About Experts Sitemap - Group 40 - Page 8 2015-01-20

Parenting --Teens: 13 1/2 year old daughter, theropist, loving mom
theropist, loving mom, mom and dad: Hello Joanne, I can appreciate the position you are in as a mother. You love your daughter and want the best for her, but you are also trying to be both mom and dad. However, your daughter does not act like she appreciates what you are doing for her or...

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old flunked out of college, full time job, lack of motivation
full time job, lack of motivation, brain teaser: Hello Caroline, I m sorry to hear about the lack of motivation in your son and the distress this causes you. Since he has been dropped by the college, then he must do something. That means go to work. I would suggest that you tell him he must find a...

Parenting --Teens: Difficulty with older teen., full time job, household chores
full time job, household chores, courteous behavior: Hello Lucy, Sorry for the delay in responding. There is often guilt for some parents when they ask an older child to leave -- along with anxiety. Typically, parents ask a teen to leave because they are not functioning well. So there are risks. That is,...

Parenting --Teens: Overprotective Mother, nagging mother, verbal abuse
nagging mother, verbal abuse, potential runaway: Hi Jackiee, Sometimes mothers have a hard time understanding that their 16 year olds are not 10 any more. I can tell you that being a parent many times over, that my 32 year old is still my kid, though I understand that I can only be his parent when he...

Parenting --Teens: Raising money smart teens, james windell, parenting magazine
james windell, parenting magazine, smart teens: Hello Arundhati, Here are some suggestions for helping children to grow up money smart: 1. Give them responsibility for money, saving, and purchasing at a young age. For instance, they could get an allowance, but they would have to use the allowance for...

Parenting --Teens: teen being disrespectful to me and his sister, psychological trauma, father of my children
psychological trauma, father of my children, eldest daughter: Hello Mon, Since you can see some of the consequences of being verbally abused, you understand how devastating and harmful this can be. This is ongoing, psychological trauma for her and it will affect how she feels about herself and how she will relate to...

Parenting --Teens: My teenage son doesn't want to spend time with me, angry person, domestic violence
angry person, domestic violence, teenage son: Hello Frank, Children usually get caught in the crossfire in situations like this. I don t know what he has been exposed to in terms of the arguing and fighting between you and his mother, but he obviously knows about it and has perhaps heard versions from...

Parenting --Teens: Teens + Internet, monitoring software, many things
monitoring software, many things, laptops: Sally, Don t ever be afraid to do the right and prudent things with your kids. I think putting monitoring software is fine. If more parents did it, kids would probably not see as many things a they do on the internet. It s your job to guide the kids and be...

Parenting --Teens: Young Adult Immaturity, shy personality, work ethic
shy personality, work ethic, playing video games: I apologize for my delay in responding to your questions. I have been having a hard time deciding on what to advise. The problem with this format is that I do not have the ability to ask you to elaborate on your description of Josh s actions. Here are my suggestions...

Parenting --Teens: Cell phone privacy and reading daughters texts
Arlene, You may need to do things radically different in the relationship with your daughter. What you have written above let s me know that you and your daughter don t have a very close relationship. I think she should know that you are ALWAYS going to...

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old son
Frankly speaking most of the problems faced by your son may be related to the past divorce between you and your ex-wife. But regardless of the reasons why he needs to start taking responsibility for his own actions and that cannot be done until he is forced...

Parenting --Teens: 19 yr old son feels stressed
Hello Michelle, This woman s behavior may not be criminal, but I m sure it is annoying to your son. You need to continue to be supportive to your son. But, help him develop some strategies for dealing with his own feelings as well as with her. For instance,...

Parenting --Teens: Adult son still so childish, Young adult son, partying
Young adult son, partying, helicopter mom: Dear Janice, Breathe Mom! You did not go so very wrong. It sure sound like you did a great job raising your son. What he does with that after he leaves the nest is his responsibility. It is time for a reality check. He is on his own, he is working, he made...

Parenting --Teens: Christmas...should i get son gifts?, aggressive teen
aggressive teen: Dear Traci, As a parent, we have to model good behavior and can not allow ourselves to be dragged down to the level of our kid by playing tit for tat. You did not say how old he is. I am assuming he is 16+. For him to follow your directions, he needs to...

Parenting --Teens: Dont know what to do anymore...
Okay, we can do this. I am going to give you an abbreviated course here online. Once you feel you have the concept down from the first week and implement it. I will post the second week and so on. I am doing it this way because there is no quick fix to your...

Parenting --Teens: Son is making life hard...
Dear Traci! I apologize for the delay. I was very busy in December with defending my dissertation and all of the paperwork that goes along with graduation and teaching...and then there was Christmas. I am just getting caught up again. You can view my...

Parenting --Teens: My sons hatred towards me...
Hi Traci, It sounds like you a lot that is right in terms of raising your son. And it s great that at least at times you share a close relationship. I would guess that part of the problem is his basic closeness to you. I know we all want our teens to...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Son issues, Irresponsibility
Irresponsibility: Michael, I apologize for the late response. I thought I had replied and just notice that I hadn t. I hope you have bought and read Parent as Coach by now. I think it is totally reasonable for you to limit his access to your house until he shows...

Parenting --Teens: Misbehavior
Hello Ally, Do you really want to become a punisher? I know you would like all of the students to listen to you, obey your directions, and be respectful all of the time. However, when you are working with adolescents, that is very unrealistic. One of...

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old son won't come home, anger issues, step-families
anger issues, step-families, alcohol: Dear Leigh, It is not safe for anyone to stay with a man who has anger issues. Your son did the right thing for himself, but he is probably still concerned for you and his sister. Changes must be made, and your husband must commit to coming to grips with...

Parenting --Teens: 14 yo son has me in tears every day, substance abuse counselor, smoking weed
substance abuse counselor, smoking weed, smoke weed: Hello Traci, Your son has very serious behavioral problems that have a tremendous impact on your life. It s bad enough to have a substance abuse problem, but when you add everything else and then the stealing from home, it becomes a problem that suggests...

Parenting --Teens: 22 yr old daughter, poor choices, temporary job
poor choices, temporary job, finding a job: Terri, I agree that choices have consequences. She is fully experiencing them. If you do choose to help her, you need to go into it with some up front agreements with her that you will stick with. If she is not willing to do anything different then you need...

Parenting --Teens: Do you think this is fair?, intelligence level, defensive response
Parenting --Teens: Do you think this is fair?, intelligence level, defensive response, questioner

Parenting --Teens: Punishment for skipping school?, compulsory school attendance, florida state statute
compulsory school attendance, florida state statute, public school principal: Derrall, I think if you have your guardian s permission, you should be okay, unless the following (below) applies to you. At 19, you should have the wisdom to make this decision with the approval of your guardian. My condolences for your loss and good...

Parenting --Teens: Teenage boy who knows it all, good kid, teenage boy
good kid, teenage boy, encouragement: Youth and their ability to rule their world through their words....this has frustrated parents throughout the centuries. At this stage of his development, he is testing you and his teachers to find out where his boundaries are. Much like when he was two and...

Parenting --Teens: Do you think this is fair?, Stereotyped, bigoted questions
Stereotyped, bigoted questions, opinionated: Oh. ONE European woman told you so? If I were you, I d get a second opinion. What kind of a lame idea is it that 90% of American women cannot be trusted. Excuse me. I m an American woman. I and 89% of my female friends can be trusted to do what is right,...

Parenting --Teens: Troubled Teen, pupil support, friends dad
pupil support, friends dad, extreme behavior: Hello Sandra, I am so sorry to hear how difficult life is with your daughter. She has a serious behavior disorder that leads her to make life miserable for you, her siblings, and even herself. However, you should not have to put up with her behavior. And...

Parenting --Teens: 19yr old not motivated to supply his own needs, high school diploma, painful transition
high school diploma, painful transition, carryovers: Hello Donna, It is very frustrating trying to get messages across to a child who just does not focus very well. It might help if you put things in graphic terms. That is, if you are talking to him, he may tune you out. But if you created colorful charts...

Parenting --Teens: Extremely Moody and Condescending 18 Year Old Daughter, college, ADHD
college, ADHD, girl: Dear Frustrated Mom- Boy, do I hear you! I come at this from a different perspective. I had ADHD as a child, but it was not diagnosed, because: A) Nobody really knew what it was or what to do about it and B) They thought only boys had focus...

Parenting --Teens: help our daughter, tutition, house chores
tutition, house chores, proportions: Sarina, As a mom of 31 (total) daughters, I can feel you pain. Amazing how biological children can be so different when coming from the same set of genes. I often thought my biological children presented as much more challenging adults than the foster children...

Parenting --Teens: Sibbling Hatred, james windell, younger siblings
james windell, younger siblings, sister 7: Hello Chi, This is annoying for you when you have sibling fighting and conflict. However, given that your son is doing well in most other parts of his life, it seems unlikely that this is indicative of a behavior problem. Also, this started as he began adolescence,...

Parenting --Teens: son is 17 will not obey rules stays out late and sells his stuff for money instead of working part-time, james windell, gas money
james windell, gas money, last two months: Hello Gerri, I m sorry to hear that your son is out of control. One option you have is to kick him out. But you can also try to gain some measure of control by simply cutting off all rewards, hand outs, privileges, and money. At the same time, you can...

Parenting --Teens: Son is failing...how can i help, teen, teen drug addiction
teen, teen drug addiction, teen substance abuse: Hi Traci, It sounds like you are doing, or have done, most of the things I would initially suggest to a parent confronted with a child with these problems, so let s figure out the next steps. You are right that the 14 year old brain is looking at...

Parenting --Teens: I can't cope with my son, out of control teen, deperate mother
out of control teen, deperate mother: Before I start with the answer I want to mention I ve been to your city, I loved it, it was forty years ago but I have very found memories, I hope the castle is still there? I saw the queen ride past back in 77.... I read your question a few times to make...

Parenting --Teens: teenage son with anxiety, mental health professional, insight therapy
mental health professional, insight therapy, high anxiety: Hello Jane, There is probably little you can do at his age to convince him that seeing a psychologist is okay. It would be best to go with him and to talk to the psychologist (at least for part of the session) with your son in the room. That way you can...

Parenting --Teens: Adult son refuses to cut hair, band business, adult son
band business, adult son, old photos: Hello Savitri, It is distressing for us parents when our children do not confirm to our standards and values. In this situation with your son and his hair, his decision to wear long hair perhaps has much to do with being in a band. He probably believes...

Parenting --Teens: Daughters unusual interest, true crime novels, heavy metal music
true crime novels, heavy metal music, morbid fascination: Hello Melinda, It s easy to empathize with everyone in this situation. I certainly understand your husband s point of view, since I m the father of a daughter. And I can appreciate the interest and the compassion your daughter has. Having worked with adolescents...

Parenting --Teens: My girlfriends son and his girlfriend, james windell, contributing to the delinquency of a minor
james windell, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, sexual behaviors: Hello Mike, I m not an expert on the laws in your state, but typically parents (or other adults# are not held to be legally responsible for the sexual behaviors of their children. However, if you contribute to delinquency, that s a different matter. If you...

Parenting --Teens: mores, social occasions, ghost stories
social occasions, ghost stories, adult children: You are correct in every instance with the exception of the sleep overs, this trend seems to be regional where some areas are fine with it and others are less accepting of this trend. However the innocents of these sleepovers is most likely not as innocent...

Parenting --Teens: Re: Ask, parent son verbal battles, disrespect
parent son verbal battles, disrespect, young adult son: Dear Anthony, As the single parent of, over the years, 13 foster teens and an adopted son, I certainly understand and applaud your commitment to your kids and to the sacrifices you have made along the way. It sounds like you did a good job. Both of your...

Parenting --Teens: Re: Need Help Please, relationship difficulty, daily basis
relationship difficulty, daily basis, abusive behavior: Anthony, without knowing you are your son my first thoughts were about drug use. Irrational behavior often starts when one is using illegal substance. That might be something to consider. I also think that no matter how amicable your divorce was there are...

Parenting --Teens: Re: Son, relationship difficulty, daily basis
relationship difficulty, daily basis, abusive behavior: Anthony, I can hear the hurt through your email. As parents we want the very best for our children, no matter what age they are. This is a little out of my area of experience, but maybe I can give you some general advice. I would normally tell parents...

Parenting --Teens: Young Adult Son, relationship difficulty, daily basis
relationship difficulty, daily basis, adult son: Hi Anthony, thx for your question. It sounds like you have done everything you can to help and support your children to become highly functioning adults. It appears to be a mystery why your son is angry. Maybe he doesn t really know why or maybe he doesn t...

Parenting --Teens: Found pic of sons friend smoking weed, substance abuse counselor, smoking weed
substance abuse counselor, smoking weed, parenting classes: Traci, My apologies for not responding sooner. I have been ill this past week. In answer to your question, yes, I believe you should share the pictures. I also disagree with your thought that you are not able to stop your son s desire to smoke. As long...

Parenting --Teens: My 12 yr old daughter is disrespectful and out of control! Please help!!, disruptive behavior, saying things
disruptive behavior, saying things, telling the truth: Hello Kim, You sound like good parents who raised your three oldest children in a very competent way. However, your youngest child has always had a more challenging personality and set of temperamental traits. I think there are two likely reasons why...

Parenting --Teens: my 15 year old brother drives my family crazy please Help !, younger siblings, smoking cigarettes
younger siblings, smoking cigarettes, fiends: Hello Sarah, It is wonderful that you are concerned both about your parents and your brother. I don t know that there is much to do to help your brother directly as an older sister. But perhaps just continuing to be kind to him and to sometimes include...

Parenting --Teens: 15 year old son, service, volunteering
service, volunteering, boredom: Oh, thank the merciful heavens. I ve been looking with trepidation in my inbox every day for your your response. OK. There is probably a very simple reason for his behavior. Boredom. Very bright children need lots of stimulation, or they begin to...

Parenting --Teens: daughter/brother stuff, white satin panties, professional counsellor
white satin panties, professional counsellor, huge erection: Hi Mick, thx for your question. A masturbating 15 year old boy is a normal occurrence. One masturbating with his sister s underwear, is cause for some concern but I wouldn t immediately jump to conclusions. There are a number of factors that I wonder about...

Parenting --Teens: Legal Swim Wear, parent daughter verbal battles, dress codes
parent daughter verbal battles, dress codes: Dear Kenneth, I think you have already answered the question. Legally this would be the kind of thing that is regulated by local laws, so checking with the local law enforcement folks is probably the best way to get a definitive ruling on the subject....

Parenting --Teens: my sixteen year old daughter, many different things, immaturity
many different things, immaturity, dr david: Deanna, What a great opportunity to show your kid that life really isn t boring. If a child says that, I often think it means they need to be given more direction. They need to perceive that there are so many different things they can do that there is no...

Parenting --Teens: 12 yr old daughter is being way to open with boy friends, Video chats, texting
Video chats, texting, monitoring teens social media: Dear Ray, Just to clarify, I am assuming that she knows that you are monitoring her video chats. If not, you need to establish with her that, at her age, you will be doing that. I prefaced my remarks with this because I am about to suggest that you ought...

Parenting --Teens: My brother is out of control and so is my mum, family counselor, loving person
family counselor, loving person, devoting your time: Hello Isabelle, You sound like a very kind and loving person who cares deeply about your family. It does seem like they are in turmoil right now because of the behavior of your brother. There may be some limits on what you can do before you leave for...

Parenting --Teens: my gay 13yo son going to sleep away camp for the first time this Monday., Gay teen, parenting gay teen
Gay teen, parenting gay teen, summer camp: Dear Avrom, You know your son better than I can after reading your description, so here are my thoughts based on working with gay teens including foster sons. I wouldn t want to segregate him from the other campers. A question in my mind is from your...

Parenting --Teens: Kids are exhausting, possession of marijuana, productive adults
possession of marijuana, productive adults, clothes shopping: Hello Lisa, I m so sorry that parenting is having such an affect on you. Certainly, many parents can empathize with you because so often our children do not live up to our expectations. I think one of the hardest things about parenting is to adjust our expectations...

Parenting --Teens: My mother and I, bisexual teen, mother issues
bisexual teen, mother issues, lack of parental love: Hello, Alora- Thanks for writing, and sharing details. This is always helpful in weighing my response. First, every mother, every person, is different. If you were my daughter, yes, I would want the full truth because that s just who I am and how I...

Parenting --Teens: Sons drug use, teen drug use, parenting teens
teen drug use, parenting teens: Dear Traci, Sure, there might have been other ways to handle the situation when you first found about his drug usage, but you did what you thought was appropriate and that is that. Any second guessing or blame at this point is just an exercise in drama...

Parenting --Teens: 10 year old boy aggressive, informal games, discipline issues
informal games, discipline issues, violent video games: Hello Leslie, Thank you for the complete and undoubtedly accurate description of the problem. I agree that for many boys about this age, it is difficult to remember the right thing to do in the heat of the moment. However, having worked with boys in this...

Parenting --Teens: my 12 year old daughter, spirit of a child, raging hormones
spirit of a child, raging hormones, negative behaviors: I can hear the frustration clearly through your email. I know these pre-teen and teen years can be the most trying and confusing to both the child and the family as a whole. What may be going on with your daughter could be a result of the frontal lobe of...

Parenting --Teens: 15 year old son, son relationships, good relationship
son relationships, good relationship, parent resources: Dear Cynthia, If the father figure is not of assistance then all the stuff I suggested is what you need to do. You will have to engineer some activities where the two of you can hang out for an extended block of time. Also, at a month, I would give...

Parenting --Teens: daughter and thongs, masturbation, prevention
masturbation, prevention, panty danger: Hello, Megan, The time for talking was at least three years ago, during the discussion you had with her about menstruation. Now, there may be a bit of a fight, as she has probably been trying to provoke you for months. Teaching her a few house rules...

Parenting --Teens: My hands are tied; what can I do?, loser thinking, teen drug usage
loser thinking, teen drug usage, under achiever: Dear Susan, I am going to answer your questions in two parts, the first will give my insights about your grandson and the second part will be about you and your questions about what to do. From what you write about your grandson, he is what is normally...

Parenting --Teens: moody 11 yr old daughter, sweet little angel, middle kid
sweet little angel, middle kid, proud mom: Explain to him that you cannot allow him to sabotage your patenting. Tell him his daughter does not have to do anything an adult says if it is IMMORAL. That means, immoral stuff, NOT common discipline, which this daughter sorely requires. Share this letter...

Parenting --Teens: Parenting, violence and crime, mainstream music
violence and crime, mainstream music, teenage kids: Gordon, The answer is going to depend on what you as a parent find acceptable. If you consider screamo music fine then if your kids listens you probably won t stop them. The same for rap, jazz etc... I m saying I wouldn t focus on the music I would focus...

Parenting --Teens: My son and cigs, high school freshman, addictive personality
high school freshman, addictive personality, ash trays: Hello Traci, I know you want to find an answer, but sometimes there are no good answers that are going to fix things. You keep trying though, and keep looking for the strengths your son has. Despite his problems and shortcomings, hopefully he can find...

Parenting --Teens: My teen has no social life or ambition, under achieving, isolating
under achieving, isolating, low self-confidence: Hi Nikita, I just finished answering a question from Susan about her 15 year old grandson who is also not achieving to his potential . Please look it up and read the part where I describe under-achievers and why the are behaving that way. I will share...

Parenting --Teens: Why would an 18-year-old girl follow her father
If you want an excuse to act like and emulate your parents you have it. Their past gives you permission to make the same mistakes as they did. They have little to say about telling you no when they did what you think you should be able to do. The difference...

Parenting --Teens: How would a child react‎ if she sees a
No. I gather you have some better than average intelligence and with that understanding you know what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, what is best for you and your life and what is not. Despite what your mother or grandmother may...

Parenting --Teens: child support, welfare, child support
welfare, child support, responsibility: Dear Catherine, Is your boyfriend the father of your child? If so, the two of you are his/her biological parents. This means you are responsible for loving, sheltering, rearing, teaching right from wrong, caring for, feeding, diapering, exercising and educating...

Parenting --Teens: Effort not perfection, how to get her to understand, open book tests, rollar coaster
open book tests, rollar coaster, 11yr: Chris, Thank for the question. I appreciate the detail as well, it really helps in developing the correct response. There are a couple things you can do to help the situation but I need to be up front about the situation, your daughter may not want to...

Parenting --Teens: Help!, Generation Y, drug selling charges
Generation Y, drug selling charges, blame: Hi, Lisa- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html This will explain most of it. I m sorry. He thinks he s a special snowflake, and he isn t...it s a crying shame, but that s the way life is now. I know you want...

Parenting --Teens: Would an 18-year-old girl complain?
As I said with the last question, you have a choice to forgive and move on or fight back at the injustices done to you when you were younger. My advice is to move on. you cant get the past back and you cannot repair the damage done but you can begine to...

Parenting --Teens: 20 year old emotional distant daughter
Dear Ariel, Before I even get into the particulars in answer to your questions, I want to tell you about a great book that will really assist to change the conversation between you and your daughter. It is called Parent As Coach by Diana Sterling. Even...

Parenting --Teens: adult daughter emotionally distant since childhood
Ariel, I would imagine part of the way she copes is to avoid emotion. This is probably what the drugs were used for at some point. She found help to stop using, but in the process she learned to protect herself to not experience the emotions. This may be...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter charged with possession
Hi Sheena, Okay, we can all agree that you don t want the same problem you had with your other daughter. But, a response that is based on emotion and fear is not necessarily going to succeed. Your daughter is not a drug user and is not likely to get involved...

Parenting --Teens: Disciplining daughter who was arrested
That well may be a tragic story of a young girl being in the wrong place at the wrong time but had she done as she was instructed and taken a cab and gone home nothing would have happened. having said that the fact that she called you for a ride is good reason...

Parenting --Teens: Emotionally distant daughter, drugs and family
drugs and family: I really hate to say this but there is really nothing you can do at this point. The positive steps she s taking are good but only time will tell if she allows those steps to help her improve her personal outlook on life and toward you. It is unfortunate...

Parenting --Teens: Emotionally distant daughter after many years, clean and sober, drug abuse
clean and sober, drug abuse, emotional distance: Dear Ariel- I am so sorry. This is the path of the drug abuser, and it happens over and over and over again. I wish your letter could be read to all kids at about age eight or nine. At that age I remember my mother showing me photos from Life Magazine of...

Parenting --Teens: emotionally troubled daughter
Hello Ariel, It has certainly been a rough 10 years for you trying to help your daughter. The good news now is that she appears to be clean and she s seeing a therapist. The bad news is that she doesn t seem to show any emotion and is distant. Perhaps...

Parenting --Teens: Real Sword for a 13 year old's birthday?, responsibility
responsibility: Dear Sukey, I think you were on the right track in putting the horse before the cart. The traditional sword in most martial arts isn t usually taught until after the basic art is mastered. My martial art is Thai Chi and I know sword forms are never taught...

Parenting --Teens: Teen Daughter
Then I think your husband s punishment sounds harsh, but I would place restrictions on her until you learn more about her friends and activities. Set some good boundaries for her in regard to who she can be alone in a car with. Open your home to her and...

Parenting --Teens: Teen daughter arrested
I m glad to hear that about you; it will be much better for her. Her father is another story...but as she accepted the plea bargain so rapidly, he may be right. Perhaps it is best to pay up and move on. Your daughter must know there is to be no more leniency...

Parenting --Teens: Teen daughter trouble with law
Sheena, I m sorry to hear you are going through struggles right now, especially ones that can and may impact the rest of your daughter s life. I m not sure of the laws in Canada, but I know here in Alabama being in the car with a controlled substance lands...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a mother?
there seems to be more to the story but a quick answer would be either a lack of confidence by the mother or a deep seeded desire not to be responsible for a child that she had with the man she divorced. this is really a very difficult question to answer,...

Parenting --Teens: What does this tell you about a mother?
I sense some very strong emmotions from you regarding both your parents and the unsettled seperation it has caused. My advise is to start your own life, love your parents as much as you can and start to build good relationships for yourself so you will not...

Parenting --Teens: troubled daughter
Ariel, I can hear your heart hurting and the level of concern and stress through this message. I know you have been on quite a journey with your daughter over the past 10 years and your only hope is to see her be a happy and productive adult. Either...

Parenting --Teens: Help for my teenagers fighting, teens, fighting
teens, fighting, violence: Dear Amber, Yes, this can change. Read my answer here! http://mkaykeller.blogspot.com/2014/11/my-teen-boys-are-physically-fighting.html Thank you for posting. Dr. Mary Kay Keller http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/mary-kay-keller-phd.html...

Parenting --Teens: 17 yr old discrespectful step son
Thank you for the additional information. Doing whats right for your oldest may not be whats right for the rest of the family.realistically you may have to choose. My suggestion is as follows: 1. Establish rules that all the family must follow, including...

Parenting --Teens: My 35 yr. old daughter, Adult children
Adult children: Dear Cathy, It is not too clear from your brief description exactly what happened between your boyfriend and your daughter. I am assuming that he tied her up but there was no sex. You also did not state if you knew at the time that he was doing this and...

Parenting --Teens: lazy unmotivated daughter
Karen, At some point you need to take your emotion out of it. If you bring in consequences AND yelling and screaming that is going to keep things going in a bad way. If you bring consequences only and go on with your day peacefulness will begin. It s a...

Parenting --Teens: Hello!, Coming out to parents, gay teens
Coming out to parents, gay teens: Hi Nate, Oh yeah, so am I. Here is what I would do as far as telling your mother. There are two separate issues here and I think it would be a mistake to lump them together. The first issue is how do I come out to my mother? and the second is do I tell...

Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old body image issues
Monica, You re older daughters may have unresolved issues so they can t deal with it. I would suggest that you get your daughter to a therapist that specializes in body image issues. This would be important because they could be even more helpful than your...

Parenting --Teens: granddaughter, 16 year old stealing from family, stealing
16 year old stealing from family, stealing, teen stealing: Dear Jim, I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. I just went through a total failure of my computer with both of the hard drives dying at the same time. Ugg! I can relate to your problem because it is something that I went through as a teen...

Parenting --Teens: I have lost my son not to death but from our life .
Melinda, I can hear the heartache in your email. I am so sorry you are going through this. Being a mom never stops. The worries and love are forever ours to deal with when it comes to our children. It sounds like you have already had an incredible life...

Parenting --Teens: My brother is out of control
Hello Sara, Obviously you love your family and want to help your mother and brother reduce some of their conflicts and stress. You are to be commended for wanting to help. You didn t mention your age, but I assume you are at least a few years older than...

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old boy, sex, adolescent sex
sex, adolescent sex, inappropriate sex: Hi Mom, Your son is at about that age when boys begin to become aware that their equipment has other purposes than just for urinating. If you or your male partner, if you have one, have not had a conversation with him about the abc s of sex and what...

Parenting --Teens: 15 yr old, wayward, teen pot-smoking
wayward, teen pot-smoking, alcohol: Hi, Conni- This problem is more common than you might think. Often when older siblings excel, the youngest soon realizes he will never be able to compete or do as well. Instead of finding a different positive direction, like sports, music, auto mechanics,...

Parenting --Teens: ALL ALONE, separation from parents, family ties
separation from parents, family ties, teens learning to care for themselves: Dear Cameron, Are you kidding me? I can count on one hand the number of children in their teen years who actually WANT to go places with their parents. Most people ages 13-19 would almost always rather be alone or with their friends than with their parents....

Parenting --Teens: Tween Girl
Hello Jason, I agree it is a phase and it doesn t necessarily portend anything more serious. More likely that depends on how you are you are going to handle this phase. I would also add thst you didn t make any mistakes when she was a toddler. Many teens...

Parenting --Teens: 6yr old showing penis on bus
Hello J Marie, I know it is distressing to parents and grandparents when children do such things as expose themselves in public. But, while distressing, it is usually not all that serious -- although everyone reacts as if it were very serious. But how...

Parenting --Teens: 7yr old nude photos
Julie, Yes of course this is something you report. You should immediately go to the teacher and inform them this is happening. There also seems to be a huge lack of supervision in the school. If the girls have created a buddy system this seems dangerous....

Parenting --Teens: son too young to have fun?, childhood, early teen sex
childhood, early teen sex, right and wrong: Hello, Steve- I am shocked. Your wife is your partner. You keep nothing from her--ever. That said, yes. Thirteen is FAR too young for these behaviors, and you should have shut it down the very first time you saw it happen. Now you have a worse difficulty,...

Parenting --Teens: teen lying, sneaking around, no remorse
S, I can hear the concern and frustration in you email. As I explain to many parents while you may not be able to control your teenager, as long as you provide food, shelter, money, transportation, etc., you can control their environment. It will be your...

Parenting --Teens: Tutoring dilema!
Hello Callie, I certainly sympathize with your position, but, of course, I m sure your husband has good intentions and wants your son to succeed in school. However, his way of going about this is to create greater defiance in your son. I think you are...

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old son
Brian, Thank you for your follow up questions. I appreciate that. When I answer parents questions I usually have to make many assumptions about what is going on because I am operating off of partial descriptions of what is going on in the family. It is...

Parenting --Teens: 21 yr old daughter, attitude 2, breaking my heart
attitude 2, breaking my heart, married man: Its very hard to see your own kid make mistakes over and over again. You can nag her but she probably will have you arrested for harrassment again. Maybe you can talk to the 41 yr old man she is living with. If this guy cares, he can talk to her. At...

Parenting --Teens: 24 year old can't make ends met, james windell, enough money
james windell, enough money, grandchildren: Hello Shawn, I know you don t want the grandchildren to suffer. But when people bail him out, he is not making the changes in his life that are necessary to make an adequate living. You could tell him you re not going to loan him any more money until...

Parenting --Teens: 4 yr old withh severe aggression, aggression problems, conspicuous place
aggression problems, conspicuous place, four year olds: Hello Anne-marie, I don t know where you re going wrong, but when the misbehavor is only happening in one particular setting then I think you have to consider that he has the ability to control himself. If he is only acting in an aggressive way with you,...

Parenting --Teens: 5 year old boy unaccatpable behaviour, sexual pleasure, girl on top
sexual pleasure, girl on top, stern voice: Sorry, Carole, but he needs intervention with a professional as soon as possible. A psychiatrist would be your best and fasted course for improvement. Trying to take the cheap route will only end up costing you more money, and him a lot more distress as he...

Parenting --Teens: 5 year old boy - sexual curiosity?, sexual curiosity, horrible monster
sexual curiosity, horrible monster, sexual act: Hello Terry, I m going to assume a few things. First, I assume your child has not been sexually or physically abused. Second, I assume your child is not a highly aggressive or uncaring or unfeeling child. Third, he has not been exposed to highly sexualized...

Parenting --Teens: My 5 year old daughter & sexuality, friend molly, new neighborhood
friend molly, new neighborhood, culdesac: Hello Jessica, Lots of young children engage in this kind of bodily exploration and interest in the genitals of each other. Generally, it is harmless when children are about the same age and they go on to other kinds of play. The only harm in this case...

Parenting --Teens: 6 Year old Lying, vivid imagination, partial responsibility
vivid imagination, partial responsibility, accusation: I don t normally work with 6 year olds, yet I will attempt to answer. First off this is a great reason why you should focus your efforts on raising your child and not be dating. While that may sound harsh, I beleive a child who has been through a divorce doesn...

Parenting --Teens: 6 year old son, james windell, school psychologist
james windell, school psychologist, classmates: Hello Mel, You say you had your son tested for ADHD, who tested him? Was it a school psychologist or a private psychologist? And if he was tested, what else did you learn about your son in terms of his strengths, weaknesses and his personality? These are...

Parenting --Teens: 6 yr old daughter?, play therapy, step mother
play therapy, step mother, listening skills: Hi Nelly, without working with her myself, and getting alot more info, it would be really difficult to say what is going on for her. What I can say is that she is trying to send you a message. It sounds like you have done your best to try and figure out...

Parenting --Teens: 7 yo Son, temper tantrums, mcdonnalds
temper tantrums, mcdonnalds, coping with stress: Hello Janet, You have probably heard many times how 5 or 6 years olds suddenly go back to thumb sucking or bed wetting when a new baby comes along? It s called regressing, acting like a child much younger, as a means of coping with stress. You may also...

Parenting --Teens: My 7 yr old has troubles controlling his anger, angry child, violent acts
angry child, violent acts, single mom: Hello Heather, You ve given me a little bit of information about your son, but I need more in order to give you some suggestions. First of all, I don t know that he s angry. A few incidents spread over several years is not proof that he s an angry child....

Parenting --Teens: 8 year old daughter's emotional rollercoaster, james windell, slam doors
james windell, slam doors, pubertal changes: Hello Misha, Many experts on adolescence believe pubertal changes begin about age 10. This, in effect, means it could be somewhat earlier for some and later for others. However, hormones aside, it is not uncommon for seven and eight year olds to be moody...

Parenting --Teens: 8 year old with questions, silly excuses, sex etc
silly excuses, sex etc, sex issues: Hi Amy~ It s totally normal for your son to be curious about his body and sex. About the ages of 8,9-11,children start noticing changes or hearing about stuff (such as sex,etc) from tv,peers,video games. That s great that he s feeling comfortable enough...

Parenting --Teens: 8 year old steels, james windell, time occurrence
james windell, time occurrence, gasstation: Hello Monika, I agree with your handling of it. Taking him back to the station, asking him to apologize and make restitution I think generally works well. This will probably be a one-time occurrence, so there s probably no need to do anything beyond this...

Parenting --Teens: My 8 yr old daughter is lying and stealing, chap stick, lunchmeat
chap stick, lunchmeat, single mom: Hello Trina, Stealing and lying present problems that frustrate parents. Often parents want their children to acknowledge their misbehavior and act guilty. When that doesn t happen, you get worried. However, when you know she has stolen, don t press her...

Parenting --Teens: My 8yr old girl is lying all the time help me, lying all the time, clean clothes
lying all the time, clean clothes, family counseling: Dear Corey: If you haven t already do get some family counseling. It sounds like she is still having issues. Being sexually molested takes some people most of their lives to deal with and she is only 8 years old. Sometimes at this age it is common for...

Parenting --Teens: MY 9 YR OLD, james windell, school psychologist
james windell, school psychologist, watching tv: Hello Sophie, I need a little more information before I can give you some suggestions. 1. How long has your son presented the difficulties you describe? 2. Has he been identified at school as a child with special needs? Has he been evaluated by a school...

Parenting --Teens: 9 year old boy, mother dear, walking down the street
mother dear, walking down the street, cologne: Dear Kelley: First of all let s get it straight. He is the child you are the adult. Next, you do need to listen and I don t know what rule book you were reading when it was decided parents don t have to listen. LISTENING is the secret to gaining control...

Parenting --Teens: my 9 year old son, tree forts, exploring nature
tree forts, exploring nature, school behavior: Well, in the first place, you re doing everything the opposite of what you need to do to get a positive result from a nine-year-old male. You are caught in a power struggle, and yelling, punishing, time outs and taking things away from him will only make it...

Parenting --Teens: 9 yr old son throws temper tantrums, temper tantrums, boys ages
temper tantrums, boys ages, time outs: Hello Candace, I think your approach is basically a sound one. I would suggest another component. That is, add praise and attention (and even some small rewards) for controlled, non-temper-tantruming behavior. I m sure there are times when he controls himself....

Parenting --Teens: my 9 yr old sons mom is dating and he is jealous, step mom, appriciated
step mom, appriciated, practical tools: Your son is feeling rejected and has alot of hate about his life. He doesn t know where he stands and is afraid of losing his moms attention. Deep down he wants his life to go back before mom met this new guy. Maybe try talking to him and get him to...

Parenting --Teens: ADHD pre-teen issues, teen issues, adhd
teen issues, adhd, video game: Dear Kimberly: What does your son do that is positive? Seems like everything is negative. Do you praise him when is is doing something good? Does he get your attention when he is doing well? He has been diagnosed with ADHD and it seems that is his...

Parenting --Teens: Adolescent irresponsibility, pathetic loser, poor judgement
pathetic loser, poor judgement, great relationship: Dear Sasha: Why do you think you have so many of these people who come into your life? Get back to alanon for your sake and no one else s. Here is what I read: continue to enrage me I desperate want that cycle to stop so infuriating to deal...

Parenting --Teens: Adolescent returning home in summertime, james windell, dads home
james windell, dads home, uncomfortable situation: Hello Patty, I m sorry to hear about this very uncomfortable situation. How do you deal with it? Perhaps best by talking openly with your boyfriend. It s his responsibility to deal with his sons and his daughter-in-law. If he can t (or won t) protect you...

Parenting --Teens: Adolescents Living With Boyfriend/Girlfriend, morals and ethics, loose morals
morals and ethics, loose morals, adolescents: Kate, I think it is a recipe for disaster. If you are attempting to teach your child poor morals and show them that marriage is not something to be honored then go ahead and let the adolescents live together. Parents are trainers. If you train your child...

Parenting --Teens: Our Adult Son, college part time, undesirable consequences
college part time, undesirable consequences, adult son: Hello Ardis, Obviously you care a great deal about your son and only want the best for him. I think, though, that you have a good, intellectual grasp of the situation. Your son is an adult and independent -- except he still lives at home. What surprises...

Parenting --Teens: Our Adult Son, college part time, undesirable consequences
college part time, undesirable consequences, adult son: Dear Ardis, You stated you thought you were a good parent. Please trust that you were because regardless there is NOTHING you can change now and you are not responsible nor are your adult children s choices about you any longer. It is all about them. What...

Parenting --Teens: Advice on handling a 21 yr old still at home., time joey, keith o brien
time joey, keith o brien, futurepoint: Mary, Thanks for writing. First of all, whether he stays or goes really has nothing to do with the quality of the relationship between Joey and his father. They can have a great relationship either way. Now, my suggestion is to decide what it is you...

Parenting --Teens: Advice for single parent mom on how to raise and discipline 15 year old son, athletic cards, school calander
athletic cards, school calander, downward spiral: Hello Marsha, It seems that when his father died, it triggered something in him that he obviously is not handling very well. He needs to be in therapy so that a therapist can help him take a look at his depression, his self-esteem, and his feelings about...

Parenting --Teens: Age Difference in Dating, college sophomore, whole time
college sophomore, whole time, feelings: Dear K.J. Still the worries are all about YOU. This is a crush not love. Loving her is all about what is best for her as well. As for how this could hurt her or her parents....I realize you are asking this question because you are not yourself a parent....

Parenting --Teens: Aggressive behavior, happy child, game system
happy child, game system, sugar coating: Hello Michael, I m sorry to hear that things have gotten so bad in your family. I don t think you need to call the police -- certainly not yet. But you do have to get things under control. A good place to start might be to have a family meeting. I think...

Parenting --Teens: Aggressive Son, high school diploma, curse words
high school diploma, curse words, pumpkin carving: Hello Jeff, I m so sorry for the pain your son is causing you. If you do anything, you might write him a letter. In that letter you might indicate how you feel about him and his behavior, about how you feel about his verbally abuse to you (and others),...

Parenting --Teens: Alternatives to grounding, sophomore year, dear mom
sophomore year, dear mom, alcoholic beverages: Dear Mom, You are not going to want to hear this however, either there is something you haven t shared here or you are way out of bounds. You have a 16 year old who has not had any problems until just recently and she was grounded 1 day for being 2...

Parenting --Teens: Alternatives to grounding, hi mom, sophomore year
hi mom, sophomore year, verbal reprimand: Hi Mom, With teenagers, there are basically three approaches to consequences. Those approaches are: 1. Removing rewards, privileges and activities; 2. Giving an unpleasant assignment; 3. Verbal reprimand. Any time you use any of the three approaches...

Parenting --Teens: ANGRY SON, grandmother lives, predjudice
grandmother lives, predjudice, computer phone: Hi Terri, I have a couple of suggestions. One, contact the Ohio Psychological Association. They probably have a website which may have a psychologist locator page. Or they may have a referral phone number to call. Ask for a psychologist in your area who...

Parenting --Teens: Angry Teens, anger management classes, angry teens
anger management classes, angry teens, violent rage: Hello Stephanie, If she s still seeing a therapist, I think you need to be talking to that therapist about what to do. If the therapist agrees, it might be a good idea to send her to her grandparent s. This would be a temporary move while she still sees...

Parenting --Teens: Appropriate Punishment for 11 yr old Daugher, experience children, harsh punishment
experience children, harsh punishment, single mom: Hello Rachel, In my experience, children often lie to try to avoid punishment. This can definitely be the case if punishment is typically too severe or harsh. If you have been too hard on her, then I m glad to hear you re working on this. Kids frequently...

Parenting --Teens: Appropriate Punishment/Consequence, spilled beer, negative consequences
spilled beer, negative consequences, step daughter: Hello Mom of 3, The most important thing in punishment is that you are angry and let them know. Next, there has to be a consequence, but it doesn t have to be severe or harsh. Again, the most important aspect of this is that you let them know that they did...

Parenting --Teens: Arguing with my teen-age son, open relationship, decent conversation
open relationship, decent conversation, racist remarks: Hello Francesca, I think your son has some typical problems of adolescence (such as identy concerns), which have been compounded by separation from his father, a sometimes-poor relationship with his mother, and a distant relationship from his stepfather....

Parenting --Teens: Attention to Teen, james windell, disciplinarians
james windell, disciplinarians, gaming time: Hello Steve, You acknowledge that you and your wife are not strict disciplinarians, and apparently that worked just fine for your older sons. But it may not be the best way to handle your 16-year-old. I think you have to be stricter with him. That is,...

Parenting --Teens: Attraction to my homosexual best friend., frinds, frineds
frinds, frineds, back of my mind: Hello Devyn, It is disappointing to find the person you consider the right person for you only to discover they are not available. They can be unavailable for any number of reasons -- being gay is only one of those reasons. Your friend is obviously an...

Parenting --Teens: adolescent depression, school guidance counselor, health food store
school guidance counselor, health food store, st john s wort: I would say that there is some mood issues that happen when puberty hits. It could take on a variety of forms. As I read your issue I was wondering if something has happened with your son that he has not told you about. Has there been a move, death divorce...

Parenting --Teens: adult child, phycologist, anxiety attacks
phycologist, anxiety attacks, sanantonio: Hello Jeni, I m sorry to say that mothers often get blamed for lots of things by kids (and sometimes their therapists). But the good news is that your son is seeing a therapist. And he is still young. He will do a lot of maturing in the next 7 years or...

Parenting --Teens: almost an adult, good parenting, vulnerable age
good parenting, vulnerable age, family meeting: Dear Barb, As you look back, you can see that you have done a good parenting job so far, and I would trust your own instincts. If her friends are questionable, have them over as often as possible to really learn more about them. Get to know the parents...

Parenting --Teens: adults fighting children, kay, adults
kay, adults, adult: Dear Brandon: It is never okay for an adult to hit a child and the police need to be called immediately. As for the child hitting back, this is not going to solve anything and the child could be hurt worse. Please advise them to call the police! Ka...

Parenting --Teens: advise on 20 year old son, assult, happy life
assult, happy life, 10 months: Hello Lindsay, Sorry for the delay in responding. At age 20, your son has every right to make decisions about girlfriends on his own. He also has the right to make poor judgments on his own. I know that as a parent this will be distressing to you. But...

Parenting --Teens: what age in children is not sexual curiosity anymore, sexual curiosity, horrible situation
sexual curiosity, horrible situation, rn: I m not sure at what age this type of thing turns from curiosity about one s body to something more, because it would be different for each child. However, I would like to point out that once should be enough to satisfy curiosity. And your friend should...

Parenting --Teens: age difference and parents, problems at home, jess
problems at home, jess, lad: Jess, You should not be dating this guy. He can get arrested for your relationship. Also what do you really have in common except for genitals? This is a relationship not worth having because of how it hurts your family. Do you ask my opinion because you...

Parenting --Teens: aggression, james windell, poor judgment
james windell, poor judgment, peer relationships: Hello Veronica, Self-esteem and self-image as well as peer relationships are all so important to young people at this age. And to have a police officer do something like can be -- at least temporarily -- quite devastating. If he is, out of shame, depression...

Parenting --Teens: angry teen, family orientation, dear james
family orientation, dear james, home mom: Hi Pam, Yes, I understand what you mean. Ideally, one would like him to have all great qualities. But most kids have some areas where they are less than what their parents would like. Some people are just not warm, open and affectionate. It doesn t mean...

Parenting --Teens: angry teenage son, physical violence, supportive place
physical violence, supportive place, family therapist: Hello Julie, I m afraid I m not in your area. I live in Michigan; I believe you re in California. The situation in your family with your son is not an easy one. These are complex situations with a lot of emotions. My suggestion is that you find a good,...

Parenting --Teens: angry/withdrawn teen, quiet kid, part time job
quiet kid, part time job, quiet times: Hello Susan, Yes, it s frustrating to live with a more withdrawn teenager. It s hard to know what they are thinking or what their concerns are. He isn t a social boy, but that s not a crime. It s probably more his temperament. He makes a few friends and...

Parenting --Teens: answer right away, revealing clothing, cleavage
revealing clothing, cleavage, old girl: Let me first address the issue of your parents calling you names. There is absolutely no excuse, no matter what you do, for your parents to behave this way. That is abuse, and it breaks my heart that this is how your parents have chosen to deal with this...

Parenting --Teens: answer right away, james windell, revealing clothing
james windell, revealing clothing, clothing style: Hello, Yep, parents often get upset about their daughters wearing revealing clothing. Most parents feel like it sends the wrong message about who you are. In your situation, you have a sense of what message you re trying to send through your clothing style....

Parenting --Teens: appropriate discipline for 16 year old son, james windell, family sessions
james windell, family sessions, work arrangement: Hello Beth, I m sorry to hear about your son s behavior and the damage to your car. As for an appropriate punishment, that will depend on a few factors. 1. Has he done something like this before (that is, used your car without permission)? If he has,...

Parenting --Teens: appropriate discipline for a 16year old son, gas expense, drivers training
gas expense, drivers training, driving safety: Dear Beth: I can only assume you had some out of pocket expenses and the first thing for a serious consequence would be to pay you for whatever costs you incurred even if it was just gas expense to pick up your rental or whatever wasn t covered under your...

Parenting --Teens: Bad Boyfriend, parent child relationship, dangerous decisions
parent child relationship, dangerous decisions, drugs and alcohol: Hello Vanessa, Yes, it sounds like you ve done everything you can do. The final step of removing her from the public school and home schooling her is a drastic step. Aside from never letting her leave the house, I don t see what else you can do. You obviously...

Parenting --Teens: Bad boyfriend, silly parents, bad attitude
silly parents, bad attitude, anger management: At this point with her age, there isnt too much you can do. The more you insist that he is bad news, the more apealing he becomes to her. If you put your foot down and tell her to end the relationship, she will want to have the relationship more and will...

Parenting --Teens: Bad boyfriend, silly parents, long term relationship
silly parents, long term relationship, reverse psychology: Hello Mel and Maria ! My son is only 15 now but I have experienced a little of what you are facing. The best psychology here is reverse psychology. There is research that shows that we value what seems to be scarce. If you prohibit your daughter or limit...

Parenting --Teens: Bad boyfriend, silly parents, bad attitude
silly parents, bad attitude, anger management: Hello Mel and Maria, You don t sound like jealous and silly parents at all! You do sound sincerely concerned about your daughter. The risk in these situations is that you increase their attraction for each other; often, teens who are in love need to...

Parenting --Teens: Bad boyfriend, silly parents, bad attitude
silly parents, bad attitude, anger management: Hello, this is Andrea. This may sound dissapointing but I have limited internet access right now and won t be able to fully answer your question. I will be home on Aug 3rd but for now I would say that you may need to let your daughter learn this lesson for...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior, james windell, desperate mother
james windell, desperate mother, lyer: Hello Jennifer, Lying and stealing is one thing. Pathological lying and compulsive stealing is quite another. So, I need to ask some questions. 1. How often does she lie? Once a day? Ten times a day? 2. What does she lie about? Everything or only some...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior Disorders/Juvenile Delinquency, juvenile justice system, socialization problems
juvenile justice system, socialization problems, juvenile violent crime: Hello Regina, Since I teach criminal justice and juvenile justice, I do have a few statistics at my fingertips. There are approximately 71 million children in the U.S. Though it s impossible to determine precisely the number of at-risk kids in this country,...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior issues in my 6 year old., right on target, behavior issues
right on target, behavior issues, trouble in school: Hello Jeanine, Asking a child of any age why they misbehave is very unlikely to provide you with any useful information. And trying to understand why a child misbehaves may be a waste of time (at least often). It s usually better to try to change the behavior....

Parenting --Teens: Behavior issues, anger issues, physical complaints
anger issues, physical complaints, behavior issues: Dear Kimberly: Well something is certainly going on. Sometimes children act out like this when they are physically abuse or if they are having anger issues. However, I would suggest starting with having her pediatrician check her out for any physical complaints....

Parenting --Teens: Behavior problem at School only, james windell, academic aspect
james windell, academic aspect, school behavior: Hello Diana, Sorry for the delay in responding. Since he is good at home, it would lead me to suspect that the social and academic aspect of school is a bit overwhelming for him. He may not be ready for Kindergarten. Taking things away is not working,...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior problems, james windell, kindergarten student
james windell, kindergarten student, kindergarten teachers: Hello Darlene, Your granddaughter is a young kindergarten student at age 4. She is perhaps more immature than many of the other children. Kindergarten teachers frequently have one or more children who don t follow the rules at the begining of the kindergarten...

Parenting --Teens: Behavior, results of smoking, alcohol abusers
results of smoking, alcohol abusers, deceased daughter: What do you do? I would say you sit back and count your blessings. Wow. What amazing people you and your husband must be. You ve been through so much in your marriage to one another. You ve lost a child. You ve dealt with all the emotions and experiences...

Parenting --Teens: Beligerent Teen boy, time conversations, family meetings
time conversations, family meetings, son daniel: Dear Cathy, You are wise to have him in therapy, but maybe your therapist is not doing enough. Be sure you keep that person updated and aware that whatever he/she is doing is not working. It is your right to get a different therapist. Setting rules...

Parenting --Teens: BJ HICKMAN, popn life, founder jon
popn life, founder jon, open expression: Personally, I find it a sad commentary on life in American and the right of free speech being streatched to the limit. This website is only people like me, volunteering our time to help where we can. Anyone can volunteer, and until complaints come in,...

Parenting --Teens: Blended Families & Discipline, sunshine and flowers, skipping school
sunshine and flowers, skipping school, blended families: Hello Nadine, You are raising some important issues. These are issues that concern every stepparent and every parent who marries a stepparent. The observations I m offering here are based on my own expewrience as a stepparent, my living with my wife, who...

Parenting --Teens: Boisterous street teens assembling in middle of street!, james windell, negative reinforcement
james windell, negative reinforcement, delinquent teenagers: Hi Vasil, I don t suggest negative reinforcement because that can lead to them responding with more defiance and their own brand of negative reinforcement. I have another suggestion. Get to know the kids. You live in a cul-de-sac and they obviously recognize...

Parenting --Teens: My Brother, james windell, poor mother
james windell, poor mother, troubled teens: Hello David, Often with troubled teens, it seems that nothing you do or say helps. As a brother, maybe the best thing you can say to him is something like: I know things have been rough for you but I still believe in you and I know you ll pull out of...

Parenting --Teens: Brother/Son, brother scott, mum and dad
brother scott, mum and dad, loads of money: Dear Robert, Thank you so much for coming to me for help. It is a good first step, though I live in far-off America, I can still tell you to start at: www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk I can also suggest going online to search. There is help, but your brother...

Parenting --Teens: My Brothers, first erection, school captain
first erection, school captain, stroppy: Hello James, If you don t know where you stand with your brothers, think of them. That is, they must be very confused. First, you re their brother and second you re their dad. Only they had a dad and a mom, now they re gone. So, put the normal turmoil of...

Parenting --Teens: Bullies, confrontational situation, classmates
confrontational situation, classmates, bullies: Hello Carol, I think you should stay out of it -- up to a point. I don t think you should, for instance, contact the other parents. That takes some of the responsibility off your son. However, there are things you can do to help your son. You want him...

Parenting --Teens: b/f/g/f relationships - what is too big of an age difference?, 16 yr old girls, old boyfriends
16 yr old girls, old boyfriends, age gap: 3 yrs isnt a huge age difference. I always reckoned a guy needed at least two years on a girl to mature. Its totally normal for 15/16 yr old girls to have 18 yr old boyfriends and its not that big of a deal. The main thing is whether or not he is a decent...

Parenting --Teens: bad parenting?, long periods of time, living hell
long periods of time, living hell, antique mall: Hi Josh, I think parents have basically about five choices when disciplining teens. 1. To ignore inappropriate behavior. 2. To scold or use a reprimand. 3. To reason (explain why it s wrong or inappropriate). 4. To remove privileges or activities...

Parenting --Teens: bedroom visiting, personal comfort level, conjugal bliss
personal comfort level, conjugal bliss, physical intimacy: Let s ask a few more questions to answer this. As parents, where do you bring your friends to visit? As parents, what activities do you feel the bedroom is for? If you were your child looking at the same questions I think you would find different views...

Parenting --Teens: behavior issues in school, tattle tails, loyal person
tattle tails, loyal person, school counseling: Dear Jess, It seems that your son s behavior is inconsistent and confusing. To sort this all out, I suggest you get him some conseling with a family therapist...or school counseling if this is available. It also seems that you are getting mixed messages...

Parenting --Teens: behavioral problems, daughter vanessa, parents magazine
daughter vanessa, parents magazine, teen agers: I am sorry I will not be of much help since I work mainly with teen-agers. However there was an article in the Jan editition of PARENTS magazine about this and they are all listed as normal toddler phases that the child will eventualy grow out of. Most of...

Parenting --Teens: boyfriend dump or keep?, video games friends, biology class
video games friends, biology class, random problems: i know what you mean, this year has been the worse year of my life from loosing my family to almost loosing the person i love so much, he wasnt always there for me... but i knew deep down that he carred so much, its just sometimes guys dont know how to help...

Parenting --Teens: boyfriends dad...., type of girl, boyfriends
type of girl, boyfriends, waste your time: im so sorry this has taken a long time to get to u i sent it but you did not recieve it i apologize fer the wait, b ut my opinion on this is i think you should ask his dad to sit and talk to u, ask him why he dislikes you or doesnt talk to u, explain urself...

Parenting --Teens: boys, missing something, closeness
missing something, closeness, kay: Alicia: Well life is complicated when we are in relationships. Sometimes when we think about someone we use to know we are missing not necessarily them but what they represented to us. For instance think of what you liked about him and in particular what...

Parenting --Teens: boys, two women, best friend
two women, best friend, best friends: Claire: Let me get this straight, you like him and he likes you BUT he won t break up with your BEST FRIEND. This isn t love when it hurts you and your best Friend. Love doesn t take what isn t yours to have and it doesn t ignore what doesn t come back...

Parenting --Teens: brother causing havoc, sex parent, mother down
sex parent, mother down, family meeting: Children bond most with their same-sex parent, and losing his father at the age of eleven would have been very difficult for him. He may have hidden his anger inside as much as he could, and it is only now surfacing, as his hormones stop the filtering process,...

Parenting --Teens: my brothers 2, raging hormones, mum and dad
raging hormones, mum and dad, brother matt: Hi James, Nope. No solution to stopping raging hormones. I think you are insightful, however, in pointing out that like you he is a bit rebellious as a teenager. And furthermore, since he feels things deeply he can t really come out and say what he s feeling....

Parenting --Teens: Cell phone charges, james windell, initial decision
james windell, initial decision, instincts: Hello Kim, Your instincts are right. She did not live up to the agreement and no matter how convenient it is for you and for her, there has to be consequences. If she can pay for it, then she may be able to keep the phone. However, if she can t, then she...

Parenting --Teens: Challenges Parents Face, dear teresa, parents face
dear teresa, parents face, family relationships: Dear Teresa, This question is much too long and complex to answer in a column or email. BUT the hardest problems are seeing your own faults magnified in your children as they grow into pre teens...and forgetting that they also have your strengths and good...

Parenting --Teens: Child Sexual Behavior, behavior question, magazines tv
behavior question, magazines tv, share custody: Hello Adriana, I m glad my previous response offered you a measure of relief. Is it common among psychotherapists to believe that exploratory sexual behavior is normal? I can t really answer that. I can tell you that based on my experience therapists who...

Parenting --Teens: Childcare to Relationships, full time job, occasional night
full time job, occasional night, necessary communication: Perhaps not the most popular answer but from my experience the answers are yes and yes! When children are raised by a caregiver, be that a nanny, babysitter, day care, whatever, they miss critical time in their young lives bonding with their parents. When...

Parenting --Teens: Childs behaviour, bad feelings, abusive relationship
bad feelings, abusive relationship, luckly: Brenda, you are so intelligent to recognize this behavior is damaging to her. Wanting to get help and change is the first step. Since you left the relationship, you are already doing one very right thing. Some may disagree, but I think it is good of you...

Parenting --Teens: Chrissy!, weird dream, hockey game
weird dream, hockey game, good sense: Hi Avery, It may have been God. Or your intuition or something else. But the fact that things happened twice that you dreamt about may mean that you have a good sense or instinct about somethings. So you might pay attention to those in the future -- if you...

Parenting --Teens: Clingy Teenager, good habit, cuddly bear
good habit, cuddly bear, daytime sleepiness: Hello, Richard, I m curious about how many other children you have raised, and if you would be asking me this question at all if he were female. Every child is different and has his own physical, emotional and spiritual needs. It sounds like you have...

Parenting --Teens: College Transfer to be with boyfriend, new england college, christmas in texas
new england college, christmas in texas, college freshman: Hi Ellen, Thanks for the question. There are a couple points that come to mind: (1) she is 19 and lives on her own (at school) currently, (2)you don t have to support her. I think that I would say something like this: we love you and we trust you to make...

Parenting --Teens: Concern about smoking??, cigarettes, shelves
cigarettes, shelves, invasion: Well, given you state you don t have a great relationship with her, now is not the time to let her know you went through her things. That will push her away completely and she will lose complete faith in you. Let this go for a while. You need to see her...

Parenting --Teens: Concerned about a 14 yr old, damn reason, school projects
damn reason, school projects, long sleeve shirt: Dear Mariano, Thank you so much for your support of your friend Ana. Everyone needs people in their lives with a sincere interest in helping. You were right to ask for help. Sasha has an illness that is sadly quite common, but can be controlled. ...

Parenting --Teens: Concerned about a 14 yr old, damn reason, school projects
damn reason, school projects, long sleeve shirt: Hello Mariano, Cutting and self-mutilating behavior in teenage girls is rather common. It usually happens when they are unhappy and depressed, and when they feel a lot of internal pain. For girls, this usually means there are family problems -- where they...

Parenting --Teens: Concerned about a 14 yr old, damn reason, school projects
damn reason, school projects, long sleeve shirt: Cutting is about control. Your friend s daughter very possibly feels her mother is in control of her life. Very much like an eating disorder, and however ill-conceived the notion, cutting is a means of taking back control of her life. Cutting actually gives...

Parenting --Teens: Concerned about a 14 yr old, damn reason, school projects
damn reason, school projects, long sleeve shirt: Dear Mariano: The best thing you can do for your friend is to let her know you are there for her and you will listen to her without judging her or her daughter. Next you need to know you cannot fix this for her and neither can I. Self mutilation is...

Parenting --Teens: Concerned Sister, graphic sexual acts, teen chat line
graphic sexual acts, teen chat line, different boys: HI Sarah, one of the things you can do is to let child protection know your side of the story. They always take that into great consideration. It does sound like she has crossed the line of typical curiosity. Child protection can actually be quite helpful...

Parenting --Teens: Conflicts with my 14-yr-old son, true feelings, great mother
true feelings, great mother, mother son: How can I be the mother he wants me to be? You can t be the mom he wants. That mom would be very unstable. He would want you one way one minute and another way the next. You need to be a consistent parent who keeps boundaries and doesn t give in to her sons...

Parenting --Teens: Consequences for poor/failing grades, james windell, school psychologist
james windell, school psychologist, life in the future: Hello Craig, Since his grades have been declining at both schools, and since there are teachers who believe he is capable, you should ask for an evaluation by a school psychologist to find out why he is not achieving. Schools are obligated to provide evaluations...

Parenting --Teens: Out of Control Anger, juvenile court system, control anger
juvenile court system, control anger, personality problems: Hello Lisa, I m sorry to hear about the aggression and violence of your son. However, when he is being aggressive and violent with a family member, then this is domestic violence. If he is punching and hitting you, his mother, this makes it even worse....

Parenting --Teens: Out of Control Teenager, birth control pills, james windell
birth control pills, james windell, runaway child: Hello Jerry, It seems like there s a lot going on in your family. I think you have to take one problem at a time. Maybe the first thing is to deal realistically with your daughter s sexual behavior. You may not be able to do anything about her being sexually...

Parenting --Teens: Controlling, Manipulative girlfriend, mommas boy, good relationship
mommas boy, good relationship, step mother: Hello Tina, Your son is 18, and in some states that makes him an adult in many ways. Which means you cannot really make the decisions in this situation. However, your son s fears about what this disturbed girl will do, plus his liking or love for her,...

Parenting --Teens: Controlling parents, controlling parents, wether
controlling parents, wether, 9 months: Emily, Part of being 18 is that you are able to make decisions on your own. Parents are often a good guide on wether you are making good decisions or not. Instead of getting emotionally involved in this try to see what they see and then determine if they...

Parenting --Teens: Correcting someone else's child, oh my goodness, likable person
oh my goodness, likable person, rude manner: Dear Sonya, You are really stuck in a hard place if you have no support from other family members. If you are generally on good terms with her except for this one thing, you need to go have a date alone and have lunch or coffee together in a public place...

Parenting --Teens: Crazy Step-Mom?, step mom, younger siblings
step mom, younger siblings, great relationship: Dear Cody: You didn t say how old your girlfriend is however you did mention she generally stays out of trouble and she got caught drinking at a party. I assume she is underage and drinking when you or she are not over the age of 21 is ILLEGAL. I...

Parenting --Teens: Crazy Step Mom, step mom, younger siblings
step mom, younger siblings, girlfrien: First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to get to your question. My computer died a few days ago, and I just got it up and running again. I can t help you to understand this situation because I don t understand it myself. I believe you may be...

Parenting --Teens: Am I Crazy?, romeo and juliet, teenage issues
romeo and juliet, teenage issues, serious relationship: John, Your number one job as a parents is to always set reasonable limits, not raise a child in fear and not raise a child who thinks they should be able to do anything they want. He is a 15 year old boy that is going to get a girl pregnant if you don t set...

Parenting --Teens: Curfews, james windell, local community college
james windell, local community college, adult college: Hello Creig, A reasonable curfew for a young adult college student is whatever time you both can work out that is reasonable for both of you. As you suggest, you are fairly flexible, but the problem for you -- as for most parents -- is that you worry about...

Parenting --Teens: cell phone, grand scheme of things, none of my business
grand scheme of things, none of my business, promise ring: Hi, Donna... Are you able to see how hurtful it might be to her for you to make a comment to her about her boyfriend wanting to find someone like the girl she used to be ? I felt I answered the cell phone question but I ll expound a little bit more....

Parenting --Teens: cheating, letter of apology, wrongful act
letter of apology, wrongful act, bad person: Dear Keegan: You need to take responsibility for the action. First saying I am sorry and will you forgive me I will not ever do this again is a real apology. Secondly, include comments about why cheating is not a good thing to do. The most important...

Parenting --Teens: cheating in school, high school cheerleader, cheer coach
high school cheerleader, cheer coach, middle school principal: Hello Danielle, I m sorry to hear about your concerns with your 14-year-old daughter. We can empathize because we have a 15-year-old at home. I d like to, first of all, take issue with something that you said. You indicated that your responses to misbehaviors...

Parenting --Teens: my child lies about almost everything, windell, oyu
windell, oyu, reprimand: Hi Donna, Aside from going to a family therapist to explore the problem and other approaches that might be taken, I would suggest continuing to do what you ve been doing. Reasoning and consequences should anchor your discipline with her. While dramatic...

Parenting --Teens: children stealing from parents, close proximity, severe punishment
close proximity, severe punishment, daily basis: Stacey, you have somewhat limited yourself and me on the options to get your son back on track. If he steals and you refuse to get authorities invovled it shows he can do it with impunity. What is some chores and a little yelling when you can take 20 here...

Parenting --Teens: a clingy eight years old, james windell, dance competion
james windell, dance competion, dear james: Hello Saowalak, I think the problem is that your daughter is eight! Eight-year-olds have their own set of issues. One is that they are now capable of more sophisticated abstract thinking. That leads to them understanding the world and life more. But the...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, family counseling
ill feelings, family counseling, good relationship: Tell your son you both need to talk and all his needs to do is hear you out. Don t give him a choice about talking to you...tell him we are talking and you are listening to what I have to say. It would be up to him to take your advice, whatever but you...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, family counseling
ill feelings, family counseling, good relationship: I m concerned with the fact that, from your very first sentence, you started laying the foundation for holding this girl responsible for your son s change in behavior. You also appear to be personalizing his attitudes and behaviors, as well. Certainly, as...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, family counseling
ill feelings, family counseling, good relationship: Hi Paula, Did all of this behavior just start when your son began dating his girlfriend? The reason i ask is because if there isn t any history of this behavior, it s likely less serious. Teenagers often go through bouts of varied behaviors - sometimes...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, dear paula
ill feelings, dear paula, family counseling: Dear Paula, As hard as it may be, you need to get to know this girl and her family and find out what makes her tick. You need to get her on your side if possible. TRY, because otherwise this may only get worse. Have her over often, and even have her folks...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, family counseling
ill feelings, family counseling, good relationship: Paula, Well the good news is your have a teenager all most adult here and some of this is typically normal. It is normal for teens to want to ignore their families as they are breaking away. However from what you describe your son is in total control...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, ill feelings, family counseling
ill feelings, family counseling, good relationship: Hello Paula, Throughout adolescence teenagers tend to be pulling away. We just see it more clearly when there are new friends or a new love interest. For a parent or siblings, it feels like you (and sometimes your values) are being rejected or abandoned...

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, adolescent development, ill feelings
adolescent development, ill feelings, family counseling: Hi Paula, well there are a couple things: this is his first love and he is acting normally about that. It s part of adolescent development and separating from family to become his own individual. The big problem is the lack of responsibility. I don t know...

Parenting --Teens: college age child, dental appointments, carefree lifestyle
dental appointments, carefree lifestyle, poor choices: Dear Sandy: Your college age adult child needs to be treated the way you would any other adult. She is not in school and living at home for free? What are your teaching her about how to treat you and what to expect from the world. Surely she is expected...

Parenting --Teens: college age child, dental appointments, carefree lifestyle
dental appointments, carefree lifestyle, poor choices: Sandy, While she is biologically yours, she is a guest in your home. Would you allow a guest to do the things she is doing? If she was being respectful and considerate I would say you could tolerate some of what she is doing. She should be given a curfew,...

Parenting --Teens: college age son, hard liquor, mom and dad
hard liquor, mom and dad, initial actions: Dawn, It sounds as if your son may not have internalized your beliefs. That is unfortunate, but you may not be able to do anything about it. It sounds like you are doing what is needed. I would take a careful look at what is going on with him at school. Are...

Parenting --Teens: college age son, responsible adults, responsible adult
responsible adults, responsible adult, drug and alcohol: Yes, my advice would change. You must have enough evidence to be sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is using. If you do, drug test him. If he is positive, you need to tell him he has two choices. If he chooses to continue to use, you will not fund...

Parenting --Teens: A college bound 17 year old, purdue university indianapolis, indiana university purdue
purdue university indianapolis, indiana university purdue, wayne state university: Hi Ana, How are you? I m a Wayne State University undergrad and currently teach there. However, as I look back on what I was thinking at about the time I was graduating from high school, I didn t have a clue. Most of us are fairly clueless at that stage...

Parenting --Teens: college life, trips home, clean break
trips home, clean break, moving day: Dear Ashley: Of course you have to do what is best for you to adjust. My concern is that it sounds like you are pushing your feelings away rather than your parents. It is normal to want a clean break. However, it may be emotionally health for you...

Parenting --Teens: communication skills, sensory games, google
sensory games, google, question thanks: There is the one where you put different objects with different textures in a box with a hole for their hand to go through and feel the texture and they try and guess what the object is or they describe it first and then guess. I would again, google the topic...

Parenting --Teens: confused ....., james windell, solid food
james windell, solid food, doing the right thing: Hello Swati khona, You are right. Your son is growing and developing. And this is true of him not only physically but also emotionally. For him to grow emotionally, it s important during his infancy that his parents are responsive to him. That means, when...

Parenting --Teens: When consequences are not respected, christmas school, christmas spirit
christmas school, christmas spirit, new girlfriend: Hello M., Yes, you don t have control of your son. You apparently did have control as long as he felt close to you and wanted nothing more than to please you. Then he became a middle adolescent with a need to assert himself as different than his mother....

Parenting --Teens: Out of control Sibling, substance abuse counselor, alcohol alcohol
substance abuse counselor, alcohol alcohol, alcohol and other drugs: Dear Nicole: Your sister admits she has been drinking since she was 14? She needs help for substance abuse immediately! People who suffer from alcoholism LIE. They lie not because they are bad or not wanting to be good. They lie because it is part of...

Parenting --Teens: My out of control Teenager, james windell, amazon
james windell, amazon, juvenile courts: Hello Joyce, It sounds like your daughter controls things in your home. That has to change or you re going to be miserable for the next few years. I would suggest you find a copy of my book 8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child. This book, which is available...

Parenting --Teens: out of control teen, having the last word, hostage situation
having the last word, hostage situation, disrespectful behavior: Dear Tammy: Your 14 year old son has changed dramatically in the last year because his hormones have shown up! However, rude and disrespectful behavior is not allowable especially because you are a single mom. It does take two to tangle as the saying...

Parenting --Teens: Out of control teen, medication for depression, phone computer
medication for depression, phone computer, computer tv: Hello Shelly, Many parents of teenagers feel they are at the breaking point. This is frequently the case between the ages of 13 and 17. Your daughter is experiencing some fairly serious adjustment problems and your instinct to get her into counseling...

Parenting --Teens: Too controlling or am I rebellious, perfect gentleman, step dad
perfect gentleman, step dad, gas in my car: Hi Jennifer~ No,you aren t being rebellious. Your mother is being entirely too controling. You are an adult now. You don t need her permission to do anything period. I urge you to sit down and talk to her ASAP. Otherwise,she s going to continue treating...

Parenting --Teens: coping as a co parent, same sex relationship, mental health issues
same sex relationship, mental health issues, lifestyle choice: Hello Lucy, Smashing windows and insane yelling seems a bit extreme for an adolescent dealing with her mother s relationship. Particularly one that s been going on for most of her life. That does suggest other issues. However, if they have seen a therapist...

Parenting --Teens: coping, empty nest syndrome, mom time
empty nest syndrome, mom time, mother figure: Hi Renee~ Then you let the child go and find out the truth about what the mothers all about. He/She will find out on her own that their bio-mother hasn t changed over the years. And if she wasn t wanting or even capable of raising a child when they need...

Parenting --Teens: crime spree no remorse, 17 year old, crime spree, girlfiend
crime spree, girlfiend, spare key: Dear Linda, Don t give up! Get on the Internet and see if there is a group called tough love in your area. If there is, they will give you much needed support. Buy a little lock box safe and lock all your valuables, keys, and purse into it every night....

Parenting --Teens: curious daughter, little pond, realtionship
little pond, realtionship, word of advice: You need to have a talk with her about her behavior. Sleeping nude is fine as long as she is by herself and not with others. Your daughter doesn t seem to understand right from wrong on certain issues. Ask her why she feels sleeping nude with others...

Parenting --Teens: cutting, old girl, counselor
old girl, counselor, heart: Dear Jessica... I can t imagine how hard it must have been for you to confide this in me. I really appreciate your trust. Unfortunately, there s only so much I can do through writing...you really need to talk to someone. I know you may think your problem...

Parenting --Teens: Daddy moving far away, financial sacrifice, great relationship
financial sacrifice, great relationship, smooth one: Oh my....well, I don t have to tell you that you need to tell them TODAY. No matter what you have to rearrange in your lives, you need to take care of this immediately. There s going to be enough resentment already, and you can t go back and change that,...

Parenting --Teens: Dating problems, disfunctional family, blah blah
disfunctional family, blah blah, better hope: Sadly most cases like this, she will only learn from her own mistakes. Talking to her and telling her what probably will happen won t do much good. Unless you have been in a traumatic relationship yourself chances are she will think you don t have a clue...

Parenting --Teens: Dating and Sexuality, boyfriend and girlfriend, typical teenager
boyfriend and girlfriend, typical teenager, good kid: Dear Linda; I hear two problems here and yes both of them do belong to you. 1. I hear you asking why your daughter won t talk to you. I suspect it may have something to do with my second answer but before I go there consider a few things. Do you...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter, emotional roller coaster, parenting teenagers
emotional roller coaster, parenting teenagers, birth mom: Hello Randy, Welcome to the wonderful, exciting world of parenting teenagers! Seriously, middle teenagers, between 14 and 16, are often riding on that emotional roller coaster -- one minute high on life, the next totally depressed. There probably isn t...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter, emotional roller coaster, mental health issue
emotional roller coaster, mental health issue, m kay: Dear Randy, I am impressed with how well you all have pulled together to support this young woman! I hope all of the adults realize what a good job they are doing in this situation. Adolescents do go through mood swings and even more so if there is...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter, m kay, apple cart
m kay, apple cart, smart lady: Dear Barry: Well the good news is this is the only issue you are writing me about! With all you wrote about her medicals being normal, she gets exercise etc....I wouldn t worry about it. Besides what can you really do about it? If you decide to address...

Parenting --Teens: My Daughter's Behavior - Mom is like a girlfriend, daughter need, indy 500
daughter need, indy 500, math class: Hello Mike, Maybe the only alternatives you have are (1.) an intervention with family memebers, or (2.) going to see a therapist yourself. An intervention can be useful, because it may result in yoir wife getting help. However, it may have just the opposite...

Parenting --Teens: My Daughter Dixie, u tube videos, skating rinks
u tube videos, skating rinks, skating rink: You had better closely monitor her PC and Net activities and take away My Space and U Tube or even her pc privileges if she is uing them for bad reasons instead of school work. Say NO and No is just fine, along with your reasons...be clear and frank about...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter's Friend is Hitting Her, incidences, 8 years
incidences, 8 years, great time: Hello Tracee, I think what you have suggested to her is the best approach. But how to convince her of that? I think you have to continue to emphasize that it doesn t feel good to be hit by your friend and if being assertive ( I don t like it when you hit...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter "likes" a boy at school, slippery slope, dating girls
slippery slope, dating girls, group outings: Patricia, I guess you first need to decide with your husband if you want your daughter to be dating. If the answer is no, then DO NOT give her mixed messages. She shouldn t get any message that group outings are okay. It seems that messages like these are...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter - Mikaela, pathological lier, enormous debt
pathological lier, enormous debt, personality disorder: Dear Danielle: You are not going to like my answer. She is 24 regardless of whether or not she acts like she is 14. LET GO! She is not going to grow up until everyone around her stops fussing over her. Ignore her bad behavior and let her deal with the...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter having sex, gifted kids, sex question
gifted kids, sex question, plan b: Hi Marie, You cannot be intimidated by her threats. She might or might not plan to hurt herself if you take some action. You still have to do something. The next step is to go to the juvenile court in your county and go to the intake department and say...

Parenting --Teens: Daughter, emotional roller coaster, birth mom
emotional roller coaster, birth mom, step mom: Randy, You have asked one of the hardest questions to answer, but I ll try my best. Self worth obviously has to come from your daughter, and it s very difficult to watch your child suffer from the pangs of adolescence, but there are many, many teens who...

Parenting --Teens: DESPERATELY TRYING with 15 year old son, blue ribbon school, mainstream classes
blue ribbon school, mainstream classes, gifted class: Hello, Sorry to hear about all the problems with your son. Even though you ve tried it before, your son really needs to be seeing a good therapist who is skilled in working with children and teens with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. Try to find...

Parenting --Teens: Dealing with a disrespectful 16 year old, new delhi india, watching television
new delhi india, watching television, playing games: Dear Shachi My only suggestion is that you CANNOT handle this very hard problem alone. You need professional help as soon as possible. Find a child psychologist or family therpist or whatever sort of professional is appropriate. This is not going to improve...

Parenting --Teens: Defiant 12-year old., james windell, curses
james windell, curses, counselor: Hello Christina, I need more information from you about your daughter. For instance, when you say this has been going on since age 4, do you mean her behavior? What was her behavior like at ages 3 and 4? How often does she miss school? How does she...

Parenting --Teens: Defiant to the Max, door locks, must be a way
door locks, must be a way, woman to woman: Hello Cindy, Sorry to hear about the problems caused by your daughter. First, I agree. She has no business living with her father. So, as long as you have control over where she lives, you should tell her that is not an option. Second, her behavior....

Parenting --Teens: Defiant Teen, high school swim team, continual battle
high school swim team, continual battle, one at home: Dear Mark, As I read your letter, I could see that you need more help than I can give...If you had a counselor and you liked that person and he/she helped, try again. I kept thinking Tough Love ...if there is a support group or Tough Love organization there,...

Parenting --Teens: Depression, outpatient rehab, suicide attempt
outpatient rehab, suicide attempt, stupidest thing: Kim, If he threatens suicide you need to take that seriously. You need to call an ambulance or police to let him know that you are serious when he threatens this kind of behavior. It does sound like he is in need of a chance to talk to someone. Getting him...

Parenting --Teens: Depression, outpatient rehab, suicide attempt
outpatient rehab, suicide attempt, stupidest thing: Dear Kim: I am so sorry you are dealing with this situation. There is nothing more heartrending or heartbreaking than watching a child deal with a substance abuse mental health condition. You posting is not long because you had so much to explain it...

Parenting --Teens: Depression, outpatient rehab, suicide attempt
outpatient rehab, suicide attempt, stupidest thing: Hello Kim, I know this is worrisome for you. However, you are not his therapist. Get him to a good psychiatrist or psychologist for the therapy. As a mother, you can still play an important role by being supportive and by being available to talk when he...

Parenting --Teens: Depression from Grounding, having a good time, o clock
having a good time, o clock, carousing: Shannon, Believe it or not all teens don t do what you do. Why not try being with your friends without the drinking etc...? Your parents are obviously worried which you give them a right to do. If you were trustworthy and doing the right thing you wouldn...

Parenting --Teens: Depression, high school counselor, true depression
high school counselor, true depression, depression problem: Kathy, Thanks for writing. The interesting thing about this site is that it covers so many topics - being able to get advice on gardening to parenting. But parenting and raising teenagers is hardly planting tuplips. There really isn t a right way. ...

Parenting --Teens: Diciplineing a 16 year old boy, james windell, nieces and nephews
james windell, nieces and nephews, classmates: Hello Kimberlee, This 16-year-old who is living with you has some very serious problems. I don t think discipline is the answer. You and your husband should set some very strict rules (rule number one should be that he either go to school every day or...

Parenting --Teens: Discipining A 15 Year Old Stepdaughter, independent adults, opposite sex friends
independent adults, opposite sex friends, hoarding food: Dear Allen: Well my answer about the bedroom is still the same shut the door. PICK YOUR BATTLES WISELY. As for the cell phone. She can either stay off of it during nighttime hours or she loses it. Turn it off if you have to. Cell phones are a privilege...

Parenting --Teens: Discipline Problems with Daughters, child support case, discipline problems
child support case, discipline problems, point fingers: Hello Andrea, These are difficult problems -- and there are no easy solutions. As far as discipline goes, children may not like you in the short term when you discipline. Especially when there seems to be an alternative with another parent who offers few...

Parenting --Teens: Discipline problems with daughters, new man in my life, personal protection order
new man in my life, personal protection order, temper tantrums: Hi Dawn, I don t know what is available in Monroe. I only know about Oakland County. The problem with most SMILE-type programs is that they are very short. And don t help with more serious communication problems. In Oakland County, we offer the ADEPT...

Parenting --Teens: Disrespectful Teen, sexual addiction, care attitude
sexual addiction, care attitude, hole family: Dear Melanie: I am concerned from you question you son may have developed a sexual addiction. You really need to get into a qualified therapist and have him evaluated. The lying and the other negative acting out behaviors are all symptomatic of addictions....

Parenting --Teens: Divorced,dead beat dad manipulates son to go live with him, peach corps, dead beat dad
peach corps, dead beat dad, deadbeat dad: Yes. Forgive them both and move on with your own life. Your son is 18 and in our society, this means he is an adult, with all the rights and responsibilities that entails. He s gone. He won t be coming back. The last picture you want to represent...

Parenting --Teens: Don't like our son's girlfriend, quick reply, breakups
quick reply, breakups, altho: Kim, This isn t about the girlfriend. I would bet that they have had sex, but he is not going to tell you. This is about teaching your son how to have balance in his life. If he is not able to do it on his own then you need to do it for him. This would also...

Parenting --Teens: daughter, substance abuse problem, protective mother
substance abuse problem, protective mother, 18 year olds: Dear Kim: She is almost 18. You have done your job and it is time for you to take care of you. You need to tell her you love her and care for her and you are there for her. This is your new role in taking care of her. She has a substance abuse problem...

Parenting --Teens: daughter, james windell, daughther
james windell, daughther, bedroom window: Hello BJ, I would suggest a simple grounding. She s not allowed to leave the house, except to go to school, for two weeks. In the meantime, you should be talking to her about the danger and inappropriateness of what she has done. Let her know that she is...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter is getting bad grades might not graduate, real desire, bad grades
real desire, bad grades, single mom: Dear JK, Make and appointment to talk to your child s teacher. Together, brainstorm a way to work on this problem to help her improve. Explain your side of it to the teacher honestly, including your concerns and your desire for helping wilthout helping...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter's behavior, girl scout leader, parent teacher conference
girl scout leader, parent teacher conference, sunday school teachers: Hello Gina, I m sorry to hear about the history of problems with your daughter. She is probably not mentally ill, however, she does have a combination of problems. Those include Oppositional Defiant Disorder, possibly ADHD, substance abuse, self-multilation,...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter's behavior, girl scout leader, parent teacher conference
girl scout leader, parent teacher conference, sunday school teachers: Gina, This was a long question. I don t know that you will like what I have to say however, I tell it as I see it and your daughter needs some professionaly care. 1st. The drinking. She is only 16 and the drinking screams for a need for a substance...

Parenting --Teens: daughter and boyfriends, last boyfriend, christmas gifts
last boyfriend, christmas gifts, boy friend: Hello Dawn, I can see that one problem is that she doesn t really wan to hear you give her advice. This is very common for teenagers at around age 15 or 16. My first suggestion would be that you stop giving free advice. What I mean is that if she isn t...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter and her choices, 16 year old teens, poor decisions
16 year old teens, poor decisions, noncustodial parent: Hello Emily, It s not at all unusual for 16-year-old teens to get surly, disrespectful, and unpleasant with their parents. Disregard of parental rules is also fairly common. Adolescents want to be independent and make their own decisions. This brings...

Parenting --Teens: should I let my daughter date a 24 year old, early teens, baby steps
early teens, baby steps, leaving home: Hi, Susan... Thank you for writing. Let me first congratulate you in earning your daughter s respect. The fact that she is 18 years old and still concerned with your opinion says a lot for how you ve raised her and the relationship you have developed...

Parenting --Teens: daughter dating and adult, adult behavior, lieing
adult behavior, lieing, wits end: Linda, Your job is to protect your daughter, not worry if you standing up for what is right is going to push her away. To some degree it is a bit late since she already has shown you that she is not willing to listen or respect your word. She is going to...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter and I are growing apart, emotional maturity, getting a divorce
emotional maturity, getting a divorce, innocent victim: This is actually a pretty normal reaction. You re the parent who has all the responsibility, doles out the discipline, etc. Your ex is Disneyland Dad . A 12 year old doesn t have the maturity to see what is so plain to us about this situation. There...

Parenting --Teens: my daughter hates me, top 10 colleges, responsible child
top 10 colleges, responsible child, single mom: It s hard to know exactly what went wrong here but I have a feeling this may just be the repressed feelings of childhood coming to a head. That happens with some kids. You were a single mom, involved in her life, she depended on you and as all young children...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, respect your elders, biggies
respect your elders, biggies, best effort: Dear Elizabeth, I think you have been doing everything right, and what you have done should have worked...But it did not. Sometimes a child has a deeper problem than lying for attention or lying because they fear consequences. I think your daughter needs...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, respect your elders, biggies
respect your elders, biggies, best effort: Dear Elizabeth: I really don t believe you will like my answer. However, my job is not to tell people the things they want to hear it is so tell them what I know based upon my 20+ years of professional experience and my education. You won t like the first...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, respect your elders, biggies
respect your elders, biggies, best effort: Hello Elizabeth, Since you have tried so many approaches over a long period of time, it s difficult to think of something you haven t tried. In fact, you ve covered the approaches most parents and most parenting experts would recommend. The only thing...

Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, respect your elders, biggies
respect your elders, biggies, best effort: Elizabeth, Up to now she has really not experienced the full effect of her behavior. Your solution to let her choose her punishment is good, but the thing that she was to lose did she get it back? It seems that she was going to deprive the store of an item...

Parenting --Teens: my daughter lies and steals, tooth comb, blood stains
tooth comb, blood stains, lovely child: This is a pickle. Immediate action must be taken for her sake as well as your own. The two of you must sit her down and let her know you are not fooled for one second about her stealing $60 from your account. A united front is essential. Get a printed...

Parenting --Teens: daughter's self conscious, humid weather, dear jennifer
humid weather, dear jennifer, hot weather: Dear Jennifer: My first response is to share that you need to pick your battles wisely and this is not a wise battle. Let her figure it out on her own. However you could also start complimenting her on how nice she looks when she is at home without...

Parenting --Teens: daughter trouble, dear dad, personal hygiene
dear dad, personal hygiene, irresponsible behavior: Dear Dad You deserve a life of your own and the happiness to go with it. Believe me after 45 the years fly by much too quickly. You cannot help your child by doing what you are doing now..you are just enabling her to continue her irresponsible behavior....

Parenting --Teens: My daughter wants to live with her father., freshmen year, school homework
freshmen year, school homework, step mom: Dear Susan, The fact that you are asking me what is up with this situation makes me wonder why you haven t asked your daughter?????? Although you may not see anything positive in her dad or step mother (this maybe an issues as well) your daughter must...

Parenting --Teens: Should I make my daughter work?, months probation, court appointed attorney
months probation, court appointed attorney, victim rights: I agree 100% with you both that your daughter should pay you back for all the court costs and the damage she has caused. By her getting a job should make her not only pay you back but teach her the value of money and responsibility. Do not feel guilty...

Parenting --Teens: daughter, abusive boyfriend, daughter daughter
abusive boyfriend, daughter daughter, domestic abuse: Sorry to say this Larry, but women who will live with an abuser have a problem and need counseling...Usually in every locale there is a women s resource center or domestic abuse agency...the women-run places are better than the social services ones, usually....

Parenting --Teens: my daughters friends, possitive attitude, three months
possitive attitude, three months, moms: Try having a talk with your daughter and explain to her you were only trying to help her friend deal with his moms absense. Let her know that some people need to talk to others. Let her know she has nothing to worry about you talking to anyone, you are...

Parenting --Teens: daughters rude boyfriend, adult relationship, parenting styles
adult relationship, parenting styles, parenting children: Dear Lynn: Welcome to the roughest part of parenting, children s significant others. Unfortunately when our children are almost adults they may date people who s parenting styles are drastically different than our own. Here is the deal. It is tricky...

Parenting --Teens: My daugther moving in with boyfriend and starting college, wash clothes, going away to college
wash clothes, going away to college, smart girl: I m assuming you ve got a year before this is going to happen. A lot can happen in a year. Your daughter sounds like a smart girl...you need to allow her to make this decision on her own. I agree with you for every reason you don t want this to happen,...

Parenting --Teens: How to deal with lies, low rider jeans, peer relationships
low rider jeans, peer relationships, freshman year: Hello Kimber, The freshman year in high school, which tends to coincide with ages 14 or 15, is often a time of difficulty for many adolescents. Not only are they entering high school and dealing with the transition to a new school and often tougher assignments,...

Parenting --Teens: dealing with teenage boys, comfy chair, white wine
comfy chair, white wine, twin boys: The very first thing you need to do is: sit down in a comfy chair with a nice glass of white wine (or iced tea!), take a deep breath, and just relax - allow yourself a moment where you can just block out everything around you. Now, to address your concerns....

Parenting --Teens: defiant 14 year old, church staff member, therpist
church staff member, therpist, sweet one: Dear Heather, This is, unfortunately, all too common a situation. You need to get some help from a family therpist or a church staff member, or any older person she respects if that is possible. ALSO, and this is very important, you need to find out...

Parenting --Teens: depression vs manipulation or both, temper tantrum, bad moods
temper tantrum, bad moods, signs of depression: In truth, and based on what they teach in dealing with teens, their emotions and suidcide threats/attempts. Whether or not you feel that he is serious or just wanting the attention from it, you need to get him help. And I do not mean, talking to a counslor...

Parenting --Teens: developmental behavior of 6 yo, personal hygine, classroom noise
personal hygine, classroom noise, developmental behavior: Kate I am a parenting specialist, not a doctor. But I think, as a grandmother and columnist for 20 years, that your son may very possibly have a sensory integration problem. At any rate, there is some type of sensory perception problem and you need to take...

Parenting --Teens: difficult 20yr old, adult choice, passing grades
adult choice, passing grades, two choices: Hello, Yes, it is more complicated. You are suggesting that he has a receptive and expressive disorder. Has this been determined by comprehensive evaluaions? I m sure you are probably right that he has learning problems. And because he has always suffered...

Parenting --Teens: disrespectful 14yr old son, many different things, time church
many different things, time church, domestic violence: Dear Melissa; From what you describe you son is not about to become abusive he is abusive. He was exposed to this behavior of what a man is suppose to be during his formative years. Talking to him about his behavior is not going to do the trick. He most...

Parenting --Teens: disrespectful stepson, metal spoon, extra curricular activity
metal spoon, extra curricular activity, councelors: Hello Shari, It sounds like your 11-year-old stepson has grown up with inconsistent discipline. Now he is out of control and very oppositional. I know you ve seen some counselors, but I suggest that he be taken to a good family therapist -- one who is...

Parenting --Teens: divorce / move away / loss of mother, loss of mother, getting a divorce
loss of mother, getting a divorce, two choices: My heart goes out to you. I can hear your woundedness in every word you write. Divorce is hard. But I must warn you here - you are not the only victim in this divorce. Your sons are victims too. They are the greatest victims, because they had absolutely...

Parenting --Teens: I don't know my teenage sons friends, formal introduction, teenage sons
formal introduction, teenage sons, boys and girls: Dear Carole: Insist her bring them over and introduce you or offer to go with him for the formal introduction. You are right for wanting to know who he is hanging out with as he is underage and you are responsible for him even when he is with his friends....

Parenting --Teens: i dont understand, thinking the same thing, traumatic experience
thinking the same thing, traumatic experience, huey: Hello, Huey; thanks for writing. Sorry I m late to answer, I ve been at a conference all day and must leave early tomorrow, so I m hoping I can be of help to you here. Hmmmmm. I think your sisters have left you an interesting clue, and I have noticed...

Parenting --Teens: dramatic and crying teenage son, fist fight, heat stroke
fist fight, heat stroke, homework assignments: Hello Melissa, You didn t say how old your son is, so I m going to guess that he s about 15 years old. I think part of the reason for the dramatics from your son is his temperament. He sounds like he is a very sensitive boy, which means that he reacts...

Parenting --Teens: drugs, teenage behavior, happy kids
teenage behavior, happy kids, kids these days: Dear Simon, Please let me begin with an apology. I thought I had already responded to your question, and today learned that I had not. So please forgive the delayed response. In regard to your son, I would encourage you to start a conversation with...

Parenting --Teens: Effective Punishment, sound reasoning, phone computer
sound reasoning, phone computer, boy friend: Dear Jan, First of all I don t believe there is an effective punishment. Punishment just breeds temporary compliance with hidden resentment, anger and rage. However I do believe in consequences for one s actions. Ask her what her punishment should...

Parenting --Teens: Estranged Daughter, james windell, graphic details
james windell, graphic details, younger daughter: Hello Deann, I m sorry for the turmoil your family has suffered because of the accusations of your daughter. I ve dealt with many parents who have been estranged from their children. Sometimes this estrangement goes on for years. But how do parents cope...

Parenting --Teens: Extremely Immature 12 year old, emotional outburst, mature manner
emotional outburst, mature manner, emotional outbursts: Dear Debbie: You son sounds like he is very sensitive emotionally. While tantrums are something I am sure which you probably find annoying they need to be ignored. Even negative attention will increase his behavior. I suspect because they bother you that...

Parenting --Teens: I had emailed you a few weeks..., wonderful counselor, professional counselor
wonderful counselor, professional counselor, responsbility: The only thing I could suggest at this point is to have your son see a professional counselor/psychologist/, preferably one who deals with teen problems. I know of a wonderful counselor in Massachusetts, but I don t know where you live, so I m not sure if...

Parenting --Teens: is emancipation too much?, print outs, banking account
print outs, banking account, grading system: Hello Ali, I m sorry to hear that living at your house is so stressful. Since you will be 18 in a few months and since achieving emancipation is rather difficult, I don t think it s worth the effort and struggle. I think you need to focus your energies...

Parenting --Teens: emotional outbreak from 17 y/o daughter, night worrying that, caretaker
night worrying that, caretaker, curfew: Margaret, You job is to protect your child despite their fighting against it. Even though she works hard at school it sounds like you may have raised a spoiled teen that can t seem to handle disappointment well. You could give her the choice of either coming...

Parenting --Teens: emotionally abusive father of 13 yr old girl, professional musician, abusive father
professional musician, abusive father, daugter: Hi Dfradkin, thanks for the question. YOu don t say how old your daughter is so I m not sure about your concern about her language (cursing). The reality is this, she is in therapy and I suspect that is positive. Unfortunately her dad is probably not in...

Parenting --Teens: estranged teen, james windell, vietnamese son
james windell, vietnamese son, pregnancy termination: Hello Lulu, I know it s very difficult to love our kids when they are living differently than the way we raised them. However, when we decided to have children, I don t think we thought we d only love them if they did exactly as we wanted them to. ...

Parenting --Teens: Failing in School, healt issues, dealing with grief
healt issues, dealing with grief, child psychologist: Dear Arlene, I only have one question. How is moving and getting a new start going to help a child who is 14 and has never been a good student? He has to take himself to the new school. Has he been tested to determine if he has a learning disability?...

Parenting --Teens: Family Issues, little sister, evelyn
little sister, evelyn, mom: Dear Jessica, Please talk to your mom about your sister s distress. Perhaps you can work it out to have her stay at your house at least some of the times he is there, or at least get your mom to let your sister have a lock on her door. And you can help...

Parenting --Teens: Family Relations need help, roommate problems, 2 sisters
roommate problems, 2 sisters, oney: Hi Michele~ There s not much advice I can give you really. But I certainly wouldn t take the sisters crap at all. Who runs the household, your parents or her?! I would just say something to them, and tell them that I was sick and tired of her running...

Parenting --Teens: Family/stepfamily abuse and other problems, blinds, happiness
blinds, happiness, feelings: You know, you really do write well. I can t say that about most kids your age. Many adults can t either! I know what you mean about poems. I started writing mine down when I was eleven. Those were pretty bad, but I got better. :) I went through...

Parenting --Teens: Father/Teenage son relationship, high school golf, household chores
high school golf, household chores, sophomore year: Dear Gina, The mouthiness, eye rolling, muttering and absentmindedness are the only problems this otherwise perfect child is giving you and his dad? Well the mouthiness of course you need to let him know is not neccessary and will not be tolerated,...

Parenting --Teens: Feeling like a live in maid., old housewife, chorse
old housewife, chorse, pots and pans: Hi Lora~ No, you ren t being selfish at all! If anything your children are the ones being selfish. They are a part of the family, they live in your house, under your roof, by YOUR rules. Sometimes parents face a problem in that they are just too lenient...

Parenting --Teens: First time @ a loss, girlfriend issue, mom dad
girlfriend issue, mom dad, step dad: Mike, without talking to her directly I don t know specifically what is happening. Here are some ideas, she is pulling away due to age and seeing other friends not hanging with thier parent types. She is struggling with something and doesn t want you or her...

Parenting --Teens: Focusing, james windell, poor grades
james windell, poor grades, lack of attention: Hello Marlene, The short answer is: perhaps nothing. However, when dealing with this kind of problem it s important to start by discussing the problem with the teacher. And learning when and how the lack of attention occurs. Ask what the teacher has tried...

Parenting --Teens: Forbidding my daughter from seeing her boyfriend, intering, teachers conference
intering, teachers conference, gifted child: Hello Jill, I think that you would have a tough time of it trying to break them up at this point. You have allowed her to date him for three years and to try to break them up you are only going to meet a grerat deal of resistance and the two of them will...

Parenting --Teens: A Friend in Need, professional counselors, suicide hotline
professional counselors, suicide hotline, hotline numbers: Dear Kevin: First of all your friend is lucky to have a friend like you. Next here are suicide hotline numbers they are CONFIDENTIAL and FREE. 1-800-suicide and 866-205-5229 and(800) 564-5465 and (800) 631-1314. If she won t call them, then you call them....

Parenting --Teens: Future expert for my writing, vet student, allexpert
vet student, allexpert, college bound magazine: Yep you sure can. I check my emails three or four times a day except when I m away on vacation so unless its something really long that I have to think about and write a lot (which may take a little longer) you should have a response either that day or the...

Parenting --Teens: Future Stepdaughter Moving In, time college student, getting a puppy
time college student, getting a puppy, carefree summer: Hello Jamie, There is no doubt that this may totally alter their summer -- and perhaps their relationship. However, who s to say that this girl won t come to live with them fulltime after your daughter gets married? That could happen. It seems to me...

Parenting --Teens: 11 year old son, younger son, good behavior
Parenting --Teens: 11 year old son, younger son, good behavior, praises

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old Boy - Dropping Grades, raging hormones, c average
Parenting --Teens: 12 year old Boy - Dropping Grades, raging hormones, c average, playing sports

Parenting --Teens: My 12-year-old daughter is out of control
Parenting --Teens: My 12-year-old daughter is out of control

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old daughter makes bad decisions, sexual abuse, staff members
Parenting --Teens: 12 year old daughter makes bad decisions, sexual abuse, staff members, suicide

Parenting --Teens: 12 year old son dating and more, mom
Parenting --Teens: 12 year old son dating and more, mom

Parenting --Teens: 12-year-old son, creepy kids, cool kids
Parenting --Teens: 12-year-old son, creepy kids, cool kids, inconsiderate

Parenting --Teens: 13 Year old embarrased to be seen with mother, few short years, dumpster
Parenting --Teens: 13 Year old embarrased to be seen with mother, few short years, dumpster, nadine

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old daughter refuses to visit her dad, little is better than nothing, respectfull
Parenting --Teens: 13 year old daughter refuses to visit her dad, little is better than nothing, respectfull, loving mother

Parenting --Teens: 13 year old girl is a rude, selfish monster!, attitude, akward age
Parenting --Teens: 13 year old girl is a rude, selfish monster!, attitude, akward age, own skin

Parenting --Teens: my 13 year old son, time step, teenagers
Parenting --Teens: my 13 year old son, time step, teenagers, teenager

Parenting --Teens: my 13 yr daughter cuts her arms to make her self feel better, love
Parenting --Teens: my 13 yr daughter cuts her arms to make her self feel better, love

Parenting --Teens: 14-year-old daughter's lying boyfriend, telling the truth, beau pere
Parenting --Teens: 14-year-old daughter's lying boyfriend, telling the truth, beau pere, c est la vie

Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old having sex?, virginity, 4 months
Parenting --Teens: 14 yr old having sex?, virginity, 4 months, fairness

Parenting --Teens: My 15 Year Old Son Change, Lack of Motivation, aol search engine, motivation
Parenting --Teens: My 15 Year Old Son Change, Lack of Motivation, aol search engine, motivation

Parenting --Teens: My 15 yr old son., ambition, parents
Parenting --Teens: My 15 yr old son., ambition, parents

Parenting --Teens: 16 year old son smoking pot7, misdemeanor marijuana possession, state penitentiary
Parenting --Teens: 16 year old son smoking pot7, misdemeanor marijuana possession, state penitentiary, time 3

Parenting --Teens: 16 year old son, disrespect, phone call
Parenting --Teens: 16 year old son, disrespect, phone call, good luck

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old daughter going down wrong road, intense therapy, lies and deception
Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old daughter going down wrong road, intense therapy, lies and deception, 19 year old

Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old daughter smoking pot at the house, smoking pot, natural herb
Parenting --Teens: 16 yr old daughter smoking pot at the house, smoking pot, natural herb, drug propaganda

Parenting --Teens: 17 Yr. old Son Doesn't listen? Care?, anwser, boot camp
Parenting --Teens: 17 Yr. old Son Doesn't listen? Care?, anwser, boot camp

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old acting out?, master manipulators, pushover
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old acting out?, master manipulators, pushover, old boys

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter, dope, rebellion
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter, dope, rebellion, nightmare

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter, anger issues, emotions
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old daughter, anger issues, emotions, drugs

Parenting --Teens: 17 year old wants to move out, becoming a man, appartment
Parenting --Teens: 17 year old wants to move out, becoming a man, appartment, cell phone

Parenting --Teens: 17 yr old daughter, walking on eggshells, rude person
Parenting --Teens: 17 yr old daughter, walking on eggshells, rude person, one at home

Parenting --Teens: My 17 yr old stepdaughter won't get a job, play computer games, part time job
Parenting --Teens: My 17 yr old stepdaughter won't get a job, play computer games, part time job, earning a living

Parenting --Teens: 17yr olds lifestyle, adult ed classes, curfue
Parenting --Teens: 17yr olds lifestyle, adult ed classes, curfue, skipping school

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old driving me out of my house, step mom, 13 years
Parenting --Teens: 18 year old driving me out of my house, step mom, 13 years, ariel

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old who left home, cell phone service, good parenting
Parenting --Teens: 18 year old who left home, cell phone service, good parenting, door mat

Parenting --Teens: 18 year old son is psycho, mortgage
Parenting --Teens: 18 year old son is psycho, mortgage

Parenting --Teens: 18-yr old son smoking pot again, marijuana issues, proportion
Parenting --Teens: 18-yr old son smoking pot again, marijuana issues, proportion, tobacco

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old boy, transition to adulthood, councilor
Parenting --Teens: 19 year old boy, transition to adulthood, councilor, good luck

Parenting --Teens: 19 year old son, insulin dependant, teaching sunday school
Parenting --Teens: 19 year old son, insulin dependant, teaching sunday school, self destruction

Parenting --Teens: 19 yr old won't grow up?, old habits, young adult
Parenting --Teens: 19 yr old won't grow up?, old habits, young adult, senior year

Parenting --Teens: 21 yr old daughter, johnny walker black, new years eve
Parenting --Teens: 21 yr old daughter, johnny walker black, new years eve, symptoms of bipolar disease

Parenting --Teens: 5 year old boy unaccatpable behaviour, bellies, dolls
Parenting --Teens: 5 year old boy unaccatpable behaviour, bellies, dolls

Parenting --Teens: 9 yr old son throws temper tantrums, temper tantrums, time outs
Parenting --Teens: 9 yr old son throws temper tantrums, temper tantrums, time outs, wits end

Parenting --Teens: Age Difference in Dating, sexual predators, time and patience
Parenting --Teens: Age Difference in Dating, sexual predators, time and patience, legal age of consent

Parenting --Teens: Aggressive behavior, person names, reward money
Parenting --Teens: Aggressive behavior, person names, reward money, step mother

Parenting --Teens: Alternatives to grounding, james fisher, unpleasant job
Parenting --Teens: Alternatives to grounding, james fisher, unpleasant job, assignement

Parenting --Teens: Clingy Teenager, first girlfriend, cuddler
Parenting --Teens: Clingy Teenager, first girlfriend, cuddler, when it came to sex

Parenting --Teens: College Transfer to be with boyfriend, adulthood, scholarship
Parenting --Teens: College Transfer to be with boyfriend, adulthood, scholarship, money

Parenting --Teens: Controlling, Manipulative girlfriend, desition, behavior clinic
Parenting --Teens: Controlling, Manipulative girlfriend, desition, behavior clinic, depresion

Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, demand attention, girlfriend
Parenting --Teens: How do I get close to my son again?, demand attention, girlfriend, chill out

Parenting --Teens: A college bound 17 year old, career counselor, career directions
Parenting --Teens: A college bound 17 year old, career counselor, career directions, 10 years

Parenting --Teens: My out of control Teenager, playbook, delinquency
Parenting --Teens: My out of control Teenager, playbook, delinquency, desk

Parenting --Teens: Out of control teen, parents
Parenting --Teens: Out of control teen, parents

Parenting --Teens: cutting
Parenting --Teens: cutting

Parenting --Teens: My Daughter's Behavior - Mom is like a girlfriend, being a woman
Parenting --Teens: My Daughter's Behavior - Mom is like a girlfriend, being a woman

Parenting --Teens: My Daughter Dixie, safe hands, evelyn
Parenting --Teens: My Daughter Dixie, safe hands, evelyn, boundaries

Parenting --Teens: Daughter having sex, short attention span, human hormones
Parenting --Teens: Daughter having sex, short attention span, human hormones, sacred ground

Parenting --Teens: Depression, smoking marijuana, violent protests
Parenting --Teens: Depression, smoking marijuana, violent protests, suicide risk

Parenting --Teens: Depression from Grounding, do the right thing, judgement
Parenting --Teens: Depression from Grounding, do the right thing, judgement, parents

Parenting --Teens: My daughter is getting bad grades might not graduate, self responsibilty, chores
Parenting --Teens: My daughter is getting bad grades might not graduate, self responsibilty, chores, job

Parenting --Teens: My daughter's behavior, privleges, cell phone
Parenting --Teens: My daughter's behavior, privleges, cell phone, parents

Parenting --Teens: My daughter and I are growing apart, weekend dad, sad irony
Parenting --Teens: My daughter and I are growing apart, weekend dad, sad irony, second childhood

Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, spanked, big time
Parenting --Teens: My daughter lies and steals, spanked, big time

Parenting --Teens: daughter trouble, lady cop, trouble teens
Parenting --Teens: daughter trouble, lady cop, trouble teens, part time job

Parenting --Teens: dramatic and crying teenage son, unpleasant task, benefit
Parenting --Teens: dramatic and crying teenage son, unpleasant task, benefit, parents

Parenting --Teens: Estranged Daughter, family counseling, young girl
Parenting --Teens: Estranged Daughter, family counseling, young girl, wisdom

Parenting --Teens: is emancipation too much?, dad, mom
Parenting --Teens: is emancipation too much?, dad, mom, parents

Parenting --Teens: Girlfriend smokes, drinks, raped, and cusses like a sailor, loving girl, brenneman
Parenting --Teens: Girlfriend smokes, drinks, raped, and cusses like a sailor, loving girl, brenneman, personal choice

Parenting --Teens: girlfriends in the bedroom????, leniant, girl friend
Parenting --Teens: girlfriends in the bedroom????, leniant, girl friend, judgement

Parenting --Teens: HELP SO MUCH DISRESPECT, teen daughter, consequences
Parenting --Teens: HELP SO MUCH DISRESPECT, teen daughter, consequences, sleep

Parenting --Teens: Intentional teen pregnancy., loving act, single mother
Parenting --Teens: Intentional teen pregnancy., loving act, single mother, god

Parenting --Teens: Are all kids lazy and irresponsible????, control your anger, natural consequences
Parenting --Teens: Are all kids lazy and irresponsible????, control your anger, natural consequences, smart kids

Parenting --Teens: Lazy 17 year old son, motivation
Parenting --Teens: Lazy 17 year old son, motivation

Parenting --Teens: Lazy, unaspiring teens, and more., maximum entropy, five senses
Parenting --Teens: Lazy, unaspiring teens, and more., maximum entropy, five senses, diminished capacity

Parenting --Teens: Loving, But Highly Overprotective Mom, deepest sympathy, old dad
Parenting --Teens: Loving, But Highly Overprotective Mom, deepest sympathy, old dad, exact situation

Parenting --Teens: Lying 13 year old, feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem
Parenting --Teens: Lying 13 year old, feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, lovable person

Parenting --Teens: lazy college student, english money, nice girls
Parenting --Teens: lazy college student, english money, nice girls, american kids

Parenting --Teens: how long do i ground my 13 year old darughter, good time, relationship
Parenting --Teens: how long do i ground my 13 year old darughter, good time, relationship

Parenting --Teens: At a loss with my 15 year old son., blame game, punishments
Parenting --Teens: At a loss with my 15 year old son., blame game, punishments, job

Parenting --Teens: lying and stealing, fetal alcohol effects, 8 years
Parenting --Teens: lying and stealing, fetal alcohol effects, 8 years, consequences

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, science homework, lack of respect
Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, science homework, lack of respect, two sisters

Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, anxiety disorder, learned behavior
Parenting --Teens: Moody 11 year old girl, anxiety disorder, learned behavior, anxieties

Parenting --Teens: Mother teen boy relationship?, instinct, dad
Parenting --Teens: Mother teen boy relationship?, instinct, dad, bad mother

Parenting --Teens: messed up 19-year-old son, phone computer, computer cable
Parenting --Teens: messed up 19-year-old son, phone computer, computer cable, trouble with the law

Parenting --Teens: moving out, real world
Parenting --Teens: moving out, real world

Parenting --Teens: My oldest son, lil brother, extreme change
Parenting --Teens: My oldest son, lil brother, extreme change, freak out

Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents., protective parents, marriage problems
Parenting --Teens: overprotective parents., protective parents, marriage problems, classmates

Parenting --Teens: Parental nudity, lewd acts, sex parents
Parenting --Teens: Parental nudity, lewd acts, sex parents, weird thing

Parenting --Teens: Parenting 2 boys, 16 and 19 unsuccessfully and how to deal with disappointments, pothead, best of luck
Parenting --Teens: Parenting 2 boys, 16 and 19 unsuccessfully and how to deal with disappointments, pothead, best of luck, car insurance

Parenting --Teens: Problems with my mother, family psychologist, coworker
Parenting --Teens: Problems with my mother, family psychologist, coworker

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Parenting-Teens-863/f/Punishment-2.htm


Parenting --Teens: How do I get my parents to let me grow up?, inapropriate, parents
Parenting --Teens: How do I get my parents to let me grow up?, inapropriate, parents

Parenting --Teens: My parents, home parents, compromise
Parenting --Teens: My parents, home parents, compromise, babies

Parenting --Teens: possessions, cheerful spirit, time don
Parenting --Teens: possessions, cheerful spirit, time don, stumbling block

Parenting --Teens: pregnant 19 year old, 5 months, stress
Parenting --Teens: pregnant 19 year old, 5 months, stress, god

Parenting --Teens: problems with my 13 year old daughter, diary
Parenting --Teens: problems with my 13 year old daughter, diary

Parenting --Teens: Relational aggression, counselor, adults
Parenting --Teens: Relational aggression, counselor, adults

Parenting --Teens: Sexually active teen, speculum exam, invasion of privacy
Parenting --Teens: Sexually active teen, speculum exam, invasion of privacy, few more years

Parenting --Teens: My Situation, control freak, bully
Parenting --Teens: My Situation, control freak, bully, good luck

Parenting --Teens: Skipping School, right choice, consequence
Parenting --Teens: Skipping School, right choice, consequence

Parenting --Teens: Step-son dating, control moves, gambling game
Parenting --Teens: Step-son dating, control moves, gambling game, jeopardy

Parenting --Teens: How to stop lying..., false sense, best wishes
Parenting --Teens: How to stop lying..., false sense, best wishes, habit

Parenting --Teens: Teen phone time, safe sex, boyfriends
Parenting --Teens: Teen phone time, safe sex, boyfriends, condoms

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Boy - Addictive Relationship, Sex, okey, girlfriend
Parenting --Teens: Teenage Boy - Addictive Relationship, Sex, okey, girlfriend, teenagers

Parenting --Teens: Teenage boys and sleepovers, smoking pot, sleepovers
Parenting --Teens: Teenage boys and sleepovers, smoking pot, sleepovers, priveleges

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter: curfew + consequences, joni, encouragement
Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter: curfew + consequences, joni, encouragement, mama

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter and Dating, love
Parenting --Teens: Teenage Daughter and Dating, love

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter/dating/sneaking out, concrete rules, garbage cans
Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter/dating/sneaking out, concrete rules, garbage cans, diane gordon

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter's GED party, accomplishment, different path
Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter's GED party, accomplishment, different path, ged

Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter sneaking out, teenage daughters, counseling
Parenting --Teens: Teenage daughter sneaking out, teenage daughters, counseling, freedom

Parenting --Teens: Teenage Son - Girlfriend has him "trapped", enough rope, hell hath no fury
Parenting --Teens: Teenage Son - Girlfriend has him "trapped", enough rope, hell hath no fury, mutual friends

Parenting --Teens: Teenage sister and my husband, video tapes, video camera
Parenting --Teens: Teenage sister and my husband, video tapes, video camera, old man

Parenting --Teens: Troubled 18 year old
Parenting --Teens: Troubled 18 year old

Parenting --Teens: Troubled Teen, many young adults, personal failure
Parenting --Teens: Troubled Teen, many young adults, personal failure, long don

Parenting --Teens: Troubling behaviors from our teen son, beautiful son, play station
Parenting --Teens: Troubling behaviors from our teen son, beautiful son, play station, young man

Parenting --Teens: teen daughter's boyfriend is a thief, pathological liar, thief
Parenting --Teens: teen daughter's boyfriend is a thief, pathological liar, thief, 10 years

Parenting --Teens: teen pregnancy in georgia, adult
Parenting --Teens: teen pregnancy in georgia, adult

Parenting --Teens: teen punishments, working on your relationship, pat answers
Parenting --Teens: teen punishments, working on your relationship, pat answers, parents

Parenting --Teens: teen son stealing from me, safe deposit box, things in time
Parenting --Teens: teen son stealing from me, safe deposit box, things in time, valuables

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter acting out and depressed, stress unit, smoking cigarettes
Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter acting out and depressed, stress unit, smoking cigarettes, tomorrow morning

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter getting closer to having sex with undesirable boyfriend, hinges, grapevine
Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter getting closer to having sex with undesirable boyfriend, hinges, grapevine, parents

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter who is out of control, solo parent, teen girls
Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter who is out of control, solo parent, teen girls, alot

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter, problems at home, safe home
Parenting --Teens: teenage daughter, problems at home, safe home, 17 years

Parenting --Teens: teenage daughters, best friend, adult adults
Parenting --Teens: teenage daughters, best friend, adult adults, perfect mother

Parenting --Teens: My teenage son is angry and has left home, single parent, dad
Parenting --Teens: My teenage son is angry and has left home, single parent, dad, male characters

Parenting --Teens: teenage son cell phone use, scurge, socialization
Parenting --Teens: teenage son cell phone use, scurge, socialization, medical director

Parenting --Teens: teenage son is having sex, good chance, having sex
Parenting --Teens: teenage son is having sex, good chance, having sex, parents

Parenting --Teens: Should I throw my son out for smoking pot?, ing nuts, freak out
Parenting --Teens: Should I throw my son out for smoking pot?, ing nuts, freak out, beach at night

Parenting --Teens: When is it time to let them stand and fall?, bj, prayers
Parenting --Teens: When is it time to let them stand and fall?, bj, prayers, warrant

Parenting --Teens: undisciplined 15 year old, best route, military school
Parenting --Teens: undisciplined 15 year old, best route, military school, little brother

Parenting --Teens: Way too overprotective or non trusting parents?, sleepovers, parents
Parenting --Teens: Way too overprotective or non trusting parents?, sleepovers, parents

Parenting --Teens: i want to have a baby, google, parents
Parenting --Teens: i want to have a baby, google, parents, losing your virginity

Parenting --Teens: I feel so uneducated, child psychologist, professional parent
child psychologist, professional parent, physical evaluation: Hi Scarlett, You seem to have too much experience as a parent to be an inadequate parent, so let s rule that out. However, until you have some good evaluations, it s difficult to rule out other reasons why your daughter might be so difficult. You mentioned...

Parenting --Teens: Why do I feel like this?, overwhelming despair, two choices
overwhelming despair, two choices, terible: Many people feel guilty about things because they don t undertand that there is a bigger picture and there actually is a time for someone to go and nothing anyone can do will change it. For reasons that we cannot understand things happen that are beyond our...

Parenting --Teens: fighting, scout leader, teens face
scout leader, teens face, good relationship: Dot, I would say that something is amiss with you son. Yes there are challenges teens face, but they don t usually tend to act these challeges out in violent ways. It would seem that he is potentially struggling with something that he doesn t know how to...

Parenting --Teens: fighting, sibling rivalry, toy book
sibling rivalry, toy book, long periods: Hi Joe~ It s not uncommon for children to fight with each other. Sibling rivalry can be a good thing believe it or not. As long as the fight or situation doesn t get out of control, you can let your children work it out, if possible. If it starts to...

Parenting --Teens: finding out about a friend's child's sexual activity, 15th birthday, s child
15th birthday, s child, sexual activity: Dear Joyce, The girl s mom wanted to know how to get into the daughter s account/site and look around. Just tell her how to do that, or show her how...SHE wanted to know. You can then just keep quiet and let her find out for herslef. If she asks for your...

Parenting --Teens: first time punishment for breaking something, list of household chores, yu gi oh
list of household chores, yu gi oh, raising kids: B Maloney, Child-rearing is the toughest job in the world. The trouble is, there are no perfectly right or wrong answers. Nothing, no technique or rule works everytime. The only thing that is always needed is love, and lots of it. The first question...

Parenting --Teens: fix mistake regarding lying, core pornography, sleeping dogs
core pornography, sleeping dogs, drug addict: Dear Doug: You asked, Do you think that there is any thing here worth going back and trying to fix? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie? Your 14 yr old son didn t buy your explanation. Children see through lies, the only one who is convinced of...

Parenting --Teens: forbidding my16.5 yr old daughter from boyfriend, unhealthy relationship, alcoholic father
unhealthy relationship, alcoholic father, going to college: Hello Sherri, Of course, you know the risks of doing either. If you try to keep them apart, they are angry with you and try harder to get back together. If you allow them to date, then you have to watch her suffer from what sounds like an unhealthy relationship....

Parenting --Teens: General Question, using tampons, female presence
using tampons, female presence, personal preference: As to when to start using tampons, it really is a matter of personal preference and comfort levels. The younger a girl is, the less likely she is to be comfertable using them. I would strongly suggest that you have a female friend or relative be avaible to...

Parenting --Teens: General Teenage Question, monthly period, tampons
monthly period, tampons, tampon: i prefer tampons in the morning and paads at night (when im in bed) so i guess its what u feel comfortable with my sis hates tampons but not using them limits her to things such as goin swimming so there are disadvantages i guess its what you are comfortable...

Parenting --Teens: Girlfriend smokes, drinks, raped, and cusses like a sailor, special person, good person
special person, good person, do the right thing: Seth, you re a wonderful young man for loving someone so deeply, especially someone who has been through so much. Most people have probably given up on her, and she is very fortunate to have someone like you in her life. The reality is you can t control...

Parenting --Teens: Good Daughter / Bad Choice, billy goat, low self esteem
billy goat, low self esteem, bright kids: Dear Shannon, This paragraph just jumped out at me as I read your email. She explained to us in the form of a letter that it made her feel alive and sexy and she loved the ATTNETION she had been receiving and that finally, upperclassmen (boys) were...

Parenting --Teens: Granddaughter, james windell, juvenile court judge
james windell, juvenile court judge, county juvenile court: Hello Sheila, If your daughter and her teenager live in the U.S., there is plenty your daughter can do. In fact, the school district they live in already should be doing something. In every state, a child must attend school until they are 16. If a minor...

Parenting --Teens: ghostly experience, ghostly experience, rational approach
ghostly experience, rational approach, kay: Dear Sharon, Telling her to not be afraid is not going to do the trick. Ask her what she needs to feel safe sleeping in her room. Engage her in solving the problem herself. Ask her questions about what she believes can be done to make her feel safe in...

Parenting --Teens: girlfriends in the bedroom????, first kiss, interupting
first kiss, interupting, answer the phone: My internet has been down since 11/02/04 so I didn t get your letter until this minute! I m so sorry, and I hope I m not too late and that your son hates you forever or feels like you are too strict. You re not. You just misunderstood the rule! Oh, boy,...

Parenting --Teens: grades in school, guidance counselor, good sense of humor
guidance counselor, good sense of humor, part time job: He might need a tutor to help with certain subjects that he is having problems with. There are places that you enroll your son in for help in subjects and it most likely will help him. Find out what subjects and go from there. Even ask his guidance counselor...

Parenting --Teens: My grandson age 12 rule breaking, ski tows, son shane
ski tows, son shane, health asthma: Chella, Mike sounds like a kid that is hungry for connection. He may be involved in a lot of sports, but it doesn t sound like he gets a lot of deep one on one connection with people. He needs to be able to see how his behavior harms others. This is done...

Parenting --Teens: grounding, age of reason, good person
age of reason, good person, apologies: Andy, Thanks for writing. My apologies for the lag time in getting back to you. First, i think it s great you are reaching out and adding to your language in your email, it shows your maturity. Let me handle one thing really quickly...it s NEITHER...

Parenting --Teens: I have all the guts, but he gets all the glory!, principals office, steep fall
principals office, steep fall, disruptive behavior: Dear Ana, I think you are doing the best you can, and that you are a really good mom...stick to what you do. I know this is frustrating for you, but she will see this and understand it someday. But maybe you can also get additional help from James Windell...

Parenting --Teens: Hate our New House, military brat, police incident
military brat, police incident, stress levels: Arlene, I think you made a very wise decision and I commend you for it. Growing up a military brat, I moved roughly every 3 years. The shortest I lived in one place was 6 months, SO I can understand very much how your children feel about the move. Its natural...

Parenting --Teens: HELP SO MUCH DISRESPECT, good kid, disrespect
good kid, disrespect, freind: Hello Josie, No parents like the disrespect they often get from their children. It leads us to feel like a failure as a parent. And, in addition, it makes us view our child as ungrateful for what we ve done for them. There are two basic ways of dealing...

Parenting --Teens: HELP, roller coaster ride, pulling teeth
roller coaster ride, pulling teeth, storage unit: Hello, I can t answer the question as to why your son is like this. But many older teens seem stuck and unable to move forward to be productive. However, since he is not willing to help out or be responsible, then he should be on his own. I suspect that...

Parenting --Teens: Hello!!, james windell, good friend
james windell, good friend, jealousy: Hello Shavani, It sounds like you are a nice person who tries to be a good friend. However, your friend is hurting you. And you need to let her know you can no longer be her friend if she continues to do some of the things she is doing. You can tell her...

Parenting --Teens: Help with our 19 year old son!!!!! PLEASE, trouble in school, curfew
trouble in school, curfew, rest of your life: Hello Susanna, Even if your son is not prepared to live on his own, he is doing just that. And even if he comes back home, how much longer is he going to live at home? Maybe a couple of years at most. But, presumably you ll be spending the rest of your life...

Parenting --Teens: Help!! With GCSE - How to act as a rebellious teenager., hellfire and damnation, rebellious teenager
hellfire and damnation, rebellious teenager, curse words: This is interesting...I have a daughter who is an actor, so I m used to this...unfortunately for you, she was never rebellious. Hmmmmm. You are female, so I need to approach it from that side. You could probably use something physical, too. OK. Here...

Parenting --Teens: Help for my son, temper tantrums, ordinary things
temper tantrums, ordinary things, finding a therapist: Sharon, When someone tells me they have tried something it usually means something was not done consistently for a long period of time. Strictness is needed but a relationship in conjucntion with that discipline is needed as well. I don t know if you have...

Parenting --Teens: Help with teen daughter, new crowd, teen daughter
new crowd, teen daughter, natural blonde: Dear Barb, Something is wrong here. A dramatic change in events is definitely a sign something is wrong. When you say she doesn t want to be pretty anymore this jumped out at me. I don t mean to alarm you and yet I feel I must put this out there. We...

Parenting --Teens: how do I handle my 16 yr old who has depression?, high achievers, tight group
high achievers, tight group, step at a time: Hello Kathy, I think you understand that it does take time. The biggest, most pressing issues often don t get addressed in the first session. Give it a few weeks, then I m sure they will be talking about the topics that are most important in your son s life....

Parenting --Teens: How should I handle this?, cigarettes, shelves
cigarettes, shelves, invasion: LC, You are the parent! Your job is to make sure your daughter is on track doing the right thing. She should have no privacy. That is a foolish idea that has been propagated from the 60 and 70 s. You are not a friend who should be worrying about whether...

Parenting --Teens: headphones, laura beth, medical studies
laura beth, medical studies, loud music: Well, Laura Beth... The good news is there are safe ways for you to use your headphones and not harm your hearing. The bad news (well, it s not really bad news...it s just going to seem that way to you because it doesn t further your cause) is that there...

Parenting --Teens: help!!!, local support group, roller coaster ride
local support group, roller coaster ride, rehab professionals: Dear SA: My point to you is that he didn t finish up with AA and the meetings. Alcoholism is not something he will get over like a cold. This is a lifelong program he is not a graduate of AA. There is no graduation. As a substance abuse professional everything...

Parenting --Teens: help me with my 13 yr od, james windell, lengthy conversations
james windell, lengthy conversations, relationship between parent and child: Hello Cecilia, I don t think punishment is the answer in this situation. Generally, I ve found over several decades of working with children and teens that when a child is stealing from parents and family members it indicates a problem in the relationship...

Parenting --Teens: help!, full time job, abusive mother
full time job, abusive mother, prospective husband: So, what you are saying is that your prospective husband has graduated from college, has a full-time job with enough income to buy a home and care for you and a child, correct? You didn t say anything about your baby, and this concerns me, because as...

Parenting --Teens: help me let go, true success, hardest thing
true success, hardest thing, adulthood: Dear Jeff: Yes this is the hardest part of parenting any parent has to come to terms with and the good news is you are aware of what is happening! So many parents cling harder or choose to ignore their child in revenge. Acknowledge your pain and also...

Parenting --Teens: How to help college student, heart to heart talk, control freaks
heart to heart talk, control freaks, meeting new friends: Liz, He is an adult so what he ends up deciding is what goes. I would suggest you sit with him only and let him know your concerns and what you will need to do if he doesn t take his school seriously. You paying for him is not required. It is actually a gift...

Parenting --Teens: help for nephew, search teams, smart kid
search teams, smart kid, gym teacher: Jesse, You first need to acknowledge that your sister is screwing up big time. It is very obvious that Kyle is in pain and the only way he can let people know is by doing the things that he is doing. Kyle needs two things. Structure and parental figures that...

Parenting --Teens: help with my teen, teen behavior, sweet girl
teen behavior, sweet girl, multiple times: Dear Anna: Talk and listen. I can t help but wonder if she isn t hanging around an experienced 14 year old for two reasons. 1. She is curious and 2. maybe she feels for her friend. A 14 year old having sex is doing so because she was introduced to...

Parenting --Teens: help, james windell, 14 years old teen
james windell, 14 years old teen, dear son: Hello Aurax, I think most of us parents would like to teach our children how to avoid mistakes in life. But being a parent is not just about giving advice and telling children how to avoid problems. It s important, first, to be a parent who is a role...

Parenting --Teens: high expectations, positive reinforcement, perfectionism
positive reinforcement, perfectionism, new territory: Julielani: I have to assume you are talking about the 11 year old. Often children who have perfectionism standards become disheartened when things don t go the way they want them to and you will have a challenge in getting her to see things differently....