About Experts Sitemap - Group 40 - Page 8 2015-03-03

Parenting Stepchildren: lying, divorce decree, visitation time
divorce decree, visitation time, hands up in the air: Shelley...This is really a tough situation...I know that you see the efforts your husband is going through to see his children. The issue here is not the children lying, it is the whole situation. The children are just reacting to the hurt they are feeling...

Parenting Stepchildren: Resentment about special needs stepdaughter's visitation schedule, independent adults, maturity level
independent adults, maturity level, higher each time: Brenda... I will be blunt. The problem of your resentment is yours to deal with. You seem to have built of a justification of why she should not stay with you. If your husband is having her come and then putting all of the responsibility for her care...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Children, step daughters, protective mother
step daughters, protective mother, previous life: What comes to me very clearly is the intensity of your feelings about your step daughters. I also hear a very protective mother looking out for her child. The fact is that as long as you are married to your husband, these children will be part of your life....

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-daughter issues, old baby girl, mom cause
old baby girl, mom cause, little devil: Martha...Thank you for writing. I feel that you are really concerned about your step daughter. The first thing to remember is that this is a little girl who has been abandoned by her mom. She has gone through a lot of turmoil in her short life. She...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepfather/Stepdaughter problem, hysterectomy, pre teen
hysterectomy, pre teen, boundaries: April... I would suggest counseling. There seems to be more going on here than what you have described. He may be depressed, and not at all happy either with his job, with the lifestyle he is leading and it could even be his marriage to you. He could also...

Parenting Stepchildren: step children, childrens actions, stepdaughters
childrens actions, stepdaughters, stepchildren: Lisa... The responsibility of parenting the children is primarily his. I think that there are more issues behind why he does not want to talk about his children s behavior. There may be some guilt about putting his children through the stress and hardship...

Parenting Stepchildren: step daugher, biological mom, stepdaughter
biological mom, stepdaughter, biological mother: Mary Lou...I hope that just writing this all out has helped you feel better. You seem to have a lot of hurt and resentment over an number of issues that you talked about. You have been the real day-to-day mom, so whatever the bio mom says is just...

Parenting Stepchildren: I don't think I can do this anymore, cruel behavior, thoughts and feelings
cruel behavior, thoughts and feelings, needy child: Jennifer... I do not know what kind of behavior.. is it one that can physically harm your son, or cause emotional damage? If it is then you must protect your son. How do you like a child that you can not stand.. well first you need to change how you are...

Parenting Stepchildren: Manipulative Step child, disney land, nice restaurant
disney land, nice restaurant, rediculous: Lucinda... a 5 year old can be a handful at the best of times. But she is only 5 years old. You are a new parental figure to her, and she is still testing things out. Think of what she is going through... the divorce of her parents, and now a new person...

Parenting Stepchildren: manipulative and a liar, nasty letter, rough life
nasty letter, rough life, facebook: Cathy... I am not going to sugar coat this for you...If you have been in the life of this girl since she was 3 months old then you have had an influence on the way she is now. And if you have been the only real parent in her life then you have had a major...

Parenting Stepchildren: STEP SISTER FIGHTING, step siblings, step sisters
step siblings, step sisters, step sister: Christine... it is hard to know what is going on between them from what you said in your question. Please remember that they are still children and that they both have gone through a lot of stress in their short lives. They have gone through the break up...

Parenting Stepchildren: Struggling with my husband and 4 yr old stepson, setting boundaries, stepson
setting boundaries, stepson, painful experience: Krissy... I can understand how you feel... the boy seems to be the source of conflict between your husband and you. First of all talk with your husband, and let him know how you feel. Tell him that you want to work together on the rules and boundaries in your...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren, asking the right question, new girlfriend
asking the right question, new girlfriend, dirty clothes: Nicolaas...I am not sure if you are asking the right question. I believe there is a deeper issue here that you must deal with. First about the soap... if your son has dirty clothes and you want to make sure that he can have clean clothes, either you have...

Parenting Stepchildren: ungrateful step daughter, negative feelings, step daughter
negative feelings, step daughter, facebook: Jennie...As an adult she makes the decision about whom she keeps in contact with. Does your husband call her, or send her birthday cards? If he is doing that then there are some issues that she needs to deal with. Perhaps she is upset that your husband...

Parenting Stepchildren: Am I too young for this?, educational gap, righteous rage
educational gap, righteous rage, flight of stairs: B... I believe that you know the answer to your question already. Look inside and listen to that quiet little voice that speaks to you. I see that higher education is a really important part of your life. I also see the strong resentment in you towards...

Parenting Stepchildren: 12 year old won't listen, daily chores, natural consequences
daily chores, natural consequences, home situations: Suzanne....It is around this age that children start to rebel against most rules. The environment around the home, peer groups in school, the TV shows they watch, the video games they are allowed to play, the food they eat all contribute to this and can influence...

Parenting Stepchildren: Emtionally dependent daughter, dependent daughter, work concern
dependent daughter, work concern, dominant personality: Camilla... yes I would have to agree with you that there are issues here that could be of concern. It sound to me that you are correct in thinking there is a co-dependency relationship between father and daughter. From what you have said and from past experience,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Feeling Used, old fool, relationship work
old fool, relationship work, time energy: You already know the answer to you question...you said it in you subject feeling used . You are being used. This does not seem like a very healthy relationship for you. You said that your health has suffered due to working full time, looking after the...

Parenting Stepchildren: Help for emotionally abused step mother:, marriage counselor, signs of depression
Parenting Stepchildren: Help for emotionally abused step mother:, marriage counselor, signs of depression, stepdaughters

Parenting Stepchildren: Overbearing stepfather
Parenting Stepchildren: Overbearing stepfather

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchildren, different child, drug abuser
Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchildren, different child, drug abuser, s child

Parenting Stepchildren: Help for emotionally abused step mother:, step parents, bad feelings
step parents, bad feelings, biological parents: Dee... here is one link for Step Parent support. http://www.stepfamilies.info/ You can also look up on the internet for more local onesI do not know if this will be what you are looking for. It is based out of Oregon in the USA but it has some really...

Parenting Stepchildren: Help...lost, midnight weekends, term relationship
midnight weekends, term relationship, playing games: Lori...a 12 year old is going through many changes. And to be looked after is one thing they do not want, but really need. All children want boundaries and to feel that they are valued. Why does dad spend so much time away from home? One night a week...

Parenting Stepchildren: Overbearing stepfather, morals and values, immature comments
morals and values, immature comments, strict father: Shel... It sounds like you have been a great mom to your daughter. From what you said, it does sound like he has control issues. I agree with you that you should be the one to be the bad guy and that he should try to build a positive relationship with...

Parenting Stepchildren: resentful stepmom, step mom, visitation schedule
step mom, visitation schedule, weekend holiday: Macel...Yes I feel that you have let yourself be used. I do feel that your desire to be a good wife and step mom is being used by the ex, and your husband is not being supportive of your needs. There is a two letter word that is best used in this situation....

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Parenting, productive marriage, barber training
productive marriage, barber training, cereal bowl: Brian...your question is can we still have a happy and productive marriage . I believe you already know the answer to that question and only you can make that decision for you. Here are two issues I see from your email. First, there is a big difference...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchildren, peaches and cream, sugar coat
peaches and cream, sugar coat, s young: Tasha... as I read your letter I was seeing a much older child, until the last sentence. You seem to be taking this behavior personally. It is not about you. Let me repeat this...it is NOT about you. Three year old children can be difficult at the best...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult stepchildren will not speak to me, adult stepchildren, loo roll
adult stepchildren, loo roll, good relationship: Sharon, darling, this paranoid feeling is very natural for anyone in an abusive relationship. It is a survival feeling, a feeling that one should tread very carefully & act decisively, while being extraordinarily alert. This, of course, is exhausting, &...

Parenting Stepchildren: How do I get my blended family to get along?, couple need, daughter lives
couple need, daughter lives, friend son: Wow quite a situation. I would suggest holding a family meeting and let everyone express how they feel. Prior to that you and your boyfriend need to get on the same page. After all the kids, or at least one or maybe they take turns are manipulating you and...

Parenting Stepchildren: blending values, jot down, own clothes
jot down, own clothes, stepdaughters: Oh, dear, Brad! You really are in a fix! I understand how chaotic & unsettling this can make family life. You have correctly identified the underlying problem as a matter of differing values, & I appreciate your ability to see beyond the particular manifestation...

Parenting Stepchildren: children not getting along, parental alienation syndrome, peace maker
parental alienation syndrome, peace maker, joint custody: Kristina, my dear, please do not alter your schedule of seeing one another to accommodate this child s unnecessary & ugly behaviours. He is most likely exposed to PAS on some level, which can make children act quite badly when they are with the other parent,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Ex doesnt want me to participate in any kid functions with her daughter, parental alienation syndrome, consistent presence
parental alienation syndrome, consistent presence, step daughters: Oh, Melissa, my heart goes out to you. You have braved some very strong storms in StepLand. I am very pleased to hear that your hubby is committed to & supportive of your continued involvement in his daughter s life. The continuity & certainty that this...

Parenting Stepchildren: financial responsibility for stepchildren, child support worksheet, exact issue
Parenting Stepchildren: financial responsibility for stepchildren, child support worksheet, exact issue, biological parents

Parenting Stepchildren: financial responsibility for stepchildren
Emily, my dear, I am swamped right now with questions, & this one is so very important! Jeepers! You poor dear! You must just be right up a tree over this! Here are some quick links that will give you accurate, correct, & true legal information & access...

Parenting Stepchildren: Grumpy Step Children, primal scream, grumpiness
primal scream, grumpiness, boys ages: Linda, my dear, I can only imagine the stress from your stepsons grumpiness on your family & on your primary relationship with your hubby! Oh, you poor dear! I am put in mind of the tagline for that old V-8 Juice advert, Oh, I could have had a V-8 ; only...

Parenting Stepchildren: help my new step child will not respect me, home laminate, kids having fun
home laminate, kids having fun, mommy daddy: Step #1: Plan with Your Wife As a Parenting Team Talk with your lovely wife about setting down some inviolable, firm, clear boundaries for the children, including consequences for not following the rules. Draw up a list of clearly articulated rules from...

Parenting Stepchildren: not interested in getting close to newly connected 18 yr old step daughter, thanks letter, step mom
thanks letter, step mom, one of the girls: Oh, Cher, my dear, you are most certainly not a bad person at all! Your guts are telling you No for a very, very good reason. This is the very same messy dynamic that can happen when adult adopted persons find their real parents. As you can see,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Child in Our Bed, disagreements, hubby
disagreements, hubby, disagreement: Dear Lee, please do not consider yourself The Bad Guy! Oh, it is difficult to avoid believing that characterization, when your beloved, your primary partner is casting you in that role to avoid the discomfort of having to change something b-i-g in his own...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaugter who manipulates, time dad, happy home
time dad, happy home, stepdaughter: Wow. Sounds like she s upset about something. She may be jealous about having to share her dad with you or resent him for being a more full time dad to your kids. I m guessing they need to improve their relationship together and that discussing you should...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter, peas carrots, honey man
peas carrots, honey man, biological child: Oh, Erica, my dear, I do feel your pain! Ugh! It is true for many stepmommies that emotional alienation seems to be part of the StepLand Welcome Packet. It need not be so, my dear. Really. Did your honey*man actually say to you skin her alive ?! Jeepers....

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter, east ender, sleeping pills
east ender, sleeping pills, sarcastic comments: Oh, my dear Rita, I am so sorry that you are going through this with your stepdaughter. Bless your heart. First of all, you are not common. It takes an uncommon woman to be a stepmommy, even in the best of circumstances. (I realize that I am playing...

Parenting Stepchildren: Horrible Step-Daughter, step daughter, nasty things
step daughter, nasty things, disrespect: Dana, my dear, you are in a terrible spot right now, & my heart is with you. I do understand. Most of what you are relating is perfectly dead common in StepLand. This does not minimize the suffering that results from the poor boundary recognition, lack...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriends Daughter, temper tantrums, self sufficiency
temper tantrums, self sufficiency, self confidence: Janine, my dear, this really must be a trial for you. I can see from your query that you are frantic with concern, & yet you speak kindly to your boyfriend about his daughter s development. Like many bio-daddies, your sweetheart is more than a little resistant...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriends daughter, honey man, deepside
honey man, deepside, compassionate place: Marianne, my dear, congratulations on your lovely relationship! It sounds like you ve truly found a gem of a fellow, & I am delighted for you. You have truly gone above & beyond with his daughter, my dear. You do deserve high praise for your efforts,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Should I call my stepson's mom on the carpet?, tumultuous relationship, stepson
tumultuous relationship, stepson, inappropriate message: Darling, mea culpa for the wait for this reply! Holiday weekends will do that from time to time. I do hope that the following will help you to find a solution to this difficulty that will suit you & your goals right down to the ground. Here it is: Oh,...

Parenting Stepchildren: How do I parent a full-time stepchild?, full custody, stepdaughters
full custody, stepdaughters, stepdaughter: Jennifer, my dear, I am sad that you are having such a time of it with your stepdaughter! Goodness gracious, girl, that s a handful that no one should have to tolerate. Not that it will make you feel one eensy*weensy better, I should tell you that this...

Parenting Stepchildren: My role as a step mom., step mom, success steps
step mom, success steps, kim kim: Kim, my dear, you are not being too rigid or unreasonable at all! Please know that. Children need boundaries, & good boundary recognition is one of the hallmarks of a well-adjusted, well-bred person, as we all know. All of us, that is, except for...

Parenting Stepchildren: Spoiled soon to be stepdaughter, parenting styles, single mother
parenting styles, single mother, back seat: Stephanie, darling, my heart is with you. I would like to lead in by saying that the entire crisis that loving, committed stepmommies like you experience in StepLand is artificially generated by outmoded societal standards & a series of unfortunate events...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepmother and young children, wife relationship, share custody
wife relationship, share custody, mother figure: Michael, my dear, I hear you! Bless your heart for posing this query! I will answer this in full within the next day, but for now, please know that what I am seeing right off the blocks is PAS, with you & your lovely new bride as the targets for alienation....

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter, full custody, stepson
full custody, stepson, younger daughter: Amanda, darling, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. Trust me, I do understand, & there is a way for you to feel better about your life, to continue your marriage, & to even get your woefully misguided hubby to see the many benefits of truly parenting...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepson, physiological imbalances, medal of honour
physiological imbalances, medal of honour, family journey: My dear Jenny, you deserve a medal of honour! Goodness gracious, child, how have you stood it for 5 years?! Bless your golden heart! There are several basic factors which tend to yield this unfortunate result: * counterproductive perceptions, views,...

Parenting Stepchildren: My 14yr girl and boyfriend don't get along, attitude change, step dad
attitude change, step dad, current boyfriend: Candace... I can understand your partner feeling that your daughter does not appreciate what he has done to welcome her and give her a home. From what you are describing your daughter seems to be going through some serious pain. Consider what has happened...

Parenting Stepchildren: Cohabiting Couple Discipline Issues With Her College Age Son, discipline issues, economic responsibility
discipline issues, economic responsibility, financial contributions: Don... there are two phrases that you said above that I think are key. and makes me very angry I have grown frustrated talking to gf... These are your feelings. Only you can allow yourself to have those feelings. If you continue to hold these feeling...

Parenting Stepchildren: child boundaries etc, household chores, consistent guidance
household chores, consistent guidance, step mom: Robyn.. You do know what to do..clear, firm, respectful boundaries. Your husband, as the father, needs to be part of creating a safe environment for the children. Children need and want boundaries, even though they will resist. find a time for you time......

Parenting Stepchildren: Step son competing with me, step daughter, escape route
Parenting Stepchildren: Step son competing with me, step daughter, escape route

Parenting Stepchildren: my stepson's bio mom, pathelogical liar, medical procedures
Parenting Stepchildren: my stepson's bio mom, pathelogical liar, medical procedures, insight

Parenting Stepchildren: need help with relationship with stepson, rude behavior, kind word
rude behavior, kind word, stepson: Amanda... it is natural to want to have you soon to be stepson like you. And congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Think about what this little boy is going though. He has seen his parents split up, the negative way his mother is talking about...

Parenting Stepchildren: new stepparent, step mom, half sisters
step mom, half sisters, term relationship: Teresa ..I agree with you... that you have been married for 10 years, and that his daughter of that short term relationship has half sisters and or bothers and a step mom as well. If your husband is to be involved in that relationship with his daughter, then...

Parenting Stepchildren: Outcast, discipline structure, stepson
discipline structure, stepson, silent treatment: Outcast mom I am drawn to your statement I have help support this young man for 13 years of my life, I work full time, clean, cook, stay in great shape and yet I am sooo lonely If you have been in this family for 13 years the stepson was only 4 when...

Parenting Stepchildren: parenting step children, adequate nutrients, thyroid problem
adequate nutrients, thyroid problem, post traumatic syndrome: Tommy...First of all, your wife has gone through a lot with the way your describe her. I suspect that her bi-polar is really affecting the way she is feeling. She needs help with this. Our daughter had bipolar, and she was very difficult to understand (why...

Parenting Stepchildren: When parenting styles differ?, kay kay, homework cuz
kay kay, homework cuz, parenting styles: Hi Mona... from what you describe Kay does want to have control... and Dad lets her. Talk to Dad about how Kay needs guidelines and boundaries, because it will be increasingly more difficult with Kay as she moves through her teens. Children want boundaries......

Parenting Stepchildren: RE: partner doesn't understand children, nursery nurse, dinner times
nursery nurse, dinner times, shy child: Children need love... does it really matter who did what? If you look for something to criticize you will find it. Children will live up to what others expect of them. If he expects bad behavior he will get it. Children who are constantly criticized are...

Parenting Stepchildren: respons-ability, step kids, good relationship
step kids, good relationship, step mother: Children need format, and as parent it is our responsibility to give it to them. The link is http://fuseathome.com/FUSEsamples.php The outline of the meeting format(focus family activity)begins on page 4. There is also a video of our first lesson on that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-parenting an 18 year old abandoned by mother, emotional maturity, step parenting
emotional maturity, step parenting, step mom: Hi Lauren It sounds like you have really taken on a challenge. Our daughter (my stepdaughter), who was also 2 when her father let the house, also went through a phase at 16... for some reason this seems to hit them about that time. It sounds like you...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step son competing with me, converstations, resentment
converstations, resentment, child support: I think the real issue here is what you are feeling... Your sentence I have lots of resentment, his father works and pays no child support, I bust my ass working to support us and it isn t fair. These are your feelings... the more you have feelings of...

Parenting Stepchildren: my stepson's bio mom, mom and dad, facebook
mom and dad, facebook, stepson: It is up to the mom on what she shares, but it is reasonable to expect to be told about important things happening to Brayden. I suggest your husband ask politely to be told of important things happening in Brayden s life so that you can help him when he...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Step-children, husband problem, step kids, house husband
step kids, house husband, multiple life: It is great that you want to take your mother to the beach on a family vacation. If the step children have to pay their way, which is good as they are out on their own now, they may not come on the vacation. So invite the step children and see what happens....

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult step-child issue, adult step child, drugs
adult step child, drugs, lies: This first issue is the safety of your 11 year old child. A girl that has the history of what you describe would be a very bad influence on your son. The possibility of drugs in your house would be very high. She is 20 years old, and has not learn to...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult step child, adult step child, boy was trouble
adult step child, boy was trouble, common law wife: Sometimes it just takes a bit of time to smooth out issues between the two of you. 10 years is a long time to give up on too quickly on a relationship. Ask for a time to meet with her to discuss some of the issues in a non-judgmental way. Take the focus...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriends kids, play video games, playing video games
play video games, playing video games, seeing things: I will be blunt with you...It is obvious from you comments that you do not want to be a parent or step parent. I think your statement I can t put my weekends on hold just because he has them like he expects says much about your feelings. This says to...

Parenting Stepchildren: My daughter and my stepchildren, daughter jen, stepchildren
daughter jen, stepchildren, fiance: You sound like a very good dad. Children will divide and conquer. Although they really want to have the boundaries that help them feel safe they will still push those boundaries. It is very important for you and your fiance to present a common front. Talk...

Parenting Stepchildren: my daughter and her stepfather's relationship, screen doors, peace accord
screen doors, peace accord, step daughters: From what you said your daughter is hurting. She has been affected by some of the things in her life. At about the same age, a couple of my step daughters went through a hard time about the sense of abandonment by there father which had happened about 10...

Parenting Stepchildren: demonic step child, split personality, open invitation
split personality, open invitation, food guides: I agree with you the safety of your younger children is very important. If your husband sees that there are issues with the 12 year old boy then he should be taking steps to ensure that the home is a safe place for everyone. I would suggest family counseling....

Parenting Stepchildren: difficult dealings with step daughters and second husbands, step daughters, diverse family
step daughters, diverse family, studio 54: This seems to be more of a vent than an actual question. These feelings seem to be eating away at you. The first thing that I would suggest to you is to decide whether you want to feel these feelings. You have a choice... you own these feelings. No one...

Parenting Stepchildren: who disciplines in a stepfamily, parenting issue, legal source
parenting issue, legal source, custody rights: As grandmother, you have little say in how the children are step parented. If your son fears the children are being abused emotionally, have him document each time the children say something about it. Ask for specifics about what happened. If the mother...

Parenting Stepchildren: I don't like my 10yr old step-daughter, temper tantrums, artificial sweeteners
temper tantrums, artificial sweeteners, nutrient deficiencies: Sorry to take so long in answering back. The family meeting outline (family focused activity) is located here: http://fuseathome.com/FAH week 1.pdf The meeting outline starts on page 10 of the pdf I hope this helps. Remember it is doing things that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Evil Stepson, front teeth, childhood onset
front teeth, childhood onset, occation: I do not feel that I am qualified to give much advise on this issue. The biggest issue is the safety of your 4 children. Your children need to feel that their home is a place of safety. Do all you can to forgive the child because the resentment in you...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult step child, step mom, grants
Parenting Stepchildren: adult step child, step mom, grants, loans

Parenting Stepchildren: Evil Stepson, harms way, first priority
Parenting Stepchildren: Evil Stepson, harms way, first priority, parents

Parenting Stepchildren: Jealousy of step daughter, dad and daughter, step daughter
dad and daughter, step daughter, family time: The first step in getting past this is recognizing you have these feelings and the second step is desiring to change the feelings. So you are well on your way. In this situation, it is natural for a dad to want to share some time with his daughter, and...

Parenting Stepchildren: a poisoned step child, mom and dad, feelings from others
mom and dad, feelings from others, runaway bride: I noticed two statements you made in your email... I am terrified of having him at our wedding. I am getting sick just thinking about it! To me these indicate that you are under a lot of stress. Children are masters at picking up feelings from others....

Parenting Stepchildren: my rights as a step parent, school permission slips, social service organization
school permission slips, social service organization, child neglect: Please check this out with your local family social service organization. When you got married, you became a legal guardian of the children. As far as I know, as a guardian you have the right to sign school permission slips, and take children to the doctor....

Parenting Stepchildren: Two Stepdaughters and a bio daughter, household chores, affectionate relationship
household chores, affectionate relationship, clean slate: After 11 years, these patterns of behavior will be hard to change. Time out is almost never effective. It does not result in the behavior you want, and often increases the unwanted behavior. So now that Dad has witnessed and experienced the behavior,...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter placement issues, parenting issue, relationship issue
parenting issue, relationship issue, question of trust: I think that you are right in you last statement Maybe this is more of a relationship issue than a parenting issue . I believe there is a question of trust between your husband and you. You say he is keeping his text messages from you and telling you different...

Parenting Stepchildren: 4 yearl olds tantrums, parental alienation syndrome, counterproductive behaviour
parental alienation syndrome, counterproductive behaviour, physiological imbalances: Bright blessings to you, Sam! Bless your heart for patiently dealing with this nonsense. It s really too-too much for you to be expected to deal with this, & it s entirely unnecessary. Let s look at the possible causes of this counterproductive behaviour...

Parenting Stepchildren: Getting along as a family, household bills, pool toys
household bills, pool toys, playing video games: There are two sentences that I think reveal some important information to you. I am currently paying most of the household bills. I have purchased so much for the house and family to share including pool toys. To me, how you feel about you these...

Parenting Stepchildren: Bedtime, step mom, mother 2
step mom, mother 2, 7 months: Is 10 years old too old to sleep with parents? I would say that it depends. The girl has gone through a lot in the last while... not living with mom, a new step mom, and a new lifestyle with the new family. She probably needs reassurance, a feeling of being...

Parenting Stepchildren: Child, Father, Girl Friend, displays of affection, thoughts and feelings
displays of affection, thoughts and feelings, sole custody: Lee...If I am understanding this correctly he has left you because as you stated I asked for some form of displays of affection to make me feel i exist . I have only your side of the story, so that is all I can make suggestions about. First, and I am...

Parenting Stepchildren: clingy step-son, romantic feelings, age differences
romantic feelings, age differences, romantic ideas: It sounds like he has a crush on you. Boys at 10 can have these romantic ideas that to us may seem almost silly. (consider the age differences...you are just over half way between the father and son s ages). Talk with Dad and work together on this. Get...

Parenting Stepchildren: discipline of step children, negative punishment, step dad
negative punishment, step dad, changing behavior: Jason... the issue of spanking a child is one that is always being debated. Spanking is a negative punishment that assumes the child will dislike the spanking more the they like doing the behavior that resulting in the spanking. Often that is the case, but...

Parenting Stepchildren: Child, Father, Girl Friend, stepmother, upbringing
Parenting Stepchildren: Child, Father, Girl Friend, stepmother, upbringing, lunch

Parenting Stepchildren: Jealous Stepdaughter, mom and dad, step mom
mom and dad, step mom, great relationship: Kay... right now it would seem that you are in a no-win situation with the daughter. So step back from trying to win. First consider what has been happening in your step daughter s life. Her parents have broken up, she now has to deal with a new step mom,...

Parenting Stepchildren: His kids vs. my kids, workable solutions, stepchildren
workable solutions, stepchildren, untimely death: Courtney, my dear, I can only imagine the frustration & upset that this dilemma is causing you! I admire your ability to maintain a positive & joyful mindset in the midst of this melee! Phew! Attagirl! Fortunately, there is, indeed, a way out of this...

Parenting Stepchildren: problems with stepdaughter, biological mom, abuse victim
biological mom, abuse victim, biological mother: First of all please realize that you have no control over how your step daughter will turn out. Only she has control of how she is going to behave. At thirteen she already has much of her behavior patterns established, and will continue along the path that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step daughter/seperated, lazy smoke, buy cars
lazy smoke, buy cars, stepdaughter: I believe you mad the right choice. The safety of your daughters and the situations they are exposed to there are not good. Also, your husband seems to be lacking in responsibility towards his daughter. Also you are right not to join your accounts at...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-parenting, step parenting, random days
step parenting, random days, picky eater: First of all, consider how much this 6 year old has gone through in the last while. He is probably very insecure and feeling a bit lost in everything that is happening. And having a parent or parents that feel guilty and consequently let him get his way...

Parenting Stepchildren: step parenting, stick to your guns, step parenting
stick to your guns, step parenting, elderly home: It seems you needed a way of venting. I hope writing this has helped. As to what happens between your boyfriend and his ex in regards to their children, is up to your boyfriend. If he is willing to let her be as intrusive as you says she is, then that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Being a stepdad with the "ex" in the picture., step dad, step daughters
step dad, step daughters, precious child: First I want to tell you how wonderful it is that you can love this little boy as your own. As a step dad, I know exactly what you are feeling. I have gone through these feelings with my own step daughters. There are two things I can suggest to you. First,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Teen Stepdaughter's attentiveness to dad, gray hairs, sex pot
gray hairs, sex pot, biological children: My dear Sher... My heart is with you, girl! Goodness me, darling, how ever have you stood this for so long?! You re an epic hero! Phew! Let s get you some help, love, so that you can have the life that you so richly deserve! *hugs* We ll explore some...

Parenting Stepchildren: 28 yo Stepson Moved Back In, minimum wage job, empty nesters
minimum wage job, empty nesters, lunch hour: Kitgirl... I understand your sense of losing all aspects of your privacy after thirteen years of empty nesting. I also understand your wanting to help him, and wanting to believe in him. I also agree that there should be a time limit on his staying there....

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepson, blatant disregard, slamming doors
blatant disregard, slamming doors, deaf ears: Marlena... the more you try to force your step son, the more he will resist. This boy has learned that if he ignores the chores, or gets angry and starts yelling then goes to his room he will get out of doing them. When this is allowed to happen it is called...

Parenting Stepchildren: animal like behaviors in an 8 year old, hind legs, step daughter
hind legs, step daughter, somtimes: Meghan... this girls really needs her zone of comfort. Does she do this at school as well. If not then it is at home she feels comfortable enough to do this. Get some professional help for her. This behavior is signs of repressed feelings, possibly...

Parenting Stepchildren: dating a widower with a teenager, dating a widower, mother and daughter
dating a widower, mother and daughter, mother in law: Jody...think about the feelings that the daughter and the mother-in-law have and are going through. They lost a mother and daughter and if someone new comes into his life, then it would be like he is replacing his wife. But he has the right to look for...

Parenting Stepchildren: 28 yo Stepson Moved Back In, true sociopath, leeches
Parenting Stepchildren: 28 yo Stepson Moved Back In, true sociopath, leeches, stepson

Parenting Stepchildren: Lost in Translation, pathological liar, custody arrangement
pathological liar, custody arrangement, nut job: Camilla... I am confused about some things. I know that when you have a child together, you are connected to each other through that child. That can have many issues, and cause many problems. Why would this new custody arrangement affect your date nights?...

Parenting Stepchildren: re: tween, parent effectiveness training, candid comments
parent effectiveness training, candid comments, group children: Adam... you sound like a great dad. It is time to talk with your great gal and discuss appropriate behavior when you are together as a group. Children need and want boundaries, and they will push until they find them. So establish the limits you are comfortable...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Children & Ex Wife, picnic lunch, loving note
picnic lunch, loving note, parenting role: Leisa...It is very hurtful when you are put in the middle and used as the scapegoat for the bad feelings your partner s ex has for him. When parents criticize their ex in front of the children, they are putting the children into a difficult position. Remember...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step grandparenting?, super nanny, yr period
super nanny, yr period, child jane: Agnes... thank you for the information. It sounds like they have been working together to come to a solution. There are a few things I can suggest. First... nutrition. Some children do not do well on the typical North American diet. The typical meal...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchildren, temper tantrum, dealing with tantrums
temper tantrum, dealing with tantrums, boys point: Patricia... look at this situation from the boys point of view. He has gone through so many changes the cause a lot of hurt inside. From the sounds of it he needs attention. Give him more positive attention. Do some special things with him, show him that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughter/stepson, stepson, whoop
stepson, whoop, teenage years: Sandra... Yes I agree with you that if let run unchecked this behavior could mushroom and get worse. I have also observed that a parent can discipline their child, but when someone else does it they can get very defensive of their child. You said that you...

Parenting Stepchildren: step daughters, loud voices, christmas easter
loud voices, christmas easter, step daughters: Angela...Remember that these girls (and your son) have gone through a lot of a pain from their parents splitting up, having a new family setting complete with little brother, and new sets of expectations put upon them. With you living in the home, you...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepchildren, adult stepchildren, second marriage
adult stepchildren, second marriage, biological children: Gabrielle... since you are the one asking the question and I do not have the other side of the story, I will answer focusing on you. Here is a sentence you wrote my husband thinks he can still have the kids come to visit. I think that if she called the...

Parenting Stepchildren: How to accept my girlfriends kids, long distance relationship, same sex relationship
long distance relationship, same sex relationship, having such a hard time: V.C. ...I believe you already know the answer to your question. The children are a very important part of her life. If you do not like the children, then how would you deal with living with them all of the time. If you feel the relationship is worth it,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Egg shells, egg shells, pins and needles
egg shells, pins and needles, 12 year olds: Your son is going through a stage of being angry at who he thinks is responsible for the break up of the marriage. Often children, even adult children are not rational in their thinking. It is hurting him to see his dad not doing well, and he must feel that...

Parenting Stepchildren: follow up re adult children will not speak to me, family weddings, adult sons
family weddings, adult sons, dead wife: Sharon...I am going to be blunt with you. I always believe that it takes two to have an argument. And it takes two to make a marriage. I think you really need to look at this marriage. I understand that you love your husband. Destroying the picture of his...

Parenting Stepchildren: Mother vs Step-mother, birth mom, step mom
birth mom, step mom, valid concerns: I would say that you have some valid concerns. Can you get legal action against them? I do not know. Talk with your girls...reassure them that you are their birth mom, their real mom, and always will be, even when they are at daddy s house. When they...

Parenting Stepchildren: Parenting diferences., sense of guilt, indirect parent
sense of guilt, indirect parent, step daughter: I think it is great that you sat down and agreed on a way to deal with your step daughter. Most new step parent do not do this. It is difficult on families when someone is deployed. As a step parent I have learned that when you come into a step parent...

Parenting Stepchildren: semi step parenting, parenting technique, diva girl
parenting technique, diva girl, parenting techniques: Connie... I wanted to say and missed it... that you have demonstrated in what you said that you do have a good understanding of what it takes to be a good step mom, and the parenting ideas you talked about have shown a great wisdom and understanding. Your...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter issues, least three times, church men
least three times, church men, housework: Heather... There could be a number of reason for your step daughter to behave the way she does. But I can tell you one thing.... the more you focus on how hard it is or will be dealing with her the harder it will be to deal with her. First... think about...

Parenting Stepchildren: 10 year old partner’s son., quiet boy, mood swings
quiet boy, mood swings, new partners: David... it sounds like this boy is hurting a lot inside and would like to see his parents together again (most children do) He is willing to dislike anyone that gets close to either of his parents and will say and do almost anything to break up these new...

Parenting Stepchildren: 15 year old step-daughter with issues, chemical dependency issues, sole physical custody
chemical dependency issues, sole physical custody, weekend visitation: I agree with you that this situation is not safe. This girl needs professional help to deal with the thoughts and feelings she is having. She is really hurting inside. She is talking about suicide and talking about killing someone else and she is threatening...

Parenting Stepchildren: 2nd Husband v Child, strained relationship, emotional person
strained relationship, emotional person, soccer ball: I would highly suggest going to get some professional help. I agree that your son will be emotionally damaged by the constant negativity. You should be disciplining your son not your husband. It does not sound like there are fair and consistent rules...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriends daughter, great relationship, unpleasant situation
great relationship, unpleasant situation, great man: I think you will be a great parent as you seem to know what children need... boundaries and consequences. But you have a decision to make. First of all you can not solve this situation . You are the outsider in this situation. This is between father...

Parenting Stepchildren: boyfriend/daughter issues, last move, true hope
last move, true hope, old girl: You are right about not wanting to give her the power to control your relationship with your boyfriend. If she has already see professional about her behavior, then talk to them about how to deal with this situation. I do not have enough information,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Dealing with teenage stepchildren, definite rules, 16yr old
definite rules, 16yr old, hopeless situation: Chris... thank you for being a concerned father. It is really great the you want to be a positive force in your step daughter s life. You are new to the family... even if you have been going out for a year, you have just moved in and you are a new parental...

Parenting Stepchildren: Differing parenting styles for my kids vs step child, weekend dad, turning a blind eye
weekend dad, turning a blind eye, parenting style: Mary... I agree with you that boundaries and consequences are very important to children. This 8 year old seems to be in control of your partner, and that is putting a lot of responsibility on this boy. Your fiance must be feeling guilt over the divorce...

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficult sneaky jealous stepdaughter (thank you), homework book, little smile
homework book, little smile, physical fights: Abby... as you may know, making any kind of change can be difficult and stressful. Please seek out help as you need it. The are a number of articles on our blog that may be of help to you. Circle of Responsibility and Discipline in a Blended Family are two...

Parenting Stepchildren: Parenting 4 yr old step daughter with our own newborn daughter, cold and flu season, daycare
cold and flu season, daycare, cold and flu: Thank you for your response. I would definitely read the Circle of Responsibility. Think about why your step daughter is always sick. She probably has a lot of stress and poor nutrition. See if you can feed her good natural food (as little processing...

Parenting Stepchildren: Semi step parenting, step parenting, divorce
step parenting, divorce, step children : Hello Connie- Thank you for writing. It seems like you have several concerns here. To an extent, yes, parents should treat each of their children differently depending on their personalities. Each child will respond differently to various praises and...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-parenting hell, autism spectrum disorder, temper tantrums
autism spectrum disorder, temper tantrums, step parenting: Shelley... As I was reading this letter I got this sense that you already know what you need to do. There are some very deep issues here that I am not qualified to deal with. Dad does nothing yet his children are in what I would consider advanced states...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughter, juvenile delinquents, degree in psychology
juvenile delinquents, degree in psychology, baby voice: Hi Jessica- It seems like the children are going through a big change. Not only that, but their quality of life while living with their mother probably was not great. Most likely they suffered from neglect, and had to take care of themselves a lot. With...

Parenting Stepchildren: step, step parenting, second marriages
step parenting, second marriages, step children : Hi RJ- Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials! Often the child s mother feels threatened by the spouse, which can lead to behavior like this. Her behavior will not change most likely, but what can and needs to change is how you and your fiance react...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-children, unstable person, age of reason
unstable person, age of reason, trouble makers: This does not sound like a great situation to be in. No... you are not being immature, you are just letting this whole situation overwhelm you. There are some questions that you need to ask yourself. Are your own children at risk emotionally or physically?...

Parenting Stepchildren: being a stepmom for 13 yrs old girl, being a stepmom, immigration issues
being a stepmom, immigration issues, good relationship: Well you definitely have a decision to make. Only you can make it. Here are some things to consider: Most children want either to have their parents together or have the parent to themselves. 13 year old children want to push boundaries and test...

Parenting Stepchildren: Teenage Step Son wants only Alone time with Father, PAS, blended families
PAS, blended families, step children: Hi Pam- Have you ever heard the term Disneyland Dad ? This is where the father feels guilty and treats time at his house as a trip to Disneyland. There are no rules, they only do fun things, and cater to the child s every whim. What 13 year old wouldn...

Parenting Stepchildren: Blended Family Problems, blended family problems, private high schools
blended family problems, private high schools, great reputation: Again I stress that these are your feelings ( the relationship being one-sided). And you must deal with your feelings. When we put the responsibilities for our feelings on someone else we feel greater resentment. It was your choice to move to his home....

Parenting Stepchildren: Frustrating Stepfamily Dynamics, stepfamily, blended stress
stepfamily, blended stress, stepmother: Hi Stephanie - I am VERY familiar with your type of situation. I suspect you have an interactive set of normal stepfamily problems causing compound stress. I m guessing you and your husband studied little or nothing about stepfamily realities before marrying,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Help with situation needed, fire and brimstone, bath towels
fire and brimstone, bath towels, daughter claire: Allan This 12 year old girl is screaming for help. She would appear to have some really deep hurt inside. It sounds like she needs professional help to deal with her feelings. She needs boundaries and consistent consequences to her actions. But...

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband Moving out with his 22 year old daughter, large screen tv, private time
large screen tv, private time, cuddling: Diana It seems that your step daughter is the kind that will hand on for a few more years, allowing other to be responsible for her. It is not a question of if it is possible for her to move out. It is a question of how long you and your husband will...

Parenting Stepchildren: step daughter stealing, personal feelings, step parents
personal feelings, step parents, step daughter: Peggi This is not an easy situation for you. You are caught in a position where if you continue to push you may lose everything. Your husband is defending his child whether he believe she did it or not. This is a common reaction of bio parents against...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Parent Rights, joint legal and physical custody, asthma medication
joint legal and physical custody, asthma medication, medication changes: A step parent does have limited rights. You are right though, your husband needs to be able to give direction on your son s medical conditions when you are not available to do so. The best thing I can advise you to do is to write a letter to the school authorizing...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter of 17 years, abusive partner, stepdaughter
abusive partner, stepdaughter, record dates: Ian I am unable to give legal advice. Indeed you have little to no rights when it comes to your stepdaughter. Your stepdaughter could go to the local family services and explain her situation. She is very vulnerable in this situation, and I feel that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Abusive step son, biological mom, biological mother
biological mom, biological mother, homelife: You seem to be doing everything that you can do for this boy. He must have a lot of pent up anger inside. Keep him supplied with Truehope and if he does not take it at least you can and get some good results. You can put it into the food he eats, but that...

Parenting Stepchildren: blended families, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, discipline: Hi Sarah - it sounds like your 5yo stepdaughter (SD) is testing you to see (a) who s in charge, and (b) how much power you ll give her. She may also feel abandoned by her Dad, and be hurt/angry from that. It also sounds like she has some issues with her biomom...

Parenting Stepchildren: Coping with my boyfriends children, stepfamily, loyalty conflicts. realities
stepfamily, loyalty conflicts. realities, myths: Hello Karishma - your eloquent story is very familiar to me - in particular the internal conflict you feel about staying/quitting, and about disliking the hostility and jealousy you feel about your partner s relationship with his daughters (and ex?#. I...

Parenting Stepchildren: I just need a little time alone, thanksgiving eve, today is thanksgiving
thanksgiving eve, today is thanksgiving, extra curricular activity: Sherry You have a very busy life. My wife and I have 6 daughters between us. I know how busy the activities can be. Why have you assumed that you need to do all of the laundry, cooking and cleaning. Every one of these children are old enough to...

Parenting Stepchildren: Raising a stepchild, soapies, tv friends
soapies, tv friends, boundries: Meryl Children need firm , fair and consistent boundaries. What seems to be happening here is she is playing each of you against the other to get her way. She knows that if she puts up a fuss or goes to her father or granny she will get to do want she...

Parenting Stepchildren: vacation with stepchildren, stepfamily, vacation
stepfamily, vacation, priorities children: Hello Glenn - First suggestion - check to see that both of you fully acknowledge that you all are a normal STEPfamily: http://sfhelp.org/sf/id.htm Then read and discuss these articles on marital priorities and loyalty conflicts. http://sfhelp.org/relate/mates/priority.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: children and sleeping arrangements, stepfamily bedrooms conflicts kids sleeping values loyalties legality
stepfamily bedrooms conflicts kids sleeping values loyalties legality : Hi Eric - I m not a lawyer, and my guess is, there is nothing illegal in Mass. about the situation you describe. What is more likely is a complex values conflict between you stepfamily adults, and equally complex loyalty conflicts among the kids. I recommend...

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband uninvolved with stepson, smoke run, school coach
smoke run, school coach, teen children: Deanna Although you did not ask a question, I have some comments that my help. You probably feel better just getting this down in words. It is difficult seeing a man you care for not being able to relate to you child. I believe him when he says he does...

Parenting Stepchildren: Meddling ex and step-children, stepfamily, problems
stepfamily, problems, stepmother: Hello Kim. Your situation - tho unique in detail - is sadly common. You describe multiple concurrent problems: 1) You three or four adults (including your ex?) may not fully accept your u identity /u as a STEPfamily and what that identity i means /i...

Parenting Stepchildren: Partner's relationship with his ex, stepfamily, loyalty
stepfamily, loyalty, conflict: Hi Julie - The first step here is for you three adults to accept that because of the dad s relationship with you, you all are now a u step /u family. The next step is to face the reality that for his relationship with you to thrive, the dad MUST choose between...

Parenting Stepchildren: Teenage stepson, stepson, stepmother
stepson, stepmother, disrespect: Hello, Ally. From your description, I d say you have a re/marital problem, not a stepson problem. The implication is that your husband is not setting limits with his son about his disrespectful behavior to you. You have several options: 1) make sure your...

Parenting Stepchildren: Am I being unreasonable???, biological daughter, teen daughter
biological daughter, teen daughter, girls life: This girl is not the cause of your feelings and her relationship with your partner should not be put in the middle of you and your boyfriend. Accept that he cares for her and the he is important in her life whether the bio dad is in the picture or not. As...

Parenting Stepchildren: Blending families - when kids don't get along do we just do things separately?, socialization skills, separate vacations
socialization skills, separate vacations, blending families: Michele... read up on Aspergers syndrome. Lack of socialization skills and the desire to follow the same routine are characteristics. This young man has gone through many disruptions in his life routine and you and your son are just another disruption and...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfrien has said he loves me but cant get past the fact i have 2 kids, sum times, friens
sum times, friens, stepfather: Sara...I understand that this relationships seems to be great for you, but it does not seem to be great for him. The other thing YOU must be aware of is that you are responsible for your 2 children. They depend upon you. Do you really think that you can...

Parenting Stepchildren: Family time., family gatherings, susy
family gatherings, susy, wonderful woman: Jeff... I understand your concern. There is some information missing for me to give you a helpful answer. Is Susy the one planning the birthdays? If so then ask her why your are not invited, and how you can fit in better in the family. If you make it a...

Parenting Stepchildren: maintenance issue with my girlfriends kids, previous partners, maintenance issue
previous partners, maintenance issue, legal obligations: Hello Khan- Without knowing any other legal obligations you may have, if the children aren t yours, then you cannot be held responsible and required to support them now or in the future. It is up to you whether you will help support her children, or pay...

Parenting Stepchildren: only parent here, parenting styles, poor behavior
parenting styles, poor behavior, pet peeve: Andrea... it is not what you are doing wrong. My first advise to you is to step back and not be the heavy. Your husband is correct that he needs to be the one doing the discipline. I know that you two have different expectations of behavior in your house....

Parenting Stepchildren: Parenting Stepchildren, step parenting, livings arrangements
step parenting, livings arrangements : Hi Jami- It is hard to say when is the right time, as it is never the same for each couple. It seems to me that you and your boyfriend are acting responsibly, and taking things slow. I don t see anything wrong with officially donning the label of girlfriend...

Parenting Stepchildren: questioning parenting styles, parenting styles, parenting skills
parenting styles, parenting skills, biological parents: Linda... You are already doing what you can do. Talk with your husband, support him in what he is doing with his daughters, share some of your experiences as a parent, including your concerns about the direction his daughters are going, and the possible consequences...

Parenting Stepchildren: Ready to move out, heart to heart, husb
heart to heart, husb, disciplinarian: Tess ... first of all you do not have to assume the guilt in not doing better for your step daughter. You are not the one primarily responsible for her, your husband is. Think what this young girl has gone through. Her mother has abandoned her, and...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step daughter tantrums and mother's obstinacy, step parenting, Parental Alienation Syndrome
step parenting, Parental Alienation Syndrome: Hi Juli- It can be a very frustrating situation to see your stepdaughter behave this way. The main thing is to remember, this isn t her fault, as she is a product of her environment. You are doing the right thing by seeking legal counsel to see what your...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson Issues, lazy slob, water faucet
lazy slob, water faucet, pent up anger: Tammy...You sound like you have a lot of pent up anger and resentment and are about ready to explode. From what you have said you must feel that you have been taken advantage of for many years. Working full time and then coming home to 5 children, and all...

Parenting Stepchildren: soon to be step children, natural tendency, future step
natural tendency, future step, family outing: Sam... our natural tendency is to want our future step children to like us. We are very sensitive to their actions and what they say. Remember they are children and we are adults. We are the ones to set the example of how we want our children to behave....

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdaughter killing marriage, mental health issues, mental health problems
mental health issues, mental health problems, step daughter: Kate... I hear you loud and clear. This situation is not healthy for you. Talk with your psychologist about this, and the possibility of your husband coming with you so that he can understand how you are feeling and you can be supported by the psychologist....

Parenting Stepchildren: my stepson, stepson, home time
stepson, home time, jealousy: I am somewhat confused by your letter. Please be more specific about who you are talking about(you can use made up names if you want) and I do not know what you mean when you say i think allot of the fighting is caused from her jealousy because even she...

Parenting Stepchildren: My almost 15 y-o stepson, hick ups, teenage rebellion
hick ups, teenage rebellion, partial custody: Urszula...violent behavior is violent behavior and that he is a teen now and bigger and stronger, his behavior needs to be dealt with. This behavior sounds scary to me, and I would fear for both you and you daughter. He needs professional help. He need...

Parenting Stepchildren: 19 year old stepson with passive aggressive behavior, passive aggressive behavior, internet hours
passive aggressive behavior, internet hours, facebook: Unfortunately this issue is between Dad and children. It is best if you back away from this and let them work it out. As the step parent, your role is to encourage your spouse to deal with the situation, even if you feel you can get in there and help. ...

Parenting Stepchildren: 21 year old stepchild / recovering acoholic, school chores, family coach
school chores, family coach, drugs and alcohol: Picho - This person is an adult and should be expected to be act like an adult. I do not think your expectations are too high. Be conscious of your approach to this as it is possible that mom is feeling sorry for her son and the strictness of your rules....

Parenting Stepchildren: Disciplining step children, physical child abuse, marriage counseling
physical child abuse, marriage counseling, step kids: Miguana... If as you say my husbands discipline can be viewed as physical child abuse then your first concern should be for your children. If that is how he deals with your children, then when they are gone, who will he take his anger or frustration out...

Parenting Stepchildren: difficult ex wife/step daughter, workout routine, birthday dinner
workout routine, birthday dinner, step daughter: Joan... about your first question. It is your house and she does not live there anymore. It is very reasonable for you to expect her to make arrangements on when she comes over and the conditions of her being there. She should also be respectful. To me...

Parenting Stepchildren: Finances, child support payments, paycheck to paycheck
child support payments, paycheck to paycheck, special occassions: Taylor... I agree with you. Until there is a formal arrangement like marriage, then keeping your finances separate is the best way to go. If your boyfriend has agreed to it, and he feels fine then do not worry about what others say. This is just between...

Parenting Stepchildren: Friend of step parent overnight stay, legal repercussions, grandfather robert
legal repercussions, grandfather robert, legal custody: Robert... I am not able to answer your question. If the grandfather has full legal custody then the grandmother should find out what legal rights she has and if there are any restrictions on who has access to the child. If there are then you must abide by...

Parenting Stepchildren: Help with Biological Mother, biological daughter, mutual friends
Parenting Stepchildren: Help with Biological Mother, biological daughter, mutual friends, jealousy

Parenting Stepchildren: Help with Biological Mother, step daughter, biological mother
step daughter, biological mother, science project: Carrie... yes children learn the manipulative behavior, and they learn it from the early influences in their lives. What good does it do to blame the bio mom... does it help your step daughter do better? Does it help create a better environment in your home?...

Parenting Stepchildren: i hate my step kids, dirty dishes, natural consequences
dirty dishes, natural consequences, step kids: As I said your are responsible for the feelings you have. If you are feeling annoyed it is YOU that is allowing YOU to feel these feelings. You can choose to feel anything you want to feel, regardless of whatever is happening around you. I know that when...

Parenting Stepchildren: Love for kids, definitly, lorna
definitly, lorna, affection: Lorna... only you know how you feel inside... trust your feelings, accept what you feel, and forget what others are telling you that you must feel. Now having said that, your boyfriend comes as a package. His children are an important part of his life....

Parenting Stepchildren: lost step daughter, now loosing grand daughter, step daughter, positive thoughts
step daughter, positive thoughts, grand daughter: Give her time and space. She is wanting to be on her own for a while. Whenever you think of her, mentally send her positive thoughts of how much your love her, and that you have faith in her ability to make good decisions. It sounds like you have done...

Parenting Stepchildren: step daughter gone, now loosing grand daugther, step dad, step daughter
step dad, step daughter, mental states: Rosalie ... it is hard to tell from what you said in your email. I believe that she is going through a period in her life where she wants to be independent. It may also be the boyfriend that is pulling her away. Drugs of any kind can alter mental states...

Parenting Stepchildren: step parenting issues, step parenting, step dad
step parenting, step dad, parenting issues: The best advice I can give you is to plan to meet your son outside of your home and take your daughter with you. That allows your and your daughter to meet with him and keeps step dad from spoiling the time with him. And reduces that stress. Not knowing...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-son, time consumming, custody papers
time consumming, custody papers, own toys: Heidi... It is different being a full time step parent even if you have been married for 16 years. I understand your concerns and the issues you are having to deal with. This boy is expressing his pent up anger and confusion about his life. Often the feelings...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren 3hrs away & traveling, mom dad, great relationship
mom dad, great relationship, seperate room: Laura... I can understand your concerns. Guilt is a very powerful force that drives people to do things they would not ordinarily do. I admire that he is so dedicated to his children and that he devotes so much of his time to be with his children. But it...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepson violence increasing, family violence hotline, sibling rivalry
family violence hotline, sibling rivalry, discipline methods: Thank you for acting so quickly... the bio mom may be hostile, but you have alerted people who need to know about the violence and you my have save your step daughter serious injury. Please be constantly alert to other issues that may be happening because...

Parenting Stepchildren: child discipline by significant other, physical discipline, child discipline
physical discipline, child discipline, step parents: Cristie... find additional ways of getting his attention to replace the spanking. I know that is is easy to spank, even if it is just a firm pat on the behind. I did that as well with my children but I feel there are better ways to help children deal with...

Parenting Stepchildren: Feeling like the evil stepmother, evil stepmother, step daughter
evil stepmother, step daughter, stepdaughter: Here is a short answer for now. A 13 year old wants to exert their independence and will go about it in any way to get both attention and get their way. As a parent/step parent we need to set boundaries of behavior and consequences if that boundary is crossed....

Parenting Stepchildren: Financial differences in step children, credit card debt, financial responsibility
credit card debt, financial responsibility, terminal illness: Sally...I assume you are talking about providing for the step children. The trust fund was established for the benefit of you and your children. If the step children are grown when you married or almost grown then you do not have any financial responsibility...

Parenting Stepchildren: child discipline by significant other, legal guardian, fiance
Parenting Stepchildren: child discipline by significant other, legal guardian, fiance, legal responsibilities

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchild tearing marriage apart, digital recorder
Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchild tearing marriage apart, digital recorder

Parenting Stepchildren: How much should you fight for the person you are in love with?, passive manner, lovable person
passive manner, lovable person, family relationship: George You already know what you need to do! My answer will be very short. This relationship will not go anywhere. This lady seems very unstable. For your sanity and the safety of your children, end this relationship. End it now and move on. Ric...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step son's graduation dinner, graduation dinner, dinner invitation
graduation dinner, dinner invitation, kids issue: I have had to struggle with this issue with my daughters and their biofather. Your feelings should come second to what your step son s feeling are in this situation. Ask him if he wants his bio mother there for the dinner. By putting his feelings first...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepchild tearing marriage apart, full custody, last fight
full custody, last fight, stepchild: You seem to go from one extreme to the other. By doing all of the things for him you became his servant and therefore not worth respecting. By disowning him and cutting him off you are saying that he is not worthy of your love. There must be somewhere...

Parenting Stepchildren: step child, biting my tongue, fianc
biting my tongue, fianc, bad behavior: Dottie... I accidentally erased my first response. So here it is again. Please tell your fiancee that his son needs and wants his dad to set boundaries and limits. Without limits his son does not feel safe and protected, so he keeps doing the bad behavior...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepson and his brother, proper arrangement, verbal language
proper arrangement, verbal language, stepson: hle.... I understand that you have a child and another on the way. You have a lot happening right now in your life. It sounds like you feel resentment towards your stepson and his younger brother. I think your statement i always play caretaker and a...

Parenting Stepchildren: 15 year old stepdaughter, drug and alcohol counselor, unhealthy environment
drug and alcohol counselor, unhealthy environment, drug and alcohol: Your first responsibility is to ensure the safety of your children and yourself as their mom. This sounds like a very unhealthy environment for your children, and your step daughter is a bad role model for them. Is this the environment that you want your...

Parenting Stepchildren: Future Step Mother Terrified, cps reports, local school district
cps reports, local school district, future step: This question is beyond what I can advise you on as there are legal issues here. Please consult with and take the advice of your boyfriend s lawyer. All I can say is trust your instincts as a mom and child care provider. Stay quietly in the background,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband and Stepdaughter clingyness, similiar situation, weekend mornings
Parenting Stepchildren: Husband and Stepdaughter clingyness, similiar situation, weekend mornings, mother and father

Parenting Stepchildren: step-parent concerns, single parent family, two parent households
Parenting Stepchildren: step-parent concerns, single parent family, two parent households, family decisions

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband and Stepdaughter clingyness, overcompensating, closed doors
overcompensating, closed doors, stepdaughter: Rosa I think it is great that your husband is wanting to have a close relationship with his daughter. Many dads in his situation feel guilty about breaking up the family and not being there for their children. He is most likely overcompensating and trying...

Parenting Stepchildren: overwhelmed and stress with not having a schedule for visitation, attending college, 24 years
attending college, 24 years, parenthood: Nikki Welcome to parenthood. What you are going through is typical of many families. This man of yours comes as a package. If you are planning on having your step children move in with you your schedule will only get busier. You need to sit down...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-parent concerns, step parenting, step dad
step parenting, step dad, game nights: Mark You seem like a great dad. You are the everyday dad to the boys. You set the example and are the role model that they will most likely follow as they grow. Although children can be confused by the type of behavior that the bio dad is displaying,...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepfather clashes with 7 yr. stepdaughter, messy divorce, broken promises
messy divorce, broken promises, second marriage: Camille I understand what you are feeling. I felt some similar things towards one of my daughters. Extra critical, not connecting with her, but she and I do have an understanding, and we are much closer now. The best thing for you do do is to be less...

Parenting Stepchildren: no support from spouse on stepchild, responsible child, step daughters
responsible child, step daughters, step daughter: Brian I think the key statement that you made is that away from home she is responsible and mature. I know that I had one step daughter that always seemed to push my buttons. I now realize that all I needed to do was to change my expectations. I kept...

Parenting Stepchildren: Cant stand my 5yo stepson, pearl jewelry store, names of dinosaurs
pearl jewelry store, names of dinosaurs, cereal bowl: Treasa Young children like your stepson have open minds. They just absorb everything they experience without any idea whether it is good or bad. They have not formed the idea or concept of being responsible for what they think feel or do. They simply...

Parenting Stepchildren: discipling stepchildren, very important person, step daughter
very important person, step daughter, biological father: Sharon Even though your daughter may really care for your boyfriend, she has her own feelings to deal with. She sees that you really care for him and wants to like him for your sake, because it makes you happy. But she has been your support, your very...

Parenting Stepchildren: Cant stand my 5yo stepson, friends at school, negativity
Parenting Stepchildren: Cant stand my 5yo stepson, friends at school, negativity, disagreements

Parenting Stepchildren: Living with a husband who dislikes my son, emotionaly, emotional problem
Parenting Stepchildren: Living with a husband who dislikes my son, emotionaly, emotional problem, new thoughts

Parenting Stepchildren: Living with a husband who dislikes my son, south american man, natural bodybuilding
south american man, natural bodybuilding, romantic man: Charlize This is your dream man? One who verbally and emotionally abuses you and your son. One who does very little to help around the house. One who is paranoid about what you say to your son. One who is very controlling and very demanding. This is...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult step daughters robbed me, felony crimes, step daughters
felony crimes, step daughters, computer theft: Mattie I believe that you already know what you should do. Go somewhere where you can be alone for a while and really think about what you want in your life. Go with your feeling in your gut, not the one in your head. Think about how important this relationship...

Parenting Stepchildren: Fiancee has a 12 year-old, loft bedroom, kitchen areas
loft bedroom, kitchen areas, bottom floor: Erin A relationship means each person giving and taking a little. It sounds like you approached him with a critical or even demanding note in your voice. And he responded in a hurt and aggressive way getting angry at you, then you hit him back with...

Parenting Stepchildren: My Husband My Son, male brain, good relationship
male brain, good relationship, few more years: Robin With limited information it is difficult to be of much help. I do not think mooching a free meal is the issue. There must be some other issue that your husband is reacting to. Sometimes the attitude of young people of that age is difficult to deal...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step mom role/responsibility, school homework, step mom
school homework, step mom, new mom: Mindy The role of step parent is not clearly defined which is why there is some much confusion and disagreement in what a step parent can or should do. Basically, and I believe this will be true throughout USA and Canada, if you are legally married you...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Parenting, step parenting, consistent effort
step parenting, consistent effort, boys ages: Harmony As long as you allow them to decide when and if they want to talk to their dad, that is okay. But it sounds like he is not too interested in making a consistent effort to talk with them. Skype to skype is free all around the world. To not...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughter crying a lot, having a new baby, moms and dads
having a new baby, moms and dads, mom and dad: Andrea You have already expressed some concern over the changes happening at your stepdaughters mom s house. This little girl has gone through some really dramatic changes in her life. Her parents splitting up, a new mom, new dad, new younger brother...

Parenting Stepchildren: love?, neice and nephew, maternal feelings
neice and nephew, maternal feelings, doing my own thing: Hello Dani, When people offer you advice regarding things that don t concern them, tell them it s none of their concern. If what you are doing is working why fix it? If all are satisfied with the arrangements that should be, then carry on. People tend...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Father, behaviour code, acceptable behaviour
behaviour code, acceptable behaviour, best of intentions: It sounds like he has the best of intentions, but is going about it in the wrong way. Likely he is trying to lighten the mood with your children when you are correcting them. Then when you are not there he tries to work it out with them to save you more...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step kids and financial, paycheck to paycheck, vet bill
paycheck to paycheck, vet bill, room mates: Hello Julia, Let s forget for a moment that your cat is a cat. What if we pretended for just a moment that this cat was a child of yours (not his) and this child was sick and needed extra attention, meds, etc. Now, you ve had this child long before he came...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughter stealing numerous time, summer clothing, stepchildren
summer clothing, stepchildren, sweaters: Angela This is a difficult situation. Your husband is the one that does need to deal with this, but from what you describe he is not doing this for various reasons. I would suspect this is not about the clothes, or about this stealing. I feel this...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-daughter and new baby sharing a room..., real storage, bassinett
real storage, bassinett, jealous woman: It sounds like you have a good handle on things. You understand that the six year old is reflecting behaviours and ideas that she has heard. It also sounds like she has some unresolved hurt inside of her. As with all young children you need to be aware...

Parenting Stepchildren: Teenage stepdaughter, having such a hard time, stepdaughter
having such a hard time, stepdaughter, busy schedule: Christine Think back to when you were 14. How did you treat your mother? Many parents go through this period where their child is impossible to live with. They do not seem to know what they want. What ever you do they complain or feel that you are not...

Parenting Stepchildren: x-wife harrassing step parent and family, civil lawsuit, violent behavior
civil lawsuit, violent behavior, sixth time: M I am not able or qualified to give legal advise. The is a very difficult situation for you and your family and from what you describe the x-wife is putting her children in the middle and using them to get even . Talk with your lawyer about the...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult stepchildren-enough is enough, stepfamily, stepmom
stepfamily, stepmom, adult: Hi Cathy - your story is very familiar to me. You mates have more options than you may know. From what you write, your stepkids are ACAs - Adult Children of an alcoholic family. That probably means they inherited psychological wounds and unawareness from...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend's daughter, cant sleep, applecart
cant sleep, applecart, daughters ages: Jennifer Welcome to step parenting. Remember that you just moved into their home and their life as a family. You are the stranger, and to her eyes you may be the interloper, the one that comes in and upsets that balance of things as they were. That is...

Parenting Stepchildren: How to Handle BPD Ex-stepdaughter Wanting to Attend Our Wedding, stepfamily, wedding
stepfamily, wedding, remarriage: Before I answer, I suggest you and your partner gain vital perspective by studying and discussing these articles and videos. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm The truth about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): http://youtu.be/QtxmvrndwI0...

Parenting Stepchildren: HELP! PLEASE!, stepmother, stepfamily stepdaughter loyalty conflict priorities marriage confusion problems wounds
stepmother, stepfamily stepdaughter loyalty conflict priorities marriage confusion problems wounds: Hello Jill - your stepfamily story is a common one. You probably have several concurrent problems: 1] Your husband may be carrying psychological wounds from early-childhood trauma. They promote his guilt and denial that his preferring his daughter is causing...

Parenting Stepchildren: I'm horrified I'm making my boyfriend's kids worse, disipline, boundries
disipline, boundries, simple stuff: Lauren I hope that you will read this Welcome to step parenting. From your email I can tell that you are a caring and concerned step parent. Some of the things you mentioned show that you have a very good understanding of your role as a step parent....

Parenting Stepchildren: Resentment, wife, stepfamily
wife, stepfamily, stepson: Hello Jill - your story is very familiar to me. From your description, I suspect you have several or all of these problems: 1) you and your husband may not have fully accepted your identity as a u stepfamily /u and you may not know what s normal in a...

Parenting Stepchildren: My son refuses to accept my husband, stepfamily, problems
stepfamily, problems, stress: Hello Amanda - your story is very familiar to me. From what you wrote, a major part of your problem is that your ex sounds like a Grown Wounded Child [GWC] who is unaware he is passing on psychological wounds to your son - perhaps with the unintended help...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughter runing relationship, step daughter, current boyfriend
step daughter, current boyfriend, bad mouth: Carol I understand that you feel the hurt of her behaviour and that you have a lack of trust and respect for her. It also must hurt that you have done your best to give love and a caring home to her. Also that your husband does not seem to support you....

Parenting Stepchildren: Teenage Stepchildren, heavy drinker, full custody
heavy drinker, full custody, oil rigs: Michelle Welcome to parenting teenagers. I think almost every parent goes through this stage with their children. It does not matter if you are a step parent or a biological parent, you will face this time where the children will roll their eyes, ignore...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Step Son or Dad ruining marriage, egg shells, big screen tvs
egg shells, big screen tvs, hr job: Sherry There is no way that you should have to walk on eggshells so that you do not set the son off. From what you have told me this man has not learned how to be responsible, that he expects others to give him what he needs while he does what he wants....

Parenting Stepchildren: Blended-Family with Kids & Dogs, stepfamily, problems
stepfamily, problems, stepmother: Hi Elizabeth - your situation is a common one. You mates have several concurrent problems: 1] It sounds like you re unable to problem-solve as true teammates: http://sfhelp.org/cx/skills/ps.htm 2] one or both of you may mot be clear and dedicated...

Parenting Stepchildren: Should I back off when it comes to my stepson?, step mother, stepson
step mother, stepson, bad person: Rebecca You are in a difficult situation. As a mother you have this instinctual desire to love and take of this boy, yet as a step parent you are not sure how far you should go before you overstep the boundaries of step parenting. I will bet that...

Parenting Stepchildren: my daughter and step daughter, right place right time, step daughters
right place right time, step daughters, step daughter: Hi Maeghann, This is an excellent question! Many stepparents struggle with this issue. Let me first say that it is in fact, true that you do not have the final say in how your stepdaughter is disciplined. As hard as it may be to accept, you are not the...

Parenting Stepchildren: My step daughter's mother is a drug addict
Parenting Stepchildren: My step daughter's mother is a drug addict

Parenting Stepchildren: My step daughter's mother is a drug addict, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, biological mom: Hi Amy - I admire your desire to nurture Mary as well as your other kids. I suspect your concern for her is justified, for drug usage, jail, and divorce are signs Jen is psychologically wounded thru no fault of her own. See and discuss these with your...

Parenting Stepchildren: 7 year old daughter hates my new husband, stepfather, hates stepfather
stepfather, hates stepfather, hates husband: Hi Kristi, Rule of thumb with discipline and stepchildren is to let the biological parent handle it. It is great that your husband wants to support you when your daughter is being defiant. However, he can best assist by taking an outside look at the situation,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Inappropriate boundaries between stepdaughter and husband, physical closeness, natural mothers
Parenting Stepchildren: Inappropriate boundaries between stepdaughter and husband, physical closeness, natural mothers, pubescent girl

Parenting Stepchildren: Financial Protection for step parent, stepmother, financial
stepmother, financial, liability: Hello Adam - I m not qualified to answer, because laws vary by state and I m not legally trained. I suggest you contact a family-law lawyer who knows local statutes. Generally, if a stepparent has not legally adopted a stepchild, they are not financially liable...

Parenting Stepchildren: Girlfriends Son creates anxiety.., stepfamily, discipline
stepfamily, discipline, values conflict: Hi Josh - welcome to the complex world of stepfamilies. You partners probably have several problems: 1] unresolved guilt about your split-up and how that may be affecting your biokids: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wounds/guilt.htm 2] you partners not knowing...

Parenting Stepchildren: husband & stepdaughter ruining marriage, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, competition: Hello Jacquiline - your step[family story is a common one. You mates have several concurrent problems: 1] All 4 of you co-parents (including your ex) have probably inherited significant psychological wounds and unawareness from your ancestors: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: Inappropriate boundaries between stepdaughter and husband, good byes, baby voice
good byes, baby voice, shoulder arm: Nicole Are you justified in feeling what you do. Perhaps and perhaps not... we will get into that in a bit. The most important point though is that you are experiencing these feelings. These are YOUR feelings and it is important to pay attention to your...

Parenting Stepchildren: I need advise!, calm tone, sweet children
calm tone, sweet children, preschool teacher: Nadia You sound like you would make a great mom. You seem to know what to do with the children. As you are not living in the house with them, you are wise to hang back and stay out of the discipline. What does your intuitive sense tell you to do...

Parenting Stepchildren: RE: Step Children Ruining My Marriage, thanksgiving holiday, 2 year olds
thanksgiving holiday, 2 year olds, adult children: Hello Jacquiline - Your upset and question suggest to me you have not yet read the articles I referred you to before. I suspect you have 3 major concurrent problems: (1) each of you adults has inherited psychological wounds, and you don t know what that means...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-daughter, honest statement, natural daughter
honest statement, natural daughter, step daughter: Andrea It is difficult to answer this question without more information. There could be a hundred reasons why she is so negative about your daughter... from jealousy to being hurt from her parents divorce. She could be feeling left out when she is with...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Daughters, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, stress: Hi Anna - Im very familiar with your situation. You all are faced with several simuklyaneous problems: 1] the biomom and probably you and your husband have inherited some significant psychological wounds from your ancestors: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: step parenting troubled child, family health centre, school counsellor
family health centre, school counsellor, habitual liar: I can understand what you are feeling as I have a step daughter that cut herself. Please consult with a professional as I am not qualified to provide you with much help. Talk to the school counsellor, or go to a family health centre to find someone to help...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdad and son, varsity basketball coach, natural instinct
varsity basketball coach, natural instinct, stepdad: Cat I was very tough with one of my stepdaughters. How did this work out? Over time our relationship has changed. She has matured and I realized that I need to be more supportive of her. What my wife did not realize was that my step daughter and I saw...

Parenting Stepchildren: Too much?, stepfather, stepson
stepfather, stepson, confusion: Hi Brad. I m not clear what you re confused about. Your stepson s behavior sounds like a typical teen seeking independence. As a boy abandoned by his biodad, I suspect he has serious resentment, hurt, and anger issues that he may not be able to talk about....

Parenting Stepchildren: Step children not getting along, partnership attitude, constructive discipline
Parenting Stepchildren: Step children not getting along, partnership attitude, constructive discipline, family discipline

Parenting Stepchildren: Step children not getting along, age gap, step dad
age gap, step dad, happy event: Lois There are so many dynamics that happen when you blend two separate families together. When you just had your two children your 6 year old daughter was the baby, the only girl. With the age gap she also was essentially an only child. She was special...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-mom forbids child's relationship with ex-step-mom, stepchildren, drkarae
stepchildren, drkarae, ex: Catherine, What a great question!! The feelings your new partner has are not unusual in a family like yours. It may be helpful to remind your new partner that it was you and your ex that broke up, not your ex and your son. It is best for your son to...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfriend and my child, stepfamily, loyalty
stepfamily, loyalty, values: Hi Martha - you partners have a cluster of common stepfamily problems: 1] - a values conflict about what to expect from your son; 2] a loyalty conflict about who comes first with you - your relationship, or your son 3] probably mutual ignorance of...

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficult 18 yrs boy--disrepectful, etc., stepfamily, stepmother
stepfamily, stepmother, teens: Hello Kari - you describe several classic stepfamily stressors. One problem is a marital one - you and your husband disagree over how to set boundaries with his son. Your mate apparently puts his kids needs ahead of you and your marriage. See these for perspective...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Son and Daughter, stepfamily, stepfather
stepfamily, stepfather, conflict: Hi Noah - you describe a very common stepfamily scenario. You have a cluster of simultaneous problems: http://sfhelp.org/hazards.htm 1) It sounds like your wife often chooses her son over you and your marriage, despite your protests. Doing this over...

Parenting Stepchildren: very complicated situation, stepfam, ily problems solutions course
stepfam, ily problems solutions course: Hello Laura - from your summary, you have multiple concurrent stepfamily problems. Because of their complexity, I m unable to make detailed suggestions other than these: 1) Read and discuss this with your husband: http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm ...

Parenting Stepchildren: Father allowing adult stepson to be lazy, stepfamily, stepmother
stepfamily, stepmother, loyalties: Hi Gail - I can understand why you (all) are bothered. 1] If you are a normal couple, you haven t studied anything about stepfamilies - so start by reading and discussing these: http://sfhelp.org/sf/facts.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/qa.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: help I'm so confused, step dad, family functions
step dad, family functions, family meeting: I accidently hit the send button before I was finished. more at the end I was tempted in my first response to ask if his behavior had changed and if his grades had dropped and if he was secretive and changed his group of friends but I see that he has done...

Parenting Stepchildren: manipulative stepdaughter, horrible language, due performance
horrible language, due performance, dropping out of high school: Sue It sounds like you have a lot of things that you are dealing with right now. First of all there is no magic solution that will make things right in this situation. You need to realize that you are not able to change your husband nor your stepdaughter....

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdad, stepfamily, teen
stepfamily, teen, son: Hi Kim - I can imagine your situation is hard. There are many possible reasons for your son s behavior, and I have too little info to offer specific advice. Several possibilities: 1] If your husband does the confronting, your son may feel he has no right...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson and father issues, whirlwind romance, silly things
whirlwind romance, silly things, stepson: Susan I beleive you already know what you need to do. Trust to the feelings inside of you. My advise: I am going to be blunt. I only have one word of advice for you. LEAVE. Get away from this man and his son. For your safety and sanity and that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson problems, gentle child, biological son
gentle child, biological son, stepson: Sad Each child is different and goes through their own process of breaking free of the nest. I know that I went through a point at about that age where I became more difficult and more critical of my mother. I thought that I was somehow better than my...

Parenting Stepchildren: Blaming the step-parent for 'negative vibes', international baccalaureate program, negative vibes
international baccalaureate program, negative vibes, playing the trumpet: Eleanor I understand that you are hurt that your step daughter is making decisions that you feel are not in her best interests. You have put time and effort into helping her be all that she can be and you see her making decisions that you feel are limiting...

Parenting Stepchildren: discipline of significant others child, stepfamily, discipline
stepfamily, discipline, values conflict: Hi Julie - It sounds like [1] you and BF have a significant values difference over hitting your sons, [2] he favors his son, tho claiming not to, and [3] you adults don t know how to do win-win problem-solving yet. I suspect also that like most couples,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Help with adult Electra step-daughter, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, competition: Hello Virginia - your description of a complex situation is eloquent. To understand what I m about to write, please read these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm and http://sfhelp.org/cycle.htm From your description,...

Parenting Stepchildren: malicious 22 y.o SD, will live with me and my daughter, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, stress: Hi Melissa - your question is well-timed. From your description, you u all /u are at risk of significant stress from five combined hazards: http://sfhelp.org/hazards.htm Your stepdaughter has apparently inherited significant psychological wounds from...

Parenting Stepchildren: having resentment towards step child, stepfamily, blended family
stepfamily, blended family, stepson: G day Robyn - I m very familiar with your type of difficult situation. I respectfully suggest that you have a u marital /u problem rather than a stepson problem. You partners have several concurrent problems: 1) you mates may not know stepfamily realities:...

Parenting Stepchildren: step daughter, stepfamily, discipline
stepfamily, discipline, values conflict: I m sorry you feel I didn t answer your question. You describe a classic stepfamily loyalty conflict. I recommend you SAY to your wife: When your daughter excludes me and you put her needs ahead of me and our marriage, I feel hurt, disrespected, and resentful....

Parenting Stepchildren: step parents and sex, loving feelings, mom and dad
loving feelings, mom and dad, inner feelings: Mick Without more information it is hard to give you a good answer. How long have you been together ( I would assume it is only a short time). How long has the bio father been gone... is he still part of the girls life? Does she have issues about you...

Parenting Stepchildren: Eavesdropping 11-year-old, natural curiosity, failed marriage
natural curiosity, failed marriage, custody arrangement: Virginia Let me see if I have this straight: You are newly married You are a new step parent You have moved to a new country where you do not understand the language You have left you friends and support systems of friends and family You are setting...

Parenting Stepchildren: HELP!!!!, step mom, lifetime commitment
step mom, lifetime commitment, man of my dreams: Laura You are very excited about this new love of your life and feel this is a lifetime commitment. Your man comes as a package and with all of the baggage this package brings. When you were dating the children could accept you as a friend of their...

Parenting Stepchildren: Issues with different parenting methods in blended families, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, stress: Hi Keddy - I have heard hundreds of versions of your story, and lived a version of it myself. I suspect you related parents have a cluster of problems: 1] unawareness of 5 concurrent core stressors: http://sfhelp.org/hazards.htm 2] unawareness of having...

Parenting Stepchildren: Partner's Daughters, negative attitude, grumpy mood
negative attitude, grumpy mood, traumatic situation: Vanessa The key to understanding what is happening with her is your sentence just moved in with us about 3 months ago as their mom moved towns To lose her mom on a regular basis is a very traumatic situation. I am not surprised that there are some...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren someday..problems now, stepmother, stepfamily
stepmother, stepfamily, conflicts: Hello Katrina - you have a group of common - difficult - problems: 1) your mate is a Grown Wounded Child (GWC) and he doesn t know it or what it means: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm You and both your stepkids mothers...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepdad with no prior children, stepfamily, stepkids
stepfamily, stepkids, dislike: Hi John - I strongly suspect your painful stepfamily situation is a symptom of your having inherited significant psychological wounds from your ancestors. Your wife has probably also inherited her own wounds. For all your sakes, I urge you mates to study...

Parenting Stepchildren: I do not like the word stepmother, stepmother stepfamily role title biomom biomother stepdaughter
stepmother stepfamily role title biomom biomother stepdaughter: Perhaps you need to separate the label mother from the verb mothering. By definition, you are in a stepfamily , and are accepting the family ROLE [responsibility] of stepmother [nurturer]- just as the girl has the role stepdaughter. Like it or not,...

Parenting Stepchildren: belligerent stepson already diagnosed with misogynism and attachment disorder., stepfamily, steppmother
stepfamily, steppmother, husband: Hello Jan - You all have several concurrent problems: 1) you and your husband are probably Grown Wounded Children [GWCs], and you don t know what this means or what to do about it; 2) you adults lack education on some key stepfamily realities 3)...

Parenting Stepchildren: help my stepdaughter is killing my family, disrespectfull, teen problem
disrespectfull, teen problem, step daughter: As a stepfather myself, it s never been an easy role that we play. It s a fine line you have to walk between being the father role model and allowing the bio mother to deal with her children. There is no quick fix to this kind of situation. And the unfortunate...

Parenting Stepchildren: Love lost between wife and step-daughters, step daughters, horrible person
step daughters, horrible person, extra time: Mark It sounds like you are a great dad, and that having a family is very important to you. I hear that you are hurt by what is happening and really feel that the loss of your wife as part of your family. From what you have said the issue for your wife...

Parenting Stepchildren: Troubled step mother, dee dee, nasty attitude
dee dee, nasty attitude, mamas boy: Dee Being a step parent is not easy, especially joining the family when the step children were teens. Compounding that is the fact that you are closer in age to the now adult children than to your husband. That makes it difficult for you to have a parental...

Parenting Stepchildren: 15 years old step daughter trouble, split personality disorder, vice like grip
split personality disorder, vice like grip, breast cancer: Sarah You are right if something doesn t change your marriage will not last. But you will not like my suggestion on who has to change. I am going to be blunt with you. In this situation it is you that needs to change what you are doing. You need to...

Parenting Stepchildren: 15 years old step daughter rebellion, dr karae, stepdaughter
dr karae, stepdaughter, challenges: Hello Sarah, This situation sounds very unsettling for you. There is great news though, and that is, this situation is not at all uncommon in stepfamilies. As a matter of fact, situations like yours are quite normal in early stepfamily formation. First,...

Parenting Stepchildren: 15 years old step daughter trouble, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, teen: Hi Sarah - welcome to stepfamily life. Your problems are common, and serious. From your eloquent description, I suspect: 1) Your stepdaughter [SD] has not grieved the death of her mother and the loss of her normal [bio]family, which is causing part of...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend doesn't like kids, boy pants, 9 times out of 10
boy pants, 9 times out of 10, child rearing: Sarah You did clarify things a lot more. Before you confront him with your feelings I would suggest that you sit down take some quiet time and write down the list 10 attributes or characteristics that are most important to you in a partner/spouse....

Parenting Stepchildren: no communications anymore, sexual overtones, spandex shorts
sexual overtones, spandex shorts, psychological wounds: It sounds like your declaration of love and dedication to her (as a married woman) are unwelcome - specially if their are sexual overtones to your approach - and/or threats of suicide. I strongly suspect you are a survivor of early-childhood trauma, and have...

Parenting Stepchildren: how to handle a rude stepson
Parenting Stepchildren: how to handle a rude stepson

Parenting Stepchildren: how to handle a rude stepson, stepmother, stepson
stepmother, stepson, rude: Hi Heather - you have several common major problems: 1] You, your husband, and your exes are probably Grown Wounded Children [GWCs]. See these http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm and http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm 2] Your husband may be putting his...

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband and Stepkids, stepmother, stepkids
stepmother, stepkids, money: Hello Cyndi - it sounds to me like you have several major problems: 1] like millions of people, you didn t realize how stressful stepfamilies can be: http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm 2] You re struggling with major values and loyalty conflicts:...

Parenting Stepchildren: To remain or not remain in step-sons life, snooty remarks, loving adults
snooty remarks, loving adults, legal obligation: Sarah Look inside and feel what the right answer is for you. I believe that this email is a way for you to get confirmation of what you already know you should do. You are under no legal obligation to continue this relationship. He is not your son....

Parenting Stepchildren: Step children moving out, stepchildren, moving
stepchildren, moving, resentment: Jacklin, From your question, it seems that you have not had any direct conversation with your spouse about your worries. It is possible that your spouse may not be blaming you at all for his son s choices, but clearly sees that there are other contributing...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step mom needs help with Bio- monster, christmas things, step mom
christmas things, step mom, several letters: Jerri, There are a lot of dynamics going on in your stepfamily which are very serious. It would not be appropriate to address concerns of this serious of a nature via an online forum. I would suggest that you involve yourself and your family (if they are...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-parenting, parenting experience, deadbeat dad
parenting experience, deadbeat dad, step parenting: Mark I take it that you do not have any children of your own so that this is your first parenting experience. I congratulate you for taking on this demanding and often unappreciated role of step dad. My concern is do you see this as a long term commitment?...

Parenting Stepchildren: teenage stepkids are coming between us, stepkids, second marriage
stepkids, second marriage, constant contact: Jessica Being a parent in a divorce situation is not easy and there is a lot of guilt that can happen. It sounds like your husband is compensating for putting his children through a divorce. Men particularly will be reluctant to impose limits or boundaries...

Parenting Stepchildren: Discipline, teen hangout, smoke pot
teen hangout, smoke pot, tolerance level: Terri I believe you have a reason to be concerned. When your husband says he s doing the stuff every 17 yr does what he really saying is that it is okay that his son is not being responsible, that bad behaviour, disrespect is okay. From my experience...

Parenting Stepchildren: Eavesdropping and Violation of Privacy, stepmother, stepsons
stepmother, stepsons, privacy: Hello Jessica - I understand that you feel violated and frustrated. I m not clear on what specific behavior you need from your stepsons - Don t lurk ? Don t listen to us? Don t speak to my friends? Don t tell your mother about us? Without knowing more,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Moral Dilemma, outpatient drug rehab, moral dilemma
outpatient drug rehab, moral dilemma, felony charge: Celia I think you already know what you need to do. Trust your feelings. You are in a difficult position. I do not believe that you are over reacting. Your husband is living in the dilemma of wanting to protect his son, and believe the best about him,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Ready to give up, stepmother, teen
stepmother, teen, stepodaughter: Hello Jess - your story is a stepfamily classic. I suspect you mates have several concurrent problems. They are solvable IF your husband admits his half of them and commits to reduce them over time. http://sfhelp.org/hazards.htm 1] the keystone problem...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdad-Control freak, yet helps mom with bills.. Trapped.., dr karae, stepdad
dr karae, stepdad, stepfather: Hi Chris, Your situation is quite common among your age group in stepfamilies. It sounds as though you appreciate the things John does for you, and at the same time, it appears that you are sensing that he is not appreciative of the things you do (painting,...

Parenting Stepchildren: husband has no tolerance for adolescent stepsons, stepfamily, remarriage
stepfamily, remarriage, stepfather: Hi Ann - I doubt that you are stupid. I suspect you adults have at least three concurrent problems. If so, marital separation will only delay healthy resolution. 1] Like most step-adults, your husband and ex - and maybe you - have inherited psychological...

Parenting Stepchildren: remarriage and step children, teen, stepfamily
teen, stepfamily, stepdaughters: Hello Janice - your story is familiar to me. You partners have several practical options: 1} Assess whether any of you three co-parents are Grown Wounded Children [GWCs]. The odds are high you u all /u are. Study and discuss these: http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepson problems, stepson, playing a game
stepson, playing a game, love messages: Hello, Your stepson sounds like he has a lot of feelings pinned inside and he is acting them out instead of talking them out. This is not atypical for a child that has not had an opportunity to process his feelings about the divorce and subsequent re-marriage...

Parenting Stepchildren: help with parenting a step daugther, stepmother, stepdaughter
stepmother, stepdaughter, preteen: Hi Christine - you have a normal, complex stepfamily [vs. stepdaughter ] problem. I notice you ask what i you /i can do, vs. we [you and your husband] can do. If you re not getting enough empathy and support from him with your stepdaughter, you have a marital...

Parenting Stepchildren: My husband just met his long lost 12 year old daughter, child support case, dna test
child support case, dna test, dna testing: Britt, Thanks so much for reaching out to help. I can empathize with what you are feeling. This situation is going to take a lot for everyone to sort through. In essence the life people have come to know is not the life that they have anymore. It takes...

Parenting Stepchildren: Problems with Boyfriend and Child's Mother relationship, stepmother, ex
stepmother, ex, jealoust: Hello Madeline - yes, you all have something to worry about. Most U.S. stepfamily unions fail (over 50%) because [1] one or more co-parents inherits [psychological wounds + unawareness] from their parents; [2] they don t know how to problem-solve the many...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend having difficulties with my kids.
From your boyfriends response, he is not willing to make the changes necessary to be a better step parent. So you must decide if he is the person that you want in your life and as a role model for your children. Here are some questions to ask yourself...

Parenting Stepchildren: my boyfriends other child, question with regard, good relationship
question with regard, good relationship, long periods: Ame, Thank you for writing in with your question. With regard to your question, should you stay or leave, is a very loaded question given the limited information that is detailed in your post about your situation. Your feelings of resentment for the...

Parenting Stepchildren: physically and mentally abusive stepson, step brother, basketball hoop
step brother, basketball hoop, son vincent: Jessica This level of behaviour is beyond what I can help with. Perhaps he needs psychological testing. As a mother you need to protect your young son from injury. Will your husband give up visitation rights for now? Perhaps you can find someone to teach...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepdaughters lies about stepmom, stepdaughter, lies
stepdaughter, lies, disrespect: Hello Bc. It sounds like you have several normal - stressful - stepfamily problems. 1] b You re feeling disrespected and unsupported by your husband /b relative to his daughter. There can be several reasons for his discounting you -e.g. [a] he doesn t...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepparenting a 17 yr old, parental responsibility, getting a job
parental responsibility, getting a job, good kid: Susan First of all... You say he is a great kid -does well in school. So your big issue is that he does not help around the house and is not expressive in his thanks. Perhaps it is time for him to start taking responsibility for himself. If you are...

Parenting Stepchildren: my Stepson, human space, stepson
human space, stepson, holding hands: Hello Marie, Thank you for reaching out. What your stepson is experiencing is called divided loyalty . In cases of divided loyalty, it is common for children to offer responses to the adult s in his life that will be pleasing to the adult that he is interacting...

Parenting Stepchildren: 12 year old step son has authority issues, stepfamily, stepson
stepfamily, stepson, rebellious: Hi Dan - From what you wrote, your stepson has been traumatized several times in his young life. He has probably inherited major psychological wounds from his ancestors, and needs patient, informed help to (a) reduce his wounds over time, (b) grieve several...

Parenting Stepchildren: 12 yr old step son behavior problem, lunch room, behavior problem
lunch room, behavior problem, military school: Dan... This boy has gone through a lot. I know you already know this but it is important to emphasize this. First of all his bio dad left before he was born, and then a father figure that he probably connected with also left. There may have been other...

Parenting Stepchildren: 18 Year Old Stepchild, playing basketball, house guest
playing basketball, house guest, stepchild: Even normal 18 year olds struggle with family time... I know I did. Wanting to be on their own yet knowing it is easier to stay with family. Just be as nice as you can, do little things that show you care and let time take care of the rest. Also men do...

Parenting Stepchildren: My daughter disrepsects my husband., mother, anxiety
mother, anxiety, daughter: Hi Jennifer - your problem is common to many stepfamilies. There are a number of possible explanations for your daughter s disrespect. Whatever the reasons, the fundamental issue you mates face is one of loyalty [priority]. Stepfamilies u force /u bioparents...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren, girls rape, restraining order
Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren, girls rape, restraining order, cutters

Parenting Stepchildren: overly affectionate step-son, stepfamily, stepson
stepfamily, stepson, excessive affection: Hi Brittney - I suspect your stepson was traumatized by his early hospital experiences (and family breakup, and he may have felt abandoned by his birthmother. If so, his need to be so affectionate can be an unconscious way of trying to guard against re-abandonment....

Parenting Stepchildren: stepchildren, younger siblings, responsible parent
younger siblings, responsible parent, stepson: My apologies Denise... I had answered your question but I guess my email did not go through so here it is again. Your first priority as a mother is to protect your daughter from harm. you have done that by keeping your stepson from being in your home. If...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson bullying both of my children at school and at home, new remarriage, stepson
new remarriage, stepson, bully: Hi Lisa - from what you wrote, you all have several classic stepfamily problems. 1] Like most divorced/remarried coparents, you and your husband may each be Grown Wounded Children [GWCs]. http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: visitation, child visitation, teens
child visitation, teens, stepfamily: Hi JT - I advise against forcing them to visit, for they will resent you if you do. One challenge you face is acknowledging they are inevitably growing up and away. Another challenge you (and your wife) face is apparently you and your ex have unfinished business...

Parenting Stepchildren: step children, stepmother, stepson
stepmother, stepson, teen: Hi Jamie - In general, I urge you co-parents to b get educated /b on managing a complex, stressful stepfamily. Start by reading and discussing these: http://sfhelp.org/sf/facts.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/qa.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm ...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step children, stepfamily, stepchild
stepfamily, stepchild, anger: Hi Theresa - I can understand your discomfort. Tentatively, i d guess the kids behavior results from several things at once: 1] early-childhood trauma; 2] incomplete grief over several major losses; 3] adolescence & puberty changes and stresses ...

Parenting Stepchildren: we thought he wanted a family but maybe not?, small portion, trepidation
small portion, trepidation, fears: Les My apologies for not answering sooner. What I feel you should do is find a quiet spot where you can be alone for a little while...ask yourself some of these questions that you have asked me. But instead of listening to those voices in your head......

Parenting Stepchildren: Concerns with blending families, mid thirties, blending families
mid thirties, blending families, dr carey: Robin, Thank you for the opportunity to assist you with your question. It sounds as if you have some very valid concerns about your pending merging of families. I agree that the concerns you mentioned in the email question are of high priority...

Parenting Stepchildren: Father's wife unkind, narcissistic personality disorder, benefit of the doubt
narcissistic personality disorder, benefit of the doubt, fancy restaurants: Hello Leigh, It is true that some women in the role of a stepmother experience jealousy. Sometimes they are jealous of the ex-wife, a woman they know once held their husband s heart. Even jealousy of stepchildren is rampant is stepfamilies. It is not to...

Parenting Stepchildren: step-family dynamics, stepmother, rude
stepmother, rude, nasty: Hi Lee - In my experience, divorce is often a sign that both mates have inherited [psychological wounds + unawareness] from their ancestors via early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse. This inheritance promotes most personality disorders like Narcissism....

Parenting Stepchildren: step-mother nastyness, narcissistic personality disorder, benefit of the doubt
narcissistic personality disorder, benefit of the doubt, fancy restaurants: Hello Leigh, It is true that some women in the role of a stepmother experience jealousy. Sometimes they are jealous of the ex-wife, a woman they know once held their husband s heart. Even jealousy of stepchildren is rampant is stepfamilies. It is not to...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson, situations at hand, loving self
situations at hand, loving self, wetting the bed: Dear Confused Stepmom, Thank you for trusting me to answer your question. It sounds like a challenging situation indeed! With children your stepson s age, developmentally they do not have the capacity to talk out feelings, and instead they tend to act...

Parenting Stepchildren: Holding on..., displays of affection, great strides
displays of affection, great strides, step mom: Nicole, A parent that does not have access to their children in a manner in which they would like, or are used to takes some time to adjust to. It sounds, from your inquiry, that you are asking is holding a child aged 7 or 9 appropriate for a parent....

Parenting Stepchildren: My sons' stepbrother hits them, signs of physical abuse, physical signs
signs of physical abuse, physical signs, custody fight: Brooke Letting your children go to a place where you have no control over what happens to them is very difficult. Even as a father knowing that there was a new husband in my ex wife s home was difficulty for me. How will he treat my children, what kind...

Parenting Stepchildren: 21year old kinda stepson
Ron... I understand your concern but you are the person that is new in this family. It is up to mom to discipline this boy. Mom is not helping her son by not helping him be responsible. Coming from a military background makes this situation even harder...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult stepson's behaviors, stepfamily, loyalty
stepfamily, loyalty, values: Hi Ron - You partners have several simultaneous (common]stepfamily problems. 1] you two may lack some baseline info about stepfamilies: http://sfhelp.org/sf/qa.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/facts.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm 2] your partner...

Parenting Stepchildren: 50/50 time sharing, stepfamily, blended family
stepfamily, blended family, custody: From your description, your husband s ex is a GWC (psychologically wounded): http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm // http://sfhelp.org/gwc/means.htm It s possible that you and your husband are wounded too. If so, the biggest challenge all you adults have...

Parenting Stepchildren: Older step son and younger daughter, stepfamily, blended family
stepfamily, blended family, stepfather: Hi Just6in - you have several concurrent problems: http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm 1] you and your wife have a i priority /i conflict: who comes first with her: your marriage or her son? http://sfhelp.org/relate/mates/priority.htm 2] you...

Parenting Stepchildren: Stepson becoming adult, stepfamily, stepfather
stepfamily, stepfather, stepson: Hi Scott - I m very familiar with your situation. You have a marital problem, not a stepson problem. Specifically, your wife must choose who s needs are more important to her: hers, her son s, or yours, This is a values (priority) conflict most stepfamily...

Parenting Stepchildren: conflict with real father, stepfamily, stepfather
stepfamily, stepfather, angry: Hello Samantha - I have heard versions of your situation before. It usually means the biological father was traumatized badly as a young child. and bears major psychological wounds. The wounds can cause many relationship and parenting problems, including reality...

Parenting Stepchildren: What responsibilities does a stepfather have to a stepson?, stepfamily, divorce
stepfamily, divorce, stepfather: Hello Yevgeniya - understand your deep concern for your son s co0nfusion and pain. He is too young to understand the real reasons his stepdad has abandoned him - that will come in future years. I suspect his abandonment is because maintaining a relationship...

Parenting Stepchildren: help!
Hello It takes a long time (upwards of three to seven years according to research) for stepfamilies to find a harmonious balance. One thing you can do is to be sure that you and your spouse are on the same page. It is important to build good times with...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step Daughter Seeking Advice from Step Mom
Hi Anita - I propose that you, her father, and her birth mother all advise this young woman to make no romantic commitment for another 5 to 8 years, while she learns who she is. I suggest you also evaluate whether her birth parents inherited psychological...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step-parenting a 20-year old daughter, stepfamily, loyalty
stepfamily, loyalty, conflict: Hi Lori - yes, I have advice. [1] agree with your husband on specifically what your role as stepmom is:(what are you responsible for?) http://sfhelp.org/sf/co/job.htm 2] Identify specifically what you need with/from your husband relative to his daughter:...

Parenting Stepchildren: stepfamily, blended family, parenti9ng, problems, stepfamily, blended family
stepfamily, blended family, problemsw: Hello Tamm. It sounds like you all are experiencing a group of normal stepfamily stressors. The long-term answer is u education /u . Read and discuss these with your husband: http://sfhelp.org/sf/qa.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/quiz7.htm http://sfhelp.org/sf/facts.htm...

Parenting Stepchildren: Daughter more loyal to step mother and father than biological mother, stepfamily, loyalty conflict
stepfamily, loyalty conflict, priorities: Hello Mama - I m very familiar with the complex situation you describe. You and your girls are experiencing a cluster of stressful problems like these: http://sfhelp.org/sf/problems.htm Your biggest problem, I suspect, is accepting that you, your ex,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step son
Sara... becoming a step parent means that you inherit a lot of the baggage that comes with your spouse, in this case a young boy who has not had a great childhood. As a step parent you come into this as a outsider that has no position of authority, yet...

Parenting Stepchildren: Husband/Son hate each other
Dear Crys You seem to at a crisis point where either direction you go has undesirable consequences. Based on what you told me, and from what my wife and I have learn as step parents, here is what I think. You, nor your son, are not responsible for...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult stepchildren
Kelly I hear a lot of frustration in what you are saying. I am glad that you asked Please tell me how I can make me feel better because the responsibility for how you feel belongs to you. Only you can make the choice on how you want to feel in any...

Parenting Stepchildren: Step parent role
Hannah... you sound like a great mom and stepmom. This may come as a after the fact ... the party may have already happened, but in your home your set the rules and guidelines. The step mom must clear with you first before organizing anything in your home....

Parenting Stepchildren: My 22 year old step son, father names, three kids
father names, three kids, arlene: Hello Arlene, I agree. Better yet, ask yourself what all this is doing to the other children that are still home and watching this. What is your husband teaching the others by giving into this lad? Does he think it will end with just the 22 year old? Wait...

Parenting Stepchildren: 24 Year Old Step Children, julie julie, cookouts
julie julie, cookouts, fathers day: Jessica, Unfortunately you are living with the results of a bad decision. Isn t it odd that they still try to have contact with him even though he is just as guilty as you are? I would quit trying to defend what you did. Your husband needs to do that when...

Parenting Stepchildren: 3 Boys, how to relate to new step children, professional counselor, step mom
professional counselor, step mom, stepparents: Hello Millie, Take your time before becoming fully involved with this family. Your soon to be husband should get these boys into counseling and fast first. There are issues that should be dealt with regarding the divorce and situations of the marriage that...

Parenting Stepchildren: 4 year old cries for mom, junior kindergarten, separation anxiety
junior kindergarten, separation anxiety, acting this way: Hello Jennier, Children go through various stages during development. Your stepdaughter is typically entering the separation anxiety stage and will show this often when separated from her mother, whether it be a day care, junior kindergarten or during...

Parenting Stepchildren: 6 Year old Stepdaughter, school counselor, full custody
school counselor, full custody, odd hours: Hi Tina, It sounds like you have your hands full here. It also sounds like you need some support. I d offer a couple of suggestions to you. 1. (Most important) You need to talk to your husband. He HAS to step up with his daughter. Things will only...

Parenting Stepchildren: 6 year old stepdaughter is having trouble coping, sister melanie, nasty legal battle
sister melanie, nasty legal battle, mom lives: Dear Marisela, Do you still want to talk about your issues and be referred to a group in your area? Please call. My number is below. Wendy Dear Marisela, I am located in Chicago. I think it might be better if we talked on the phone about this,...

Parenting Stepchildren: 6 year old stepson, sole caregiver, time zone differences
sole caregiver, time zone differences, gr 1: Dear Mary Ann, Loving someone else s child is not easy. They all come with baggage...some more than others. First of all..you must understand that there will always be that fine line that separates you from your step-child. He is not yours and has traits...

Parenting Stepchildren: 7 yr old girl, children of divorce, yr olds
children of divorce, yr olds, old girl: Dear Leiann, It will be important that you learn this lesson early on....ALL children want their parents to be together, especially 7 yr. olds. Do not explain that it will not happen. Are you sure that it won t or shouldn t? Allow her to grieve. Secondly,...

Parenting Stepchildren: 8 year old stepdaughter, high risk pregnancy, infertility treatments
high risk pregnancy, infertility treatments, biological mom: I figured out what happened. :( I typed a lot you won t see, when I do a follow up it erases what I was following up too. :( So if you had not read it yet, it is gone. :( Sorry, just wanted to let you know that I had replied to you. I don t think...

Parenting Stepchildren: 8-year-old stepdaughter, half sisters, time issue
half sisters, time issue, stepdaughter: I think you are doing the right thing, respecting her and her feelings, letting her have time with her father, and at 8, she has been thru a lot and is having a hard time coming to her dad s and having someone else there, it was probably nice for her to have...

Parenting Stepchildren: my 9 yr old, mom and dad, first names
mom and dad, first names, boyfriends: He doesn t respect you because your boyfriend doesn t respect you. If he can go to his dad and get his way when you ve told him no, then the child is playing you. Dad needs to back you up and when he does that, then you ll start having the respect you deserve....

Parenting Stepchildren: Abnormal father-daughter relationship, cant sleep, divorced man
cant sleep, divorced man, living hell: I am assuming you do not have any children of your own? Before I had a child of my own I thought several things were abnormal that after having a child I now know it is normal. HOWEVER! What she is doing is pretty normal, your husband s response, not...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult (?) Step Daughter, irresponsible woman, third world country
irresponsible woman, third world country, irrational thinking: Hello Nancy, Let me understand this properly... she is 33??? There should be no issue. She is an adult and should have a life of her own. Her father is entitled to a relationship with his daughter, but there should be boundaries and rules set in place....

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepdaughter, temper tantrum, spoiled brat
temper tantrum, spoiled brat, lakehouse: I have a similar story I would like to share. My husband and I have been together 12 years. He has two kids from his ex, they are now 19 and almost 17. We have had more trouble with them than this page would hold! Anyway, the girl (17) has always been...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepdaughter, loyalty conflicts, second marriage
loyalty conflicts, second marriage, spsc: Hi Karla - the cycle will end when you assert to your husband that you need him to *want to* put your marriage ahead of his daughters most of the time. Does he clearly understand what you need from him? Your note suggests serious stepfamily (1) values and...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepdaughters, step kids, angry at the world
step kids, angry at the world, elder daughter: Stepparenting is NEVER easy. I have yet to meet a step parent who tells me good stories. I do not have experience personally with older kids, mine step kids where only 4 and 7 when I came into the picture. My only advice to you (hold tight you are not...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult step child wants to move in., adult step child, bull by the horns
adult step child, bull by the horns, marital counseling: Dear Karla, You really took the bull by the horns and stood your ground! Good for you. How does your husband like it? I have a feeling that you and your husband could use some marital counseling at this point since, even though he may be glad (secretly)...

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult step children, wistles, biological daughter
wistles, biological daughter, husb: Sounds like you have happy holidays heading your way Elisa! WOW!!!! What a mess! With everything that is going on with your health I think it s very important that you have as peaceful a holiday as possible. I would hope your husband would want this...

Parenting Stepchildren: Alternate names, south wales valleys, hello willow
south wales valleys, hello willow, biological mom: Hello Willow, I am glad to see a success story about stepparenting. Kudos to you! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes and even in packages called children (smiles). Have them call you by your first name. There is no harm in doing this and their feelings...

Parenting Stepchildren: Angry Stepdad, putdowns, stepchild
putdowns, stepchild, last straw: Hello Mary, Time for counseling. All children play one parent against the other at some point. It is up to the adults to be just that, adults and learn to work together to parent any children in the relationship accordingly. There should be no reason for...

Parenting Stepchildren: Angry young girl, black marker, horrible names
black marker, horrible names, middle daughter: Hello Lynette, Allow me to say this first: I think you and this man should marry. Second, remember, you cannot change that which is not within your power to change. Keeping that in mind, allow me to address your questions. 1 – Is there anything else...

Parenting Stepchildren: accepting a potential step-child, dna testing, grand parents
dna testing, grand parents, little girls: Hi Jennifer - I apologize for the delay in responding - I may have accidentally deleted the notice of your question. I encourage you to identify specifically what you need in this complex situation, from whom (eg the other people to respect your needs and...

Parenting Stepchildren: accepting stepchildren, stepkids, private moments
stepkids, private moments, stepchildren: Dear Leslie ~~ Congratulations on your upcoming new member to your family! I wish you a safe and enjoyable pregnancy and delivery :) Try to remember that your husband has never done all of this WITH YOU before. It s all new because the two of you have...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult step-child, adult step child, loyalty conflicts
adult step child, loyalty conflicts, negative attitude: Hi Janice - I m not clear on what you want to put an end to - the woman s negative attitude ? Rejection of you as her Dad s parter? Her Father remarrying? Her possible loss of status with her Dad because he cares for you? The first step might be to get...

Parenting Stepchildren: adult step son, physical confrontations, new girlfriend
physical confrontations, new girlfriend, handgun: Hi Jeff, What a mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the biggest issue here is the fact that your wife can t follow through. You said a couple of times in your questions that the 2 of you would agree on how to proceed and then she just can t follow through....

Parenting Stepchildren: adult stepchildren, adult stepchildren, great relationship
adult stepchildren, great relationship, finace: Hi Rebecca, It sounds like you have a bit of a mess going on here. I can completely understand why you re tired . I think I d be exhausted! There are a few things I d suggest for you: 1. Stay WAY away from any of this disciplinary stuff that dad...

Parenting Stepchildren: over-affectionate stepson, nieces and nephews, physical affection
nieces and nephews, physical affection, step mom: You sound like me funny enough. I love my son, I have only one, but none when meeting hubby. (This is our son together of course) I will love all over MY son, even though he is 7, but other kids, past and present I don t like loving on me. I feel like...

Parenting Stepchildren: aggravated, three kids, selfishness
three kids, selfishness, 28 years: Dear Kim, You know, life is not always convienent. I have read and re-read your letter. I see a lot of concern about self and not enough about children, especially his. Did you not know these children when you married their dad? Did you hate them then?...

Parenting Stepchildren: aggravated, three kids, selfishness
three kids, selfishness, 28 years: Hi Kim - I m familiar with the situation you describe. I fear you both made some wrong assumptions about forming a stepfamily, and are now paying the tragic price. As you know, there s no going back. Your hating that your husband had kids with another...

Parenting Stepchildren: angry step-daughter, daughter alex, step daughter
daughter alex, step daughter, court battles: Hi Anne, Wow, it sounds like things have been difficult, DIFFICULT, D I F F I C U L T!!! While I can completely understand why you d feel the way you do, I would caution you. The last thing you want to do is make your husband feel that he has to choose...

Parenting Stepchildren: Background: A few days ago..., physical altercation, alternative center
physical altercation, alternative center, apposed: Lawrence, Wow....I think you are right. You should not be the one who is sleeping somewhere else. You and your wife have to show a united front. Seems to me that all he has to do is get out of control and you are out of a bed! Mom has to back away from...

Parenting Stepchildren: Bio Mom and Stepdaughters, anger issues, roller coaster ride
anger issues, roller coaster ride, play mind games: Hello Nancy, What you are describing are called bullies. They use manipulation and fear to get what they want. They are very clever and very intimidating, not to mention, believable. The way to destroy a bully s control is to remove their power over...

Parenting Stepchildren: BLOOD VS MARRIAGE, kiss on my cheek, stepfamily situation
kiss on my cheek, stepfamily situation, hugs and kisses: Hi Barbara - I read of your frustration and pain in a classic stepfamily situation. Probabilities: (1) your stepson s motrher, father, and stepfather probably bear major wounds from their own childhoods, and have passed them on to the boy; (2) your principle...

Parenting Stepchildren: Blended Family - No Respect - Not Married Yet, blended family, daugther
blended family, daugther, rescuer: These situations very rarely get better, the only thing that happens is people (usually the Mom) settle, and live with it . I don t suggest this. I have been a step-mom for 12 years. I love my husband and we have a wonderful son together, I would not...

Parenting Stepchildren: BM and SD issues, incident occured, sd issues
incident occured, sd issues, grandmom: Hello again, I understand what you are saying. Do you realize that even though you have access of your stepdaughter in your home, you are in effect, bringing the biomom to stay as well. As long as you both continue to allow the biomom to be an issue,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Borrow Money to Stepchildren, evil stepmother, 1 million dollars
evil stepmother, 1 million dollars, home equity loan: Hello again, It is unfortunate that this is happening. Break down of communication within a stepparenting/bioparent relationship is one of the major causes of trouble within the family dynamics. With all that said, I would continue on with your life...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boundaries for ex's, good relationship, outdoorsmen
good relationship, outdoorsmen, divorcee: Hello Lori, Being a stepparent is difficult at best on any given day. I commend you for your compassion and willingness to make these relationships work. I know you understand that some things are not within your control. If something is meant to be it...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend too affectionate with children, tv talks, daugher
tv talks, daugher, daugther: First let me say I am sorry for the delay in answering. You don t mention if you have kids of your own. If you don t let me tell you I seen things a little different before I had kids. I kind of felt the same way, but now that I have a kid of my own I...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend and my daughers hate each other, mom and dad, friendly relationship
mom and dad, friendly relationship, boyfriend girlfriend: There is not solution to this that is simple. This is a very common story. I know that it feels like you are the only ones in the world, that all others get along, but that isn t true at all. I think you should sit them all down together, and tell them...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend lying about paternity, loving relationship, father didn
loving relationship, father didn, paternity test: Dear Rachel, You are right...this is kind of a mess, but the messiest of it is that involves children and young ones at that. I think your boyfriend going to counseling is wise because my first impression is that he is having his own issues about this child...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend & Son article..., compulsive liar, friends feet
compulsive liar, friends feet, great relationship: Hello, I ve taken the liberty of reading this letter over. I can t help but think that you ve managed well so far in handling all issues pertaining to the children of this marriage. I would like to offer the following suggestions, if I may: 1. I...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriend and son, audio surveillance, cusses
audio surveillance, cusses, bullies: Hi Colleen, You can still use these suggestions even if you are not actively living together. You spend enough time together to function as a family. If your boyfriend refuses to listen and he has a negative opinion of your sons, you might want to address...

Parenting Stepchildren: Boyfriends' kids, egg shells, thier mom
egg shells, thier mom, family counselor: Hello Patty, The difference between marrying and becoming a stepparent and then finding out that things are like you described; and, being just a girlfriend and not marrying into a situation and seeing before you did marry what it would be like married...

Parenting Stepchildren: Breakup, several factors, meeting your needs
several factors, meeting your needs, point of view: Hi Randee, I m sorry to hear about what s going on. That stinks. I can t really answer on whether I think it s right or not, but what I will tell you is that I d be SHOCKED if this only has to do with his daughter. There are probably several factors...

Parenting Stepchildren: becoming a step-parent, step mom, counsling
step mom, counsling, single mom: You define your role. However, you get support of everyone. Sit with hubby on a good day and ask him what role he d like you to have in this relationship with his daughter. Tell him that there are certain things that you feel certain about (and one of them...

Parenting Stepchildren: behavior of 9yo boy, minuits, facing reality
minuits, facing reality, togher: Hello Tommy, You are nothing like the man described in the other letter. There are very important differences. In your case, you care and wish things to be different. I hope your wife sees this. I will say one thing that I ve noticed all these years...

Parenting Stepchildren: "Getting the best of me!", burry, irresponsibility
burry, irresponsibility, local bar: Wow, you live across the street from the ex? That is most woman s nightmare. Your feelings are really understandable, you are being used, I know, I was used too! I want to put something out there for you! You are doing a great thing by this little girl...

Parenting Stepchildren: Will my boyfriend ever accept my son?, blended families, future plans
blended families, future plans, single women: Hello Lanise, Wow... I think you already have an idea where this is heading. It is so difficult on single women with children to find a man willing to take on their kids and involve them in their lives. He has basically told you where he stands. It is really...

Parenting Stepchildren: boyfriend's adult children, adult daughters, retirement benefits
adult daughters, retirement benefits, good relationship: Hi Debbie, 1. I don t think you are being unfair in your concern about supporting him as he gets older. You ve made wise decisions financially and feel that you will be secure. For whatever reasons, he has NOT made wise decisions about his money. This...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfriend's daughter, home wrecker, highs and lows
home wrecker, highs and lows, calling me names: Hello, Court and counseling will help with issues pertaining to the ex-wife, both sought after by your boyfriend. Parenting classes will help him to deal with discipline issues regarding his daughter. As for you, I feel you need to block her from your...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfriends hates my son, misbehaving, cold night
misbehaving, cold night, animosity towards: Hello Jeniffer, I believe there is a serious issue developing here that you need to address immediately. The fact that there is an open animosity towards your son by your boyfriend, makes me concerned for the lad s safety. Also, the fact that the boyfriend...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfriends son, first time mom, tough choices
first time mom, tough choices, stepdaughter: I hate to tell you this, but it has been my personal experience, and seeing this in others, it probably is not going to get better. I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. When my son was three months old I packed my bags and told hubby I was...

Parenting Stepchildren: My boyfriens's son is driving me nuts!, eight year old boys, mommy and daddy
eight year old boys, mommy and daddy, poor behavior: Hello Elizabeth, I am sorry to see that you ve been ill for two years; I hope it is nothing too serious? In the beginning, your boyfriend s son was three, and yes most three year olds are loving and sweet. Most eight year old boys are very active and...

Parenting Stepchildren: bratty step-child, step daughter, rudeness
step daughter, rudeness, rhonda: Rhonda..... Who is running the show here????? Why does the dad not take control of this situation? The problem is with the dad too. Either he pull this family together....or you take your son and leave for a few days until he and daughter can get their...

Parenting Stepchildren: i CANT stand my step son, long distance relationship, step mom
long distance relationship, step mom, sand man: Hello Brianne, Hormones rage sometimes out of control when pregnant. But when mixed in an environment such as the one you ve described, it becomes worse. It is unfortunate that adults think they need to be their child s buddy, instead of their parent,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Caught in the middle, personality differences, dear al
personality differences, dear al, older girls: Dear Al: I think family counseling would be a good idea. It seems that the girls have taken a stand and so has your wife. Since it may be difficult to have a family meeting to discuss it, a stepfamily therapist could be veyr helpful. I think it s important...

Parenting Stepchildren: Child Custody/Visitation Rights, noncustodial parent, parent visitation
noncustodial parent, parent visitation, custodial parent: Angela: The non-custodial parent must take the mother to court (sue her) and force the enforcement of the court orders. She will probably be required to pay for his legal fees if she is found guilty. He should make arrangments to pay his support check...

Parenting Stepchildren: Children/ Travel/ Pets/ Manners, evil stepmother, planning a family vacation
evil stepmother, planning a family vacation, having time: Well...will you all be living in the same residence? What are the accommodations? Chances are this could be sticky. Some people consider pets their family and simply wouldn t consider having them kenneled while they vacation. Not that I don t agree,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Christian step-mothering, mental health issues, godly examples
mental health issues, godly examples, step mom: Dear Step-mom/Mom, First of all....I know exactly how you feel. I have been there and know the pain and tug of war that goes on in your head as you came into your marriage with expectations as to who you are to be and how the dynamics of the family will...

Parenting Stepchildren: Concerned, demon children, wetting the bed
demon children, wetting the bed, different child: This sounds familiar. My stepchildren now 19 and almost 17 were 4 and 6 when hubby and I first got together. We would have good kids while they where with us long periods, but then they would go to their mom s and we would get demon children back. Their...

Parenting Stepchildren: Confused about role......, recourse, 4 months
recourse, 4 months, uncles: If I could have met you before you got involved with someone who had kids I would have told you to run! But now that you are involved, and in love, things are complicated as with all blended families. I didn t have any children of my own when I met hubby,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Confused, wits end, job1
wits end, job1, nothing but trouble: Hi Tamie - perhaps I assumed wrong. The way you described your frustration and concern, it sounded as tho you felt mostly responsible for Haley, and got too little empathy, affirmation, and support from your husband with your stepmothering. I wonder if (1)...

Parenting Stepchildren: Controling Ex-wife Dealing with visitations, two little girls, husban
two little girls, husban, diffent: WOW! If I may be so bold let me say that woman sounds like a nut case! She also sounds to me that she still has much interest in your husband and I find it offensive that your husband will go out and eat with her. Your husband needs to stand up and...

Parenting Stepchildren: Controlling Daughters, man time, lack of respect
man time, lack of respect, connie: Dear Connie Lesson number one.......YOU CANNOT CONTROL ANYONE BUT YOURSELF! What your husband is doing is done by choice. Seems to me like you should have clued in 3 wives ago! The issue is with your husband and not the daughters. Until the two of...

Parenting Stepchildren: Criminal Stepson, day laborer, homeless friends
day laborer, homeless friends, stepson: You have a responsiblity to keep your daughter safe. If you have to leave your husband to do that, then you have to leave your husband. Here is basically how I handled a very similar situation after years of fighting..... I was in a very similar situation....

Parenting Stepchildren: Custody of Step-Children, custody decisions, divorce case
custody decisions, divorce case, full custody: Dear Amy, What a sad story. I m so sorry. I don t know what state you live in, but most states do not grant stepparents any rights. There are some states that are changing this situation, but I m not aware of any states where the law has actually changed....

Parenting Stepchildren: Custody of step child, parenting role, step parenting
parenting role, step parenting, sole support: Dear Dee, Seems to me that you are taking on things that really you shouldn t have to. How disabled is your husband? Is he interacting with these adult children? Dee, one thing that is necessary to learn in the step-parenting role is this......you cannot...

Parenting Stepchildren: What to call Stepmom?, word mom, biological daughter
word mom, biological daughter, celebrity couple: Momma Heather . That gives you the affectionate Mom name with out stepping on Mom s toes. I see everyones side on this, I as a Mom would be devastated to hear my son call another woman Mom. I like Momma Heather, I think it is cute, but you must remember...

Parenting Stepchildren: He called me mommy, She called him dadda, aunts and uncles, sexual involvement
aunts and uncles, sexual involvement, full custody: Dear Tina, I don t know if your question is for real or not. Why would a 27 year old man want to be involved with a 17 year old teenager? You, young lady, need to be living at home with your mother and father. If they are not available, then you need to...

Parenting Stepchildren: When does a child become a step-child, ohio revised code, titlepage
ohio revised code, titlepage, stepchild: Yes, they are legally considered stepchildren. Don t know where to find this, but a stepchild is a child that is the child of a spouse, excluding children born of the relationship between the two spouses. Not sure what you need this information for,...

Parenting Stepchildren: child protective services and custody, egg donor, running a fever
egg donor, running a fever, precious angel: Dear Misty: A few more thoughts: 1. You cannot withhold a child from seeing her mother because of unpaid child support. 2. You can always try to go in for child support arrearages, try to garnish wages, and maybe get back suupport plus interest and...

Parenting Stepchildren: child support for non-custodial parent, child support payments, parenting agreement
child support payments, parenting agreement, parnet: Dear Brandi: This is really something that each state regulates. You should check with your husband s attorney and reread the custody and parenting agreement. It might answer the question in the agreement itself. Part of the child support payments are made...

Parenting Stepchildren: My child vs. his child, disciplin, sone
disciplin, sone, bf: I agree about the age differnce, but I also think rules are rules, if one is breaking them, then the rule is broke regardless of age. The punishment should certainly be different, but the rule is broke just the same. Try some reverse psycology (sp?, I...

Parenting Stepchildren: children vs stepchildren, stepchildren, nice things
stepchildren, nice things, game time: This is tough. I hear punishment, I hear talking, what about positive rewards? This one was ALWAYS hard for me because I didn t want to do anything nice for them! This is what I suggest, sit them down, explain to them that you would like to do nice things...

Parenting Stepchildren: children do what they want, dirty cloths, dirty basket
dirty cloths, dirty basket, doing laundry: Hello Eileen, No, they are not your children, but you did marry their father. With that said, when do you think their father will gain some form of a clue about the snowball building within his home? Building to a huge explosion of possible terrible events?...

Parenting Stepchildren: conflict with boyfriends son, negative attitude, good starting point
negative attitude, good starting point, best bet: Hi Rachel, This is a pretty typical stepfamily problem. So don t feel all alone here. Your new plan of having dad deal with him is probably your best bet temporarily. You need some time to cool off and not feel as resentful as you sounded in your question....

Parenting Stepchildren: confused about custody, marvelous mom, parenting techniques
marvelous mom, parenting techniques, something fun: Alot of mothers find themselves in the same situation as you. The other parent, the fun parent, is called the Disneyland Dad or the Marvelous Mom because of all the frills they do for their child that they only have a couple days a week. I have some...

Parenting Stepchildren: So confused, counsler, stepparent
counsler, stepparent, tough job: Hello Kayla, You made the right decision. Go see the counselor and work your way through your feelings. Give your husband credit for wanting to go with you to fix this. Sometimes, we do rush into things without taking a good look at at the big picture...

Parenting Stepchildren: crazy ex, daghter, dna test
daghter, dna test, husb: Hello Beth, Visitation? I would fix the custody issue. This woman is an alcoholic and drug user and raising a child in this environment? I would forget about all of your feelings regarding this matter and concentrate on the well-being of the child. She...

Parenting Stepchildren: custody issues, child support case, legal aid clinics
child support case, legal aid clinics, mother lives: Glynis: I don t know the law in Texas but, in most states, if you go to the Clerk of the Court and talk to someone about the issue, especially if the mother is in agreement with a change in custody, you can usually find a way to have someone help you draft...

Parenting Stepchildren: custody, legal gaurdian, legal question
legal gaurdian, legal question, child support: This is a legal question, I am not a lawyer, but will tell you what I know from my life, and suggest you call to check laws in your state. Often if the other parent has been TOTALLY absent for two years or more, not paying child support, no contact etc....

Parenting Stepchildren: Dating with a young child., parenting role, long term relationships
parenting role, long term relationships, new neighborhood: Hi Suzanne - I commend you and your ex for providing your daughter with an amiable parental relationship and nurturing surroundings. Did your daughter have occasion to say goodby to your recent partner? Does your girl understand that sometimes friends stop...

Parenting Stepchildren: My Daughter Hates Her Stepfather, step dad, teenage daughter
step dad, teenage daughter, reassurance: Dear Hallie, Since this affecting you so much, I d really encourage you to seek out a counselor at this time. You really need an additional support person to help you through this time. This person can be with you every step of the way and work directly...

Parenting Stepchildren: Daughter hates stepfather, custody dispute, face of the earth
custody dispute, face of the earth, last straw: Dear Peggy, Time for a family conference. You have to take the lead here as the mother. First of all.....NO ADULT should be treated the way your daughter is treating your husband. Do not tolerate it one minute more. There should be consequences for behavior...

Parenting Stepchildren: Dealing with an angry stepdaughter, rocky relationship, ups and downs
rocky relationship, ups and downs, stepchildren: I TOTALLY understand! My husband is 10 years older than I am. We have been married 10 years this Decemeber. Anyway, you MUST release yourself. You must know she is NOT your problem. She is grown, you have done what you can, now let it go! Letting...

Parenting Stepchildren: Dealing with an ex, children of divorce, good relationship
children of divorce, good relationship, randi: Randi, First of all....Dad needs to be handling this..not you. And if you think this problem is going away....think again. Until Dad takes control of this situation...it will always be. There is no need for bio mom to be yelling at you. Secondly...let...

Parenting Stepchildren: Death, wrestling with guilt, greiving process
wrestling with guilt, greiving process, step daughter: Hi Tammy, I d like to suggest that you guys look for a bereavement class for her. Most of these are found at hospitals in their hospice areas. Even though your step-daughter didn t know her mother, there is the dream and fantasy of what life with her...

Parenting Stepchildren: Defiant stepchild, marriage relationship, horrible person
marriage relationship, horrible person, stepson: I just want to clarify something first. You said His 13 year old stepson ...you meant his son, correct? To me, it sounds like you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. If your rules are ALWAYS the same when he comes, then that s the best that...

Parenting Stepchildren: Depressed step-son, strong work ethic, serenity prayer
strong work ethic, serenity prayer, suicide issues: He s 23 years old. Does he live with you? If not, keep saying the serenity prayer and leave it alone. The added pressure my someone else can cause the depression itself. However, if he s living at home, make it a condition of living there. Get a job,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Developmental Psychology Student with questions..., psychology student, step parents
psychology student, step parents, biological parents: Hi. When you asked this question, I bet you had no idea how long of an answer you would get, but here goes. Okay, my biological parents first: My mom is a postal clerk for the USPS, and has always wanted m eto further my education, although she pushed me...

Parenting Stepchildren: Developmental Psychology student, psychology student, step parents
psychology student, step parents, biological parents: My mother has always let me know that it is important to get an education, never told me I HAD to do it, but I should do it for me, so I would always be able to support myself. She has her masters degree and most of her siblings went to college and have...

Parenting Stepchildren: Differing parental values, expensive clothes, parental values
expensive clothes, parental values, best toys: Good For You! Don t give in. You know what we must remember? That we are making an inprint even if we don t think so. Try things that won t be so invasive. Example: Try showing stepdaughter your TWO shirts you got at Wal-Mart, tell her how cool it is...

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficult new relationship with boyfriend and 8 yr old son, long distance relationship, dominant personality
long distance relationship, dominant personality, school breaks: Hello Christi, The best sentence in this entire letter is he wants to go to family counseling. I say GO! There are some issues here that won t resolve themselves if left unattended. You need an unbiased opinion of a neutral party (counselor) that will...

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficulties with an 8 year old step child, eight year old boys, autistic girl
eight year old boys, autistic girl, good relationship: Donald, Issues that are present before marriage will be around after marriage.....so don t expect this problem to go away. You will have to take your cues from the mother as to when and how you will be able to discipline...and that should come after...

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficulty with stepson, 12 year old boys, mom and dad
12 year old boys, mom and dad, power struggle: Dear Sandy, Has this problem just started or is it something that you have had to deal with from the beginning? Where is the bio mom? Remember too that 12 year old boys really want to bond with their dads. I understand about the feelings that you have....

Parenting Stepchildren: Difficulty with Wife and Stepson, serious conversation, stepson
serious conversation, stepson, hilt: Dear Tim, First of all, let me apologize for not responding in a more timely manner. I am in the process of moving and it has taken longer than anticipated. The difficulty that you are experiencing is very common and very frustrating. But it needs to be...

Parenting Stepchildren: Discipline role of a step parent, sick to my stomach, step parents
sick to my stomach, step parents, tattling: Well, I m not sure I can tell you what to do. Discipline. That s all I have to say. We let our kids know up front what is what and when they break a rule, there is a consequence and we remind them that it was their choice to break the rule, their choice...

Parenting Stepchildren: Disciplining Step Children, play one, united front
play one, united front, disciplines: Samantha, You and your husband are responsible for the children that are living in your home. The two of you should have a united front when it comes to discipline. If you don t...the children will play one parent against the other or one household against...

Parenting Stepchildren: Disciplining Stepchildren, mental health issue, wicked stepmother
mental health issue, wicked stepmother, stepkids: Hello Robbie, Firstly, breathe! Welcome to the world of indecisive stepparenting. You are not alone. Your husband does need to take an active role in raising all his kids. With a mental health issue involved, this could prove difficult at best. He will...

Parenting Stepchildren: Disciplining step-children, feaces, dirty plates
feaces, dirty plates, toilet seat: Hello Una, ....where to begin. Yes, I do promote leaving the disciplining to the bioparent. However, in a dysfunctional situation such as this, other, greater concerns arise. To be very frank, your husband is the cause of spoilt goods. And, sadly...

Parenting Stepchildren: Divorce process, divorce mediator, many blessings
divorce mediator, many blessings, atorney: Leenda, First of all, each state s laws on child support are different, so you really should consult with a divorce mediator or atorney in your state or look up the rules/statutes on minimum child support required in your state. In Illinois, the first...

Parenting Stepchildren: My daughet acts out when her step sister is around, those rare occasions, cuss word
those rare occasions, cuss word, negative behavior: Hi Misty, Your question came to me at such an interesting time. Yesterday my 8 and 9 year old daughters were outside playing with my neighbors kids, 7 and 6 years old. These kids do a lot of whining and my girls were never whiners. Well yesterday, I was...

Parenting Stepchildren: my daughter, daughter crystal, full custody
daughter crystal, full custody, blended families: Hello Linda, All children heading into the terrible teen era talk back. Moms are home more and are the planners and nurturers of the family. Dads are the providers and stability of the family. Often times, the roles cross or blend or switch. It is only...

Parenting Stepchildren: my daughter's new step-parent, mild mannered man, birth father
mild mannered man, birth father, good kid: Hello again White Flag, Welcome to the world of moody teens. Your daughter clearly has issues. Counseling would be in her best interests. As parents we should love unconditionally all our children equally. You need to stop taking things to heart and understand...

Parenting Stepchildren: daughter, dads and daughters, dear debbie
dads and daughters, dear debbie, daddys girl: Dear Debbie, How old are you? Let me tell you that if you are getting upset over a puppy, then you had better back off and rethink this relationship. Dads and daughters are very close and if you think for one minute that you have say as the girlfriend as...

Parenting Stepchildren: How to deal with the controling ex and how to gain love and respect from my future stepchild, troubled relationship, abusive situation
troubled relationship, abusive situation, stepparent: Hello Brian, The down side to this, could be the issue that you may not be married to this woman? There are legal issues that may get in your way, you may want to check into this first. The fact that your lady friend has come from an abusive situation gives...

Parenting Stepchildren: How do I deal with this situation?, social servises, anger problem
social servises, anger problem, soft drugs: You have a wild one on your hands. I can relate. I really think by the sounds of it she needs in patient help. I can not of course guarantee it will help, we put my s/d in a hospital for 3 months, it didn t help her much at all, but for some kids it does....

Parenting Stepchildren: How do I deal with stepson, household chores, dear jennifer
household chores, dear jennifer, stepson: Dear Jennifer: Well, to start off with, you have more than one issue. Let me list what I see are the problems: 1. A husband who doesn t want to parent his 12 year old child at an age-appropriate stage because he feels guilty about the divorce and the...

Parenting Stepchildren: how to deal w/14 yr old step daughter the boy is awesome hes 11, kids computer, step daughter
kids computer, step daughter, bry: Darcy, Teenager s are hard to deal with. The daughter of your husband could be jealous of your relationship with him. She might try to set you off so you will leave or (run off). When you do escape she has all of her father s attention. In other words...

Parenting Stepchildren: how to deal with...., family counceling, law drugs
family counceling, law drugs, step kids: Dear Lorrie: The situation you describe is difficult because you already know that the children, especially the daughter, are troubled and problematic. The best part, however, is that your husband is home 24/7 and doesn t take any grief from his daughter....

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with bitterness/anger, money cause, private high school
money cause, private high school, stepdaughter: If you are an ogre, I am one too. I know exactly how you feel! I would urge your husband to seek a change in the court order. Don t let her get away with this. It sickens me that the ex can make all these expensive choices that you have to pay for! ...

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with husband and stepson, candle light dinners, stepson
candle light dinners, stepson, freind: Wow, you are a brave one, you have two kids about grown and out, and you are wanting to start over? I would be thinking vacations and candle light dinners. :) Anyway, back to your problem, and it certainly is one. Sometimes I think parents that do not...

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with step children, long periods of time, time off
long periods of time, time off, many thanks: Dear Charmaine, Visitation has to be changed if it is not including time with their father. I would be upset too if he was not around most of the time while his children are at your house. You SHOULD NOT be doing all of this. The children are to be at your...

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with my step daughter who's 14, 14 year old girls, dear paula
14 year old girls, dear paula, step daughter: Dear Paula, This is a problem for DAD.....not you. Why is your husband allowing this to go on? For one thing, 14 year old girls are notorious for making problems with parents and being in your situation just doubles the mess. Back off from her and let...

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with stepdaughter, evil witch, softball games
evil witch, softball games, wits end: Wow, not fun! Let me first say I have an almost 17 year old stepdaughter that I can not stand! Her Dad and I have been together since she was 4. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. There is not a cure all solution to this. There really isn t...

Parenting Stepchildren: dealing with stepson, stepson, stepmom
stepson, stepmom, 7 months: Hi Kimberly, It doesn t sound like things are very fun at your house right now. The problem lies with the fact that you have little power in this situation. While you ve been in this boy s life since he was 6, father hasn t done an especially good...

Parenting Stepchildren: definition, stepfamily relationships, federal goverment
stepfamily relationships, federal goverment, stepchildren: In stepfamilies, it all really depends on the role that your stepmother and you want to establish. A stepfamily is a family in which one adult mate agrees to help raise the bio children of a spouse. Stepfamily is essentially a term used to describe the...

Parenting Stepchildren: dicipline, step mom, congratulations on your marriage
step mom, congratulations on your marriage, bad person: Congratulations on your marriage Joleen, The biofather is responsible for disciplining. He can inform his daughters that while he s away, you should be listened to and respected and if anything happens while he s gone, he will deal with it and then he should...

Parenting Stepchildren: difficult step son, psychological wounds, low self esteem
psychological wounds, low self esteem, angry all the time: Hi Tara - you describe three potentially serious SURFACE re/marital problems: (1) a loyalty conflict (or several), (2) probably one or more relationship triangles, and (3) ineffective problem-solving between you mates. All three can be reduced, once you...

Parenting Stepchildren: difficulty with ex wife, excessive anxiety, soccer game
excessive anxiety, soccer game, hypochondriac: Hello Chris, I m no expert in this field but I did do a bit of research into an issue surrounding hypochondria once. Hypochondria is a constant and excessive anxiety about ones health. Although you daughter may not display signs of this, it sure sounds...

Parenting Stepchildren: disciplining teenage stepchildren, parenting time, alternate weeks
parenting time, alternate weeks, irresponsible behavior: Hi again. (1) My opinion is - it s a worthy goal to shoot for similar-enough disciplinary rules in both houses, but I think expecting them to be clones isn t possible. Worthy targets are to (a) try for the same basic child-raising *goals* in both homes, (b)...

Parenting Stepchildren: How to have discussions with stepchildren, stepfamily situation, stepparent
stepfamily situation, stepparent, biological father: Hi Robert - sorry for the delay in answering. I understand your wanting to find the right time for your six year old. My hunch is she s old enough now to understand the basic realities of your stepfamily situation, though it may cause you all some turbulence....

Parenting Stepchildren: disipline, child discipline, natural consequences
child discipline, natural consequences, relationship problems: Hi Brandy - I m not qualified to answer legal questions, but my guess is there is no law to back you up *unless* the spankings are clearly abusive. you describe a classic stepfamily child-discipline values conflict and associated relationship triangle,...

Parenting Stepchildren: disrespectful stepson, adult men, nurturance
adult men, nurturance, stepfamily: Hi Sherrie - by implication, your partner seems to value his job more than your re/marriage and your stepfamily. Your stepson s behavior may reflect hurt and anger at (a) being abandoned by both (?) bioparents and (b) having to witness your steady nurturance...

Parenting Stepchildren: He doesn't like my son....He doesn't like kids.., biological child, affections
biological child, affections, tough times: Hello BG, Move on. He has no desire to have a family with you. For a man to ask a woman to give up her biological child, well quite frankly, he is sending you a message LOUD AND CLEAR. Only, you are not listening. You should find someone who is willing...

Parenting Stepchildren: I don't know how to handle this, serious things, divorce
serious things, divorce, relationship: WOW! This is a tough one. I didn t have any children when I married so I don t have that to relate to. I did however come in to the relationship when my husband s daughter was 4 and we had similar problems with him letting her get away with EVERYTHING!...

Parenting Stepchildren: What if I don't like my step son?, step mom, stepparent
step mom, stepparent, stepmom: I know how difficult it will seem, but you have to find something you and the 11-year-old have in common. Start playing games with him, take him to parks and play frisbee or ball. Find something that you two have in common with which you can form a bond....

Parenting Stepchildren: I don't want my stepson to move in with us, psych ward, exageration
psych ward, exageration, constant motion: Try this: I know you love your son, and I love you for your love for him, but he needs more help than we can give him. If you bring him into our home it will most likely end our marriage because we are not equipped to deal with a child with these problems,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Easing relationship with possible future step daughter, future step, full custody
future step, full custody, methamphetamines: I am sitting here trying to figure out a way to say what I want to say without sounding like Mrs. Negativity. :) What you are saying is great, it would be wonderful if it worked that way, but it usually don t. Moms don t take to well to other women running...

Parenting Stepchildren: Emotional Issues with Step-Children, discipline plans, adult support
discipline plans, adult support, natural mother: Hi Courtney - I feel sad reading your (common) question. Suggestions: (1)learn why your stepdaughter s (SD)biomom (BM) ignores her; and (2) patiently try to help SD (a) understand and (b) grieve well, while you mates (3) continue to provide the best co-parenting...

Parenting Stepchildren: Emotional Rollercoaster, stepmom, piece of mind
stepmom, piece of mind, infidelity: Do you have any children? If not can you imagine the love a child has for a mother? Maybe you had a real strong love for your Mom? I say this because sometimes I think us stepmoms get so wrapped up in our own feelings we forget about the child and how...

Parenting Stepchildren: Enough is Enough..where do I go from here?, borderline personality disorder, symptoms of borderline personality disorder
borderline personality disorder, symptoms of borderline personality disorder, family counseling: Hello Theresa, ...harmonious blended family one day... Well... Here s the deal. I would have your house telephone number changed to unlisted. That way you will not have to deal with her at all. Then, your husband should make contact with her once a...

Parenting Stepchildren: Ex husbands and kids that aren't mine, rough patches, boyfriend girlfriend
rough patches, boyfriend girlfriend, couple kids: WOW! You are quite the guy. I was actually almost exactly in your shoes once, except I was the female in the situation. My husband is ten years older than I am, his kids where 4 and 7. His ex hated me more than anything else in this world! She convinced...

Parenting Stepchildren: Ex wife drama, angry letters, teenage years
angry letters, teenage years, fiance: Hello Brianne, First, I would get a lawyer to write the 22 year old a nice letter explaining the consequences of slander. Any threats in a blog can be used to put her in jail for uttering a threat with intent of doing bodily harm. Then I would have the...

Parenting Stepchildren: Expecting & a 9 yr old soon to be step-daughter, building a family, natural mother
building a family, natural mother, step daughter: This does sound like a rough situation, but I do think that you are doing the right thing and should just keep plugging along in the same manner you have been. Include her, keep referring to the new baby as her brother , ask her to help pick out some clothes...

Parenting Stepchildren: eight year old stepdaughter, major stumbling block, daily basis
major stumbling block, daily basis, sexual awareness: Dear Gina, WOW! You have quite a mess on your hands. I believe that you are right. This child needs therapy and needed it yesterday. Sounds like DAD has his head in the sand. SO......get his attention and tell him that you are going to make an appointment...

Parenting Stepchildren: equality between step and bio children, mom lives, terrific father
mom lives, terrific father, foster mom: Dear Christine, If you feel it necessary, then just voice your opinion to your brother. Don t expect a receptive response though. After that.....leave it alone. While they are gone, perhaps you can get with this child and do some fun things with him....

Parenting Stepchildren: ex-wife forces herself on our relation, delicate situation, fiance
delicate situation, fiance, wedlock: Lorena, While I know this woman is impacting your life, this is really your fiance s battle - not yours. Let him handle it. If you get in the middle of it, it will probably only make her try to hold on even more. HE needs to be the one to deal with her...

Parenting Stepchildren: ex wife, rehearsal dinner, biological daughter
rehearsal dinner, biological daughter, step daughter: Sadly, none. I think what s done is done, you cannot turn back the clock. I suggest you allow your husband to deal with his daughter as best he can as it sounds like he also has his hands full now from all of this. It is a guess but from what you ve briefly...

Parenting Stepchildren: Failed Blended Family, divorce support group, divorce rate
divorce support group, divorce rate, divorcesupport: Hi Randee, I want to direct you to a few places where I think you can work on getting your questions answered. 2 places online would be: http://divorcesupport.about.com/mpboards.htm http://forums.healthyplace.com/ubbthreads/postlist.php?Cat=&Board=reldivorce...

Parenting Stepchildren: Father going crazy response, son andrew, disrespect
son andrew, disrespect, marguerite: Hello Natalie, First let me say how happy I am to see your letter. It takes a great amount of courage to come forward with thoughts and feelings that often times, we keep bottled up. My greatest concern here, is the children. I believe there are signs...

Parenting Stepchildren: Father's Rights vs. what best for my 2 year old?, divorce parenting, emotional climate
divorce parenting, emotional climate, eating utensils: Hi Gustave - my bet is that one day a week away from his Mom should not be a problem for your son IF you all get into a standard routine. One of the biggest needs kids his age have is structure and routine. Another is familiar things - toys, eating utensils,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Favoritism toward bio child and not step child, forsaken children, marriage counseling
forsaken children, marriage counseling, marriage problem: Hi Christine - I m sad to read of your stepfamily loyalty conflict. It is the primary *surface* reason millions of stepcouples break up. If your husband expects your older kids to love him, then I d bet he (1) hasn t accepted that you all are a stepfamily,...

Parenting Stepchildren: Fed up!, pair of socks, time parent
pair of socks, time parent, good kid: Hello Jessica, The problem and the resolution to this situation lies within the biodad. There must be rules and boundaries. Dad s who only have limited access often make the mistake of trying to be their child s buddy and not the parent. They think if...

Parenting Stepchildren: Fiance doesn't want to be Stepdad, family atmosphere, step families
family atmosphere, step families, stepparent: Hello Lisa, My first reaction was: Can I help you pack? (grins) Of course, that may not be the only solution. You mentioned you get your two older kids, every other week. So you do not have custody of them, what about the younger child? Ask yourself...

Parenting Stepchildren: Financial responsibilities, court divorce, money goodbye
court divorce, money goodbye, exwife: YOU ARE RIGHT! If she takes him to court and he does not have any proof of what he has been paying he could be ordered to pay back child support, he would start out in arrears! Once that happens kiss all your money goodbye. In the state we are from if...

Parenting Stepchildren: Future step parent who does not like kids, great relationship, full custody
great relationship, full custody, future step: Get out. Get out now for the children s sake, your future husband s sake, and your sake. These are his children and if you don t like children, you have no business being involved with a man until those children are no longer active in their lives. Of course...

Parenting Stepchildren: Future stepson discipline issues..., loyalty conflicts, discipline issues
loyalty conflicts, discipline issues, adult relationship: Hi Isaias - your problem is a common one, with several parts: (1) your partner and her ex are probably significantly wounded people, and so is their son. You may be also; If so, that s a *major* red light! (2)You partners may not yet have accepted what being...

Parenting Stepchildren: My 13-year old daughter hates her new step-father, child support payments, exact scenario
Parenting Stepchildren: My 13-year old daughter hates her new step-father, child support payments, exact scenario, joint custody

Parenting Stepchildren: 14 year old stepson, lucky cause, great relationship
Parenting Stepchildren: 14 year old stepson, lucky cause, great relationship, stepson

Parenting Stepchildren: 19 yr old stepson moving back in, adult stepchildren, immature adults
Parenting Stepchildren: 19 yr old stepson moving back in, adult stepchildren, immature adults, decent person

Parenting Stepchildren: My 20 y/o stepdaughter is stealing from me, invasion of privacy, spoils
Parenting Stepchildren: My 20 y/o stepdaughter is stealing from me, invasion of privacy, spoils, watching tv

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult (?) Step Daughter, adult stepchildren, dependent adult
Parenting Stepchildren: Adult (?) Step Daughter, adult stepchildren, dependent adult, private time

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepdaughter, downpayments, stepdaughter
Parenting Stepchildren: Adult Stepdaughter, downpayments, stepdaughter, going to college

Parenting Stepchildren: Adult step child wants to move in., children watching tv, step daughter
Parenting Stepchildren: Adult step child wants to move in., children watching tv, step daughter, step mother