisions, protective nature
wise decisions, protective nature, mother figure: Just because something makes up a good part doesn t mean it works. Research shows that blended families divorce rates are higher. Kids usually don t do better. The important thing to note is that you are able to recognize jealousy. Think of that living in...

Parenting --Teens: Smoking Mothers and ADD/ADHD, james windell, biology class
james windell, biology class, cigarette smoking: Hello Nicole, I m not sure what you read about my associating smoking by mothers and ADHD. However, I think I ve written a couple of newspaper columns about this. As well as an Internet article for some website about 5 years ago. I still have that article,...

Parenting --Teens: Son 19 direction Unknown, james windell, camelback rd
james windell, camelback rd, worse drugs: Hello Diane, You are, of course, right. You and your husband need to get a consistent direction. And seeing a professional counselor or therapist is a good way to get started. I went to the Arizona Psychological Association website and found these therapists...

Parenting --Teens: Is Son ADHD or on Drugs, Need major imput..., crack house, imput
crack house, imput, adhd: Hello Debbie, Of course there is much I don t know about your son and his background as he was growing up. However, based on what you ve told me, I would say it is a strong likelihood that he is using drugs and/or alcohol. Unless you have a relationship...

Parenting --Teens: Son's Sexuality?, dear jesse, child therapist
dear jesse, child therapist, sexual issues: Dear Jesse; My answer my be too much for you. Most parents are terrified of these types of answers. Humans are the only species which have to learn about sex. You need to be asking where he learned this behavior. At the age of 5 he has been exposed inappropriately...

Parenting --Teens: Son's sexual behaviour, holding a grudge, sexual acts
holding a grudge, sexual acts, childminder: WELL I DOUBT YOUR SON IS LIEING ABOUT THIS... YOUR SON MIGHT BE GAY, AND IF SO THAT OKAY, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, HE WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME PERSON... WHO CARES WHAT HIS SEX LIFE IS LIKE... AS FOR HIS FATHER YOU MIGHT NEED TO TALK TO HIM, TELL HIM...

Parenting --Teens: Son working & going to school full-time, living at home, high school graduation, youth counselor
high school graduation, youth counselor, auditory processing problem: Hello Linda, It sounds like you ve been a very attentive and considerate parent over the years. And, of course, you re right. It would be nice to be treated with respect and the friendship you would like from your child. Who wants to be around someone who...

Parenting --Teens: My Son, distorted faces, facial expressions
distorted faces, facial expressions, tv characters: Angeline, Stop threatening and follow through on things. When you threaten you only prove your inability to parent. Give him choices. When he makes a bad choice then consequences need to follow. Be consistent. Don t threaten. If he threatens you call the...

Parenting --Teens: My Sons, go karting, young lads
go karting, young lads, unfortunate circumstances: Welcome to the teenage years! Your sons are behaving in a way that sounds perfectly normal for teenage boys. With so many testosterone charged young men in the house there is bound to be friction occasionally, especially when you add in the unfortunate...

Parenting --Teens: My Sons, woman at work, last question
woman at work, last question, doing the right thing: Chris, Your last question is a powerful one to be in...what kind of father am I? I think if you really look at that question, not from a place to beat yourself up (like you are doing now), but from a place to learn and empower yourself, then you are...

Parenting --Teens: Spanking, county health department, wooden spoon
county health department, wooden spoon, parenting tips: Apology accepted, Steve, and I do hope you can convince Joe that people like me volunteer our time; we are not paid. A great deal of thought and work goes into each reply, to say nothing of the amount of time away from other duties, including care of my own...

Parenting --Teens: Spoiled teen, expensive gift, good foot
expensive gift, good foot, good behavior: Greg, I would tend to agree with you that such an expensive gift is not worth just giving to your kid because of a birthday. Instead why don t you make some type of chart that shows how her behavior helps her get things she wants. Your job is to train your...

Parenting --Teens: Step parenting?, diamond earrings, step parenting
diamond earrings, step parenting, councelor: Hello Heather, I think you have grasped the idea that part of the problem is the inability of your husband and his co-parent to discuss the issues related to their son. Also, since the lying has now progrssed to stealing, there is a growing problem. It...

Parenting --Teens: Step-son dating, background info, breaking point
background info, breaking point, movie theatre: Hello, Of course you re not wrong. The biggest problem, as you are well aware, is that you do not get your husband s support. You are then placed in the position of being the disciplinarian, which is unfair because it leads to you getting caught in the middle...

Parenting --Teens: Stepson Problems, part time job, teenage daughters
part time job, teenage daughters, stepson: Dear Kim Have a serious talk with your husband about this and explain that it is in his son s best long term interests to stop to the boy s bad behavior. How will he ever keep a job or graduate or get along in life unless this changes? (You don t want him...

Parenting --Teens: Stepson playing households, path of least resistance, parenting plan
path of least resistance, parenting plan, stepson: Jen, Teens often will take the path of least resistance as will adults. When the two combine it is a recipe for disaster. I really don t know how much power you have in this situation. Who is supposed to have custody when school starts or even right now?...

Parenting --Teens: Sudden drop in grades and other stuff, elementary school grades, substance abuse assessment
elementary school grades, substance abuse assessment, deppression: Dear Georgia: I am not sure what you mean by her therapist doesn t see the same child I see. What is the therapist telling you specifically. As for you KNOWING she isn t doing drugs or drinking I need to remind you professional experience you may...

Parenting --Teens: what should we say to our son?, james windell, masterbate
james windell, masterbate, older sister: Hello Shelley, I think you should approach this problem by having his father talk to your son. Is it normal? Well, a lot of things teenagers do -- on the surface -- doesn t seem quite normal; yet, these things happen to normal adolescents. I think...

Parenting --Teens: school issues, nice neighborhood, younger son
nice neighborhood, younger son, high schoolers: Dear Lisa, You have much to be concerned about. As for not being able to get the school to listen, you need to keep moving up until you are heard and make it loud and clear you intend to be heard no matter how far up the ladder you have to climb. Your...

Parenting --Teens: selfishness and no conscience, healthy lifestyle, month and a half
healthy lifestyle, month and a half, bad experience: Dear Cheryl: This is the hardest part of parenting. Letting go. In my own experience the more you try to get someone to see something about themselves, the more they resist and the behavior gets worse. This is one of those times when being a parent...

Parenting --Teens: sexual behavior in my child, trouble alot, acking
trouble alot, acking, oldes: Hello Lexie, It s easy for people to glibly say a child is acting up because they aren t getting enough attention. But ususally that is far too simple of an answer. As for your six-year-old son, there are many reasons why a boy may be misbehaving in school....

Parenting --Teens: single mom and 16 yr old son, single mom, obsess
single mom, obsess, football games: CK, I don t see a question, but I will attempt to address your issue. I think that your son is very self-centered. It probably would be best for him to live with his dad. This doesn t mean you have done a bad job it means that he may need to see what the...

Parenting --Teens: single mom about to remarry with 15yr. old troubled teen, dads place, single mom
dads place, single mom, courtland: I ve never responded to a question in this manner, but after long and careful consideration, I need to encourage you to see a therapist. The issues with your son are deep-seated and advising you is simply beyond my scope of influence. You and your son both...

Parenting --Teens: single mom and teenage son, passive aggression, share custody
passive aggression, share custody, single mom: Leslie, I am sure there is some disrespect that is shown towards you from his dad and thus he has picked up on it. Rather than be emotional about it I would encourage you to put that aside and continue to be consistent and stable for him. It is most likely...

Parenting --Teens: single parent with out of control 9 yr old, giving me a hard time, game systems
giving me a hard time, game systems, play time: Dear Joey: Why not sit down and ask him what is wrong. Sounds like something has changed in his life and he is angry. Ask him about what and then listen, listen and listen some more. Let him know the rules have changed and he is quite welcome to play...

Parenting --Teens: single parent with a son in trouble, organized sports, joint custody
organized sports, joint custody, school dance: Barb, Thanks for the follow up. The sports thing is interesting. The work thing...well, you never know until it happens. Parents can t shelter children from everything. You have two things to deal with here - your son and your ex...and both are related....

Parenting --Teens: my situation, alittle, 19 years
alittle, 19 years, teenager: that isnt normal behavior. I can understand her asking and insisting that while you live at home you abide by her rules. But the threats, and checking up is alittle over-doing it. Other then trying to rationaly and maturely talk to her about why she is doing...

Parenting --Teens: my situation, parenting relationships, 19 years
parenting relationships, 19 years, judgement: K - thanks for writing. I think it shows maturity to reach out to other parents/adults to get their feedback. So, +1 in your column. Now - there are only a few things that i am absolutely certain about in life - one of them being that there are at least...

Parenting --Teens: My sixteen year old daughters clothing., loose jeans, new jeans
loose jeans, new jeans, daughter jen: Stop buying her clothes period. Tell her you are done spending and wasting money on clothes that she doesn t wear and destroys or even gives away. If she argues with you, tell her to get a part time job and take responsibility of paying for her own stuff....

Parenting --Teens: skipping school, james windell, skipping school
james windell, skipping school, privilege: Hi Tammy, Taking away his driving privilreges sounds like a reasonable consequence for skipping school for the first time. I think the way you handled it was just right. It was reasonable enough that if he does it again you can up it to two weekends....

Parenting --Teens: sleep, parenting teens, losing sleep
parenting teens, losing sleep, night teens: Dear John: If you son is can t get enough sleep even with 8 hour or more of sleep. I strongly suggest a trip to the family doctor. You need to rule out any possibility of a vitamin deficiency or some other medical reason for the high need for sleep. It...

Parenting --Teens: My small problem -- 17-year-old son, smoke cigarettes, church time
smoke cigarettes, church time, single mom: Cynthia, I would suggest you find something that he needs to be doing and involve yourself in that. I am curious as to why he has dropped off going to church with you since that was something you did together. Teens start getting lazy and unmotivated at times....

Parenting --Teens: smoking while pregnant, withdrawals, nicotine
withdrawals, nicotine, google: Dear Jessica: Mostly what the experts say is that smoking while pregnant will keep your baby from growing. However, just like the mother may crave her cigarette babies are born addicted to the nicotine. The withdrawals make them very unhappy. As for...

Parenting --Teens: sneeking out, james windell, hi chris
james windell, hi chris, three times: Hi Chris, The right way to handle this is to confront him and tell him what you ve found and what you suspect. Then tell him that if he is sneaking out, you want it to stop. And you will be checking up on him during the night. If you ever find out again...

Parenting --Teens: My son is horrible, sex offender registry, grandmas
sex offender registry, grandmas, remorse: You need to give yourself permission to distance yourself from your son. You have every right to feel what you feel, and you re taking the right steps to know how to deal with your emotions regarding your son and what has happened to your daughter. Continue...

Parenting --Teens: my son is lonely, rude sort, care attitude
rude sort, care attitude, career progress: Hello Irene, Like many teenagers, your son is conflicted about his lack of social skills. He apparently uses denial to deal with this. Yet, he also seems to know that he is not good at making and keeping friends. Since he refuses to see a psychologist...

Parenting --Teens: My son's poor behaviour, james windell, child psychologist
james windell, child psychologist, downward spiral: Hello Rachel, Your son seems to have a number of behavior problems which are obviously a great concern to you. I think for two reasons you ought to have him evaluated by a good child psychologist. First, his problems at school are serious enough that unless...

Parenting --Teens: son having problems with friends, growth spurt, peer relationships
growth spurt, peer relationships, relationship problems: Hello Lisa, As you and I know, adolescence is often difficult because of the problems we encounter in peer relationships. You don t want your son to suffer, yet he is. So, how do you help him? First, I would say that the most important thing you can...

Parenting --Teens: Is my son's sexual fantasy normal?, james windell, sexual fantasy
james windell, sexual fantasy, sexual experience: Hello Nancy, I think there is a wide ramge of fantasies that are normal. My guess is that the idea of restraint is part of his immaturity. As he matures, I would hope that he begins to have more realistic fantasies about relationships with girls. ...

Parenting --Teens: my sons, son god, ample food
son god, ample food, precious thing: Hello CS, You sound like you realize that your approach to parenting hasn t worked out so well, and you re ready to make some changes. I want to assure you there is a lot that you can do to improve your relationships with your children. The first step...

Parenting --Teens: my sons new religion, messianic judaism, orthodox rabbi
messianic judaism, orthodox rabbi, unspeakable pain: Dear Geraldine: First congratulate yourself on raising a son who is a national honors student and doing so incredibly well! Next, realize teenager are all about excess. Feel the gratitude he is taking his religion to far and is not into drinking, drugging...

Parenting --Teens: Should we spill the beans?, initial visit, own car
initial visit, own car, tantrum: Hi Kathy, I don t see a good reason for sharing copies of IMs with him or with the girl s father. The father seems like he is going to deny no matter what evidence you present. And aside from causing an explosive confrontation with your son, I don t see...

Parenting --Teens: stealing, lunch money, foolish mistakes
lunch money, foolish mistakes, family meeting: Is there any possibility that your husband is just not really good at keeping up with where his money goes? Are we absolutely certain a theft has taken place? You ve really done your homework here, and I have to commend you for that. I can only imagine...

Parenting --Teens: stealing from a damaged shop by fire, mars bar, phillipa
mars bar, phillipa, comprehensive school: Dear Phillipa, Do I think he has been punished enough for being grounded and having to apologize and having to pay for what he took, yes. This is plenty. As parents we often are fearful for our children however when we yell they cannot hear our fear...

Parenting --Teens: stealing and lieing teeens, tug of war rope, teens way
tug of war rope, teens way, family counseling: Dear Christy: Well you are in quite a pickle of a situation. I can imagine you do feel like you are being pulled apart. However, I would never suggest punishing both a 14 and a 15 year old for something until they fess up. First of all this is going to...

Parenting --Teens: stealing money from my purse, last saturday night, bank deposit slip
last saturday night, bank deposit slip, parenting tips: Hi Liz, Money was usually where i drew the line growing up...I stole other things from my parents - booze, beer, cigarettes, etc., and yes, I occassionally took a few bucks, but I never would have taken something from my friends parents. How good of...

Parenting --Teens: stealing, snack cake, proper context
snack cake, proper context, school suspension: I think you may be right in that he was dared to steal the snack, however you need to put the incident into the proper context. At the 9th grade age, if he were to have gotten away with the minor theft, he may have come away with the feeling that it really...

Parenting --Teens: step-daughter and her father clashing, parent child relationship, hurtful comments
parent child relationship, hurtful comments, step daughter: Dear Becky: You are asking for advice not your husband. I doubt what I tell you will make a difference until your husband wants help. Going to counseling would be a really good idea. What he is doing is not working. First of all parents need to realize...

Parenting --Teens: I am a step mom, step mom, step daughters
step mom, step daughters, step daughter: Dear Cee: You are probably not going to like my answer much. While your step-daughters behavior may not be appropriate the manner in which this request was written tells me that the lack of respect is a two way street. Anyone referring to a child as...

Parenting --Teens: step parenting a 14 year old, respectful relationship, step parenting
respectful relationship, step parenting, holiday traditions: The first thing I am going to do is direct you to a very helpful website that will give you some insight into what your stepdaughter is experiencing, and also give you some guidelines on what to expect as you and your husband blend your families. The website...

Parenting --Teens: my step-son's behavior, guidance techniques, unwelcome behavior
guidance techniques, unwelcome behavior, dying of cancer: Hello Audrey, If your stepson spent much of his life with a mother who consistently lied, it is likely that he learned to lie from her. We can assume that it is learned behavior which perhaps has been going on for a long time. If the above is true, then...

Parenting --Teens: My stepson is lying, windell, verbal reprimand
windell, verbal reprimand, character defects: Hello, You have taken on a very difficult situation. You deserve a lot of credit in trying to help this boy. However, as you have now discovered, helping him will not be easy. I think that your approach must be consistent, patient and calculated to help...

Parenting --Teens: How to stop lying..., brilliant career, immigrant family
brilliant career, immigrant family, 10th grade: Dear Lines: First of all let s not blame your parents for your lying. You decide to lie and you lie. We also don t need to believe that you will ruin your life. You are too young to ruin your life unless you commit some horrible act of violence. I am...

Parenting --Teens: suitable punishment for skipping school., decent school, career choices
decent school, career choices, suitable punishment: Dear Sheryl, First you need to make sure your daughter has an understanding of the relationship between school, grades and going to class and real life and what she will do in the future. By now she should be thinking about college or career choices. ...

Parenting --Teens: TEENAGE DAUGHTER WITH BOYFRIEND, teenage daughter, wrong direction
teenage daughter, wrong direction, bedtime: Dear Shydale: First, trying to get a child not to make the same mistakes is almost a guarantee they will as children do what they see us do not what we tell them to for the most part. As far as her behavior, just respond to individual behaviors. She...

Parenting --Teens: MY TEENAGER IS OUT OF CONTROL, james windell, hello dawn
james windell, hello dawn, magic cure: Hello Dawn, I understand why you are frustrated and looking for help. However, I need more information in order to make a recommendation. For instance, I need to know if he has been arrested. Has he been involved with the police in your community? If so,...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: Paula, Thanks for writing. First of all, your son has been a spectacular kid for 16 years, a few bad decisions and a tough time certainly don t make him bad. You need to get your faith back and believe in your son...first and foremost. In my opinion,...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: Dear Paula, You are doing everything you can and doing it right. hang in there. I can really think of nothing to add except to talk to his twin. See if he has some insight that we as adults my be overlooking. Also since you seem to have started a relationship...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: There is no boot camp that I know of that would take someone as old as he is. It sounds however like normal teenage stuff. very normal. I know it can be quite distressing to see his behavior change, but what you are doing by giving him space and allowing...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: Dear Paula, So you haven t had too many problems with your twin teens up until now? Well take a deep breathe and as you exhale say THANK YOU. Considering all of the things you could have experience up until now this is pretty good. Not that what is...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, guilt trip, bad decisions
guilt trip, bad decisions, honest communication: Hi Paula, It s not unusual for boys (and men) to go through a crisis rather quickly and then to bury everything. He probably feels that because he was open, penitent and tearful that he has exhausted all his feelings and that it s over. Because he has made...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Acting Out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: Its time to have a talk with him and let him know its a serious situation with his attitude and you are not going to deal with it. Talk to him, find out what is truly bothering him and let him know what he is doing is not only hurting him, its hurting...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Age Trouble, james windell, methos
james windell, methos, distractions: Hello Sam, I think hiding the remote on an older child is not going to solve the problem. He ll just spend more time looking for it or hiding it from you -- which he s done. I think a better approach is to sit down with him and talk about what he needs...

Parenting --Teens: Teen acting out?, first girlfriend, part time job
first girlfriend, part time job, spare bedroom: I think you are right on the money with your idea for counseling. Whether he wants to go or not, there are some issues here that need further investigation by a trained therapist. Have you thought about the possibility that he is using drugs? I m not saying...

Parenting --Teens: Teen boy having phone sex, female peers, typical teenager
female peers, typical teenager, phone conversations: Dear Donald: If this is the only problem you are having with this 15 almost 16 year old teenager...then you need to congratulate yourself for raising a good teen. NO I don t think your punishment is too harsh. I do think it maybe unrealistic as he can...

Parenting --Teens: Teen boy and sex, james windell, supervision process
james windell, supervision process, open relationship: Hi Kim, You have indicated your disapproval and I assume you supervise him pretty well at your house. Unfortunately, you can t supervise 16-year-olds as much as you d like. You might try to enlist the girl s parents in the supervision process, but they...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Dating, mature relationships, boyfriend girlfriend
mature relationships, boyfriend girlfriend, age kids: Sounds to me like he is trying to emulate something he has seen older kids doing! Yes, he is trying to exert control over her, and is trying to guilt her into doing what he wants her to do. At age 14, this could be setting a dangerous precedent. I have...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Defiance, public swimming pool, dangerous waters
public swimming pool, dangerous waters, livingroom: Dear Pam, My feeling is that you need more help than I can give in my answer. You probably should get help from a different family counselor, one who does not think you are meddling when you try to be a responsible parent. Sounds like it s possible that...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Drinking and Punishment, blood alcohol levels, public apologies
blood alcohol levels, public apologies, reproductive abilities: Hello, Barbara-- So, is it your contention that going to the hospital was enough of a lesson, and he will never drink again? Does that mean responsibly (one or two beers with the guys) or until he is 21? Research has shown that ANYONE who drinks gets...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Drugs/Drinking, drug test kit, personal cell phone
drug test kit, personal cell phone, home drug test kit: Susan, Thank you for following up and for your patience. i do remember replying to this question, but apparently my response did not get posted. Nevertheless, here we are. I am going to procede with some suggestions/observations based on your last email,...

Parenting --Teens: Teen dating older guy, james windell, popularity contest
james windell, popularity contest, drug and alcohol: Hello Rob, You have tried being nice and talking reasonably about the situation. And maybe she is right that they are just friends. However, if she is threatening to run away if you don t allow her to see him, then I don t think she is being entirely truthful....

Parenting --Teens: Teen dating/sex, james windell, consensual sex
james windell, consensual sex, honest relationship: Hello Yvonne, Since your daughter is planning to go to college, chances are she is not going to marry the 24-year-old she is dating. Furthermore, it might be difficult for them to maintain their relationship while she is at college. I know your main concern...

Parenting --Teens: Teen/dating/sex, high school girl, sex law
high school girl, sex law, slimeball: Yvonne, Our kids will inevitably do what they want regardless of whether it s legal or not. We can only hope to develop a relationship with them that is strong enough that we can instill values and attitudes that will help guide them when things get tough...as...

Parenting --Teens: Teen daughter, illegal drug activity, family counselor
illegal drug activity, family counselor, school counselors: Dear Dee: On the surface with just the info you have given me, switching schools twice for a teen who is talking too much and not doing well in school is dramatic and a bit much. First of all teens are going to talk and socializing is often more important...

Parenting --Teens: Teen daughters, double whammy, teen daughters
double whammy, teen daughters, ugly heads: Hello, Sheila-- I sympathize with you, dear. I had much the same thing happen in my own life. I have a very strong husband who was able to sit our boys down and talk with them about their issues, and inform them they were simply not allowed to disrespect...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himsefl?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, food tray: Paula, Thanks for writing. Keep communicating, keep understanding, try not to be too judgemental if his views and choices are different than yours...even if you know yours to be the better choice. He s growing up, nearly an adult, and it seems as...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, food tray: Its time to talk to your son about how you feel and what he feels...rather his girlfriend is waiting or not..his girl can wait while you both talk privately in another room, rather he likes it or not since he doesn t want to communicate nor cooperate. ...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, dear paula: Dear Paula, What you are doing now is not working. You must work through the girl, not your son. Stop thinking of her as the cause of his distancing; both of these teens can feel those vibles, so stop! Make friends with her and get her involved with your...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, food tray: Acouple of things... First he is in love, and there isnt much that can be done about that, or should be done about that. You are right, he does have a one track mind, he is in love. And for you to resist that, or try to change that would only cause more...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, honest to a fault: Paula, This doesn t sound like a problem with trust or honesty at all. It sounds to me like your son is communicating his discomfort with the topic being discussed. His response to you that the conversation would be over, tells me he is VERY ANXIOUS...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, parenting teenagers
terminally ill children, parenting teenagers, first girlfriend: Hello Paula, Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting teenagers! Yes, you re right. Some distancing is normal and expected. However, you feel like you re experiencing a lot of distancing. And maybe you are. And, of course, it does hurt. Two things...

Parenting --Teens: Teen distancing himself?, terminally ill children, first girlfriend
terminally ill children, first girlfriend, food tray: First I would like to commend you for your willingness to give of yourself and your time to help others. In this day and age it is all too rare. All I can tell you about your son s behavior is that it is perfectly normal. Although in my experience, he is...

Parenting --Teens: Teen estrangement, parental alienation syndrome, children of divorce
parental alienation syndrome, children of divorce, estrangement: Hello John, I m sorry to hear about the estrangement from your sons. But I hope if your co-parent is actively trying to undermine your relationship with your children that the judge will step in and take some action that strongly discourages this. While...

Parenting --Teens: Teen girl and dating, raising a teenager, silly things
raising a teenager, silly things, strict rules: Hello Michelle, This is one of the tougher areas of raising a teenager. You can try to forbid a relationship and give your reasons. I understand this sometimes work. However, it never worked for me when I had teenagers, and I ve talked to many other parents...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Issues, logical consequences, american background
logical consequences, american background, teen issues: Dear Greg You are absolutely correct....it is manipulation and you both should take a stand and not allow it!!! You must, not allow it because it is not in the daughter s bset long term interests at all. Do not allow it. AND you must set reasonable ground...

Parenting --Teens: Teen involved in drugs and running away, james windell, running away from home
james windell, running away from home, family decision: Hello Meri, Most states will not get involved in dealing with a 17-year-old who is running away from home. And I don t think finding leverage is the answer. If a young person is that unhappy with home (or themselves) that they are leaving, then there has...

Parenting --Teens: Teen likes his own company, christine welcome, turbulent teens
christine welcome, turbulent teens, air i breath: Dear Christine, Welcome to the turbulent teens. You mention your son is active with church, has his own friends and doesn t to your knowledge mess with any substances. As long as he is still doing well in school all the other behavior does pretty much...

Parenting --Teens: Teen moved out, cocaine habit, siphoning gas
cocaine habit, siphoning gas, insurance repairs: Hello Frank, Your son wants to be a grownup but doesn t know how to handle his life responsibly. Living at his grandmother s house may give him a chance to avoid the problems and rules at your house, but it also reduces arguments and conflicts over his...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Parenting Dilemma, midnight rule, teen parenting
midnight rule, teen parenting, learning disability: Hello Kat, It s very important that you and your husband agree about certain rules in your family. If you haven t done so before, it might be the right time for you and he to talk about maybe three or four important rules that apply to the two boys. For...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Parenting, james windell, teen parenting
james windell, teen parenting, misbehavior: Hello Katie, It might be, but it depends. It depends on whether it will be detrimental to her as an athete if you use her sport as a punishment. Does she want to compete and do well so badly that you would hurt her chances by removing her ability to practice?...

Parenting --Teens: Teen parental rights, kids name, legal reason
kids name, legal reason, married couples: Every area has different laws. I get questions from all around the world, but assuming you are in the USA, you would type: familyservices.GA.gov if you lived in Georgia; familyservices.AZ.gov if you live in Arizona, etc. Every state has a website, and though...

Parenting --Teens: Teen paying own insurance and gas, insurance bill, full insurance
insurance bill, full insurance, insurance money: Hello Danielle, I m afraid there s no right or wrong answers here. You will find everyone has a somewhat different opinion, but there s no one right way to handle this. I think what you are doing makes sense. If your daughter wants a car (I m assuming...

Parenting --Teens: Teen phone time, magic age, phone time
magic age, phone time, wors: Dear Linda, I don t think there s a magic age at which anyone is ready for anything. I think maturity and trust have to be your guiding factors. Your daughter sounds like a good kid. Is she mature enough and trustworthy enough to have a boyfriend? Only...

Parenting --Teens: Teen phone time, phone time, good relationship
phone time, good relationship, daily basis: Dear Linda: Your daughter is 12 years old and obviously has already started to talk to boys on the phone. So this question is already a moot point. You have decided she is allowed to talk to her boyfriend for no more than an hour each day. Again this is...

Parenting --Teens: Teen phone time, adult supervision, poor choices
adult supervision, poor choices, phone conversations: Cell phones are all the rage now, and for some reason, we have all been sucked into thinking they are a necessity of modern living. Gee, they weren t three years ago. Has that much changed? Those companies selling minutes sure want you to believe it. ...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Runaway, waiting in the wings, family counseling
waiting in the wings, family counseling, rewarding work: Dear Michelle, I am so sorry you are experiecing such tough parenting challenges. Yes, children do watch each other however they are not against you and are not necessarily watching to see what they can get away with as some children will make up their...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Runaway, dept of social services, crisis centers
dept of social services, crisis centers, family therapist: Dear Michelle, i think you need some help with those family problems; seek some professional counseling for the whole family. Find a family therapist. Probably your son was trying to escape these problems by running away. You can ask your chruch or school...

Parenting --Teens: Teen rejects moving, james windell, upscale neighborhood
james windell, upscale neighborhood, omeed: Hello Omeed, It sounds like your daughter s world has become unstable and she s become quite unstable herself. It s very dangerous for her to run away and be involved with drug-using peers. I think you have to take her at her word -- that she will run...

Parenting --Teens: My Teen Stepdaughter, parental control software, computer parental control
parental control software, computer parental control, dear tony: Dear Tony: More than likely she is trying desperately to fit in. She is probably under the delusion that most teens have sex and are not virgins. Unfortunately this is an illusion in most cases. Are you parenting positively? Well not at the moment however...

Parenting --Teens: Teen sleeping at friends on New Years Eve., new years eve, daughter danielle
new years eve, daughter danielle, mistaken belief: Kelly s mother is doing something illegal. You should turn her in to the authorities. Parents who allow underage drinking do so in the mistaken belief that they can control it if it is under their roof, but what they are really doing is saying it is fine...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son, need help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Hi Paula, I actually think that boundaries at this age are REALLY important as hormones, peer pressure, etc. can make kids feel out of control and boundaries from parents can give them a sense of safety. I think that if you have a reasonable explanation about...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: All kids need to be guided and taught to learn the right and wrong ways, but in the long run they will thank you for not letting them get away with things. They will hate you in the mean time,etc..but they mature alittle more, they will thank you. At...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: You are at the most difficult stage in a parent s life, believe it or not. Your son is on the cusp of being an adult, but because he still lives in your home, still attends high school, and is not legally of age, you feel as responsible for him as ever. ...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Hi Paula~ You are the parent and he is the child. When he is 18 and lives on his own then he is free to do as he wishes. But until then he has to obey you and abide by your rules that you ve set forth in your household. I personally don t think you are...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Paula, I believe i responded to a very similiar question of yours roughly two weeks ago. I am copying the answer for you below. If this is not the same Paula, my apologies. If it is the same Paula, please send more of a follow up question - giving...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Dear Paula, Having a positive attitude can be demonstrated by doing one s chores graciously if not happily, smiling and greeting people when you come into the house or get up in the morning, by asking if you can help out, by not sulking, by realizing that...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Dear Paula, I see the problem as this, He used to be the model child. You were really getting a break as a parent to have made it till your son was 17 with a model child. This is the hard part of parenting, being disapproved of by your child....

Parenting --Teens: Teen son needs help, first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Hi Paula, There are various ways your son can show he is trustworthy. Even if he is lying, his behavior is what is most important -- not what he promises or what he says he is doing. Some of the things to look for are: 1. Does he come home when he s...

Parenting --Teens: Teen son, needs help., first girlfriend, starting a new job
first girlfriend, starting a new job, model child: Your son seems to be expressing himself, and from his actions, like that of a fifteen-year-old boy. The need for independance, but complete inability to survive without help, is typical of that experienced by boys at that age. As he is 17, it is more difficult...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Trouble w/Myspace, creating websites, good relationship
creating websites, good relationship, computer use: Dear William: She is 17 which is almost an adult legal age. You probably cannot change much about her know you can only change what you do. She has shown a lack of regard for herself and her family by posting inappropriately on the internet. So I suggest...

Parenting --Teens: Teen using drugs, running away, adoptive dad, successful relationship
adoptive dad, successful relationship, empathetic: Meri, Honestly, i am not familiar with the child custody or youth laws in NM or Ohio, so i wouldn t be able to advise you on any leverage. Perhaps i am wrong, but it sounds like this was planned on the daughters part. Either way, she needs help, not...

Parenting --Teens: Teen wants to runaway from dad to me, class literature, custody proceedings
class literature, custody proceedings, parenting time: Hello Cindy, I see why you would be concerned for your son. I don t know whether he is ready to crash and burn, but he is certainly at a desperate point in wanting to get away from his father. Since you ve already filed for a change of custody, it seems...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage affection/hugging, james windell, male adults
james windell, male adults, body contact: Hello Keli, Of course, you are right. But your affectionate daughter is not ready to take your advice or suggestions. Giving her books or websites is not likely to convince her either. It s likely that she has to have a bad experience in order to learn....

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Boy - Addictive Relationship, Sex, real girlfriend, sexual intercourse
real girlfriend, sexual intercourse, minimal service: Hello Holly, These are very difficult situations for parents because there is almost never a clearcut way of dealing with the teenagers who are madly in love. Things are complicated by the mobility of teenagers and their myriad ways of communicating with...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Boy Behavior, private middle school, adult daughter
private middle school, adult daughter, boy behavior: Hello Julie, Some teenage boys are very sensitive and cry easily. Others are very tough and withdrawn. Your stepson may be more emotional. But that could just be temperament more than anything -- not necessarily a problem. I think you have to take a close...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage boy, class clown, saturday schools
class clown, saturday schools, peer approval: Dear Stressed Mom I think you are doing lots of good things so far, but I am sure you are frustrated with not knowing more about what to do. At least he has talked to the school therapist. Has she met with you, however, to share what he told her? And has...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage boys and sleepovers, james windell, gut instinct
james windell, gut instinct, r rated movies: Hi Shelley, I vote for going along with your gut instinct -- and your own experience as a teen! If you feel like saying No to sleepovers because the rules are too liberal at another house, then say no. And you can tell your son that s the reason. It...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Couplings, benefit of marriage, acceptable behavior
benefit of marriage, acceptable behavior, good kid: It sounds like you re all on the right track, there. I ll rest easy knowing you are able to talk things out. Communication is vital, and most teens, when they can see you really have their best interests at heart, are more than thankful for your guidance....

Parenting --Teens: Teenage coupling, acceptable behavior, good kid
acceptable behavior, good kid, fondling: Hi, there is a problem here- boundaries. I don t know what kind of role modelling they received, but that kind of thing is intimacy between two people and should not be shared with the rest of the world. The blanket really pushes things a bit far. You don...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Dating?, trouble with girls, teenage dating
trouble with girls, teenage dating, great relationship: Hi It sounds like you are a great mom and have a great relationship with your son. What i see more and more these days is parents thinking stricter is better and that if a kid isnt allowed to do anything that might lead to a compromising situation they wont...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter: curfew + consequences, money allowance, government youth
money allowance, government youth, priviledges: Dear Tina: You feel depressed and hopeles because you have given your power to your teenager daughter. You need your personal power back. This isn t just about her it is also about you. You do not deserve to be treated so disrespectfully. Yes, by all...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter and Dating, negative behavior, good kid
negative behavior, good kid, teenage daughter: Kim, you are doing all the right things...Tough Love is best in this situation. You can only keep trying, and also stress that what you are asking her to do is in HER BEST LONG TERM INTEREST. It is not for your comfort and benefit as much as it s for hers....

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter, nasty battle, friends mom
nasty battle, friends mom, bad grades: Since your daughter did what she was suppose to do, it would be okay to let her go by her friends house, but I would contact her friends mom to make sure she will be there when the girls watch a movie. Also have your daughter call from her friends house...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughters, dear kelly, mood swings
dear kelly, mood swings, teenage daughters: Dear Kelly, From what you are telling me you have two health normal teens you are worried about? Mood swings are common with teens and unless they are swinging in extremes I would just be grateful they are doing so one at a time. Can you imagine what your...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage dating and privacy, room 99, teenage dating
room 99, teenage dating, time to go home: One of the things to keep in mind is that this is the time in your daughter s life when you begin to put to the test what you ve already taught her. You ve spent 16 years teaching her right from wrong, instilling in her your values. Now, while she s still...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage dating/relationships, dating relationships, sexual behavior
dating relationships, sexual behavior, amount of time: You did a great job of explaining, and what I think is this is pretty normal behavior for a 16-year-old boy with his first real girlfriend. The first thing I always encourage parents to do is to stop focusing on what your child is doing and start trying...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter/dating/sneaking out, birth control pills, new boyfriend
birth control pills, new boyfriend, sophmore: Hello, Well, you ve got a tough situation here. But I think it can be straightened out. You and your husband need to have a series of sit-down discussions with her. What needs to happen is that you end up with an agreement whereby she agrees she will not...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter's GED party, ged exam, openhouse
ged exam, openhouse, angry kid: Dear Lisa, I think you are absolutley right. Keep up the TOUGH LOVE as this is the only way you can deal with her. But if you still have problems ask for help from James Windell. He is another all experts person who you can contact through his web site...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter and sex, michael riera, clinton lewinsky
michael riera, clinton lewinsky, sexual terms: I m going to recommend a really great book to you. It s by Dr. Michael Riera, and it s titled Staying Connected with Your Teenager . You can find it on Amazon.com. Dr. Riera addresses the best way (and even the time of day) to get kids to open up to...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter sneaking out, waffle house, loss of a friend
waffle house, loss of a friend, dangerous behavior: One of the easiest mistakes we, as parents, can make is to focus on our children s behavior as the problem. Behavior is always a symptom, and we have to figure out what is really going on before we can help our kids. Has your daughter gone through any...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage dress, work ethic, boudaries
work ethic, boudaries, vacaction: Marcie, Part of an exchange is that a student experiences other cultures and ways of life. It is not an extended vacaction where you get to do whatever you wish. You should have the same ruels for your student that you would for your own children. If she...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage honesty, keith o brien, futurepoint
keith o brien, futurepoint, teenaged girls: Sandra - i responded to your question a few days ago, but apparently the system didn t capture it. So, here it goes again. I offered some input around the following ideas... You may consider... 1. Sitting both daughters down and simply talk it out...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage lying, positive reinforcement, school homework
positive reinforcement, school homework, decent grades: Dear Jim: Outside of your son s lying you are not indicating any other problems. I think he is pushing your buttons because you have made a big deal that this is a button for you. There are many reasons why this might be happening. Let s discuss a few....

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, school age kids, condems
school age kids, condems, respect women: Hi, Kevin- You know, this is one of the problems for the age in which we live.  In our day, this would never have even come up as an issue, but nowadays condoms are being passed out freely at schools, some even middle school age!  Kids see them, think they...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, planned parent, condems
planned parent, condems, reading materials: Dear Kevin: I don t know that you get him to stop. Him know how to use them could keep you both from being a grandparent and a father some day down the road. Sounds though like he is just curious. It may even been sexually arousing to him. How...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, condems, sex doctor
condems, sex doctor, google: Dear Kevin, He may already know from other kids more than you think and it may even be incorrect information. YOU must be the one to honestly sit down and talk with him about these things and being responsible. If you need more help, check online for...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, condems, time kevin
condems, time kevin, teenage son: Kevin, You need to tell him now otherwise someone else will. Yes, they probably are funny to someone who doesn t know what they are for. At 14 your son should know about sex and condoms. It may be uncomfortable for you, but think about the consequences of...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, health curriculum, condems
health curriculum, condems, today parents: Hi Kevin, Your son knows the purpose of the condoms. The school system has been teaching sex education as a part of the health curriculum for over twenty years now. It is also normal for him to be curious about his sexuality. However, he may want your attention,...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son, james windell, condems
james windell, condems, teachable moment: Hello Kevin, This is a great opportunity to talk to your son about sexuality. It s what some people might refer to as a teachable moment. However, you might shift your goal just a bit. First, I don t think you can stop your son from being interested...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Son - Girlfriend has him "trapped", talented kid, teenage son
talented kid, teenage son, risky business: Hello Debbie, As you are well aware, trying to break up a teenager who is in love is risky business. Anytime you attack his girlfriend or say anything negative about her, he will jealousy defend her. So what can you do? I would suggest that you...

Parenting --Teens: My Teenage Son and Peer Pressure, wrong choices, succeeding in school
wrong choices, succeeding in school, skipping school: Hello Connie, No, it s not all about peer pressure. First, he has to be attracted to friends who don t care about school. Second, he has to give up former friends and begin spending time with negative peers. So, there are reasons for this. It may be...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage sex, first sexual encounters, sexual intercourse
first sexual encounters, sexual intercourse, skipping school: Hello Sharon, These are difficult issues for parents. Research shows that teenagers first sexual encounters are often at home. And it s difficult toi know how to handle it when you discover your teen has had sexual intercourse. That being said, you have...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage sister and my husband, james windell, journals and diaries
james windell, journals and diaries, teenage sister: Hello Josephine, There is nothing particularly abnormal about reading someone else s diary. Obviously, if he was reading her diary, either he does have a concern or he is very curious about what she s writing in her diary. Either way, you and your husband...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son, depressed woman, self confidence
depressed woman, self confidence, teenage son: I spoke with two associates of mine and sought their input and advice regarding your situation. They are both clinical psychologists and are highly respected in their field. I showed them your question without telling them my response to you. They offered...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son, good relationship, outgoing person
good relationship, outgoing person, play sports: Hi Sara, I think you re right. It is all a part of him trying to find himself. It doesn t mean it s any easier -- for him or his parents. It can be a lengthy and troublesome journey, as a teenager, to find yourself. Frequently, kids try on all sorts of...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son's clothes and friends, skateboarding clothes, church youth group
skateboarding clothes, church youth group, time amy: Amy, Isn t parenting fun? A lot of normal concerns...so I am going to give you some things to think about and consider here. 1. Your son is 13 and is now entering the time where he is desperately trying to make sense of the world and find out who...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son on way to Texas Youth Commission, pastor don carpenter, adult supervision
pastor don carpenter, adult supervision, right choices: Hello Terri, If your son is seeing a therapist, skilled in working with teens, and if he is seeing a psychiatrist, who has prescribed medication, maybe he is getting all the help he needs at present. However, if you re looking for additional help, you...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage son, saturday school, sick person
saturday school, sick person, teenage son: Dear Sandy, Yes, you did need to talk and that is because you are raising a child now teenager! Let t seperate the issues out here. Your son is 15 years old. Developmentally he is trying to seperate from you emotionally, physically and spiritually,...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage soon to be stepdaughters, james windell, stepparent
james windell, stepparent, single father: Hello John, Your fiance is right. It s very normal for stepchildren to ignore, resent and be hostile to a stepparent -- even when they like the idea of the marriage. My advice to you (and I am a stepparent, so I know a little bit about this first hand)...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager changing High Schools, daughter mallory, high schools
daughter mallory, high schools, school year: Hello Keith, I can understand why you would you prefer her to change high schools. That s a lot of driving every day! On the other hand, if she has her established friends at her high school, moving to a new one will be difficult. However, if there is...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager cutting classes, smart mind, cutting classes
smart mind, cutting classes, adult woman: Dear BT, I know of no way to get an almost adult woman to go to class. I think she will have to find her way back to class on her own. What I can suggest is taking some time when just the two of you can talk. Maybe do something she likes to do and have...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager lacks follow through, church youth group, team situation
church youth group, team situation, extracurricular activity: Hello Sheri, I can understand your concern regarding your 14-year-old son. Loyalty and attachment to a group is an important component in a teen s adjustment. And I think becomes an important aspect of motivation. His peer group does the motivating -- rather...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager that moved in with dad, good relationship, stepson
good relationship, stepson, adolescence: Hello Cindy, Since I raised two kids through adolescence and now live with my 17-year-old stepson, I think I understand what you re feeling. It is very normal and common for middle teenagers to pull away from their parents. As they strive to be more independent,...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager Problems, teenager problems, b cup
teenager problems, b cup, keeping a journal: Amy, I would do the following. Let them know that if a fight starts between them they will both be grounded of taken off the computer or whatever. It doesn t matter who started it, who did what where it started when it started how it started both will be...

Parenting --Teens: Teenager wants to quit club, school drama club, high school drama club
school drama club, high school drama club, broadway musicals: Hello Mary, I think you have to respond to an exchange student the same way you should respond to your own child. However, that does not mean lecturing or scolding. I think the better approach is to raise questions that help her to reflect on what she...

Parenting --Teens: Teenagers warning signs of trouble, developmental milestones, warning signs that
developmental milestones, warning signs that, signs of trouble: Hi Regina, any significant change in behaviour that doesn t pass within a few days is possibly the sign of problems. Some examples may be: not going out with friends, not going to school, staying in room, not showering, eating changes, etc., etc. Of course...

Parenting --Teens: Teens and Relationships, first sexual encounter, strange car
first sexual encounter, strange car, s young: Hi Suzanne, I m sorry to hear your daughter has become fixated on this relationship and is missing out on relationships with other boys. You might start by having a direct conversation with the young man and soliciting his help in having him stay away...

Parenting --Teens: Teens and telephone time, james windell, family priorities
james windell, family priorities, phone conversations: Hello Linda, No, I don t think you are beig over protective? It is important to set limits for children. I don t think there is a certain age at which children can have boyfriends or girlfriends or be allowed to talk for an hour on the phone each day....

Parenting --Teens: Teens with younger parents, james windell, parenting attitudes
james windell, parenting attitudes, parent child relationship: Hello Ariel, You re raising an interesting question. I don t know there is a lot of research on this question -- except as it concerns teenagers (who are parents) raising young children. Young parents tend not to be as settled as older parents. That is,...

Parenting --Teens: Telling my kids that they are about to have a step-brother or sister, planned pregnancy, step brother
planned pregnancy, step brother, honest don: John, You are replacing them. Everything you have done is a replacement. You remarried(replaced wife) moved away from them(replaced your living environment) Got pregnant on purpose(new kid to replace old). This is what happens when adults put their desires...

Parenting --Teens: Terrible problems with one of the twins, fraternal twin boys, brain damage
fraternal twin boys, brain damage, schoolwork: Hello Todd, It sounds like you understand your son very well. And you see what the potential problems are for him in the future. The fact that he lacks social skills is the big problem for his future. You may be right in terms of not seeing a therapist...

Parenting --Teens: THREE KIDS AND GOING CRAZY, refresher class, being a baby
refresher class, being a baby, own a business: Hi Lisa, I think as a parent we can get overwhelmed when everyone (including ourselves) expects us to solve the problems. Solving problems for others is an awesome responsibility. And it can be both depressing and stress-producing. Here s my suggestion:...

Parenting --Teens: Thanks for your replyThe..., foster mom, biological child
foster mom, biological child, case worker: Yes she does need to notify the case worker that she will be gone for that long, but in most cases that will not be an issue or problem. Same as if it were a biological child, she could be held responsible for certian things. Such as a voilent crime, skipping...

Parenting --Teens: Thieving Teen, step daughter, stepdaughter
step daughter, stepdaughter, bad behavior: Marnie, If you married a weak man then it is going to make parenting all the more difficult. You can attempt to lay the law down but it probably will cause more strife in the family. You may need to make an ultimatum to your husband if you are not willing...

Parenting --Teens: Toddler ear infection, middle ear infection, vicki lansky
middle ear infection, vicki lansky, ear drums: Dear Mindy, You should definitely let them put in the tubes. This ear surgery is very common among preschoolers, even those your child s age and younger. Many children go through misery that they cannot defne or explain due to recurring ear infections, until...

Parenting --Teens: Toddler potty problems, james windell, verbal praise
james windell, verbal praise, potty chair: Hello Chickenlittle, Problems with potty training are very much normal at age three. Although this may not apply to your situation, often 3-year-olds show problems with bathroom behavior when there is a power struggle with their parents. My suggestion...

Parenting --Teens: TROUBLED 7YR OLD, heart to heart talk, strong willed child
heart to heart talk, strong willed child, baby language: Hi Carron~ Have you sat down with her and a heart to heart talk with her? If not,then maybe it s time to do so. Ask her why she s acting this way. See if you can get to the bottom of these issues. You might even try and reward system and see if that...

Parenting --Teens: Trade school, time earnings, vocational schools
time earnings, vocational schools, education classes: Hello Randy, I can tell you some pros and cons for trade school based on my experience. I m not sure if there is any research to back up my observations and opinions. The case for trade school: 1. Often there are plenty of jobs available for young people...

Parenting --Teens: Trade school, opera soprano, guidance counselors
opera soprano, guidance counselors, happy high school: Actually, I REALLY AM an expert on this question! Thanks for asking. My daughter knew what she wanted to do from the age of five. She was single-minded, never changing. She arranged something called concurrent enrollment taking college courses which...

Parenting --Teens: Troubled 18 year old, term consequences, bad decisions
term consequences, bad decisions, phone insurance: Hello Cheryl, Whether you bail him out or not, he will have had a short experience in jail. I would hope that this would be a wake-up call for him; one that says to him that he has to take greater responsibility for his life. Since he has committed a felony,...

Parenting --Teens: Troubled Teen, temper tantrums, mother and grandmother
temper tantrums, mother and grandmother, smoking pot: Hello Tish, I think you re moving in the right direction. It s obvious he doesn t learn from family members trying to be helpful and kind. He has to learn on his own. Things are not getting better by living with you or others. Therefore, he s got to try...

Parenting --Teens: Troubled Teen, new attitude, good girls
new attitude, good girls, alcoholic father: Hello Rebecca, I don t think moving will help these young ladies start over. It would be nice if with a new man in her life who seems like a person who could be a very good husband and stepfather that a move would help every one. Maybe it would, but I...

Parenting --Teens: Troubling behaviors from our teen son, academic progress report, adderall xr
academic progress report, adderall xr, magnet middle school: Hello Cherie, You deserve a lot of credit for adopting children and raising them in a good home. There is no easy answer as to how to motivate an unmotivated teenager. You have enough parenting experience to have tried all the various ways of helping kids....

Parenting --Teens: Tweenage daughter, adolescent years, intents and purposes
adolescent years, intents and purposes, troublesome behavior: Hello Heather, For all intents and purposes, your daughter is an adolescent. And as you know, girls can be particularly emotional and volatile during the early adolescent years (ages 10 or 11 to 15). Their most emotional and aggressive behaviors frequently...

Parenting --Teens: Tweens and "dating", phone conversations, first kiss
phone conversations, first kiss, precarious situation: Your instincts about this situation are spot on. This is perfectly normal, and your stepdaughter s privacy is being tromped on. Her mother is going to sabotage any opportunity for a relationship with her if she doesn t change her approach. Unfortunately,...

Parenting --Teens: Twin Teen boys driving us to distraction!, harsh repression, disaster zones
harsh repression, disaster zones, middle teens: Hello Eva, Your twins are going through the adolescnt slob phase. Many parents of middle teens complain about the same things you re complaining about. Their behavior is so common because it represents a phase of development. What happens with middle...

Parenting --Teens: can't stop lieing, first approach, reprimand
first approach, reprimand, hard time: Hello Tracye, You haven t mentioned how you are trying to handle this 13-year-old who lies and needs attention. Perhaps you can email me again and tell me what you are trying to do. I would suggest that there are two ways of attempting to deal with a lying...

Parenting --Teens: back talk, arguement, good mood
arguement, good mood, vinegar: Hi Jackie~ Sit down and talk to him/her. Even though they may roll the eyes and say what they may say, they will listen to you and take it in. If you get mad and argue with them, they ll just want to argue their point that much more. When you talk with...

Parenting --Teens: talking with my 15 year old son, music concerts, loving son
music concerts, loving son, good kid: Being a teenager is difficult, and it is equally difficult to be the parent of a teenager, especially the quiet, artistic ones, although on the plus side, typically it is those teens that are trying to come to grips with this thing we call life and probably...

Parenting --Teens: teeange communication, college scholarship, education background
college scholarship, education background, football basketball: Carol, Yes, this sounds like a difficult situation. If his grades suffer, then he needs to be out of sports. This should happen now. If he is shown that he can skate by and still be in sports that is wrong. All the men will not agree with you probably because...

Parenting --Teens: teen advice, continuation school, domestic violence shelter
continuation school, domestic violence shelter, hurricane charley: Dear Joanne, I apologize for taking so long to respond to your question. I was volunteering crisis counseling in South Florida to the survivors of hurricane Charley and only recently returned. As for your daughter, yes there are several things you can...

Parenting --Teens: teen behavioral problems, puberty girls, critical age
puberty girls, critical age, verbal messages: Hi Denise, there is really no way you can successfully stop your son from smoking dope as you aren t with him 24/7. I think you need to realize that 15 is a critical age (puberty, girls, etc) and it happens to be the time your family is splitting up. It...

Parenting --Teens: teen boy and mother, positive reinforcements, teenagers behavior
positive reinforcements, teenagers behavior, last christmas: I am not of the not giving enough in other areas school of thought on this. Frankly, I see your son exhibiting a type of behavior that has become all too common with today s teenagers - including my 14-year-old. When we were kids, we were taught to be...

Parenting --Teens: teen dating, good kid, tough times
good kid, tough times, having sex: Randy, I don t think you are wrong. You only have the ability to influence your children for a short period of time. Allowing this boy to consistently be there to influence her probably isn t the best thing. Giving both of them boundaries would be a better...

Parenting --Teens: teen dating, adult guidance, raging hormones
adult guidance, raging hormones, sexual activity: Dear Cheyanne, Absolutely NOT. These children are experiencing raging hormones and confusion about their sexuality. They also tend to want to disagree with their parents about most things. BUT without adult guidance and firm clear discussions about limits...

Parenting --Teens: on teen dating., bad idea, matter of factly
bad idea, matter of factly, obligation: Tracy, As a mom you have the obligation to train your daughter in appropriate behavior. If boyfriend is over too much then you need to tell her this matter of factly. If she gets angry then too bad. You are the parent you need to set the rules up. Having...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter's boyfriend is a thief, intense relationship, volunteer activities
intense relationship, volunteer activities, divorced parents: Hello Sheila, Setting a trap for him or trying to prove to your daughter that he is a flawed person is likely to backfire on you. So, I don t suggest that. The best thing you have going with her is communication. If she is talking about important issues...

Parenting --Teens: my teen daughter has 'cinderella' complex, kiss my butt, adult conversation
kiss my butt, adult conversation, time attention: You might not like my suggestion on this, but if a teen refuses to treat people with respect and be a horrible person to every little thing alive needs to be put in a school that will not tolerate bad behavior. A special school will teach her right from...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter hates her younger sister, sibling rivarly, google
sibling rivarly, google, daughters ages: Dear Alicia: YES! I can give you some suggestions. Usually sibling rivarly is about one thing, YOUR TIME. They start picking on each other because they are feeling slighted and even though teens or preteens don t want you to know it YOU are still the center...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter relationship/sex, male hormones, physical relationship
male hormones, physical relationship, sexual experiences: Well from the information that you are giving me about their ages and his past experiences, it seems like this could be a relationship that shouldn t be trusted. HOWEVER, from the other information about how he treats you daughter and taking her to church...

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter rude and disrespectful toward mom's boyfriend, christmas eve, teen daughter
christmas eve, teen daughter, school functions: Dear Kristina: On the surface this just appears to be a control issue between your daughter and yourself. However, this statement that you included bothers me, He has never done anything to harm this child (to which she will readily admit) DO YOU SUSPECT...

Parenting --Teens: teen fantasy?, birds and the bees, teen fantasy
birds and the bees, teen fantasy, sexual body: Dear Carol, Have you had the birds and the bees talk yet? If so maybe getting a good illustrative manual which shows body parts and explains what they each do would help. You of course setting down with him and explaining what they are all for and answering...

Parenting --Teens: teen's first car, keith o brien, mother s day card
keith o brien, mother s day card, futurepoint: Sandra, Do you have any adult friends you can ask to give your son a lesson? Perhaps one of your neighbors? Maybe you could go to his school and ask his teacher for a favor. Regardless of who you find, my suggestion would be that you BOTH take the lessons....

Parenting --Teens: My teen will not get focused, what can I do to help him before he ruins his life., bad behavior, going to college
bad behavior, going to college, spending money: Amanda, Protecting your son by spending money on him is not helping him. He needs to experience the consequences of his behavior. This means that he doesn t live with you if he has the bad behavior. If you give him a place to fall back to when he has bad...

Parenting --Teens: teen lying/bad decisions, criminal sexual abuse, daughter need
criminal sexual abuse, daughter need, petty reasons: Hi Sallie, I m sorry to hear about the problems your daughter is having. You re asking an important question. Is taking her to a psychiatrist going to be taking her to someone who is more qualified to help her? It is not the credential that makes someone...

Parenting --Teens: teen lying, apology letter, punishments
apology letter, punishments, teammates: Joan, What use are leadership opportunities if your son is a liar? The very thing (in my opinion) that ties into sending a strong and not tolerate it message is one of taking sports away. I think something is going on, but you will not get the full picture...

Parenting --Teens: My teen and money, james windell, value money
james windell, value money, own clothes: Hello Daniela, Why should she value money. In her house it it always there for her. You need to stop paying for everything. If she s working, then she should pay for her own gas, maybe her car insurance, buy her own clothes and so on. When you stop providing,...

Parenting --Teens: teen with no motivation and no goal, smoking marijuana, self esteem issues
smoking marijuana, self esteem issues, dropping out of college: Well, before you ever mentioned marijuana, I began to suspect it. You re describing a pothead. Users like to think it doesn t have any effect on them, but the effect pot has is it strips a person of any trace of motivation. I suspect your son has used for...

Parenting --Teens: teen pregnancy in georgia, baby at home, stupid pills
baby at home, stupid pills, full time job: Hi, Mandy- You didn t say how old your friend is, but I can tell she is obviously under the age of 21 or her brain would be developed enough to realize how STUPID that would be to do. Hopefully you are intelligent enough to dissuade her from making...

Parenting --Teens: teen pregnancy, pregnancy question, drug addict
pregnancy question, drug addict, dfacs: Oh Danielle, I was so happy to see that my question was a follow-up from you. You seem like such a nice girl to have been in a bad situation. Just hold your head up high and continue to study and know what your rights are. You are smart to get on the internet...

Parenting --Teens: teen priorities, point in time, priorities
point in time, priorities, part time: So stop paying for her lunches and other extras. If she drives make her pay for her insurance and gas. Tell her that if she doesnt work to make the money, then she cannot do the things that need to be done. And if she doesnt stay in school she has to move...

Parenting --Teens: teen priorities, consquence, wrong decision
consquence, wrong decision, most teens: Hi Leone~ Unfortunately most teens think that they know everything and that the parents don t know anything. And if their parents try and give them advice or tell them anything they are being too bossy and controlling in the teens eyes. She s going...

Parenting --Teens: teen priorities, keith o brien, youth resources
keith o brien, youth resources, point in time: Leone, Your daughter is trying to find herself, her place so to speak - and is likely exploring different things and resents anyone trying to tell her what to do. Most people don t like to be told what to do, let alone teenagers. Just remember that. ...

Parenting --Teens: teen punishment, acceptable answers, anger management
acceptable answers, anger management, choice of music: Before you administer punishment, you need to get to the source of this. Start with a conversation about why he would even consider letting those words come out of his mouth. I don t know , I was just mad , and she did ______ are not acceptable answers....

Parenting --Teens: teen punishments, mother daughter relationship, keith o brien
mother daughter relationship, keith o brien, breaking all the house rules: Candace, Punishments rarely work unless the conversation attached to the punishments hits home. Focus in on how to shift so that your dialogue actually gets through to her. Work on your relationship so that her respect level increases. With that said,...

Parenting --Teens: teen relationships, teen relationships, teenage girls
teen relationships, teenage girls, good job: Dear Donna: Yes you are being overly concerned. She hasn t talked to you about it probably because it is not an issue for her. I am slightly surprised by your question as most parents are trying to get their teenage girls away from the boys???? Insisting...

Parenting --Teens: teen runaway, responsbility, returning home
responsbility, returning home, state laws: Hello M, You know, the first thing that occurs to me is that the people that are housing him are in violation of most state laws. They can be charged with several different crimes depending on your state law. That is something you can find out from the...

Parenting --Teens: teen sometimes disrespectful to siblings, razor tongue, alcoholic family
razor tongue, alcoholic family, sister 2: Dear Diane, A boy of fifteen needs space when he can get it, and also time with the man in his life. I would respect his desire not to go on vacation with you, and allow him to stay home with his father. Fifteen is the toughest age any of us face. ...

Parenting --Teens: teen son stealing from me, private school tuition, spanish language program
private school tuition, spanish language program, intensive spanish language: Hi Nancy, first put your expensive things away so he doesn t have the opportunity to take anything. Hide the credit cards. He should not have access to anything liek that. Who really knows why he is doing it, maybe he is angry, maybe he is selling the things...

Parenting --Teens: About my teen son, stealing cars, neigborhood
stealing cars, neigborhood, 14yr: Amy, I am going to talk to you here the only way I know how...being honest. I can t even attempt to guess exactly what is going on inside of your son s head, but I can relate to his path at 14 because mine was very similar. With that, I can tell you what...

Parenting --Teens: Our teen sons troubling behavior, academic progress report, adderall xr
academic progress report, adderall xr, magnet middle school: Dear Cherie: Hm.....I am not sure you will like my responses however, I am not hear to tell you what you want to hear. First thing I noticed about this message was how many negative descriptors are used to describe your son s behavior, i.e., lazy,...

Parenting --Teens: Our teen sons troubling behavior, natural aptitude, jazz trombone
natural aptitude, jazz trombone, jazz musicians: Good luck...keep trying. Has he seen any Jazz trombone players or quartets or trios? If you have any access to seeing live jazz musicians, it may help. Has he ever seen a really good gospel choir in an African American church? Just passing that on... Be...

Parenting --Teens: teen stealing and lying, low self esteem, custody dispute
low self esteem, custody dispute, counceling: Dear Tara: You can tell her that you love her and that she is a grown up now and you have full confidence that she knows best how to live her life. She needs to get a job and move out. Her actions need to have consequences and she cannot feel these consequences...

Parenting --Teens: teenage arguements, family rows, heat of the moment
family rows, heat of the moment, teenage daughters: Best thing to do for now, tell your daughter you and others in her family can not have secrets told to her due to the fact she cannot keep secrets to herself especially when she gets mad. When she can be trusted and mature alittle more where she understands...

Parenting --Teens: teenage blackmail, legal responsibilities, maintanance
legal responsibilities, maintanance, blackmail: Hello Hilda, So, what are you teaching your son if you give into this kind of blackmail? I suspect there are all sorts of wrong messages you would be conveying to your son. On the other hand, his threat to go and live with his father is real. He may...

Parenting --Teens: teenage boy is lazy, inquistive, sex drugs
inquistive, sex drugs, world share: Karen, a 15 year old is reading without being forced to! Wonderful! I hear what you are saying though and it can be tough when the gears change. There is a cause and it could be just about anything. Have you asked him? I mean, really been inquistive...

Parenting --Teens: teenage boy, middle teens, sexual intercourse
middle teens, sexual intercourse, sexual relationship: Hello Lisa, I don t know that family counseling is going to accomplish what you want it to. I do think parents, particularly mothers, have a great influence on their teens when it comes to sexuality. That, however, involves continued talking and conversations....

Parenting --Teens: teenage cutting, counselling, suicide
counselling, suicide: Hi Jo, generally cutting is not about suicide but is a way of releasing pain. It is not the greatest coping skill but is common amongst young people. The best thing you can do is to be very talkative with her. That way she doesn t have to keep the pain...

Parenting --Teens: teenage dating, reason teens, modification tools
reason teens, modification tools, poor decision: Lynn, Another name for parenting is training. So if your otherwise morally sound daughter is off the mark in your training program then you do everything you can to get her back on the mark. This means you don t worry about her liking you or not. You don...

Parenting --Teens: teenage dating, age gap, popularity contest
age gap, popularity contest, couple times: Dear Rita: I agree with you there is too big of an age gap here between 14 almost 15 and his 18. However, you are going to need to approach this delicately. You have the upper hand here as I am sure he understands what her being underage means to him legally....

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter, teenage daughter, boyfriends
teenage daughter, boyfriends, consequences: Rick, Your daughter is asking for something outrageous. I just read that it is fashionable no to be pregnant. Will you let your daughter do this because it s with the times? Hopefully not. My point is that you are the parent she is the kid. She is in your...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter acting out and depressed, household rules, mood disorder
household rules, mood disorder, positive direction: Tammy, I am so sorry to hear how full your hands are right now. I have to ask you because you said your daughter is only 14, is depressed and is acting out sexually.....is she being sexually or physically abused? Children this age do not usually act...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter acting out and depressed, household rules, poor relationship
household rules, poor relationship, mood disorder: Hello Tammy, There are reasons why your daughter has developed these problems, although they might not be real clear to you. However, off hand, I d say that she is reacting to being in the midst of adolescence, having a stepfather come into the family...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter getting closer to having sex with undesirable boyfriend, birth control pills, outpatient substance abuse
birth control pills, outpatient substance abuse, substance abuse program: Holly, Your job is to protect your teen and keep them on the right path. So whatever you need to do to protect is what you need to do. If that means chaperoning, changing schools, moving, taking door of hinges. You daughter probably doesn t believe you are...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter who is out of control, midnight weekends, skipping school
midnight weekends, skipping school, thoughts of suicide: Hi Chris, well she is certainly trying to send you a message it s just not clear what that message is. Is it possible that she has a drug problem? You don t say why you think she is depressed- has she shared that with you? Even though she is at an age where...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter, daughter dear, graduation ceremony
daughter dear, graduation ceremony, consistantly: Hello Katherine, Sorry for the delay in responding. Your daughter seems to have some serious problems, but since she is 18 there s a limit on what you can insist on or require. Besides that, she s living with her father. I know, just as you know, that...

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughters, jail children, teenage daughters
jail children, teenage daughters, 18th birthday: Dear Pennie, My heart goes out to you....you are having a tough time and trying to show your daughter tough love...showing her you love her but that she must take responsibility for her actions. It hurts, but love is extending yourself for another s growth,...

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience, disrespectful attitude, living hell
disrespectful attitude, living hell, spring vacation: Sounds like daughter has control of the family not dad. Try to explain to your bf calmly and rationally that the main reason you will not go on any trips due to the fact his daughter has control of him and her attitude needs to be worked on definitely....

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience, disrespectful attitude, living hell
disrespectful attitude, living hell, spring vacation: Hi Suzi... Isn t it fun to walk into other people s dramas? Thank you for caring enough to seek some guidance. Without a lot of info or seeing/speaking to the teen, it s really difficult to say what is or is not happening. What we have to remember...

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience, disrespectful attitude, acting this way
disrespectful attitude, acting this way, healthy relationships: Dear Suzi, It sounds like the girl has been acting this way for years; it does not sound like a new behavior...just a pattern that can happen when parents don t deal with the problem early enough. At this point, the dad needs to take charge and put a stop...

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience, james windell, difficult teenagers
james windell, difficult teenagers, disrespectful attitude: Hello Suzi, Difficult teenagers can spoil a lot of family fun. Often talking about feelings with an oppositional and angry teen isn t going to accomplish much. A better approach may be to deal with the limits and provide consequences and punishment when...

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience, disrespectful attitude, living hell
disrespectful attitude, living hell, spring vacation: Unfortnately, there comes a time when all rational, calm understanding must be replaced with a firm hand and appropriate consequences no matter how upset the parent doling out this punishment may be by it. This girl has learned that no matter what she does...

Parenting --Teens: teenage girl, defensive behaviors, parenting styles
defensive behaviors, parenting styles, feedback and coaching: Hi Marian, One of the toughest things I have had to learn is how to separate who I am (my authentic being), from the current results I am experiencing. And, how to receive feedback in a way that it is useful and not taking it personally. My guess is...

Parenting --Teens: teenage liar, step dad, aged sex
step dad, aged sex, long weekends: Sue, I would encourage you to do the following if you feel like your hands are tied. Take her door off the hinges and pack up her room. That means leave the bare necessities in there. Mattress and blankets and one change of clothes. She need to experience...

Parenting --Teens: teenage lying and stealing, marriage issues, stealing money
marriage issues, stealing money, stable environment: Dear Brenda: You said she has done well in the past. So this behavior is new. Something has happened. Children do not just go bad. There are so many things I could discuss here. The possibility of someone abusing her (at school or somewhere else), the...

Parenting --Teens: teenage obsession, teenage obsession, light through the trees
teenage obsession, light through the trees, slamming doors: Hello Kathy, Helping a young person see things in a different way is always a problem of major league dimensions. This is particularly true when it concerns a boyfriend or girlfriend. Let me suggest that you keep the problem in perspective. That is, what...

Parenting --Teens: teenage rebellion, teen rebellion, teenage rebellion
teen rebellion, teenage rebellion, m kay: Dear Ren: This could take sometime and I am sure more than a few dissertations have been written about this topic. However the short version is teens rebel as a way of separating themselves from their parents and becoming their own person. We want them...

Parenting --Teens: teenage sex, james windell, sexual taboos
james windell, sexual taboos, emotional consequences: Hello Roxanne, This kind of situation can certainly be upsetting. But I think you do have to keep things in perspective. Many young teenagers have sexual intercourse -- often without their parents finding out. And it often happens at the home of one of...

Parenting --Teens: teenage sex, ninja turtles, thinking about sex
ninja turtles, thinking about sex, arent: this may be a problem when your 13 yrs. old u arent supose to be thinking about sex u are suppose to be thinkin about ninja turtles and action figures i think the best thing you can possibly do is talk to you son if that doesnt get through to him take him...

Parenting --Teens: teenage sister, keith o brien, futurepoint
keith o brien, futurepoint, teenage sister: Ryan, Are you raising all of these kids, including your sister, on your own? What is the situation and how did you get to this point? Just to create some context for me. Obviously, there is something to your sisters behavior. Next time in conversation,...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage son, good work ethic, part time job
good work ethic, part time job, staring at the wall: Trudi, I can t imagine he sits around that house all day staring at the wall. There are things that he is motivated to do right? Hanging with friends, getting on my space etc... You may not have a son that is going to be the next genius. You have to come...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage son is angry and has left home, anger management classes, last saturday night
anger management classes, last saturday night, home walls: Robyn, You have seen the result of not holding him accountable. How many times did you call the police to report and out of control teen or to report vancalism that had been created in your home. Your teen gets away with stuff because he is allowed to. Now...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son cell phone use, night after christmas, bad temper
night after christmas, bad temper, first offense: Hi Katrina, Just a follow-up regarding the juvenile court. I ve worked in a juvenile court for close to 30 years of my career. Juvenile courts can be an excellent resource for some problems. But they have their limitations, too. Once you get into the system...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son claims to be bi, random checks, hey james
random checks, hey james, surliness: Hello Cheryl, Like most teenagers, your son is trying on different roles and identities to figure out who he is. Your job is to act like a parent and then that gives him a chance to rebel and to try on weird clothes, hair styles and even sexual identities....

Parenting --Teens: teenage son lies about his age, anger issues, teenage behavior
anger issues, teenage behavior, personality disorder: Every child is different (and is there ever really any normal teenage behavior?), so I am simply going to tell you my experiences with this type of thing, and what helped me. When I was younger, I never wanted to hang out with people my age. Either they...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son is having sex, first time having sex, steady girlfriend
first time having sex, steady girlfriend, keith o brien: Susan, Here are my two cents...spend them how you see best. Without knowing more of the history, I ll throw out a bunch of scenarios so you can choose which is true for you. IF you and your husband have talked with your son about sex and specifically...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage son, respectable school, bad temper
respectable school, bad temper, hearted person: Dear Noura: First of all you are not taking up my time as this is what I do with my time. You are most welcome to have posted here, although I am curious as to how you found me in a middle eastern country! So glad you did. As for your son. I am very...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage sons' behavior, credit denial, tae kwon
credit denial, tae kwon, calling me names: Lily, I am sure you have asked your son what his deal is and why he is hurting you so much. If you haven t...you should. He has to know he is causing you pain. He may legitmately feel like he should be blaming you, but i would doubt that he actually...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage Triplets..............., brother matt, elder brother
brother matt, elder brother, car crash: Chris, First of all, i am so sorry for the loss of your wife and mother to your 4 boys. My mother died nearly 2 years ago and the only way i can put it is that it sucks. I couldn t even imagine having to deal with it as a teenager. I certainly can...

Parenting --Teens: teenager behavior, adolescent behavior, teen behavior
adolescent behavior, teen behavior, google: I would suggest two search engines first google the topic of adolescent behavior or studies on adolescent behavior or go to www.findarticles.com and do the same. There are more articles out there than you can begin to imagine. Was there something specific...

Parenting --Teens: teenager going to jail, james windell, juvenile detention center
james windell, juvenile detention center, status offenses: Hello Ruby, There are always other options when it comes to juveniles. You haven t indicated any charges against him other than running away and attempting to escape from the detention center. These are status offenses. What about placing him in a program...

Parenting --Teens: teenager lying/stealing, james windell, credit card numbers
james windell, credit card numbers, negative consequence: Hello Kim, You help teenagers understand that actions are wrong by telling them they are wrong. And you need to explain why. For example, you could say: Taking _____ s credit card numbers is stealing. That is wrong. We don t believe in stealing in this...

Parenting --Teens: teenager w/bi-polar, anxiety and depression, college job
anxiety and depression, college job, foster care youth: Angela, I am certainly not going to judge you regarding your decision, and this isn t really my area of expertise, but we do a fair amount of work with Foster Care youth, so i can at least speak to what it would be like if you turned your son over to the...

Parenting --Teens: teenagers, love & sex, birth control patch, mom and daughter
birth control patch, mom and daughter, failure rate: My first suggestion to you would be to take your daughter to the doctor to get some form of regular birth control that has less of a failure rate. Either one of the pills, there is a new birth control patch out that I use and like. The shot I dont normaly...

Parenting --Teens: teenagers and risk taking, binge drinkin, risk teenagers
binge drinkin, risk teenagers, health hazzard: Hi Brittany~ I think it s a combonation of things really. It seems that when teens hit a certain age (say 15-16) they suddenly think they know everything in the world. And their parents don t know squat. Peer pressure is the biggest influence to do things...

Parenting --Teens: teenagers and risk taking, binge drinkin, risk teenagers
binge drinkin, risk teenagers, homework question: Brittany, This sounds like a homework question? If not, then please give me the details of the specific situation you are dealing with and i ll do my best to be of service. If it is a homework question...keep researching, that s your job, not mine. ...

Parenting --Teens: teens don't listen, angry teenagers, teenage daughters
angry teenagers, teenage daughters, curfew: Dear Robbie, No it is not too much to ask your teens to help out around the house. However, I would recommend rather than taking away prviledges which tends to make for angry teenagers, instead you give them incentives to get their priviledges. For instance...

Parenting --Teens: teens and first jobs, james windell, getting a job
james windell, getting a job, spending money: Hello Kim, Generally, many teenagers are unmotivated to get a job unless there is a reason to do so. That is, if he has everything he needs -- playstations, computers, clothes, food, spending money, etc. -- why should he get a job? I would suggest you...

Parenting --Teens: teens and peer pressure, james windell, new crowd
james windell, new crowd, dangerous habits: Hi Connie, Peer pressure is often overrated. It may lead to teens trying new or different behaviors, but picking up dangerous habits or engaging in behavior problems relates more to personality traits. Teens have to be inclined to be around others who have...

Parenting --Teens: teens, physical mechanics, displays of affection
physical mechanics, displays of affection, using a condom: Hello Deven, While you may not have talked openly or explicitly about sexuality with your son, you have given him 13 years of information about the subject. One of the most important ways of communicating to children about sexuality is to raise them in...

Parenting --Teens: Should I throw my son out for smoking pot?, pot pipe, smoking pot
pot pipe, smoking pot, visine: Hello Sue, My suggestion is you stop giving him the use of your car and money, but you allow him to remain in your home for two months. But once he graduates from the police academy, tell him he must move out. Also, let him know that if he does anything...

Parenting --Teens: When is it time to let them stand and fall?, last nerve, depressants drugs
last nerve, depressants drugs, domestic battery: Oh, Spirit...my heart aches reading your letter. I cannot fathom what you have been through. I am so very sorry. This may be the hardest thing you ve ever done but you are doing the right thing. And I don t say that lightly, but I truly believe he s...

Parenting --Teens: troubled 12 yr. old, james windell, mood stabalizer
james windell, mood stabalizer, explosive child: Hello, Sorry to hear about the frustrations you experience with your child. The fact that he s seeing a psychologist should mean that you have access to this professional and can ask for help and advice. If you can t do this, you might ask for a referral...

Parenting --Teens: troubled 15 year old, egg shells, angry kids
egg shells, angry kids, learning disabilities: Hi Lynda, Sorry to hear about your son. He sounds very depressed and if his anger is excalating, he may need a medical evaluation from a Psychiatrist to go along with talk therapy. I can t help wondering what is ticking him off. I have had mixed...

Parenting --Teens: troubled 17-year-old, psychedelic mushrooms, miniature liquor
psychedelic mushrooms, miniature liquor, liquor bottle: Hello Elizabeth, There is a lot of pressure on you in this situation. And that s not quite fair. This young man has a substance abuse problem and his father needs to see that and work with you to get him some help. The first thing to do would be to get...

Parenting --Teens: troubled teen (19 year old girl), learning diabilities, vacation tomorrow
learning diabilities, vacation tomorrow, supervised visits: Helene, I will state the obvious, your daughter is out of control. She is an adult and you have NO, ZERO, NADA, no control over her. She CHOOSES to do what she likes. If you continue to enable her then she will continue to act like a child. I know you feel...

Parenting --Teens: troubled with troubled stepson, probation officers, minor trouble
probation officers, minor trouble, twin boys: HI, well first of all, TT doesn t care about the probation order because as of yet, he has gotten away with everything. You need to get probation involved as there are no consequences for his behaviour. They do not do home checks, that s fine, will they...

Parenting --Teens: trust and my 11 year old, potty mouths, poor judgment
potty mouths, poor judgment, wierd noises: Hello Angela, Trusting our kids means that we know what we can trust. There is all sorts of trust. You perhaps can trust that when she leaves home in the morning that she is really going to school. Or you can trust that when she says her homework is completed,...

Parenting --Teens: do I trust my son?, boyfriends and girlfriends, appearance of impropriety
boyfriends and girlfriends, appearance of impropriety, two teenagers: Hello Debbie, Raising teens isn t easy, is it? Five reasons for not allowing a boy to have a girlfriend in his bedroom to watch TV: 1. The rule in this family is this: Boyfriends and girlfriends are not allowed to be alone in the house or any room of...

Parenting --Teens: I tryed to get along with my family but i cant, emotional neglect, step dad
emotional neglect, step dad, sister brother: Dear Billy: I am very sorry you do not feel love and you are not where you want to be. It is heartbreaking to just read your letter. As for the foster homes. You might be able to find one however if you are not being physically abused I doubt social...

Parenting --Teens: "tween bee" is destroying my family, smart alec, old enemies
smart alec, old enemies, student athlete: Eli, It sounds like you have created a girl who thinks the world is all about her. Look at the actions you describe in your e-mail. These actions seem completely self-centered. Tantrums happen when others start to encroach into her self-centered world. If...

Parenting --Teens: tween in middle school, young adolescent, school thanks
young adolescent, school thanks, good kid: Hi Paula, There are many reasons why young adolescents (and 11-year-olds are adolescents these days!) don t feel good about themselves. You only need look so far as the media to discover one reason why a girl might not think she measures up. Of course,...

Parenting --Teens: My twin duaghters lack social skills, 18yrs, self confidence
18yrs, self confidence, shyness: Mary, I am of the mind that when a child is shy as you describe to some degree it indicates arrogance. They need to see that the world is not about them. You need to refuse to cater to the shyness or sensitivity when it affects everyone else. The shyness...

Parenting --Teens: Underage Teen online Dating, fantasy relationship, foolish choices
fantasy relationship, foolish choices, legal ramifications: Julie, Your son must be having some relational challenges currently otherwise he wouldn t be entertaining this fantasy relationship. While she may be real it is fantasy because nothing they talk about is real. When he attempts to make this trip he will be...

Parenting --Teens: Unruly 16 yr old, going through puberty, all those years ago
going through puberty, all those years ago, peer pressure: Hi Lee, He certainly would be going through puberty and experiencing peer pressure. Without knowing him though, I can t really answer that. If there is a major change in behaviour you may want to look at potential issues, e.g. drug use. You would notice...

Parenting --Teens: Urgent advice please, happy relationship, e care
happy relationship, e care, traumatic situation: Dear Maureen: Unfortunately life is not often fair. I hear your pain and the betrayal you feel. It is often the sharpest pain when it comes from those we have loved the most. The advice your friends are giving you is the best. The best you can do for...

Parenting --Teens: undisciplined 15 year old, james windell, defiant teenager
james windell, defiant teenager, discipline plan: Hello Allison It sounds like your son has a number of problems at this point and he needs help. Certainly, as parents you and his father need some help in developing a discipline plan that will be effective with him. You didn t mention taking him to a...

Parenting --Teens: "unGROUNDING", james windell, birthday celebration
james windell, birthday celebration, good teens: Hello Eileen, No matter what you do you can not guarantee your child won t do the same thing again. However, your daughter seems like a mature and responsible teenager -- although she may have lapses (like most kids do) at times. Which means that over...

Parenting --Teens: unmotivated son, scholorship, basketball player
scholorship, basketball player, trouble in school: Hello Tomi, There are many people -- both young and older -- who are not highly motivated with a strong drive to succeed. Some of these people develop a focus and motivation later on; some never do. Since your son is 17, I don t think you can do much to...

Parenting --Teens: Violence and defiance of my teenager girl, teenager girl, violent family
teenager girl, violent family, typical description: Sara, It sounds like she may be suffering from PTSD potentially. At a minimum she has been severely hurt over the experience of the past abuse. I would encourage you to bring her to counseling. If she is not willing to go then I would encourage you to go...

Parenting --Teens: violent stepson, james windell, egg shells
james windell, egg shells, getting a divorce: Hello Celines, You didn t say how old this boy is. Nor did you say if you have discussed this with your partner. I don t think divorce is the best answer. You and your partner need to confront this problem by talking to each other to see if you both see...

Parenting --Teens: violent threats from a teenager, violent threats, place mat
violent threats, place mat, play dough: Dear BJ, I am sorry to say this, but it appears to me that perhaps you have been giving an inch or more for many years, or you would not be in this position now with the teens. What I would do, since their response is drastic, is act in a very calm, cold...

Parenting --Teens: violent video games, violent video games, gifted musician
violent video games, gifted musician, free choices: Robin, First, my deepest sentiments for your recent loss. Second, to address some items in your story. Your son s rebuttal about something he is doing in your house isn t of your concern unless it s illegal is simply absurd. He s your son (yes, i...

Parenting --Teens: Way too overprotective or non trusting parents?, girl friends, boys and girls
girl friends, boys and girls, both genders: Hi Tina, It sounds like they really want to protect you. That may be comforting for them, to think they have shielded you from harm. But it may not be so good for you. I would advise that you not let this strictness influence you to do things that are...

Parenting --Teens: Whos right?, second class citizen, full time job
second class citizen, full time job, pet peeve: Hello Jen, You are probably right. Certainly you feel like you re being treated as a second-class citizen in your home. However, your approach is not working. That is, telling your mother she is making mistakes and trying to prove to her that she s not...

Parenting --Teens: At Wits End, smoke pot, dear carl
smoke pot, dear carl, power cables: Dear Carl: Anytime a parent has issues with a teenager about their behavior I caution them to look at their own behavior first. It is very EASY to become very negative about our children when things are going wrong with teens. Mostly because we become very...

Parenting --Teens: Am I Wrong?, marriage counselor, heart of hearts
marriage counselor, heart of hearts, family divorce: Do you mind if I ask where you found this counselor that agreed with your wife? I personally feel a better alternative to a curfew is knowing where my child is at all times. That was the rule my kids had, and believe me, I had a lot more knowledge of...

Parenting --Teens: i want to have a baby, genetic predisposition, child answer
genetic predisposition, child answer, birth parents: Hi, Virginia, I m sure your therapist knew you were sincere, because you are probably not the only case like this he has had. It is becoming more and more common as parents who are drug-addicted are forced to put their children into the foster care system....

Parenting --Teens: whole family spinning outta control, suicide attempts, smoking pot
suicide attempts, smoking pot, kidney disease: Brett, Your focus should be on the two minors in your home. Your 18 yr old is not helping the situation. If she can t get her act together then she needs to be out. If you can t manage your 15 year old then you need to involved the court system. They have...

Parenting --Teens: withdrawn child, volunteer groups, sensitive boy
volunteer groups, sensitive boy, family therapist: Dear Lesley, You probably know that some children are better at making and keeping friends than others. The main tips on this are ALWAYS greeting otherse by name, giving sincere compliments to others at least once a day (sincere quesitons are a form of compliment)...

Parenting --Teens: worried about daughter, moral value, best interest
moral value, best interest, stake: Angela, You are the adult. Your job based on your own experiences, moral, value etc...is to protect your children. They WILL fight you. Despite the fighting it is important that you protect. If this means not letting your daughter hang with this girl then...

Parenting --Teens: What do I do?, child psychologist, clean clothes
child psychologist, clean clothes, aspirations in life: Hello Kari, You didn t say whether the boys live with you full time. I m assuming they do. They sound like very troubled little boys. I don t think any advice I can give you is going to change the situation dramatically or quickly. I would suggest that...

Parenting --Teens: What to do?, james windell, old fashion
james windell, old fashion, single parent: Hello Rachel, If you are getting great results doing what you re doing, then keep doing it. It s not easy being a single parent and it is stressful raising children as a single parent. It s reassuring to know that some parents have confidence in...

Parenting --Teens: Young Adult Son, grown young man, cell phone number
grown young man, cell phone number, energy account: Hi De~ I think most parents want to be as supportive to their children as they can be, it s only natural. However, he is a grown young man and he s out on his own. He s going to have to be held accountable for everything that he s currently doing. Unfortunately...

Parenting --Teens: Young adult problems, james windell, adult problems
james windell, adult problems, curfew time: Hi Sol, No question about it. It is difficult to be the parent of a young adult. The best approach is to have communication with her and try to work out what is reasonable. For example, parents are often concerned when older teens come home very late....

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 1 year old boy tantrums, temper tantrums, breast feed
temper tantrums, breast feed, ear infection: Tantrums in a baby are very difficult to deal with. First I would advise you to consider if there are any changes in your baby s life that have led up to him changing his behavior. Also consider any possible hidden illness- such as a sore throat, ear infection,...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: what a 1 year old should know, social and emotional skills, songs and fingerplays
social and emotional skills, songs and fingerplays, vicki lansky: Dear Mandy Yes she does seem very bright. You really cannot test a child s IQ until they are about 5, since there are not good tests for IQ at early ages. She may, at least in the area of language, be ahead of her peers. Keep following her lead and encouraging...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: My 1 year old, baby bottle tooth decay, bottle tooth decay
baby bottle tooth decay, bottle tooth decay, dry cereal: Dear Shana, You are a good mom, because you are trying to find out how to do parenting in the best ways. Parents who do not raise their toddlers well, usually don t ask for advice. Most babies and toddlers don t want to give up the bottle at night time...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: My 1 yr old boy dislikes me, bedtime routines, popularity contest
bedtime routines, popularity contest, body massage: Dear Bonnie: Now that you have explained it this way it is a different set of issues. The issue is with the grandma. Really, why would someone the grandma s age say such a thing. I think your feelings were more hurt because you were giving her a little...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 10 month old behavior, james windell, old baby girl
james windell, old baby girl, month old baby: Hello Renan, Could you give me some more details? When does she shake her head? Is it when you want her to do something she doesn t want to do? When you ask her a question? When you feed babies food they don t like (as you probably already have discovered)...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 10 month old having episodes, james windell, temper tantrums
james windell, temper tantrums, signals of distress: Hi Rachel, If he hasn t been seen by the pediatrician in several months, it s always reassuring to make sure there are no physical problems. However, my guess would be that this is not a physical problem. It could be related to separation. Is there any...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 10-month-old's napping and feeding issues, consistancy, feeding time
consistancy, feeding time, naps: Hi Wendy~ This could be as simple as moving up her feeding time, before she falls asleep. And if she does fall asleep w/o eating first, it s okay. She s not going to starve to death. She ll let you know when she s hungry. So the answer to your question...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 10 month old nursing thru night, old baby girl, first time mom
old baby girl, first time mom, month old baby: Thank you for your question- and congratulations on your first baby! I also commend you on exclusively breastfeeding for such an extended time. You have given your baby such a wonderful start! I am still nursing my almost 13 month old who is also not a...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 10 month old will not sleep very long, ferber method, soft music
ferber method, soft music, white noise: Hi Malissa~ The CIO works very well, when it s used properly and you have to be very consistant too. There is another method called the Ferber method, which also works very well, when used correctly. The Ferber method is where you put the child down to...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 Month Old, speech skills, learning disability
speech skills, learning disability, patty cake: Hi Neal. This is perfectly normal, especially considering that she is only 11 months old. Every child develops at his or her own pace, just give her some time. My oldest is 3 and is just starting to pronounce words a little better (only I can understand her...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 Month Old, learning disablity, speech skills
learning disablity, speech skills, speech problem: Hi. Well babies do things on their own time. Like she may not utter one word today but wake you up in the morning talking away. Its not that your doing anything wrong and its not that she has a learning disablity. Does she say momma or dada yet? The same...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 month old, developmental milestone, speech skills
developmental milestone, speech skills, learning disability: Hi Neal, Take your daughter to get a hearing/vision test. This is the only thing that could be a road block for her because it is very normal for her not to be talking yet. Maybe she is getting over stimulated with even 2 minutes of talking to her. She...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 month old, speech skills, learning disability
speech skills, learning disability, patty cake: Hi Neal, I presume you have regular checkups with her doctor. Does he suggest you have her tested for hearing problems or other health related issues? Are the noises like Ma or Da? Does she have a name for each of you? Does she seem to hear and understand...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 month old, speech skills, learning disability
speech skills, learning disability, patty cake: Some children are just slow in speaking I would not be concerned about her speech at this age. Continue to speak and play games with her and try to have her play with children her own age that seems to encourage speech. At about 18 months she will probably...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 11 month old, speech skills, learning disability
speech skills, learning disability, patty cake: HI! I have had three 11 month olds and I currently have an almost 9 month old and your daughter sounds perfectly normal. She sounds like any other 11 month old except for the walking:) At her age, patty cake IS just clapping, and it s great that you read...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 12 month old daughter doesn't like her sister, james windell, loving behavior
james windell, loving behavior, little kiss: Hello Renee, I would assume that there is a certain amount of jealousy operating here. Anyway, let s assume this to be true. A child of 13 months is far too young to be able to successfully suppress her jealousy or anger, or to have insight into her behavior....

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: My 12 month old's sleeping habits, ocean wonders aquarium, sleep patterns
ocean wonders aquarium, sleep patterns, sleeping habits: Heather- thanks for the question. It sounds like she s just had a change in sleep pattern. Babies and toddlers go through that sometimes. I would think that with the introduction of milk and more solid foods she s just hit a small stage. You say she...

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers: 13 MONTH OLD BEHAVIOR, gentle hands, daycare
gentle hands, daycare, boys ages: hi this is sort of normal behavior for a 13 month old but the fact that it started at such a early age at only 10 months is a little bit different as most say that this sort of thing doesn t start mostly until the age of 1 and over. However in saying that...